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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,833 Megamix. 2 00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:09,200 MEG (ON PHONE): Mark's home. 3 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,667 He's being weird. I need backup. 4 00:00:10,767 --> 00:00:11,600 Where are you? 5 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,467 Well, we being very busy. 6 00:00:14,567 --> 00:00:15,767 Guess what we're doing? 7 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:17,567 We're giving blood. 8 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:18,633 Giving blood? 9 00:00:18,733 --> 00:00:19,867 You do know you don't get paid for that. 10 00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,200 Yeah, you do. 11 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:21,967 No. 12 00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:23,633 You're thinking of sperm. 13 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,567 Excuse me. 14 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:25,700 Do you get paid for this? 15 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,600 No. 16 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,200 You're thinking of sperm. 17 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,067 We're coming over. 18 00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:40,400 [music plays] 19 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:48,100 [THEME SONG - AMANDA PALMER, "LEEDS UNITED"] 20 00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:07,100 [whistling] 21 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,000 All right, Mark? 22 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,567 Meggles. 23 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:12,100 Are we well? 24 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,967 Is everything OK, Mark? 25 00:01:14,067 --> 00:01:15,267 Yup. 26 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,867 It's just you seem a bit-- happy. 27 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:19,200 I finally found a venue for my club night. 28 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,567 It's great you're throwing yourself 29 00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:22,500 into your hobbies, Mark. 30 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,567 It's not a hobby. 31 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,700 It's a job. 32 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,067 Promoter. 33 00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:28,700 And I'm going to DJ. 34 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:29,667 What are you going to play? 35 00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:30,900 NOW 24? 36 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,833 Well, yeah. 37 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:33,333 I'm putting on a '90s night. 38 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:34,967 It's the hottest decade right now. 39 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:36,600 Surely the hottest decade right now 40 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:39,367 is the one we're actually in, what with it being the most 41 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,833 up to date of all the decades. 42 00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:42,767 Hi girls. 43 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,700 How did you get in? 44 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,467 We used our keys. 45 00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,767 Does anyone want a flyer for my club night? 46 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:57,067 90s night. 47 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,233 I'll put that in my fun files. 48 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,000 Yeah. 49 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,100 Page me! 50 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,067 [all laugh] 51 00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:04,933 Did you pay the electricity bill, Meg? 52 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,267 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 53 00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:07,400 Mm-hmm. 54 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,100 It's just they're threatening to cut us off. 55 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,600 Yeah, well, I mean, they always say that. 56 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:15,200 They wouldn't always say that if you actually paid them. 57 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,467 And can I trouble you for the rent? 58 00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:18,667 Yes and no. 59 00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:19,900 I've got half. 60 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,833 Maybe Bunny and Laura could chip in? 61 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,000 Seeing as how they live here now. 62 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,733 What a great idea! 63 00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:26,933 Hang on a minute. 64 00:02:27,033 --> 00:02:28,367 We only come here to charge our phones. 65 00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:29,300 And shower. 66 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,200 And sleep. 67 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,533 Yeah? 68 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,733 Can you give us till the end of the week, Mark? 69 00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:35,200 Yeah. 70 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,733 Speaking of which, are you free to come down on Friday? 71 00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:41,633 Yeah, I think that might be one of those mixed signals 72 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:42,933 we talked about, Mark. 73 00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:44,233 No. 74 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:46,333 I was hoping you could a flyer for my night. 75 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,100 Yeah. 76 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,533 Bit busy at the moment. 77 00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:49,800 It's 30 quid each. 78 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,400 We'll be there. 79 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:53,933 BUNNY: We're basically throwing an online jumble sale. 80 00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:57,500 I'm going to add retail to my CV. 81 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,433 Right. 82 00:02:58,533 --> 00:03:01,233 Boots are going up. 83 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,700 [keys typing] "Nice boots." 84 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,633 No, dear. 85 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,367 "On trend. 86 00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:12,100 Must-have. 87 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,667 Funky vintage. 88 00:03:13,767 --> 00:03:16,000 High street designer." 89 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,133 Look at that. 90 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:18,533 Already two pence. - Oh, no. 91 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,300 That's me. 92 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,000 I did a couple of fake bits. 93 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,000 Get the ball rolling. 94 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:22,967 Anyone seen my hair dryer? 95 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,267 It's in that box. 96 00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:26,167 You can bid on it, but it's about to be sold. 97 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:28,367 I just bet on this pristine Westwood dress, Meg. 98 00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,100 Well, this is going really well. 99 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,100 We need cash, not dresses. 100 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,000 Haven't you got anything to sell, Meg? 101 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,767 What's in that box? 102 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,700 All right. 103 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,800 It's just Mark's stuff. 104 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,500 What's this? 105 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,433 What's a cream pie? 106 00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,000 Dirty boy, Mark. 107 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,333 Yeah. Worthless. 108 00:03:48,433 --> 00:03:49,800 Sentimental value, that's all. 109 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,300 Sentimental? 110 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,100 Oh, yeah. 111 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,367 I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. 112 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,200 I think I'll take a trip down memory lane 113 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,600 and pop into the "Anal Asylum." 114 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,633 I think you've seen enough. 115 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:00,633 Hey. 116 00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:02,033 These tank tops are doing well. 117 00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,067 I've got messages. 118 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,400 "We can see your breasticles." 119 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,233 Eh? 120 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,000 What? 121 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,267 Let me see. 122 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:10,833 Does it come with a semi-naked girl? 123 00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:13,467 Oh my god! 124 00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:14,433 Oh, shit! 125 00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:15,667 Bunny, your tits are on the internet! 126 00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,767 Quick, take it down! 127 00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:18,300 [laughing] - Yeah, yeah. 128 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,767 Let me just read it. "Lovely jugs." 129 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:20,667 "Real nice cans." 130 00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:22,633 "Nice puppies." 131 00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:23,900 Thank you! 132 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,833 I've always wanted to be an internet meme. 133 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,800 What's this one? 134 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,767 Modeling work? 135 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,133 Yes, please. 136 00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:30,800 Well, that's creepy. 137 00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,067 Don't reply. 138 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,867 It'll be some perv. - Well, don't be silly! 139 00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,333 Pervos aren't allowed on the internet! 140 00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:42,733 [disco music plays] 141 00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,267 '90s night! 142 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,433 [spits] 143 00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:47,633 Poor Mark. 144 00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:48,533 Don't feel sorry for him. 145 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:49,833 It's a shit idea. 146 00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:50,767 Let's sack it off. 147 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,067 I'm bored. 148 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,100 I've got to get to my modeling job, anyway. 149 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,333 You're honestly going to go? 150 00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,000 It's 20 pounds an hour, Meg! 151 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:57,900 Too right! 152 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:58,833 It's dangerous. 153 00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,467 The guy could be a rapist! 154 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,533 It's a life drawing class, Meg. 155 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:03,533 He's not a criminal. 156 00:05:03,633 --> 00:05:04,700 He's got a website. 157 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,200 Yeah, because real life sexpests 158 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,900 don't know how to set up websites famously. 159 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,133 Let's go with her. 160 00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:12,233 No, I promised Mark I'd go to his night. 161 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,800 Judging by the look of things, I am the crowd. 162 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:15,900 All right. All right. 163 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,333 I'll just go with her. 164 00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:18,900 I really appreciate the support. 165 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000 I want 20%. 166 00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:24,133 See you, then. 167 00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:25,267 Good luck with your-- 168 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,200 tits. 169 00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:34,367 [disco music plays] 170 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,233 Whoa! 171 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,333 Are you all queuing for the '90s night? 172 00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:53,233 Obviously, yeah. 173 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,367 I'm on the guest list. 174 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,300 Have fun! 175 00:06:04,933 --> 00:06:05,733 Uh, excuse me. 176 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,767 You've got to pay. 177 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,933 Uh, I think I'm on the guest list. 178 00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:09,833 You are? 179 00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:10,967 Meg. 180 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,033 Megan Casick. I know Mark. 181 00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,167 Are you VIP? 182 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:15,967 Depends who you ask. 183 00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,367 No. 184 00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:18,800 Well, you're not on the list, so I can't let you in. 185 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:19,933 Oh, watch your backs, please, guys! 186 00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:26,300 [music plays] 187 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,533 Is that actually Pat Sharp? 188 00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:28,633 Of Fun House? 189 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,367 Yeah. 190 00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,267 Really? 191 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:32,067 Wow. 192 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:32,967 Oh, there's Mark. 193 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:33,967 I told you, Mark. 194 00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:36,100 I'm not wearing the mullet wig. 195 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,400 Mark! (LOUDER) Mark! 196 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:41,367 Uh, I think he's a bit busy with the artist, at the minute. 197 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,467 I do know him. 198 00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,767 Look, if you want a ticket, it's a fiver. 199 00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:49,733 Nice outfit, by the way. 200 00:06:49,833 --> 00:06:51,667 Very '90s. 201 00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:52,567 I'm not in fancy dress. 202 00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:06,767 ['90s music plays] 203 00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:08,133 OK, you guys! 204 00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,467 Let's re-run the fun and wave your hands in the air 205 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:10,033 like you just don't care! Long live the '90s! 206 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:21,733 [audience cheering] 207 00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,100 Hello, Meg. 208 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,633 Thanks for coming down. 209 00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:27,400 This is brilliant, Mark! 210 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,033 I thought it was going to be like your 21st-- nobody here! 211 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:32,267 I interact a lot more these days. 212 00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:34,533 I can't believe you've done all this. 213 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:35,567 It's really impressive. 214 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:36,933 I'm sorry, I sound surprised, don't I? 215 00:07:37,033 --> 00:07:37,833 Very. 216 00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:38,767 Sorry. 217 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,033 I'm just really surprised. 218 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,733 Sorry, I'm doing it again. 219 00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:44,000 I like your suit. Is it new? 220 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:44,933 Yeah. 221 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:46,467 Have you been working out? 222 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,633 A little bit. 223 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:48,533 Check the guns! 224 00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:52,100 Woo-hoo! 225 00:07:55,533 --> 00:08:03,267 ['90s music plays] 226 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:04,100 [doorbell] 227 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,767 Ah, ladies. Good evening. 228 00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:06,800 Hi, I'm Bunny. 229 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,733 You must be David. 230 00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:08,900 Ah, it's "Da-veed." 231 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:09,800 Please. 232 00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:15,600 Right. 233 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:16,633 Here's the deal. 234 00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:18,200 She'll do semi-naked for 20. 235 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,967 But if you want full frontal, you'll have to cough up double. 236 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,833 - She won't be naked. - All right. 237 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,633 Well she still wants 20. 238 00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:25,033 She'll be nude. 239 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:28,167 Nakedness is associated with shame and embarrassment. 240 00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:29,800 Nudity is different. It's art. 241 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:30,867 I want, um-- 242 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:32,100 Bunny. 243 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,067 --Bunny to feel confident and comfortable. 244 00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,633 - Yes. - Right. 245 00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:36,867 Well, we haven't got much time. 246 00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:38,033 So where's this class at, now? 247 00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:39,067 Oh, so it's, um-- 248 00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:40,433 just this way. 249 00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:41,367 Up in the studio. 250 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,533 Right. 251 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:49,467 Come you in. 252 00:08:49,567 --> 00:08:50,867 Right. No messing. 253 00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,100 When's the rest getting here? 254 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,667 Oh no, it's just me. 255 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,733 I'm sorry if I misled you. 256 00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:56,867 I'm the class. 257 00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:58,233 You know, I'm always learning. 258 00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:01,067 Because life is a lesson, and lessons are life. 259 00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,833 Right, Jeremy Kyle. 260 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,600 Well, I need a word with-- 261 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:05,533 my client. 262 00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:06,433 Bunny, over here. 263 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,433 (SOTTO VOICE) I don't care. 264 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,100 The whole internet's seen my tits. 265 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,233 And I was going to get my kit off in front of 20 people, 266 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,467 so why not one? What's the problem? 267 00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,367 Fine. 268 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,700 She'll do it. 269 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,867 But we want 20 up front. 270 00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:18,833 Fine. 271 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,433 Is this real wine, or what? 272 00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:21,367 Mm-hmm. 273 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,667 ['90s music plays] 274 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:27,667 Ladies and gentlemen! 275 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,133 Welcome to the '90s! 276 00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:35,567 [audience cheering] Are you having a good time? 277 00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:36,933 [all] Yeah! 278 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:39,600 I said, are you having a good time? 279 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,800 [all] Yeah! 280 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,600 Beats master! 281 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:44,800 [all] Beats master! 282 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,233 I just want to very quickly say 283 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:50,400 thank you to you all for coming down to the launch tonight! 284 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,033 And of course, thanks to Mr. Pat Sharp! 285 00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:55,200 Thanks, man. 286 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:01,733 But I also want to thank a very special lady 287 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,367 who's in the audience tonight. 288 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:07,167 She's been the inspiration and driving force 289 00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,567 behind getting this whole night off the ground. 290 00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:12,900 And I just want to say you rule my world, babe. 291 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,633 This is for you. 292 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:45,367 ['90s music plays] 293 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:46,100 Oh, hi, Meg. 294 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,300 Do you want a drink? 295 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:48,300 Yeah, I do. 296 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,567 A bottle of champers, please, Wayne. 297 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:50,467 Stick it on the tap. 298 00:10:57,367 --> 00:10:59,300 Can't believe you're nobbing the doorgirl. 299 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,000 She's the venue manager. 300 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,500 I can't believe you're nobbing the venue manager. 301 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,233 Yeah? 302 00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,633 We're just so happy. 303 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,500 I mean, how fit is she? 304 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,133 I really feel like I'm moving on. 305 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,667 She makes me feel good about myself. 306 00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:15,033 And I'm confident, I'm capable, I'm running my own business. 307 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,867 I've got new friends. I've got money. 308 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,467 I've got a girlfriend! 309 00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:21,233 I just feel-- sexy! 310 00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,933 And-- you won't believe this, Meg-- 311 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,467 she likes it up the bum! 312 00:11:32,033 --> 00:11:36,800 Um, just tilt your leg up for me, slightly. 313 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:38,800 A bit more. 314 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:39,833 Little bit more. 315 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:40,800 Oh, yes. 316 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,967 It's very powerful, is that. 317 00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,300 Are you comfortable? 318 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,367 Very. 319 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:46,033 It's beautiful. 320 00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,833 Actually, I think-- I think I know what might be-- 321 00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,267 more beautiful. 322 00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,967 If you just-- pull that sheet down a little bit more. 323 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:53,300 Just pull it down. 324 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,033 Yeah. 325 00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:56,300 Pull it down a bit more. 326 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,600 A bit more. 327 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,167 Yeah. 328 00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:00,133 Yeah, I think-- I think you'll see a bit more tit hanging out. 329 00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:01,233 Right. That's another 20. 330 00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:06,700 Oh, yes. This is very sensual, this. 331 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,567 Very powerful. 332 00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:09,867 Thank you. 333 00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:13,667 [moaning] 334 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,767 All right! We're going. 335 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:15,733 - Eh? - Get your stuff! 336 00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:16,900 I knew it. He's a perv. 337 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,633 No! This is an art class. 338 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,200 I'm not a pervert! 339 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,600 If you're not a pervert, how come you got a massive boner? 340 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,767 Oh! 341 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:23,900 Well, can we at least see the picture? 342 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,800 No, not yet! 343 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:25,733 Come on! 344 00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:26,633 No, I insist! 345 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,333 Right, we're out of here. 346 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:37,933 Oh. 347 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,633 Hi. 348 00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:42,500 So do you want to get the bus back with me to our house? 349 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,433 I think we're gonna-- 350 00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:44,933 I'm just going to pop to the loo. 351 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,800 [giggling] 352 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:49,967 All right. Get a room. 353 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:50,833 She's only going to the bath. 354 00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:51,500 See you in a minute. 355 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,100 [giggles] 356 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,433 (MIMICKING) OK, then. 357 00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:57,133 So, Mark. 358 00:12:57,233 --> 00:13:00,600 I just wanted to say, well done for tonight. 359 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,900 I really mean it. 360 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,233 I can't believe how much you've turned it around. 361 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,200 You've obviously got a real talent for all this. 362 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,800 And you look really fit. 363 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,033 Thanks. 364 00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:12,867 Suppose this is the new me. 365 00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:14,667 Well, I hope the new Mark doesn't 366 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:18,000 forget about the old Meg. 367 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,667 I never thought I'd hear you say that. 368 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,800 I think we're, uh, going to-- 369 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:22,933 --I want to get back together. 370 00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:23,867 What? 371 00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:24,800 Meg! 372 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:25,800 What are you doing? 373 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,100 You know I've got a girlfriend. 374 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,167 I need some space. 375 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:33,967 See you at home. 376 00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,200 Night. 377 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,000 You won't believe what's just happened. 378 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,400 I just tried to kiss Mark. 379 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,400 Come again? 380 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,133 He's really good at the organizing. 381 00:13:41,233 --> 00:13:42,567 And he's really popular! 382 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:45,100 And everyone was dancing, and I thought, that's Mark! 383 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,467 That's my Mark. 384 00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,833 And there's this doorgirl girl-- his girlfriend! 385 00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,100 And then, so I tried to ask him if he'd 386 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,033 get back together with me. 387 00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:51,900 Then I tried to kiss him. 388 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,233 Then he walked off. 389 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,233 OK. 390 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,333 I think I know what's going on here. 391 00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:56,333 Meg, darling-- 392 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:57,600 This is what happens when we leave 393 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,267 you on your own five minutes. 394 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,767 You've lost the plot now. 395 00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:02,533 You've really let me down. 396 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,367 Meg! 397 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,800 I don't need to think about it. 398 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,433 I'll tell Faye it's over. 399 00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,133 Of course I'll get back together with you. 400 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:09,633 You're the love of my life, Meg. 401 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,267 (WHISPERING) I bet that's the girlfriend. 402 00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,700 It's going to kick off any time. 403 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:16,600 Wait for it-- now! 404 00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,833 What the hell, Mark? 405 00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,133 Oh, right. 406 00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:21,367 So when you said it was awkward between you two, 407 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:22,933 you meant you wanted to fuck her! 408 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:24,300 Can I just say? 409 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,067 Not awkward! 410 00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,133 And he was mine first. 411 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,400 Meg, please. 412 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,267 - This is a trainwreck. - You cheating shit. 413 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,467 I can explain! 414 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,367 Oh, yeah? 415 00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,167 Get off. 416 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:37,567 In front of my face? 417 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,600 You're all the fucking same. That is it. 418 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,133 We are over. 419 00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:42,733 Oh, and if you think you're bringing your night back here? 420 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:43,767 Yeah. 421 00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:44,867 Just go. 422 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,267 Get out and don't come back here! 423 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:54,567 Well, I think we can safely say that's over. 424 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,333 Let's go home. 425 00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:57,667 OK. 426 00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:58,933 You guys coming? - Yeah. 427 00:14:59,033 --> 00:14:59,867 Right behind you. 428 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:00,967 OK! 429 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,767 I'd give it an hour or so. 430 00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:08,800 To me and you. 431 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:09,733 Yay. 432 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,267 I can't wait to get my old life back. 433 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,733 It's just all about you. 434 00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:21,500 And nothing else matters. 435 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,667 I feel like I can do anything now I've got you back. 436 00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,200 Can I tell you something? 437 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,333 Is this about the bum sex? 438 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,000 I don't care about that. 439 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,200 Oh, thank god. 440 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,733 I've been working on a hip-hop project 441 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:34,333 as a way of getting over you. 442 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,300 Won't need to do that now! 443 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,233 No. 444 00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:38,967 Shall I rhyme to you? 445 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,233 Um-- 446 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:42,333 (RAPPING) I feel alone all day and stare, 447 00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:45,433 I don't talk to you, just a lock of your hair. 448 00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:47,833 At least I got the photos, though, where you look 449 00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,367 like a model in the motor show. 450 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:51,500 Will I be alone now sitting on the shelf? 451 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,900 Nobody to hold, now I'm forced to touch myself. 452 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,133 Please don't tell me that I've been lied to. 453 00:15:56,233 --> 00:15:58,800 I just want to die (HIGH-PITCHED SINGING) inside you! 454 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,033 Sorry, Mark. 455 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,200 I think I'm going to be sick. 456 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,767 Are you OK? 457 00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:20,667 Yeah. 458 00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,367 I'm just being sick. 459 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:23,767 Everything's OK. 460 00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:25,567 It's just because I'm so-- 461 00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:26,333 happy. 462 00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:29,900 Well, I'll carry on then. 463 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,400 (RAPPING) We live together. 464 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,900 It's not enough for me to say next door 465 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,133 is only a footstep away. 466 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,700 I think that's from The Neighbors theme. 467 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,767 Oh yeah! 468 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:42,667 Mark, move! 469 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,200 - This is an intervention. - Right, Meg. 470 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:53,067 As your closest mates who love you, 471 00:16:53,167 --> 00:16:55,933 we want you to know that you are a total fuck-up. 472 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:57,133 I need to dump him again. 473 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,267 It's him or us, Meg. 474 00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:02,667 I thought I fancied him again but he's just started-- 475 00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:04,567 well, being Mark again. 476 00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,467 I think I just didn't want to see him happy with anyone else. 477 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:08,833 Is that bad? 478 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:09,900 Yeah. 479 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,100 Yeah, it is. 480 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,767 I think he thinks I love him! 481 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:14,933 Why? 482 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,500 Because I told him I love him. 483 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,500 Right. 484 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,667 Well, you go in there and you tell him 485 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:20,833 you just changed your mind. 486 00:17:20,933 --> 00:17:21,967 He Are you mental? 487 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,533 I can't confess to that. 488 00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:24,867 OK. 489 00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:27,733 Just say that you have a medical condition like Tourette's. 490 00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:28,900 Love Tourette's! 491 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,267 Yeah, great suggestion. 492 00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:33,767 Or I could just tell him I'm moving to crazy-ville. 493 00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:34,967 Right. 494 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,233 I've got it. 495 00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,467 I know what men hate. 496 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:39,767 Mark. 497 00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:41,800 I want us to start a family. 498 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,033 I don't want to waste anymore time. 499 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:45,900 I need you to put a ring on it, Mark. 500 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:46,800 Meg, I-- 501 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,033 I don't know. 502 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,867 Is this freaking you out? 503 00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:50,767 Um, yeah? 504 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:53,567 I need total commitment. 505 00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:56,333 If you're not on board with that, just say-- 506 00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,267 Meg, I-- 507 00:17:59,933 --> 00:18:05,100 I can't believe I'm saying this, but-- 508 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,300 of course I'll marry you! 509 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,100 What? 510 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,733 If that's what you want! 511 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:09,667 I'd do anything for you. 512 00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:13,233 Sorry. 513 00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:18,867 OK. 514 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,400 It's a shitstorm. 515 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,267 Why? 516 00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,467 - We're getting married. - OK. 517 00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:26,033 What's plan B? - That was plan B. 518 00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:26,967 Is this Mark's phone? 519 00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:28,467 - Yeah. - All right. 520 00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:29,400 OK. 521 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,467 I can sort this. 522 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,833 Meg, you make sure Mark stays in his room. 523 00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:34,333 It's a plan. 524 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:36,300 I've always wanted to try this. 525 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,467 I've always wanted to dominate you, Mark. 526 00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:40,533 Really? 527 00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:41,433 Mm-hmm. 528 00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:42,867 Yeah. 529 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,100 Back in a sec. 530 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,833 Hi. 531 00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:48,767 Had a text from Mark. 532 00:18:48,867 --> 00:18:50,067 Said to come in to talk. 533 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:51,167 In here. 534 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,733 What is going on? 535 00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:56,667 You! - Yes. 536 00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:57,600 Look, I know. 537 00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,067 I'm awful. 538 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,767 Does this whore wanna mess me about anymore tonight? 539 00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:02,067 No one's ever called me that before. 540 00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:03,333 All right. 541 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,667 So you just brought me here to rub it in? 542 00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:05,633 Mark? 543 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,367 Mark? 544 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:08,300 Faye? 545 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,900 Oh, please be a kinky explanation. 546 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,067 Look, I can explain. 547 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,233 FAYE: Very much doubt that. 548 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:14,867 Completely ruining '90s night for me. 549 00:19:14,967 --> 00:19:16,633 I have been waiting all fucking month 550 00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:20,467 for you to stop in and humiliate me in front of all my friends-- 551 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:23,000 By snogging my fucking boyfriend! 552 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,600 Selfish cow! 553 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:25,900 OK. 554 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,200 Let's just all put the spatula down and relax, 555 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,567 and Meg can explain. 556 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:49,467 [dramatic music plays] 557 00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:50,967 I need your help, Faye. 558 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,200 (EMPHASIZING) Faye. 559 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,933 Faye. 560 00:19:54,033 --> 00:19:56,800 I have a confession to make. 561 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,333 When I was in the club, I realized 562 00:19:58,433 --> 00:20:00,033 I had feelings for Mark again. 563 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,533 No shit. 564 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,600 So what I did was-- 565 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,200 --kissed him in front of his girlfriend. 566 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:04,933 Yeah. 567 00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:07,533 But-- turns out-- 568 00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:09,667 not actual real feelings. 569 00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:11,033 Not into the guy. 570 00:20:11,133 --> 00:20:13,300 Just didn't want to see him happy with anyone else. 571 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,467 Now I've remembered he's way too intense and creepy. 572 00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,200 For my taste. 573 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,867 So he's through there. 574 00:20:21,967 --> 00:20:23,133 He's all yours. 575 00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:26,367 I apologize for any inconvenience 576 00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:27,833 which may have been caused. 577 00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:32,167 And I hope you have a pleasant onward relationship. 578 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,700 - You're right. - What? 579 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:39,833 You're right. 580 00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:42,033 He is way too intense and creepy. 581 00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:44,500 I was totally humiliated by what you did. 582 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,967 But I was also secretly relieved it was over. 583 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:48,567 I was just using him for the sex, really. 584 00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:49,500 No. 585 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,667 No, you weren't. 586 00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:51,800 Come on! 587 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,933 You two are perfect for each other. 588 00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:57,500 Mark's kind, and he's generous, and he's 589 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,233 good looking-- in a way. 590 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:00,333 Well, you go out with him, then! 591 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,433 No. You go out with him! 592 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:03,233 - You! - No, you! 593 00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,533 Please! - I don't want to. 594 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:06,267 Fine! Shit. 595 00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:17,433 So Mark mentioned you have quite a lot of anal sex. 596 00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:18,333 Oh god, Meg! 597 00:21:18,433 --> 00:21:19,100 Sorry. 598 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,400 Just curious. 599 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,533 Don't know anyone that likes it, that's all. 600 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:23,467 It's fine. 601 00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:25,500 It's nice. 602 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,667 I heard it was better if you have a hot shower 603 00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:29,267 and finger your bumhole first. 604 00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:30,000 Really? 605 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:33,233 Yeah, Google said. 606 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,333 Well, I should go in and untie Mark and tell him 607 00:21:36,433 --> 00:21:38,467 I'm a terrible person and I only split up 608 00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:41,133 his relationship because it was damaging to my ego. 609 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:51,533 ['90s music plays] 610 00:21:51,633 --> 00:21:52,867 Mark. 611 00:21:52,967 --> 00:21:54,567 So you heard all that, did you? 612 00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:55,467 Most of it. 613 00:21:55,567 --> 00:21:56,400 Yeah. 614 00:21:58,367 --> 00:22:00,067 Did you hear the bit where I said I didn't actually 615 00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:01,567 want to get back together with you, 616 00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:03,633 and just not wanting to see you happy with anyone else? 617 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,233 Did you hear the bit where Faye said 618 00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,300 she also found you intense and creepy, 619 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,867 and she was just using you for sex? 620 00:22:12,967 --> 00:22:13,967 Yeah. 621 00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:15,400 Did you hear the bit where I said 622 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,533 anal sex was better if you fingered your own bumhole 623 00:22:17,633 --> 00:22:19,633 in the shower first? 624 00:22:19,733 --> 00:22:21,833 No, I didn't hear that bit. 625 00:22:21,933 --> 00:22:24,400 I'm gonna go. 626 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,667 Call you, Mark. 627 00:22:25,767 --> 00:22:26,600 Don't bother. 628 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:27,533 See you, Faye! 629 00:22:27,633 --> 00:22:28,433 Bye, Faye! 630 00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:29,533 [door slams] 631 00:22:29,633 --> 00:22:30,667 Right. 632 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:33,700 I want those two out. I want my rent money. 633 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,267 And I want back all the gifts I've ever given you. 634 00:22:36,367 --> 00:22:38,100 Well, we can't turn back time, Mark. 635 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,000 We've already been to see Cats, and that was more for you 636 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,633 than me. - The iPod? 637 00:22:41,733 --> 00:22:42,533 Fine. 638 00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:43,733 The stockings? 639 00:22:43,833 --> 00:22:44,633 Bit weird. 640 00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:46,100 Oh, and Bunny? 641 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,333 Your tits are all over the internet. 642 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,067 I know! 643 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:54,533 [giggles] 644 00:22:54,633 --> 00:22:57,700 [zapping noise] 645 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,833 They really mean it about the cutting off thing, then. 646 00:22:59,933 --> 00:23:00,767 Fucking hell, Meg! 647 00:23:03,833 --> 00:23:06,833 He's quite sexy when he's angry. 648 00:23:06,933 --> 00:23:07,800 [meg and laura groan] 649 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:09,333 [doorbell] 650 00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:10,233 Oh, hello! 651 00:23:10,333 --> 00:23:11,167 Ah! 652 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,400 Thanks! 653 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,533 [squealing] 41487

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