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[music playing]
2
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,067
[theme music]
3
00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,733
Morning!
4
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:00,767
You're happy.
5
00:01:00,867 --> 00:01:01,967
Let me guess.
6
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,400
Twitter followers
hit double figures.
7
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,333
Nope.
8
00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,533
Still plateauing
at the big seven.
9
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,500
Good wedding?
10
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,233
It was brilliant.
11
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,567
I met someone, actually.
12
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We just hit it off.
13
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,967
She ended up staying over.
14
00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:11,900
She?
15
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,367
I made a new friend.
16
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I had a friend
night stand, Laura.
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00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,200
So you met a
girl at a wedding,
18
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brought her back here, and
slept in a bed with her?
19
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,633
Sounds a bit gay, mate.
- Oh, come on.
20
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:22,800
You know I'm about the dong.
21
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,000
Yeah, I forgot
you're a cock-magnet.
22
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,333
I just made a new friend.
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Is that so hard to believe?
24
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Yes.
25
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,133
Look, she's brilliant, Laura.
26
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:30,033
You're going to love her.
27
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,433
She's over from Australia.
28
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:34,167
We met over our love for
the wheel of Stilton.
29
00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:35,500
We befriended a waiter.
30
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,967
Then he gave us a
bottle of champagne.
31
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:37,967
Then we made up a dance.
32
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,567
Then we did karaoke together.
33
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,667
She's a top laugh.
34
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,800
I'm going to invite
her to my 21st tonight.
35
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Meg, it's all
happening so fast.
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00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,600
Morning.
37
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:48,933
Good morrow, all.
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00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:50,100
Cillian.
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00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,667
You're ravishing
this morning, Meg.
40
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Laura.
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00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:56,133
Right.
42
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,100
May I trouble you for a
source of hydration, Meg?
43
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,100
That's actually Mark's.
44
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,533
Is he here?
45
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:02,667
No, he's back tomorrow.
46
00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:04,933
So can you strip
the bed, please?
47
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,100
You might want
to boil the sheets.
48
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,567
They're pretty
much rock hard now.
49
00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,000
[laughter]
50
00:02:11,367 --> 00:02:12,967
I do love being in this
kitchen, around you beautiful,
51
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:13,967
loving women.
52
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,367
Makes me feel ever so tranquil.
53
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,200
So, where's your
friend, then, Meg?
54
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,567
- She's still in bed.
- What friend?
55
00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,367
She picked her up
last night at a wedding.
56
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,233
Oh, Meg, your
lesbian sore spot.
57
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:25,533
It's not like that.
58
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,200
There's nothing gay
about me sleeping
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00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,767
in a bed with another woman.
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00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:29,667
[snorts]
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00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,900
Oh, grow up.
62
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,067
Look, Ellie's just my mate, OK?
63
00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,000
Deal with it.
64
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,567
ELLIE: Hi!
65
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:36,933
Hiya!
66
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,300
Hi, I'm Ellie.
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00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,233
Hi.
68
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,833
Hi.
69
00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,467
Oh, thanks.
70
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:43,400
I feel awful.
71
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,667
Yeah, me too.
72
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,533
My head is pounding.
73
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:47,833
Hung over.
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00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,133
Oh, totally worth it though.
75
00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,667
You were a riot.
76
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:54,800
Do you remember drawing the cock
and balls in the guest book?
77
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,433
Oh, my god, yeah, I do.
78
00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,267
Luckily, I managed
to turn it into a cat
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00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:00,533
before anyone noticed.
80
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:01,933
MEG: I told the
father of the bride
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00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,900
that it was a Chinese
good luck symbol.
82
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,800
Never give me rum again.
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00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,067
ELLIE: Good times.
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00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,100
All right, I'm going to
go get in the shower.
85
00:03:15,433 --> 00:03:16,233
What?
86
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,500
What?
87
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,700
That.
- Mate.
88
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,700
What?
89
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,800
BUNNY: Are you sure you didn't--
90
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,000
Oh, come on!
91
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:22,900
I know it's been a while.
92
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,500
But I'm not a lesbian.
93
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,333
OK, well, she is.
94
00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:27,367
Like 100%.
95
00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:28,600
How can you tell
someone's sexuality
96
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,800
by a two-second encounter?
97
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,600
BUNNY: Meg, I have
an excellent gaydar.
98
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,700
And yours is famously appalling.
99
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,667
No.
100
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:35,633
Is she?
101
00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,500
She doesn't look like one.
102
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,033
LAURA: What do you
want her to do?
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00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:41,067
Come swaggering in, in
dungarees and Doc Martens,
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00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,533
riding a motor bike?
105
00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:43,633
She's gay.
106
00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:44,567
Gay.
107
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:45,467
Gay.
108
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:46,633
Oh, shit.
109
00:03:46,733 --> 00:03:47,967
Really?
110
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:48,967
Oh, so what.
111
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,367
There's a lesbian in the house.
112
00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:51,800
So I've made a new
friend, that she just
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00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,800
happens to be a homosexual.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,033
Big deal.
115
00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:56,533
I'm not going to be
homophobic about it.
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00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,967
BUNNY: So just to clarify,
you're totally cool about this.
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00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,467
Of course I am.
118
00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:03,067
So you're going to invite
her tonight then, as your date?
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00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:05,400
Of course I am.
120
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,067
You're on the boob, you twat.
121
00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:14,167
MEG: No, I met her at
the wedding last night,
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and she stayed over.
123
00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:17,600
Yeah, the girl I was
doing karaoke with.
124
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,767
This is exactly why I'm
ringing, because I'm trying
125
00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:23,633
to avoid any homophobia--
126
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:28,300
I am bringing a lesbian
girl to my brother's 21st
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00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,833
as my plus 1 is what
I'm saying, Mum.
128
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,367
Just a heads up.
129
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:36,700
I hope you don't have a problem
with that, because I don't.
130
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,600
Yeah, bye.
131
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,900
That was Meg on the phone.
132
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,833
Yeah, is everything OK?
133
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,833
I think she just came out.
134
00:04:45,933 --> 00:04:47,300
Oh, that's 50 quid
you owe me then.
135
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,900
If you're going to eat
her face for breakfast,
136
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,167
do mind getting it to take away?
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00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:57,200
Oh, Laura, don't be like that.
138
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,467
Come and join in.
139
00:04:58,567 --> 00:04:59,567
Let's just be ourselves.
140
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:00,467
Hey.
141
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,433
What?
142
00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:03,167
Laura knows we share
a rude disregard
143
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:06,467
for the social conventions of
dating, monogamy being as it is
144
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,900
a capitalist construct,
in direct conflict
145
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,467
with the innate condition of
the oneness of the universe.
146
00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,500
You mean you both want
to fuck other people.
147
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,600
I can't help it if I'm
addicted to puss-puss.
148
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,700
Right, well, I can smell
your cock rot from here, mate.
149
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:20,667
It's put me off my breakfast.
150
00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:21,867
Give it a wash.
151
00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:23,333
BUNNY: Come on,
come back to bed.
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00:05:23,433 --> 00:05:24,267
Yes, Mommy.
153
00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,433
No one needs this, do they?
154
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,233
LAURA: Oh, god.
155
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,200
That's it, they're out of here.
156
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,533
Do you know it's not a
booty call but chicktionary.
157
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:40,700
How romantic.
To
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00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,700
I hate him.
159
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,667
Me too.
160
00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:43,667
Shall we tell Bunny?
161
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,967
No.
162
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,600
LAURA: At least she's
getting some good sex.
163
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,233
I can't even bring myself to
look at Gary at the moment.
164
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,767
Oh no, is it all off again?
165
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:51,900
Practically.
166
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,933
I mean, I can manage
Ducky, because I
167
00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:54,167
don't have to look at him.
168
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,367
But he knows that
means I'm pissed off.
169
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:59,133
It's kind of a
mixed message, Laura.
170
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,700
This has been going
on quite a while.
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00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,100
Do you not think maybe you'd be
better off with someone else?
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00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,133
Yeah, Gary wouldn't
have it though.
173
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,867
No, I meant break up with him.
174
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,233
Maybe.
175
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,700
But your brother's
inviting him tonight.
176
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,667
So I guess that means we'll
be playing happy families.
177
00:06:11,767 --> 00:06:12,800
Right.
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00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,367
Well, I think we
should go and rescue
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00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:17,233
Ellie before that hound ropes
her into some kind of sex game.
180
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,033
I don't think he's her type.
181
00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:21,300
I can't believe
he's anybody's type.
182
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,200
Come on.
183
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,033
Hi!
184
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,200
You look nice.
185
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,533
Excuse me, where
are you going?
186
00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:54,233
- The restaurant?
- Sorry, you can't go in there.
187
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,300
Oh right, I get it.
188
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,633
You have a problem
with her, do you?
189
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,333
- Meg, don't.
- No, I'm sorry.
190
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:00,900
This really gets on my tits.
191
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,300
It's the 21st century, mate.
192
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,700
Meg.
193
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,100
What people get up to in the
privacy of their own bedrooms
194
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,567
or any other rooms--
195
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,200
probably not public
spaces, that's gray area.
196
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,500
But--
- You've lost me.
197
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,733
I thought she was a, you
know, delivery woman.
198
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:13,933
Is that euphemism?
199
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,000
For what?
200
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,600
Nothing.
201
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,533
We just want to go up
to the party, please.
202
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:22,433
That's absolutely fine.
203
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:34,800
[elevator beeping]
204
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,933
So, Gary, you know Laura.
205
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:43,833
Bunny.
206
00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:44,967
Hi.
207
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,100
BUNNY: Cillian,
absolutely riddled.
208
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,667
And that's my brother, James.
209
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,733
Which one are you?
210
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:49,967
John or Edward?
211
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,433
Happy birthday, mate.
212
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,200
Thanks.
213
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,333
And Mum and Dad.
214
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,133
Really nice to meet you.
215
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,833
Babe, there is nothing
on here that I can eat.
216
00:07:57,933 --> 00:07:58,967
It's like carbs.com.
217
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,967
And that's Sara.
218
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:01,933
Is someone sitting here?
219
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,033
Here?
220
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,733
Oh, this chair's
for my bag, sorry.
221
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,167
It's a present from James.
222
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:08,367
And it's not fake.
223
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:09,367
Oh, good.
224
00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:12,533
Because nobody likes a fake.
225
00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:13,833
Where's Mark?
226
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,367
We're not together anymore.
227
00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:16,300
This is Ellie.
228
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,033
We met last night at a wedding.
229
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,233
She ended up staying over.
230
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,333
Did anyone see the bake-off?
231
00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:29,800
I really love that program.
232
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,467
Especially Sue Perkins.
233
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,467
I really like her.
234
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:38,600
Everything about her is
absolutely fine with me.
235
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,667
Exactly, Mum.
236
00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:40,600
I've never seen it.
237
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:44,967
Oh, my God.
238
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,867
That's City, that's
Bradford City, get in!
239
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,400
No way.
GARY: It is!
240
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,533
SARA: Oh, my God, amaze balls!
241
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,000
Gary, sit down, you knob.
242
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,500
All right, lads.
MEG: Gary.
243
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,433
City.
244
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:57,367
Asshole.
245
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,333
[singing]
246
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:01,000
Sit the fuck down, Gary!
247
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,600
Look what you've done.
248
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,333
Happy?
249
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,267
Sorry.
250
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:10,167
Yeah.
251
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,833
FRANK: You know, I
remember when people
252
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,167
actually used to say grace.
253
00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:22,800
Well, bottoms up, everybody.
254
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:24,367
Many happy returns
of the day, James,
255
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,533
you despicable young
whippersnapper.
256
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,333
Yep, up yours!
257
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:29,233
ALL: Up yours!
258
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:37,233
JENNY: 21 years ago today,
I was in absolute agony.
259
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,500
Mum, we're trying to eat.
260
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,167
We were just over
the moon it was a boy.
261
00:09:42,267 --> 00:09:44,133
FRANK: We were struggling
to conceive, weren't we.
262
00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,167
For a while
there, we seriously
263
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:49,867
considered adoption, which
is a perfectly legitimate
264
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:53,767
option for lots of people.
265
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,967
Shall I order some more wine?
266
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,800
Excuse me, can we
have some more wine?
267
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:01,533
And send a bottle of whatever
City are having to their table.
268
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,933
I can't believe
City are over there.
269
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:06,133
Gary, get over
it, you bell end.
270
00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:14,000
I'm just off for a slash.
271
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,667
Gary, you don't say that.
272
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:16,900
Sorry.
273
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,700
Will you all excuse
me while I urinate?
274
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,733
Is he waving at us?
275
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:28,967
Yeah, I think so.
276
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:32,967
He's coming over.
277
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,133
Hiya.
278
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,967
How's you, gorgeous?
- What me?
279
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,000
Fine.
280
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:37,900
You look nice.
281
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,033
Thanks.
282
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,600
Just on sale.
283
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:41,600
New hair.
284
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,700
Yeah!
285
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,133
Well, new to me.
286
00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:45,633
But it's really human hair like.
287
00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:47,167
Listen, I didn't get
a chance to say hi.
288
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:50,167
But I saw you when we
were out last week.
289
00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:54,200
I've got to say I love
the way you dance.
290
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,900
Thanks.
291
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,533
I love the way you kick.
292
00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:00,733
All the lads were saying you
were the fittest one in there.
293
00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:06,067
You better go.
My boyfriend's coming over.
294
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,067
Boyfriend?
295
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,800
That's a shame.
296
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,267
Oh, my God, oh my God!
297
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,133
Toilet's Some mint.
298
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,400
No one wants to hear it, Gary.
299
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,267
FRANK: Excuse me!
300
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,567
Sorry, but I think there's
been a bit of a mistake
301
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,867
with the wine here.
302
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:29,933
We didn't order a 300 pound
ball of Cristal Champagne.
303
00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:31,267
I'm just off for a ciggy.f
304
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,500
No, your friend ordered
it for the gentlemen
305
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,400
at the next table.
306
00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,233
LAURA: Gary, you fucktard!
307
00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,233
Hey, we're off to
the Hurley Burly.
308
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,333
Will we see you in there?
309
00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:51,500
Hurley Burly, the
burlesque place?
310
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,667
Yeah.
311
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,733
So will our favorite
dancer be working tonight?
312
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,667
Don't know.
313
00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:56,900
Who's your favorite?
314
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,700
You.
315
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,600
Oh, God.
I think you might have--
316
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,733
yeah.
317
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,733
Yeah, I'll be dancing later.
318
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,500
See you in there.
319
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,333
Look, love.
320
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,033
It's none of our business.
321
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:13,033
We don't mind what you do.
322
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,667
We'll support you.
323
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:16,767
We just think you're very brave.
324
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,633
It's only handing out flyers.
325
00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:22,333
To be honest, we always
had a hunch, didn't we?
326
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,500
It's really nice
meeting you, Ellie.
327
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,467
Yeah, you too.
328
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,200
Oh, no.
329
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,767
Bunny, quick word.
330
00:12:31,867 --> 00:12:34,100
Mum just said she supported me.
331
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,667
OK, and that's a bad thing?
332
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,700
She thinks I'm brave.
333
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,300
She thinks I just came out.
334
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,200
Well, I can't believe that
comes as any surprise, mate.
335
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,400
Because the whole
table thinks you're
336
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,633
a lesbian, particularly Ellie.
337
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,100
What, who?
338
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,900
I was just being her mate
so I don't look homophobic.
339
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,767
I'm not a fucking lez, though.
340
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:49,967
Right, where are we off, then?
341
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,833
I've had a brilliant idea.
342
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:53,267
How about we go
to Hurley Burly's?
343
00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:54,800
Isn't that a strip club?
344
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,433
No, Meg, it's
a burlesque club.
345
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:57,367
Yes.
346
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,867
OK, stripping in
old clothes then.
347
00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:01,067
It always takes ages for
the tits to come out, though.
348
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:02,400
Well, don't come then, Gary.
349
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,933
It's James's birthday,
so he'll decide.
350
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:05,867
In, obviously.
351
00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:06,833
In.
352
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,800
In and out, hopefully.
353
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:09,933
I love burlesque.
354
00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,533
It's so empowering.
355
00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:13,500
That's one word for it.
356
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:17,600
No, I'm sorry.
357
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,933
I'm not comfortable with going
to a burlesque bar with her.
358
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,933
This is all wrong.
- Brilliant.
359
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,933
Meg's on an accidental
lesbie date.
360
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:24,900
Ha!
361
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,500
Thank you, very supportive.
362
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:40,567
Do you want these
on the same hanger?
363
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:41,767
No.
364
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:42,667
Thank you.
365
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:51,000
So what's the difference
between burlesque
366
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,200
and stripping?
367
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,367
Two stone, usually.
368
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,267
It's more theatrical
and flamboyant.
369
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,667
And it's all about the tease.
370
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,300
Right.
371
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,867
I just love how the women
are totally in charge.
372
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:08,067
It's just so empowering.
373
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:09,367
Is that empowering?
374
00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,333
Someone just threw
money at her tits.
375
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:15,067
They're not
supposed to do that.
376
00:14:15,167 --> 00:14:17,967
That's Cillian!
377
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,233
It certainly is.
378
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,267
Is it just me,
or does that one
379
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,267
look like your friend Laura?
380
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:27,633
Oh, yeah.
381
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,533
That's uncanny!
382
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,100
Hot.
383
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:39,900
Hey!
384
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,500
That was quick.
385
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,633
Just watched you dance.
386
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:44,533
You were brilliant.
387
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,733
Stunning.
388
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,133
Thanks.
389
00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:50,967
So I'll give you a private
dance, if you want.
390
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:53,400
I had no idea it was
that type of place.
391
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,700
Yeah.
392
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,700
VIPs only.
393
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,233
Just over here.
394
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,533
CILLIAN: Bravo!
395
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:09,867
You are delicious.
396
00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:11,367
Call me later.
397
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:16,200
I must feast on that divine,
undulating temptress's body.
398
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,100
Woo!
399
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,467
This is so empowering.
400
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,867
So, how long have you
been a footballer, then?
401
00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:38,200
All my life, really.
402
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,800
I've been doing it
since I was a kid.
403
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,333
What about you?
404
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:44,967
Yeah, same.
405
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,567
Shall we crack on, then?
406
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:47,500
Yeah.
407
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:06,300
Don't you usually
put some music on?
408
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,700
Uh, yeah.
409
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,267
[techno music playing]
410
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:30,033
My brother is
so getting dumped.
411
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:32,533
She's gorgeous
though, isn't she?
412
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:33,533
Right.
413
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,267
Could I just say
something here, Ellie?
414
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:36,633
OK.
415
00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:38,067
You seem quite nervous.
416
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:41,667
No, no, I'm not.
417
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,933
So the thing is, right.
418
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,167
I just want to apologize.
419
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:49,200
Because I think I've
been leading you on.
420
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,700
I just-- I don't really
know how to say this,
421
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:56,633
but I need to make sure that
you know that I don't fancy you.
422
00:16:56,733 --> 00:16:58,700
You don't fancy me?
423
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,167
No.
424
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:01,500
OK.
425
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,867
That's absolutely fine, because
I don't fancy you either.
426
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,233
Oh.
427
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:08,967
Shit.
428
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:10,233
Oh, god.
429
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,900
It's-- I'm so embarrassed.
430
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,000
Sorry, I thought you were gay.
431
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,000
Yeah, I am gay.
432
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,767
I just don't fancy you.
433
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:19,900
Oh, right.
434
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,067
Oh, what, because I'm straight?
435
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,700
No, it's-- what?
436
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,667
You're not gay?
437
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,567
No, I'm just normal.
438
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,033
No, I'm all about the dong.
439
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,467
Oh, what?
440
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,167
So you thought I was a lesbian,
but you don't fancy me?
441
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,300
Well, no offense.
442
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,967
But you're just
not really my type.
443
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,300
I mean, you're fun.
444
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,100
But you're sort of
self-righteous and uptight.
445
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,800
And I'm just really not
into flat-chested girls.
446
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,600
And that thing that you do
with your face, when you--
447
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,667
OK, yeah, I got it.
448
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:49,267
Well, we could just be friends.
449
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:51,833
Yeah, that was
the original plan.
450
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,333
Hey listen, can I
tell you a secret?
451
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:55,100
Yes, mate.
452
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,800
I have a massive crush
on your cousin Bunny.
453
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:00,767
Cool.
454
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:03,467
Is it OK if I stay over?
455
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,800
Mm hm.
456
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:08,333
[techno music playing]
457
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,367
[telephone ringing]
458
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,633
Shit, cells.
459
00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:16,533
I'll be back in a minute.
460
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,133
Right, Gary, I've got
something to tell you.
461
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,733
You know how we've both got
one celebrity we can nob?
462
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:26,833
Of course.
463
00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:28,333
Holly Willoughby's
in trouble now.
464
00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:30,100
Well, I want to
swap off Matt Wright.
465
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,033
- Who are you swapping in?
- I don't know his name.
466
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,333
But he plays for Bradford City.
467
00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:35,100
Rick Henderson?
468
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,700
Yeah, that one.
469
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,967
Good news.
470
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:51,467
She doesn't fancy me, because
I am uptight and flat-chested.
471
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,267
Win.
472
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:54,833
So we're just going
to be friends.
473
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,267
Good, eh?
474
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:57,400
Yep.
475
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:03,267
I am off the hook,
because she fancies you.
476
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:04,633
Who, me?
477
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:05,633
She fancies me?
478
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,300
Gosh, well, that's wonderful!
479
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,000
I mean, wow, oh how exciting!
480
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,533
Where is she?
481
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:12,500
What are you doing?
482
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,767
BUNNY: Oh, don't
be so uptight, Meg.
483
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:16,000
I'm going to go
and talk to Ellie.
484
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,767
No, she's my lesbian.
485
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:18,700
I found her first!
486
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:24,367
I know it's early,
but we're leaving.
487
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,633
I'm taking Sara.
488
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,067
She's had way too much to drink.
489
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,633
She's a bit upset.
490
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:30,933
Why? because you stopped her
getting off with a footballer?
491
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:34,000
She's just drunk.
492
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,400
And being stick into
her 600-pound handbag.
493
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,033
Bunny!
494
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:55,033
What are you doing?
495
00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,500
Grinding.
496
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,867
Well, I'm being ground.
497
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:02,233
[techno music playing]
498
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,367
[burlesque music playing]
499
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:08,700
[techno music playing]
500
00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:15,400
[burlesque music playing]
501
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,167
Meg, I thought we
talked about this.
502
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:19,700
I don't fancy you, sorry.
503
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,200
Yes, and I'm not a lesbian.
504
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,500
These are totally
platonic slut drops.
505
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,067
[techno music playing]
506
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,467
[burlesque music playing]
507
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,000
[techno music playing]
508
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,800
OK, this looks bad.
509
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,600
I bought you wine.
510
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,500
You prick!
511
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,000
Get off me!
512
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,700
You've got five seconds
to get your fucking
513
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,667
clothes on and get out of this
place before I call the police.
514
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:05,033
I'm better fit than her.
515
00:21:09,933 --> 00:21:11,900
Have you seen my Gary?
516
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,567
He decked that City knob, bam!
517
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:15,833
That City knob you
were getting off with?
518
00:21:15,933 --> 00:21:17,667
How fit did Gary
look, when the bouncer
519
00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,033
had him in a choke hold?
520
00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,933
Yeah, fit in a sort of
squealing, dribbling way.
521
00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:23,600
GARY: What the fuck
was going on in there?
522
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,633
Gary, shut up and tongue
me, you sexy bastard.
523
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,600
Meg, have you seen Bunny?
524
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:41,900
Oh, she's over there,
showing her disregard
525
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,767
for the social
conventions of dating.
526
00:21:44,867 --> 00:21:46,200
Hot.
527
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,033
I am so up for this.
528
00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:01,700
Hey, Meg.
529
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,700
What say we--
530
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,633
Eat shit.
531
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,733
He's a fast footballer.
532
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:10,667
Laura.
533
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,567
Fuck, again!
534
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,567
Oh, Gary!
535
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
BUNNY: I love
friend night stands.
536
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,200
Mm, bit more than a friend.
537
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,767
Guys, I'm completely straight.
538
00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:29,033
We saw you snogging in there.
539
00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:30,733
Friends kiss, so what?
540
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,000
Do it all the time.
541
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,067
Since when?
542
00:22:33,167 --> 00:22:35,133
Since boarding school.
543
00:22:35,233 --> 00:22:36,033
Nothing happened.
544
00:22:36,133 --> 00:22:37,833
It was just rubbies.
545
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,400
What's rubbies?
546
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:41,667
Oh, actually, I
don't want to know.
547
00:22:41,767 --> 00:22:43,167
It's no big deal.
548
00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,633
And like I said to her,
I'm more into the taking
549
00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:46,733
than the giving.
550
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,367
Oh, like Christmas.
551
00:22:50,467 --> 00:22:52,767
[theme music]
552
00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:18,067
Too.
35949
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