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Dwight: Here's pretty much
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everything you need to know.
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- The tavern is closed.
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- Health code violation.
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Gretta: For one case
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of the plague?
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Who's running the tavern now?
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- Welcome to my tavern.
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[exhale]
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You give the good smell,
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the bubbles,
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they go into your nose,
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it's very--
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Ah! More customers.
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Dwight: Hey Jacopo.
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You seen Gretta?
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We're supposed to meet her
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here for lunch.
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- Our lunches are
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the finest in the land.
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All: [cheering]
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- Why are you still here?
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Where's Hellibad?
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- He has fled from the IRF.
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- IRS.
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- Eh, no.
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- I have a plan!
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- [clears throat]
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- I'm happy for you, man.
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And super impressed.
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Owning your own business,
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it takes grit and guts
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and hard work and...
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Woman: Here's the cash.
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Jacopo: Oh.
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Dwight: Cash?
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- Bravo!
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My angel ladies.
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[mwah, mwah]
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Ah.
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[mwah, mwah]
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[sigh]
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[mwah, mwah]
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Ah.
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Dwight: Mrs. Brinkelhurst.
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Mrs. Walton.
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Mrs. Tenney.
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- All of you know
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each other?
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Dwight: From
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Nana's fitness class
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at the senior center.
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Mrs. Tenney:
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How's business, partner?
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Jacopo: [chuckles] Bene.
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Bene!
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All: [cheering]
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- We can't stay.
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Mrs. Tenney: We've got
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Jazzercise in 20 minutes.
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Mrs. Walton: Oh, remember,
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our shareholders meeting
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is Friday at 4.
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Dwight: Shareholders.
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Mrs. Walton: I'm bringing
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fruit kebabs.
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- Perfetto, my dear ones.
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Addio.
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[mwah]
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Dwight: Hm.
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Jacopo: [laughs]
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[sigh of relief]
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- Tell me
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if I've got this right?
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You bought this tavern
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with the money you took
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from a bunch
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of little old ladies?
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- The savings
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of their entire lives.
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- Which you sunk
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into this greasy,
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medieval tavern?
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Jacopo: Corretto.
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Mrs. Walton: Oh,
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break a leg today.
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Jacopo: [chuckles]
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- What's today?
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- [sniffs deeply then sighs]
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Dwight: Thanks.
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By entering this venue,
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you consent to be filmed
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by the Woodside Food Network.
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The Woodside Food Network
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is coming here?
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- Si.
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At this very moment.
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Come, and meet
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the Signore Nick Reeves.
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Dwight: Did you say
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Nick Reeves?
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Jacopo: Si!
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Ha, ha!
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- Jacopo.
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Nick Reeves is the most
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respected restaurant critic
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in Woodside.
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Jacopo: Si.
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Dwight: One bad review
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and those little old ladies
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could lose their life savings.
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Jacopo: But whyever should
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the review be bad, eh?
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No more plague in my tavern!
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Have no fear, peasants!
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- Oh, wow.
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- Eh, what's amiss?
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- It's Nick Reeves.
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Jacopo: Ah, ha ha.
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Signore Nick Reeves.
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Dwight: No!
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Okay, so
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about a thousand years ago,
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there was this princess, Gretta.
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And she was in big trouble,
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'cause she had lots of enemies
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and not a lot of friends.
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So her court magician, Baldric
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cast the champion spell.
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It put everyone in the woods
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to sleep
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until a champion would come,
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break the spell with his kiss
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and deal
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with Gretta's big scary enemies.
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But that guy never showed up...
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instead...
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[crash]
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[kiss]
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they got me.
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Ah!
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♪
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Ow!
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♪
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[upbeat modern music]
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- Welcome to Forks Up!
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brought to you
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by the Woodside Food Network.
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I'm your host, Nick Reeves,
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and here we are
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at the grand reopening
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of the Swine and Slosh Tavern.
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A quaint and cozy restaurant
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with old world decor
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and an eccentric menu.
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I'm here
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with the tavern's new owner,
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Jacobo Troubadour.
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Jacopo: Uh, Jacopo, noble sir.
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And I am no longer a troubadour.
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Dwight: And I'm Dwight.
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[light chuckle]
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I represent the investors.
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This is a big day for them.
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For all of us,
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for the Swine and Slosh Tavern,
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and for Woodside.
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The Swine and Slosh Tavern.
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You can get your swine
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and your slosh?
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Nick: So, Jacopo,
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what gives
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the Swine and Slosh Tavern
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its unique character?
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- It has no more plague.
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The plague, she has
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[breathy sounds]
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all gone away.
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Dwight: And, this is a place
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where everybody
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from everywhere is welcome.
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[laughs]
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[distant coughing]
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Jacopo: No! No!
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Not you!
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You bring the disease!
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Ha!
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He!
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Hi!
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Ah-ha-ha!
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- We're very pro-hygiene,
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uh, the previous owner had
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a very small, minor
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health code violation,
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way back when.
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- The cook died
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of the rat plague.
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It was a tragic loss.
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He made the best kidney pie
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in the kingdom.
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Jacopo: I have taken
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measures, si?
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We check the tongues.
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We burn the incense.
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Oh.
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[jangling]
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- And, oh,
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come, come, come, come.
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Ha, yes.
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Every leper
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must wear a bell, huh?
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[loud bell]
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- That's actually,
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if you think about it,
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not a bad idea.
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[bell continues]
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Chlodwig: Hear ye, one and all!
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What men among you have
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the courage to join me in battle
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against the tyrannous knights
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of the IRF?
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- He means the IRS.
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Chlodwig: For glory!
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For honor!
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Yes, Hellibad was a ruthless,
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and cruel and vicious,
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but at least he wasn't
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a lute-plucking, scullion.
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Dwight: More to see inside,
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come on.
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Let's go.
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[nervous laugh]
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Yeah, this way.
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This is where the real,
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this is the place
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that we're going to.
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Jacopo: Come.
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Come inside,
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Signore Nick Reeves.
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Say goodbye
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to the angry lunatic.
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[laughs]
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He has the plague.
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- I don't have the plague.
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- Then what has disfigured
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your face so horribly?
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- Welcome
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to the Swine and the Slosh!
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All: [cheering]
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- I have always dreamed
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of having my own tavern.
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Well, that is not so true.
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My heart's dream is to be
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king of the realm and rule
255
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with the iron fist
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of justice.
257
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But until that day,
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having a tavern is not so bad.
259
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,183
Nick: Wow!
260
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This really does feel like
261
00:07:09,251 --> 00:07:13,483
stepping into a different world.
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Dwight: Right? Right?
263
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And old-timey.
264
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Baldric: Barkeep!
265
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Another soda.
266
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After a long day
267
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of seeing to the needs
268
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of Princess Gretta,
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00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:25,684
I do enjoy a pint
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of orange soda,
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perhaps it's the tickly bubbles
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up the nose,
273
00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,383
or the pleasantly fruity burps,
274
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,183
or perhaps it's the...
275
00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:35,884
- It's the high fructose
276
00:07:33,251 --> 00:07:35,884
corn syrup..
277
00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:37,850
Jacopo: This is Andirk.
278
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:39,083
All: Andrus!
279
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,650
Jacopo: And this is Ilka.
280
00:07:40,717 --> 00:07:41,750
All: Ilka!
281
00:07:41,817 --> 00:07:43,884
Jacopo: And this is Baldric.
282
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:44,817
All: Baldric!
283
00:07:44,884 --> 00:07:46,083
Jacopo: And this is my good
284
00:07:44,885 --> 00:07:46,083
fr--
285
00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:49,917
Hexela: Hexela's concentrated
286
00:07:46,151 --> 00:07:49,917
age-reversing serum.
287
00:07:49,984 --> 00:07:53,717
All: Hexela's
288
00:07:49,985 --> 00:07:53,717
concen..trated..age...
289
00:07:53,784 --> 00:07:56,417
- The Swine and Slosh Tavern
290
00:07:53,785 --> 00:07:56,417
is just a hop and skip
291
00:07:56,483 --> 00:08:00,183
from my salon,
292
00:07:56,484 --> 00:08:00,183
Hexela's lotions and potions.
293
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,684
Where my products
294
00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:02,684
are guaranteed
295
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,650
to make you less old.
296
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:07,283
And less ugly.
297
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,283
Jacopo: Shoo, off, shoo, shoo.
298
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:12,483
- Shoo me again, sir,
299
00:08:09,351 --> 00:08:12,483
and you'll wake up a CABBAGE!
300
00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,817
Nick: Did she say cabbage?
301
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:14,283
Dwight: Did she?
302
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:15,483
I missed it.
303
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,216
Um, oh, whoa, watch it.
304
00:08:17,283 --> 00:08:18,050
Bodies all over.
305
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:18,884
[nervous chuckle]
306
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,250
How about a tour
307
00:08:18,951 --> 00:08:20,250
of the kitchen, huh?
308
00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:20,817
Jacopo: [nervous yelps]
309
00:08:20,884 --> 00:08:21,450
Dwight: Right this way.
310
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:22,617
Jacopo: The kitchen, come.
311
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:25,417
Dwight: Come on, this is
312
00:08:22,685 --> 00:08:25,417
where the real magic happens.
313
00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:27,183
Jacopo: Uh, si.
314
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,350
The magic.
315
00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:33,917
[chickens bocking,
316
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:33,917
wings flapping]
317
00:08:33,984 --> 00:08:38,417
- Where are--
318
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:39,717
Are we in the parking lot?
319
00:08:39,784 --> 00:08:45,250
[truck rattling]
320
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,450
Jacopo: What a smell, eh?
321
00:08:47,517 --> 00:08:48,583
[sighs happily]
322
00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:53,150
Dwight: The menu follows
323
00:08:48,651 --> 00:08:53,150
a basically paleo diet
324
00:08:53,216 --> 00:08:57,250
with simple ingredients
325
00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:57,250
that you can pronounce like,
326
00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:58,483
um...
327
00:08:58,550 --> 00:08:59,684
Jacopo: Squirrels...
328
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:00,850
pigeons...
329
00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:04,150
a woodchuck.
330
00:09:04,216 --> 00:09:05,116
- Just kidding!
331
00:09:05,183 --> 00:09:06,216
[nervous chuckle]
332
00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:09,316
It's not actually a,
333
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:09,316
a real woodchuck in there.
334
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,483
Holy moly!
335
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:15,083
Jacopo: You see this pot
336
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,083
for the stew.
337
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,283
- Yeah.
338
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:21,216
Jacopo: This pot is filled
339
00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:21,216
with the flavors of the ages.
340
00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:26,016
It has not been washed
341
00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:26,016
since 952.
342
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:26,583
Eh?
343
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,717
Dwight: This morning.
344
00:09:28,784 --> 00:09:31,884
9:52, this morning.
345
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:35,417
We take our food handling
346
00:09:31,951 --> 00:09:35,417
very, very seriously.
347
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:36,984
Jacopo: Assolutamente.
348
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,150
You see here.
349
00:09:38,216 --> 00:09:41,450
Huh?
350
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:42,350
Eh?
351
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:45,550
Ha, ha!
352
00:09:45,617 --> 00:09:46,917
Dwight: We're very proud
353
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,917
of that.
354
00:09:46,984 --> 00:09:47,850
- Si.
355
00:09:47,917 --> 00:09:48,684
Nick: Well.
356
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,016
You guys seem
357
00:09:48,751 --> 00:09:50,016
to be bringing back
358
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:52,517
some old school
359
00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:52,517
cooking techniques.
360
00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:54,850
- By a chef
361
00:09:52,584 --> 00:09:54,850
with a genuine passion
362
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:55,884
for cooking.
363
00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:57,050
Ogre: [humming to himself]
364
00:09:57,116 --> 00:09:58,350
[cat meows]
365
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:00,417
Jacopo: Ah, my cook!
366
00:10:00,483 --> 00:10:02,150
You must meet him.
367
00:10:02,216 --> 00:10:04,050
Signore Nick Reeves.
368
00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:04,617
[cat meows]
369
00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:05,450
Come, come!
370
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:05,850
Dwight: No, no, no...
371
00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:06,316
no.
372
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:07,417
Uh.
373
00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:10,316
Jacopo: He is Eberulf the Ogre.
374
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:11,383
- [hiss]
375
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:12,583
Dwight: Eberulf?
376
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,216
Nick: The ogre?
377
00:10:14,283 --> 00:10:15,183
Dwight: Yeah.
378
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:17,483
Yeah, we just,
379
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,483
we like to give him a hard time
380
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,483
'cause he's kind of
381
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:21,483
a grumpy ogre of a guy.
382
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,750
[fake laughs]
383
00:10:22,817 --> 00:10:26,650
Hey Eberulf, why you gotta be
384
00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:26,650
such an ogre all the time, man?
385
00:10:26,717 --> 00:10:28,817
[nervous chuckle]
386
00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:31,350
Ogre: [growls]
387
00:10:31,417 --> 00:10:32,050
Dwight: [screams]
388
00:10:32,116 --> 00:10:33,083
Ogre: [growls]
389
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:34,383
Dwight: Ah!
390
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:35,417
Oof!
391
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:36,950
[groans]
392
00:10:37,016 --> 00:10:37,784
Ogre: [growls]
393
00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:38,450
Jacopo: [laughs]
394
00:10:38,517 --> 00:10:39,316
- [laughs]
395
00:10:39,383 --> 00:10:41,383
Eberulf, what a character
396
00:10:39,384 --> 00:10:41,383
that guy.
397
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:43,950
Man, he's uh, he's
398
00:10:41,451 --> 00:10:43,950
uh, he's the best.
399
00:10:44,016 --> 00:10:45,250
Ah.
400
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:48,950
Nick: So uh,
401
00:10:45,317 --> 00:10:48,950
whatcha cooking up, chef?
402
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:58,984
Ogre: [imitates chicken
403
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:58,984
in distress]
404
00:10:59,884 --> 00:11:01,183
- He's uh, he's
405
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:02,817
[breathing heavily]
406
00:11:02,884 --> 00:11:05,016
Flemish.
407
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:05,583
- Ah!
408
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:06,617
There you are fellows.
409
00:11:06,684 --> 00:11:09,817
- Oh, hey Gretta.
410
00:11:09,884 --> 00:11:13,684
- [growls]
411
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:14,250
[shink]
412
00:11:14,316 --> 00:11:14,717
- Hya.
413
00:11:14,784 --> 00:11:15,917
Ogre: [bellows]
414
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:19,083
[fighting sounds]
415
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:22,583
Jacopo: [laughs]
416
00:11:19,151 --> 00:11:22,583
'Tis a simple quarrel.
417
00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:26,116
The ogre wishes
418
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:26,116
to cook the princess,
419
00:11:26,183 --> 00:11:30,684
and the princess wishes
420
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:30,684
not to be cooked.
421
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:31,583
- Prinducken.
422
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,083
'Tis an ogre delicacy.
423
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,650
A chicken, stuffed in a duck,
424
00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:37,850
stuffed in a princess.
425
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:42,417
[fighting sounds]
426
00:11:42,483 --> 00:11:45,617
Jacopo: It will end
427
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:45,617
in disappointment
428
00:11:45,684 --> 00:11:46,984
for one of them.
429
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:54,784
[fighting sounds continue]
430
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:59,383
- They're just uh,
431
00:11:54,851 --> 00:11:59,383
practicing for the um,
432
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:02,283
tavern brawl dinner show.
433
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:04,383
Jacopo: Scusa me?
434
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:04,950
[clang]
435
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:05,917
Dwight: Yes!
436
00:12:05,984 --> 00:12:07,950
The tavern brawl dinner show.
437
00:12:08,016 --> 00:12:08,650
Gretta: [grunt]
438
00:12:08,717 --> 00:12:09,417
[clang]
439
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:10,350
Dwight: Oh, come on, Nick,
440
00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:12,583
uh how about
441
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,583
we just go this way.
442
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,617
No spoilers,
443
00:12:12,651 --> 00:12:14,617
that's just a sneak peek.
444
00:12:14,684 --> 00:12:15,750
Get ready
445
00:12:14,685 --> 00:12:15,750
for the full thing.
446
00:12:15,817 --> 00:12:17,717
Let's go, you don't want--
447
00:12:17,784 --> 00:12:18,784
- [roars]
448
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:22,550
Jacopo: Your table is ready,
449
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:22,550
Signore Nick Reeves.
450
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:23,350
Ah,
451
00:12:23,417 --> 00:12:24,150
[mwah]
452
00:12:24,216 --> 00:12:25,950
[sighs]
453
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:26,750
Nick: Grazie.
454
00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:27,483
Jacopo: Prego.
455
00:12:27,550 --> 00:12:29,116
Ah, your Italian is bene.
456
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,250
Nick: [chuckles]
457
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,483
Eh, who's that guy?
458
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,450
Jacopo: [happy sigh]
459
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,216
Barber: Anson Swift,
460
00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:36,216
Barber Surgeon.
461
00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:37,550
I visit the tavern
462
00:12:36,284 --> 00:12:37,550
every Thursday
463
00:12:37,617 --> 00:12:40,717
from midday to sundown
464
00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:40,717
to offer my services.
465
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:42,817
Baldric: Well, I've been going
466
00:12:40,785 --> 00:12:42,817
to Anson Swift for years.
467
00:12:42,884 --> 00:12:47,316
I will allow no one else
468
00:12:42,885 --> 00:12:47,316
to touch this hair,
469
00:12:47,383 --> 00:12:50,583
or this beard.
470
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:54,116
Anson: I cut hair
471
00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:54,116
and shave beards.
472
00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:55,350
[pleasant chuckle]
473
00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:59,950
Also apply leeches,
474
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:59,950
when necessary.
475
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:05,450
And, who here
476
00:13:00,084 --> 00:13:05,450
needs a tooth pulled?
477
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,183
Sundry Patrons: Here!
478
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,984
Right here!
479
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:10,550
[clink, clink]
480
00:13:10,617 --> 00:13:12,250
Anson: [pleasant laugh]
481
00:13:12,316 --> 00:13:14,583
- Think of him
482
00:13:12,317 --> 00:13:14,583
like a one stop shop
483
00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:19,817
for all
484
00:13:14,651 --> 00:13:19,817
your physical maintenance.
485
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:21,817
Dwight: What'll you have, Nick?
486
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,283
- Uh, so
487
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,283
these are my choices?
488
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:24,784
Dwight: No.
489
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:25,884
Jacopo: Si.
490
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:30,050
Dwight: These are just
491
00:13:25,951 --> 00:13:30,050
the options for,
492
00:13:30,116 --> 00:13:32,917
for the shape of your pot pie.
493
00:13:32,984 --> 00:13:36,116
We have a squirrel-shaped,
494
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,116
uh, the classic pigeon-shaped,
495
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:39,483
and woodchuck shape,
496
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:43,050
and uh, we broke
497
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:43,050
our cat-shaped pie pan,
498
00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:47,016
so you know, hard times.
499
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:49,283
- Okay, I'm going to go
500
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:53,283
with the
501
00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:53,283
woodchuck-shaped potpie.
502
00:13:53,350 --> 00:14:00,817
Jacopo: Ah, it will be done,
503
00:13:53,351 --> 00:14:00,817
immediatamente, Signore.
504
00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,884
- [pained groans]
505
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,483
[loud relieved sighs]
506
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:09,083
Gretta: [grunting with effort]
507
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:11,784
Jacopo: What is the potty pie?
508
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:12,917
Dwight: It's not a potty pie,
509
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:15,884
it's a pot, I,
510
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,884
I'm sure Eberulf can--
511
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:16,917
Ah man!
512
00:14:16,984 --> 00:14:17,817
Gretta: [yell]
513
00:14:17,884 --> 00:14:18,250
Dwight: Hey!
514
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,050
Time out!
515
00:14:19,116 --> 00:14:19,383
Don't!
516
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:19,717
Stop!
517
00:14:19,784 --> 00:14:21,216
I--Uh--
518
00:14:21,283 --> 00:14:22,316
Knock it off!
519
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:22,884
You two,
520
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:23,417
Ogre: [growls]
521
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:25,784
Dwight: Get.. over.
522
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,016
- You may fight
523
00:14:25,851 --> 00:14:27,016
all you wish
524
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:32,550
after the closing time, for now,
525
00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:32,550
you must make the potty pie.
526
00:14:32,617 --> 00:14:33,183
Dwight: Pot pie.
527
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:34,050
Jacopo: Yes!
528
00:14:34,116 --> 00:14:38,517
Shaped into the figure
529
00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:38,517
of a woodchuck.
530
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:40,850
- Hoo!
531
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,283
Dwight: Okay, all right.
532
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:42,817
We're good.
533
00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:43,517
We're all right.
534
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,083
How can we, uh, how can we help?
535
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:49,183
Chef, how can we help?
536
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,817
Okay, come on, Gretta.
537
00:14:50,884 --> 00:14:52,050
All hands on deck.
538
00:14:52,116 --> 00:14:54,583
- This ogre
539
00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:54,583
can chop his own turnips.
540
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:58,750
- [growl]
541
00:14:58,817 --> 00:14:59,650
Dwight: [clears throat]
542
00:14:59,717 --> 00:15:00,950
- [high-pitched growl]
543
00:15:01,016 --> 00:15:02,784
- [very low growl]
544
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:04,250
Dwight: [forced cheerfulness]
545
00:15:02,851 --> 00:15:04,250
This is not the time
546
00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:05,350
for petty grudges.
547
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:06,984
Gretta: Petty?
548
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:08,116
- Get chopping.
549
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:10,450
Nick Reeves wants a pot pie
550
00:15:08,184 --> 00:15:10,450
shaped like a woodchuck.
551
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:11,717
Gretta: A, a what?
552
00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:13,684
Dwight: We need to put
553
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,684
our differences aside
554
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:14,884
and pull together
555
00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:17,784
or those little old ladies
556
00:15:14,951 --> 00:15:17,784
are gonna be out on the street.
557
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,016
And this place will go
558
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,016
out of business
559
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,116
by the end of the month
560
00:15:21,183 --> 00:15:22,850
and then where will you get
561
00:15:21,184 --> 00:15:22,850
your squirrel pudding
562
00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:25,216
and your pigeon muffins
563
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:27,817
and your, your uh,
564
00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:27,817
cat kidney puffs?
565
00:15:27,884 --> 00:15:29,183
Gretta: I do like those.
566
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,884
Dwight: Come on.
567
00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:33,083
All right, we got this.
568
00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:36,116
Jacopo, you go entertain
569
00:15:33,151 --> 00:15:36,116
Nick Reeves.
570
00:15:36,183 --> 00:15:37,150
Jacopo: Si.
571
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:41,717
I, I know just
572
00:15:37,217 --> 00:15:41,717
the entertainment.
573
00:15:41,784 --> 00:15:43,116
- [mocking] Uh, uh, uh, uh.
574
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:47,750
- The Swine and Slosh
575
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:47,750
is my most favorite tavern,
576
00:15:47,817 --> 00:15:53,350
and Jacopo the Troubadour
577
00:15:47,818 --> 00:15:53,350
is my least favorite fellow,
578
00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:55,283
therefore I am on a quest
579
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:56,750
to defeat the knights
580
00:15:55,351 --> 00:15:56,750
of the IR--
581
00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:58,050
[thump]
582
00:15:58,116 --> 00:16:01,150
- Over there, that is
583
00:15:58,117 --> 00:16:01,150
where Agnet of Troll Tower
584
00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:04,750
finally married Edenberry Elf.
585
00:16:04,817 --> 00:16:06,083
Nick: Huh, ha.
586
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:06,984
Edenberry Elf.
587
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:07,550
Baldric: Yeah.
588
00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:08,784
Oh, back there,
589
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,684
that is where
590
00:16:08,851 --> 00:16:11,684
a cannibal baker tried
591
00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:12,517
[laughs]
592
00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:15,817
making Princess Gretta
593
00:16:12,584 --> 00:16:15,817
into a pie.
594
00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:19,383
[laughs loudly]
595
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,350
Oh, and right over here,
596
00:16:19,451 --> 00:16:23,350
this is the spot where I--
597
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:33,383
- ♪ Hexela's concentrated
598
00:16:23,418 --> 00:16:33,383
age-reversing seruuuum-- ♪
599
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:34,684
[screams]
600
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:35,884
Jacopo: I told you not now,
601
00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:35,884
witch.
602
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:38,283
You disturb
603
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:38,283
the Signore Nick Reeves.
604
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,083
Nick: No, I'm good,
605
00:16:38,351 --> 00:16:40,083
I'm not disturbed.
606
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:40,917
Hexela: Oh.
607
00:16:40,984 --> 00:16:42,283
Jacopo: Oh,
608
00:16:40,985 --> 00:16:42,283
but say the word Signore
609
00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:44,650
and we burn the witch.
610
00:16:44,717 --> 00:16:47,283
Hexela: Oh, well,
611
00:16:44,718 --> 00:16:47,283
I'd love to see you try.
612
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:48,383
Jacopo: It will take
613
00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:48,383
but a match.
614
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:49,483
Dwight: Drop it!
615
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,050
Hexela: [angry huff]
616
00:16:50,116 --> 00:16:51,283
Baldric: Hexela! Hexela!
617
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,517
Jacopo: Where is the potty pie?
618
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:53,850
Dwight: We need more time.
619
00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:54,550
Jacopo: [indistinct]
620
00:16:54,617 --> 00:16:56,450
- Almost ready,
621
00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,450
Mr. Reeves.
622
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,016
[nervous chuckle]
623
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:57,684
Don't you worry.
624
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,150
You just, you hang in there.
625
00:17:00,216 --> 00:17:03,283
Stall him.
626
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:04,316
- Come.
627
00:17:04,383 --> 00:17:10,383
Come.
628
00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:15,283
And now, we throw the knives!
629
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:25,316
All: [cheering]
630
00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:29,016
- Chlodwig!
631
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:32,517
It's, it's really actually way,
632
00:17:29,084 --> 00:17:32,517
way safer than it looks.
633
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:36,316
[cheering]
634
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:38,150
Dwight: Oh.
635
00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:39,750
Okay,
636
00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:39,750
let's just talk about this.
637
00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:40,450
Okay.
638
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:41,817
Jacopo: This tavern is not only
639
00:17:41,884 --> 00:17:44,150
for the food
640
00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:44,150
and the bubbly Shasta.
641
00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:45,350
- Hey can
642
00:17:44,217 --> 00:17:45,350
you just, uh,
643
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:45,717
go,
644
00:17:45,784 --> 00:17:46,150
over,
645
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:46,684
oh.
646
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:47,250
- [yells]
647
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,350
All: [cheering]
648
00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:49,650
Jacopo: It's also
649
00:17:48,418 --> 00:17:49,650
for the entertainment
650
00:17:49,717 --> 00:17:51,550
for the whole family.
651
00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:54,383
Bring the kids,
652
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:54,383
everybody has a good time.
653
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:55,417
- Wait, wait, wait.
654
00:17:55,483 --> 00:17:56,316
[yells]
655
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:57,483
- [yells]
656
00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:00,183
Jacopo: [cheers]
657
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:00,984
Dwight: Oh no,
658
00:18:01,050 --> 00:18:02,884
is someone stealing
659
00:18:01,051 --> 00:18:02,884
the guys horse
660
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:05,083
that's spinning the wheel?
661
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,250
- Get me down!
662
00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:08,583
- I give my people
663
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,583
what they want.
664
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:10,016
- Where's my sword?
665
00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:10,450
[growls]
666
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:10,884
- Hey!
667
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:11,750
Hey, hey!
668
00:18:11,817 --> 00:18:13,350
Jacopo: And my people
669
00:18:11,818 --> 00:18:13,350
they love me.
670
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:13,850
[thwap]
671
00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:19,083
Jacopo: Ah!
672
00:18:19,150 --> 00:18:21,050
Dwight: Nick, I am so sorry,
673
00:18:19,151 --> 00:18:21,050
don't worry about them.
674
00:18:21,116 --> 00:18:22,984
They used to like
675
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:22,984
the same girl, and...
676
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:24,350
Nick: Is the show starting?
677
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:25,650
Dwight: The show?
678
00:18:25,717 --> 00:18:27,150
Nick: The tavern brawl
679
00:18:25,718 --> 00:18:27,150
dinner show.
680
00:18:27,216 --> 00:18:28,917
Jacopo: [groan]
681
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,984
Dwight: Yep.
682
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:33,216
No flash photography please.
683
00:18:33,283 --> 00:18:35,583
Jacopo: Yah!
684
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,750
[thump]
685
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,016
Chlodwig: Yah!
686
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:41,150
All: [cheering]
687
00:18:41,216 --> 00:18:42,216
Jacopo: [growls]
688
00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:43,383
[thump]
689
00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:44,984
[cheering]
690
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:46,950
[thump]
691
00:18:47,016 --> 00:18:49,150
Jacopo: [yell]
692
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:50,617
[crash]
693
00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:55,450
[cheering]
694
00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:56,016
Dwight: Good show!
695
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,550
Yeah.
696
00:18:57,617 --> 00:19:00,150
- Whoa, bravo!
697
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:01,417
Wow.
698
00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:02,850
De.
699
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:04,884
- I know how you feel, Nick.
700
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:05,850
- You do?
701
00:19:05,917 --> 00:19:09,250
- Like time is marching
702
00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:09,250
relentlessly on
703
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:15,417
leaving you every day older
704
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:15,417
and older and...
705
00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:16,650
- Uh.
706
00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:18,650
- Older.
707
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:19,817
Nick: [exhales] Well.
708
00:19:19,884 --> 00:19:24,750
Hexela: Your youth fading
709
00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:24,750
like a distant happy memory.
710
00:19:24,817 --> 00:19:26,617
Nick: Oh,
711
00:19:24,818 --> 00:19:26,617
I guess maybe sometimes--
712
00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:28,250
- Shhh!
713
00:19:28,316 --> 00:19:30,483
[tsking]
714
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:35,517
I have the remedy.
715
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:39,517
[breathy sound and gasp]
716
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:43,917
Hexela's concentrated
717
00:19:39,584 --> 00:19:43,917
age-reversing serum.
718
00:19:43,984 --> 00:19:47,517
See results
719
00:19:43,985 --> 00:19:47,517
in just one teensy sip.
720
00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:48,550
Jacopo: Go, go, go!
721
00:19:48,617 --> 00:19:49,483
Hexela: [scream]
722
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:52,917
Jacopo: Witch,
723
00:19:49,551 --> 00:19:52,917
or I will light the stick.
724
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:57,150
Hexela: [growls]
725
00:19:57,216 --> 00:20:02,684
- Is that cinnamon?
726
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,984
- Hexela's concentrated
727
00:20:02,751 --> 00:20:05,984
age-reversing serum
728
00:20:06,050 --> 00:20:09,784
is distilled for potency.
729
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,316
One bottle should,
730
00:20:11,383 --> 00:20:16,517
well, if used correctly,
731
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:16,517
last an entire lifetime.
732
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,817
[thunk]
733
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:18,950
[explosion]
734
00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:23,050
[puff]
735
00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:24,850
- I have the potty pie.
736
00:20:24,917 --> 00:20:28,016
Dwight: Pot pie.
737
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:30,483
Jacopo: Where is
738
00:20:28,084 --> 00:20:30,483
the Signore Nick Reeves?
739
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:39,383
Dwight: He was right here.
740
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:42,050
Nick: I can give.
741
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:42,917
Hexela: [tsking]
742
00:20:42,984 --> 00:20:43,950
Gretta: [gasp]
743
00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:46,817
- Oh Nick.
744
00:20:46,884 --> 00:20:49,750
Nick: No, go, look, look.
745
00:20:49,817 --> 00:20:55,917
Dwight: [nervous chuckles]
746
00:20:55,984 --> 00:20:56,817
Dwight: Nick.
747
00:20:56,884 --> 00:20:57,684
Nick: Yeah.
748
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:58,750
[indistinct]
749
00:20:58,817 --> 00:21:02,417
Hexela: Give me that,
750
00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:02,417
you naughty wittle tease.
751
00:21:02,483 --> 00:21:04,050
Jacopo: Nick Reeves?
752
00:21:04,116 --> 00:21:05,016
Hexela: Did you drink
753
00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:06,817
too much concentrated
754
00:21:05,084 --> 00:21:06,817
age-reversing serum,
755
00:21:06,884 --> 00:21:07,684
yes, you did.
756
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:09,917
Jacopo: For this
757
00:21:07,751 --> 00:21:09,917
we burn the witch.
758
00:21:09,984 --> 00:21:11,350
Gretta: That shall not be
759
00:21:09,985 --> 00:21:11,350
helpful.
760
00:21:11,417 --> 00:21:13,417
How do we reverse
761
00:21:11,418 --> 00:21:13,417
the reversing spell?
762
00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:14,717
Hexela: Uh, we wait.
763
00:21:14,784 --> 00:21:15,884
Dwight: How long?
764
00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:17,016
Hexela: About 60 years.
765
00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:19,417
Jacopo: Gkk.
766
00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:27,016
This is my little godson,
767
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:27,016
Dolmitzio.
768
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:28,617
Nick: Mitzibo.
769
00:21:28,684 --> 00:21:30,083
Jacopo: Dolmitzio.
770
00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:31,884
Dwight: My nephew...
771
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,083
Nick: [whispers] Good job.
772
00:21:33,150 --> 00:21:35,216
Dwight: George.
773
00:21:35,283 --> 00:21:37,950
Gretta: Just an orphan
774
00:21:35,284 --> 00:21:37,950
we found in the gutter.
775
00:21:38,016 --> 00:21:38,650
[sniffs]
776
00:21:38,717 --> 00:21:39,583
[gags]
777
00:21:39,650 --> 00:21:41,383
Dwight: [agitated yelps]
778
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:42,717
You gotta have some kind
779
00:21:41,451 --> 00:21:42,717
of an antidote,
780
00:21:42,784 --> 00:21:44,183
like an undo spell.
781
00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,150
Hexela: Hm, ho.
782
00:21:46,216 --> 00:21:47,083
We could try this.
783
00:21:47,150 --> 00:21:47,884
Gretta: What is it?
784
00:21:47,950 --> 00:21:50,450
Hexela: Ah, it's an undo spell.
785
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:51,750
Dwight: We could try that.
786
00:21:51,817 --> 00:21:52,550
Nick: 'Kay.
787
00:21:52,617 --> 00:21:53,450
Gretta: Okay.
788
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,350
Nick: Whoa.
789
00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:56,316
Dwight: Whoa!
790
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,083
What is that?
791
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:02,216
Over there in the place,
792
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:02,216
on the...
793
00:22:02,283 --> 00:22:05,250
[powerful whoosh]
794
00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:06,083
Dwight: Nick Reeves!
795
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:06,850
You're old again!
796
00:22:06,917 --> 00:22:07,483
I mean, you're back.
797
00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:08,583
I mean, you look good.
798
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:09,784
You look good, man.
799
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:14,116
Jacopo: Buon appetito,
800
00:22:09,851 --> 00:22:14,116
Signore.
801
00:22:14,183 --> 00:22:16,150
Nick: That looks fantastic!
802
00:22:16,216 --> 00:22:16,984
Gretta: I know.
803
00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:17,650
Jacopo: Grazie,
804
00:22:17,717 --> 00:22:19,083
not for you, Principessa.
805
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:20,417
Nick: Forks up!
806
00:22:20,483 --> 00:22:22,617
My compliments
807
00:22:20,484 --> 00:22:22,617
to Eberulf the chef,
808
00:22:22,684 --> 00:22:25,483
who in spite of being a bit
809
00:22:22,685 --> 00:22:25,483
of an ogre cooked up
810
00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:28,950
the best woodchuck-shaped
811
00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:28,950
pot pie I've ever had.
812
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:30,684
Nick and Baldric: [chuckle]
813
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,884
Nick: But you don't come
814
00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:32,884
to the Swine and Slosh Tavern
815
00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:34,650
just for the unique food,
816
00:22:34,717 --> 00:22:36,583
you come
817
00:22:34,718 --> 00:22:36,583
for an immersive experience
818
00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:37,750
that transports you
819
00:22:37,817 --> 00:22:41,684
to a fantastical,
820
00:22:37,818 --> 00:22:41,684
fairytale world.
821
00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:43,216
Jacopo the tavern owner,
822
00:22:43,283 --> 00:22:44,050
the staff,
823
00:22:44,116 --> 00:22:46,984
and even the tavern regulars,
824
00:22:47,050 --> 00:22:51,050
stick to their roles
825
00:22:47,051 --> 00:22:51,050
with delightful commitment.
826
00:22:51,116 --> 00:22:54,850
Oh, and be sure not to miss
827
00:22:51,117 --> 00:22:54,850
the tavern brawl dinner show.
828
00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:56,183
It's one of the real highlights
829
00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:58,884
of the Swine and Slosh
830
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:58,884
experience.
831
00:22:58,950 --> 00:23:01,550
This is Nick Reeves
832
00:22:58,951 --> 00:23:01,550
from the Woodside Food Network
833
00:23:01,617 --> 00:23:05,250
giving the Swine and Slosh
834
00:23:01,618 --> 00:23:05,250
Tavern two forks up!
835
00:23:05,316 --> 00:23:08,283
[cheering]
836
00:23:08,350 --> 00:23:09,417
Dwight: Unbelievable.
837
00:23:09,483 --> 00:23:12,150
[cheering continues]
838
00:23:12,216 --> 00:23:13,450
Jacopo: We win.
839
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,483
I win.
840
00:23:14,550 --> 00:23:15,350
[laughs]
841
00:23:15,417 --> 00:23:17,250
I win. I win.
842
00:23:17,316 --> 00:23:18,250
I win.
843
00:23:18,316 --> 00:23:20,216
I win. I win.
844
00:23:20,283 --> 00:23:22,316
I win.
845
00:23:22,383 --> 00:23:24,016
Ah!
846
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:25,083
♪
48844
