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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,483 --> 00:00:01,250 Dwight: 'Kay guys, 2 00:00:01,316 --> 00:00:02,016 this ought to get you 3 00:00:01,317 --> 00:00:02,016 up to speed. 4 00:00:02,083 --> 00:00:03,150 - The honor 5 00:00:02,084 --> 00:00:03,150 has fallen upon me 6 00:00:03,216 --> 00:00:06,350 to host this month's 7 00:00:03,217 --> 00:00:06,350 Guy Club assembly. 8 00:00:06,417 --> 00:00:07,750 [knock, knock, knock] 9 00:00:07,817 --> 00:00:08,617 - Am I late? 10 00:00:08,684 --> 00:00:10,183 - Exactly punctual, brother. 11 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:11,417 Do come in. 12 00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:12,917 [knocking] 13 00:00:12,984 --> 00:00:14,050 Gretta: Uncle Arnolf. 14 00:00:14,116 --> 00:00:15,650 - I have no need of you. 15 00:00:15,717 --> 00:00:16,850 [magical poof] 16 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:17,817 [magical whoosh] 17 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:18,417 Dwight: Wha-What? 18 00:00:18,483 --> 00:00:19,250 Where did they go? 19 00:00:19,316 --> 00:00:20,817 - On a journey 20 00:00:19,317 --> 00:00:20,817 through the cosmos. 21 00:00:20,884 --> 00:00:22,450 [magical poof] 22 00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,750 - Doughnut anyone? 23 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,517 - Keep these handy. 24 00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,450 You never know when 25 00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:28,450 you'll desperately want one. 26 00:00:28,517 --> 00:00:29,650 I must be off. 27 00:00:29,717 --> 00:00:32,250 - Off? 28 00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:37,150 ♪ 29 00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:42,750 Gretta: [lightly snoring] 30 00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:45,417 - Hey, 31 00:00:42,818 --> 00:00:45,417 where's Ms. Hernandez? 32 00:00:45,483 --> 00:00:50,116 Mr. Hammond: Good morning, 33 00:00:45,484 --> 00:00:50,116 history buffs. 34 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:54,283 I'm Mr. Hammond 35 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:54,283 and I'm your new teacher 36 00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,183 for this world history class. 37 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,483 Ms. Hernandez has gone 38 00:00:56,251 --> 00:00:57,483 to New York 39 00:00:57,550 --> 00:01:00,450 to chase her dream of becoming 40 00:00:57,551 --> 00:01:00,450 a puppeteer for The Muppets. 41 00:01:00,517 --> 00:01:02,316 [silence] 42 00:01:02,383 --> 00:01:03,450 Class: [soft chuckles] 43 00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:04,784 Which... 44 00:01:04,850 --> 00:01:09,150 I maybe wasn't supposed 45 00:01:04,851 --> 00:01:09,150 to tell you, so... 46 00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:11,483 that stays between you, me, 47 00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:11,483 and these four walls. 48 00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:11,850 [soft clap] 49 00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:13,650 - Yeah. 50 00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,984 Gretta: [lightly snoring] 51 00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:17,483 - Let's get right into it. 52 00:01:17,550 --> 00:01:18,650 History. 53 00:01:18,717 --> 00:01:20,283 What do we mean by that? 54 00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:26,016 We talk about history. 55 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,650 Uhh, Gretta Besieged? 56 00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:31,183 Gretta: [startled snore] 57 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,250 - Good morning, Gretta. 58 00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:33,517 Gretta: [clears throat] 59 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:36,083 - Can you tell us 60 00:01:33,584 --> 00:01:36,083 what you think history means? 61 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:36,850 Gretta: Certainly. 62 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:37,750 Uh. 63 00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:40,350 A record kept by scribes 64 00:01:37,818 --> 00:01:40,350 of a bygone time 65 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:47,483 detailing acts of valor 66 00:01:40,418 --> 00:01:47,483 or villainy. 67 00:01:47,550 --> 00:01:50,250 Mr. Hammond: Uh, 68 00:01:47,551 --> 00:01:50,250 history definition, take it. 69 00:01:50,316 --> 00:01:52,750 - Events that have 70 00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:52,750 happened in the past. 71 00:01:52,817 --> 00:01:53,650 Mr. Hammond: Okay. 72 00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:55,417 You're not wrong. 73 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,450 But what about all that stuff 74 00:01:55,484 --> 00:01:57,450 that happened in the past 75 00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,183 that nobody remembers? 76 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,450 Those forgotten things, 77 00:02:00,517 --> 00:02:03,316 which is almost everything 78 00:02:00,518 --> 00:02:03,316 actually. 79 00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:05,417 Are they still history? 80 00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:08,483 I would encourage you 81 00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:08,483 to doubt history. 82 00:02:08,550 --> 00:02:10,216 Mistrust it. 83 00:02:10,283 --> 00:02:13,383 Consider it the dirty, 84 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:13,383 rotten liar that it is. 85 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,784 'Cause history isn't a record 86 00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:19,116 of all the things 87 00:02:15,851 --> 00:02:19,116 that've happened. 88 00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:23,450 It's a story of what 89 00:02:19,184 --> 00:02:23,450 we've chosen to remember. 90 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:24,884 ♪ 91 00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:26,383 Dwight: Okay, so about 92 00:02:24,951 --> 00:02:26,383 a thousand years ago 93 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:29,216 there was this princess, Gretta, 94 00:02:26,451 --> 00:02:29,216 and she was in big trouble 95 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:34,083 'cause she had lots of enemies 96 00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:34,083 and not a lot of friends. 97 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:38,050 So her court magician Baldric 98 00:02:34,151 --> 00:02:38,050 cast the champion spell. 99 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,283 It put everyone in the woods 100 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,283 to sleep 101 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:41,250 until a champion would come, 102 00:02:39,351 --> 00:02:41,250 break the spell with his kiss, 103 00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:43,417 and deal with Gretta's big, 104 00:02:41,317 --> 00:02:43,417 scary enemies. 105 00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:45,650 But that guy never showed up. 106 00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:46,116 Instead... 107 00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:47,316 Ahhhh! 108 00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:48,050 [kiss] 109 00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:50,350 ...they got me. 110 00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:51,250 Ah! 111 00:02:51,316 --> 00:02:55,617 ♪ 112 00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:56,116 Ow! 113 00:02:56,183 --> 00:03:06,216 ♪ 114 00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:15,884 [school bell ringing] 115 00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:16,984 Mr. Hammond: Hey there Gretta. 116 00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:19,250 Um, do either of your parents 117 00:03:17,051 --> 00:03:19,250 have any flexibility 118 00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:21,150 in their schedule? 119 00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:22,483 - I shouldn't think so. 120 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:27,083 The one is dead 121 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:27,083 and the other is an oak tree. 122 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:29,817 - But her guardian 123 00:03:27,151 --> 00:03:29,817 is pretty much available 124 00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:33,150 pretty much all the time. 125 00:03:33,216 --> 00:03:34,350 - Well, um. 126 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:36,483 Please give this 127 00:03:34,418 --> 00:03:36,483 to your uh, guardian, 128 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,417 and um, let me know 129 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:40,417 if tonight would work. 130 00:03:40,483 --> 00:03:41,517 Gretta: Tonight? 131 00:03:41,583 --> 00:03:42,950 Dwight: Here it comes. 132 00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:45,483 Look, you miss school, 133 00:03:43,017 --> 00:03:45,483 you blow off homework, 134 00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,450 and you sleep through class. 135 00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:49,183 This is what you get. 136 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,583 Gretta/Baldric: 137 00:03:49,251 --> 00:03:51,583 Parent teacher conference. 138 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:52,917 Baldric: A summons of some sort. 139 00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:53,884 - Oh, he just wants 140 00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:53,884 to talk to you 141 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:56,283 about how you're doin' 142 00:03:53,951 --> 00:03:56,283 in history. 143 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:57,183 - Oh. 144 00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,984 Well why didn't he 145 00:03:57,251 --> 00:03:58,984 just say that then. 146 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:02,283 - He seeks an audience 147 00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:02,283 tonight at six of the clock. 148 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,350 - Which is actually 149 00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:04,350 pretty cool of him. 150 00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:05,817 Teachers don't get overtime. 151 00:04:05,884 --> 00:04:07,350 Gretta/Baldric: Hm. 152 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:08,517 Gretta: Ooo. 153 00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:11,016 We must be off. 154 00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:11,917 - Will there be food 155 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:14,150 at this conference 156 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,150 of barren teachers? 157 00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:15,950 Dwight: Uh, not barren teachers. 158 00:04:16,016 --> 00:04:18,083 Gretta: No, Chlodwig, 159 00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:18,083 you are not invited. 160 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:19,150 This is for Baldric and myself 161 00:04:19,216 --> 00:04:22,150 to chronicle our noble deeds 162 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,150 for posterity. 163 00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:24,350 - Wait what? 164 00:04:24,417 --> 00:04:26,583 Baldric: We have much to tell, 165 00:04:24,418 --> 00:04:26,583 Highness. 166 00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:28,583 Gretta: Don't expect us back 167 00:04:26,651 --> 00:04:28,583 before dawn. 168 00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:30,183 Baldric: [chuckling] 169 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:34,717 Ha! 170 00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:37,650 - I should probably 171 00:04:34,785 --> 00:04:37,650 give Mr. Hammond a heads-up. 172 00:04:37,717 --> 00:04:42,950 [refrigerator rattling] 173 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,417 - Did that come from...? 174 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:48,684 [refrigerator rattling] 175 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,917 - What are you guys putting 176 00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:50,917 in your fridge? 177 00:04:50,984 --> 00:04:53,183 - Only food stuffs 178 00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:53,183 and Baldric's nightgown. 179 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,650 - His what? 180 00:04:54,717 --> 00:04:57,383 Why is Baldric's nightgown 181 00:04:54,718 --> 00:04:57,383 in the fridge? 182 00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,650 [refrigerator rattling] 183 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,183 - It wants out. 184 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,350 - What does? 185 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:05,183 - Baldric's nightgown. 186 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,250 - Oh come on. 187 00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:08,784 No, there has to be 188 00:05:06,317 --> 00:05:08,784 a logical explanation for-- 189 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,784 [powerful whoosh] 190 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:18,784 [air hissing] 191 00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,417 Dronelover 99: 192 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,417 And we're back! 193 00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:23,717 All: [congratulating each other] 194 00:05:23,784 --> 00:05:25,483 Dwight: It's the Guy Club guys. 195 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:27,016 Chlodwig: Back from the cosmos. 196 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:28,850 How was your journey, brothers? 197 00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:30,984 Dronelover 99: 198 00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:30,984 Kinda all over the place. 199 00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:32,450 Dwight: How did you get back? 200 00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:33,950 - Doughnuts. 201 00:05:34,016 --> 00:05:34,650 - Huh? 202 00:05:34,717 --> 00:05:36,183 [refrigerator rattling] 203 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:46,216 [magical whoosh] 204 00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:47,483 - [disgustedly] Ughhh. 205 00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,650 - Whoa. 206 00:05:48,717 --> 00:05:49,517 Who's that? 207 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,784 Chlodwig: A dead man in a chair. 208 00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,083 - His name's Phil. 209 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,650 Dwight: Phil? 210 00:05:55,717 --> 00:05:56,717 Phil? 211 00:05:56,784 --> 00:05:58,083 Phil: [disembodied] That's me. 212 00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,917 I'm just happy to be here. 213 00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:02,150 Thug: Phil. 214 00:06:02,216 --> 00:06:04,116 That's Phil. 215 00:06:04,183 --> 00:06:06,150 Dwight: [confused mumbling] 216 00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:12,050 - Welcome to Guy Club, 217 00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:12,050 ancient Phil. 218 00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:13,050 - Hi. 219 00:06:13,116 --> 00:06:13,583 Dronelover 99: 220 00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:13,583 Not the guy in the wheelchair, 221 00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:15,483 the guy in the jar. 222 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:16,650 - Pardon? 223 00:06:16,717 --> 00:06:17,417 Phil: Right here. 224 00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:18,684 See the old guy? 225 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:20,150 See his hands? 226 00:06:20,216 --> 00:06:21,750 See the jar in his hands? 227 00:06:21,817 --> 00:06:25,183 See the good-looking gas 228 00:06:21,818 --> 00:06:25,183 in the jar? 229 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,316 Dronelover 99: That's Phil. 230 00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,817 He's a telepathic gas 231 00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:27,817 we picked up 232 00:06:27,884 --> 00:06:30,750 in a realm called Feeech. 233 00:06:30,817 --> 00:06:31,650 Dwight: Hm. 234 00:06:31,717 --> 00:06:32,750 - [startled yell] 235 00:06:32,817 --> 00:06:34,483 I have a plan. 236 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:35,250 Thug: [clears throat] 237 00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:36,550 No you don't Chlodwig. 238 00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:39,150 Dronelover 99: 239 00:06:36,618 --> 00:06:39,150 The plan is Chick-Fil-A, dude. 240 00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:40,917 Barkeep: Chicken strips! 241 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:44,083 Thug: Yeah. 242 00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:45,116 - Chlodwig? 243 00:06:45,183 --> 00:06:51,016 - Impossible. 244 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:55,650 ♪ 245 00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:57,417 Chlodwig/Old Chlodwig: 246 00:06:55,718 --> 00:06:57,417 Balderdash! 247 00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,984 Enough of this. 248 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:03,717 How dare you, sir. 249 00:07:03,784 --> 00:07:05,116 - Holy cow. 250 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,850 Chlodwig, is that really you? 251 00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:09,183 Old Chlodwig: Never doubt me. 252 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,817 Chlodwig: Look at me. 253 00:07:10,884 --> 00:07:13,183 I'm so old. 254 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,750 Phil: Mm, 108. 255 00:07:14,817 --> 00:07:15,784 - Eh? 256 00:07:15,850 --> 00:07:18,150 Speak up, you poop-noddy. 257 00:07:18,216 --> 00:07:20,817 Phil: We picked him up 258 00:07:18,217 --> 00:07:20,817 on a visit to the future realm. 259 00:07:20,884 --> 00:07:21,884 He wanted to come back 260 00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:24,984 to give a message 261 00:07:21,951 --> 00:07:24,984 to a princess and a magician. 262 00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,216 Dwight: You mean Gretta 263 00:07:25,051 --> 00:07:27,216 and Baldric? 264 00:07:27,283 --> 00:07:28,116 - Where are they? 265 00:07:28,183 --> 00:07:29,817 Dwight: At a parent teacher 266 00:07:28,184 --> 00:07:29,817 conference 267 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:30,984 with Mr. Hammond. 268 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,383 - Ohhh. 269 00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:42,250 I must tell them... 270 00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:49,083 [snoring] 271 00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,116 Dwight: So this is pretty much 272 00:07:50,184 --> 00:07:52,116 Woodside. 273 00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:53,884 Nice town, 274 00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:53,884 great place to grow up. 275 00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:55,884 Phil: So, what should I do 276 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,884 while I'm here? 277 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:57,383 Dwight: Well, really depends 278 00:07:55,951 --> 00:07:57,383 on what you're into. 279 00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:59,050 Uh, we have a lot 280 00:07:57,451 --> 00:07:59,050 of great hiking trails. 281 00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:01,050 There's a waterfall 282 00:07:59,117 --> 00:08:01,050 not too far from here. 283 00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:02,750 Chlodwig: Potato chips. 284 00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:04,650 Phil: I'm game for everything. 285 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:08,417 But time is a limiting factor. 286 00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:10,517 I don't wanna overstay 287 00:08:08,484 --> 00:08:10,517 my welcome. 288 00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:12,550 Dwight: Nah, Phil, 289 00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:12,550 we love having you here. 290 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,450 Phil: Well you say that now 291 00:08:13,517 --> 00:08:14,850 but you'll be singin' 292 00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:14,850 a different tune 293 00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:16,583 when I destroy 294 00:08:14,918 --> 00:08:16,583 all carbon-based life 295 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:19,917 on this planet. 296 00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:20,917 - Pardon? 297 00:08:20,984 --> 00:08:21,750 Phil: It'll be like 298 00:08:21,817 --> 00:08:24,183 a high-pitched 299 00:08:21,818 --> 00:08:24,183 screamy kind of tune. 300 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,784 - Why would you 301 00:08:24,251 --> 00:08:25,784 wanna do that? 302 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,016 Phil: Oh, I wouldn't. 303 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:30,450 But given the highly unusual 304 00:08:27,084 --> 00:08:30,450 atmosphere you guys have here, 305 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:34,417 my containment in this jar 306 00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:34,417 is really unstable. 307 00:08:34,483 --> 00:08:36,650 - When you say unstable... 308 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,350 Phil: Well, this is what we 309 00:08:36,718 --> 00:08:39,350 in Guy Club 310 00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:41,850 call a mayonnaise jar. 311 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,617 It wasn't really designed 312 00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:44,617 to contain something like me, 313 00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:47,684 especially not in a place 314 00:08:44,685 --> 00:08:47,684 like this. 315 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:51,150 And when I finally 316 00:08:47,751 --> 00:08:51,150 break through? 317 00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:53,283 So we should probably just hit 318 00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:53,283 the Woodside highlights 319 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:56,417 and get me back to Feeech. 320 00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:57,450 Chlodwig: You have seen all. 321 00:08:57,517 --> 00:08:58,517 Dwight: Check mark on Woodside. 322 00:08:58,583 --> 00:09:05,216 Let's get you home. 323 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,183 How do we do that? 324 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,917 Like right now? 325 00:09:07,984 --> 00:09:13,717 Phil: We need a Doughnut. 326 00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:14,917 - A doughnut? 327 00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:17,183 Phil: From the box Arnolf 328 00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:17,183 gave to Chlodwig in the cosmos. 329 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:18,950 Not you Chlodwig, the old one. 330 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:23,750 He keeps them 331 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:23,750 under his wheelie chair seat. 332 00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:26,850 Chlodwig: Where has he gone? 333 00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:29,083 Dwight: Nobody panic. 334 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:30,050 Chlodwig: [screams] 335 00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:31,717 Dwight: [short shriek] 336 00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:31,717 I said nobody panic! 337 00:09:31,784 --> 00:09:34,417 We have to find 338 00:09:31,785 --> 00:09:34,417 old Chlodwig now. 339 00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:35,583 Chlodwig: Sir Dwight. 340 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,083 You are speaking 341 00:09:35,651 --> 00:09:38,083 about a master of stealth, 342 00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,583 speed, and agility. 343 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,717 How ever are we to find 344 00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:42,717 such a man? 345 00:09:42,784 --> 00:09:44,383 - Well, we'll just have to 346 00:09:42,785 --> 00:09:44,383 find our own master of stealth, 347 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,684 speed, and agility. 348 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,884 Someone who thinks 349 00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:49,884 like Chlodwig. 350 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:52,850 Someone who plans 351 00:09:49,951 --> 00:09:52,850 like Chlodwig. 352 00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:55,016 - Mm-hm. 353 00:09:55,083 --> 00:10:01,750 - Because he is Chlodwig. 354 00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:03,517 - I have it! 355 00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:11,984 Who better to find myself 356 00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:11,984 than myself? 357 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:12,550 - Okay. 358 00:10:12,617 --> 00:10:13,617 Let's show some hustle 359 00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:17,884 before Phil cracks his jar 360 00:10:13,685 --> 00:10:17,884 and destroys the world. 361 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:21,116 Phil: Go-o-o guy club! 362 00:10:21,183 --> 00:10:28,483 Old Chlodwig: [panting] 363 00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:30,016 Woman: Sir? 364 00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:31,083 Are you okay? 365 00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:34,116 - Where is 366 00:10:31,151 --> 00:10:34,116 the barren teacher conference? 367 00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:34,817 - The what? 368 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,316 - The barren teacher conference. 369 00:10:37,383 --> 00:10:39,183 They've gone to meet 370 00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:39,183 with Mr. Hammond. 371 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,717 - You mean 372 00:10:39,251 --> 00:10:40,717 the parent teacher conference? 373 00:10:40,784 --> 00:10:41,617 Old Chlodwig: Yeah, that's it. 374 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,483 Where is it? 375 00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:43,283 I must warn them. 376 00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:44,650 Woman: Uh, the school? 377 00:10:44,717 --> 00:10:46,950 Maybe Woodside Elementary? 378 00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:48,316 Woodside Middle? 379 00:10:48,383 --> 00:10:49,417 Woodside High? 380 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,417 - That's the one! 381 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,116 Uhh. 382 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,350 Which way? 383 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:54,850 Woman: It's about three 384 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,850 or four miles that way. 385 00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:56,250 Sir, do you need a ride? 386 00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:58,150 Old Chlodwig: Oh. 387 00:10:58,216 --> 00:11:01,684 I got a ride. 388 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:06,050 [grunt] 389 00:11:06,116 --> 00:11:07,517 Weeee! 390 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:12,216 ♪ 391 00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:13,550 Dwight: Okay, Chlodwig. 392 00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:15,917 You're 108 years old, 393 00:11:13,618 --> 00:11:15,917 where would you go? 394 00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:17,216 Chlodwig: Difficult to say. 395 00:11:17,283 --> 00:11:19,817 I'm an inscrutable, 396 00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:19,817 unpredictable mystery, 397 00:11:19,884 --> 00:11:21,216 Sir Dwight. 398 00:11:21,283 --> 00:11:22,417 Even to myself. 399 00:11:22,483 --> 00:11:23,750 Phil: He has a message 400 00:11:22,484 --> 00:11:23,750 for the princess 401 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,016 and the magician. 402 00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:25,817 Dwight: Gretta and Baldric. 403 00:11:25,884 --> 00:11:26,817 Phil: Where are they? 404 00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:28,283 Dwight: At the parent teacher 405 00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:28,283 conference. 406 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,717 Chlodwig: After me! 407 00:11:29,784 --> 00:11:30,450 Dwight: How you feelin' Phil? 408 00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:31,517 How's that jar? 409 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:32,483 Phil: Don't worry about it. 410 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,550 Everything's going to be fine. 411 00:11:34,617 --> 00:11:37,016 Until the instant 412 00:11:34,618 --> 00:11:37,016 when it suddenly isn't. 413 00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:40,250 Dwight: [nervous groan] 414 00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,183 Mr. Hammond: So, Gretta. 415 00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:45,350 Tell me a little about 416 00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:45,350 your goals in world history. 417 00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,183 - Well, they are 418 00:11:45,418 --> 00:11:47,183 the simple goals 419 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,383 of any monarch. 420 00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,784 To be remembered as a just, 421 00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:51,784 wise, and benevolent ruler. 422 00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:53,083 Baldric: Her people adore her 423 00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:58,083 and her enemies cower in fear 424 00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:58,083 before her. 425 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,884 Write that down. 426 00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:00,817 Mm. 427 00:12:00,884 --> 00:12:04,750 ♪ 428 00:12:04,817 --> 00:12:12,817 - [grunting] 429 00:12:12,884 --> 00:12:14,784 Ahhhh! 430 00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:18,216 [crash] 431 00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:23,750 [panting] 432 00:12:23,817 --> 00:12:25,383 [spits] 433 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:32,684 [grunting] 434 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:33,483 Runner: Hey there. 435 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,684 Where you headed, buddy? 436 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:38,083 - To the conference 437 00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:38,083 of parent leeches 438 00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:40,650 at Woodside High. 439 00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:41,717 - All right, well, 440 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,717 I'm headed that way. 441 00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:43,283 You want a push? 442 00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:44,283 Yeah? 443 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,950 All right. 444 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,984 - Faster! 445 00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:50,517 - Faster! 446 00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:52,283 - You wanna do the pedaling? 447 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:56,650 Phil: Uh-oh. 448 00:12:56,717 --> 00:12:57,383 Chlodwig: What's amiss? 449 00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:57,917 Dwight: Phil said uh-oh. 450 00:12:57,984 --> 00:12:58,617 What uh-oh? 451 00:12:58,684 --> 00:13:00,383 Phil: Oh, never mind. 452 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,450 - Never mind? 453 00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:03,850 Phil: I don't want you guys 454 00:13:01,518 --> 00:13:03,850 to worry. 455 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,817 - We are already worried, Phil. 456 00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:06,917 That mayonnaise jar 457 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:06,917 is the only thing 458 00:13:06,984 --> 00:13:08,483 keeping you from destroying 459 00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:08,483 all carbon-based life 460 00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:09,784 on this planet. 461 00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:10,450 Phil: Well yeah. 462 00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:11,383 [light cracking] 463 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,283 And it's cracking. 464 00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:15,483 I don't do well in tight spaces. 465 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,583 I need my wiggle room. 466 00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:18,784 - We've gotta get you 467 00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:18,784 out of there. 468 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:20,250 Phil: In the next six 469 00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,250 or seven minutes 470 00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:21,784 would be ideal. 471 00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:22,850 - Oh geez. 472 00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:23,717 - I have a plan! 473 00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:24,684 Dwight: Not now Chlodwig. 474 00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:25,950 We have to get Phil out 475 00:13:24,751 --> 00:13:25,950 of that mayonnaise jar 476 00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:27,617 and into something 477 00:13:26,017 --> 00:13:27,617 with wiggle room. 478 00:13:27,684 --> 00:13:28,684 - I have it. 479 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,684 Dwight: Chlodwig, 480 00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:31,083 the world is gonna end 481 00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,083 in five to six minutes 482 00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:33,283 if we don't think of something. 483 00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:37,016 Children: [squealing] 484 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,917 Dwight: Oh, that could work. 485 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,617 Runner: Okay man. 486 00:13:40,684 --> 00:13:44,283 So, Woodside High is just 487 00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:44,283 a block that way. 488 00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:46,950 Sorry, but I got a brisket 489 00:13:44,351 --> 00:13:46,950 in the crock pot. 490 00:13:47,016 --> 00:13:50,083 Chlodwig: Ohhh, 491 00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:50,083 I know that feeling. 492 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,483 Runner: All right, so you sure 493 00:13:50,151 --> 00:13:51,483 you got it from here? 494 00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:53,016 - Most certainly. 495 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,583 I'm quite capable. 496 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,150 Runner: All right, well you have 497 00:13:54,651 --> 00:13:56,150 a good one brother. 498 00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:59,917 Old Chlodwig: [panting] 499 00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:09,417 [grunting] 500 00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,684 Oh floof. 501 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:19,717 Ahhhhh! 502 00:14:19,784 --> 00:14:23,116 Dwight: Okay. 503 00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:24,517 Justin: Okay Phil. 504 00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:25,917 Nozzle valve's in place. 505 00:14:25,984 --> 00:14:26,750 Phil: Great! 506 00:14:26,817 --> 00:14:28,550 Thanks Justin! 507 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,950 Chlodwig, you found a hammer? 508 00:14:30,016 --> 00:14:30,884 Chlodwig: Yes. 509 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:34,350 Phil: Now ever so gently, 510 00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:34,350 suuuper gently, 511 00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:37,950 just as extra incredibly gently 512 00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:37,950 as you can, 513 00:14:38,016 --> 00:14:39,250 hammer the nozzle valve 514 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:41,050 through the lid 515 00:14:39,317 --> 00:14:41,050 of the mayonnaise jar 516 00:14:41,116 --> 00:14:44,383 while being veeery gentle. 517 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,283 Dwight: This is it guys. 518 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,984 Phil: Did you get 519 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,984 the gentle part? 520 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,083 Dwight: Chlodwig? 521 00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:49,517 No matter what happens, 522 00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:52,383 you're always gonna be 523 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,383 my brother. 524 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,750 Oh and Justin, 525 00:14:53,817 --> 00:14:57,350 it's been an honor knowing you 526 00:14:53,818 --> 00:14:57,350 these past five or six minutes. 527 00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,950 - Let's save the world, men. 528 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,483 You ready, Phil? 529 00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:02,817 Phil: Ready! 530 00:15:02,884 --> 00:15:04,850 Gently. 531 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:06,450 Gennntly. 532 00:15:06,517 --> 00:15:07,150 [pop!] 533 00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:10,050 Dwight/Justin/Chlodwig: [shriek] 534 00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:11,417 Phil: That girl is adorable, 535 00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:17,116 but I'm about to destroy 536 00:15:11,484 --> 00:15:17,116 the world. 537 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,050 [tap, tap] 538 00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:18,550 Phil: Gently! 539 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,216 [tap] 540 00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:24,116 Justin: [frightened groan] 541 00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,684 We have pressure! 542 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:26,383 Dwight: Okay. 543 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:31,083 Moving balloon into position. 544 00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,216 Justin: Commencing 545 00:15:31,151 --> 00:15:33,216 gas transference. 546 00:15:33,283 --> 00:15:35,517 See you on the other side Phil. 547 00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:39,984 [air hissing] 548 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,984 Phil: Well done, boys! 549 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:46,950 Dwight/Justin/Chlodwig: 550 00:15:42,051 --> 00:15:46,950 [relieved laughter] 551 00:15:47,016 --> 00:15:51,717 Phil: And that's how 552 00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:51,717 you do that. 553 00:15:51,784 --> 00:16:01,817 Old Chlodwig: [panting] 554 00:16:03,950 --> 00:16:05,717 [grunts] 555 00:16:05,784 --> 00:16:07,650 You jabber-nulling, 556 00:16:05,785 --> 00:16:07,650 pop-doodling, 557 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:13,450 yellow-feathered liver-eater! 558 00:16:13,517 --> 00:16:15,283 Dwight: [sigh] 559 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,016 You good, Phil? 560 00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:16,850 You got your wiggle room? 561 00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:17,650 Phil: Oh yeah. 562 00:16:17,717 --> 00:16:19,250 So much better. 563 00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:22,083 This ought to hold me 564 00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:22,083 for a good 40 minutes. 565 00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:23,116 - Forty minutes? 566 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,383 Phil: An eternity 567 00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:25,383 on some worlds. 568 00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,583 - Well on this world 569 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,583 it's 40 minutes! 570 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,116 Chlodwig: We must find 571 00:16:27,651 --> 00:16:29,116 my ancient self 572 00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:35,250 and retrieve 573 00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:35,250 my ancient doughnuts. 574 00:16:35,316 --> 00:16:38,450 Dwight: Time's tickin'. 575 00:16:38,517 --> 00:16:39,550 Gretta: By the age of 10 576 00:16:39,617 --> 00:16:41,050 I had already vanquished 577 00:16:39,618 --> 00:16:41,050 a dragon 578 00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:44,283 and driven a mob of orcs 579 00:16:41,117 --> 00:16:44,283 out of my kingdom. 580 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,483 - Your kingdom? 581 00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:47,517 - Rogemore, 582 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,517 we've been over this. 583 00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:50,817 Baldric: Long may it flourish. 584 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:51,884 - Wow. 585 00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,650 I sure appreciate you both 586 00:16:51,951 --> 00:16:53,650 coming in. 587 00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:54,517 - Ooh! 588 00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:56,717 Which leads us 589 00:16:54,584 --> 00:16:56,717 to my early adolescence. 590 00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:57,617 Baldric: Ha. 591 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,950 Gretta: A time of trial 592 00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:58,950 that tempered me 593 00:16:59,016 --> 00:17:01,583 like a fine steel blade. 594 00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:03,250 - Oh-ho! 595 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:04,817 Indeed. 596 00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:07,650 This is good. 597 00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:17,150 - [struggling] 598 00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:19,116 Huzzah! 599 00:17:19,183 --> 00:17:21,684 Victory. 600 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,617 [grunting] 601 00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:24,750 - Man. 602 00:17:24,817 --> 00:17:26,250 That's quite a story. 603 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:27,316 - Ah. 604 00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:28,383 Mr. Hammond: But, 605 00:17:27,384 --> 00:17:28,383 it's getting kind of late so-- 606 00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:29,316 Baldric: Oh! 607 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,583 But we're just getting 608 00:17:29,384 --> 00:17:31,583 to the good part. 609 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,750 - Of course you are. 610 00:17:32,817 --> 00:17:34,884 Gretta: Now, imagine my surprise 611 00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,884 when I awaken 612 00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:37,583 to see Sir Dwight 613 00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:37,583 staring me in the face. 614 00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:39,617 - [laughing] 615 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:40,383 - Dwight? 616 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,316 - Not what I expected 617 00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:43,383 but he has risen to the task 618 00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:43,383 commendably. 619 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:44,083 - Mm. 620 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,150 - From world history class? 621 00:17:45,216 --> 00:17:46,216 Gretta: Indeed, yes. 622 00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:47,383 Mr. Hammond: The kid who sits 623 00:17:46,284 --> 00:17:47,383 in the front row? 624 00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:48,517 - That's the one. 625 00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,750 - The guy 626 00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:50,750 who volunteered to organize 627 00:17:50,817 --> 00:17:52,116 the history fair? 628 00:17:52,183 --> 00:17:54,817 Old Chlodwig: Where is the 629 00:17:52,184 --> 00:17:54,817 errant teacher conference? 630 00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:55,383 Mr. Hammond: What the-- 631 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,650 [confused stuttering] 632 00:17:56,717 --> 00:17:57,984 Is he with you? 633 00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:01,083 Gretta: Are you lost, 634 00:17:58,051 --> 00:18:01,083 ancient one? 635 00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:01,884 - Gretta? 636 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:02,884 [gasp] 637 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,083 Gretta: Do I know you? 638 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:08,216 Old Chlodwig: I have a warning 639 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:08,216 from the future. 640 00:18:08,283 --> 00:18:09,250 - From the future? 641 00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:10,717 - What warning? 642 00:18:10,784 --> 00:18:14,350 - Doom, doom, doooom! 643 00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:15,750 Mr. Hammond: Sir, are you okay? 644 00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:17,283 Old Chlodwig: Ohh, 645 00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:17,283 out of my way. 646 00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:23,917 Gretta, Baldric, 647 00:18:17,351 --> 00:18:23,917 you must listen. 648 00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:26,283 - I think 649 00:18:23,985 --> 00:18:26,283 he might be having a stroke. 650 00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:28,183 - Step aside. 651 00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:29,150 - We're listening. 652 00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:31,350 What is your warning? 653 00:18:31,417 --> 00:18:33,183 - My warning. 654 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,050 Baldric/Gretta: Yes. 655 00:18:34,116 --> 00:18:35,583 Old Chlodwig: Eh, um, 656 00:18:34,117 --> 00:18:35,583 I don't recall. 657 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,483 I'm um... 658 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:43,183 I know I had a warning 659 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:43,183 and it was a very good warning. 660 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:46,383 It was, um. 661 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:52,984 Never eat the last lemon fritter 662 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:52,984 at a dwarf banquet. 663 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,917 - Prince Chlodwig? 664 00:18:54,984 --> 00:18:56,016 Dwight: [short yelp] 665 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,583 Chlodwig! 666 00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:58,950 Chlodwig: Ancient self. 667 00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:01,150 Mr. Hammond: Dwight, 668 00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,150 do you know this man? 669 00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:01,850 Dwight: Yeah. 670 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,183 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 671 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,116 No, no, he's with me. 672 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:04,817 I'm with him. 673 00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:06,350 I just, I have to find a, a... 674 00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:09,283 Old Chlodwig: 675 00:19:06,418 --> 00:19:09,283 Hands to your own person. 676 00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:10,083 - They're not here. 677 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,050 Gretta: What's not here? 678 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,550 - The doughnuts Phil, 679 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:12,550 they're not here. 680 00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:13,550 - Who's Phil? 681 00:19:13,617 --> 00:19:14,383 Phil: That's me. 682 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:15,650 Just passin' through. 683 00:19:15,717 --> 00:19:16,784 [laughs] 684 00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:17,984 Little gas joke. 685 00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:20,850 - Where are the doughnuts, 686 00:19:18,051 --> 00:19:20,850 grandpa? 687 00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:23,884 - They're all gone. 688 00:19:23,950 --> 00:19:25,283 Baldric: We can stop 689 00:19:23,951 --> 00:19:25,283 for more doughnuts 690 00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:26,550 on the way home, Sir Dwight. 691 00:19:26,617 --> 00:19:29,050 Dwight: No, no, no, 692 00:19:26,618 --> 00:19:29,050 we need his doughnuts. 693 00:19:29,116 --> 00:19:35,950 Old Chlodwig: I used them up 694 00:19:29,117 --> 00:19:35,950 getting here. 695 00:19:36,016 --> 00:19:37,083 - Can we still stop 696 00:19:36,017 --> 00:19:37,083 and get doughnuts 697 00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:38,583 on the way home? 698 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:40,250 - How much time 699 00:19:38,651 --> 00:19:40,250 we got, Phil? 700 00:19:40,316 --> 00:19:45,550 Phil: Feels like oh, I'd say 701 00:19:40,317 --> 00:19:45,550 about 20 minutes-ish. 702 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:49,717 - Where are your doughnuts, 703 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:49,717 you fop-doodle? 704 00:19:49,784 --> 00:19:51,116 Chlodwig: Fop-doodle? 705 00:19:51,183 --> 00:19:54,583 - Think, you lubber-wart. 706 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:54,950 - Oh. 707 00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:56,050 - Oh dear. 708 00:19:56,116 --> 00:19:58,850 Old Chlodwig: Your first journey 709 00:19:56,117 --> 00:19:58,850 through the cosmos. 710 00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:06,717 What did Uncle Arnolf give you 711 00:19:58,918 --> 00:20:06,717 to bring back? 712 00:20:06,784 --> 00:20:09,350 Dwight/Chlodwig: Doughnuts! 713 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,583 Dwight: Go, go! 714 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:11,684 Gotta go. 715 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,517 Thanks, Mr. Hammond. 716 00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:13,784 Love your class! 717 00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:16,216 [hurried groaning] 718 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,550 - Same time tomorrow. 719 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:22,083 Hm. 720 00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,550 Dwight: You didn't 721 00:20:22,151 --> 00:20:23,550 throw them away did you? 722 00:20:23,617 --> 00:20:25,383 Gretta: Uncle Arnolf 723 00:20:23,618 --> 00:20:25,383 told us not to. 724 00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:27,383 Baldric: He said they could 725 00:20:25,451 --> 00:20:27,383 prove useful. 726 00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:29,784 Phil: That guy's hilarious. 727 00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:31,150 - The ice box. 728 00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:32,150 Chlodwig: Oh. 729 00:20:32,216 --> 00:20:42,183 Dwight/Chlodwig: [grunting] 730 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,316 Baldric: My nightgown! 731 00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:48,316 Dwight: Okay, I gotta know 732 00:20:46,384 --> 00:20:48,316 before Phil blows us all up. 733 00:20:48,383 --> 00:20:51,083 Why is your nightgown 734 00:20:48,384 --> 00:20:51,083 in the freezer? 735 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:54,617 Baldric: I like a cold nightgown 736 00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:54,617 on a warm night. 737 00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,150 - And why not? 738 00:20:56,216 --> 00:21:01,650 - Huzzah! 739 00:21:01,717 --> 00:21:02,717 Two left. 740 00:21:02,784 --> 00:21:04,250 Phil: Take one out, 741 00:21:02,785 --> 00:21:04,250 throw it up in the air, 742 00:21:04,316 --> 00:21:06,550 and I will do the rest. 743 00:21:06,617 --> 00:21:07,817 Oh! 744 00:21:07,884 --> 00:21:11,650 And don't any of you think about 745 00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:11,650 any specific times or locations 746 00:21:11,717 --> 00:21:13,316 while the doughnut's in the air. 747 00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:14,617 You don't wanna confuse it. 748 00:21:14,684 --> 00:21:15,750 - 'Kay? 749 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:19,817 So I'll just think 750 00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:19,817 of Cap'n Crunch. 751 00:21:19,884 --> 00:21:22,984 I mean that can't be considered 752 00:21:19,885 --> 00:21:22,984 a time or a destination, right? 753 00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:25,717 Phil: We'll see, won't we? 754 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,417 Baldric: I shall think 755 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,417 of my toes. 756 00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:32,350 Gretta: I shall think about 757 00:21:29,484 --> 00:21:32,350 how to spell perseverance. 758 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,917 Baldric: Ah. 759 00:21:33,984 --> 00:21:34,917 Chlodwig: Wait, wait, wait. 760 00:21:34,984 --> 00:21:36,050 - Gotta go. 761 00:21:36,116 --> 00:21:38,050 Lives of billions hangin' 762 00:21:36,117 --> 00:21:38,050 in the balance here, man. 763 00:21:38,116 --> 00:21:39,517 - I've got it. 764 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:45,116 I shall think of nothing at all. 765 00:21:45,183 --> 00:21:46,016 Dwight: Love it. 766 00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:46,817 Ready, Phil? 767 00:21:46,884 --> 00:21:48,483 Phil: Nice meeting you guys. 768 00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:51,550 Glad I didn't blow you all 769 00:21:48,551 --> 00:21:51,550 to smithers. 770 00:21:51,617 --> 00:21:52,550 - Ready? 771 00:21:52,617 --> 00:21:56,617 Phil: Ready. 772 00:21:56,684 --> 00:21:59,917 Take me to Feeeeech! 773 00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:04,717 [magical whoosh] 774 00:22:04,784 --> 00:22:07,283 Dwight: [nervous breathing] 775 00:22:07,350 --> 00:22:07,950 Wow. 776 00:22:08,016 --> 00:22:08,684 Okay. 777 00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:11,483 I need to, I need to sit down. 778 00:22:11,550 --> 00:22:14,116 - My turn. 779 00:22:14,183 --> 00:22:16,316 - Not so soon, ancient self. 780 00:22:16,383 --> 00:22:18,684 We have so much to discuss. 781 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:20,316 - It's time to go. 782 00:22:20,383 --> 00:22:21,617 - But... 783 00:22:21,684 --> 00:22:23,984 my future. 784 00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:28,283 What must I know? 785 00:22:28,350 --> 00:22:36,684 - You already know 786 00:22:28,351 --> 00:22:36,684 everything you must know. 787 00:22:36,750 --> 00:22:39,817 - Farewell, ancient self. 788 00:22:39,884 --> 00:22:47,817 - Get on with it, 789 00:22:39,885 --> 00:22:47,817 you whippersnapper. 790 00:22:47,884 --> 00:22:50,950 Take me to my lady's arms. 791 00:22:51,016 --> 00:22:55,083 [magical whoosh] 792 00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:57,917 Gretta: [short laugh] 793 00:22:57,984 --> 00:23:01,817 Dwight: Did he say lady's arms? 794 00:23:01,884 --> 00:23:03,517 Gretta: Incredible. 795 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,483 - Tell us. 796 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:06,483 What was the message 797 00:23:06,550 --> 00:23:09,450 my ancient self so wanted 798 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,450 to share with you? 799 00:23:09,517 --> 00:23:11,450 Gretta: Oh. 800 00:23:11,517 --> 00:23:13,617 [clears throat] 801 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:18,483 Never eat the last lemon fritter 802 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:18,483 at a dwarf banquet. 803 00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:19,950 - You're kidding me. 804 00:23:20,016 --> 00:23:23,350 That was the message? 805 00:23:23,417 --> 00:23:24,583 - Excellent advice. 806 00:23:24,650 --> 00:23:26,150 ♪ 47336

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