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1
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♪♪
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:13,880
♪♪ There's a light in my chest
growing deep down ♪
3
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:20,186
♪ She's talking for the best,
but she's so loud ♪♪
4
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,287
- Hey, Dwight.
5
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,889
Come to farmer's market later?
6
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:25,525
-Yeah,wouldn't miss it.
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:34,467
♪♪
8
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,335
- Want a strawberry?
9
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:35,969
- Organic?
10
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,504
- Of course.
11
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:38,505
So, I'm almost done
with my piece
12
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,373
about the
endangered belly button owl.
13
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,674
Patty says she'll put it in
next week's paper
14
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,177
if I have it and a photo
in her inbox by 8 o'clock.
15
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,846
She only wants an original photo
from Woodside Woods.
16
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,047
- I'm slammed today, Jules.
17
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:48,948
Boy:Hey, Dwight.
18
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:49,816
You helping with the
school fundraiser?
19
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:50,750
- Sure am.
20
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,684
- Bingo night?
21
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,986
- You know it.
22
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:54,254
- Please, Dwight.
23
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,322
It would be raising awareness
for a vanishing species.
24
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,357
- 'Kay--
25
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,224
- I will dedicate my Pulitzer
to you someday.
26
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:58,858
- I'll work it in.
27
00:00:58,859 --> 00:00:59,659
- Yes!
28
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,593
You're the best.
29
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:01,928
- Make sure to bring
the prize baskets
30
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,631
to the multipurpose room
by 6:00 in cellophane.
31
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:05,498
- Will do, Mick.
32
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,800
[cell phone clicking]
33
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,968
[school bell rings]
34
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:13,173
Done, done, done, done.
35
00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:17,377
Okay, Juliet's owl.
36
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:23,183
♪♪ Tell me whyTell me why ♪♪
37
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:34,694
[soft guitar music]
38
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:49,642
♪♪
39
00:01:49,643 --> 00:02:00,353
♪♪
40
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:05,191
[birds calling]
41
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,967
[woodpecker pecking]
42
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,636
[owl calling]
43
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,505
[lens focuses]
44
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,512
There you are.
45
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,213
[beep] [crashing]
46
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,516
[screaming] Ah!
47
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,618
[crash]
48
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,890
[kissing noise]
49
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:39,025
[coughs]
50
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,462
Ah!
51
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:50,703
Ahh!
52
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,674
No, no, no!
53
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,376
- Mortal enemy,
or harmless peasant?
54
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,076
- Wait!
55
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,013
Man:Hold, Your Highness!
56
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,247
It worked.
57
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,682
Look around you.
58
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,183
- Shall I kill this foe or not?
59
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,286
Man:He is not a foe.
60
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,087
I regret to say, Your Highness,
61
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,455
this is him.
62
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,356
Girl:Whom?
63
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,324
- The one.
64
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,293
You know, the last hope.
65
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,329
The only solution?
66
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,363
- Him?
67
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,499
Man:The spell worked, Princess.
68
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,335
This is the champion
we've been waiting for.
69
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,003
Girl:Thislittle
wiggling worm?
70
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:24,571
- Hey.
71
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,338
- It appears so.
72
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,372
- This mucus-y little toad?
73
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:26,940
-Hey, whoa,whoa.
74
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:27,740
Why the name calling?
75
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:28,675
Girl:This little rabbit pellet
76
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,642
is the one who is
supposed to protect--
77
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:30,710
Dwight: Okay, okay, okay.
78
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,711
We don't have to see
eye to eye on everything.
79
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:36,182
We can respect
each other's differences, right?
80
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,717
Yeah?
81
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,352
- Get me another champion,
Baldric.
82
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,220
- I dearly wish I could,
83
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,890
but the rules of the spell
are inflexible.
84
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,025
It was hiskiss that woke you.
85
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:46,693
- Oh, no.
86
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:47,660
No no, no.
87
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,194
Hold up.
88
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,696
I did not kiss her.
89
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,863
- Am I awake?
90
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:51,931
[silence]
91
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:52,765
Then you kissed me.
92
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:53,600
- No, total accident.
93
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,268
I fell on my face
94
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,537
and you were under it.
95
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:58,671
- Should have read the contract.
96
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,173
- The, the what?
97
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,612
[reading] "By waking
this Princess with your kiss,
98
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,847
"you agree to perform the
officeand function
99
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:12,552
of her Champion until herhordes
of enemies are defeated."
100
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:16,856
[wheezy laugh]
101
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,992
Okay, you guys
are obviously going
102
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:22,061
through some stuff right now,
and you're off your medication.
103
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,029
There is a gas leak.
104
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,263
I don't know.
105
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,633
You see, I can't make other
people's problems my problems.
106
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:27,800
You see, I tend to do that
107
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,636
and it'snot healthy or
productive in the long term.
108
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,005
And plus, I'm already committed
to the school fundraising thing
109
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:32,805
so...
110
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,241
[phone buzzing]
111
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:42,048
[growling]
112
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,683
- Ah!
113
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,059
Baldric:Ahhh!
114
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,968
- Run.
115
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,103
[growling]
116
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:09,075
♪♪
117
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:10,777
- What was that?
118
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,311
- Troll.
119
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:27,260
♪♪
120
00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:31,164
♪♪
121
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,866
What are you doing?
122
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,734
- Light-headed.
123
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,369
I'm just stabilizing
my breathing.
124
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,403
- Get off your rump.
125
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,871
These woods are crawling
with my foes.
126
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,406
- Who are you?
127
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:41,541
- You have the honor
128
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:44,410
of addressing PrincessGretta,
The Besieged.
129
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:48,047
I am her court magician,
Baldric.
130
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,586
- 'Kay. I'm Dwight.
131
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,054
Whoa.
132
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:55,888
Ow.
133
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,523
- Sir Dwight now.
134
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,560
Rise Champion and run.
135
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,028
My enemies are everywhere.
136
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,730
- Since when?
137
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,466
- Since you kissed
Princess Gretta awake.
138
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,167
Dwight:I did notkiss her.
139
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,470
[roaring in distance]
140
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,405
- I suggest we explain
while fleeing.
141
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,140
-Okay,yeah sure.
142
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,209
- It was because of these
legions of enemies
143
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,811
that we resorted
to the Champion spell.
144
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,913
We were besieged
on all sides,
145
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,716
barricaded in the castle,
no hope of rescue.
146
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,052
So I cast a spell
of last resort.
147
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,887
- The Champion spell
is what put us all to sleep.
148
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,055
- Princess Gretta, myself--
149
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,823
- And anyone else
in these woods that day.
150
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,392
- The spell was designed
to remain in effect
151
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,963
until a champion came.
152
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,599
Someone with thecourage,the valor,
153
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:44,771
the skills to defeat the
Princess's hordes of enemies.
154
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,840
- Instead, we got you.
155
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,308
- [out of breath] So,
156
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,443
so when I woke you up...
157
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,711
- With your kiss.
158
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,912
- Accidental kiss.
159
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,614
Gretta:You woke upeveryone.
160
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,049
The spell is broken.
161
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,152
We're back.
162
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:03,389
[light-hearted music]
163
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:09,896
♪♪
164
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:14,066
♪♪
165
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,869
- Whither are we bound?
166
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,671
- Woodside High.
167
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,040
What time is it?
168
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,075
[chickens squawking]
169
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:34,220
- [loudly] Her Royal Highness,
Princess Gretta.
170
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:37,089
[silence]
171
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,191
- Well, uh,
172
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,059
the Renaissance faire
is setting up right over there.
173
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,296
[Renaissance music]
174
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,931
[clanging of metal]
175
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:50,736
♪♪
176
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:56,642
[loud chewing]
177
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,977
- Uh, Dwight?
178
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,445
- I'll pay for this Bill,
all right?
179
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,315
I'm- I'm- I'm really sorry.
180
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,083
Were you raised in a barn?
181
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,652
- No, a cliffside fortress.
182
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,488
Then, a desert fortress,
a swamp fortress,
183
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,656
an underground fortress,
184
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:14,827
and finally, a forest fortress.
185
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,929
This is a spectacular plum.
186
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,097
- People are staring at you.
187
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,732
- I'm starving.
188
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:20,933
I haven't eaten in--
189
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:26,038
Baldric:Overa thousand years.
190
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,507
[dramatic music]
191
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,776
♪♪
192
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,613
[motorcycle revving]
193
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,621
Sorcery.
194
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,530
[growling]
195
00:08:53,532 --> 00:09:00,239
[bushes rustling]
196
00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:05,411
- Okay...
197
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,014
Hey, there.
198
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,415
- Mortal enemy
or harmless peasant?
199
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,983
- Also, you're gonna kill
the shrubs.
200
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:11,984
Whoa, whoa. Okay.
201
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,319
What is that?
202
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,888
Thisis Juliet.
203
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:16,689
- Hey.
204
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,924
-Kneel,wench.
205
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,659
You are in the presenceof her royal--
206
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,593
- No, no, no, no.
207
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,094
That is not how we are going
to do this.
208
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,096
This is my turf, now.
209
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,499
What we are going
to call Nice...
210
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,567
Nice Turf.
211
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,170
- Oh my gosh.
212
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,139
You got the
Shakespeare Improv Troupe?
213
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,340
Dwight:Uh no, they're...
214
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,141
Yeah.
215
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,375
Okay, yeah,
we'll go with that.
216
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,844
Juliet:I thoughtthey were
booked until June.
217
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:41,213
[clears throat] Good evening.
218
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:45,384
Welcome to our fair village.
219
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:51,357
- We require wine
and venison.
220
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,192
- We don't have either
of those things.
221
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:56,062
♪♪
222
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,130
Here is your belly button owl.
223
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,398
- Whoa.
224
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,068
Nice work,Dwight.
225
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:02,802
- Come on.
226
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,704
Let's go.
227
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,205
- Bye.
228
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,040
♪♪
229
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,343
- What means this procession?
230
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:13,012
- Bingo night.
231
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,347
Baldric:Bingo night...
232
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,483
Host: N-31.
233
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:22,922
♪♪
234
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,557
- [loudly] Her Royal Highness--
235
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:25,758
- Save it...
236
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,193
Dumbledore.
237
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,597
Stay.
238
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:33,699
- Thanks for the call, Dwight.
239
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,700
- I am so sorry, Mick.
240
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,268
I was in the woods and I fell
241
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,370
and you're not gonna
believe it--
242
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:37,937
- Whatever.
243
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:38,938
It doesn't matter.
244
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,339
Russell did the cellophane.
245
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,340
Boy:Bingo.
246
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,708
- Congratulations.
247
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,510
'Kay, come on down
and pick out a basket.
248
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,747
[sniffing]
249
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,051
Both: Food.
250
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:55,054
Baldric: Move!
251
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,756
Woman:Oh, that'llbe
one dollar.
252
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,457
Baldric:Insolentwench.
253
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,794
It is your great honor
to feed Princess Gretta.
254
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,195
- I got this.
255
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,330
Here.
256
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,767
What are you doing?
257
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:12,705
Baldric:Caution first,
Your Highness.
258
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:13,806
- Taste this.
259
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:14,840
- No.
260
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,744
It's pure carbs inside
fructose corn syr-- Okay.
261
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:22,314
-Nowwe see if the poison
takes effect.
262
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,249
Dwight:No.
263
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,483
Nobody poisoned the
Rice Krispie treats.
264
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,986
- We shall see.
265
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:27,620
- Okay.
266
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:28,754
Are you insane?
267
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,256
- I am a princess,
268
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,358
which means my life has been
under constant threat
269
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,527
since the moment my mother
birthed me.
270
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,528
- Ew.
271
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,395
-I've been fighting
for survival
272
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,164
since I was old enough
to hold a sword.
273
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,331
- How old was that?
274
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,599
- Two.
275
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,834
- Oh.
276
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:42,368
Young Man:Hey, Dwight.
277
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,869
Who's your friend?
278
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,870
- Oh, n-n-no!
279
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:45,738
Harmless peasant.
280
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:46,439
Harmless peasant.
281
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,239
So sorry, Charles.
282
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,507
You okay, you good?
283
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,508
Great.
284
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,378
Nice Turf, remember?
285
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,946
So your childhood sucked, right?
286
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,214
Your life is
under constant threat.
287
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,582
I get it, but not,
and I repeat,
288
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,618
notfrom theglee club president.
289
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,621
Every guy you see is not
trying to kill you.
290
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,290
[crash]
291
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:07,660
[screaming]
292
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,734
- Okay, that guy's trying
to kill you.
293
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,105
[rock music]
294
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:30,649
♪♪
295
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,518
Baldric:SirDwight,
do something!
296
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,586
- What?
297
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:36,422
- You are honor bound
to protect Princess Gretta.
298
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,923
[grunting]
299
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:42,862
- She's doing fine.
300
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,598
[applauding]
301
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:51,370
♪♪
302
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:54,874
[cheering]
303
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:01,947
Crowd: Oh!
304
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,823
- Okay. Okay, okay, man.
305
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:14,527
Hey, we all know violence is
never the answer, right?
306
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,162
Gretta:Save your breath,
Champion.
307
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,363
- Champion?
308
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,497
Him?
309
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,099
- Sadly, yes.
310
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,834
Knight:This spineless tadpole?
311
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,835
- I know.
312
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,836
Knight:This snivelling
little weakling?
313
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,205
- Can we not do this again?
314
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:33,812
[Gretta struggling]
315
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:41,887
[lighting bulbs buzzing]
316
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:50,129
[cheering]
317
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:54,133
- Encore, encore!
318
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:58,637
[bike creaking]
319
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,573
- He'll return with her
to the woods,
320
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,942
to a world that is familiar.
321
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,510
- Okay.
322
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,444
That's his plan.
323
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,612
What's yours?
324
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,846
- If you were
a proper champion,
325
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,749
you would undertake
the rescue yourself.
326
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,917
- Well, as far as I'm concerned,
327
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,286
I'm a freakin' hero just
for giving your butt a ride,
328
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,021
or your princess girl
is not my problem.
329
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,823
- Oh,but she is.
330
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,426
Your fate and hers became one
the moment you kissed her.
331
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,327
- I did not kiss her.
332
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,828
- You pressed your lips
firmly against--
333
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,830
- Okay, stop.
334
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:28,167
- You are not only honor bound
to protect Princess Gretta,
335
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,603
you are spellbound.
336
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,606
- I'm gonna hate
what you say next, huh?
337
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,208
- If the princess dies,
338
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,644
so does her champion.
339
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,946
- So, I could die then?
340
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,249
What kind of nutjob came up
with that?
341
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:43,816
Oh, yeah.
342
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,551
Right, you.
343
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:50,456
- As I said, it was a spell
of last resort.
344
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:54,593
[ominous music]
345
00:14:54,594 --> 00:15:02,801
♪♪
346
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,303
[Gretta screams]
347
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,576
Gretta:Let me gothis instantyou...
348
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,479
- Call me...
349
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,681
Sugar plum.
350
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:16,782
- Chlodwig?
351
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,250
- None other, my darling.
352
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,820
This is the happiest day
of my life!
353
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,623
- Release me this instant,
Chlodwig.
354
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,259
Honestly, I've tried to be nice.
355
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,462
[clang]
356
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,499
- Hark, wedding bells.
357
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:42,941
Dearly beloved...
358
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,343
-Goodgrief, you're annoying.
359
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:48,380
-...we are gathered here
for a most joyous event.
360
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,354
[high-pitched voice]You've been
good to mybaby.
361
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,890
I'm giving him to youforever.
362
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:59,792
[exaggerated sobbing]
363
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,561
- All you people are nuts, huh?
364
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,598
- I will never marry you,
Chlodwig.
365
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,133
- But we are betrothed.
366
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,069
Mummy and daddy
promised you to me.
367
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,437
- We were three years old,
368
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,439
and then you turned
into a lunatic.
369
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,008
- I am a prince.
370
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:18,010
No one tells me no.
371
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,978
- I am a princess,
372
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,648
and I'm telling you no.
373
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,683
- You'll marry me or...
374
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,186
Or I'll feed you to the dragon.
375
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,621
- Ah!
376
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,090
Chlodwig:See?
377
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,025
See how much I love you?
378
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,328
- Stop him.
379
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:36,962
- How?
380
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,664
- Brute force, naturally.
381
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,933
- I don't do brute force.
382
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,835
- What do you do?
383
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,804
- I do...
384
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,974
diplomacy.
385
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:53,812
I do diplomacy.
386
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,049
- This is the last time
I use the Champion spell.
387
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:00,886
[Gretta gasps]
388
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,055
- Hey, man.
389
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,657
Hey, Gretta.
390
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,759
Whoa, hey, no.
391
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,496
I, I didn't come here to fight.
392
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:14,333
- You came to die, then?
393
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:17,302
- No. I...
394
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:20,172
I came to bring you up to speed.
395
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,373
It's been, what?
396
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:25,811
A thousand yearssince you last,
you know, circulated?
397
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,079
It's a different world now.
398
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,314
I just want to make surethatyou have the skills
399
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,950
to survive and thrive.
400
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,186
Chlodwig:You comefromyon village?
401
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:37,089
- Yon village is called
Woodside.
402
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,024
Nice town, great schools.
403
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:39,958
Lots of kids our age.
404
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,928
You'd fit... right in.
405
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:46,632
- My society was limited
growing up.
406
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,901
Mummy didn't like meto leave the castle.
407
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,304
- Good news is,
mummy isn't here right now,
408
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,107
and there is a whole world
out there, man.
409
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,976
- But I'm on a quest to win
the hand of Princess Gretta
410
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:01,380
by fair meansor foul.
411
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:07,820
Dwight:Yeah, turns out
that's nota good quest.
412
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,088
She's just
not that into you, man.
413
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,659
It sucks,but we'veall been there.
414
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:17,129
Welcome to guy club.
415
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:21,767
- Guy Club.
416
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,470
Thank you.
417
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,738
- You've earned it?
418
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,141
So, Guy Club.
419
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,409
We have a few simple rules.
420
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,443
- I love rules.
421
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,312
- Me too.
422
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,816
First rule is,
we don't feed girls to dragons.
423
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,419
Sorry, that's kind of a,
424
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,421
kind of a charter rule.
425
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,789
Here's what you do instead.
426
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,258
You write a sad poem
in your journal.
427
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,593
You learn a few chords
on guitar
428
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,027
and you turn that sad poem
429
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:52,798
into a sad song that you sing
to other girls.
430
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:02,908
- I already know a few chords
on the lute.
431
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,043
- Oh, not the lute.
432
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,979
-Luteworks too.
433
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,380
You're already way ahead
of the game.
434
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,414
Look out,ladies.
435
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,416
Here comes...
436
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,184
- Chlodwig.
437
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:17,356
- Chlodwig, right?
438
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:21,126
- But, what of Princess Gretta?
439
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,528
- I'll get her down.
440
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,495
You get to that journal
441
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,931
while your inspiration
is still white hot.
442
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:36,642
- I am in your debt,
Guy Club brother.
443
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:37,809
- Call me, Dwight.
444
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:41,480
- See you in yon village,
Dwight.
445
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,716
[Gretta screams]
446
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,019
- Uh, uh...
447
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,166
[groans]
448
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,905
Baldric:[laughs]
449
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,207
You did it, Sir Dwight!
450
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:19,318
- That was, how did you do that?
451
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:23,255
- Like I said,
we're on my turf now.
452
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,489
- Nice Turf.
453
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,591
Dwight:Yeah!
454
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,059
Yeah.
455
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:33,765
I am the king of Nice Turf.
456
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,034
- You are not the champion
I expected.
457
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,336
- I know, I know.
458
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,171
Rabbit pellet, mucus-y toad.
459
00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:40,606
-Grotesquelittle pustule.
460
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:44,242
- But...
461
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,878
you may be the champion
I need.
462
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:54,252
- So, what do we do now?
463
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,622
- To stay here would be...
464
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,024
- Madness, Your Highness.
465
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:01,426
Gretta:But where can we go?
466
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:05,831
- Perhaps that is a question
best answered by
467
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,200
your champion.
468
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:18,310
♪♪
469
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,480
- My neighbors just put
their house up for sale.
470
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,883
- Hm.
471
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:32,891
♪♪
472
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,726
[banging]
473
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:40,365
- Walls seem a little flimsy.
474
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,401
- Actors.
475
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:45,337
So,what do you guys think?
476
00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:47,439
- With a few fortifications...
477
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:53,745
[rock music]
478
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,781
Gretta:We'll salvage
what we can.
479
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:02,688
Baldric:...to makeit morecomfortable.
480
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,389
Gretta:We shall builda lookout towerfor Dwight.
481
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:05,691
- Sorry, what?
482
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,997
- A moat eventually.
483
00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:24,076
- It will do.
484
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:40,325
Here.
485
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:43,361
Two hands is best
while you're a beginner.
486
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,330
- Is this really necessary?
487
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,732
- You teach me the rules
of your turf,
488
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,333
I teach you the rules of mine.
489
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:50,736
That's our bargain.
490
00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:57,876
Well done.
491
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:02,681
For starters,
my overall appearance...
492
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:07,719
- Your look is awesome.
493
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,989
Don't change a thing.
494
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:16,995
'Kay.
495
00:23:20,665 --> 00:23:25,337
So, we fought a troll
and a wormy knight guy.
496
00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:29,841
I mean,it's not gonna get
much worse than that, right?
497
00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:34,045
Right?
498
00:23:37,415 --> 00:23:39,684
[thunder clap]
499
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:46,992
[doorbell rings]
500
00:23:46,993 --> 00:23:48,894
- Sir Dwight, get the door.
501
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:51,830
It might be the pizza peasant.
502
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:55,100
♪♪
503
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,936
[rock Renaissance music]
504
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:12,884
♪♪
505
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:27,833
♪♪
506
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:32,904
♪♪
507
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:38,510
♪♪
32730
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