All language subtitles for Cheers.S07E12.Please.Mr.Postman.DVDRip.XviD-SAiNTS

Cheers is filmed before a live
studio audience.

Excuse me, can I have
your attention please?

It is my pleasure,
once again,

to present the Cheers Employee
of the Month Award.

And I am delighted to present it
to our very own, Sam Malone.

Congratulations.
Bravo!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I told you before
I don't want that thing.

And don't put my picture
on the wall, either.

I hate that stuff.

Oh, great speech, Sammy.

Fine.

Carla, you haven't been
offensive this month,

why don't you take it?

Get that thing
away from me.

Woody?

Congratulations, you're
the Employee of the Month.

Wow, four months in a row!

I wasn't really expecting
this great honor.

I'm deeply moved.

You know, it takes more than one
person to win this award.

It takes teamwork.

I would like to thank my...

( piano plays )

� Making your way
in the world today �

� Takes everything you've got

� Taking a break
from all your worries �

� Sure would help a lot

� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �

� Sometimes you want to go

� Where everybody knows
your name �

� And they're always
glad you came �

� You want to be
where you can see �

� Our troubles
are all the same �

� You want to be where everybody
knows your name �

� You want to go
where people know �

� People are all the same

� You want to go where everybody
knows your name. �

Hey, you know, same to ya!

That's it, I've had it.

I'm finished.

I've been embarrassed
for the last time.
What?

I just came on
to Rebecca

for the I-don't-know-
how-manyth time.

4,659.

Thank you, Carla.

And she shot me down once again.

Well, you know, that's it.

That's the last time
I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna get my self respect
back starting right now.

Whoo!
Feels damn good, I'll tell you.

You know, Sam,
there's one way

to get Rebecca that
you've overlooked.

Hold that self-respect thought.

What do you got?

You see, it's been
psychologically documented

that all human animals have
a neurotic hair-trigger response

to at least one
of the five sensory stimuli.

It could be
anything, actually.

Oh, it's the sound of
the surf pounding
against the shore,

the smell of honeysuckle
on a warm summer night,

the taste of a vintage
Chateauneuf du Pape,

fire-red fingernails dancing
through your chest hair...

a black lace teddy straining
against its fleshy cargo.

Frasier, man,
snap out of it.

In a minute, Sam.

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Some mornings

you get up, you look at yourself
in the mirror

and you've got to ask, "Why me?"

Cliffie, it's just a haircut.

It'll grow back.

Nah, I'm over that, Normie.

I got saddled with a job

of breaking in
a new postal employee.

Yeah, so I told the supervisor

to send the greenhorn down here
and I could size him up.

Boy, they made you
a trainer, huh?

Well, that sounds like a
compliment to me, Cliff.

You really are a civilian,
aren't you, Sammy?

It's a nightmare.

Those rookies, yeah,
they just get in your way,

ask you stupid questions,
throw off your whole rhythm.

Oh, God, this won't slow down
the mail, will it?

Uh-oh, Cliff, greenhorn alert.

Excuse me, Cliff Clavin?

I am.

I'm your trainee,
Margaret O'Keefe.

Straighten up, O'Keefe.
You're in uniform.

I wasn't informed
you were a woman.

Sorry, sir.

Well, no offense, sister,

but I just don't believe
that women belong
in the trenches.

I mean, they're fine
for sorting mail
or selling stamps,

but when you're lugging
a 40-pound sack

up a hill with a Nor'easter

hitting you right smack
in the kisser,

you don't have time
to fret about going home

and soaking your delicates.

I wear cotton
briefs, sir.

That'll be enough of that,
O'Keefe.

Permission
to speak freely, sir?

Permission granted.

I requested you
as my trainer

because I want
to learn hard

and I want to learn right.

I want to be
the best carrier

in the department,
next to you, of course.

Because I love
the post office

more than my life itself.

Good grief, there's another one.

The post office
is in my blood;

my father was a carrier,
and his father before him.

It's been
a life-long dream of mine

to wear the eagle
on my sleeve

and to be a part
of the few, the proud...

The undateable.

Oh, your attitude

is commendable
there, O'Keefe.

Look, I think
you better mosey
on home now

and grab
some shuteye.

You're going
to need plenty of sleep.

Tomorrow is TV Guide day.

I'll do you proud, sir.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Is it my imagination, or was
that woman coming on to me?

Cliffie, Walt Disney
should have had your
imagination.

Say, hi, honey.

Um, Fras and I
were just talking

about how sorry
we feel about you.

Why is that, Sam?

Well, it's just that
you're always stuck
in your office,

you know, worrying about losses
and profits and career moves,

while we're out here

having fascinating,

fun-filled conversations

about things like, well,
like sexual stimuluses.

By the way, do you have,
do you have one of those?

Well, I am driven
to a sexual frenzy

by people who mind
their own business.

No, no, really, listen.

You know,
it's not like I'm going

to do anything with it
or anything.

Okay, I'll be honest
with you.

I do have one
and I'll give you a hint.

A hint?
Great, why?

Because
you'll never get it.

And I mean that
in every sense
of the word.

It's a song.

That's it?
It's a song?

Mm-hmm.

One little tiny song
that turned my knees
to butter

when I was a teenager
and still does.

Good luck, Sam.

The clock is ticking.

Name that tune.

This is great; a song.

Man, you were right, Frasier.

Thank you.

Wow, what luck, huh?

I mean, how many songs
can there be?

I've been going
over the books, Norm,

and I think it's time
to pay your tab.

Oh, gee, thanks, Rebecca.

I mean, it's time for you
to pay your tab.

Me? I paid it last month.

Okay, okay, fine.

� Blue on blue... hea...

No.

� Cherish is the word
that I... �

No.

� In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby

Right, Sam,
I was insane.

I'll find it.

Sam, why don't you try
"Che Gelida Manina"

from La Boheme?

It can be almost achingly
poignant when executed correctly

and it does turn Lilith
into a cheap tramp.

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,

aren't you overlooking
the obvious here?

Yeah? What's that?

"Ballad of The Green Berets."

Oh, that's a great song.

� Fighting soldiers
from the sky. �

Anybody who isn't totally moved
by that song

is somebody
I don't want to know.

Cliff, in honor
of that song,

why don't you put on
a little green beret,

go outside and sit
on a land mine?

Oh, there you are, Cliff.

Ooh, it's Cliff now, eh?

Training must be going
very well.

She's a natural.

I'm really sorry
about today.

I can't believe I missed that
entire apartment building.

Ah, the tradition
continues.

Listen, Margaret,
why don't we sit
down over here

away from those who
merely wait for the mail?

There you go.

Park it right there.

I just want to tell you, Cliff,

that I couldn't have made it
through training without you.

You'll be graduating
with honors.

Really?

Well, how could you not, with
the recommendation I gave you?

Oh, Cliff, thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

In honor of your achievement,
I, uh,

went out and got you
a little gift.

Thank you.

You really shouldn't have.

Arch supports.

Yeah, yeah.

I got you the large size, too.

I noticed you've got a pretty
hefty pair of dogs down there.

Cliff, you are so considerate.

What we've been through together
has been so special.

Yeah.

I wish there was a way
I could be closer to you.

Ah, scootch on over.

No, I didn't...
Oh, never mind.

This is so embarrassing.

I'm not good at this.
I mean,

why would a man
like you

even consider
someone like me?

What? What in God's name are you
trying to say here?

Cliff, do you find me
attractive?

I mean, physically?

Cliff, do you want
to be with me?

I want to be with you.

So it's a date.

I'll come over to your place
tomorrow night.

My place?

No. hey, Margaret, Margaret,
whoa, hold on there.

Listen, uh, last month
my mother came out
and stayed a while,

and she got to know
the neighbors real well,

and I don't want word
getting back to her

that her son
does bad things.

Then, uh, why don't we meet
at that little motel

just outside Zone 27?

Tomorrow night
after work?

Yeah, I guess
I could make it.

( knocking )

Hi, Cliff.

Hi, Margaret.

Come on in.

I, uh, hope you
like the room.

It's... it's got a view.

Oh, the ice machine.

It's just like you
to think of everything.

So...

So.

So, uh, let me grab
your jacket there.

( chuckles )

Cliff, I know
this is an awkward moment.

Couldn't we just
somehow get past it?

I'm for that.

( shrieks )

Oh, Maggie!
Maggie! Maggie!

Oh, Cliff!
( knocking )
Oh, Maggie!

Yes?

MAN:
It's the police!

My first time
and I get arrested.

We aren't doing
anything illegal.

Answer the door.

( both chuckling )

Yes, officer?

Excuse me.

We're questioning
all the guests.

Do you know anything

about this postal
vehicle parked outside?

It was reported stolen.

I, uh, no, I don't know anything
about it, Officer.

Sorry to bother you.

Yeah, not at all, sir.

What, are you crazy?

You, you drove a postal vehicle
to a sleazy motel?!

I was running late, and I didn't
want to keep you waiting.

Keep me waiting?

Well, for crying out loud,
Margaret.

You signed that vehicle out
in your own name.

Oh, boy.

You've had it now.
You've had it.

Oh, they're gonna drum you right
out of the service.

Well, Cliff,
you've got to help me.

You've got to
make up a story
to cover for me.

You want me to lie?

You want me to jeopardize
my career?

This is my life.

This is my dream.

This is my shoulder.

This is our story.

Hello, Mrs. Howe?

Um, I work with your daughter.

My name is Sam Malone.

See, I'm calling

to find out what Rebecca's
favorite song was

when she was in school.

We're throwing this little party
for her.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh, well, thank you.

Yes, I do. Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

"You've Lost That Loving
Feeling."

Oh, no, Sam,
I'm just a little tired.

No, Woody, no.

That's Rebecca's song.

Hold the bar down here
for a minute, will ya?

I got to get something
out of my car.

Hey, Sammy.

Woody, a bottle of bubbly,
tout de suite.

All right, Cliffie's in
a celebrating mood.

That hearing must have gone
pretty well, huh?

Perfect, Norm.

Margaret was completely
exonerated.

You really snowed 'em, huh?

Like a blizzard in Buffalo,
my friend.

Yeah, I told the supervisor
that we were set upon

by some armed thugs who then
commandeered the vehicle

and took it for a joyride.

A joyride in a mail truck?

Cliffie, I've beaten those
things on foot.

Clavin, what's come over you?

I mean you're lying
to your superiors,

you're breaking rules,
you're covering up.

It's almost like you're
developing a personality.

Well, Carla, the King of England
abdicated his throne

for the love of a good woman.

The least I could do
is tell a little fib.

Well, as we say
down at the post office,

here's looking up
your address.

Come on, Maggie,
bottoms up.

I can't, Cliff.

Why?

How can we celebrate?

We dishonored the uniform.

I don't feel worthy to wear it.

Yeah, I understand.

Look, uh...

why don't we go
back to that motel,

lie down and talk about it, huh?

No, Cliff.

Do you think I fell for you

because you're a handsome,
sexy man?

I fell for you because
you're handsome inside.

But now, even though I'm the one
that corrupted you,

you are corrupt.

We're both dirty inside.

Well, let's go back
to the motel,

they cater to people like us.

No, I can't be
with you anymore.

I don't feel what I
felt before. I'm sorry.

Well, uh, is there any way
we could, you know,

get that feeling back?

We can tell
them the truth.

Oh, no, Margaret.

See, if you tell them the truth,
they're gonna know that I lied.

Yes, but with your record,

the worst that will
happen to us,

is that we'll get
a slap on the wrist,

and then we can get on
with our lives.

You know what's going
to happen, don't ya?

What we did back at that motel

is going to become part
of the postal record.

I can live with that.

Me, too.

Do you think they'd give us
a copy of that?

You think they really rode
the carnal carrousel?

I think it's possible.

What a thought.

I know.

If you don't mind, I'd kind
of like to forget it.

Hey, everybody.

This is Station WSAM.

50,000 watts of power-packed
love coming your way.

I'll be spinning
the platters that matter here,

and this next moldy oldie is
dedicated to the one I lust.

( knocking )

REBECCA:
Who is it?

The Righteous Brothers.
Uh-oh.

Hello there, butter knees.

� Whoa, my love

� My darling

� I've hungered for your touch

� A long lonely time

� And time...

( keyboard keys clattering )

� Goes by so slowly

� And time can do so much

� Are you still mine?

� I need your love...

Rebecca, this tab, look...

� I need your love...

( music stops )

So, uh, I can pay this
anytime you want.

I don't know what got into me.

Please, apologize to Vera.

Are you kidding?

After that, Vera should
apologize to me.

Hey, Mr. Peterson, how'd
it go with Miss Howe?

Much better than
I expected, Woody.

A slap on the wrist
she says.

With your record, all we'll get
is a severe reprimand, she says.

So what happens?

She gets fired and I get six
weeks walking dreaded Zone 19.

Zone 19?

Rottweiler Ridge, Norm.

Oh, what the heck.

At least I won back the respect
of the woman I love, huh?

Maggie,
what are you doing here?

Cliff, I've got to talk to you.

What's up?

After I was fired, I wandered
around aimlessly,

nowhere to go and didn't know
what to do.

And as I was crossing
the bridge,

I actually thought I'd do
something desperate.

Oh, no, you don't mean...

Yes, UPS.

Then I thought, why
should I do that?

There are alternatives.

And I came up with
a wonderful idea.

The Canadian Postal Service.

Canada?

Geez, why would you want
to go up there?

The mail's the mail, Cliff.

It knows no national boundaries.

Come with me.

What?

I've got two tickets, Cliff.

We could start a new life
there together.

Geez, Maggie, I don't know.

Go, marry her, be happy.

Just don't have any children.

What the heck, I mean,
we've come this far.

We might as well go the whole
nine yards, huh?

Let's go!

Hold on a second.

I'll be right with you.

Normie, pal of mine,

I'll be seeing ya.

It's for the best.

Cliff, did you just kiss
me on the neck?

I don't know what it is.

Nobody can keep their
lips off me today.

Fras, take care of yourself.

Carla, I forgive you.

Sammy.
Cliff, wait a minute.

Hey, man, just think about this
for a minute.

You've only known the girl
for about a week.

I mean, all you've shared is one
night in a motel and a huge lie.

That's enough for me, Sammy.

Cliff, why don't you consider

what you'd be giving up.

Your job, your seniority,
your pension.

Hey, Doc, have a gander

at what I'm going
to be gaining.

All right, Maggie, hitch up
those huskies.

Canada, here we come.

Uh, Cliff, Cliff...
Wait a minute, man.

Give this some thought.

Think about what
you're doing here.

I know what you guys are doing,
and I appreciate it,

but there's nothing you
could do or say

that would make me
change my mind.

� Fearless men who jump
and die �

� Men who mean
just what they say �

� The brave men
of the Green Beret. �

( all humming "Ballad
of The Green Beret" )

( humming continues )

Margaret, you're
a fine woman,

but I can't leave
my country.

( humming continues )

My place is here,
in America.

I can't leave my home.

Can't you, can't you
stay here with me?

I'm a mail carrier, Cliff.

I have to deliver
the mail.

I understand.

( humming continues )

But Cliff, it'll be
so terrible.

I'll... I'll be so cold
and all alone.

Who will keep me warm?

You'll do fine, Margaret.

Women have that
extra layer of fat.

Carry on, O'Keefe.

I'll never forget
you, Cliff Clavin.

Good-bye.

� 100 men will test one day

� But only three wear
the Green Beret. �