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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,900
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,800
Woody, I have a lot
3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:07,800
of work to do here,
4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,800
so please make sure
I'm not disturbed.
5
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,700
WOODY:
Yes, ma'am.
6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,800
( knocking )
7
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,100
Yes?
8
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,100
Miss Howe?
9
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,500
You want me
to hold business
and personal calls?
10
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,700
Yes.
11
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,500
You got it.
12
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,200
( knocking )
13
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,700
Yes?
14
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,200
Miss Howe?
15
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,200
Uh, what if it's an emergency,
16
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,900
or something
only you can handle?
17
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,800
Woody, I'm turning the bar
over to you.
18
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:39,500
I have complete confidence.
19
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,074
Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET
20
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,500
( knocking )
21
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,700
Yes?!
22
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,400
Miss Howe?
23
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,400
I want you to know
24
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,300
how much I appreciate
your confidence in me.
25
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:57,600
I won't let you down.
26
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,600
( sighs )
27
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,900
( knocking )
28
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,000
Woody, I am trying
29
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,100
to get some work done here,
and you are driving me crazy!
30
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,600
Now, get out of here,
and leave me alone!
31
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,000
( sobbing ):
I'm sorry, Miss Howe.
32
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,700
� Sometimes you want to go
33
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:40,100
� Where everybody
knows your name �
34
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:44,400
� And they're always glad
you came �
35
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,000
� You want to be
where you can see �
36
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,700
� Our troubles
are all the same �
37
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:53,500
� You want to go where
everybody knows your name. �
38
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,600
Hey, Fras,
new briefcase?
39
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,400
No. It's my new
portable cellular telephone,
40
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,400
the answer to every busy
therapist's prayers.
41
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,500
You see, with this,
I can instantly
get in touch
42
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,600
with patients
in crisis.
43
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,900
Who knows how many
lives it may save?
44
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
Looks cool, too?
45
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
Doesn't it?
46
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,200
Yeah.
47
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,300
( phone rings )
48
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,500
Oh, excuse me.
49
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,400
Oh, geez.
50
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,700
I seem to have forgotten
the combination.
51
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:34,100
( phone rings )
52
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,300
I was certain I programmed
Lilith's birthday
53
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:38,000
so I'd remember it.
54
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,200
Oh, no?
55
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,800
My birthday.
56
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,700
( ringing continues )
57
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:46,000
Frasier, that's getting
a little annoying.
58
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,300
Yeah, yeah.
59
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,700
Of course.
60
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,300
Freud's birthday.
61
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,800
Hello. Cheers.
62
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,600
( phone rings )
63
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,800
Two drafts, Sam.
64
00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,500
Coming right up.
65
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,900
Shouldn't you be on your way
to the airport?
66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000
No. Eddie called
from Louisville.
67
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,200
He said the
performer's plane
68
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,300
was gonna be
a little late
69
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:05,200
so he'd meet
me here.
70
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,800
Oh, you must be getting
pretty excited, huh?
71
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,600
Yeah. I thought
that ice show
72
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,600
would never get
back to Boston.
73
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,300
Yeah, it has been tough.
74
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,300
He misses me.
Yeah.
75
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,200
You know? Kids miss him.
76
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,100
Not to mention
that I have moved
77
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,500
into my sexual peak.
78
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,300
You've been there
since you were 12.
79
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,700
When you find a place you like,
why leave it?
80
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,600
( phone rings )
81
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,200
MAN:
Answer the
damn phone!
82
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,400
Sorry, sorry.
83
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,600
Oh, wait.
84
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,600
Jung's address.
85
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,700
Finally.
86
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,100
Hello.
87
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,100
No, there is no Itzhak here.
88
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:47,100
Woody, here are your tickets.
89
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,600
Tickets?
Woody gets tickets?
90
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:49,900
Company season tickets.
91
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:50,700
Patriots-Dolphins tonight.
92
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,300
Two on the 40-yard line.
93
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,100
Ooh-ooh-oh-wee!
94
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,700
Oh. You know,
thanks, Miss Howe.
95
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:57,600
You know, you are
the greatest boss I ever had.
96
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,900
( clears throat )
97
00:03:58,900 --> 00:03:59,900
I mean...
98
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,700
you're the prettiest boss
I ever had.
99
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,300
( clears throat )
100
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,900
I mean, thanks.
101
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,300
So, uh,
102
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,900
Woodster, what time
we leaving, bud?
103
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,400
Well, Mr. Peterson,
you'd be interested
104
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,700
in going to something like this?
105
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,500
Yeah.
Dit-dit-dit-dit...
106
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,500
Fair is fair.
107
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,100
What?
Now, Woody...
108
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,500
didn't I, uh,
invite you
109
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,800
to a very special occasion
just last week?
110
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:21,700
That's right, Mr. Clavin.
111
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,000
I sure did enjoy
that garage sale.
112
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000
Excuse me, but why do I seem
113
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,600
to have been
automatically excluded?
114
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,700
You have to go
home to your wife.
115
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:28,700
What about your wife?
116
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,900
You can't be this dense
with your patients.
117
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,800
Hey, Carla, I'm back.
118
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,000
Hey.
Hey.
119
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:38,700
Hey, everybody.
120
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:39,900
N-n-not-not here.
121
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:40,700
Everybody's watching.
122
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,200
Excuse me.
I-I'll be right back.
123
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,100
I just got
to show Eddie something.
124
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:44,900
( clears throat )
125
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,700
Oh, Eddie.
126
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:50,700
( moaning )
127
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,000
( door rattling )
128
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,600
Ah, gee, it's
good to be home.
129
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,900
Give me a beer,
Sam... here.
130
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,600
Thanks, Sam.
131
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,000
Yeah.
( gasps )
132
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,600
A charm bracelet
from Cincinnati!
133
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,900
Yeah. There's
a little beer stein,
134
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,500
little bowl
of sauerkraut,
135
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,600
and Pete Rose's head.
136
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,300
Ooh, Carla, can I borrow it?
137
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,300
Fat chance.
138
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,400
This better not
turn my wrist green.
139
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,600
No.
140
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,300
Hey.
141
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,400
Hey, buddy.
142
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,400
How's the show doing?
143
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,500
Oh, terrific.
144
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,700
We signed a new headliner--
145
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,500
Franzi Schrempf.
146
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,500
Oh, you mean,
the East German gold medalist?
147
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,200
That's her.
148
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,800
She's joining the show
here in Boston.
149
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,700
Sure would like
to meet her
150
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,000
without having to go
to that stupid ice show.
151
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000
Mm.
152
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,100
You may be in luck, Norm,
153
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,900
because I invited her
and some of the cast
154
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,000
to drop by here later.
155
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,200
Oh, boy.
Hey, hey...
156
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,600
Oh, God, she is amazing.
157
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,800
She actually grabs the blade
158
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,100
and touches the back
of her head with it.
159
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,400
Can you do this?
160
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Hey, are the kids home?
161
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:58,900
I haven't talked to them
since I got back.
162
00:05:59,000 --> 00:05:59,700
I want to give
them a call.
163
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,400
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
All right.
164
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,800
Just make sure
you identify yourself by name.
165
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,100
Just saying, "It's Dad"
166
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,200
leaves too much room
for confusion.
167
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,200
CLIFF:
You know, Carla,
168
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,700
according to the,
uh, Weekly Gabber,
169
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,500
this Franzi Schrempf
has affairs
170
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,300
with every man
she's worked with.
171
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,000
I'm telling you,
she's a man eater.
172
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,200
Look, Clavin,
I'm not worried,
173
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:20,500
so just shut up.
174
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,700
There's a lot of things wrong
with Eddie,
175
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,200
but I know I can trust him.
176
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,200
We've been married
for over a year now,
177
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,400
and not once
in that entire time
178
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,500
has his eye wandered.
179
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,600
Well, his good eye.
180
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,300
I'm talking completely
over her head.
181
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,900
I mean, she must be,
like, triple-jointed
or something.
182
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,700
Hey, Eddie,
Eddie, come here.
183
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,300
You know, I was just laughing
at something stupid Cliff said.
184
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,500
He says that this Franzi
has a thing
185
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,100
for the men she works with.
186
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,100
Says she changes lovers
187
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,300
more times
than most people change socks.
188
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,400
I don't have anything
to worry about
189
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,000
with you
in that area, do I?
190
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,100
No, honey, not at all.
191
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,400
I put a fresh pair
on this morning.
192
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,000
Hey, here she is.
193
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,400
Everybody...
194
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,100
I want you to meet
Franzi Schrempf.
195
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:07,800
( hooting and chattering )
196
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,800
( clapping )
197
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,400
SAM:
Welcome
198
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,600
to the bar, Franzi.
199
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,500
We're all, uh...
200
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,700
Well, we're big fans of yours.
201
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:13,800
Thank you.
202
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,600
But we were
just wondering,
203
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,000
now that you're here
in Boston, um,
204
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,100
well, what are your plans?
205
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,100
Well, while I'm here,
I would like to wear blue jeans,
206
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:23,400
see a Tom Cruise movie,
and eat a Big Mac.
207
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,900
Whoa. Sexy, dumb,
and a cheap date.
208
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,000
( laughing )
209
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,700
Well, uh, in the
210
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:32,700
spirit of detente,
211
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,600
I wouldn't mind
having some arms talks
212
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,800
with Franzi.
213
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,500
( laughing )
214
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,700
I'd like to see her try
to control my arms.
215
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:40,700
( laughing )
216
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,000
I wouldn't object
217
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,000
to a little mutual
on-site inspection.
218
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,200
See what kind of payload
she can deliver.
219
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,300
( laughing )
220
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,700
Reduce missiles
in Western Europe.
221
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,000
( Woody laughs )
222
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,400
EDDIE:
Hey, Sam,
223
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,100
she is something, eh?
SAM:
Yeah.
224
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:06,100
You know, if I was younger,
taller, handsomer,
225
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,500
and had a brain
in my head,
226
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,400
I never would have
started this sentence.
227
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,400
You think she's pretty,
don't you?
228
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,700
Well, yeah, if
you're into looks,
229
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,300
which I'm not.
230
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,900
Just don't get any ideas.
231
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:19,700
Ideas?
232
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,100
Franzi doesn't
even know I exist.
233
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,000
Eddie, do you have a light?
234
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,800
You know, I'm sort of
the host here tonight.
235
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,300
I-I better take
care of this.
236
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,300
Sure.
237
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,300
( indistinct chatter )
238
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,700
CLIFF:
Uh!
239
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,300
Paper covers rock,
240
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,800
and the mailman goes
to the Patriots game.
241
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:36,800
Oh, that is absurd.
242
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:37,900
You're telling me
243
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,500
that if I took my rock
and hurled it,
244
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,900
it wouldn't smash
right through
245
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:41,500
that puny piece
of paper?
246
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,400
Oh, will you come on?!
247
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,400
You're just crying baby shoes
248
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,700
'cause you're not going
to the game.
249
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:46,700
Oh...
Baby shoes...
250
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,800
Children,
children,
251
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,400
there's a much
more fair way
252
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,700
to decide this. Now,
253
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,000
foot race to the corner
and back.
254
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,200
The winner goes to the game.
255
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,400
False start. False start!
256
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,200
I'm running this race
under protest.
257
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,200
Carla, I don't think
you have anything
258
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,400
to worry about
with Eddie.
259
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,700
But I don't know.
260
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,800
I get this sense of doom.
261
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,100
Maybe it's intuition,
and maybe it's the fact
262
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,200
that every time
Eddie gets excited,
263
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,500
he starts sweating
like a ditch digger.
264
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,400
Mom, you'll never believe this.
265
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,700
I'm calling you
from a briefcase.
266
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,600
Yeah?
267
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,500
Say, Franzi, uh,
268
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,100
you know, I was
just thinking,
269
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,700
seeing how you're
new in town,
270
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:34,400
how about I show you
our fair city?
271
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,000
I do not think so.
272
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,600
We have just met.
273
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,500
That's not proper
in my country.
274
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,600
I drive a 'Vette.
275
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,100
I drive a Porsche.
276
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:45,000
Oh, well, maybe we could
race sometime.
277
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,100
Oh...
278
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,100
( panting )
279
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,800
Hey, congratulations,
Mr. Peterson.
280
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:53,900
You're the winner.
281
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,500
Put it on my headstone.
282
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,100
( panting )
283
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,500
Well, congratulations, Norm.
284
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,600
( panting )
285
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,400
You won the first leg
of our triathlon.
286
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,100
Now, onto the....
287
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,400
Now, onto the, uh, biking
and swimming portions.
288
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,300
Anybody know
this guy?
289
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,700
We found him face down
at the top of the steps.
290
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,500
Never saw him before.
291
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,800
Oh, hey,
Mr. Peterson,
292
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,900
we better hurry,
or we're gonna
miss the kickoff.
293
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:21,700
What? Get out of here.
294
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,600
What are you...?
295
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,700
Come on, come on.
296
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,100
Got to run.
297
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:25,600
Oh, no...
298
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,000
Woody!
299
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,200
No, man! Wait.
300
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,200
Excuse me.
301
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,900
I think the guy on the steps
would like something to drink.
302
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,800
We don't do takeout.
303
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,000
Hey, uh, Franzi,
what's the matter?
304
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,200
Sammy doesn't spin
your propeller?
305
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:53,300
He's rude, crude
and very stupid.
306
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:57,300
I guess all the sweet,
simple guys are taken.
307
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,900
Don't you forget it.
308
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,900
( sighs )
309
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,000
Say, I'll bet
with all that skating
310
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,500
you get pretty sore muscles.
311
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,700
Have you ever experienced
312
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:12,600
Sammy's all-American,
deep muscle massage?
313
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,300
Have you ever experienced
knowing when to quit?
314
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,400
( laughs )
315
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,800
Are you sure you're
not from around here?
316
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:21,700
Eddie?
317
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:22,600
Yes.
318
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,900
Would you be so kind
319
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,200
to give me a lift back
to the hotel?
320
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,100
Oh, sure, Franzi.
Anything.
321
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,300
You're so sweet.
322
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,500
( laughs )
323
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,600
CLIFF:
Well,
324
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,600
there he goes, Carla.
325
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,800
Don't say I didn't warn you.
326
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:47,400
You got to give her credit.
327
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,700
She didn't say it.
328
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:05,500
Say, uh, Rebecca,
was it a big hassle
329
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,200
getting those company tickets
for Woody?
330
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,100
No.
331
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,200
Can you get some for me?
332
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,300
No.
333
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,200
I get it.
Employees only, huh?
334
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,800
No.
335
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,900
Gotcha. Can't go
to the well too often.
336
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,600
No.
337
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,400
Then you just don't want
to get 'em for me?
338
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,200
Yes.
339
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,600
Well, no harm in asking.
340
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,800
Man, what is with
these East German babes?
341
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,800
All week long
I have been trying:
342
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,400
phone calls, flowers,
the whole thing.
343
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,700
What am I doing wrong?
344
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,100
Well, Sam, I see
no alternative.
345
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,000
You're just going
to have to become a communist.
346
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,100
What do you do?
347
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,300
Do you apply for membership
or something?
348
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,800
I cannot believe my ears.
349
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,700
What?
350
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,800
We're not talking
about the Moose Lodge here.
351
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,200
We're talking communists,
352
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,000
the most reprehensible
perpetrators
353
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,400
of social and economic
oppression ever known
to mankind.
354
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,500
I mean,
they brainwash you,
355
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,000
they put you to work
in some tractor factory,
356
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000
and as for your creature
comforts, forget it.
357
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,200
Yeah, but the stuff you had
358
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,800
before you joined is still
your stuff, am I right?
359
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,000
Ordering.
360
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,400
What are you ordering, Carla?
361
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,500
I forget.
362
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,400
You know where to reach me.
363
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,800
Carla, are you preoccupied
or something?
364
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,400
You don't still think
Eddie's messing around
with Franzi, do you?
365
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,200
I have my suspicions.
366
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,000
Well, what evidence
do you have?
367
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,000
I'll tell you what I have.
368
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,900
I have nothing!
369
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,700
That was the one good thing
about Nick.
370
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,200
With Nick,
I always knew for sure.
371
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,000
How?
372
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,300
He told me.
373
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,600
I mean,
374
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:55,300
Nick used to stick Polaroids
in the family album.
375
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,400
Carla, you don't have
anything to worry about.
376
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,600
I am telling you
377
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,300
Franzi would never date anyone
from that crummy ice show.
378
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:06,900
I can't believe that dame!
She said she can't see me
379
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,800
because she's fallen
for some guy in the ice show.
380
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,400
( gasps )
381
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,900
Carla, she's probably
just saying that
382
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,900
because she wants
to get Sam to quit bugging her.
383
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,300
I'll have to remember
that one.
384
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,500
She's dating somebody,
all right.
385
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:21,800
Get a load of this
little tidbit of gossip.
386
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,500
"One international skating star
was seen spooning spaghetti
387
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,700
with a short, dark,
melon-faced companion."
388
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,700
Eddie!
389
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,000
SAM:
Oh, come on, Carla.
390
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,900
"Short, dark, melon-faced"?
391
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,700
I mean, that could be anybody
in the show.
392
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,000
Yeah, guess that explains why
393
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,200
it's not one of the more
popular ice shows.
394
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:46,200
That no-good, two-timing
scum-sucking, son of a...
395
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,400
Hey, honey bear, come give
your lover man a hug.
396
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,500
( screams )
397
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,600
Hey, Eddie, Eddie.
398
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:03,600
Hey, do you mind if I borrow
Carla here for a minute?
399
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,900
No problem.
400
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:07,600
It'll give me time
to look for my tooth.
401
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,100
Hey, Frasier, help him
out there, will ya?
402
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,600
Tell him one of your funny
psychiatry stories, will ya?
403
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,100
Will you sit down?
404
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,200
Now, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
405
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,800
I'm killing
the horny little frog!
406
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,100
Just come on.
407
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,800
Come here, will you?
408
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,100
Look, murder is not the answer
409
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,800
to every one
of life's little problems,
410
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,100
you know that?
411
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,300
First of all,
412
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,100
you don't even know
if he did anything wrong,
413
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,800
and second, if he was
a little tempted,
414
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,500
maybe you pushed
him into it.
415
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,000
Oh, what are you
talking about?
416
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,100
Did you ever think
417
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,300
that maybe you aren't
exactly nice to the guy?
418
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,200
Sammy, you know me.
419
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,800
This is as nice
as it gets.
420
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,000
But this is the way
you handle everything
in your life,
421
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,600
and it never works.
422
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,600
Okay, O God
of Good Relationships,
423
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,600
what do you suggest I do?
424
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,500
Carla, Carla,
425
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,900
you got to let Eddie know
how you feel inside.
426
00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:00,800
You must embrace him
427
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,200
not, not just
with your heart,
428
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:03,800
but with your very soul.
429
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,100
Give unto him and
he will give unto you.
430
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,100
Okay, no more for this clown.
431
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,400
Listen,
432
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,800
I'm talking
about the occasional back rub,
433
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,100
the general all-around
pampering.
434
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:25,900
You know, maybe buy one of
those low-cut, frilly dresses.
435
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,100
Oh, you mean
436
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,300
that "total woman" BS?
437
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,800
I find that
completely repulsive.
438
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:32,500
Well, that explains
439
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,500
all the men beating down
your door, doesn't it?
440
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:40,500
Listen, you got to become
the ideal woman, you know?
441
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,400
Treat him like a god,
cater to his every whim.
442
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,200
Oh, yuck! I can't do that.
I can't do frilly.
443
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,400
You know what they say.
444
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,800
"You can catch more flies
with honey than with vinegar."
445
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,400
Maybe I shouldn't
be butting in here,
446
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,500
but you can catch the most
with dead squirrels.
447
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,800
Come on.
448
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,900
Guys, guys,
449
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,600
I am not going
to do this, okay?
450
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,800
I'm going to get to the
bottom of it my own way.
451
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,700
So, I say to this patient,
452
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,100
"Look, you're never going
to get well
453
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,700
until you get over
this paranoia."
454
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,200
And he says to me,
"I was afraid you'd say that."
455
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,200
Well, you had to be there.
456
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,300
Your phone is ringing.
457
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,000
Ooh.
458
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,700
Why did you attack me
like that?
459
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:40,600
I'm sorry, Eddie.
460
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,800
Look, I've been very tense
lately.
461
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,500
Can I ask you something?
462
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,900
Sure.
463
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,600
Are you happy with me?
464
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,500
Boy, am I.
465
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:50,800
No complaints?
466
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:51,600
Not one complaint.
467
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,300
You're lying.
468
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,800
Everybody has one complaint.
469
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,100
I want one complaint
470
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,600
or I'm not going
to believe you're happy.
471
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,000
Well, okay.
472
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,400
What?
473
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,300
Remember the other night
474
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,500
when I asked you
if I could have
475
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,300
a few buddies over
for poker,
476
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,100
and you shoved my face
into the refrigerator?
477
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,300
Well, I guess
I didn't like that.
478
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:15,000
Listen, Eddie, I want you
to promise me something.
479
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,800
I want you
to promise me
480
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:22,700
that if you ever find someone
who makes you happier than I do
481
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,000
that you'll tell me.
482
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,800
Oh, yeah, right.
483
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,000
What do you mean by that?
484
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:26,700
You'd kill me.
485
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,900
No, I won't.
486
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,800
Now tell me the truth.
Are you having an affair?
487
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,700
No!
488
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:31,900
Did you believe me
489
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,200
when I said
I wouldn't kill you?
490
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,000
No!
Then if you were having
an affair,
491
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,400
you would still be saying no!
492
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,100
Yes! And if I weren't
having a affair,
493
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,200
I'd still say no!
494
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,900
Honey, look, I got
to tell you something.
495
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,200
I have a real bad headache
from this conversation.
496
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,900
I need to lie down
in a dark room.
497
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,200
Where do I go for frilly?
498
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:08,200
All right,
I will see your nickel
499
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,600
and I'll raise you
a nickel.
500
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,900
Too rich for my blood.
501
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,300
Hey, honey,
more chips and dip.
502
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,300
Right away,
sweetheart.
503
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,200
Hey, Ed, what's
with the old lady?
504
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,900
Why is she
acting so nice?
505
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,600
I got no idea.
She's been doing it all week.
506
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,600
But I got no idea
how a car works either,
507
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,100
but I don't mind riding in one,
eh?
508
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:36,300
Shades of the Algonquin
Roundtable.
509
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,200
Here you are, sweetheart.
510
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,100
Just the way you like it.
511
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,700
Oh, thanks. I thought
you forgot us.
512
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,700
Oh, no! I was just carrying
another keg in from the garage.
513
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:55,800
( doorbell rings )
514
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,100
Oh, let me get that, baby face.
515
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,100
And when you're through with
that, could you grab me a beer?
516
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,600
Anything you want.
517
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,100
Me, too, please.
518
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,700
What do I look like,
a waitress?
519
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,200
Oh, Sam, thank God
it's you.
520
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,500
I think I'm hemorrhaging.
521
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,700
Don't worry about it.
522
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,100
I got some great news,
for you at least.
523
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,400
I went down to Franzi's
dressing room,
524
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,800
give her one last chance.
525
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,100
Guess who was there.
Her boyfriend.
526
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,900
Her boyfriend was there?
527
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,700
Yeah, yeah.
528
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,500
And Eddie's here?
529
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,600
Hey, Carla, beer me!
530
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:35,800
You think
Eddie looks like a melon.
531
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,000
Boy, I tell you,
532
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,600
you put a cantaloupe
up next to that guy's face,
533
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,900
I defy you
to tell the difference.
534
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:41,900
Hey, Carla,
535
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,800
Carla, what are you
doing out there,
536
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,500
growing the hops?
537
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,000
Right away, dear.
538
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,900
You know, maybe I'll join them
for a couple of hands of cards.
539
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:51,900
Don't bother.
540
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,700
The game's just
about to break up.
541
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,500
Thanks for the warning.
542
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,800
Hey, honey, we're running
a little low on dip.
543
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,500
You want some dip?
Mm-hmm.
544
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:05,400
Here's your dip
and your chips and your drinks
545
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,200
and your cards.
546
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,100
You want 'em?
Help yourselves.
547
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,800
I don't know about you guys.
I'm a little bushed.
548
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,300
You know, we really must get
together like this more often.
549
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,200
Oh, for God's sake, Norm.
Let the dog have the dip.
550
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:37,500
Now what the hell
was that all about?!
551
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,200
You never laid a hand
on that Franzi, did you?
552
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,100
Did you kiss her even?
Did you pinch her?
553
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,000
Did you do anything?
554
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,300
No, I swear it!
555
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,400
How could you
humiliate me like that?!
556
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,100
Franzi?
557
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,700
Carla, is that
what you're all upset about?
558
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,500
You think there's something
going on
559
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,600
between me and Franzi?
560
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:57,700
Listen, if that woman
threw herself at me,
561
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,400
I would have nothing
to do with her.
562
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,400
In fact, today at rehearsal
I saw how inhuman she could be.
563
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,400
She humiliated
one of the guys
564
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,100
just because he made
a little mistake.
565
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:07,600
Chewed him out
in front of everyone.
566
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,300
Actually spit on him.
567
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,900
If it upset you so much,
568
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,300
why didn't you
defend the guy?
569
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,100
I was the guy!
570
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:17,400
So nothing was going on
571
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,100
and you let me walk around
like Debbie Reynolds.
572
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,700
Why didn't you stop me?!
573
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,000
I thought maybe you were
pregnant again
574
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,700
and this was your way
of telling me.
575
00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,900
Well, you didn't have
to like it so much.
576
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,300
Like it?
It gave me the creeps.
577
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:31,800
Well, you certainly seemed
to like it
578
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:34,800
when you were making
all those stupid cracks
in front of your friends.
579
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,100
Well, you know
the competition
580
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,800
to be witty
in front of those guys.
581
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,500
Besides, honey, I mean,
582
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,800
isn't the important thing
I've been faithful to ya?
583
00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:52,100
You have been, haven't you?
584
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:53,300
Yeah.
585
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:57,200
Guess I kinda lost
sight of that.
586
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:04,100
I was never married to anyone
who was faithful before.
587
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:06,900
( scoffs )
588
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,900
You're really
a good guy, Eddie.
589
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:12,600
I don't deserve you,
590
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,200
but I'm going
to try to from now on.
591
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:16,000
I'm going to be
the perfect wife.
592
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,700
I don't want you
to be the perfect wife.
593
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,200
I want the girl
I married:
594
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,200
feisty, strong-willed,
and, well, downright nasty.
595
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:25,400
In a beautiful way.
596
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:28,000
You really mean that, Eddie?
597
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,300
Oh, you bet I do.
598
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:31,100
Then get your sorry butt
into the kitchen.
599
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:32,700
There's a sink full of dishes.
600
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:34,500
The garbage disposal
is clogged,
601
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:37,800
and there's a cat box
with your name on it.
602
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,400
What are you doing?
603
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,900
Oh, my sweetie is back.
604
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,400
Beat it.
605
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,106
54627
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