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1
00:00:02,499 --> 00:00:04,900
Cheers is filmed before a livestudio audience.
2
00:00:09,322 --> 00:00:14,076
( babies crying )
3
00:00:21,384 --> 00:00:25,121
( babies cooing and crying )
4
00:00:35,298 --> 00:00:40,185
( no audio )
5
00:00:42,906 --> 00:00:48,577
( babies cooing and crying )
6
00:00:57,554 --> 00:01:01,490
( piano playing )
7
00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:03,576
� Making your way in
the world today �
8
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:06,262
� Takes everything you've got
9
00:01:06,296 --> 00:01:11,400
� Taking a break from all your
worries sure would help a lot �
10
00:01:11,435 --> 00:01:18,875
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
11
00:01:18,992 --> 00:01:25,932
� Sometimes you want to go where
everybody knows your name �
12
00:01:25,966 --> 00:01:29,869
� And they're always
glad you came �
13
00:01:29,903 --> 00:01:33,389
� You want to be
where you can see �
14
00:01:33,423 --> 00:01:35,307
� Troubles are all the same
15
00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:41,280
� You want to be where everybody
knows your name �
16
00:01:41,314 --> 00:01:46,151
� You want to go where people
know people are all the same �
17
00:01:46,186 --> 00:01:50,623
� You want to go where everybody
knows your name. �
18
00:02:08,191 --> 00:02:11,878
So, did you get a chance
to see Carla's babies?
19
00:02:11,912 --> 00:02:12,962
Oh, we sure did.
20
00:02:12,996 --> 00:02:15,164
There are two of the cutest
little guys you've ever seen.
21
00:02:15,198 --> 00:02:17,699
Ah, who do they look like,
Carla or Eddie?
22
00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:18,334
Well, they're twins.
23
00:02:18,368 --> 00:02:20,352
They kind of look
like each other.
24
00:02:22,656 --> 00:02:25,424
What's this?
"Carla's Tips."
25
00:02:25,458 --> 00:02:26,842
Yeah, it was Carla's idea.
26
00:02:26,876 --> 00:02:29,178
She does some of her best
thinking in labor.
27
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:30,295
This is ridiculous.
28
00:02:30,329 --> 00:02:32,932
How does she expect to be tipped
if she's not even here?
29
00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:35,267
Well, actually,
she's doing a lot better
than she usually does.
30
00:02:36,937 --> 00:02:38,771
Hello, Samuel.
Hey.
31
00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:40,539
Well, pardon my appearance,
everybody.
32
00:02:40,573 --> 00:02:41,790
We always do.
33
00:02:42,426 --> 00:02:45,611
Sorry. I was covering for Carla.
34
00:02:45,645 --> 00:02:47,163
Oh, hey, you're doing
a fine job.
35
00:02:47,197 --> 00:02:49,415
The reason why I look like
I've been up all night
36
00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:50,583
is because, well,
I've been up all night
37
00:02:50,617 --> 00:02:52,818
reading that little opus.
38
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:54,753
All right,
Lust for Justice.
39
00:02:54,787 --> 00:02:56,288
Yeah, Vera talked me
into reading this.
40
00:02:56,323 --> 00:02:57,456
Oh, is she a fan?
41
00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,759
No, no. When Vera's
talking, I'll read
just about anything.
42
00:03:00,793 --> 00:03:02,561
Yeah. I almost
ruptured a disc
43
00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:04,230
delivering those
Book of the Month club copies
44
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:06,265
and I decided to see
what all the hooha was about.
45
00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:07,299
Yeah, two thumbs
up, right?
46
00:03:07,334 --> 00:03:08,900
Oh, yeah.
Finest piece of trash
47
00:03:08,935 --> 00:03:11,237
not written by a Junta or Jackie
in modern literature.
48
00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:15,040
Good Lord. Another piece
of salacious mind candy.
49
00:03:15,074 --> 00:03:18,176
God, this is over
600 pages long.
50
00:03:18,211 --> 00:03:20,412
Who could imagine
he'd know this many words?
51
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:22,732
Yeah, well I checked.
He uses a lot of them twice.
52
00:03:25,184 --> 00:03:26,418
CLIFF:
Yeah, well, Frasier,
53
00:03:26,452 --> 00:03:27,219
you want to
borrow it then?
54
00:03:27,254 --> 00:03:29,238
No way you'll find me
reading it.
55
00:03:29,272 --> 00:03:30,906
Just look at these reviews.
56
00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:32,207
Suit yourself.
57
00:03:32,242 --> 00:03:35,745
"I couldn't put it down."
( scoffs )
58
00:03:35,779 --> 00:03:38,514
( phone ringing )
59
00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:41,450
Cheers.
60
00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:44,787
Oh, yeah, she is.
Miss Howe, Mr. Drake.
61
00:03:44,821 --> 00:03:47,106
Mr. Drake?
62
00:03:47,108 --> 00:03:48,841
I wonder what he's
calling about.
63
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,676
Woody, how did he sound?
64
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:53,145
Happy, mad, pleasant, annoyed?
65
00:03:53,179 --> 00:03:54,463
Well, he sounds
66
00:03:54,498 --> 00:03:55,464
kind of weird.
67
00:03:55,498 --> 00:03:57,632
Like an old woman with a lisp
and a thick German accent.
68
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:00,519
Woody, that's his secretary.
69
00:04:00,553 --> 00:04:02,821
Oh, well, then she sounded
pretty happy.
70
00:04:06,809 --> 00:04:09,261
Hey, Anthony, Annie, what's up?
71
00:04:09,296 --> 00:04:13,065
Sam, I'm swallowing
my Tortelli pride
72
00:04:13,099 --> 00:04:14,333
to ask if
73
00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:16,468
I might borrow five bucks.
74
00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:18,537
That was very difficult
for him.
75
00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:19,321
Is it okay?
76
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:21,740
I want to get a present
for my mom and the twins.
77
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:22,842
Sure.
78
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:24,043
What are you going to get them?
79
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:25,127
Five bucks.
80
00:04:25,161 --> 00:04:27,779
She'll like that.
81
00:04:27,814 --> 00:04:28,747
Thanks, Sam.
82
00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:30,916
Hey, I don't know when I'll be
able to pay you back.
83
00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,051
Job market's
been really bad lately.
84
00:04:33,085 --> 00:04:35,921
I haven't been able to
find a job anywhere.
85
00:04:35,955 --> 00:04:38,123
Actually, we have an opening
for a temporary waitress
86
00:04:38,157 --> 00:04:40,325
to sub for your mom.
What do you think?
87
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,528
Ah, I don't want
to be a waitress.
88
00:04:42,562 --> 00:04:44,680
No, I was thinking about her.
89
00:04:44,714 --> 00:04:46,698
No, I don't want my
wife to work.
90
00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:48,667
I could do it if I want to.
91
00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:50,736
Nuh-uh.
Nuh-huh.
92
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:52,405
Nuh-uh.
Nuh-huh.
93
00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:53,305
Nuh-uh.
94
00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:55,073
W-Why don't you two
talk about it.
95
00:04:55,107 --> 00:04:56,375
Of course we will.
96
00:04:56,409 --> 00:04:59,211
Communication is
the cornerstone of our marriage.
97
00:04:59,246 --> 00:05:01,914
Nuh-uh.
Nuh-huh.
98
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:07,219
Well, well, well.
Hey, Normie,
99
00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:08,821
look who's developed
a lust for justice.
100
00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:10,422
Yeah.
101
00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:12,624
Do you mind?
Lorenzo is hemorrhaging.
102
00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,026
Oh, he dies.
103
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,412
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
104
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,613
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
105
00:05:17,647 --> 00:05:19,781
We don't want to spoil the part
where Monica first comes in.
106
00:05:19,816 --> 00:05:21,884
Were you shocked or what when
she turned out to be a man?
107
00:05:21,918 --> 00:05:22,718
CLIFF:
Oh, no, no, I saw...
108
00:05:22,753 --> 00:05:24,470
� I wish I was
in the land of cotton �
109
00:05:24,504 --> 00:05:25,838
� Old times there
are not forgotten �
110
00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:28,306
� Look away, look away,
look away... �
111
00:05:28,341 --> 00:05:31,209
You know, sometimes I like
to play little guessing games.
112
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:32,978
Do you like to play
little guessing games, guys?
113
00:05:33,013 --> 00:05:34,113
( all agree )
114
00:05:34,147 --> 00:05:35,964
Let's play a little
guessing game.
115
00:05:35,999 --> 00:05:39,902
I just spoke to Mr. Drake
and he suggested that I hire
116
00:05:39,936 --> 00:05:42,872
a young girl he knows
to cover for Carla.
117
00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:46,108
Now, why do you suppose a busy,
important man like Mr. Drake
118
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:47,776
would take time out of his day
119
00:05:47,811 --> 00:05:51,246
to get a simple cocktail
waitress a job?
120
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,865
Oh, oh, oh.
Uh, she's, uh...
Norm.
121
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,033
She's a friend of the family.
122
00:05:55,068 --> 00:05:55,768
Possible.
123
00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:57,235
He's, uh, paying off a debt.
124
00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:57,920
I like that.
125
00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:58,804
He feels sorry for her.
126
00:05:58,838 --> 00:06:00,306
He does have a soft heart.
127
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:01,440
Maybe she's
sleeping with him.
128
00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:03,625
Of course that little tramp
is sleeping with him!
129
00:06:05,445 --> 00:06:07,296
Do you think
I'm stupid?
130
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:08,664
Is this still part of
the guessing game?
131
00:06:08,698 --> 00:06:09,765
No, no, no.
132
00:06:14,554 --> 00:06:16,922
This is just too perfect.
133
00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:21,127
Evan found a nice little bowl
for his goldfish to swim in.
134
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:24,946
Safe, out of the reach of
the other executive sharks.
135
00:06:24,981 --> 00:06:26,365
Obviously, he forgot about
136
00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:27,483
the Great White Sammy.
137
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:30,302
( all snicker )
138
00:06:30,336 --> 00:06:33,272
Well, we've reached
a compromise, Sam.
139
00:06:33,274 --> 00:06:34,673
I'm taking the relief
waitress job.
140
00:06:34,707 --> 00:06:35,807
SAM:
Great.
141
00:06:35,842 --> 00:06:36,958
What's the compromise?
142
00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:39,211
I'm letting her.
143
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,946
Wait a minute.
144
00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:42,714
I am in charge around here
145
00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:44,383
and it is my responsibility
to hire people,
146
00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:47,552
and I have just be informed
that I am hiring someone else.
147
00:06:50,373 --> 00:06:52,090
They're going through
a tough time right now.
148
00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:54,693
Why don't you let Annie
work just for tips?
149
00:06:54,727 --> 00:06:56,061
Tips?
!
Yeah.
150
00:06:56,096 --> 00:06:58,997
If I'm gonna work here,
I demand a set salary,
151
00:06:59,032 --> 00:07:00,866
plus tips, plus
152
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:04,536
two coffee breaks,
plus weekends off.
153
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,271
That is completely
out of the question.
154
00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:08,190
Okay, then I demand
that tip thing.
155
00:07:08,225 --> 00:07:10,025
It's a deal.
156
00:07:14,664 --> 00:07:19,635
I need a Scotch, rocks,
two white wines and a draft.
157
00:07:19,669 --> 00:07:21,103
Okeydokey.
158
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:24,056
Come on, corn cob. Arriba.
159
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:29,494
Boy, I tell ya,
Annie's getting to be
a real pro, huh?
160
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:32,147
Yeah, she's sure rattling off
those drink orders, huh?
161
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:33,381
That's nothing.
How about the way
162
00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:34,650
she puts me in my place?
163
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:39,121
Can you believe it?
164
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:43,725
Her first day on the job and
Evan's little tart is late.
165
00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:45,461
That's because she
knows I can't do
anything about it
166
00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:47,646
because her lover boy
is the big boss.
167
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,299
Isn't she just
the queen of gall?
168
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:53,419
Oh, no, that was Charlemagne's
wife, I think.
169
00:07:55,138 --> 00:07:56,855
Well, you know,
if memory serves,
170
00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,357
I think her name was Cathy.
171
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:00,826
Listen, have you ever thought
172
00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,244
that you're reading
this whole thing wrong?
173
00:08:02,279 --> 00:08:04,830
That maybe she's just
a four-eyed little geek
174
00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:06,732
that Evan Drake
is trying to help out?
175
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:09,584
Right. And Cliff is leaving
his brain to science.
176
00:08:11,237 --> 00:08:13,371
I guess, you're still covering
for Carla, huh?
177
00:08:13,406 --> 00:08:15,190
Guess again.
178
00:08:15,224 --> 00:08:18,377
Okay, uh, here's
another possibility.
179
00:08:18,411 --> 00:08:19,761
Instead of
firing someone,
180
00:08:19,796 --> 00:08:22,097
you send them to
the worst job in
the organization.
181
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:24,116
Usually the poor schlep
just gets fed up and quits.
182
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:27,669
They've tried that
on me a bunch of times.
183
00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:29,154
Works like a charm.
184
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:32,141
You know,
you might be right.
185
00:08:32,225 --> 00:08:34,426
She's probably just some
pathetic little dishrag
186
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:37,646
whose last great hope
is working here at Cheers.
187
00:08:37,731 --> 00:08:40,432
I got to stop
jumping to conclusions.
188
00:08:42,185 --> 00:08:44,736
Excuse me. Is Miss Howe here?
189
00:08:44,771 --> 00:08:46,588
Mr. Drake sent me.
190
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:49,341
Oh, you must be the slut.
191
00:08:51,177 --> 00:08:52,644
Excuse me?
192
00:08:52,678 --> 00:08:54,779
Slot. You're here
to fill the slot.
193
00:08:54,814 --> 00:08:57,065
Welcome to Cheers.
194
00:08:57,099 --> 00:08:58,934
Why don't you just
follow me in to my office
195
00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:00,802
and we'll fill out
your W-4 form.
196
00:09:00,837 --> 00:09:01,754
Great.
197
00:09:01,788 --> 00:09:04,940
And I'll need a phone number
and a job history,
198
00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:06,224
and a number we can call
199
00:09:06,258 --> 00:09:09,294
in case you meet with some
horrible disfiguring accident.
200
00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:12,631
Sam?
201
00:09:12,665 --> 00:09:14,066
What?
202
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:19,287
Could I ask your opinion as
a passionate macho stud horse?
203
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:22,290
Sure. I may have to stamp out
the answer with my foot,
204
00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:24,225
but go ahead.
205
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:27,646
Well, it's bad enough
that Anthony's lost
all his ambition
206
00:09:27,681 --> 00:09:29,047
and can't get a job.
Right.
207
00:09:29,081 --> 00:09:30,783
But ever since I
started working here,
208
00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:33,084
he's become insanely jealous.
209
00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:35,137
Why am I late?
When am I coming home?
210
00:09:35,171 --> 00:09:37,806
Why am I dressed
like such an ultra-fox?
211
00:09:37,841 --> 00:09:41,143
I mean, if it weren't for
the six times a day we make love
212
00:09:41,177 --> 00:09:43,328
he'd be no fun at all.
213
00:09:43,363 --> 00:09:46,115
Six?
214
00:09:46,149 --> 00:09:47,266
Whoo!
215
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:50,652
Can't think of anything
that I can do six times a day.
216
00:09:52,822 --> 00:09:54,957
Hit me again. Will you, Sam?
217
00:09:54,991 --> 00:09:58,410
Listen, it's kind of
tough on a husband,
218
00:09:58,444 --> 00:09:59,962
you know, to have his wife
supporting him.
219
00:09:59,996 --> 00:10:01,597
It's a...
It's a pride thing.
220
00:10:01,631 --> 00:10:03,698
It is a pride thing, Sam.
221
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:07,386
I remember once when I was out
of work, Vera had to support us.
222
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:10,956
I tell ya, the day that woman
left to deliver phone books...
223
00:10:12,809 --> 00:10:16,645
The proudest day of my life,
actually.
224
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,129
What do you want
me to do?
225
00:10:18,164 --> 00:10:19,331
You want me to
talk to him?
226
00:10:19,365 --> 00:10:21,533
Would you, Sam?
Thanks.
Yeah.
227
00:10:21,568 --> 00:10:23,168
Yeah, you're welcome.
228
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:24,403
Hey, I saw that!
229
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:31,393
Anthony! I can't believe
you're spying on me.
230
00:10:31,427 --> 00:10:34,029
Suddenly,
everything makes sense.
231
00:10:34,063 --> 00:10:36,231
You're taller than me.
232
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,468
You have a Corvette
instead of a bus pass.
233
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:42,838
And your hair does
that cool blow-dry thing.
234
00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:46,424
And now you've got my wife.
235
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:48,560
Well, aren't you gonna stay
and fight for me?
236
00:10:48,595 --> 00:10:49,761
What's the use?
237
00:10:49,795 --> 00:10:50,328
Hey, Anthony,
238
00:10:50,363 --> 00:10:51,713
come on, now, don't...
239
00:10:51,748 --> 00:10:54,549
Have you ever had to defend
Vera's honor?
240
00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:56,018
Well, no, not per se.
241
00:10:56,052 --> 00:10:57,236
But on more
than one occasion
242
00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:59,804
I've held her place in line
while she parked the car.
243
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:02,924
Could you believe that?
244
00:11:02,959 --> 00:11:06,477
After I gave that man
the best 28 months of my life.
245
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:07,613
Well, why don't you go
catch up with him
246
00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:08,764
and patch things up.
247
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,899
Forget it. He's a wimp
and he can't get a job.
248
00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:13,035
And his jealousy
is ruining our marriage.
249
00:11:13,069 --> 00:11:15,437
Not to mention that he left
the cap off the toothpaste
250
00:11:15,471 --> 00:11:18,240
for, like, the kajillionth day
in a row.
251
00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:21,643
I had no idea
that the wounds
were so deep.
252
00:11:21,678 --> 00:11:25,747
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
he can just go and...
253
00:11:25,782 --> 00:11:27,482
Oh, God!
254
00:11:27,516 --> 00:11:30,669
I've just lost the only man
I've ever loved.
255
00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:32,971
Oh, no, wait.
Sit here, will ya?
256
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:35,607
Listen, he'll come back.
Don't you worry about that.
257
00:11:35,642 --> 00:11:36,441
Now, he's not gonna leave
258
00:11:36,476 --> 00:11:38,409
a beautiful girl like you.
259
00:11:38,444 --> 00:11:40,378
You really think so, Sam?
260
00:11:40,412 --> 00:11:42,581
Oh, absolutely.
He'll be right back.
261
00:11:42,615 --> 00:11:45,100
I mean, do you really
think I'm beautiful?
262
00:11:57,780 --> 00:11:59,030
Hey, anyone see the conclusion
263
00:11:59,065 --> 00:12:00,932
of the White House Murderslast night?
264
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:04,002
No! Don't say anything.
I've got it on tape.
265
00:12:04,036 --> 00:12:06,555
Did you believe it was
the vice-president?
266
00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:07,823
Please!
267
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,091
How about where the First Lady
268
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,725
popped out of a pool
of her own blood
269
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,560
and strangled
the Russian ambassador?
270
00:12:12,595 --> 00:12:14,730
No... No...
271
00:12:14,764 --> 00:12:16,464
Yeah, that
was my reaction exactly.
272
00:12:18,184 --> 00:12:19,551
Well, thank you,
one and all,
273
00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:21,486
for ruining yet
another plot for me.
274
00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:23,322
I'll be off, now,
but before I go...
275
00:12:23,356 --> 00:12:25,824
there's something I'd like
to share with you.
276
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:30,612
In Citizen Kane. Rosebud
is the name of his sled.
277
00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:32,447
In Murder onthe Orient Express,
278
00:12:32,481 --> 00:12:34,082
everyone did it,
279
00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:37,085
and Luke Skywalker's father
is Darth Vader.
280
00:12:37,119 --> 00:12:38,119
Ha!
281
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:41,990
Ah, why doesn't
the guy tell us
282
00:12:42,025 --> 00:12:43,025
something
we don't know, huh?
283
00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:45,544
Darth Vader is Luke's father?
284
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,098
See you soon.
285
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:50,498
Bye.
286
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:51,600
"Bye."
287
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:54,102
How dare she put on
that sweetness and light
288
00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:56,337
when it's so obvious
she's nothing more
289
00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:57,940
than a sordid
little harlot.
290
00:12:57,974 --> 00:12:59,474
Hypocrite.
291
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,362
Doing a great job,
Laurie. Keep it up!
292
00:13:04,397 --> 00:13:05,697
I need a couple of drafts, Sam.
293
00:13:05,732 --> 00:13:06,614
Okay.
294
00:13:06,649 --> 00:13:08,884
But, oh, you, uh,
295
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,034
You and Anthony
still not talking?
296
00:13:10,069 --> 00:13:13,989
Talking? I can barely stomach
necking with him.
297
00:13:14,907 --> 00:13:15,940
He's a wimp.
298
00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:17,826
Not like my Sam.
299
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,460
Tell me,
300
00:13:19,495 --> 00:13:21,880
how do you feel
about moonlit walks by the beach
301
00:13:21,914 --> 00:13:23,648
and dinner by a roaring fire?
302
00:13:23,683 --> 00:13:26,568
I hate them.
I-I can't stand them. Bleah.
303
00:13:26,602 --> 00:13:28,119
Yay! Me, too.
No, no, no.
304
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:30,638
I was kidding. I love them.
305
00:13:30,673 --> 00:13:32,174
Too late.
306
00:13:33,609 --> 00:13:36,461
You know, if someone
ran over Laurie
307
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:41,233
in the parking lot, I bet it
would look like an accident.
308
00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:42,301
Do you want to
make 500 bucks?
309
00:13:42,335 --> 00:13:43,535
Just, don't...
310
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,237
Listen to yourself.
311
00:13:45,271 --> 00:13:46,238
You're going crazy here.
312
00:13:46,272 --> 00:13:48,373
We both have a problem
with these new waitresses.
313
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:50,075
Why don't we help
each other out, here?
314
00:13:50,109 --> 00:13:51,810
Oh, like I scratch
your back...?
315
00:13:51,844 --> 00:13:54,913
And I'll scratch
your front.
316
00:13:54,947 --> 00:13:56,114
What do you propose?
317
00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:58,483
Well, all right, uh...
now, we don't know for sure
318
00:13:58,518 --> 00:14:00,169
that Laurie isEvan Drake's mistress,
319
00:14:00,203 --> 00:14:01,453
so why don't you
let a guy
320
00:14:01,487 --> 00:14:02,954
who knows women
better than they
321
00:14:02,988 --> 00:14:04,889
know themselves
find out, all right?
322
00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,108
Okay.
323
00:14:06,142 --> 00:14:07,542
Laurie, you got
a second here?
324
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:08,543
Yeah.
325
00:14:08,577 --> 00:14:10,612
How do you feel
about, uh...
326
00:14:10,646 --> 00:14:15,551
moonlit walks on the beach with
a dinner by a roaring fire?
327
00:14:15,585 --> 00:14:17,819
Oh, I love those.
328
00:14:17,853 --> 00:14:19,871
Well, would you
like to join me?
329
00:14:19,905 --> 00:14:22,907
Oh, no, no, but...
thanks for asking.
330
00:14:26,562 --> 00:14:27,596
She's his mistress.
331
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:32,984
How do you know that?
332
00:14:33,018 --> 00:14:34,802
She turned me down.
333
00:14:35,704 --> 00:14:38,589
That just proves
she has a weak stomach.
334
00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:39,474
I'll handle this myself.
335
00:14:39,592 --> 00:14:41,059
Oh, wait a second.
Wait a minute.
336
00:14:41,094 --> 00:14:43,095
What about my little
problem here, you know?
337
00:14:43,129 --> 00:14:44,596
Sam, I don't have
time to handle
338
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,098
some silly little
teenage crush.
339
00:14:46,132 --> 00:14:47,399
It is not silly.
340
00:14:51,955 --> 00:14:53,255
Oh, yes, Miss Howe?
341
00:14:53,289 --> 00:14:55,991
Laurie, my, you are
such a busy little bee.
342
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,792
I bet you just
won't have an ounce
343
00:14:57,827 --> 00:14:59,794
of energy left for
your leisure time.
344
00:14:59,829 --> 00:15:02,397
Oh, that's okay.
I've lots of energy.
345
00:15:02,431 --> 00:15:04,233
I'll bet you do.
346
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:05,868
You know, you and I
really haven't had
347
00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:07,402
a chance to get
to know each other.
348
00:15:07,436 --> 00:15:10,072
What do you like to do
in your leisure time?
349
00:15:10,106 --> 00:15:12,491
Well, I, uh, I like to read.
350
00:15:12,525 --> 00:15:13,542
In bed?
351
00:15:13,576 --> 00:15:15,877
Sometimes.
352
00:15:15,912 --> 00:15:17,345
What else do you
like to do...
353
00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:19,213
in bed?
354
00:15:19,248 --> 00:15:20,782
Sleep.
355
00:15:20,816 --> 00:15:22,517
Oh, well.
356
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:25,970
Let, let's imagine here,
that you are asleep in bed,
357
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,839
and you roll over.
358
00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:29,006
Did you fall
on the floor,
359
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:31,042
or did something
impede your progress?
360
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:32,827
Excuse me?
361
00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:33,812
Oh, nothing.
362
00:15:33,897 --> 00:15:35,163
It's must my warped,
363
00:15:35,197 --> 00:15:37,198
wonderful, wild
sense of humor.
364
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:39,901
By the way,
365
00:15:39,935 --> 00:15:41,035
how do you
know Evan Drake?
366
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:44,038
Well, he's uh...
a friend.
367
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,508
Oh. Well, then maybe
you could help me out.
368
00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:48,076
I was gonna buy him a gift.
369
00:15:48,111 --> 00:15:50,111
Perhaps you know
what size he wears
370
00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:52,247
in slacks or shirts
or jockey shorts.
371
00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:53,415
Oh... sure,
372
00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,350
but he doesn't
wear jockeys.
373
00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:56,534
He wears boxers.
374
00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:57,953
Never mind, then.
375
00:16:00,256 --> 00:16:01,523
I'm gonna pop her.
376
00:16:01,557 --> 00:16:02,724
I'm gonna pop her.
377
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:04,359
I'm gonna pop her
right in the kisser.
378
00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:05,343
I'm gonna pop her!
379
00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:07,429
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!
380
00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:09,748
That's good.
381
00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:12,918
Now-Now do, uh,
bacon frying.
382
00:16:19,541 --> 00:16:22,710
You know, Darth Vader cannot be
Luke Skywalker's father.
383
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:27,082
They don't have
the same last name.
384
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,050
That's right, Woody.
385
00:16:29,084 --> 00:16:31,286
I'd better call out
the Imperial Guards.
386
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,054
( inhaling and exhaling deeply )
387
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:34,005
Stop it, Mr. Peterson.
388
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,323
You're scaring me.
389
00:16:39,161 --> 00:16:40,829
ANNIE:
You know, Sam,
390
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:43,131
I was just thinking
about us last night
391
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,867
as I was in the tub
shaving my legs
392
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:50,004
and pumicing the dead skin
off my knees and elbows
393
00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,356
and waxing my...
394
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,575
Uh, is-is there
a point to this?
395
00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:54,893
Do I have to say it?
396
00:16:54,927 --> 00:16:56,761
Can't you just feel it?
397
00:16:56,796 --> 00:16:57,762
Would you stop that?
398
00:16:57,796 --> 00:16:59,047
This is silly.
Now, just...
399
00:16:59,081 --> 00:17:01,215
Of course it's silly,
but love is silly, isn't it?
400
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:03,518
Romeo and Juliet were silly
in a mad, passionate way.
401
00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:05,086
Are we silly, Sam?
402
00:17:05,121 --> 00:17:06,287
Are we?
403
00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:07,922
Y-You maybe,
but I'm not.
404
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,809
Listen, young lady, I happen
to be a very close friend
405
00:17:10,843 --> 00:17:12,077
of your
mother-in-law,
406
00:17:12,111 --> 00:17:13,144
and out of respect,
407
00:17:13,178 --> 00:17:14,879
I'm ending this conversation
right now.
408
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:16,898
You can end the conversation,
Sam,
409
00:17:16,932 --> 00:17:19,100
but you can't end the feeling.
410
00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:20,819
Honey, I'm flattered,
but this is nuts.
411
00:17:20,853 --> 00:17:22,119
I mean, I...
412
00:17:22,154 --> 00:17:24,339
You know, I'm old
enough to be your f...
413
00:17:24,374 --> 00:17:26,123
a youthful
uncle, all right?
414
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:28,543
I mean, when-when...
when I'm 60,
415
00:17:28,577 --> 00:17:31,213
you're-you're
gonna be 22.
416
00:17:31,247 --> 00:17:33,932
Oh, my God, that
can't be right.
417
00:17:33,966 --> 00:17:35,533
Uh...
418
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:36,735
all right, uh...
419
00:17:36,769 --> 00:17:38,753
All right, when
I'm 60, uh,
420
00:17:38,787 --> 00:17:40,605
well, you'll be
looking pretty
good, actually.
421
00:17:40,639 --> 00:17:41,807
Um...
422
00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:45,010
so, why don't you
call me when I'm 60?
423
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:45,794
I can't wait that long.
424
00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:46,945
Oh, don't. Just...
425
00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:50,881
( Sam grunting )
426
00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:53,068
Hey, knock it off!
427
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:56,438
All right, you, outside.
428
00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:59,140
You're gonna get
what's coming to you.
429
00:17:59,174 --> 00:18:01,376
I am not going outside
with you, Anthony.
430
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,244
Not you. Her.
431
00:18:03,279 --> 00:18:04,629
I mean, come on.
432
00:18:04,663 --> 00:18:06,231
You're twice as big as me.
433
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:09,000
Hey, but you stay away from her,
if you know what's good for you.
434
00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:10,768
Thank you for the warning.
435
00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:12,487
Come on, Annie. Let's go.
436
00:18:12,521 --> 00:18:14,305
Why should I
listen to you?
437
00:18:14,339 --> 00:18:17,041
Because I happen to be the new
438
00:18:17,075 --> 00:18:20,611
Assistant Night Manager
at Burger Burger Burger.
439
00:18:21,464 --> 00:18:23,515
You got a job?
440
00:18:23,549 --> 00:18:25,283
Hey, an important job.
441
00:18:25,317 --> 00:18:28,052
When I tell people
to chop lettuce,
442
00:18:28,086 --> 00:18:29,920
they say, "How high?"
443
00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:33,575
And now, I am telling you,
Missy,
444
00:18:33,609 --> 00:18:35,927
if you don't come with me
this instant,
445
00:18:35,962 --> 00:18:38,329
we're through forever.
446
00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:41,015
I am so totally
turned on right now,
447
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:43,752
I could spit.
448
00:18:43,786 --> 00:18:45,119
NORM:
Well,
449
00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:46,737
I guess it's true
what they say:
450
00:18:46,772 --> 00:18:48,506
power is the ultimate
aphrodisiac.
451
00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:51,526
A uniform doesn't
hurt, either.
452
00:18:52,828 --> 00:18:54,011
Can you wear it
all night?
453
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:55,413
Oh, maybe the hat.
454
00:18:55,447 --> 00:18:56,881
Ooh.
455
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:00,768
Boy, Sam, lucky
for you, he got
that job, huh?
456
00:19:00,803 --> 00:19:01,903
Lucky, hell.
457
00:19:01,938 --> 00:19:03,071
I got him that job.
458
00:19:03,105 --> 00:19:04,773
I traded in a few favors
and got him in.
459
00:19:04,807 --> 00:19:06,341
Wow.
460
00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:07,509
As a matter of fact,
461
00:19:07,543 --> 00:19:09,377
are you interested
in buying a secondhand car
462
00:19:09,411 --> 00:19:11,980
with this giant hamburger
on top?
463
00:19:12,014 --> 00:19:14,182
Five-speed
or automatic?
464
00:19:15,351 --> 00:19:16,601
Uh, Miss Howe?
465
00:19:16,635 --> 00:19:18,503
Yes, Laurie, dear?
466
00:19:18,537 --> 00:19:20,372
Well, uh,
Mr. Drake is dropping by,
467
00:19:20,406 --> 00:19:22,840
and I was wondering
if I could just break away
468
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:24,409
for a... for an early lunch.
469
00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,378
Lunch.
470
00:19:26,412 --> 00:19:29,614
Is that the fashionable
term for it these days?
471
00:19:29,648 --> 00:19:32,083
No, I think
I've always called it lunch.
472
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:34,152
Well, you just run
along with Mr. Drake
473
00:19:34,186 --> 00:19:35,686
to your lunch,
474
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:38,256
and don't eat so much,
you can't walk back.
475
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,727
Okay.
476
00:19:42,761 --> 00:19:43,995
Excuse me, Sam.
477
00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:45,430
What did she mean by that?
478
00:19:45,464 --> 00:19:46,597
Oh, she's, uh,
479
00:19:46,632 --> 00:19:48,199
under a lot of
pressure nowawdays.
480
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:49,367
I volunteered
481
00:19:49,402 --> 00:19:51,136
to help her release
some of it, but she...
482
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:52,603
( sighs )
483
00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:54,973
Probably didn't help,
by asking for an early break.
484
00:19:55,007 --> 00:19:56,141
Mm.
485
00:19:56,175 --> 00:19:57,943
I better apologize.
486
00:19:57,977 --> 00:19:59,277
CLIFF:
Oh,
487
00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:01,012
Normie, do my eyes deceive me,
488
00:20:01,046 --> 00:20:03,497
or is this the start
of girl-fighting season?
489
00:20:03,532 --> 00:20:05,383
Luckily, we
have our, uh,
490
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:06,751
luxury box seats
just in time.
491
00:20:06,786 --> 00:20:07,935
That's right.
492
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:10,722
They cost a little bit more,
but they're worth it.
493
00:20:10,756 --> 00:20:11,906
Miss Howe,
if it's more convenient,
494
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,558
I'll just take my lunch break
one hour...
495
00:20:13,592 --> 00:20:14,909
Listen!
496
00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:16,944
Let's just cut the
crap here, all right?
497
00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:18,830
I know how you
got hired here,
498
00:20:18,864 --> 00:20:21,632
and I know what
your relationship
is to Mr. Drake.
499
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,267
You do?
500
00:20:23,302 --> 00:20:24,235
Well, give me credit
501
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:26,303
for having an
ounce of a brain.
502
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,657
You can tell me
to go to hell,
503
00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:32,093
but there's something
I have to know.
504
00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:34,395
Do you love
Evan Drake?
505
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:36,080
Well, yes.
506
00:20:36,114 --> 00:20:38,016
I see.
507
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:40,218
( voice cracking ):
And does he
love you?
508
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:42,921
Does he love you?!
509
00:20:42,955 --> 00:20:44,923
Well, of course he does.
510
00:20:44,957 --> 00:20:47,826
Well, then there's only
one thing left to say.
511
00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:50,495
Oh, my God. Oh!
512
00:20:50,529 --> 00:20:51,596
( shrieks )
513
00:20:53,715 --> 00:20:54,749
Oh, damn, it's
a knockout.
514
00:20:54,783 --> 00:20:56,618
Didn't even get
to any hair-pulling.
515
00:20:56,652 --> 00:20:58,419
( door opening )
516
00:20:59,872 --> 00:21:01,773
Uh-oh, uh-oh,
uh-oh.
517
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:04,058
What the hell's going on?
518
00:21:04,092 --> 00:21:04,909
Mr. Drake.
519
00:21:04,943 --> 00:21:05,843
Daddy.
520
00:21:05,878 --> 00:21:07,812
D-Daddy?
Daddy?
521
00:21:07,846 --> 00:21:09,747
Daddy.
Daddy.
522
00:21:12,635 --> 00:21:14,002
What happened?
523
00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:16,270
Oh, I think she hit me.
524
00:21:17,456 --> 00:21:18,840
You hit my daughter?
525
00:21:18,874 --> 00:21:20,308
No, I'm fine.
526
00:21:20,342 --> 00:21:21,709
Yes, I did,
527
00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:23,678
but it was
an accident.
528
00:21:23,712 --> 00:21:25,913
I have a nerve
disorder.
529
00:21:25,948 --> 00:21:27,214
A nerve disorder?
SAM:
Yes, she...
530
00:21:27,249 --> 00:21:29,517
Yes.
She was dropped
as a child on her...
531
00:21:29,552 --> 00:21:30,919
REBECCA:
And-And you better
stand back, because
532
00:21:30,953 --> 00:21:32,303
I just never know
when it's gonna go off.
533
00:21:32,337 --> 00:21:33,304
Ooh.
Oh!
534
00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:34,338
Aah!
See?
535
00:21:34,373 --> 00:21:36,324
I'd better get back
on that medication.
536
00:21:36,358 --> 00:21:37,591
Are you all right, baby?
537
00:21:37,626 --> 00:21:39,661
I'll be all right. Thank you.
538
00:21:43,231 --> 00:21:44,465
I mean her.
539
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:45,700
Yes, Daddy.
540
00:21:45,734 --> 00:21:47,402
Oh.
REBECCA:
So, uh,
541
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:48,670
Laurie's your daughter.
542
00:21:49,521 --> 00:21:51,739
Why didn't you
tell me, kiddo?
543
00:21:51,773 --> 00:21:54,375
Well, Daddy
said not to.
544
00:21:54,409 --> 00:21:56,477
I didn't want her
to have any special treatment.
545
00:21:56,512 --> 00:21:58,028
I want her to know
what it feels like
546
00:21:58,063 --> 00:21:59,697
not to be the boss's daughter.
547
00:21:59,732 --> 00:22:01,265
What a fabulous idea.
548
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:03,868
And so smart of
you not to tell
549
00:22:03,903 --> 00:22:04,952
anyone who she was.
550
00:22:04,986 --> 00:22:07,522
Do you have
any cotton in
your office?
551
00:22:07,556 --> 00:22:09,858
Yeah. Let's put some food
in my baby, huh?
552
00:22:09,892 --> 00:22:12,260
Again, again,
please accept
my apology,
553
00:22:12,294 --> 00:22:14,562
and it was so nice
to see you, Mr. Drake.
554
00:22:14,597 --> 00:22:16,130
If you don't mind, I'll wait
555
00:22:16,164 --> 00:22:18,666
till after
you've had the medication.
556
00:22:23,505 --> 00:22:26,240
Do you think he bought
that nerve disorder thing?
557
00:22:26,275 --> 00:22:28,910
I think he bought
that nerve disorder thing.
558
00:22:28,944 --> 00:22:30,745
Is it getting
darker in here?
559
00:22:30,779 --> 00:22:32,580
Oh, Sam, stop being
such a big baby.
560
00:22:32,614 --> 00:22:33,764
Yeah, well...
561
00:22:33,799 --> 00:22:35,533
Here, let me look
at your nose.
562
00:22:35,567 --> 00:22:36,784
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
563
00:22:36,819 --> 00:22:38,720
( gasping ):
Oh, my God!
564
00:22:38,754 --> 00:22:39,570
What?
565
00:22:39,605 --> 00:22:40,722
Oh.
566
00:22:40,756 --> 00:22:41,956
( grunts )
567
00:22:45,061 --> 00:22:46,211
Huh?
568
00:22:46,245 --> 00:22:48,313
What-What...?
569
00:22:53,202 --> 00:22:55,453
Hey, everybody, I'm back.
570
00:22:55,487 --> 00:22:57,171
Hey, Carla.
All right.
571
00:22:57,205 --> 00:22:58,456
Anything new
since I've been gone?
572
00:22:58,491 --> 00:22:59,624
( baby cooing )
573
00:22:59,658 --> 00:23:00,791
NORM:
Mm, no, not much.
574
00:23:00,826 --> 00:23:02,127
CLIFF:
Uh, well, nothing special.
575
00:23:02,161 --> 00:23:03,294
( baby cooing )
576
00:23:03,329 --> 00:23:04,662
Yeah, yeah.
How about yourself?
577
00:23:04,696 --> 00:23:06,797
The usual.
40735
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