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1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:05,720
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,754 --> 00:00:08,657
Let's just concentrate on
the, uh, left side, okay?
3
00:00:08,691 --> 00:00:09,658
Yeah.
4
00:00:09,692 --> 00:00:10,959
We have a boy.
5
00:00:10,993 --> 00:00:13,561
No, no, wait, wait.
It's a girl.
6
00:00:13,595 --> 00:00:17,565
It's a boy again.
This is weird.
7
00:00:17,599 --> 00:00:19,450
All right, maybe it's a girl.
I-I...
8
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:22,220
Still trying to figure
out what Carla is, huh?
9
00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:28,876
No, Cliff, we're trying to find
out what sex my babies are.
10
00:00:28,911 --> 00:00:31,813
See, if the ring goes back
and forth, it's a boy.
11
00:00:31,847 --> 00:00:34,416
If it goes around
in a circle, it's a girl.
12
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:39,053
And if it just dangles there
doing nothing, it's a Clavin.
13
00:00:39,088 --> 00:00:40,988
I can tell you
something
14
00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:44,426
we used to, uh,
do on the farm.
15
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,294
We'd take a fresh
laid chicken egg
16
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:47,962
and we'd put on a spoon
17
00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:50,031
and hold it over
the woman's stomach.
18
00:00:50,065 --> 00:00:52,567
If it dipped down,
it was female, if not,
19
00:00:52,602 --> 00:00:54,269
male.
20
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:57,272
So how often did you predict
the sex of the babies?
21
00:00:57,306 --> 00:00:59,907
Never. This was to predict
the sex of the chicken.
22
00:00:59,942 --> 00:01:03,612
All right,
you take a spoon, right?
23
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:08,350
( piano plays )
24
00:01:08,384 --> 00:01:10,885
� Making your way
in the world today �
25
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:13,722
� Takes everything you've got
26
00:01:13,756 --> 00:01:16,524
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
27
00:01:16,559 --> 00:01:19,694
� Sure would help a lot
28
00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:23,164
� Wouldn't
you like to get away? �
29
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,019
� Sometimes you want to go
30
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:32,823
� Where everybody
knows your name �
31
00:01:32,858 --> 00:01:37,762
� And they're always
glad you came �
32
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,198
� You want to be
where you can see �
33
00:01:40,232 --> 00:01:43,168
� Our troubles
are all the same �
34
00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:48,206
� You want to be where everybody
knows your name �
35
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,708
� You want to go
where people know �
36
00:01:50,742 --> 00:01:53,244
� People are all the same
37
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:58,149
� You want to go where
everybody knows your name. �
38
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,074
Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET
39
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:14,933
Good afternoon, everybody.
40
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:17,602
Sam, you got you room
for one more tosspot?
41
00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,136
Let me have a beer, will you?
42
00:02:19,171 --> 00:02:20,304
You betcha.
43
00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:21,606
How you been
there, Frasier?
44
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,776
Well, you know how it is for
a psychiatrist this day and age.
45
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,928
Divorces, hopelessness
over financial situations,
46
00:02:27,963 --> 00:02:29,430
rampant paranoia.
47
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:30,949
Thriving, never better.
48
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:32,751
Oh, and get this.
49
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,586
I just heard a little bit
of information about
50
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,187
someone with whom
we're all acquainted.
51
00:02:36,221 --> 00:02:38,189
Is it juicy?
52
00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:42,827
Well, yes.
53
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,312
Could it embarrass
someone?
54
00:02:44,347 --> 00:02:45,747
Oh, most definitely.
55
00:02:45,781 --> 00:02:47,114
Is it me?
56
00:02:47,149 --> 00:02:48,182
No.
57
00:02:48,217 --> 00:02:50,852
Spill it.
58
00:02:50,886 --> 00:02:54,622
Well, I had lunch today
with an ex-colleague of mine
59
00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:57,191
who attended
the University of Connecticut
60
00:02:57,226 --> 00:03:01,363
at the same time
as a certain Miss Rebecca Howe.
61
00:03:01,397 --> 00:03:02,497
Now, it seems
that this
62
00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:05,166
particular Rebecca Howe
63
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,852
was known as--
well, let's just say it--
64
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,521
the party girl on campus.
65
00:03:10,555 --> 00:03:11,839
( exclaiming )
66
00:03:11,873 --> 00:03:13,408
CARLA:
Our Rebecca?
67
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:17,412
Miss Granite Panties?
68
00:03:17,446 --> 00:03:20,948
The one who goes through life
with her knees bolted together?
69
00:03:20,982 --> 00:03:22,350
It's got to be
a mistake.
70
00:03:22,385 --> 00:03:23,551
SAM:
Yeah, yeah...
71
00:03:23,585 --> 00:03:26,154
So, does anyone know
what college ours went to?
72
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:27,922
It wouldn't surprise me one bit
if it was Rebecca.
73
00:03:27,956 --> 00:03:29,757
I don't know.
No, I mean, it's us
74
00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:32,494
quiet, reserved types
who, when properly stimulated,
75
00:03:32,528 --> 00:03:38,133
turn into your average
churning hunk of burning funk.
76
00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:42,103
Now, Cliffie, uh,
77
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,304
can you tell me exactly
78
00:03:43,339 --> 00:03:44,589
at what point in your life
79
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:46,624
you came to that big
fork in the road
80
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:49,193
where reality took a left
and you hung a sharp right?
81
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:54,382
Excuse me, is there
a Cliff Clavin here?
82
00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:57,218
Uh, would Mr. Clavin
know what this is about?
83
00:03:57,252 --> 00:03:58,886
Yeah, I'm a neighbor
of his, Jim McNulty.
84
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,288
His mother
said he'd be here.
85
00:04:00,322 --> 00:04:01,623
All right,
just a minute.
86
00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:03,391
Uh, Mr. Clavin, you here
87
00:04:03,425 --> 00:04:04,759
for a Jim McNulty?
88
00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:07,061
Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.
89
00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:08,862
Uh, you know how it is.
Some guys in bars
90
00:04:08,897 --> 00:04:10,298
don't like you to
know they're here.
91
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:12,450
Hey, Cliff,
remember me?
92
00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:13,785
Yeah, yeah.
Jim McNulty.
93
00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:15,620
You own a house
down at the corner.
94
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:18,389
You ever going to take
those Christmas lights down?
95
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,924
Yeah, as soon
as a weekend goes by
96
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,592
you don't have
another garage sale.
97
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,330
Listen, I, uh,
I've been going around
98
00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,931
to good neighbors
like yourself
99
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:28,533
hoping I can get
your support.
100
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,934
Well, uh...
101
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:31,719
what am I looking at here?
102
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:33,154
Oh, it's a petition
103
00:04:33,188 --> 00:04:35,389
agreeing not to sell out
to these big developers
104
00:04:35,424 --> 00:04:37,191
who've been trying
to buy up our houses
105
00:04:37,225 --> 00:04:38,225
and build mini malls.
106
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,377
( chuckling )
107
00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:40,611
Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo.
108
00:04:40,645 --> 00:04:41,645
You know,
new development
109
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,798
only increases property values.
110
00:04:43,832 --> 00:04:47,568
I wouldn't sign that petition
if you beat me senseless.
111
00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:49,170
You know, it
may be too late,
112
00:04:49,204 --> 00:04:51,439
but let's give it a try.
113
00:04:51,473 --> 00:04:54,576
You know, I'll never understand
people like you.
114
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:57,612
You got no conscience,
no sense of community,
115
00:04:57,646 --> 00:05:01,015
no interest in keeping
our neighborhood beautiful.
116
00:05:01,049 --> 00:05:03,217
If you, uh, want
to beautify the neighborhood,
117
00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:04,552
why don't you stay indoors?
118
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,654
Yeah, at least
I don't live with my mother.
119
00:05:06,688 --> 00:05:09,590
I don't blame you;
I've seen your mother.
120
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,459
Yeah, my mother's a saint.
121
00:05:11,493 --> 00:05:12,527
( chuckling ):
Yeah-- Saint Bernard.
122
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:14,028
Oh, yeah?
123
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:19,550
Forget it.
124
00:05:23,639 --> 00:05:24,872
Ah, I'm outta luck.
125
00:05:24,906 --> 00:05:27,508
Somebody's already
using the pool table.
126
00:05:30,979 --> 00:05:32,680
The lady in question.
127
00:05:32,714 --> 00:05:34,549
Sam, Sam, find out
where she went to college.
128
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,616
Yeah, okay.
129
00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:36,717
Afternoon, Sam.
130
00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:37,885
Hey, boss.
131
00:05:37,919 --> 00:05:39,953
How's business today?
Oh, pretty slow.
132
00:05:39,988 --> 00:05:41,856
Me and the guys
just sitting around
133
00:05:41,890 --> 00:05:44,758
talking about where everybody
went to... college.
134
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,096
You were?
135
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,463
Well, I was wondering
what it would be like
136
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,833
to go to... college.
137
00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:54,536
Well,
138
00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:56,303
picture a place
with 20,000 people
139
00:05:56,338 --> 00:05:58,039
all acting the way you do.
140
00:05:59,041 --> 00:06:00,207
Sounds like fun.
141
00:06:00,242 --> 00:06:02,911
Listen, uh,
where did you go to...
142
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,913
college?
143
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,882
The University
of... Connecticut.
144
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:10,317
( all laughing )
145
00:06:13,772 --> 00:06:15,639
Am I missing something here?
146
00:06:15,674 --> 00:06:16,624
No, no, no, no,
not at all.
147
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:18,426
We, uh, we're just, uh,
148
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,628
such big fans of
their football team,
149
00:06:20,663 --> 00:06:22,129
you know,
the fighting...
150
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,198
insurance salesmen.
151
00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:35,343
Boy, oh, boy.
152
00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:37,395
Don't you just love
this Yorkshire pudding, Ma?
153
00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,997
That's a real delicacy.
154
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,166
The English didn't think so.
155
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:45,519
Actually, Yorkshire pudding
was invented in the late 1770s
156
00:06:45,553 --> 00:06:47,038
during a beef shortage.
157
00:06:48,223 --> 00:06:51,024
A person could be given
a little bit of beef
158
00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:53,527
and soak up the gravy
with the pudding,
159
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:56,264
thereby fooling his stomach
into thinking
160
00:06:56,298 --> 00:06:59,567
he was having a fuller dinner
than he actually was.
161
00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:03,620
And you wonder why nobody
asks us out anymore.
162
00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:06,006
So how was your day?
163
00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:07,658
Ah, okay, Ma.
164
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:10,094
Oh, our neighbor,
Nut Butt McNulty
165
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,996
stopped in Cheers today.
166
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,799
He was, uh, circulating
some kind of petition.
167
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:16,850
The one to stop development?
168
00:07:16,885 --> 00:07:18,419
Yeah.
I signed it.
169
00:07:18,454 --> 00:07:19,820
( crashing )
170
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,021
You did?
171
00:07:21,055 --> 00:07:23,557
Well, who in his
right mind wouldn't?
172
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:26,711
Besides you, of course.
173
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,479
( sputtering )
174
00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:30,014
Ma, we-we-we're
for progress here.
175
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,984
If we don't stop these people,
we could lose our home.
176
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:34,602
Well, it's
probably about time
177
00:07:34,637 --> 00:07:36,504
we got out of this
rattrap anyway.
178
00:07:36,538 --> 00:07:37,571
Clifford.
179
00:07:37,606 --> 00:07:40,041
This "rattrap" is where you,
180
00:07:40,075 --> 00:07:44,045
for want
of a better term, grew up.
181
00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:48,883
I think it's time somebody
looked at the scrapbook.
182
00:07:50,552 --> 00:07:51,919
Aw, come on, Ma.
183
00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:53,554
Not the scrapbook.
184
00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:58,542
Yes, Clifford, the scrapbook.
185
00:07:59,644 --> 00:08:03,480
Misty watercolor memories
of the way we were.
186
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,704
Oh. Look at this one.
187
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:10,821
Ah...
188
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,190
No, Ma. I'm not
gonna look.
189
00:08:12,224 --> 00:08:13,824
You're not gonna
get me this time.
190
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,229
Oh, we had fun that day.
191
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,480
( laughing )
192
00:08:19,515 --> 00:08:20,748
Ma!
193
00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:22,383
It is not working.
194
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,017
Oh, I'd forgotten this one.
195
00:08:24,052 --> 00:08:27,120
This has got to be
the handsomest picture of you
196
00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:28,589
I ever laid eyes on.
197
00:08:34,245 --> 00:08:36,146
Which?
198
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:37,514
Oh, Ma, come on.
199
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:40,517
My ears are even
covered with acne.
200
00:08:42,237 --> 00:08:44,037
I'm your mother, Clifford.
201
00:08:44,072 --> 00:08:45,873
I'm looking at your soul.
202
00:08:47,209 --> 00:08:51,796
Ah, there's me sliding
down the old banister.
203
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,531
I always
thought you spent
204
00:08:53,565 --> 00:08:55,933
entirely too much time
doing that.
205
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:58,503
Eh...
206
00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:01,222
Eh, it was fun.
207
00:09:01,256 --> 00:09:03,174
Oh, look, there's
your favorite
208
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,942
hiding place
in the closet.
209
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:05,943
Yeah, yeah.
210
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,645
You used to be
in there for hours.
211
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,782
Yeah.
212
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:12,984
Well, that's 'cause
213
00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:15,552
you always locked
the door on me, Ma.
214
00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:17,137
Well, look at the result.
215
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:19,156
You're a very
polite young man.
216
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:23,844
Oh, now there's
where we planted
217
00:09:23,878 --> 00:09:26,463
the elm tree in the yard.
218
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:27,898
Yeah.
219
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,483
Oh, you named
him Elmer.
220
00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:30,684
Mm-hmm.
221
00:09:30,718 --> 00:09:32,853
And look at our
Elmer now.
222
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:34,789
So tall and strong.
223
00:09:34,823 --> 00:09:36,156
Just like my boy.
224
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:39,143
Yeah, yeah, I can remember
raising him from a sapling, Ma.
225
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:40,477
I even carved
226
00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:42,480
my first slingshot
out of his branches.
227
00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:47,018
And cried every winter
when the leaves fell.
228
00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:50,621
Yeah, yeah, that tree is
like a brother to me, Ma.
229
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:55,126
Just imagine, you know,
something that I planted,
230
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,295
and I nurtured,
is gonna be there
231
00:09:57,329 --> 00:09:59,596
for future
generations to enjoy.
232
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:05,319
Unless they chop it down
to put up a Jiffy Lube.
233
00:10:05,353 --> 00:10:07,989
Come on, Ma, they wouldn't
do that, would they?
234
00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:11,709
They'll do that
as soon as look at you.
235
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,180
Well...
236
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:19,566
Oh, Ma, no, they won't.
237
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:20,567
Oh...
238
00:10:20,602 --> 00:10:21,568
No, Ma...
239
00:10:21,603 --> 00:10:24,538
They're not gonna
cut down my tree!
240
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:27,208
A-and they're not gonna
touch this house either!
241
00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:29,543
And they're not
gonna take our land!
242
00:10:29,577 --> 00:10:30,744
That's my boy.
243
00:10:30,779 --> 00:10:32,180
Where are you going?
244
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,183
Well, it may sound
a little bit silly
245
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,351
and all, Ma, but, uh...
246
00:10:37,385 --> 00:10:40,588
I'm gonna go out there
and sit in my tree.
247
00:10:41,623 --> 00:10:43,373
You got right ahead.
248
00:10:47,262 --> 00:10:48,595
Never fails.
249
00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:56,437
Well, uh,
interestingly enough,
250
00:10:56,471 --> 00:10:59,307
Yorkshire pudding
was invented in the 1700s
251
00:10:59,341 --> 00:11:01,042
during a beef shortage.
252
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:03,511
All right, stop everything.
253
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:05,178
I've got a major news flash.
254
00:11:05,213 --> 00:11:07,080
I just had lunch
with Miss Howe's
255
00:11:07,115 --> 00:11:08,516
former college classmate
256
00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:11,886
and it seems that she
had a nickname at UConn.
257
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,253
Give, give.
258
00:11:13,288 --> 00:11:14,705
Well, he wasn't sure
how she came by
259
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,941
this appellation,
but it seems that at some point
260
00:11:16,975 --> 00:11:18,508
during her little
sojourn there,
261
00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:21,796
she became known
as "Backseat Becky."
262
00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:25,533
( all laughing )
263
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,301
Boy.
264
00:11:27,335 --> 00:11:29,520
What do you
suppose that means?
265
00:11:31,139 --> 00:11:32,540
Woody.
266
00:11:32,574 --> 00:11:33,724
What that means
is when Miss...
267
00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:34,992
Cliff, Cliff.
Why don't you
268
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,195
let someone who's
been there, tell it?
269
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,531
Wood, she likes to do
her cushion pushin'
270
00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:42,133
on four wheels.
271
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,801
Miss Howe?
272
00:11:43,835 --> 00:11:44,969
Really?
273
00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:47,204
You know, uh, back
where I come from,
274
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:48,906
we used to say something
about girls like that.
275
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:49,740
What?
276
00:11:49,774 --> 00:11:51,508
"Let's date 'em."
277
00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:59,850
Oh, looky here. You know,
something tells me
278
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,352
I'm going to be completelyobnoxious about this.
279
00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:06,690
What's so funny?
280
00:12:06,724 --> 00:12:07,724
Oh, we were just talking
281
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:08,893
about nicknames, you know.
282
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,761
Different funny nicknames
that people have.
283
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,029
Did you ever
have a nickname?
284
00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:13,697
As a matter of fact, no.
285
00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:14,832
Really.
286
00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:16,033
Nothing, huh?
287
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:18,502
Not a Spark
or Lefty or...
288
00:12:18,536 --> 00:12:20,037
Bubba or something?
289
00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:21,172
Sorry.
290
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:22,439
Guys, we ought
to give
291
00:12:22,473 --> 00:12:24,374
Rebecca, here, a
nickname, uh...
292
00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:25,843
You know, something
that, uh, kinda
293
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:26,844
fits her personality.
294
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:28,545
All right.
295
00:12:28,579 --> 00:12:29,864
Kinda dignified.
296
00:12:29,898 --> 00:12:31,665
Kinda businesslike.
297
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,168
Kinda reserved.
298
00:12:34,202 --> 00:12:36,203
Let me think. Oh, yeah.
299
00:12:36,237 --> 00:12:38,372
Anybody?
300
00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:40,124
ALL:
Backseat Becky!
301
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,777
( moans )
302
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:49,416
Gee, that,
uh, that works for me.
303
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,988
I kind of like "Bubba."
304
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:56,890
Oh, God.
305
00:12:56,925 --> 00:12:59,576
Then you probably know
the whole sordid story.
306
00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:02,380
Well, actually, no.
307
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:03,580
Well, that's because
there isn't one.
308
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,182
Hey, hey, come on, come on.
Don't worry about that.
309
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,217
Listen, the truth is
310
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:07,851
I'm looking
to buy a new car,
311
00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:09,953
and I, uh, I need
an expert opinion.
312
00:13:09,988 --> 00:13:11,889
Uh...
313
00:13:11,923 --> 00:13:14,625
now what-what...
what model do you think
314
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:15,893
has the best rear shocks?
315
00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:18,029
( laughter )
316
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:21,699
Have you driven
a Ford lately?
317
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:27,405
I guess she gives new meaning
to the term "four on the floor."
318
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:31,242
All right, all right.
319
00:13:31,276 --> 00:13:33,511
If you insist
on an explanation,
320
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,246
I will give it to you.
321
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,747
You know how sometimes
as a joke,
322
00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:38,515
you call someone
the exact opposite
323
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,916
of what they really are?
324
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:42,052
Well, I was really shy
in college,
325
00:13:42,086 --> 00:13:43,821
so my friends thought
it would be a huge gas
326
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,489
to call me "Backseat Becky."
327
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,792
( faint chuckle )
328
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:50,661
Well, it's simple,
it's, it's logical,
329
00:13:50,695 --> 00:13:52,479
and we don't believe
it for a second.
330
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,532
Wait a minute.
I-I believe her.
331
00:13:55,566 --> 00:13:57,268
Us virgins have
to stick together.
332
00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:01,739
I told you the truth.
333
00:14:01,773 --> 00:14:04,408
If you don't want
to believe it, fine,
334
00:14:04,442 --> 00:14:05,609
just believe whatever you want.
335
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,413
All right,
here's the real truth.
336
00:14:09,447 --> 00:14:13,851
I was very aggressive
in college, a real go-getter.
337
00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:17,254
I never took a backseat
to anyone.
338
00:14:20,274 --> 00:14:21,475
No. No, no.
339
00:14:25,596 --> 00:14:27,998
No, Mr. Cronin,
I'm not listening.
340
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,400
The case is closed.
341
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:31,201
I'm not taking
any offers,
342
00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:32,702
and that's final.
343
00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:35,105
I'm sorry if I've
upset you, Mrs. Clavin.
344
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,774
Clifford, would you
tell this gentleman, please,
345
00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:39,310
we're not selling
our house?
346
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:40,477
I was just
347
00:14:40,511 --> 00:14:42,046
trying to make an offer
on your house,
348
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,314
and your mother
won't listen.
349
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:45,882
Well, that's because
she has got more sense
350
00:14:45,917 --> 00:14:47,384
in her bony little frame
351
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,053
than you have
in your little finger.
352
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,490
Reverse that.
353
00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:57,177
You are not going
to run the Clavins off our land.
354
00:14:57,211 --> 00:14:58,712
I don't care
what you offer us,
355
00:14:58,747 --> 00:15:00,714
you just can't put
a price on love,
356
00:15:00,749 --> 00:15:04,635
family and our memories.
357
00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:06,937
Take it or leave it--
358
00:15:06,971 --> 00:15:08,905
$250,000.
359
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:10,290
$200 and...
360
00:15:10,324 --> 00:15:12,760
Oh, my God,
we're rich.
361
00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:23,287
But Ma, Ma,
you can't do this.
362
00:15:23,321 --> 00:15:25,289
A Clavin cannot be bought off.
363
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:28,942
I'm only a Clavin
by marriage, Clifford.
364
00:15:30,478 --> 00:15:31,345
Oh...
365
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,264
Oh, guys, you gotta help me.
366
00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:35,499
She's going to go
through with this.
367
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:37,301
Well, why don't you offer
to buy the place back?
368
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:41,705
Sammy, I don't have
enough money for a down payment.
369
00:15:41,739 --> 00:15:42,974
Wait a minute.
370
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,076
Can either of you guys
lend me $50,000?
371
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:45,977
( chuckles )
372
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:48,379
I'm sorry, Cliff, you
never paid me back
373
00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:50,080
that million
from last week.
374
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,315
Well, it's been
a pleasure
375
00:15:51,349 --> 00:15:53,150
doing business
with you, Mrs. Clavin.
376
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,185
Thank you.
377
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,987
Uh... uh...
378
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,122
There!
379
00:15:58,156 --> 00:15:59,489
There!
380
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:02,059
Now what are you going to do?
381
00:16:02,093 --> 00:16:03,427
Well, first I'm going
382
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:06,096
to take this contract
down to the office,
383
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,497
and then I'm going
384
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:09,333
to call my wife
and ask her what I'm supposed
385
00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:10,734
to pick up at the grocery store.
386
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,622
Ah, Ma,
387
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:17,607
but after all we've
been through together.
388
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:19,076
Just last night you were saying
389
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,644
how much the house meant to you.
390
00:16:20,678 --> 00:16:22,646
Last night I was poor.
391
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,148
Tonight I'm not.
392
00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:26,650
I never thought
I'd have the chance,
393
00:16:26,684 --> 00:16:28,618
but now
I can go to Florida.
394
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:30,721
Florida? Oh, for
crying out loud.
395
00:16:30,755 --> 00:16:33,590
Who'd ever want to live
in that stinkhole?
396
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,193
Clifford,
I'm doing this
397
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:38,729
as much for you
as I am for myself.
398
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,297
You're 39 years old.
399
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,798
It's time to cut the cord.
400
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:43,967
Ma, I am not
leaving that house!
401
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,136
Clifford...
402
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,471
I am not leaving
that house!
403
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:51,175
Well, I'm afraid
you're going to have to.
404
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:53,210
Oh! Oh, yeah, fine.
405
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,279
Go off by yourself.
406
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:56,813
See how you like it.
407
00:16:56,848 --> 00:16:58,649
After a week of cooking
your own meals,
408
00:16:58,683 --> 00:17:00,484
doing your own dishes,
washing your own hair,
409
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,718
you'll be back.
410
00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:15,782
Oh, well, well, well,
411
00:17:15,816 --> 00:17:19,186
if it isn't the ultimate
driving machine.
412
00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:21,488
Okay, okay, I give up.
413
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,891
Look, I'll tell you
the real story,
414
00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:25,025
but it's kind
of personal
415
00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:26,627
so can we do this
in private?
416
00:17:26,661 --> 00:17:27,794
Sure, you bet.
You bet.
417
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,631
Say, if you're
too embarrassed
to say something,
418
00:17:30,665 --> 00:17:31,998
feel free
to act it out.
419
00:17:35,904 --> 00:17:37,872
I was living in a
women's dorm on campus...
420
00:17:37,906 --> 00:17:38,873
Mm-hmm.
421
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:40,474
...and one night
a fire broke out.
422
00:17:40,509 --> 00:17:41,709
Ah.
423
00:17:41,743 --> 00:17:43,243
Well, I didn't have time
to change my clothes,
424
00:17:43,277 --> 00:17:44,644
so I had to run out
to the parking lot
425
00:17:44,679 --> 00:17:45,879
wearing only a teddy;
426
00:17:45,914 --> 00:17:48,883
black,
but see-through.
427
00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:51,735
All of a sudden,
I was caught
428
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,386
in this fire engine's
headlights.
429
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:55,005
I didn't know what to do.
430
00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:57,057
I looked all around,
and suddenly,
431
00:17:57,091 --> 00:17:58,993
I spotted this
open convertible.
432
00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:01,595
I climbed in,
and I slunk down
433
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:03,263
to the backseat.
434
00:18:03,297 --> 00:18:06,600
Suddenly, this
hulking fireman
435
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,669
was standing over me.
436
00:18:08,703 --> 00:18:10,738
He was magnificent.
437
00:18:12,723 --> 00:18:14,808
I looked in his eyes.
438
00:18:14,842 --> 00:18:16,760
I knew what he wanted,
439
00:18:16,794 --> 00:18:18,161
and I wanted it, too.
440
00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:23,734
I peeled off his black
rubber raincoat.
441
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:26,703
He ripped off my teddy.
442
00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:32,492
I can still feel the
heat on my flesh.
443
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:37,364
But it wasn't the fire--
444
00:18:37,399 --> 00:18:39,499
it was us.
445
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,535
When it was over,
446
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:42,836
I opened my eyes,
447
00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:45,322
and I noticed
we weren't alone.
448
00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:49,276
Others had watched
and not said a word.
449
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:55,098
And that's why I'm known
as "Backseat Becky."
450
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,267
Satisfied?
451
00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:11,615
Thanks for the
story, Carla.
452
00:19:11,649 --> 00:19:14,184
Here's your ten bucks.
453
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:21,458
Yeah, the $20 one
would have killed him.
454
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,061
So wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
455
00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:26,663
Why do they call you
"Backseat Becky."
456
00:19:26,697 --> 00:19:28,699
That will cost
you a hundred.
457
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:32,235
Hey, you know,
you're kind of a pig.
458
00:19:33,337 --> 00:19:35,238
Maybe we can be friends.
459
00:19:37,909 --> 00:19:38,976
Excuse me.
460
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:42,345
I've got to find
Norm Peterson.
461
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,548
Does Mr. Peterson know
what this is about?
462
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,050
Never mind.
There he is.
463
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,752
Norman.
Hi.
464
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:49,987
You got to help me.
465
00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:51,188
I'm desperate.
What?
466
00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,457
Cliff's locked himself
in the house.
467
00:19:53,491 --> 00:19:54,959
No, I've tried everything.
468
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,126
He won't budge.
469
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,795
Ours is the last house
on the block
470
00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:00,464
scheduled for demolition,
and that's today.
471
00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:01,665
I'm at my wit's end.
472
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,866
You got to help me.
473
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,868
I'll talk to him.
474
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,320
I'll see what I can do.
475
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:07,520
Oh, thank you, Norm.
476
00:20:07,555 --> 00:20:09,689
I hope he doesn't
try anything crazy.
477
00:20:09,724 --> 00:20:11,825
The last thing on Earth
I want to see
478
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,661
is my son's face
on the 11:00 news.
479
00:20:14,695 --> 00:20:18,047
There's a whole city out there
that agrees with ya.
480
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:26,556
( machinery clattering loudly )
481
00:20:31,095 --> 00:20:34,765
( machinery clattering loudly )
482
00:20:37,952 --> 00:20:39,352
( clattering continues )
483
00:20:46,261 --> 00:20:49,730
( machinery clattering loudly )
484
00:20:49,764 --> 00:20:53,233
( clattering continues )
485
00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:59,740
( clattering continues )
486
00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:03,877
( whistle blows )
487
00:21:03,911 --> 00:21:05,578
( machinery stops )
488
00:21:05,613 --> 00:21:08,148
...the world's biggest ass!
489
00:21:09,634 --> 00:21:10,600
Clifford,
490
00:21:10,635 --> 00:21:13,003
now take off
those silly handcuffs.
491
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,938
I can't.
492
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:16,190
I flushed the key.
493
00:21:16,224 --> 00:21:18,258
Norman,
494
00:21:18,293 --> 00:21:20,878
go outside and see
if you can find some tin snips.
495
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:21,895
Ask for Biff.
496
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,030
He loaned us the hard hats.
497
00:21:27,151 --> 00:21:30,654
Clifford, sometimes I
really worry about you.
498
00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:32,739
Look what they did to Elmer.
499
00:21:35,676 --> 00:21:40,346
I'm sorry, dear,
but what can we do?
500
00:21:40,381 --> 00:21:42,015
Come on, Ma,
you're the one who taught me
501
00:21:42,049 --> 00:21:43,349
that if you believe
in something,
502
00:21:43,384 --> 00:21:44,517
if you really want it,
503
00:21:44,551 --> 00:21:46,552
then you're just going
to have to fight for it.
504
00:21:46,587 --> 00:21:48,438
The house is sold.
505
00:21:48,472 --> 00:21:49,907
They're going to tear it down.
506
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:52,592
Well, then I am going
down with it.
507
00:21:52,627 --> 00:21:55,712
Clifford,
508
00:21:55,746 --> 00:22:00,333
does this house really mean
that much to you?
509
00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:01,634
Yeah, Ma.
510
00:22:01,669 --> 00:22:03,837
Yeah, it really does.
511
00:22:07,642 --> 00:22:11,778
( voice breaking ):
Then it means that much
to me, too.
512
00:22:13,064 --> 00:22:15,598
I don't know what we'll do.
513
00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:16,833
We'll find a lawyer.
514
00:22:16,867 --> 00:22:19,553
We're going to
fight this together.
515
00:22:19,587 --> 00:22:21,187
We'll save our home.
516
00:22:21,221 --> 00:22:23,323
Oh, Ma, together?
Really?
517
00:22:23,357 --> 00:22:25,826
Really, son.
518
00:22:27,578 --> 00:22:28,778
Oh!
519
00:22:28,812 --> 00:22:30,797
( Cliff shrieks )
520
00:22:30,832 --> 00:22:33,100
What are you
going to with that thing?
521
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:34,334
Cut your handcuffs off.
522
00:22:34,368 --> 00:22:36,603
Yeah? Well, that's
a little bit dangerous!
523
00:22:36,637 --> 00:22:38,956
What? No, no. I'm wearing
a hard hat. It's okay.
524
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:41,507
A hard hat?
Get that thing away from me!
525
00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,109
Cut the post!
526
00:22:43,144 --> 00:22:45,345
Isn't that a little drastic?
527
00:22:45,379 --> 00:22:47,714
No, Ma, I think we're going
to remodel in here anyway.
528
00:22:47,748 --> 00:22:48,598
( engine revving )
529
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:04,047
( grunts )
530
00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,115
There.
531
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:07,584
I think we're going
to beat this thing.
532
00:23:07,618 --> 00:23:08,952
So do I.
533
00:23:08,986 --> 00:23:11,521
Now we're going
to find a lawyer.
534
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:12,639
Okay.
535
00:23:12,673 --> 00:23:15,242
But first,
I want to treat you boys
536
00:23:15,276 --> 00:23:16,910
to a Popsicle!
537
00:23:16,944 --> 00:23:18,912
( laughs ):
Oh, Ma.
538
00:23:18,946 --> 00:23:20,280
( wood creaking )
539
00:23:20,314 --> 00:23:22,548
What was that?
540
00:23:22,583 --> 00:23:25,886
Ah, probably just a
squirrel on the roof.
541
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,071
( wood creaking )
542
00:23:28,105 --> 00:23:30,674
NORM:
Big one.
543
00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:32,125
( loud creaking )
544
00:23:32,159 --> 00:23:34,127
Uh-oh! Ma!
545
00:23:43,888 --> 00:23:45,322
( metallic creaking )
546
00:23:45,356 --> 00:23:46,490
( crashing )
547
00:23:57,635 --> 00:23:59,502
Imagine...
548
00:23:59,537 --> 00:24:03,556
we got a quarter of a million
for this dump.
549
00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:05,709
( door slams shut )
550
00:24:05,743 --> 00:24:06,843
( glass shatters )
551
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,073
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