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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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- [Robot Woman] Hi.
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Hi.
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00:00:05,218 --> 00:00:07,429
(laughing)
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(upbeat pop rock music)
7
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♪ I just wanna rock you ♪
8
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♪ I just wanna Rockula ♪
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♪ I just wanna rock you ♪
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00:00:46,259 --> 00:00:50,222
♪ I just wanna Rockula ♪
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00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:53,517
(upbeat pop rock music)
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00:01:28,552 --> 00:01:30,762
♪ You know I just wanna rock you ♪
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00:01:30,762 --> 00:01:35,725
♪ You know I just wanna Rockula ♪
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00:01:37,769 --> 00:01:40,063
♪ You know I just wanna rock you ♪
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00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:44,985
♪ You know I just wanna Rockula ♪
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00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:52,117
♪ Rock you ♪
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00:01:52,117 --> 00:01:53,994
♪ Rock ♪
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00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:04,546
(slow, tense, creepy music)
19
00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:20,937
(synth music)
20
00:02:30,822 --> 00:02:31,781
- [Ralph] Ah!
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00:02:31,781 --> 00:02:33,158
- Ralph.
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00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:34,993
This place is a mess.
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00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:37,162
- [Ralph] Mom, I'm trying to practice.
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00:02:37,162 --> 00:02:38,204
- Well honey could you do me a favor
25
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:40,040
and lock up tonight?
26
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,834
I got a date with a very nice man.
27
00:02:43,877 --> 00:02:45,420
- Who is it this time mom?
28
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,880
- Well I'm not sure yet but I will know
29
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,548
him when I see him.
30
00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:51,134
(sighing)
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00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:52,510
Oh.
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00:02:52,510 --> 00:02:54,179
I always forget.
33
00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:55,555
- Mom, I've always meant to ask you,
34
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:57,098
how do you put your makeup on?
35
00:02:57,098 --> 00:02:58,391
- Practice.
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00:02:58,391 --> 00:03:00,435
- Ralphie, how do I look?
37
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:06,441
- You look great, mom.
38
00:03:06,441 --> 00:03:07,317
(hissing)
39
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:10,278
- Ooo, that's why I love my Ralphie.
40
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:12,864
(kissing)
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00:03:12,864 --> 00:03:14,908
My boy, my boy, mama boy.
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00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:26,711
(quirky music)
43
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:38,264
(slow organ music)
44
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:55,782
- Hey Ralph.
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00:03:58,284 --> 00:03:59,077
Ralphie.
46
00:04:00,745 --> 00:04:02,497
- What do you want?
47
00:04:02,497 --> 00:04:04,708
- Come here and talk to me.
48
00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:08,545
(clapping)
49
00:04:08,545 --> 00:04:09,587
How's it hangin'?
50
00:04:09,587 --> 00:04:11,339
- Is that all you wanted?
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00:04:11,339 --> 00:04:14,342
To ask me, (clapping) "How's it hangin'?"
52
00:04:14,342 --> 00:04:17,011
- Come on Ralphie, I'm worried about you.
53
00:04:17,011 --> 00:04:20,056
A couple of hours it's
gonna be Friday the 13th.
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00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:22,642
Let me guess, you have a headache, right?
55
00:04:22,642 --> 00:04:24,477
- Right, and a sore throat, too.
56
00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:25,645
- And you think you're
coming down with the flu
57
00:04:25,645 --> 00:04:27,522
or something really serious, right?
58
00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,691
- Right, I just can't go
through with this again.
59
00:04:29,691 --> 00:04:31,067
- Let me see your tongue.
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00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:31,860
Come on.
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00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,866
Nah, it doesn't look too bad.
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00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:39,075
Is that a new retainer?
63
00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,452
- Yeah, it hurts like heck.
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00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:42,370
(laughing)
65
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,246
- I'm sorry.
66
00:04:43,246 --> 00:04:45,457
I know, this legend thing is tough.
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00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:48,084
Let's take a moment and reflect.
68
00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:50,086
Reflect!
69
00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:50,920
Get it?
70
00:04:51,129 --> 00:04:52,338
Mirror, reflect.
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00:04:52,547 --> 00:04:54,632
God, I kill myself.
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00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:57,218
- [Ralph] Reflect, real funny.
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00:04:57,218 --> 00:04:59,888
Sometimes I really hate that guy.
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00:04:59,888 --> 00:05:00,722
What am I saying?
75
00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:01,973
He's me.
76
00:05:01,973 --> 00:05:04,058
I guess that means I hate myself.
77
00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,186
Why am I confused?
78
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:09,022
(slow blues music)
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00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:19,616
Vampires are so misunderstand.
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00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,494
- Well you gotta admit, they
got a bloodthirsty reputation.
81
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:24,287
- Do I look bloodthirsty?
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00:05:24,287 --> 00:05:27,540
I can't stand the sight of
blood, I swear, I faint.
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00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,708
- [Chuck] What about garlic?
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00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:29,918
- I cook with it all the time.
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00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:30,960
It's good for colds.
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00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,795
Did you know that?
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00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:33,671
- Let me see if I can get this straight.
88
00:05:33,671 --> 00:05:35,507
Around the middle of
the 16th century, you--
89
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:36,758
- 17th, right?
90
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,051
- Right.
91
00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:39,427
- Whenever.
92
00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:40,720
A long time ago.
93
00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:45,308
You met this girl, you fell in love.
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00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:47,769
But there was a problem,
she had a boyfriend.
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00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:48,603
- A pirate.
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00:05:48,603 --> 00:05:49,437
- A pirate?
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00:05:49,437 --> 00:05:50,355
- Pirate.
98
00:05:50,355 --> 00:05:51,231
- Whatever.
99
00:05:52,398 --> 00:05:54,275
Now, she loved you, right?
100
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,944
So you were gonna slip off, get married,
101
00:05:55,944 --> 00:05:58,112
when old peg leg finds out, has a shit fit
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00:05:58,112 --> 00:05:59,030
and comes after you.
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00:05:59,030 --> 00:05:59,989
- Pissed as hell.
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00:05:59,989 --> 00:06:03,117
- I just established his mental state.
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00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:06,120
So there's a fight.
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00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,039
Peg leg loses his sword
and what's her name
107
00:06:08,039 --> 00:06:10,375
gets killed by a blow to
the head with a ham bone?
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00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,209
- Mona.
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00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:12,252
Her name was Mona.
110
00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:13,127
- Whatever.
111
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,172
You tried to save her,
but what could you do
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00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,091
in the face of 20 pissed
off pirate friends
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00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:20,009
of peg leg's, who were going to turn you
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00:06:20,009 --> 00:06:21,803
into bat meat and so you beat it.
115
00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:24,222
- [Raphael] He escaped
by the skin of his teeth.
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00:06:24,222 --> 00:06:25,807
- Right.
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00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:27,100
And since she was killed before you could
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00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,893
fulfill your preordained lot--
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00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,813
- Before he could give
her that final, fatal kiss
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00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:33,314
and turn her into a vampire.
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00:06:33,314 --> 00:06:34,190
- Whatever.
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00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:38,903
She is now reincarnated every 22 years
123
00:06:38,903 --> 00:06:40,738
until you two can get it right, right?
124
00:06:40,738 --> 00:06:41,573
- Right.
125
00:06:41,573 --> 00:06:43,032
- And so tomorrow you are gonna meet her
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00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,159
as you've done every 22 years,
127
00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,369
you'll fall in love,
128
00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:47,912
and unless you save her,
129
00:06:47,912 --> 00:06:51,583
this crazed pirate with a
rhinestone peg leg will kill her.
130
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,001
- On Halloween.
131
00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:54,544
- You got it.
132
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,254
- What are you gonna do?
133
00:06:56,254 --> 00:06:57,797
- I'm gonna do what I
should have done years ago.
134
00:06:57,797 --> 00:06:59,132
I'm gonna lock myself in my room
135
00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:01,509
and avoid this whole thing.
136
00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:03,177
- Well, you're not gonna meet her?
137
00:07:03,177 --> 00:07:04,929
- You're not gonna fall in love?
138
00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:07,390
- She's better off without me.
139
00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:15,899
- Man, that dude's sure got the blues.
140
00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:16,691
Mm mm mm.
141
00:07:17,775 --> 00:07:20,653
(slow blues music)
142
00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:25,366
(tires skidding)
(horn honking)
143
00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:29,704
(crashing)
(screaming)
144
00:07:29,704 --> 00:07:31,205
- [Mona] He just ran out in front of us.
145
00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:33,499
- [Woman In Glasses] Look he's moving.
146
00:07:33,499 --> 00:07:35,293
- Are you alright?
147
00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:36,711
- Oh god, Mona.
148
00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,296
- Why don't you watch where you're going?
149
00:07:38,296 --> 00:07:41,674
I could have, how did you know my name?
150
00:07:41,674 --> 00:07:42,926
- I don't know your name.
151
00:07:42,926 --> 00:07:43,760
You don't know my name.
152
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,304
Just pretend this never happened, okay?
153
00:07:46,304 --> 00:07:48,139
- It never would have
happened if you hadn't
154
00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,183
jumped out in front of my car.
155
00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:52,477
I hope for your sake
my gear isn't crashed.
156
00:07:52,477 --> 00:07:54,520
- Just forget you ever saw
me, okay, 'cause the next
157
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,439
thing you know, we're
gonna go out on a date
158
00:07:56,439 --> 00:08:00,026
and we're gonna fall in love
and then some crazy pirate's
159
00:08:00,026 --> 00:08:02,487
gonna peg with you a ham bone.
160
00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:06,950
(slow music)
161
00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:09,661
- Hey.
162
00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:11,412
You forgot your hat.
163
00:08:11,412 --> 00:08:12,705
- What a weirdo.
164
00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:16,167
(slow music)
165
00:08:18,336 --> 00:08:19,712
(tsking)
166
00:08:19,712 --> 00:08:20,630
- What?
167
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,382
- You ran away from her didn't you?
168
00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:24,092
- For your information,
I didn't just run away,
169
00:08:24,092 --> 00:08:25,176
I had a plan.
170
00:08:25,176 --> 00:08:26,010
- Really?
171
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:26,844
And what was that?
172
00:08:26,844 --> 00:08:29,472
- I ran, I left, so she
doesn't get involved with me.
173
00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:31,557
She doesn't get involved with
me, we don't fall in love,
174
00:08:31,557 --> 00:08:32,892
she doesn't die, get it?
175
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:35,061
- Make a left at MIT, Einstein.
176
00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:37,271
- It's about this, Mr. Wise Guy.
177
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,107
This happens every 22 years so that means
178
00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:42,235
in the last 400 years, I
have met, fallen in love,
179
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,946
and lost Mona 14.5 times.
180
00:08:44,946 --> 00:08:46,447
- Talk about coitus interuptus.
181
00:08:46,447 --> 00:08:47,782
- And every time it gets worse.
182
00:08:47,782 --> 00:08:49,867
This time, no way, forget it.
183
00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,452
- That's right.
184
00:08:51,452 --> 00:08:53,621
Forget it, just forget
the fact that we are
185
00:08:53,621 --> 00:08:56,332
the oldest living virgins
walking the planet.
186
00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,291
- What are you talking about?
187
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,376
You are the biggest slut I know.
188
00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:00,294
Every time I see you
with a different girl.
189
00:09:00,294 --> 00:09:01,963
- They mean nothing to me, Ralph.
190
00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:02,880
It's Mona.
191
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,298
I want you to get Mona.
192
00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:07,385
That means I get out of
this crazy mirror thing.
193
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:09,846
It's like a prison in here, Ralph.
194
00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:11,264
Everything's backwards.
195
00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:12,306
- I knew it, I knew it.
196
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:14,642
This is about you, this
is always about you.
197
00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:16,352
- Wrong, Ralphfalfa.
198
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:17,895
It's about you.
199
00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:18,938
Because any way you look at it,
200
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:21,607
she's got two weeks 'til
she bites the big one.
201
00:09:21,607 --> 00:09:24,068
(guitar riff)
202
00:09:27,864 --> 00:09:29,699
- What's wrong?
203
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,491
- Nothing.
204
00:09:32,076 --> 00:09:34,328
I was just thinking
about the accident and--
205
00:09:34,328 --> 00:09:35,913
- Did somebody say accident?
206
00:09:35,913 --> 00:09:36,873
- Yeah.
207
00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:38,416
We had an accident.
208
00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:40,293
- Just set it up over there.
209
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:41,502
What kind of an accident?
210
00:09:41,502 --> 00:09:43,796
None of my equipment's damaged, I hope.
211
00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,715
You know, I got a hell
of a deal on this stuff.
212
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:46,799
When you're working with a guy like me,
213
00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:48,426
that's what we're talking, deals.
214
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,011
Let me just show you this little gizmo.
215
00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:51,471
This is the most amazing device.
216
00:09:51,471 --> 00:09:53,389
It samples anything from babies crying
217
00:09:53,389 --> 00:09:54,932
to dogs barking.
218
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,476
Hey, what's the matter with this thing?
219
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,935
It wasn't this that got broken, was it?
220
00:09:57,935 --> 00:09:58,853
- Broken?
221
00:09:58,853 --> 00:09:59,687
- In the accident.
222
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:01,522
- Stanley, it's not broken.
223
00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:03,858
Besides, it was a car accident.
224
00:10:03,858 --> 00:10:05,401
We're trying to rehearse.
225
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:06,819
- Car accident?
226
00:10:06,819 --> 00:10:08,488
Nobody killed I hope.
227
00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:10,364
Hit it boys.
228
00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:14,494
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
229
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:17,955
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
230
00:10:17,955 --> 00:10:21,834
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
231
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,712
♪ Come to Stanley's Deathpark ♪
232
00:10:24,712 --> 00:10:26,589
Howdy folks, Stan "The Man' Wilson here
233
00:10:26,589 --> 00:10:28,966
from Stanley's Deathpark
where we take the death
234
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:29,884
out of dying.
235
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:31,636
This Sunday marks our Heaven on Earth sale
236
00:10:31,636 --> 00:10:34,013
and let's face it folks,
it's a sale that some of you
237
00:10:34,013 --> 00:10:36,182
aren't going to miss.
238
00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:37,433
Take a look at this baby,
239
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:39,352
the streamlined Death 2000,
240
00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:40,311
our top of the line.
241
00:10:40,311 --> 00:10:43,356
This week, yours for only $1995.
242
00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:45,316
A little steep, do I hear you say?
243
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:46,818
Then how about going Dutch on our
244
00:10:46,818 --> 00:10:50,571
eternal economy model, only
$100 over factory invoice.
245
00:10:50,571 --> 00:10:51,405
How do we do it?
246
00:10:51,405 --> 00:10:53,616
Volume, volume, volume.
247
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,743
So, bring the family, come on
down and while you're here,
248
00:10:55,743 --> 00:10:59,163
check out our revolutionary
cryogenic process.
249
00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,582
Open 12 to 12 for your
shopping convenience.
250
00:11:01,582 --> 00:11:02,542
See ya here.
251
00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:09,382
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
252
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:12,844
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
253
00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:16,764
♪ Come to Stanley's, Stan's the man ♪
254
00:11:16,764 --> 00:11:21,435
♪ Come to Stanley's Deathpark ♪
255
00:11:21,435 --> 00:11:23,604
(clapping)
256
00:11:24,647 --> 00:11:27,859
Listen, I directed it myself, you know?
257
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:31,070
So, uh, what do you think, angel cakes?
258
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:36,159
- I thought it was kind of cute.
259
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,746
(slow, tense music)
260
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:07,356
(soft orchestral music)
261
00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:26,083
- [Phoebe] Ralphie, is that you?
262
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,085
- [Ralph] Drat.
263
00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,170
Hi, mom.
264
00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,213
- It's about time you got home.
265
00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:32,131
I was getting worried about you, honey.
266
00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:33,382
Could you give me a hand with this?
267
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:34,842
- Sure.
268
00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:38,137
(soft orchestral music)
269
00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:40,348
You been here long?
270
00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:41,349
- Oh, Heaven's no.
271
00:12:41,349 --> 00:12:44,602
I've been here, I mean,
we've been here, for hours.
272
00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:45,478
- Who's we?
273
00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:48,773
- I've almost located the Spanish galleon.
274
00:12:48,773 --> 00:12:49,690
It's close.
275
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,900
I can feel it.
276
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,193
- Great, Jacques Cousteau.
277
00:12:52,193 --> 00:12:55,529
- Just follow that trail
of deblooms, Big Al.
278
00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:56,614
Ah.
279
00:12:56,614 --> 00:12:58,699
Big Al, this is my brother, Ralph.
280
00:12:58,699 --> 00:13:01,077
- Big Al Johnson, scrap iron, St. Louis.
281
00:13:01,077 --> 00:13:03,079
- I'm Little Ralph Levee.
282
00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:04,372
- So what's your game Little Ralph?
283
00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:05,206
- Game?
284
00:13:05,206 --> 00:13:06,999
- Yeah, what do you do?
285
00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,334
- I'm a vampire.
286
00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:10,544
(laughing)
287
00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:20,680
(moaning)
288
00:13:23,224 --> 00:13:25,309
You make me sick.
289
00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:26,352
- What?
290
00:13:26,352 --> 00:13:27,853
I'm clean.
291
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:30,481
This is, no, not now, no.
292
00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:33,109
I-- (knocking)
293
00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,319
- I'll deal with you later.
294
00:13:40,783 --> 00:13:43,661
I was just going to bed mom,
could you hit the light?
295
00:13:43,661 --> 00:13:44,787
- In a minute.
296
00:13:46,914 --> 00:13:48,082
So.
297
00:13:48,082 --> 00:13:49,292
Tell me about your night.
298
00:13:49,292 --> 00:13:50,960
- There's nothing to tell.
299
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,921
- Come on, honey, I know what day it is.
300
00:13:53,921 --> 00:13:54,922
You met her, didn't you?
301
00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:55,756
- I didn't meet her.
302
00:13:55,756 --> 00:13:57,508
I told you, I've had it with
the legend ruining my life
303
00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:58,843
every 22 years.
304
00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,803
- Ralphie, where's your hat?
305
00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:02,471
- I must have lost it in the car acc--
306
00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:04,181
Card, card game.
307
00:14:04,181 --> 00:14:06,517
I lost it in a card game, mom.
308
00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:08,102
- Well, okay.
309
00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:09,103
It's your legacy.
310
00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,730
You can do anything you want with it.
311
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,481
But whether you've met her or not,
312
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:13,899
that poor girl is gonna die in two weeks
313
00:14:13,899 --> 00:14:16,610
unless you do something about it.
314
00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:23,492
(howling)
315
00:14:25,202 --> 00:14:26,412
Honey.
316
00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:27,371
Go to sleep.
317
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,625
(door slamming)
318
00:14:33,336 --> 00:14:36,297
(upbeat rock music)
319
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:45,514
♪ Every girl needs a hero ♪
320
00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:48,476
♪ Every girl needs a Romeo ♪
321
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:53,439
♪ To capture her heart ♪
322
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:58,861
♪ Every man needs a girl in distress ♪
323
00:14:58,861 --> 00:15:02,490
♪ Tied to the feisty lips ♪
324
00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:07,453
♪ Torn dress ♪
325
00:15:08,579 --> 00:15:12,750
♪ I can tell by how you look at me ♪
326
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:17,129
♪ There's a lover in your eyes ♪
327
00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:20,966
♪ But my heart is under lock and key ♪
328
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:25,930
♪ And it waits for you and cries ♪
329
00:15:26,972 --> 00:15:28,349
♪ Oh ♪
330
00:15:28,349 --> 00:15:33,312
♪ Break these chains on my
heart, chains on my heart ♪
331
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:37,274
♪ Only you can set me free ♪
332
00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:42,238
♪ Break these chains on my
heart, chains on my heart ♪
333
00:15:43,489 --> 00:15:46,867
♪ I'll wait for you to rescue me ♪
334
00:15:46,867 --> 00:15:49,745
♪ And if it takes forever ♪
335
00:15:49,745 --> 00:15:53,874
♪ I will wait for you, wait for you ♪
336
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:59,505
(upbeat rock music)
(people cheering)
337
00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:12,309
- Hey.
338
00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:21,193
- No!
339
00:16:24,071 --> 00:16:26,782
(men chattering)
340
00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:39,712
(cheering)
341
00:16:39,712 --> 00:16:40,504
- Hey.
342
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,340
- Is it true that you've
forsaken your legacy
343
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,135
and the girl of your dreams?
344
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:46,927
- What?
345
00:16:48,179 --> 00:16:50,389
(cheering)
346
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:55,436
(banging)
347
00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:08,699
(loud banging)
348
00:17:08,699 --> 00:17:09,492
No.
349
00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:12,828
(screaming)
350
00:17:19,293 --> 00:17:21,712
- Ralph, what are you doing?
351
00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:23,088
Ralph, answer me.
352
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,424
- I'm gonna find her.
353
00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:26,425
- And do what?
354
00:17:26,425 --> 00:17:27,259
- What do you think?
355
00:17:27,259 --> 00:17:28,093
I'm gonna save her.
356
00:17:28,093 --> 00:17:29,470
- Yeah, I've heard that song before.
357
00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:30,804
- No, no, it's different.
358
00:17:30,804 --> 00:17:32,223
I just have this feeling
that if I don't save her
359
00:17:32,223 --> 00:17:35,684
this time, I'm gonna lose her forever.
360
00:17:35,684 --> 00:17:36,685
- [Reflection Ralph]
You're no exactly playing
361
00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:38,562
major league ball now.
362
00:17:38,562 --> 00:17:39,396
What are you?
363
00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:40,231
Zero for fourteen.
364
00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:42,858
Oh excuse me, is it 15 now?
365
00:17:42,858 --> 00:17:44,985
- [Ralph] You're a total
dick you know that?
366
00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:47,947
(hissing)
367
00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:49,365
- You're gonna go out in the sunlight?
368
00:17:49,365 --> 00:17:50,866
- I'm protected.
369
00:17:50,866 --> 00:17:51,909
- Brave man.
370
00:17:51,909 --> 00:17:54,036
How you gonna find her?
371
00:17:54,036 --> 00:17:54,870
- She's in a band.
372
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,121
How hard could she be to find?
373
00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:58,874
- Ralph, there must be 15,000
bands in the tri-state area.
374
00:17:58,874 --> 00:18:00,292
That's a lot of ground.
375
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:01,794
How are you gonna cover it?
376
00:18:01,794 --> 00:18:03,504
- I'm a vampire, I'll fly.
377
00:18:03,504 --> 00:18:04,797
- No, no, no!
378
00:18:04,797 --> 00:18:08,926
(Ralph screaming)
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
379
00:18:10,594 --> 00:18:13,597
(groaning)
380
00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:17,059
(birds chirping)
381
00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:19,353
- I think I'll take the bus.
382
00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:21,689
- What a loser.
383
00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,570
(upbeat rock music)
384
00:18:30,864 --> 00:18:33,492
♪ Hey ♪
385
00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,453
(upbeat rock music)
386
00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:48,382
♪ Now come on ♪
387
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:50,175
♪ Hey Mona ♪
388
00:18:50,175 --> 00:18:53,220
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
389
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,179
♪ Hey Mona ♪
390
00:18:54,179 --> 00:18:56,932
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
391
00:18:56,932 --> 00:18:58,517
♪ Hey Mona ♪
392
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:01,854
♪ Well hey, hey, hey, hey Mona ♪
393
00:19:01,854 --> 00:19:02,855
♪ Hey Mona ♪
394
00:19:02,855 --> 00:19:05,441
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
395
00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:09,778
♪ Hey Mona, hey hey Mona ♪
396
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,822
♪ Hey Mona ♪
397
00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:13,866
♪ Hey Mona ♪
398
00:19:13,866 --> 00:19:15,826
♪ I been to the east ♪
399
00:19:15,826 --> 00:19:18,162
♪ I been to the west ♪
400
00:19:18,162 --> 00:19:22,374
♪ I ask my homeboys,
have no rest, I said ♪
401
00:19:22,374 --> 00:19:26,587
♪ Have you seen my Mona ♪
402
00:19:26,587 --> 00:19:30,466
♪ Have you seen my girl ♪
403
00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:34,136
♪ I can't say how and I can't say when ♪
404
00:19:34,136 --> 00:19:38,432
♪ But I'm gonna bring my
Mona back home again ♪
405
00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:39,391
♪ I said hey ♪
406
00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:40,934
♪ Hey Mona ♪
407
00:19:40,934 --> 00:19:43,604
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
408
00:19:43,604 --> 00:19:45,147
♪ Hey Mona ♪
409
00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,900
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
410
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,443
♪ Hey Mona ♪
411
00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:52,112
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
412
00:19:52,112 --> 00:19:53,781
♪ Hey Mona ♪
413
00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:56,325
♪ M-M-M-M-M-M Mona ♪
414
00:19:56,325 --> 00:20:00,788
♪ Hey Mona, hey, hey, Mona ♪
415
00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:02,247
♪ Hey Mona ♪
416
00:20:02,247 --> 00:20:04,833
♪ Hey, hey Mona ♪
417
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,919
♪ I been to the nightclub ♪
418
00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:09,004
♪ I been to the street ♪
419
00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:10,839
♪ I ask everybody ♪
420
00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:13,592
♪ Everyone I meet, I say ♪
421
00:20:13,592 --> 00:20:14,968
♪ Have you seen my Mona ♪
422
00:20:14,968 --> 00:20:16,679
Hey Ralphie, you wanna play some hoop?
423
00:20:16,679 --> 00:20:19,306
(ball bouncing)
424
00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:23,769
Have you seen a yellow
brick road around here?
425
00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:25,979
- Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
426
00:20:25,979 --> 00:20:27,398
- What do you mean?
427
00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:30,150
- I mean, maybe I wasn't
meant to find Mona.
428
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:32,986
Maybe this is just some
sort of karmic debt
429
00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:33,904
I'm paying off.
430
00:20:33,904 --> 00:20:36,490
Maybe my first instincts were right.
431
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,535
Maybe I should just forget
about this whole thing
432
00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:41,370
and join a monastery.
433
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,288
But, what about Mona?
434
00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:46,208
What sort of everlasting
hell am I damning her to?
435
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:47,835
Maybe, no, yeah, no.
436
00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:49,753
I should be strong.
437
00:20:49,753 --> 00:20:50,963
I'll be strong.
438
00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:51,797
- Hey.
439
00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:52,631
Would you make up your mind?
440
00:20:52,631 --> 00:20:55,676
I'm feeling like Sonny and Cher here.
441
00:20:59,346 --> 00:21:00,472
That's better.
442
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:02,850
I wonder if, uh...
443
00:21:04,059 --> 00:21:05,561
(unzipping)
444
00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:06,687
(laughing)
445
00:21:06,687 --> 00:21:08,897
Ralph, would you look at the size of this?
446
00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:12,276
- Oh Christ, would you
put that thing away?
447
00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:13,235
(zipping)
- Listen.
448
00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:15,028
If you were meant to find Mona, you will.
449
00:21:15,028 --> 00:21:17,906
If you weren't you won't, so relax.
450
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:24,663
See what I mean?
451
00:21:25,581 --> 00:21:28,459
(upbeat pop music)
452
00:21:40,179 --> 00:21:41,889
♪ What's your game ♪
453
00:21:41,889 --> 00:21:43,974
♪ What's the deal ♪
454
00:21:43,974 --> 00:21:48,061
♪ Now I know how a wild animal feels ♪
455
00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:49,813
♪ These other guys ♪
456
00:21:49,813 --> 00:21:51,815
♪ When they try ♪
457
00:21:51,815 --> 00:21:56,278
♪ Can't release me from
this feeling inside ♪
458
00:21:56,278 --> 00:21:57,905
♪ Want to hold ♪
459
00:21:57,905 --> 00:21:59,823
♪ Want to touch ♪
460
00:21:59,823 --> 00:22:02,075
♪ Feel your heartbeat ♪
461
00:22:02,075 --> 00:22:05,579
♪ I want you too much ♪
462
00:22:05,579 --> 00:22:09,333
♪ We could have a thing
between us, you know ♪
463
00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:11,877
♪ Just you and me ♪
464
00:22:11,877 --> 00:22:13,754
♪ Any time you want more ♪
465
00:22:13,754 --> 00:22:15,798
♪ Here's the key to my door ♪
466
00:22:15,798 --> 00:22:17,591
♪ I'm what you're waiting for ♪
467
00:22:17,591 --> 00:22:19,676
♪ Turn me loose ♪
468
00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:23,597
♪ If I'm losing control and
won't do what I'm told ♪
469
00:22:23,597 --> 00:22:28,185
♪ If I'm too hard to hold, turn me loose ♪
470
00:22:28,185 --> 00:22:31,563
♪ Turn me ♪
471
00:22:31,563 --> 00:22:36,068
♪ Turn me loose ♪
472
00:22:36,068 --> 00:22:39,446
♪ Turn me ♪
473
00:22:39,446 --> 00:22:42,074
♪ Turn me loose ♪
474
00:22:43,116 --> 00:22:45,994
(upbeat pop music)
475
00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:49,373
♪ Nothing more ♪
476
00:22:49,373 --> 00:22:51,416
♪ To explain ♪
477
00:22:51,416 --> 00:22:53,794
♪ Kiss me now ♪
478
00:22:53,794 --> 00:22:55,379
♪ Drive me insane ♪
479
00:22:55,379 --> 00:22:59,383
♪ In the dark moonlit night ♪
480
00:22:59,383 --> 00:23:01,385
♪ Capture me ♪
481
00:23:01,385 --> 00:23:03,387
♪ In your arms, hold me tight ♪
482
00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:07,391
♪ Like the breeze when I'm hot ♪
483
00:23:07,391 --> 00:23:09,351
♪ You can free me ♪
484
00:23:09,351 --> 00:23:12,563
♪ Give me what you've got ♪
485
00:23:12,563 --> 00:23:15,858
♪ Don't tell me have a nice day ♪
486
00:23:15,858 --> 00:23:19,444
♪ If you can't make my night ♪
487
00:23:19,444 --> 00:23:21,238
♪ Any time you want more ♪
488
00:23:21,238 --> 00:23:23,198
♪ Here's the key to my door ♪
489
00:23:23,198 --> 00:23:27,202
♪ I'm what you're waiting
for, turn me loose ♪
490
00:23:27,202 --> 00:23:31,081
♪ If I'm losing control and
won't do what I'm told ♪
491
00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:35,669
♪ If I'm too hard to hold, turn me loose ♪
492
00:23:35,669 --> 00:23:39,131
♪ Turn me ♪
493
00:23:39,131 --> 00:23:43,552
♪ Turn me loose ♪
494
00:23:43,552 --> 00:23:47,014
♪ Turn me ♪
495
00:23:47,014 --> 00:23:49,641
♪ Turn me loose ♪
496
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,438
(upbeat pop music)
497
00:24:07,618 --> 00:24:10,746
♪ Turn me ♪
498
00:24:10,746 --> 00:24:15,250
♪ Turn me loose ♪
499
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:18,712
♪ Turn me ♪
500
00:24:18,712 --> 00:24:23,216
♪ Turn me loose ♪
501
00:24:23,216 --> 00:24:26,637
♪ Turn me ♪
502
00:24:26,637 --> 00:24:31,099
♪ Turn me loose ♪
503
00:24:31,099 --> 00:24:34,603
♪ Turn me ♪
504
00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:39,066
♪ Turn me loose ♪
505
00:24:39,066 --> 00:24:42,527
♪ Turn me ♪
506
00:24:42,527 --> 00:24:46,907
♪ Turn me loose ♪
507
00:24:46,907 --> 00:24:50,452
♪ Turn me ♪
508
00:24:50,452 --> 00:24:54,915
♪ Turn me loose ♪
509
00:24:54,915 --> 00:24:57,042
♪ Turn me ♪
510
00:24:58,710 --> 00:25:02,839
(applause)
(cheering)
511
00:25:05,509 --> 00:25:08,470
(people chattering)
512
00:25:24,277 --> 00:25:25,278
- [Mona] Oh my god.
513
00:25:25,278 --> 00:25:26,238
That's him.
514
00:25:26,238 --> 00:25:27,614
- [Robin] That's who?
515
00:25:27,614 --> 00:25:28,448
Where?
516
00:25:28,448 --> 00:25:30,659
- [Mona] Stay here.
517
00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:34,788
(slow music)
(people chattering)
518
00:25:41,211 --> 00:25:42,045
Who are you?
519
00:25:42,045 --> 00:25:43,505
- I'm Ralph.
520
00:25:43,505 --> 00:25:44,506
I like your music.
521
00:25:44,506 --> 00:25:46,967
It's kind of wild, kind of now, kind of--
522
00:25:46,967 --> 00:25:48,510
- Why are you following me?
523
00:25:48,510 --> 00:25:49,761
- I'm not following you.
524
00:25:49,761 --> 00:25:51,221
- Yes you are.
525
00:25:51,221 --> 00:25:53,056
- Okay, I'm following you.
526
00:25:53,056 --> 00:25:55,434
I'm a big fan of yours from way back.
527
00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:56,643
- Who are you?
528
00:25:56,643 --> 00:25:57,769
- I told you, I'm Ralph--
529
00:25:57,769 --> 00:25:59,688
- No, I mean, what do you do?
530
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,106
Are you a musician?
531
00:26:01,106 --> 00:26:02,107
- Yes.
532
00:26:02,107 --> 00:26:03,400
- Do you have a band?
533
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,651
Or do you play by yourself?
534
00:26:04,651 --> 00:26:05,944
- Um, yes.
535
00:26:05,944 --> 00:26:07,571
- Yes, what?
536
00:26:07,571 --> 00:26:09,406
- Yes, I have a band.
537
00:26:09,406 --> 00:26:10,699
- What's the name?
538
00:26:10,699 --> 00:26:11,616
- The name.
539
00:26:11,616 --> 00:26:13,243
- Of the band.
540
00:26:13,243 --> 00:26:14,119
- Um.
541
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,079
We haven't decided yet.
542
00:26:16,079 --> 00:26:19,041
- Oh, um, well what kind of music?
543
00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:23,712
- Well the music, we're
not sure yet what it is.
544
00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:25,088
- Well,
545
00:26:25,088 --> 00:26:26,965
do you play around?
546
00:26:26,965 --> 00:26:29,426
(hitting)
547
00:26:29,426 --> 00:26:30,719
- Excuse me?
548
00:26:30,719 --> 00:26:33,513
- Your band, are you
playing any gigs anywhere?
549
00:26:33,513 --> 00:26:36,641
- Gigs, yes, all the time,
it's amazing, yeah, yeah.
550
00:26:36,641 --> 00:26:38,351
- You are very strange, Ralph.
551
00:26:38,351 --> 00:26:39,186
(Ralph mumbling)
552
00:26:39,186 --> 00:26:40,937
- Mona, darling, I've got
some terribly important people
553
00:26:40,937 --> 00:26:42,147
just dying to meet you.
554
00:26:42,147 --> 00:26:43,398
Will you excuse us?
555
00:26:43,398 --> 00:26:44,232
- Yeah.
556
00:26:44,232 --> 00:26:46,651
- Um, it was so nice to see you again.
557
00:26:46,651 --> 00:26:48,695
Maybe I'll come see your band sometime.
558
00:26:48,695 --> 00:26:49,488
- Maybe.
559
00:26:51,323 --> 00:26:52,949
- Who is that twerp?
560
00:26:54,409 --> 00:26:56,620
- Hey hey little man.
561
00:26:56,620 --> 00:26:57,746
Can I help ya?
562
00:26:58,789 --> 00:26:59,956
- No, I'm enjoying this party--
563
00:26:59,956 --> 00:27:01,124
- Hey, what's this?
564
00:27:01,124 --> 00:27:02,000
(hitting)
- Ouch!
565
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,502
- Bounce him.
566
00:27:03,502 --> 00:27:05,837
(Ralph yelling)
567
00:27:05,837 --> 00:27:07,714
(cat meowing)
568
00:27:07,714 --> 00:27:10,050
(spitting)
569
00:27:10,050 --> 00:27:12,928
(slow blues music)
570
00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:17,599
- Now let me get this straight.
571
00:27:17,599 --> 00:27:19,643
You decided to find her.
572
00:27:19,643 --> 00:27:20,852
- And once you found her?
573
00:27:20,852 --> 00:27:24,064
- I turned into a blithering idiot.
574
00:27:24,064 --> 00:27:26,942
(slow blues music)
575
00:27:30,695 --> 00:27:34,991
There was a moment there,
when she was onstage,
576
00:27:34,991 --> 00:27:36,618
and our eyes locked,
577
00:27:38,745 --> 00:27:42,040
it was like time stood still, you know?
578
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:42,958
(hitting piano)
579
00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:43,792
What is wrong with me?
580
00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:46,795
I am a musician, and a
pretty darn good one at that.
581
00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:48,713
- So, what happened?
582
00:27:48,713 --> 00:27:51,591
(slow blues music)
583
00:27:53,677 --> 00:27:55,762
- Let's face it, I don't
have what it takes.
584
00:27:55,762 --> 00:27:58,473
How can I save her if I
can't even talk to her?
585
00:27:58,473 --> 00:28:00,851
"Maybe I'll see your
band sometime" she says.
586
00:28:00,851 --> 00:28:02,602
What a joke.
587
00:28:02,602 --> 00:28:05,772
(slow blues music)
588
00:28:05,772 --> 00:28:06,606
- Why don't you--
589
00:28:06,606 --> 00:28:07,440
- Why don't you--
590
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,611
(binging)
- Start my own band.
591
00:28:11,611 --> 00:28:14,489
(upbeat pop music)
592
00:28:46,438 --> 00:28:47,355
- You're doing what?
593
00:28:47,355 --> 00:28:49,024
Starting a rock band?
594
00:28:49,024 --> 00:28:51,651
A vampire in a rock band.
595
00:28:51,651 --> 00:28:52,986
What are you going to call it?
596
00:28:52,986 --> 00:28:53,778
Rockula?
597
00:28:54,988 --> 00:28:56,072
- [All] Rockula?
598
00:28:56,072 --> 00:28:56,865
- Rockula.
599
00:28:57,741 --> 00:29:00,035
(whistling)
600
00:29:02,078 --> 00:29:04,956
(doorbell buzzing)
601
00:29:14,341 --> 00:29:17,636
(upbeat pop rock music)
602
00:29:24,851 --> 00:29:26,353
- [Stanley] Like, um,
603
00:29:26,353 --> 00:29:28,438
'cause just like my psychic says,
604
00:29:28,438 --> 00:29:31,358
death, right, is just a
stepping stone to rebirth.
605
00:29:31,358 --> 00:29:33,568
I mean, I think it was
Nietzsche that said I'm just
606
00:29:33,568 --> 00:29:35,987
"Living to die and dying to live."
607
00:29:35,987 --> 00:29:36,821
- Nietzsche said that?
608
00:29:36,821 --> 00:29:38,448
- Yeah, you know, Johnny Nietzsche,
609
00:29:38,448 --> 00:29:42,118
in that band, uh, Marvin
Gandhi and the Monkeyshines.
610
00:29:42,118 --> 00:29:43,078
New age reggae.
611
00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:44,621
- You're such a dork, Stanley.
612
00:29:44,621 --> 00:29:46,248
- You take that back.
613
00:29:46,248 --> 00:29:47,290
- Okay.
614
00:29:47,290 --> 00:29:49,042
You're an egotistical,
pseudo-intellectual,
615
00:29:49,042 --> 00:29:50,669
money grubbing slut.
616
00:29:53,255 --> 00:29:54,464
- I'll buy that.
617
00:29:54,464 --> 00:29:56,091
- Hey!
(cheering)
618
00:29:56,091 --> 00:29:57,384
Thank you!
619
00:29:57,384 --> 00:29:59,594
(cheering)
620
00:30:00,512 --> 00:30:04,307
I'm Ted Brady, this is Club
Hell, thanks for coming, kids.
621
00:30:04,307 --> 00:30:08,603
(kissing)
(cheering)
622
00:30:08,603 --> 00:30:12,023
You kids, you kids, are rock 'n roll,
623
00:30:12,023 --> 00:30:14,067
you are the rock 'n roll,
624
00:30:15,485 --> 00:30:17,404
and this kid is Rockula.
625
00:30:23,076 --> 00:30:26,204
(slow, creepy music)
626
00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:30,542
(upbeat rock music)
627
00:30:42,304 --> 00:30:46,391
♪ He don't walk ♪
628
00:30:46,391 --> 00:30:50,562
♪ He glides ♪
629
00:30:50,562 --> 00:30:52,689
♪ With bat wings and fangs ♪
630
00:30:52,689 --> 00:30:54,357
♪ He's a bloodthirsty dude ♪
631
00:30:54,357 --> 00:30:58,361
♪ Neighbors cry ♪
632
00:30:58,361 --> 00:31:02,198
♪ But he won't ♪
633
00:31:02,198 --> 00:31:06,453
♪ Hurt a fly ♪
634
00:31:06,453 --> 00:31:09,748
♪ If it wasn't for Red Cross donations ♪
635
00:31:09,748 --> 00:31:14,669
♪ This vampire would die ♪
636
00:31:14,878 --> 00:31:18,923
♪ Lived home with mother for 300 years ♪
637
00:31:18,923 --> 00:31:22,969
♪ Bought his new cape at
the neighborhood Sears ♪
638
00:31:22,969 --> 00:31:26,639
♪ It's not a bird, not
a plane that you saw ♪
639
00:31:26,639 --> 00:31:29,684
♪ Crashing into that solid brick wall ♪
640
00:31:29,684 --> 00:31:32,854
♪ He's Rockula ♪
641
00:31:32,854 --> 00:31:35,815
(upbeat rock music)
642
00:31:37,442 --> 00:31:42,405
♪ He's Rockula ♪
643
00:31:46,451 --> 00:31:50,497
♪ He ain't mean ♪
644
00:31:50,497 --> 00:31:54,542
♪ He's nice ♪
645
00:31:54,542 --> 00:31:57,754
♪ He don't neck on first dates ♪
646
00:31:57,754 --> 00:32:02,509
♪ That's his mother's advice ♪
647
00:32:02,509 --> 00:32:06,471
♪ So he stays ♪
648
00:32:06,471 --> 00:32:10,558
♪ Home at nights ♪
649
00:32:10,558 --> 00:32:12,560
♪ Orders Chinese take out ♪
650
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,147
- Some chow mein and a bowl
of steamed rice, please.
651
00:32:16,147 --> 00:32:16,940
Thank you.
652
00:32:19,192 --> 00:32:22,654
♪ Careful, he's trying to take off again ♪
653
00:32:22,654 --> 00:32:24,823
♪ As he jumps out the window ♪
654
00:32:24,823 --> 00:32:27,033
♪ And lands on his head ♪
655
00:32:27,033 --> 00:32:30,662
♪ This kind of vampire
you've never heard of ♪
656
00:32:30,662 --> 00:32:33,748
♪ One that faints at the
sight of fresh blood ♪
657
00:32:33,748 --> 00:32:36,709
♪ He's Rockula ♪
658
00:32:36,709 --> 00:32:40,004
(upbeat pop rock music)
659
00:32:41,673 --> 00:32:44,217
♪ He's Rockula ♪
660
00:32:45,260 --> 00:32:48,555
(upbeat pop rock music)
661
00:32:49,681 --> 00:32:53,101
♪ He's Rockula ♪
662
00:32:53,101 --> 00:32:56,396
(upbeat pop rock music)
663
00:32:57,814 --> 00:33:00,358
♪ He's Rockula ♪
664
00:33:01,693 --> 00:33:04,988
(upbeat pop rock music)
665
00:33:08,074 --> 00:33:10,201
(howling)
666
00:33:13,204 --> 00:33:17,333
(cheering)
(applause)
667
00:33:26,926 --> 00:33:28,136
- Where's Mona?
668
00:33:29,053 --> 00:33:33,183
(cheering)
(applause)
669
00:33:35,393 --> 00:33:37,896
- Rockula, that sounds
of yours is just great.
670
00:33:37,896 --> 00:33:39,731
- I saw you rock, man, I
want my sick gloves back.
671
00:33:39,731 --> 00:33:40,648
- Killer lesson.
672
00:33:40,648 --> 00:33:42,108
- Totally styling.
673
00:33:46,112 --> 00:33:48,323
- Hey dude, move your gear.
674
00:33:54,704 --> 00:33:57,081
(soft music)
675
00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:00,835
- [Mona] I'm still trying to figure out
676
00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:02,128
where I know you from.
677
00:34:02,128 --> 00:34:04,047
You seem so familiar to me.
678
00:34:04,047 --> 00:34:05,548
Maybe it was a past life.
679
00:34:05,548 --> 00:34:06,382
- [Ralph] What?
680
00:34:06,382 --> 00:34:07,800
- [Mona] Relax, that was just a joke.
681
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,595
- [Ralph] Listen, do
you believe in vampires?
682
00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:13,306
- That's very funny, Ralph.
683
00:34:13,306 --> 00:34:15,683
(soft music)
684
00:34:19,812 --> 00:34:20,605
Well.
685
00:34:23,525 --> 00:34:24,817
Well this is it.
686
00:34:28,279 --> 00:34:30,740
Thank you for walking me home.
687
00:34:34,202 --> 00:34:36,955
- Would you like to see me again?
688
00:34:36,955 --> 00:34:37,747
- Yes.
689
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:39,874
Tomorrow?
690
00:34:39,874 --> 00:34:41,084
- Okay.
- Okay.
691
00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:45,296
Good night.
692
00:34:50,468 --> 00:34:52,845
(soft music)
693
00:35:02,438 --> 00:35:05,358
(slow, tense music)
694
00:35:05,358 --> 00:35:08,069
- [Ralph] Where is that
guy when you need him?
695
00:35:08,069 --> 00:35:09,445
- Hey Mr. Rockstar.
696
00:35:09,445 --> 00:35:10,572
- Where have you been?
697
00:35:10,572 --> 00:35:14,701
- Well you're not the only
one that can start a band.
698
00:35:22,375 --> 00:35:23,501
So?
699
00:35:23,501 --> 00:35:25,044
- So, what?
700
00:35:25,044 --> 00:35:26,629
- So what's she like?
701
00:35:26,629 --> 00:35:27,714
- Oh.
702
00:35:27,714 --> 00:35:29,257
She's great.
703
00:35:29,257 --> 00:35:30,800
It was really worth the wait this time.
704
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,385
- Groovy.
705
00:35:32,385 --> 00:35:33,219
So did you get any?
706
00:35:33,219 --> 00:35:34,053
- Any what?
707
00:35:34,053 --> 00:35:36,264
- You know, muff, nookie, poontang.
708
00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:38,516
- You are so crass, is that
all you ever think about?
709
00:35:38,516 --> 00:35:40,643
- Listen Ralph, I don't
have a love life of my own
710
00:35:40,643 --> 00:35:43,021
so I wanna share in yours.
711
00:35:43,021 --> 00:35:45,773
Now, start from the
beginning and be graphic.
712
00:35:45,773 --> 00:35:47,233
- Forget it.
713
00:35:47,233 --> 00:35:50,111
- You didn't score, did you?
714
00:35:50,111 --> 00:35:52,405
(grumbling)
715
00:35:56,659 --> 00:35:57,869
- Knock it off!
716
00:36:01,289 --> 00:36:02,790
She did kiss me, though.
717
00:36:02,790 --> 00:36:03,833
- Really?
718
00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:04,792
Was it?
719
00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:06,085
- Unbelievable.
720
00:36:06,085 --> 00:36:07,128
- Slip her the tongue?
721
00:36:07,128 --> 00:36:08,129
- It was on the cheek.
722
00:36:08,129 --> 00:36:09,088
- Loser!
723
00:36:09,088 --> 00:36:10,465
- You never stop.
724
00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:13,551
Bye mom, I'll see you later.
725
00:36:13,551 --> 00:36:16,387
- Well don't you look cute
and where are you going?
726
00:36:16,387 --> 00:36:17,221
- Out.
727
00:36:17,221 --> 00:36:18,056
- With who?
728
00:36:18,056 --> 00:36:18,890
- Friends.
729
00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:19,932
- And when will you back?
730
00:36:19,932 --> 00:36:20,767
- Later.
731
00:36:20,767 --> 00:36:22,060
- You met her, didn't you?
732
00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:23,061
- Duh, mom.
733
00:36:23,061 --> 00:36:25,188
- Oh, honey, I'm so happy.
734
00:36:26,439 --> 00:36:27,523
- [Ralph] You're crushing my suit.
735
00:36:27,523 --> 00:36:29,776
- Oh, we're gonna have to
have her over for dinner.
736
00:36:29,776 --> 00:36:31,527
- I'd rather not do that right now, mom.
737
00:36:31,527 --> 00:36:34,489
- Oh, you're ashamed of your mother!
738
00:36:35,448 --> 00:36:36,783
That's it, isn't it?
- No, that's not.
739
00:36:36,783 --> 00:36:37,617
That's not it.
740
00:36:37,617 --> 00:36:39,160
It's that she's gonna be in of a big shock
741
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,120
when I tell her and I
wanna break it to her easy,
742
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,163
by myself.
743
00:36:42,163 --> 00:36:44,040
I'm not ashamed of you, mom.
744
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,458
I love you.
745
00:36:45,458 --> 00:36:46,542
- Oh.
746
00:36:46,542 --> 00:36:48,211
I must look a mess.
747
00:36:48,211 --> 00:36:50,421
Oh, I'm sorry, honey,
of course you're right.
748
00:36:50,421 --> 00:36:52,715
But promise me you won't elope.
749
00:36:52,715 --> 00:36:55,134
Because I want a big wedding.
750
00:36:55,134 --> 00:36:55,968
- Of course.
751
00:36:55,968 --> 00:36:56,761
And you're not a mess.
752
00:36:56,761 --> 00:36:59,389
You look better than most
women a 10th your age.
753
00:36:59,389 --> 00:37:00,348
- I know.
754
00:37:00,348 --> 00:37:01,557
You're a dear.
755
00:37:01,557 --> 00:37:04,727
I honestly don't know what
I'd do without my boy.
756
00:37:04,727 --> 00:37:05,978
Now what are you standing there for?
757
00:37:05,978 --> 00:37:08,147
Now you go off and you have a good time.
758
00:37:08,147 --> 00:37:10,608
And you give Mona a big
kiss (kissing) from mommy.
759
00:37:10,608 --> 00:37:11,567
- Okay, bye.
760
00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:12,360
- Oh.
761
00:37:13,277 --> 00:37:15,655
(slow music)
762
00:37:22,745 --> 00:37:24,872
(hissing)
763
00:37:26,582 --> 00:37:28,626
- But what struck me
the most were his eyes.
764
00:37:28,626 --> 00:37:30,753
I mean, they almost seemed
haunted, didn't they?
765
00:37:30,753 --> 00:37:32,338
- You wanna know what happened that day?
766
00:37:32,338 --> 00:37:34,382
Egon was married to this
girl, Mary or Maddie,
767
00:37:34,382 --> 00:37:35,800
I can't believe I forgot her name.
768
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:36,676
Anyway.
769
00:37:36,676 --> 00:37:38,010
He had this girl posing for him.
770
00:37:38,010 --> 00:37:40,054
She was 16, she was
gorgeous, she was beautiful.
771
00:37:40,054 --> 00:37:41,472
They started shacking up.
772
00:37:41,472 --> 00:37:43,391
And the day that Mary found out,
773
00:37:43,391 --> 00:37:45,601
she walked in on them
and was gonna tell Egon
774
00:37:45,601 --> 00:37:47,270
that she was pregnant.
775
00:37:47,270 --> 00:37:48,438
- Well did she leave him?
776
00:37:48,438 --> 00:37:52,358
- No, god, she was like
this glutton for punishment.
777
00:37:52,358 --> 00:37:53,401
- Ralph.
778
00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:55,945
How do you know about all this?
779
00:37:55,945 --> 00:37:58,197
- I don't know, why?
780
00:37:58,197 --> 00:38:00,283
- You were talking about
it as, I don't know,
781
00:38:00,283 --> 00:38:01,784
almost as if you had
been there or something.
782
00:38:01,784 --> 00:38:03,661
- That was like over 100 years ago.
783
00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:06,956
I couldn't have been, I read
it, in art class, that's it.
784
00:38:06,956 --> 00:38:08,416
- Oh.
785
00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:09,667
You're a good story teller Ralph.
786
00:38:09,667 --> 00:38:13,045
- Yeah, I got a couple of doozies for ya.
787
00:38:14,964 --> 00:38:19,886
(upbeat music)
(woman making noises)
788
00:38:19,886 --> 00:38:21,596
- [Madam Ben Wa] I see a girl.
789
00:38:21,596 --> 00:38:24,265
Her name is, uh, Mona?
790
00:38:24,265 --> 00:38:25,808
- Yeah, right, right, my girlfriend.
791
00:38:25,808 --> 00:38:27,602
I mean my ex-girlfriend.
792
00:38:27,602 --> 00:38:28,686
- Oh.
793
00:38:28,686 --> 00:38:30,396
I see her with another man.
794
00:38:30,396 --> 00:38:31,522
- That little twerp.
795
00:38:31,522 --> 00:38:32,356
(hitting)
796
00:38:32,356 --> 00:38:33,733
- You should not call
people names, Stanley.
797
00:38:33,733 --> 00:38:35,151
- Yeah, right, sorry.
798
00:38:35,151 --> 00:38:37,612
- She thinks she loves him, but she really
799
00:38:37,612 --> 00:38:39,363
loves you, Stanley.
800
00:38:39,363 --> 00:38:40,198
- Really?
801
00:38:40,198 --> 00:38:41,032
- Yes.
802
00:38:41,032 --> 00:38:43,451
But she is under his spell.
803
00:38:43,451 --> 00:38:44,285
- Spell?
804
00:38:44,285 --> 00:38:47,789
- Spell, Stanley, for
this is no ordinary man.
805
00:38:47,789 --> 00:38:49,624
He is a vampire.
806
00:38:49,624 --> 00:38:50,458
- A vampire?
807
00:38:50,458 --> 00:38:51,292
(hitting)
808
00:38:51,292 --> 00:38:52,293
- A vampire, Stanley.
809
00:38:52,293 --> 00:38:54,337
Yours is no ordinary destiny.
810
00:38:54,337 --> 00:38:55,254
- I knew it.
811
00:38:55,254 --> 00:38:56,714
- Don't interrupt.
812
00:38:56,714 --> 00:38:59,467
It is your destiny to save Mona.
813
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:02,136
- Yes, but, how can I do it?
814
00:39:02,136 --> 00:39:04,347
- Stanley, your business is death,
815
00:39:04,347 --> 00:39:07,391
your life is death, your destiny is death.
816
00:39:07,391 --> 00:39:09,727
You must kill her, Stanley.
817
00:39:09,727 --> 00:39:10,728
- Yes?
818
00:39:10,728 --> 00:39:11,771
- Yes.
819
00:39:11,771 --> 00:39:14,106
And then she will be all yours.
820
00:39:14,106 --> 00:39:16,150
- I could mount and stuff her.
821
00:39:16,150 --> 00:39:18,903
- She will be your sleeping princess.
822
00:39:18,903 --> 00:39:19,737
- Yes.
823
00:39:19,737 --> 00:39:21,489
Yes, I see it.
824
00:39:21,489 --> 00:39:23,574
I could freeze her, cryogenically.
825
00:39:23,574 --> 00:39:24,408
- Oh.
826
00:39:24,408 --> 00:39:25,743
I suppose it would work.
827
00:39:25,743 --> 00:39:27,411
- She'll be mine.
828
00:39:27,411 --> 00:39:29,413
All mine forever.
829
00:39:29,413 --> 00:39:30,790
When do I do it?
830
00:39:30,790 --> 00:39:33,084
- It must be down on Halloween.
831
00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:33,918
- [Stanley] Right.
832
00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:35,461
- But there is one catch, though.
833
00:39:35,461 --> 00:39:37,380
You must dress as a pirate.
834
00:39:37,380 --> 00:39:38,214
- A pirate?
835
00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:39,423
- A pirate.
836
00:39:39,423 --> 00:39:41,133
With a rhinestone peg leg.
837
00:39:41,133 --> 00:39:42,718
- A rhinestone peg leg?
838
00:39:42,718 --> 00:39:43,928
(hitting)
839
00:39:43,928 --> 00:39:45,596
A rhinestone peg leg.
840
00:39:45,596 --> 00:39:48,933
- And you must dispatch
her with a ham bone.
841
00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:50,268
- Ambone?
842
00:39:50,268 --> 00:39:52,645
Okay, okay, okay, a ham bone.
843
00:39:54,272 --> 00:39:58,568
(upbeat hip hop music)
(cheering)
844
00:39:58,568 --> 00:40:01,529
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, Hans,
what's up, what's up?
845
00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:02,947
Oh not much, you know,
I've just been hangin'
846
00:40:02,947 --> 00:40:04,657
with Yolanda and Dee.
847
00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:06,492
Kick it!
848
00:40:07,660 --> 00:40:08,494
(upbeat hip hop music)
849
00:40:08,494 --> 00:40:09,954
♪ Whoa, what was that ♪
850
00:40:09,954 --> 00:40:11,747
♪ Yo that's some kick ♪
851
00:40:11,747 --> 00:40:13,708
♪ Thank you ♪
852
00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:16,544
♪ Geez what a weird guy ♪
853
00:40:16,544 --> 00:40:19,046
♪ There was this girl named
Mina she wanted my wiener ♪
854
00:40:19,046 --> 00:40:21,924
♪ She was singing back
before Ike and Tina ♪
855
00:40:21,924 --> 00:40:24,218
♪ I liked her bangs she liked my fangs ♪
856
00:40:24,218 --> 00:40:27,054
♪ So we decided to do
the crazy Rockula thing ♪
857
00:40:27,054 --> 00:40:29,473
♪ Now her father didn't like
it so he called me a pig ♪
858
00:40:29,473 --> 00:40:32,143
♪ I said Dr. Van Helsing
here's something you'll dig ♪
859
00:40:32,143 --> 00:40:35,146
♪ We can sing kumbaya
around the campfire ♪
860
00:40:35,146 --> 00:40:36,188
♪ Are you the DJ ♪
861
00:40:36,188 --> 00:40:38,149
♪ Nope, I'm the vampire ♪
862
00:40:38,149 --> 00:40:42,153
♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪
863
00:40:42,153 --> 00:40:43,779
♪ I said I'm the vampire ♪
864
00:40:43,779 --> 00:40:47,575
♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪
865
00:40:47,575 --> 00:40:49,160
♪ Kumbaya ♪
866
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:53,205
♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪
867
00:40:53,205 --> 00:40:54,498
♪ Vampire home boy ♪
868
00:40:54,498 --> 00:40:57,335
♪ Heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪
869
00:40:57,335 --> 00:40:58,586
♪ Now ♪
870
00:40:58,586 --> 00:40:59,754
♪ They're saying that a Michael rode ♪
871
00:40:59,754 --> 00:41:01,339
♪ The boat ashore too with some aid ♪
872
00:41:01,339 --> 00:41:03,716
♪ From the funky fresh Rapula crew ♪
873
00:41:03,716 --> 00:41:04,717
♪ Get to the facts ♪
874
00:41:04,717 --> 00:41:06,052
♪ I don't mean to be lax ♪
875
00:41:06,052 --> 00:41:08,930
♪ But I'd like to hear
some of the premarital sax ♪
876
00:41:08,930 --> 00:41:11,265
♪ Get away from that chick
you bloodthristy monster ♪
877
00:41:11,265 --> 00:41:13,976
♪ Oh Dr. Van Helsing I'm a p-p-p punster ♪
878
00:41:13,976 --> 00:41:16,938
♪ I'm not Frankenstein
or the wolfman either ♪
879
00:41:16,938 --> 00:41:18,105
♪ Are you the DJ ♪
880
00:41:18,105 --> 00:41:19,982
♪ I'm the vampire ♪
881
00:41:19,982 --> 00:41:24,111
♪ Heh heh heh heh heh he's Rapula ♪
882
00:41:24,111 --> 00:41:26,614
♪ I said I'm the vampire ♪
883
00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:27,740
♪ He's Rapula ♪
884
00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:28,574
♪ You're a vampire ♪
885
00:41:28,574 --> 00:41:31,619
♪ You mean like with
teeth and everything ♪
886
00:41:31,619 --> 00:41:33,079
♪ He's Rapula ♪
887
00:41:33,079 --> 00:41:35,665
♪ Yo, yo, check this out, check
this out, check this out ♪
888
00:41:35,665 --> 00:41:38,960
♪ Oh yeah I'm checking it out ♪
889
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,211
♪ I'm waiting ♪
890
00:41:40,211 --> 00:41:42,546
♪ Hunky dory now the
story comes to a close ♪
891
00:41:42,546 --> 00:41:43,798
♪ It ain't scary but it's smelly ♪
892
00:41:43,798 --> 00:41:45,466
♪ Like the jam in your toes ♪
893
00:41:45,466 --> 00:41:48,010
♪ Gina, I mean Mina, moved into my crib ♪
894
00:41:48,010 --> 00:41:50,596
♪ Gee, Mr. Rapula, you're awfully glib ♪
895
00:41:50,596 --> 00:41:53,099
♪ She made me a dish
called Huevos de Rapula ♪
896
00:41:53,099 --> 00:41:55,726
♪ Made with garlic and eggs
and a gold plated spatula ♪
897
00:41:55,726 --> 00:41:58,521
♪ You can read the commentary
by William Sapphire ♪
898
00:41:58,521 --> 00:42:01,732
♪ He's the DJ, I'm the vampire ♪
899
00:42:01,732 --> 00:42:03,150
♪ He's Rapula ♪
900
00:42:03,150 --> 00:42:05,069
♪ I'm the vampire ♪
901
00:42:05,069 --> 00:42:06,404
♪ Vampire ♪
902
00:42:06,404 --> 00:42:08,280
♪ You're the vampire ♪
903
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,657
♪ You're a vampire ♪
904
00:42:09,657 --> 00:42:11,492
♪ Oh what you're a vampire ♪
905
00:42:11,492 --> 00:42:13,661
♪ Are you dissin' me ♪
906
00:42:13,661 --> 00:42:15,705
♪ Forget I'm the vampire ♪
907
00:42:15,705 --> 00:42:17,581
♪ Just forget it ♪
908
00:42:17,581 --> 00:42:22,336
♪ So if you're not Rapula
man, who's the DJ ♪
909
00:42:22,336 --> 00:42:26,465
(applause)
(cheering)
910
00:42:32,638 --> 00:42:35,933
(people chattering)
(rock music)
911
00:42:35,933 --> 00:42:37,309
- You were great.
912
00:42:38,269 --> 00:42:39,520
- Ralphie?
913
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,230
Oh, there's my boy.
914
00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:42,314
- Mom, what are you doing here?
915
00:42:42,314 --> 00:42:44,483
- Oh, Ralph, I am so proud of you.
916
00:42:44,483 --> 00:42:46,277
Your little band was fantastic.
917
00:42:46,277 --> 00:42:47,361
- Mom.
918
00:42:47,361 --> 00:42:48,696
- And you must be Mona.
919
00:42:48,696 --> 00:42:49,530
Oh.
920
00:42:49,530 --> 00:42:51,449
Look how pretty you are this time.
921
00:42:51,449 --> 00:42:52,408
- Yes, yes, she is.
922
00:42:52,408 --> 00:42:53,784
Uh, Mona, this is my mother.
923
00:42:53,784 --> 00:42:54,618
- Hi.
924
00:42:54,618 --> 00:42:55,911
It is so nice to meet you.
925
00:42:55,911 --> 00:42:56,871
- Meet me?
926
00:42:56,871 --> 00:42:58,831
No, no, dear, the pleasure's all mine.
927
00:42:58,831 --> 00:43:00,207
Oh, just me look at you.
928
00:43:00,207 --> 00:43:02,752
Oh, it's so nice to see the
two of you together again.
929
00:43:02,752 --> 00:43:03,669
- Excuse me?
930
00:43:03,669 --> 00:43:04,795
- Uh yeah, well we have to be going.
931
00:43:04,795 --> 00:43:05,629
- Oh well I won't keep you,
932
00:43:05,629 --> 00:43:07,173
but we must have Mona over for dinner.
933
00:43:07,173 --> 00:43:08,007
- Mom.
934
00:43:08,007 --> 00:43:09,008
- I would love to.
935
00:43:09,008 --> 00:43:09,842
- Mona.
936
00:43:09,842 --> 00:43:10,676
- Thursday night?
937
00:43:10,676 --> 00:43:12,845
- Can't Thursday night,
Mona's video is premiering.
938
00:43:12,845 --> 00:43:14,472
- Well we could go after.
939
00:43:14,472 --> 00:43:15,306
- After?
940
00:43:15,306 --> 00:43:16,390
- Thursday night it is then.
941
00:43:16,390 --> 00:43:17,475
- I can't believe this.
942
00:43:17,475 --> 00:43:18,309
- Well I have to run now.
943
00:43:18,309 --> 00:43:20,269
I have a meeting with my ladies' social.
944
00:43:20,269 --> 00:43:21,896
It's pistol range night
and I'm really getting
945
00:43:21,896 --> 00:43:23,647
much better at this.
946
00:43:23,647 --> 00:43:26,317
Practice, practice, practice.
947
00:43:26,317 --> 00:43:28,652
(screaming)
948
00:43:28,652 --> 00:43:31,697
- Doesn't anybody go bowling anymore?
949
00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:47,088
(soft romantic Spanish music playing)
950
00:44:05,231 --> 00:44:06,023
Oh!
951
00:44:07,108 --> 00:44:09,318
It's raining cats and dogs!
952
00:44:10,194 --> 00:44:14,323
I just stepped in a poodle!
(laughing)
953
00:44:18,494 --> 00:44:22,623
(soft romantic Spanish music playing)
954
00:44:28,712 --> 00:44:31,257
(rain falling)
955
00:44:32,758 --> 00:44:35,803
- I feel like I've known you forever.
956
00:44:37,304 --> 00:44:41,433
(rain falling)
(thunder breaking)
957
00:44:59,577 --> 00:45:01,954
I think the rain is stopping.
958
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,083
(rain falling)
959
00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:08,961
(synth rock music)
960
00:45:16,635 --> 00:45:19,555
♪ In the dark, in deepest shadows ♪
961
00:45:19,555 --> 00:45:22,558
♪ Well hid from the light of day ♪
962
00:45:22,558 --> 00:45:25,311
♪ I wait for the perfect moment ♪
963
00:45:25,311 --> 00:45:28,689
♪ Show me the way ♪
964
00:45:28,689 --> 00:45:32,109
♪ Like the flame of a candle burning ♪
965
00:45:32,109 --> 00:45:35,070
♪ Like a deer when it hits the floor ♪
966
00:45:35,070 --> 00:45:37,573
♪ Like the passion locked inside me ♪
967
00:45:37,573 --> 00:45:40,117
♪ Open the door ♪
968
00:45:40,117 --> 00:45:43,704
♪ I said open the door ♪
969
00:45:43,704 --> 00:45:48,667
♪ It was always this way from the start ♪
970
00:45:49,501 --> 00:45:54,089
♪ Now I'm asking to surrender your heart ♪
971
00:45:54,089 --> 00:45:56,508
(yelling)
972
00:45:56,508 --> 00:45:59,595
♪ You made me wait forever ♪
973
00:45:59,595 --> 00:46:02,598
♪ My hope had almost died ♪
974
00:46:02,598 --> 00:46:05,643
♪ You stopped the world from turning ♪
975
00:46:05,643 --> 00:46:08,771
♪ When you were by my side ♪
976
00:46:08,771 --> 00:46:11,732
♪ With the wars I've waged behind me ♪
977
00:46:11,732 --> 00:46:14,985
♪ With your lovin' to remind ♪
978
00:46:14,985 --> 00:46:17,571
♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪
979
00:46:17,571 --> 00:46:21,200
♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪
980
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:25,204
(yelling)
♪ You by my side ♪
981
00:46:25,204 --> 00:46:30,125
♪ You by my side ♪
982
00:46:30,334 --> 00:46:33,420
♪ In the night you're
the star that guides me ♪
983
00:46:33,420 --> 00:46:36,423
♪ And it seems like a thousand years ♪
984
00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:39,176
♪ Since I first felt these emotions ♪
985
00:46:39,176 --> 00:46:42,763
♪ First felt these tears ♪
986
00:46:42,763 --> 00:46:45,724
♪ If you call I'll be the answer ♪
987
00:46:45,724 --> 00:46:48,769
♪ If you need, I'll be desire ♪
988
00:46:48,769 --> 00:46:51,480
♪ If you're cold I'll
be there to warm you ♪
989
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,692
♪ I'll be your heat ♪
990
00:46:54,692 --> 00:46:57,987
♪ I'll be the fire ♪
991
00:46:57,987 --> 00:47:02,950
♪ It's always this way from the start ♪
992
00:47:03,492 --> 00:47:08,455
♪ Now I'm asking you to
surrender your heart ♪
993
00:47:10,416 --> 00:47:13,627
♪ You made me wait forever ♪
994
00:47:13,627 --> 00:47:16,505
♪ My hope had almost died ♪
995
00:47:16,505 --> 00:47:19,675
♪ You stopped the world turning ♪
996
00:47:19,675 --> 00:47:22,761
♪ When you were by side ♪
997
00:47:22,761 --> 00:47:25,764
♪ With the wars I've waged behind me ♪
998
00:47:25,764 --> 00:47:28,934
♪ With your lovin' to remind me ♪
999
00:47:28,934 --> 00:47:31,770
♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪
1000
00:47:31,770 --> 00:47:36,233
♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪
1001
00:47:36,233 --> 00:47:39,194
♪ You by my side ♪
1002
00:47:39,194 --> 00:47:44,158
♪ You by my side ♪
1003
00:47:45,701 --> 00:47:50,664
♪ Lost a love that will last forever ♪
1004
00:47:51,457 --> 00:47:54,793
♪ From the ends of the Earth ♪
1005
00:47:54,793 --> 00:47:58,088
♪ And right into heaven ♪
1006
00:47:59,340 --> 00:48:01,717
(rock music)
1007
00:48:15,105 --> 00:48:18,442
♪ And if that's a dream
then don't wake me ♪
1008
00:48:18,442 --> 00:48:23,405
♪ If it's love then take me ♪
1009
00:48:27,910 --> 00:48:30,162
♪ Nothing can stop us now ♪
1010
00:48:30,162 --> 00:48:33,665
♪ Destiny found you somehow ♪
1011
00:48:33,665 --> 00:48:36,293
♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪
1012
00:48:36,293 --> 00:48:40,881
♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪
1013
00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:43,926
♪ You by my side ♪
1014
00:48:43,926 --> 00:48:45,969
♪ You by my side ♪
1015
00:48:45,969 --> 00:48:48,639
♪ When hearts on fire collide ♪
1016
00:48:48,639 --> 00:48:53,352
♪ I can't lose with you by my side ♪
1017
00:48:53,352 --> 00:48:56,313
♪ You by my side ♪
1018
00:48:56,313 --> 00:48:59,316
♪ You by my side ♪
1019
00:48:59,316 --> 00:49:02,486
♪ You by my side ♪
1020
00:49:02,486 --> 00:49:05,489
♪ You by my side ♪
1021
00:49:05,489 --> 00:49:08,534
♪ You by my side ♪
1022
00:49:08,534 --> 00:49:11,703
♪ You by my side ♪
1023
00:49:11,703 --> 00:49:12,996
♪ You by my side ♪
1024
00:49:12,996 --> 00:49:14,456
Wow.
1025
00:49:14,456 --> 00:49:15,582
What was that?
1026
00:49:17,042 --> 00:49:21,171
(rain falling)
(rock music)
1027
00:49:24,716 --> 00:49:28,679
- I don't know, but it
was definitely beautiful.
1028
00:49:30,180 --> 00:49:33,183
♪ You by my side ♪
1029
00:49:33,183 --> 00:49:36,353
♪ You by my side ♪
1030
00:49:36,353 --> 00:49:39,481
♪ You by my side ♪
1031
00:49:39,481 --> 00:49:42,526
♪ You by my side ♪
1032
00:49:42,526 --> 00:49:45,696
♪ You by my side ♪
1033
00:49:45,696 --> 00:49:48,615
♪ You by my side ♪
1034
00:49:48,615 --> 00:49:51,326
♪ You by my side ♪
1035
00:49:56,498 --> 00:49:59,209
(rock music)
1036
00:49:59,209 --> 00:50:00,377
(clapping)
1037
00:50:00,377 --> 00:50:01,587
- [TV Announcer] That
was Mona and the premiere
1038
00:50:01,587 --> 00:50:04,590
of By My Side here on Slack TV.
1039
00:50:04,590 --> 00:50:05,883
Coming up...
- You were wonderful.
1040
00:50:05,883 --> 00:50:06,842
- Thank you honey.
1041
00:50:06,842 --> 00:50:08,051
- Both of you.
1042
00:50:08,051 --> 00:50:09,678
- Well the kids were Mona's idea.
1043
00:50:09,678 --> 00:50:12,014
- Don't be so modest, Ralph.
1044
00:50:12,014 --> 00:50:14,516
- Listen, Mona, about dinner
with my mother tonight.
1045
00:50:14,516 --> 00:50:15,976
I don't think it's a very good idea.
1046
00:50:15,976 --> 00:50:16,810
- Why not?
1047
00:50:16,810 --> 00:50:17,644
- In fact, I think it's time
I start my own record label,
1048
00:50:17,644 --> 00:50:20,564
you know, Morgue Music
or maybe Death Records.
1049
00:50:20,564 --> 00:50:24,610
Or just RIP, it's sort of
catchy, don't you think?
1050
00:50:24,610 --> 00:50:26,403
Mona, just terrific.
1051
00:50:26,403 --> 00:50:28,530
Congratulations, the both of you.
1052
00:50:28,530 --> 00:50:29,364
- Thank you.
1053
00:50:29,364 --> 00:50:32,784
Um, Stanley, why are you
wearing garlic around your neck?
1054
00:50:32,784 --> 00:50:33,619
- Oh.
1055
00:50:33,619 --> 00:50:37,206
This is in honor of Ralph
here, I should I say Rockula?
1056
00:50:37,206 --> 00:50:39,958
It's pretty pungent,
wouldn't you say, Ralphie?
1057
00:50:39,958 --> 00:50:41,793
- Smells great, I love garlic.
1058
00:50:41,793 --> 00:50:44,338
- Yes, you might say
I have a stake in what
1059
00:50:44,338 --> 00:50:45,172
happens to you.
1060
00:50:45,172 --> 00:50:46,965
I mean, I think Rockula's gonna take off
1061
00:50:46,965 --> 00:50:48,717
like a bat out of hell.
1062
00:50:48,717 --> 00:50:50,469
The world is full of bloodsuckers
1063
00:50:50,469 --> 00:50:53,263
and I would hate for
anything to happen to you.
1064
00:50:53,263 --> 00:50:57,017
Have you ever seen one of these before?
1065
00:50:57,017 --> 00:50:57,809
- Yes.
1066
00:51:01,146 --> 00:51:03,148
18th Century, right?
1067
00:51:03,148 --> 00:51:04,525
- 19th, actually.
1068
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,402
- Excuse me, I'm gonna use your bathroom.
1069
00:51:07,402 --> 00:51:08,362
- Okay sure.
1070
00:51:10,656 --> 00:51:15,577
- There's things about this
guy that you don't understand.
1071
00:51:15,577 --> 00:51:19,790
- Stanley, I think that you
are under a lot of stress.
1072
00:51:19,790 --> 00:51:21,708
- He knows, the jig's up.
1073
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:22,543
- Who knows?
1074
00:51:22,543 --> 00:51:23,377
What jig?
1075
00:51:23,377 --> 00:51:25,295
- [Ralph] Stanley, somehow
he knows that I'm a...
1076
00:51:25,295 --> 00:51:26,463
- You're a vampire?
1077
00:51:26,463 --> 00:51:27,297
- Yes.
1078
00:51:27,297 --> 00:51:28,131
- So why don't you get rid of him
1079
00:51:28,131 --> 00:51:29,299
in the time honored tradition?
1080
00:51:29,299 --> 00:51:30,175
- What the hell is that?
1081
00:51:30,175 --> 00:51:31,134
- Bite him, man.
1082
00:51:31,134 --> 00:51:33,971
Bite him, and watch him die
a slow, agonizing death.
1083
00:51:33,971 --> 00:51:35,639
Come on, it's the way
vampires always get rid
1084
00:51:35,639 --> 00:51:37,849
of those Van Helsing types.
1085
00:51:37,849 --> 00:51:38,684
- That's in the movies.
1086
00:51:38,684 --> 00:51:40,727
Besides, you remember
vampires always lose.
1087
00:51:40,727 --> 00:51:42,813
- Yeah, but they always look
so cool stalking the halls.
1088
00:51:42,813 --> 00:51:44,189
I just love that.
1089
00:51:45,816 --> 00:51:48,068
- If Stanley knows, what's
stopping him from telling Mona?
1090
00:51:48,068 --> 00:51:50,070
- So he tells her, you tell
her, what's the difference?
1091
00:51:50,070 --> 00:51:50,904
What's the matter?
1092
00:51:50,904 --> 00:51:51,738
Ashamed of who you are?
1093
00:51:51,738 --> 00:51:52,573
- Yes.
1094
00:51:52,573 --> 00:51:54,992
No, no, I mean, I don't
know, it's not that easy.
1095
00:51:54,992 --> 00:51:56,285
- [Mona] Ralph?
1096
00:51:56,285 --> 00:51:58,036
- Pressure's on, pressure's
on, what you gonna do?
1097
00:51:58,036 --> 00:51:59,413
Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke.
1098
00:51:59,413 --> 00:52:01,290
- Shut up and let me think.
1099
00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:02,499
- [Mona] Ralph?
1100
00:52:03,792 --> 00:52:04,960
- I'm gonna tell her.
1101
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,753
- Everything? Even the you-know-what?
1102
00:52:06,753 --> 00:52:07,963
- Everything.
1103
00:52:07,963 --> 00:52:09,923
- Bad idea, man, bad idea.
1104
00:52:09,923 --> 00:52:10,716
- Shh.
1105
00:52:13,802 --> 00:52:15,637
- Uh, Ralph.
1106
00:52:15,637 --> 00:52:17,014
Who are you talking to?
1107
00:52:17,014 --> 00:52:18,765
- Uh no one, myself.
1108
00:52:18,765 --> 00:52:20,601
Well, sort of, I'll explain later.
1109
00:52:20,601 --> 00:52:23,562
Mona, we're having dinner at my mother's.
1110
00:52:23,562 --> 00:52:25,606
- That's what I like about you Ralph.
1111
00:52:25,606 --> 00:52:29,484
You're so decisive.
(laughing)
1112
00:52:31,403 --> 00:52:32,362
- Attention.
1113
00:52:33,530 --> 00:52:36,908
Could I have your attention please?
1114
00:52:36,908 --> 00:52:37,701
Oy!
1115
00:52:38,910 --> 00:52:41,788
I have a little premiere of my own.
1116
00:52:46,501 --> 00:52:49,087
Mmm, that mantra felt good.
1117
00:52:49,087 --> 00:52:53,091
Hi, I'm Stanley, your
guide into the other world.
1118
00:52:54,009 --> 00:52:57,471
Here at Stanley's Deathpark,
we believe in a holistic,
1119
00:52:57,471 --> 00:53:00,599
stress-free approach to
the passing on process.
1120
00:53:00,599 --> 00:53:05,354
Just take a look at our new
line in designer headstones.
1121
00:53:05,354 --> 00:53:08,398
Secretary forget to remind
you to bring flowers?
1122
00:53:08,398 --> 00:53:12,110
The XK2000 is perfect for
those with a busy lifestyle.
1123
00:53:12,110 --> 00:53:16,198
Just 50 cents brings an all
natural, floral surprise.
1124
00:53:20,952 --> 00:53:23,538
Mmm, just smell those chlamydias.
1125
00:53:23,538 --> 00:53:26,416
And we'll quite happily donate
10 cents of the proceeds
1126
00:53:26,416 --> 00:53:28,877
to the charity of your choice.
1127
00:53:30,337 --> 00:53:32,547
Miss that nagging loved one?
1128
00:53:32,547 --> 00:53:34,716
No longer with the Recorder 6000,
1129
00:53:34,716 --> 00:53:38,095
you just close your eyes and listen.
1130
00:53:38,095 --> 00:53:40,180
- [Woman] Harold, have
you been drinking again?
1131
00:53:40,180 --> 00:53:42,599
Was it you who left the toilet seat up?
1132
00:53:42,599 --> 00:53:44,351
My mother was right.
1133
00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:47,562
- Better than a wool hair
coat and a crown of thorns.
1134
00:53:47,562 --> 00:53:48,772
Realistic?
1135
00:53:48,772 --> 00:53:50,899
Don't take my word for it.
1136
00:53:52,359 --> 00:53:55,779
- It's been three years since
my lovely Clorice left me.
1137
00:53:55,779 --> 00:53:58,949
But with Recorder 6000, I have yet to miss
1138
00:53:58,949 --> 00:54:00,826
her deprecating banter.
1139
00:54:02,869 --> 00:54:04,579
- Thank you Elmo, that was lovely.
1140
00:54:04,579 --> 00:54:06,707
Now, here's something new.
1141
00:54:08,959 --> 00:54:12,170
Relatives disapprove of your lifestyle?
1142
00:54:12,170 --> 00:54:15,507
Invest in the Rotary 600, the
device that keeps those loved
1143
00:54:15,507 --> 00:54:18,176
ones turning over in their grave.
1144
00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:21,596
(thumping)
1145
00:54:24,433 --> 00:54:25,976
Isn't that amazing?
1146
00:54:27,519 --> 00:54:30,272
And over here we have the very latest in
1147
00:54:30,272 --> 00:54:32,232
cryogenic technology.
1148
00:54:32,232 --> 00:54:35,485
It may well be the answer
to everlasting life,
1149
00:54:35,485 --> 00:54:38,155
and, while you're waiting to be reborn,
1150
00:54:38,155 --> 00:54:40,115
why not listen to your
choice of subliminal
1151
00:54:40,115 --> 00:54:41,616
self help tapes.
1152
00:54:41,616 --> 00:54:43,034
We have an incredible selection.
1153
00:54:43,034 --> 00:54:46,413
Everything from meditation
to the fundamentals of golf.
1154
00:54:46,413 --> 00:54:48,415
Learn a foreign language
while you're waiting
1155
00:54:48,415 --> 00:54:50,917
to be awoken from your everlasting sleep.
1156
00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:52,252
Did you die a smoker?
1157
00:54:52,252 --> 00:54:54,379
Quit while you're dead.
1158
00:54:54,379 --> 00:54:56,798
Improve your karma, knock
off several lifetimes
1159
00:54:56,798 --> 00:54:58,925
and awake a better person.
1160
00:55:00,218 --> 00:55:00,969
- Get out.
1161
00:55:01,178 --> 00:55:02,929
- That was the best bit.
1162
00:55:02,929 --> 00:55:06,516
- Stanley, I have been working
my entire life for tonight,
1163
00:55:06,516 --> 00:55:08,018
and you come and make a joke out of it?
1164
00:55:08,018 --> 00:55:08,810
- Mona.
1165
00:55:12,189 --> 00:55:13,190
You.
1166
00:55:13,190 --> 00:55:15,484
You did it to me, you fiend.
1167
00:55:30,248 --> 00:55:31,374
- You alright?
1168
00:55:31,374 --> 00:55:32,959
- Yes I'm fine, really.
1169
00:55:32,959 --> 00:55:35,170
- Stanley is in love with you.
1170
00:55:35,170 --> 00:55:36,671
- I know.
1171
00:55:36,671 --> 00:55:39,299
(slow music)
1172
00:55:39,299 --> 00:55:41,176
It wasn't just Stanley.
1173
00:55:42,093 --> 00:55:46,431
Ralph, I was watching the
video and suddenly I thought,
1174
00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:50,852
"Is this what I have been
working for my entire life?
1175
00:55:50,852 --> 00:55:53,355
"Three minutes, that's it?
1176
00:55:53,355 --> 00:55:55,065
"Just three minutes?"
1177
00:55:56,274 --> 00:55:58,735
It just seemed so unimportant.
1178
00:56:01,154 --> 00:56:02,155
So temporary.
1179
00:56:03,365 --> 00:56:04,157
Ralph.
1180
00:56:05,325 --> 00:56:06,159
You--
1181
00:56:06,159 --> 00:56:08,370
- Before you say what I
think you're gonna say,
1182
00:56:08,370 --> 00:56:10,622
there's something you've gotta know.
1183
00:56:10,622 --> 00:56:11,498
- Hi kids.
1184
00:56:11,498 --> 00:56:12,707
- Mom, we were talking.
1185
00:56:12,707 --> 00:56:13,625
- The legacy?
1186
00:56:13,625 --> 00:56:14,751
- Mom.
1187
00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:16,503
- The legacy?
1188
00:56:16,503 --> 00:56:19,297
(strange music)
1189
00:56:19,297 --> 00:56:23,343
- It's nothing, it's,
nevermind, it's not important.
1190
00:56:23,343 --> 00:56:25,554
What's for dinner?
1191
00:56:25,554 --> 00:56:26,638
- [Phoebe] Hello dear.
1192
00:56:26,638 --> 00:56:28,932
- [Mona] Mrs. Levee, this is
a beautiful home you have.
1193
00:56:28,932 --> 00:56:31,977
- Oh thank you dear, but
please call me Phoebe.
1194
00:56:31,977 --> 00:56:33,687
Of course, this is nothing like the
1195
00:56:33,687 --> 00:56:35,438
palatial chateau that we had when we were
1196
00:56:35,438 --> 00:56:37,357
in the south of France, is it Ralph?
1197
00:56:37,357 --> 00:56:38,775
- I didn't know you lived in France?
1198
00:56:38,775 --> 00:56:39,609
- You didn't?
1199
00:56:39,609 --> 00:56:40,443
Of course you did.
1200
00:56:40,443 --> 00:56:41,278
When was that Ralphie?
1201
00:56:41,278 --> 00:56:43,029
The 16th or the 17th century?
1202
00:56:43,029 --> 00:56:44,197
I don't remember.
1203
00:56:44,197 --> 00:56:47,117
Oh, my pet Napoleon, mm,
could he throw a party.
1204
00:56:47,117 --> 00:56:48,618
I was his favorite, you know.
1205
00:56:48,618 --> 00:56:49,452
- Mom.
1206
00:56:49,452 --> 00:56:52,581
- And Mona, your father, the king, was he,
1207
00:56:52,581 --> 00:56:55,333
the most handsome man and you
were the cutest little thing.
1208
00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:56,167
- Mom!
1209
00:56:56,167 --> 00:56:57,002
What's for dinner?
1210
00:56:57,002 --> 00:56:58,086
- Meat and potatoes.
1211
00:56:58,086 --> 00:56:59,254
Who's askin'?
1212
00:56:59,254 --> 00:57:00,547
- Oh, Boom Boom.
1213
00:57:01,506 --> 00:57:02,299
Boom, oh!
1214
00:57:05,176 --> 00:57:06,553
Ooo, my son.
1215
00:57:06,553 --> 00:57:10,640
Ralphie, this is my son
Ralphie and his fiancee Mona.
1216
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:11,975
Oh.
1217
00:57:11,975 --> 00:57:13,268
- His fiancee?
1218
00:57:13,268 --> 00:57:15,353
- The Boom Boom Williams?
1219
00:57:15,353 --> 00:57:16,980
The Terror of Tennessee?
1220
00:57:16,980 --> 00:57:18,857
- You got it, little fella.
1221
00:57:18,857 --> 00:57:20,275
And if you eat all your
vegetables, you'll grow up
1222
00:57:20,275 --> 00:57:23,069
to be big and strong just like me.
1223
00:57:24,946 --> 00:57:27,282
- I think we're a little late for that.
1224
00:57:27,282 --> 00:57:29,117
I don't know, about 300 years too late.
1225
00:57:29,117 --> 00:57:30,201
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
1226
00:57:30,201 --> 00:57:31,745
- Dinner is served.
1227
00:57:34,122 --> 00:57:36,666
And as for the father of our country,
1228
00:57:36,666 --> 00:57:39,002
well let me tell you,
he may have been hell
1229
00:57:39,002 --> 00:57:41,671
on the battlefield, but
in bed he was as wooden
1230
00:57:41,671 --> 00:57:44,883
as his teeth.
(laughing)
1231
00:57:44,883 --> 00:57:47,552
Those were tough and
lonely times for a woman.
1232
00:57:47,552 --> 00:57:49,596
Every day I get down on my hands and knees
1233
00:57:49,596 --> 00:57:53,058
and I thank my lucky
stars that I had my boy.
1234
00:57:53,058 --> 00:57:53,934
My Ralphie.
1235
00:57:54,851 --> 00:57:56,102
Ralphie.
1236
00:57:56,102 --> 00:57:58,104
- Baby, where would you
like your coffee served?
1237
00:57:58,104 --> 00:58:00,690
In here, or in the living room?
1238
00:58:00,690 --> 00:58:02,484
- In the living room, don't you think?
1239
00:58:02,484 --> 00:58:05,278
- Oh, whatever you say love cakes.
1240
00:58:06,863 --> 00:58:09,574
(fire crackling)
1241
00:58:17,874 --> 00:58:21,419
Introducing the fabulous,
the incomparable,
1242
00:58:22,629 --> 00:58:24,339
and the sexy,
1243
00:58:24,339 --> 00:58:25,715
Miss
1244
00:58:25,715 --> 00:58:26,508
Phoebe.
1245
00:58:27,801 --> 00:58:30,679
(slow synth music)
1246
00:58:46,945 --> 00:58:50,323
(upbeat pop synth music)
1247
00:58:54,411 --> 00:58:56,538
(hissing)
1248
00:59:02,752 --> 00:59:07,132
♪ Well you can say that the night ♪
1249
00:59:07,132 --> 00:59:11,636
♪ Belongs to no one ♪
1250
00:59:11,636 --> 00:59:14,055
♪ And you can pray ♪
1251
00:59:14,055 --> 00:59:19,019
♪ That the night will soon be over ♪
1252
00:59:21,896 --> 00:59:26,317
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1253
00:59:26,317 --> 00:59:31,239
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1254
00:59:31,239 --> 00:59:35,618
♪ As the shadows fall ♪
1255
00:59:35,618 --> 00:59:39,289
♪ And the daylight slips away ♪
1256
00:59:39,289 --> 00:59:40,957
♪ To the night ♪
1257
00:59:40,957 --> 00:59:43,084
♪ Like it lasts forever ♪
1258
00:59:43,084 --> 00:59:45,336
♪ A night that is your friend ♪
1259
00:59:45,336 --> 00:59:47,964
♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪
1260
00:59:47,964 --> 00:59:49,799
♪ And in the night ♪
1261
00:59:49,799 --> 00:59:52,093
♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪
1262
00:59:52,093 --> 00:59:54,387
♪ Calling out your name ♪
1263
00:59:54,387 --> 00:59:59,350
♪ That you will never ever be the same ♪
1264
01:00:00,351 --> 01:00:03,980
♪ The night, the night will last forever ♪
1265
01:00:03,980 --> 01:00:06,149
♪ The night, hey hey ♪
1266
01:00:06,149 --> 01:00:08,526
♪ Well you can say ♪
1267
01:00:08,526 --> 01:00:13,490
♪ That the night is full of danger ♪
1268
01:00:15,283 --> 01:00:17,494
♪ But you know ♪
1269
01:00:17,494 --> 01:00:22,457
♪ To the night, you're not a stranger ♪
1270
01:00:23,124 --> 01:00:25,210
♪ You know what I mean ♪
1271
01:00:25,210 --> 01:00:29,756
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1272
01:00:29,756 --> 01:00:34,636
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1273
01:00:34,636 --> 01:00:39,224
♪ As the shadow falls ♪
1274
01:00:39,224 --> 01:00:44,187
♪ And the daylight slips
away to the night ♪
1275
01:00:44,354 --> 01:00:46,648
♪ The night that lasts forever ♪
1276
01:00:46,648 --> 01:00:48,691
♪ The night that is your friend ♪
1277
01:00:48,691 --> 01:00:51,402
♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪
1278
01:00:51,402 --> 01:00:53,238
♪ And in the night ♪
1279
01:00:53,238 --> 01:00:55,532
♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪
1280
01:00:55,532 --> 01:00:57,867
♪ Calling our your name ♪
1281
01:00:57,867 --> 01:01:01,704
♪ You will never, ever be the same ♪
1282
01:01:01,704 --> 01:01:06,042
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1283
01:01:06,042 --> 01:01:10,296
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1284
01:01:10,296 --> 01:01:12,382
♪ Yo girly girl, I'm back again ♪
1285
01:01:12,382 --> 01:01:14,801
♪ And all I wanna do is
jam with my friends ♪
1286
01:01:14,801 --> 01:01:16,761
♪ And jammin' is what I'll do ♪
1287
01:01:16,761 --> 01:01:19,639
♪ And I'll jam the house
and jam it down on you ♪
1288
01:01:19,639 --> 01:01:23,768
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop-- ♪
(record scratching)
1289
01:01:27,147 --> 01:01:32,026
♪ Doo wop bop bop, doo wop bop bop ♪
1290
01:01:32,026 --> 01:01:36,322
♪ As the shadows fall ♪
1291
01:01:36,322 --> 01:01:41,286
♪ And the daylight slips
away to the night ♪
1292
01:01:41,494 --> 01:01:43,788
♪ The night that lasts forever ♪
1293
01:01:43,788 --> 01:01:46,040
♪ The night that is your friend ♪
1294
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:48,668
♪ A friend of pain and pleasure ♪
1295
01:01:48,668 --> 01:01:50,503
♪ And in the night ♪
1296
01:01:50,503 --> 01:01:52,839
♪ The night, you hear it calling ♪
1297
01:01:52,839 --> 01:01:55,133
♪ Calling out your name ♪
1298
01:01:55,133 --> 01:01:59,220
♪ That you will never, ever be the same ♪
1299
01:02:00,972 --> 01:02:03,183
- My mom's kind of strange.
1300
01:02:04,475 --> 01:02:06,269
If you hadn't noticed.
1301
01:02:07,395 --> 01:02:11,024
- This whole night has
been kind of strange.
1302
01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:15,320
- Mona, pull over.
1303
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,413
(wolf howling)
1304
01:02:25,413 --> 01:02:26,206
Oh great.
1305
01:02:29,459 --> 01:02:30,501
Mona?
1306
01:02:30,501 --> 01:02:32,545
Would you give up everything for me?
1307
01:02:32,545 --> 01:02:35,381
Your career, your friends, everything?
1308
01:02:35,381 --> 01:02:39,052
- Ralph, don't you think
that's a little bit radical?
1309
01:02:39,052 --> 01:02:40,970
I mean, maybe we should
date for a while first,
1310
01:02:40,970 --> 01:02:41,846
don't you think?
1311
01:02:41,846 --> 01:02:45,433
- I've given you a choice
and it has to be your choice.
1312
01:02:45,433 --> 01:02:47,769
- What are you talking about?
1313
01:02:47,769 --> 01:02:49,979
Ralph, where are you going?
1314
01:02:51,439 --> 01:02:52,607
Ralph, where are you going?
1315
01:02:52,607 --> 01:02:54,943
- [Ralph] Just follow me.
1316
01:02:54,943 --> 01:02:57,654
- Ralph, what is with you?
1317
01:02:57,654 --> 01:02:59,447
- Okay, you see these people?
1318
01:02:59,447 --> 01:03:01,658
They're dead, I'm not.
1319
01:03:01,658 --> 01:03:03,076
- I can see that, Ralph.
1320
01:03:03,076 --> 01:03:04,953
- But, I'm older.
1321
01:03:04,953 --> 01:03:05,787
- What?
1322
01:03:05,787 --> 01:03:07,664
- Mona, I'm a vampire.
1323
01:03:07,664 --> 01:03:09,123
- And I'm the Bride of Frankenstein.
1324
01:03:09,123 --> 01:03:10,708
- No seriously, Mona, it's the truth.
1325
01:03:10,708 --> 01:03:12,210
I'm not a bad vampire.
1326
01:03:12,210 --> 01:03:15,338
I am a bad vampire, I'm
not very good at it.
1327
01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:17,966
I don't bite people but I am a vampire.
1328
01:03:17,966 --> 01:03:20,510
- Ralph, this is a very common thing.
1329
01:03:20,510 --> 01:03:21,344
- It is?
1330
01:03:21,344 --> 01:03:22,220
- Yes, sure it is.
1331
01:03:22,220 --> 01:03:25,014
People begin to believe their
stage personas all the time.
1332
01:03:25,014 --> 01:03:27,392
- No, no, no, no, I don't
think I'm a vampire,
1333
01:03:27,392 --> 01:03:29,936
I really am a vampire.
1334
01:03:29,936 --> 01:03:31,187
- Prove it.
1335
01:03:31,187 --> 01:03:32,021
- Look.
1336
01:03:32,021 --> 01:03:33,189
Fangs, see?
1337
01:03:33,189 --> 01:03:35,358
- Well it's probably
something that just runs
1338
01:03:35,358 --> 01:03:37,110
in the family, Ralph.
1339
01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:39,779
Besides, I knew a girl
in the eighth grade,
1340
01:03:39,779 --> 01:03:41,155
she had bigger teeth than that.
1341
01:03:41,155 --> 01:03:43,658
She wasn't a vampire, Ralph.
1342
01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:46,286
You really should have
those filed down though.
1343
01:03:46,286 --> 01:03:48,288
- Okay, all that stuff
my mom was talking about
1344
01:03:48,288 --> 01:03:51,040
back at the house, it's all true.
1345
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,459
Mona, you are 422 years old.
1346
01:03:53,459 --> 01:03:55,461
This is your 19th lifetime.
1347
01:03:55,461 --> 01:03:58,423
You always die on Halloween
night of your 22nd year.
1348
01:03:58,423 --> 01:03:59,590
- Ralph!
1349
01:03:59,590 --> 01:04:01,384
- Mona, we were lovers 400 years ago
1350
01:04:01,384 --> 01:04:03,094
and every 22 years since then,
1351
01:04:03,094 --> 01:04:04,929
and it always ends the same way.
1352
01:04:04,929 --> 01:04:06,431
- And how is that?
1353
01:04:06,431 --> 01:04:08,850
- You're killed by a pirate with a peg leg
1354
01:04:08,850 --> 01:04:11,060
wielding a gigantic ham bone.
1355
01:04:11,060 --> 01:04:12,353
- And then I'm reborn?
1356
01:04:12,353 --> 01:04:14,522
- Over and over.
1357
01:04:14,522 --> 01:04:18,693
- I think maybe you just
need some therapy, Ralph.
1358
01:04:18,693 --> 01:04:20,236
- Okay, you remember this?
1359
01:04:20,236 --> 01:04:21,779
You said you did back at the house.
1360
01:04:21,779 --> 01:04:22,864
- I do.
1361
01:04:22,864 --> 01:04:24,699
I remember that from somewhere.
1362
01:04:24,699 --> 01:04:26,075
- 1786.
1363
01:04:26,075 --> 01:04:26,993
- What?
1364
01:04:26,993 --> 01:04:28,369
- You owned it in 1786.
1365
01:04:28,369 --> 01:04:29,704
You wanna see what you looked like?
1366
01:04:29,704 --> 01:04:31,122
- I'm not sure.
1367
01:04:31,122 --> 01:04:34,792
(soft lullaby music)
1368
01:04:34,792 --> 01:04:37,295
- And here's you in 1918.
1369
01:04:37,295 --> 01:04:40,923
(soft lullaby music)
1370
01:04:40,923 --> 01:04:42,675
- Now wait a minute.
1371
01:04:42,675 --> 01:04:44,385
So that means that,
1372
01:04:44,385 --> 01:04:46,012
that you're--
- Yes.
1373
01:04:46,012 --> 01:04:47,597
- And that I'm--
- Yep.
1374
01:04:47,597 --> 01:04:50,141
- And that we're--
- You got it.
1375
01:04:51,267 --> 01:04:52,435
- Nah.
1376
01:04:52,435 --> 01:04:54,812
- Okay, okay, fine, fine.
1377
01:04:54,812 --> 01:04:57,315
Okay, I didn't wanna do this
but you leave me no choice.
1378
01:04:57,315 --> 01:04:59,359
Now watch close, I
haven't done this in years
1379
01:04:59,359 --> 01:05:02,987
and I'm not very good
at it so bear with me.
1380
01:05:09,369 --> 01:05:11,037
Hi.
1381
01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:12,205
Mona.
1382
01:05:12,205 --> 01:05:13,331
Mona, it's me.
1383
01:05:20,630 --> 01:05:21,589
Mona.
1384
01:05:21,589 --> 01:05:22,423
Mona.
1385
01:05:22,423 --> 01:05:24,008
- Stay away from me.
1386
01:05:24,008 --> 01:05:25,927
- It's okay, you react
like this every time.
1387
01:05:25,927 --> 01:05:27,095
Everything's okay, it's okay.
1388
01:05:27,095 --> 01:05:28,304
- No, no it isn't.
1389
01:05:28,304 --> 01:05:30,223
This is my fault.
1390
01:05:30,223 --> 01:05:31,724
I thought I could handle
this, I thought I was
1391
01:05:31,724 --> 01:05:34,102
more open-minded, but this.
1392
01:05:34,102 --> 01:05:35,561
This is just too much.
1393
01:05:35,561 --> 01:05:37,397
- No, no Mona it's okay,
all you have to do is make
1394
01:05:37,397 --> 01:05:38,773
it to All Saints Day.
1395
01:05:38,773 --> 01:05:39,982
- Stay away from me.
1396
01:05:39,982 --> 01:05:41,317
- Mona, you have no choice.
1397
01:05:41,317 --> 01:05:42,485
I love you, you love me.
1398
01:05:42,485 --> 01:05:44,487
If you don't listen to
me you're gonna die,
1399
01:05:44,487 --> 01:05:45,822
and we're gonna have to
do this all over again
1400
01:05:45,822 --> 01:05:47,407
in 22 years.
1401
01:05:47,407 --> 01:05:49,450
- I don't love you Ralph!
1402
01:05:50,368 --> 01:05:51,327
I don't!
1403
01:05:51,327 --> 01:05:52,120
- Mona!
1404
01:05:54,372 --> 01:05:55,164
Mona!
1405
01:05:58,376 --> 01:06:01,921
(slow, somber synth music)
1406
01:06:16,018 --> 01:06:18,146
(sobbing)
1407
01:06:22,608 --> 01:06:26,154
(slow, somber synth music)
1408
01:06:32,785 --> 01:06:35,830
(upbeat synth music)
1409
01:06:40,835 --> 01:06:43,463
(phone ringing)
1410
01:06:47,717 --> 01:06:50,011
♪ On the corners of boulevards ♪
1411
01:06:50,011 --> 01:06:54,974
♪ I call your name ♪
1412
01:06:56,309 --> 01:07:01,272
♪ Now and again they play our tune ♪
1413
01:07:04,984 --> 01:07:09,947
♪ In the grip of a tight
hand over the flame ♪
1414
01:07:13,409 --> 01:07:17,455
♪ Pale as the phases of the moon ♪
1415
01:07:26,464 --> 01:07:29,842
(funky soft synth music)
1416
01:07:39,685 --> 01:07:44,649
♪ In the cafes of shopping
malls I see your face ♪
1417
01:07:48,152 --> 01:07:53,115
♪ Turn into mist on evening dew ♪
1418
01:07:57,662 --> 01:08:02,625
♪ But a book and a photograph
just aren't the same ♪
1419
01:08:05,461 --> 01:08:09,590
♪ There is a train that's leaving soon ♪
1420
01:08:15,555 --> 01:08:18,516
(funky synth music)
1421
01:08:39,954 --> 01:08:42,915
♪ Budapest by blimp ♪
1422
01:08:50,006 --> 01:08:52,967
(funky synth music)
1423
01:08:59,015 --> 01:09:03,144
(yelling)
(whipping)
1424
01:09:12,028 --> 01:09:12,820
- No!
1425
01:09:13,779 --> 01:09:14,572
Ralph!
1426
01:09:16,073 --> 01:09:16,866
Ralph!
1427
01:09:31,672 --> 01:09:35,801
(birds chirping)
(rummaging)
1428
01:09:46,062 --> 01:09:47,938
- Your move, numb nuts.
1429
01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:51,651
Ralph.
1430
01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:54,028
- Huh?
1431
01:09:54,028 --> 01:09:54,945
- Your move.
1432
01:09:59,241 --> 01:10:00,493
- I'm sorry.
1433
01:10:00,493 --> 01:10:02,536
I just can't concentrate.
1434
01:10:05,206 --> 01:10:08,125
- Thinkin' about tonight?
1435
01:10:08,125 --> 01:10:09,669
Where you goin'?
1436
01:10:09,669 --> 01:10:10,461
- Out.
1437
01:10:11,504 --> 01:10:14,256
- Well don't forget your retainer.
1438
01:10:15,341 --> 01:10:18,219
- I don't need that anymore.
1439
01:10:18,219 --> 01:10:21,097
(slow, soft music)
1440
01:10:25,976 --> 01:10:28,938
- Well, are you quite sure?
1441
01:10:28,938 --> 01:10:31,649
No, I already have the
costume, what I want
1442
01:10:31,649 --> 01:10:34,443
is a rhinestone peg leg.
1443
01:10:34,443 --> 01:10:37,613
Yes, I know it's Halloween, goddammit.
1444
01:10:37,613 --> 01:10:38,614
Ugh!
1445
01:10:38,614 --> 01:10:40,741
What am I gonna do?
1446
01:10:40,741 --> 01:10:43,411
(sighing)
1447
01:10:43,411 --> 01:10:45,538
(dialing)
1448
01:10:47,623 --> 01:10:48,624
Hello?
1449
01:10:48,624 --> 01:10:49,875
Madam Ben Wa?
1450
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,420
Hi, it's Stanley, the ham bone?
1451
01:10:55,089 --> 01:10:58,175
I'm working on it, but listen.
1452
01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:01,470
I have another little problem.
1453
01:11:01,470 --> 01:11:04,348
(soft funky music)
1454
01:11:12,273 --> 01:11:13,899
- Unbelievable.
1455
01:11:13,899 --> 01:11:16,318
- [Man] Another van will
be along in 10 minutes.
1456
01:11:16,318 --> 01:11:17,111
Sorry.
1457
01:11:19,739 --> 01:11:22,241
- What am I gonna do?
1458
01:11:22,241 --> 01:11:25,119
(soft funky music)
1459
01:11:38,799 --> 01:11:39,842
- Thanks.
1460
01:11:39,842 --> 01:11:42,052
Just one of those days, you know?
1461
01:11:42,052 --> 01:11:44,430
- Try one of those lifetimes.
1462
01:11:47,683 --> 01:11:50,561
(soft funky music)
1463
01:12:01,989 --> 01:12:04,950
(people chattering)
1464
01:12:13,167 --> 01:12:16,712
(upbeat electronic music)
1465
01:12:16,712 --> 01:12:18,672
- I'm really worried.
1466
01:12:18,672 --> 01:12:20,424
I haven't seen her for days.
1467
01:12:20,424 --> 01:12:22,885
- And Ralph, I haven't seen him either.
1468
01:12:22,885 --> 01:12:24,094
- [Axman] Neither have I.
1469
01:12:24,094 --> 01:12:24,970
- I'm back!
1470
01:12:32,269 --> 01:12:35,481
(blowing through hand)
1471
01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:42,571
- Madam Ben Wa, is that you?
(hitting)
1472
01:12:42,571 --> 01:12:44,198
Hello Madam Ben Wa.
1473
01:12:44,198 --> 01:12:46,951
I've got everything ready, the
liquid nitrogen, everything.
1474
01:12:46,951 --> 01:12:48,619
All I need is--
1475
01:12:48,619 --> 01:12:49,829
Wow.
1476
01:12:49,829 --> 01:12:51,205
Real rhinestones.
1477
01:12:52,623 --> 01:12:54,708
Do you think she's gonna
be here, Madam Ben Wa?
1478
01:12:54,708 --> 01:12:55,960
(hitting)
1479
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,920
- Are you doubting Madam Ben Wa?
1480
01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,129
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.
1481
01:12:59,129 --> 01:13:02,258
- Do I sense that you are
wavering from your destiny?
1482
01:13:02,258 --> 01:13:03,676
- No, Madam Ben Wa.
1483
01:13:03,676 --> 01:13:06,095
- Do you love Mona more than life itself?
1484
01:13:06,095 --> 01:13:07,221
- Yes.
1485
01:13:07,221 --> 01:13:08,848
- Then you will save her from the vampire.
1486
01:13:08,848 --> 01:13:11,600
- Yes, Madam Ben Wa, yes, yes!
1487
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,352
- You remember.
1488
01:13:13,352 --> 01:13:14,645
Before midnight!
1489
01:13:15,771 --> 01:13:17,523
- [Robin] Suppose she
doesn't come on time.
1490
01:13:17,523 --> 01:13:18,440
- So you'll go on.
1491
01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:19,608
(scoffing)
1492
01:13:19,608 --> 01:13:21,318
- I can't do that.
1493
01:13:21,318 --> 01:13:23,612
- Sure you can, you know that song.
1494
01:13:23,612 --> 01:13:25,614
I've heard you sing it.
1495
01:13:25,614 --> 01:13:27,241
Ham.
1496
01:13:27,241 --> 01:13:28,826
Who brought the sandwiches?
1497
01:13:28,826 --> 01:13:30,077
- I did.
1498
01:13:30,077 --> 01:13:31,245
What's the matter?
1499
01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:33,706
Too cooked for you, Mr. Vampire?
1500
01:13:33,706 --> 01:13:35,749
- What's your costume, Stanley?
1501
01:13:35,749 --> 01:13:37,459
- It's a secret.
1502
01:13:37,459 --> 01:13:39,670
- It wouldn't happen to
be a pirate, would it?
1503
01:13:39,670 --> 01:13:41,088
- What if it is?
1504
01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:43,299
- [Woman] Lana, 10 minutes.
1505
01:13:44,341 --> 01:13:47,344
- Don't forget your peg leg, Stanley.
1506
01:13:49,972 --> 01:13:53,851
(upbeat electronic rock music)
1507
01:14:35,559 --> 01:14:39,438
(upbeat electronic rock music)
1508
01:14:49,657 --> 01:14:51,700
- [Stanley] God dammit!
1509
01:14:51,700 --> 01:14:52,534
- [Robin] Did you find her?
1510
01:14:52,534 --> 01:14:53,577
- No sign of her yet.
1511
01:14:53,577 --> 01:14:54,662
- [Chuck] Stanley's disappeared.
1512
01:14:54,662 --> 01:14:56,372
He was here one minute and gone the next.
1513
01:14:56,372 --> 01:14:57,206
- Okay, let's go.
1514
01:14:57,206 --> 01:15:00,000
Raphael, you and Chuck stage
left, Axman stage right.
1515
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,336
Be on the look out for
anyone in a pirate costume.
1516
01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:03,545
- What about Stanley?
1517
01:15:03,545 --> 01:15:05,297
- Leave Stanley to me.
1518
01:15:05,297 --> 01:15:07,549
- [Announcer] Club Hell presents Mona!
1519
01:15:07,549 --> 01:15:09,635
- It's up to you.
1520
01:15:09,635 --> 01:15:10,761
You can do it.
1521
01:15:11,887 --> 01:15:14,556
(crowd cheering)
1522
01:15:18,519 --> 01:15:20,980
- I'm waiting for you my love.
1523
01:15:22,773 --> 01:15:25,234
I hope Madam Ben Wa was right.
1524
01:15:28,696 --> 01:15:32,658
(upbeat electronic dance music)
1525
01:15:36,537 --> 01:15:38,205
♪ Na na na ♪
1526
01:15:38,205 --> 01:15:43,168
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
1527
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,047
♪ Na na na ♪
1528
01:15:47,047 --> 01:15:52,011
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
1529
01:15:53,512 --> 01:15:57,641
♪ I know of a country ♪
1530
01:15:57,641 --> 01:16:01,895
♪ Not too far from here ♪
1531
01:16:01,895 --> 01:16:06,316
♪ No one lives in hunger ♪
1532
01:16:06,316 --> 01:16:10,946
♪ No one lives in fear ♪
1533
01:16:10,946 --> 01:16:13,407
♪ United state of beat ♪
1534
01:16:13,407 --> 01:16:15,159
♪ We've got to go there ♪
1535
01:16:15,159 --> 01:16:17,703
♪ United state of beat ♪
1536
01:16:17,703 --> 01:16:19,496
♪ We've got to go ♪
1537
01:16:19,496 --> 01:16:21,999
♪ United state of beat ♪
1538
01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:23,917
♪ We've got to go there ♪
1539
01:16:23,917 --> 01:16:26,462
♪ United state of beat ♪
1540
01:16:26,462 --> 01:16:30,090
♪ We've got to go there now ♪
1541
01:16:32,259 --> 01:16:36,346
♪ Right now ♪
(cheering)
1542
01:16:42,519 --> 01:16:46,482
(upbeat electronic dance music)
1543
01:16:52,404 --> 01:16:54,948
- Mom, what are you doing here?
1544
01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:58,285
Mom!
1545
01:17:00,412 --> 01:17:01,205
Excuse me.
1546
01:17:02,247 --> 01:17:03,290
Mom, what are you doing here?
1547
01:17:03,290 --> 01:17:04,124
Are you okay?
1548
01:17:04,124 --> 01:17:06,960
- I just wanted to see
your little rock band play.
1549
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:10,005
Is that too much for a mother to ask?
1550
01:17:11,465 --> 01:17:15,594
(screaming)
(Stanley yelling)
1551
01:17:17,513 --> 01:17:18,305
- Mona!
1552
01:17:20,099 --> 01:17:20,891
Mona!
1553
01:17:21,850 --> 01:17:24,228
(people yelling)
1554
01:17:24,228 --> 01:17:25,020
- Ralph.
1555
01:17:26,480 --> 01:17:29,483
(slow, tense music)
(people yelling)
1556
01:17:29,483 --> 01:17:32,277
- [Mona] Put me down, what are you doing?
1557
01:17:32,277 --> 01:17:33,070
Stanley!
1558
01:17:34,113 --> 01:17:38,242
(people yelling)
(slow, tense music)
1559
01:17:39,660 --> 01:17:40,452
- Mona!
1560
01:17:44,373 --> 01:17:45,207
- [Chuck] Sorry, man, we lost--
1561
01:17:45,207 --> 01:17:47,042
- [Ralph] It's not important,
we gotta find Mona.
1562
01:17:47,042 --> 01:17:48,710
We gotta split up, what time is it?
1563
01:17:48,710 --> 01:17:49,711
- [Axman] Five to 12.
1564
01:17:49,711 --> 01:17:51,839
- [Ralph] I hope it's not too late.
1565
01:17:51,839 --> 01:17:53,715
- [Chuck] Come on then.
1566
01:17:57,845 --> 01:17:59,346
- Stanley.
1567
01:17:59,346 --> 01:18:00,722
What is going on?
1568
01:18:01,598 --> 01:18:02,933
- Destiny.
1569
01:18:02,933 --> 01:18:04,101
- Ouch!
1570
01:18:04,101 --> 01:18:05,227
Are you crazy?
1571
01:18:06,311 --> 01:18:09,273
(slow, tense music)
1572
01:18:10,315 --> 01:18:13,235
Stanley, is that a ham bone?
1573
01:18:13,235 --> 01:18:15,696
- Well it ain't chopped liver.
1574
01:18:17,948 --> 01:18:18,824
- Ham bone.
1575
01:18:20,367 --> 01:18:21,743
Pirate.
1576
01:18:21,743 --> 01:18:22,828
Halloween.
1577
01:18:22,828 --> 01:18:23,620
Ralph!
1578
01:18:25,038 --> 01:18:25,873
- Damn.
1579
01:18:25,873 --> 01:18:26,874
- Hey, Ralph, what's the good word?
1580
01:18:26,874 --> 01:18:28,125
You save her yet?
1581
01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:29,877
- Stanley's got her and
they've disappeared.
1582
01:18:29,877 --> 01:18:30,878
- Typical.
1583
01:18:30,878 --> 01:18:32,212
- What's typical?
1584
01:18:32,212 --> 01:18:33,755
- That the damsel's in
distress and you're caught
1585
01:18:33,755 --> 01:18:35,424
sleeping at the gate behind the eight ball
1586
01:18:35,424 --> 01:18:37,176
a day late and a dime short.
1587
01:18:37,176 --> 01:18:38,802
- Sometimes I really hate you.
1588
01:18:38,802 --> 01:18:41,638
- Oh, thanks a lot and I'm just
gonna tell you where she is.
1589
01:18:41,638 --> 01:18:42,890
- Where, where, where is she?
1590
01:18:42,890 --> 01:18:44,933
- But now I'm not going to.
1591
01:18:44,933 --> 01:18:46,226
- Tell me, where is she?
1592
01:18:46,226 --> 01:18:48,228
- Not until you apologize.
1593
01:18:48,228 --> 01:18:51,023
(whistling)
1594
01:18:51,023 --> 01:18:52,149
- I apologize!
1595
01:18:53,483 --> 01:18:57,112
- Who's your best friend
in the whole world?
1596
01:18:58,071 --> 01:18:59,740
I'm sorry, what, what, what, what, what?
1597
01:18:59,740 --> 01:19:00,574
I can't hear you.
1598
01:19:00,574 --> 01:19:01,408
- You are!
1599
01:19:01,408 --> 01:19:03,327
Tell me where she is!
1600
01:19:03,327 --> 01:19:04,703
- You go out that door, you make a left,
1601
01:19:04,703 --> 01:19:06,663
there's a access stairs.
1602
01:19:11,627 --> 01:19:12,419
Hm.
1603
01:19:13,420 --> 01:19:15,464
It's gonna be close.
1604
01:19:15,464 --> 01:19:18,175
(people yelling)
1605
01:19:19,259 --> 01:19:20,844
- Why, Stanley, why?
1606
01:19:20,844 --> 01:19:21,887
- Because I love you, Mona.
1607
01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:23,972
We belong together.
1608
01:19:23,972 --> 01:19:24,973
- So you're gonna kill me?
1609
01:19:24,973 --> 01:19:25,807
- Well not exactly.
1610
01:19:25,807 --> 01:19:27,809
I'm gonna freeze you cryogenically
1611
01:19:27,809 --> 01:19:29,853
and then we'll be together forever.
1612
01:19:29,853 --> 01:19:30,646
- No!
1613
01:19:33,315 --> 01:19:36,026
- Drop the bone, Stanley.
1614
01:19:36,026 --> 01:19:37,110
- Make me.
1615
01:19:37,110 --> 01:19:39,321
- I don't make garbage.
1616
01:19:39,321 --> 01:19:40,155
I burn it.
1617
01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:41,615
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
1618
01:19:42,574 --> 01:19:45,661
(tense music)
1619
01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:47,496
Is that a ham bone Stanley?
1620
01:19:47,496 --> 01:19:48,872
- Why, yes, I think it is.
1621
01:19:48,872 --> 01:19:53,001
- Well that explains our
little backstage porkfest.
1622
01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:54,544
Nice touch with the peg leg.
1623
01:19:54,544 --> 01:19:56,255
Where did you get it?
1624
01:19:57,464 --> 01:19:59,675
- My psychic, Madam Ben Wa.
1625
01:20:01,843 --> 01:20:04,554
(grunting)
1626
01:20:04,554 --> 01:20:06,765
(grunting)
1627
01:20:08,558 --> 01:20:09,643
- [Axman] They're nowhere in sight.
1628
01:20:09,643 --> 01:20:11,019
- Ralph just disappeared.
1629
01:20:11,019 --> 01:20:12,646
- Well we gotta find him,
it's almost midnight.
1630
01:20:12,646 --> 01:20:14,273
Tuty, is there another way out of here?
1631
01:20:14,273 --> 01:20:15,107
- Yes.
1632
01:20:15,107 --> 01:20:16,984
There's a little door that
goes upstairs over there.
1633
01:20:16,984 --> 01:20:18,277
- [Chuck] Great!
1634
01:20:21,363 --> 01:20:23,490
(yelling)
1635
01:20:24,658 --> 01:20:26,785
(yelling)
1636
01:20:34,126 --> 01:20:36,003
- The girl is mine!
1637
01:20:36,003 --> 01:20:37,379
- [Ralph] Is not!
1638
01:20:41,091 --> 01:20:41,883
- Is too.
1639
01:20:43,010 --> 01:20:44,261
- Is not.
1640
01:20:44,261 --> 01:20:46,096
This time, the pirate loses.
1641
01:20:46,096 --> 01:20:49,850
All my life, I've been pushed
around by punks like you.
1642
01:20:49,850 --> 01:20:52,060
No one ever believed in me.
1643
01:20:52,060 --> 01:20:54,563
I never even believed in myself.
1644
01:20:54,563 --> 01:20:56,940
I spent centuries wallowing in self-pity.
1645
01:20:56,940 --> 01:20:59,943
I was such a weakling, I
couldn't even shake a cold.
1646
01:20:59,943 --> 01:21:02,070
The only person who believed
in me was my mother,
1647
01:21:02,070 --> 01:21:03,363
God bless her.
1648
01:21:03,363 --> 01:21:05,073
If it weren't for that woman--
1649
01:21:05,073 --> 01:21:07,409
- Oh Ralph, I'm sorry.
1650
01:21:07,409 --> 01:21:08,702
- Mom.
1651
01:21:08,702 --> 01:21:09,745
- Madam Ben Wa?
1652
01:21:09,745 --> 01:21:10,871
- Mrs. Levee?
1653
01:21:10,871 --> 01:21:11,997
- Madam Ben Wa?
1654
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:13,498
- Mom?
1655
01:21:13,498 --> 01:21:15,083
- I thought I was doing the right thing
1656
01:21:15,083 --> 01:21:17,419
but now I know I was wrong.
1657
01:21:17,419 --> 01:21:19,338
- You mean you were behind
this the whole time?
1658
01:21:19,338 --> 01:21:20,839
- You were my little boy.
1659
01:21:20,839 --> 01:21:22,632
I didn't want you to leave home.
1660
01:21:22,632 --> 01:21:24,217
Now I know you're all grown up.
1661
01:21:24,217 --> 01:21:25,427
- You're in this together.
1662
01:21:25,427 --> 01:21:27,179
Die, vampire scum!
1663
01:21:27,179 --> 01:21:28,555
- [Phoebe] Ralph!
1664
01:21:29,931 --> 01:21:32,434
- That was my mother you just boned.
1665
01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,061
- She was a traitor.
1666
01:21:36,730 --> 01:21:38,148
Nothing can stop me now.
1667
01:21:38,148 --> 01:21:38,982
- [Mona] No!
1668
01:21:38,982 --> 01:21:39,816
Ralph!
1669
01:21:39,816 --> 01:21:43,695
- Not so fast, you leave
me no choice, Stanley.
1670
01:21:50,994 --> 01:21:53,205
Drop the ham bone, Stanley.
1671
01:21:55,165 --> 01:21:57,292
(yelling)
1672
01:22:00,087 --> 01:22:01,463
- [Man] Two, one.
1673
01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:05,217
You are now totally relaxed yet energized
1674
01:22:05,217 --> 01:22:07,803
in a beautiful and harmonious way.
1675
01:22:07,803 --> 01:22:10,263
Imagine the energy of the
universe coming in through
1676
01:22:10,263 --> 01:22:13,558
the top of your head and radiating out.
1677
01:22:13,558 --> 01:22:16,144
While gripping your
nine iron, inhale deeply
1678
01:22:16,144 --> 01:22:19,022
and mentally repeat these affirmations:
1679
01:22:19,022 --> 01:22:22,651
my nine iron is an extension of my penis.
1680
01:22:22,651 --> 01:22:26,571
My nine iron is an extension of my penis.
1681
01:22:26,571 --> 01:22:30,075
(Ralph grunting)
1682
01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:32,285
- I knew that would come in handy one day.
1683
01:22:32,285 --> 01:22:34,371
Mona, are you alright?
1684
01:22:34,371 --> 01:22:35,831
- You know the second
time around that bat thing
1685
01:22:35,831 --> 01:22:37,207
was kind of cute.
1686
01:22:39,918 --> 01:22:41,670
- Yowza, what happened here?
1687
01:22:41,670 --> 01:22:42,879
- It's after 12.
1688
01:22:42,879 --> 01:22:43,713
- [Raphael] You saved her.
1689
01:22:43,713 --> 01:22:44,464
- Yes!
1690
01:22:45,465 --> 01:22:48,343
(soft, slow music)
1691
01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:51,430
Mom.
1692
01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:54,474
Come here.
1693
01:22:54,474 --> 01:22:55,267
- Oh.
1694
01:22:57,644 --> 01:22:59,187
Oh Ralphie.
1695
01:22:59,187 --> 01:23:00,522
Do you forgive me?
1696
01:23:00,522 --> 01:23:03,108
(hissing)
1697
01:23:03,108 --> 01:23:04,609
- Of course we forgive you.
1698
01:23:04,609 --> 01:23:05,735
- Oh, Ralphie!
1699
01:23:09,990 --> 01:23:12,951
(people chattering)
1700
01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:19,332
(cheering)
1701
01:23:20,375 --> 01:23:21,418
- No hickies.
1702
01:23:22,502 --> 01:23:23,295
- Ralph?
1703
01:23:25,130 --> 01:23:25,922
Hey Ralph?
1704
01:23:29,634 --> 01:23:31,011
Ralph?
1705
01:23:31,011 --> 01:23:33,180
Where are you man?
1706
01:23:33,180 --> 01:23:33,972
Ralph!
1707
01:23:35,015 --> 01:23:35,807
Come on.
1708
01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:39,811
Hey, did you get her?
1709
01:23:41,146 --> 01:23:42,606
Ralph?
1710
01:23:42,606 --> 01:23:45,484
Come on, I'm ready, don't leave me.
1711
01:23:47,027 --> 01:23:47,861
Ral--
1712
01:23:47,861 --> 01:23:49,946
Okay, I'll wait, I'll wait.
1713
01:23:49,946 --> 01:23:51,656
Ralph! Where are you?
1714
01:23:55,243 --> 01:23:57,245
Ralph, come on, I'm locked in here!
1715
01:23:57,245 --> 01:23:58,038
Ralph!
1716
01:24:01,625 --> 01:24:02,417
Okay.
1717
01:24:03,627 --> 01:24:04,503
Okay, fine.
1718
01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:08,006
To hell with this.
1719
01:24:08,006 --> 01:24:09,299
(grunting)
1720
01:24:09,299 --> 01:24:12,344
(glass shattering)
1721
01:24:12,344 --> 01:24:16,473
(upbeat rock music)
(cheering)
1722
01:24:33,615 --> 01:24:35,825
(cheering)
1723
01:24:47,754 --> 01:24:49,214
Wow, it's deja vu.
1724
01:24:51,258 --> 01:24:55,136
(upbeat rock music)
(cheering)
1725
01:24:55,136 --> 01:24:57,180
- The return of the king!
1726
01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:03,186
(cheering)
1727
01:25:04,646 --> 01:25:07,607
(upbeat rock music)
1728
01:25:43,226 --> 01:25:44,394
♪ Well there's a party in my pants ♪
1729
01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:48,106
♪ If you'd like to take a gander ♪
1730
01:25:48,106 --> 01:25:49,357
♪ And there's a rocket in my pocket ♪
1731
01:25:49,357 --> 01:25:53,153
♪ Like a pink salamander ♪
1732
01:25:53,153 --> 01:25:58,241
♪ If diamond ring's something you lack ♪
1733
01:25:58,241 --> 01:26:03,204
♪ Well don't worry baby
'cause the king is back ♪
1734
01:26:03,413 --> 01:26:05,707
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1735
01:26:05,707 --> 01:26:06,875
♪ I got love in my tummy ♪
1736
01:26:06,875 --> 01:26:08,418
♪ There's enough to go around ♪
1737
01:26:08,418 --> 01:26:11,087
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1738
01:26:11,087 --> 01:26:13,506
♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪
1739
01:26:13,506 --> 01:26:17,969
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1740
01:26:17,969 --> 01:26:22,932
♪ My name is Rockula and
I'm takin' no prisoners ♪
1741
01:26:23,350 --> 01:26:28,104
♪ Later in the day I got nothin' to do ♪
1742
01:26:28,104 --> 01:26:32,400
♪ I'm gonna buy me a car maybe
I'll buy you one too baby ♪
1743
01:26:32,400 --> 01:26:33,443
♪ Toot toot ♪
1744
01:26:33,443 --> 01:26:37,322
♪ If you need money, baby, I got a stack ♪
1745
01:26:37,322 --> 01:26:38,156
♪ Doot doot ♪
1746
01:26:38,156 --> 01:26:43,119
♪ Just tell all your friends
that the king is back ♪
1747
01:26:43,286 --> 01:26:45,413
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1748
01:26:45,413 --> 01:26:48,541
♪ I got love, I got money,
there's enough to go around ♪
1749
01:26:48,541 --> 01:26:50,752
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1750
01:26:50,752 --> 01:26:53,213
♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪
1751
01:26:53,213 --> 01:26:58,009
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1752
01:26:58,009 --> 01:27:02,138
♪ My name Rockula, I'm gonna
play my thing right now ♪
1753
01:27:05,350 --> 01:27:08,311
(upbeat rock music)
1754
01:27:24,285 --> 01:27:26,871
♪ It's time to sing along kids ♪
1755
01:27:26,871 --> 01:27:28,248
♪ Just repeat after me ♪
1756
01:27:28,248 --> 01:27:29,624
♪ Say yabba dabba do ♪
1757
01:27:29,624 --> 01:27:30,667
♪ Yabba dabba do ♪
1758
01:27:30,667 --> 01:27:32,043
♪ Say apple sucka berrya ♪
1759
01:27:32,043 --> 01:27:33,253
♪ Apple sucka berrya ♪
1760
01:27:33,253 --> 01:27:34,587
♪ Say ke ke ke ke ki ♪
1761
01:27:34,587 --> 01:27:35,547
♪ Ke ke ke ke ki ♪
1762
01:27:35,547 --> 01:27:37,048
♪ Say gurgle laka slackajaw ♪
1763
01:27:37,048 --> 01:27:38,091
♪ Gurgle laka slackajaw ♪
1764
01:27:38,091 --> 01:27:39,592
♪ Say yo, yo ♪
1765
01:27:39,592 --> 01:27:40,802
♪ Mo, mo ♪
1766
01:27:40,802 --> 01:27:42,387
♪ Yo, mo ♪
1767
01:27:42,387 --> 01:27:45,890
♪ And nine, 10, 11, 12 ♪
1768
01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:47,934
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1769
01:27:47,934 --> 01:27:50,895
♪ I got love, I got money,
there's enough to go around ♪
1770
01:27:50,895 --> 01:27:53,398
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1771
01:27:53,398 --> 01:27:55,817
♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪
1772
01:27:55,817 --> 01:28:00,613
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1773
01:28:00,613 --> 01:28:03,616
♪ My name is Rockula let's sing it again ♪
1774
01:28:03,616 --> 01:28:05,493
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1775
01:28:05,493 --> 01:28:08,329
♪ I got love, I got money,
there's enough to go around ♪
1776
01:28:08,329 --> 01:28:10,749
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1777
01:28:10,749 --> 01:28:13,376
♪ Rockulin' down to the bo diddley sound ♪
1778
01:28:13,376 --> 01:28:18,381
♪ Hey, Rockula ♪
1779
01:28:18,381 --> 01:28:22,010
♪ Come here baby and hold my thing ♪
1780
01:28:22,010 --> 01:28:24,637
♪ Thank you ♪
1781
01:28:24,637 --> 01:28:27,599
(upbeat rock music)
1782
01:28:29,601 --> 01:28:33,438
♪ What you want, I'm the king ♪
1783
01:28:33,438 --> 01:28:36,399
(upbeat rock music)
1784
01:28:40,612 --> 01:28:43,865
♪ How'd you like that baby ♪
1785
01:28:43,865 --> 01:28:47,994
(cheering)
♪ Thank you ♪
1786
01:28:54,793 --> 01:28:57,754
(upbeat rock music)
1787
01:30:01,150 --> 01:30:04,112
(upbeat rock music)
113305
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