Original subtitles

Count off!

At ease! Now, men,

Mr. Jeffries has something important to say to you.

Boys, I've been managing picture theaters for a long time,

and I want to say that this is the neatest

and best-Drilled company of ushers I've ever seen.

But some of you are not measuring up

to the necessary standards of discipline that I insist upon.

I won't mention any names.

This is merely a friendly warning.

That any usher caught chewing gum during the performance of duty,

will be dismissed.

I must report, that a certain usher is

using the men's lavatory on the mezzanine floor

for dice and crap games.

This must stop.

I think i've made myself clear.

That's all.

Keep an eye on them, Seymour.

Company, attention!

Fall out for 5 minutes.

Oh, Quigley... come here.

I've already warned you a couple of times this week.

Look at yourself!

Well? What's your excuse this time?

Walking around on my knees to give my arches a rest.

Let me see your hands.

Ever try using soap and water?

Let me see the other one.

I thought so!

You heard what Mr. Jeffries said.

That's your last warning.

If you're late again, you'll be dismissed.

Feature goes on in 15 minutes.

Seats in the balcony only. Stairway to the right, please.

"Coming... Edward G. Robinson

In Dark Hazard."

We got to get a load of that guy.

Yeah. He's not bad.

Hey, you got a Mickey Mouse on the bill today?

No, not today.

What? No Mickey Mouse?

No, no Mickey Mouse.

Why?

Because he's making a personal appearance in Jersey city.

Aw, you're trying to kid somebody, huh?

Come on, Slug. Let's get our dough back.

I'm sorry, madam, but you can't take the dog inside.

But Fido wouldn't make the least bit of trouble.

I'm sorry, but it's against the rules, madam.

I'll have you understand I'm not a madam!

Well... I wouldn't know about that.

I'm sorry.

- Would you take your hands off me? - What's the trouble here?

The lady has a dog, and I told her she couldn't take it inside.

You needn't have been so rude about it. Oh, fido, did he hurt 'ums?

- May I take your dog? - No.

I'll give him right back to you after the performance.

You're sure you'll take good care of him?

- Certainly. - Well, thanks!

That's the second complaint I've had about you within the past 5 minutes.

I must be slowing up.

From now on, I think we can get along without your services.

- Aw, you hurt me. - Turn in your uniform!

Listen, Fido, this guy's got a wooden leg.

Try it sometime.

I dub you lieutenant.

Uh-Huh, did it again. That's 4 passes in a row.

If this keeps up, baby, I'm gonna buy a nice new fur coat.

What kind do you want?

Mink.

You'll take rabbit and like it. And that's no--

Am I aggrieved.

Well, better luck next time...

Hmm... what lovely weather we're having.

Excuse me, I've got to see a patient.

Taxi?

Uh...no, no.

That dame just dropped this purse.

I'll see that she gets it.

Uh-Uh, uh-Uh. No, I think she'd like me to have it.

What is it?

Yeah, you're the doll.

You dropped this in the lobby of the Randolph hotel.

I tried to catch you, but you were too fast for me.

Oh, thank you.

I didn't miss it until I got home.

I wondered where I lost it.

Won't you come in a minute?

Who could say no?

Oh, it's all there. All I wanted was the card.

I didn't mean it that way.

I was looking for a reward for you,

But I'm afraid I haven't got enough.

Who said anything about dough?

Well, at least sit down and have a drink.

Why not make it two-- One for you?

Well, I'll have a little one.

How much?

Oh, about two ounces-- One for each kidney.

Here.

Oh, uh...chaser?

Always have been.

Ohh...

Funny fella.

Oh, I beg your pardon. I didn't know you had company.

Oh, that's all right.

I lost my purse, and this gentleman returned it.

Oh, uh, what did you say your name was?

Well, I guess I can tell it here. Dan Quigley.

- Irish? - That's the rumor.

Well, Mr. Quigley,

I want you to know my brother-In-Law, Mr. Maddock.

- Pleased to meet you. - Same to you.

Uh-Huh. I see you got a little game going on in there.

Oh, yes, just a little 5-Cent ante, 3 of the boys from my lodge.

Do you mind if I kiss myself in, make it 5-Handed?

No, not at all. New customer might change my luck.

All right, swell.

Sorry, sister, but you know how it is.

That's all right, go ahead.

May make the price of a fur coat. Who can tell?

Pair of queens for Quigley...

And an ace showing for me.

Beat the queens.

Man: - I'll fold. - Enough for me.

Here goes my stack.

Bullets. That last ace came in handy.

That cleans me. I'll be drifting along.

Too bad you had such rotten luck.

Well, you can't draw tough cards all your life.

You played a good game. It just didn't happen, that's all.

Better luck next time, Quigley.

No squawk. Be seeing you.

Sure.

Any luck?

Yeah, plenty-- All bad.

I think I'll stick to checkers.

Well, thanks for returning my purse. Come up again sometime.

You mean when I can stay longer?

Bye, baby. Keep a light burning in the window.

So long.

Good-Bye.

Pardon me...

Does Miss Myra Gale live on this floor?

Why, yes. She was right in there, but she's not in now.

Anything I can do? I'm her brother-In-Law.

I found her purse.

She lost it in a florist's shop on fifth avenue,

So I came to return it.

Oh, yes, I see. That's very nice of you.

I'd be glad to take it and give it back to her when she comes in,

And I'll see that you get a reward.

No, no, thanks. That's all right.

I'm glad to have been of service.

You'll see that she gets it?

Oh, yes, yes... I sure will.

Thank you.

Would you like to leave your name?

No, thank you, that's all right.

All right.

Uh, good-Bye.

Good-Bye.

Hello. You dropped your purse.

Play me for a sucker, huh? Trying to pull a fast one!

I'm wise to your racket. Come on, kick back with my dough!

Don't get excited. Let's talk it over.

Talk nothing over!

Your game is crooked! I want my dough!

Listen, you lost your money in the game. Now, get out of--

You kick back with my 50 bucks,

Or I'll fold your joint up like an accordion.

I'll squawk my head off to every cop in town. Come on!

- Miss Myra Gale? - Yes.

You dropped your purse as you was coming out of the beauty parlor.

I picked it up, called to you,

But I guess you didn't hear me.

Oh, that was sweet of you.

Thank you. Won't you come in for a moment?

Uh... thank you.

All right, there's your 50 bucks. Now get out of here.

No, I don't think I will.

Listen, boys... I've got a little proposition to make.

There's another sucker out there

With another purse and a bankroll...

And I'm here.

What's it worth to you guys to have me keep my trap shut?

You got your dough. Now scram.

Mm-Mm. I'm staying.

You kick in 10% of what you take that chump for,

Or I'll go out and tip him off he's headed for the cleaners.

You'll keep your trap shut or I'll--

Put that away or I'll jam it down your throat.

Come on, now, get smart. You got a sweet racket here.

Maybe I can show you a few new wrinkles.

Cut me in on the profits,

And I'll guarantee you $1,000 a week for your take.

- What do you say? - Smart little guy, ain't you.

I've been around.

Ok, it's a deal.

Swell.

Brother-In-Law.

Who was that at the door, sis?

Oh, I beg your pardon. I didn't know you had company.

Oh, that's all right. I lost my purse,

And this gentleman returned it to me.

What did you say your name was?

Roland. J.B. Roland.

Mr. Roland, my... brother.

Pleased to know you, sir.

How do you do? I'm glad to know you, Mr. Roland.

I've just been playing a little game of nickel ante with some friends.

More laughs than a barrel of monkeys.

All right... Pete, Smiley, Duke, and Myra.

Pick it up. It's all yours.

Open one month, and we're doing all right.

Yeah, not a bad racket, and we got a perfect cover-Up, too.

Lucky day for you, babe, when you dropped that purse.

It was lucky for all of us.

Well, kept my promise, didn't I?

Promised you a thousand and got you ten. That's not bad.

It's all in knowing your stuff-- Got to have ideas.

Think you could learn?

Right here.

Hey, Dan...

You ought to see that dame I just let in here.

She's covered with rocks from head to foot.

What's her name?

Mrs. Wilbur Marley.

Marley, Marley... seems to me I read something about her.

You probably did. Her husband died about a year ago

and left her 6 or 7 skyscrapers and a steamship company.

Yeah? Come here, take a gander at her.

Did you say gander?

I wonder how she'd go for a goose.

George, see about that young man.

I think he's hurt!

I saw the accident from down the street.

I'm dr. Crane. Can I be of any assistance?

Well, I'm quite all right, but that young man...

Oh, surely.

Don't touch him! Don't move him.

Let me see what we have here.

If there was only someplace I could take him

where I could make a more complete examination...

Well, this is my home. I'm mrs. Marley. You can take him in there.

Oh, that's fine. Thank you.

Will you help me? There...come on.

That's it.

Quiet, now. Easy.

Doctor, you're sure he'll be all right?

He's pretty badly shaken up.

If he could remain here for a while and rest,

I'm sure he'll be all right.

I'll have him removed to a hospital later on.

By all means, doctor. Anything you think necessary.

This young man should be very grateful to you, Mrs. Marley.

Not at all. It was very fortunate for him that you came along.

Come, George... and for goodness' sake, do be careful!

- Well? How did it go? - Duck soup.

Dan's in the house, and mrs. Marley's gone out.

Great work, doc.! Give us a cigarette, Myra.

- Ok, driver, step on it! - Oh, boy!

I'll get it.

Hello?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah, I get you.

Ok...in 15 minutes.

Come on.

Crane: You tell Mrs. Marley that everything's all right.

We're taking this young man to the hospital for an X-Ray.

- Yes, sir. - Thank you for your trouble.

Not at all, sir. Would you take these, sir?

Oh, yes, thank you. Thanks.

What's the dope? Let's have it.

All right, here it is.

Right here's the living room, and there's the library.

There's a door here and 3 windows here.

On the right side of the library as you go in is a fireplace,

and over the fireplace, an oil painting

of some silly ape in a costume, holding a sword.

Behind the oil painting is the wall safe...

I tell you, it couldn't be helped.

The dame started to yell, and I had to knock her cold.

Sure. Those things happen. There's nothing to worry about.

There's plenty to worry about!

If that maid croaks, we're all sunk.

Well, who knows anything about us?

I suppose every cop in town is a dumbbell--

Nobody ever did a rap for murder!

Answer that, will you?

Oh...hello.

Go on with your game. We're just looking around.

Say...

Isn't your name, uh... Quigley?

- Dan Quigley? - Yeah.

Weren't you mixed up in a little automobile accident

over in Roslyn, Long Island, a few days ago?

Uh-Huh, but it didn't amount to much.

Why, the butler in the Marley home said they took you to the hospital.

Oh, no. No, I couldn't afford it.

Had the doctor take me home instead.

- Is that so? - Yeah.

What was the doctor's name?

Oh... I don't know. I never saw him before.

All I know is he charged me 10 bucks.

- How do you feel now? - All right.

Hmm. Funny thing...

That house they carried you into was robbed the same day,

And the maid has a fractured skull.

Oh, that's a shame.

A swell-Lookin' gal, too.

Well, uh, how about a little drink?

No. We just dropped in to see how you were getting on.

Don't get in any more accidents.

I'll try not to.

Dan: good-Bye.

So they don't know anything about us, huh?

They're getting ready to knock us off now!

Take it easy. If they had anything on us, they'd have made the pinch.

What's the matter? You gettin' yellow?

No... getting smart.

What are you squawking about?

Pete and Smiley and I take all the chances

while you lay around waiting for something to happen...

Ladyfingers.

Dan!

Stop it, Dan! We've no time for that.

Hold it, Duke.

Let go.

Go to work on that guy. We need him.

Hot stuff is hard to get rid of.

7,500 is the best I can do for the whole works.

Come on, Charlie, open up.

That ring alone's worth 10 grand.

Sure, it is. The paper said it was 12 carats.

I'm taking an awful chance.

If the bulls ever hook me up with you guys, I'm sunk.

Dan: oh, come on, come on.

Take the 7,500 and call it a deal. Get rid of that stuff.

All right. You're robbing us at that price,

But wrap it up.

All right.

There's your dough.

Give me a buzz when you get some more stuff.

Yeah.

Pete get back yet?

No. What's the matter with you? You're shaking like a hophead.

We got to work fast.

- We're in a jam. - What's it all about?

Things are getting too hot.

The district attorney's office is bearing down on us.

What for?

Well, that butler we slugged on the Crosby job... croaked.

Murder, huh? You were warned before to lay off that rough stuff!

Now you've put us all on the spot!

Lay off, will you? What's the use of arguing about it now?

The D.A.'S office has been sweatin' pete all afternoon.

Suppose he cracks? Suppose he can't take it? Then what?

Then somebody goes to the electric chair... and it won't be me!

Putting the finger on a little jewelry is one thing,

But bumping people off is another, and I don't want any part of it!

I warned you before,

And now I'm through!

This is the finish!

You gonna start crying again?

Every time anybody gets a little tap on the head,

You want to play Red Cross nurse.

Oh, shut up.

Hey... maybe we all better take a powder out of town--

Scram up to Montreal and hide out in the woods for a while.

Pete: Hi.

What happened at the D.A.'s office?

Did you spill anything?

No. They didn't have a thing on me.

Asked me a few questions and let me go.

What do you mean, let you go?

Come on, come on, spill it!

What kind of questions did they ask you?

Well, you know... they-- They said,

"What do you know about knocking over that joint?"

And, "what do you know about knocking over this joint?"

And I said, "I don't know a thing."

You're a liar, pete. You're lying!

No! Honest, Duke, you got me wrong!

You rat. They broke you!

You squealed to save your own neck.

You put the rap on me!

On the level, duke, I didn't tell them nothin'! Honest!

Stay where you are! Keep your seats!

Remain quiet! Come on, boys.

The coppers are crashing the joint. They're bustin' in now!

So you didn't squeal, huh? You jerk!

Please!

Come on, come on!

Let's get out of here! What are you waiting for?

That mug's been walking up and down

Outside of here for the last 5 minutes.

Looks like a copper to me.

He couldn't be a copper. His feet aren't flat enough.

Besides, who knows we're in Chicago?

There's always the telegraph, dumbbell.

Listen, here...

You pay the check.

I'll meet you at Dearborn street station in a half-Hour.

I'll see if I can shake this guy.

She has the check.

Come on, come on, spill it! What's on your mind?

Could you let me have a dime for a cup of coffee?

There's a buck. Buy yourself a percolator.

Thanks, mister. I had you sized up for a regular guy

When I spotted you in the restaurant.

Yeah, yeah...

Man: All aboard!

All aboard!

Huh...an awful lot of places to go.

- Want to go to Europe? - Nix. That's out.

You can't get out of this country without paying your income tax.

Hmm...that income tax. I wish I had a piece of that racket.

Hey, what about Florida?

Uh-Uh. Too many hurricanes-- Blow you right out of bed.

Wake up in the morning and find a boat in your lap.

Huh... California.

"Land of eternal sunshine.

Ideal climate year 'round. No fog, no rain."

Let's go out there and get sunburned.

Let's see what else they've got.

Aha! "Sun-Kissed oranges, lemons, prunes, figs, grapefruit..."

Wait a minute, wait a minute...

I got an idea.

Let's try a little roulette.

Los Angeles.

I crown you.

And away we go.

Sunny California, huh? This looks like way down east.

This is unusual weather, sir.

Mighty unusual weather.

- Just a high fall. - That's all, huh?

Yeah, I read where it never rains out here,

But they sometimes have 9 or 10 feet of dew.

Here...here's 4 bits. Split it between you.

And check those bags, will you?

- Yes, sir. Thank you. - Don't forget me!

Oh, I won't forget you.

Uh-Oh...there's a couple of dicks lookin' for somebody.

Here...here, take this and scram.

And check in at the Alexandria hotel.

I'll see you there. Go ahead.

Just a minute.

- Your name Quigley? - Yeah.

How do you like Los Angeles?

Should be swell if it ever stops raining.

Well, we're on the city reception committee,

And the chief asked us to meet you-- Kind of a little welcome.

Sorry we haven't got a band.

Oh, that's all right. I hate music. What's the beef?

The chief would like to have a little talk with you.

Hope you don't mind riding in an open car.

Why, no, not at all. Got an extra pair of oars?

Here, driver. I'm getting out here.

Myra! What are you doing here?

Ducking the cops, same as you.

Where's Dan?

They grabbed him at the station.

Got him down at headquarters for a few questions.

Yeah? They're wise out here already? That's not so good.

How'd you squirm out of New York?

Jumped my bail, beat it out here by plane. Just got here.

Things are plenty hot back home.

What's your reason for coming to Los Angeles?

Oh, just globetrotting.

Conditions a little bit unhealthy back east, eh?

Yeah. My asthma was bothering me...

So I thought I'd run out here

And get some of this nice California sunshine of yours.

I've a wire here from new york authorities

Requesting us to hold you in custody

pending the outcome of an investigation.

What's the charge?

Suspicion of grand larceny.

You'll never make it stick. I haven't done a thing.

That's not the question. Lock him up.

Now, listen, sugar...

I've never steered you wrong before. They got Dan sewed up.

You stay away from that guy, or the cops will grab you, too.

What do we do?

Beat it out of the country till things cool off.

Duke and Smiley are in Montreal.

The quickest getaway for us is Mexico.

How much dough have you got?

5,500. Oh, but that belongs to Dan.

Oh, forget that chump. If the cops grab us,

They'll lock us up and throw the key away.

Now, listen, kid...

We can take that money and go down to Mexico city

And have a swell time-- No cops, no worries,

Just you and me lapping up good liquor all the time...

Going to bullfights.

We might even take a trip to South America

if we get tired of the tamales.

What do you say?

Hello. Is that you, Myra?

Yeah, I'm still in the can.

They're holding me on some kind of trumped-Up larceny charge.

Listen, I've got a mouthpiece here who can spring me if I put up bond.

Yeah. 5 grand. Yeah, it's gonna take 5 grand.

Listen, you hop in a cab and bring that dough down here, will you?

Mm-Hmm, all of it.

All right, honey. Uh... just a minute.

It's Dan. We can't run out on him now.

He needs that money for bail.

You're off your nut!

You take my advice and stay away from that guy!

You go down there now, and they'll grab you, too.

Hello!

Oh...

- What's the mat-- - Hello, Dan?

I just happened to think...

If I show my face down there,

They'll put me in, too.

Maybe you're right.

Well, listen, I'll send my lawyer over for it right away.

Have it ready for him, will you? Yeah, right away.

All right. Listen, go over to the Alexandria hotel and ask for Myra Gale.

She's got the dough. She'll give it to you.

OK!

No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Give me one of your cards.

- Is that him? - Yeah.

All right, go ahead, quick.

Hmm...

All right...

Hello, Quigley?

That girl you sent me here to see...

She ain't here.

What do you mean, she ain't there?

The clerk tells me she checked out just a few minutes ago.

Yeah... with her boyfriend.

It's all your fault!

Wait a minute!

Take him back and let him cool off.

Sorry.

You're pretty lucky.

New york couldn't quite get the goods on you.

I told you that in the first place.

What are you gonna do when you walk out of here?

Got any money?

Oh, I'm all right. Besides, I've got a job promised.

I'll give you just 48 hours to get that job...

And if you haven't got one by that time,

You better get out of town.

Yeah. And if you're picked up on the street after that,

We'll run you in as a vag.

That'll mean 30 days in the tank.

Now, you got your tip, so run along.

Come on, let's take a look in there.

Look...you see that guy over there?

Yeah.

Get him.

Hey!

Hey, you!

Hey, wait! Hey, I want to talk to you!

Grab him.

Here, here, wait a minute.

What's your hurry?

I wasn't in any hurry. I just didn't see you, that's all.

What's your name? Where do you live?

Danny Dever.

It's all right, officer. We want to talk to this guy.

Who are you?

I'm from the National Studios in Hollywood.

Oh, yeah.

We're looking for types, new faces-- Tough guys for a gangster picture.

Do you want a job?

Doing what?

Acting in pictures.

Who are you trying to rib?

- Do you want it or don't you? - What's in it?

3 bucks a day and a box lunch.

- I'm on. - OK.

Be at the national studios at 7:00 tomorrow morning.

Give this slip to the casting director.

Now, listen... don't change your clothes.

Don't shave. Don't wash.

Leave that pan just as it is.

You mean I mustn't doll up.

That's it.

Say, buddy, I'm off-Duty tomorrow.

Can't you use me?

Ok. 7:00... made-Up as a cop.

Come on, Cliff.

Looks like things are looking up.

Yeah!

All right! Everybody on the set!

Don't look at me! I said, on the set!

Man: come on, fellas, let's go to work.

Second man: let's go!

Come on, boys!

Now, listen, everybody. This is very, very important.

I want your undivided attention.

Now, get this: this is a prison break scene.

When I give the signal, you all start work on this rock pile.

When I blow my whistle...

This prisoner will sock a guard.

- That's you. - OK

- Me? - Sure.

Yeah, you. You sock this guard. Do you understand?

Yeah.

Director: That's the signal for you all

to make a break for the walls.

Those guards up there will start firing.

And you... when you hit this guy, make it look real.

Let him have it right on the chin,

But pull your punch-- Don't hurt him.

Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?

Yeah.

Say, did you ever hit a guy on the chin?

Yeah, once.

All right, let's try it.

All right, let's take it.

Are you ready?

All ready.

Ok...start your action!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Hey, you, come here!

- Me? - Come here!

That was awful. Terrible!

The punch looked fakey. You missed him that far!

I thought you said you knew how to hit a guy.

Now, we'll take it again.

This time, put something into it. Make it look real.

Turn him around. Set him up for the punch.

Lay it in there. He can take it. Lay it in there!

Man: - Mr. Williams! - What is it?

We'd better get a doctor. This bird's out cold!

Man: Next.

All right, turn around.

Under the arms.

All ready! Everybody on the scene!

Come on, all you cowboys! All you indians!

All you settlers!

Come on, snap it up! Snap it up! Hurry up!

Get in places here!

Come on, boys-- Get rid of that lead, get rid of that lead!

Come on, come on, boys!

Are you ready?

Start your action!

Go! Come on!

Give it all you have got!

Ride! Ride!

Director: Give me the feeling! Give me the temper!

Give me the movement!

Attaboy! Come on!

Yeehaw! Attaboy!

Don't fall off of the horse!

You are the chief of the indians!

Come on! Attaboy!

Ok! Cut!

15 minutes for lunch.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

May I come in?

Yeah, sure, sure. Come right in, honey. Come right in.

Park it anyplace.

I, uh, hope I'm not intruding.

No, no, not at all.

You workin' in this horse opera, too?

Uh-Huh. What are you made up for?

Big chief estutmeveyumtuchis.

What language is that?

- Sioux. - Sioux?

Yeah-- Sioux you for anything.

Say, this racket's bunk, isn't it?

3 bucks, it ain't a box lunch that would kill a horse.

How long you been in it?

Oh, about 8 years.

8 years? And still doing extra work?

What's held you back?

Oh, that's all right, Marie, put it down here.

Say...

That's very nice. Very, very nice.

Bring me one of those, will ya?

Never mind.

Would you have some of this?

What's the matter? You on a diet?

- Oh, Miss Underwood? - Yes.

Oh. Could I see you a minute, please?

Well, the publicity department's waiting to take those fashion stills of you

For the new york fan magazines.

Oh, all right, George.

Would you send my chauffeur around about 4:00

To pick me up?

Ok. By the way, have you seen the new issue of Film Play?

No.

Nice picture of you on the cover there.

Very flattering. Thanks.

Well, good-Bye, Miss Underwood.

- Good-Bye. - What's the matter with me?

I never rapped to you-- You're Lois Underwood.

Mm-Hmm.

That blond wig and the sun bonnet sorta had me stumped.

If I'd known this was your place,

I wouldn't have busted in this way.

That's all right. Come on, let's eat.

No, no, no. I'll take this on outside.

I'll eat it there. Thanks very much, anyway.

Oh, no. I don't want to eat alone. Let's divide it.

Well...

You're certainly changing my idea

Of what movie stars were like.

I always thought they were sort of, well, you know,

- High-Hat. - Not me.

I consider myself lucky to have gotten where I am.

How'd you get started in this business, anyway?

Thanks.

I won a beauty contest in atlantic city.

A movie producer saw me in a one-Piece bathing suit, and, uh,

Gave me a screen test.

That guy was no fool.

He knew what he was doing.

Oh, no.

I just happened to get a good part.

The public seemed to like me, fan mail started coming in.

Could have happened to any girl.

I don't consider myself

Particularly beautiful or talented.

You underestimate yourself.

You've got everything the doctor ordered.

How long have you been in the business?

4 days--

Which just about makes me a supervisor.

Everybody on the set! On the set!

On the set! You, too!

That's me. I got to be going.

Well, thanks very much.

You know, you been so nice,

I've sort of forgotten all about the sore eppes.

Well, thanks again. Have I forgotten anything?

Oh, well, good-Bye. And thanks.

Good-Bye.

I tell you, we've got to have new faces in our pictures,

Especially new leading men.

The public is tired of these handsome, curly-Haired leading men.

They've got as much sex appeal as a clothing store dummy.

The rough-And-Ready type is what women go for nowadays.

Well, how about that young fella

Who did the bit in the prison scene?

He's been coming right along.

- You mean Quigley? - Yeah.

He's got possibilities.

Yes, and you should see the fan mail he's been getting.

Between 200 and 300 letters every week.

And after all, he's only played bits and small parts.

He gets that much fan mail?

Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you for over a month.

Here, listen to this--

Fan letter from a girl in Omaha.

"Why don't you feature Dan Quigley?

"If I could see him in every picture,

"You'd find me at the movies 7 nights a week.

"A group of my girlfriends are forming a Dan Quigley club.

"Please send a large, autographed photograph for our clubroom.

Very truly yours, Peggy Kelly."

This Kelly girl writes at least one letter every week!

Well, how many you got there now?

It's over 200.

Well, that ought to hold them for today.

Listen, tell you what to do--

Hop in your car and mail some from Long Beach,

Santa Monica, and Pasadena.

You know anybody in San Francisco or Portland or Seattle,

Those places?

Yeah, I got some friends up there.

All right, mail some to them, have them mail them back.

Hey... that gives me a hunch.

Isn't there some kind of club

that mails letters from all parts of the world?

Yeah, there's a mailing bureau for stamp collectors.

That's all I wanted to know. We're joining up.

I got to branch out on my fan mail.

Thanks a lot, darling. Don't bother to come in.

I'm in a terrific hurry.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!

You can't get away with that.

Go on, get out of here. I've got to get dressed.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute--

When am I gonna see you?

Tomorrow, about 4:00. I'm having open house.

- Why the open house? - Nothing special.

Tomorrow's my birthday.

Aha, we're having birthdays.

Well, I've got to get you something. What'll it be?

Oh, don't be silly. I don't take birthdays seriously.

Come on, don't give me that.

I've got to get you something. Now name it.

Well, if you insist, a cage full of monkeys.

Mm-Hmm. What else?

Oh, let me see-- Some tyrolean yodelers.

Yodelers in Hollywood? That's a cinch.

Now, may I suggest something big--

Something big and colossal?

I know. An elephant.

Bye, darling. See you tomorrow.

You'll be surprised.

Delivery man: One crate of monkeys for Miss Lois Underwood-- Sign here.

I beg your pardon, there must be some mistake.

We didn't order any monkeys.

We was told to deliver these monkeys,

Hot or cold.

I tell you, we didn't order any monkeys!

I just told you--

This monkey won't sign for these monkeys.

Oh, look at the cute little monkeys!

Oh, look at the monkeys!

Look! Look!

What's going on here?

Dan, you fool.

I was only kidding yesterday when I asked you to bring me monkeys.

I don't know from nothing.

I just took you at your word.

You asked for one dozen, so I got you two.

Will you take these things out of here?

Yes, madam.

I think you're being very unappreciative and silly.

Think of all the fun you could have with these things.

For heaven's sake, will someone please take these monkeys out of my house?

Hello, police department?

Please send help to 2411 Roxbury Hills drive--

We've got a house full of monkeys!

Oh! My word!

You've completely wrecked my house and ruined my party!

I don't know what you're complainin' about.

You asked for monkeys, and monkeys you got.

You asked for yodelers, and yodelers you got!

Aaah! Aah! Aah!

Ooooh!

Ooooh!

You've got to get these things out of here.

They're in my bedroom, in the bathroom, in the icebox!

They're all over the place!

- Beg your pardon, madam. - Yes?

There's a gentleman at the door with an elephant.

What's the matter, Dan? Something on your mind?

You're certainly not enjoying yourself.

No, as a matter of fact, I'm not.

Oh, it's nothing to do with you, darling.

No, it's that review that blair wrote on our last picture.

Have you seen it?

Yes, darling, but those things are written about everybody.

You shouldn't pay attention to them.

I don't as a general thing,

But this guy's gone out of his way to be nasty.

Here, get his first line:

"From slumdom to stardom."

He probably thought that was very clever.

I didn't mind that so much, he's done that before--

But here he takes a personal slap at you.

And then down here at the bottom,

He finishes off his column

With a cheap laugh at your expense.

That's what burned me up.

Forget it. You'll get that from now on.

You might as well get used to it.

Excuse me.

Mr. Blair.

Hello, Quigley.

Thought I'd come over and say hello.

Do you know Miss Johnson?

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Oh, Mr. Quigley,

Would you autograph this menu for me?

Be glad to. May I have your pencil?

Mr. Blair, may I speak to you for a moment, alone?

- Alone? - Uh-Huh.

There you are.

Oh, thank you.

Thanks, thanks so much.

You'll excuse us, won't you?

Surely.

Would you step into my office?

You wrote this review yourself, didn't you?

Certainly. My name's on it.

Why do you guys always try to be sensational

And make reputations for yourselves by filling your columns

With a lot of cheap, nasty drivel at the expense of other people?

I'll write what I like.

Yeah, write what you like,

But write it about motion pictures,

And lay off the private lives of the people in them.

I have a right to my opinion.

Sure you have a right to your opinion.

And I'm gonna let you keep it.

Know what you're gonna do?

You're gonna eat it.

Don't be silly.

Stay right where you are.

Now-- Open your mouth and close your eyes.

You can't get away with this.

Open your mouth.

Open!

Now chew.

Chew hard!

Now swallow.

Swallow!

All right, let me see.

All right.

I wish I had another one.

Come here.

Now, if you write any more cracks about Lois Underwood,

I'll cut your ears off and mail them to your folks.

What a cozy little place you have here.

Like it?

Oh, I do, very much. It's grand.

I had the interior decorator at the studio do it for me.

Of course, he did it all from my ideas, though.

Here's something I want to show you.

Come here.

A speakeasy. Care for that?

Oh, it's perfect.

- Cute, huh? - Uh-Huh.

We'll have a little drink

As soon as you've seen the rest of the shack.

Come on. There's something else I want to show you.

Oh, uh, you can't go in there now.

The decorator hasn't finished with it yet.

Oh, let me have a look. I might have some ideas.

No, no, it's all torn up.

The beds aren't even made or anything.

Don't be silly. I insist on having a look.

No, no-- Oh, please...

Yoo-Hoo!

Oh, I see.

Lovely decorations you have.

Oh, I know what you're thinking,

But if you'd just give me a chance to explain--

It's quite all right, Dan.

You don't have to explain anything to me.

I understand perfectly.

Your, uh, decorator's waiting for you.

Will you be reasonable? I can straighten this whole thing out.

But I tell you, I understand.

The bed isn't made. Good night.

And how did you get in here?

Easy. I gave the bellboy 5 bucks

And told him I was a friend of yours.

Moved in, huh?

Planning on staying awhile?

Mm-Hmm. I think it will be nice for both of us.

Aren't you gonna give me a hug?

Uh-Uh.

No, I don't see any point in it.

It's very pretty.

You know, you weren't very nice to me.

When they threw me in the cooler

And I had a chance to get out on bail, what did you do?

You skipped.

That was not a very nice thing to do.

I wouldn't have done that to you.

No, sir.

Not under any circumstances.

Don't change the subject.

So your old friends aren't good enough for you anymore, huh?

Let me give you a tip.

You know, I can change all this good luck of yours.

If I ever whisper in a cop's ear what I know about you...

Say...I think you better start being nice to mama.

Yeah?

You're still going out.

Aah!

Aaah! Aaah!

Aaah! Let me go!

You son--

Some gentlemen are outside to see you, sir.

Who are they?

I don't know, sir.

You don't know? And you let them in?

They walked right in, sir.

Walked right in?

Hello, Danny! How are you, my boy?

- How are you, Dan? - Hello, Dan.

Hello, Duke. Spade.

Glad to see you.

- Smiley. - Dan.

You should have passed this fruit, spade. Where are your manners?

No, let me help you.

- Duke? [Duke] - Thank you.

You like fruit, that I know.

Nice little place you have here, Dan.

You've been doing all right for yourself.

Yeah, doing all right, spade. Doing all right.

Looking swell, Dan.

Cute little mustache you got.

We been reading all about you in the fan magazines.

Hmm. Friend of yours?

You been rubbin' noses with

All the big shots in the picture business.

Well, call it noses if you like.

Can I get you a drink? Miss Gale?

Please.

Duke? You have yours. Spade, right.

Imagine our little Danny,

Being invited to all the swell weekend parties at malibu beach.

And the big social doings in Beverly Hills.

I'll bet you never get out of that soup and fish.

Couldn't you arrange to get some of your old friends

To look in at one of them shindigs?

We'd like to see the sights.

Oh, no. That would be impossible, Smiley.

If the cops got one look at me with you guys, I'd be sunk.

Oh, we know that.

We wouldn't want to see that happen to you.

We're proud of you.

We're always glad to see a pal make good.

Now listen, Dan,

What Smiley meant was this:

We thought maybe you could invite us

To the homes of the movie stars

So we could, kind of... look around?

And with an introduction from you,

That would be all we'd need.

Uh-Huh.

An introduction from me, huh?

Well, now, listen to this,

And listen carefully.

I've been doing all right in this movie racket,

And I'm still on the climb.

And I did it all myself without any help from you.

When I did need your help, and needed it badly,

What did you do? You blew town with my 5,000 bucks!

Well, I don't need you now!

So my advice to you is to get out of town, and get out quick!

Duke: wait a minute, wait a minute!

We're gonna stay right here and operate,

And you're gonna help us and like it!

You're gonna play ball with us,

Or we'll bust your bubble so quick it'll make your head spin.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh. There's nothing I can do about it, huh?

Well, I'm tellin' all 4 of ya to haul your freight,

Or I'll have the cops on your neck in two minutes!

Go on, get out of here!

The cops will have as much on you as they have on us,

We'll see to that.

You better see it our way, Dan.

Well... I'll tell you what I'll do.

I've got 10 grand. That's all I have in the world.

You can take it all if you promise me one thing.

What is it?

That you'll get out of town and stay out.

We'll take you up on that--

Just as a favor to an old pal.

You mean for auld lang syne?

Yeah.

Uh-Huh.

Uh, where would you like us to go from here?

Need I say?

Thank you, Dan.

When are you leaving?

Soon as we cash the check.

Mm-Hmm.

- Good-Bye. - Bye, dear.

- Bye, Danny. - So long, Dan.

If you ever come back east, look us up.

Good morning, lady Agatha.

You're looking very lovely this morning.

Are you feeling any better after last night?

Hmm. You're not.

Oh, come on, now. Be reasonable, will ya?

And give a guy a chance to explain?

Will you please go away?

I don't know how that dame got into my bed.

I threw her out two minutes after you left.

Will you believe me? She doesn't mean anything to me.

I tell you, I don't want to hear anymore about her.

And please, please, go away!

All right.

If that's the way you feel about it.

I'm sorry.

Now let us think of your characterization.

You're a lovely english lady of charm and sweetness.

You are married, and you have taken to yourself a lover--

An italian lover that has swept you off your feet.

He is in your thoughts even now.

You are expecting him to come to see you in this lovely garden.

You're thrilled to think that he'll be near you.

Presently, he enters.

As he comes towards you, you rush into his arms,

And he seizes you in a tight embrace.

He has just come from dinner given him by his countrymen.

The food is heavily seasoned

With a lot of spices and garlic.

Lots of garlic!

By the first kiss, you are overcome by the odor.

The second kiss, romance and love fly out of the window.

And on the third kiss, you want to go back to your husband.

Now, that's the scene we going to take.

- Property man! - Yes, sir.

Give me a piece of garlic, quick.

You're not going to use real garlic?

Yes, real garlic.

In all my pictures, everything must be real!

Here's your garlic.

Thank you.

Are you ready? We'll take it.

Light the moon!

Are you ready?

Start your action!

Does your husband know?

He suspects nothing.

Oh, darling,

We can't go on like this.

If I but knew that you love me,

I might have the courage to carry on.

But to see you for so short a time

Brings torture to my heart.

I live only for you.

I breathe only for you.

Darling! Why do you turn away?

Oh, do tell me that you love me.

It's-- It's all so sudden.

I can hardly speak.

You cry?

When we are so happy?

It's the moonlight.

The fragrance of the night.

It overwhelms me.

Cut! Very good!

Hey, look at that.

Spade: come on. We're going to learn something.

All right, mister.

How do you do. Can I show you around?

Yes. We sort of thought we'd like to see the homes of the film stars

before we go back east.

We're from Youngstown, Ohio.

Is that so?

I can show you the houses of all the picture stars.

They all live in beverly hills.

Any particular one you'd like to see?

No, no, we just thought we'd like to see them all.

My kid sister here just got out of boarding school.

She's kind of sweet on dick bottomless.

Ain't you, sis?

Well, all the girls at school are.

Bunch of tourists I took out this morning

Got a flash of Lupe Alvarez... taking a sunbath.

- Yeah? - Come on.

Guide: Pardon me.

Hi.

Hello, Joe. I thought that touch was familiar.

You know anything about this?

Why ask me?

Well, this job has all the earmarks

Of that gang you were mixed up with in New York.

I don't know a thing.

I've got it pretty straight that Spade Maddock

And Duke and Smiley are in town.

And I've got a hunch that some fingerman is tipping them off.

Have you seen any of them?

Nope.

Do you know where they're hiding out?

Same answer.

I think you're lying!

You know more than you're telling.

Now, listen-- You had me on the carpet a year ago.

I told you then I was on the level. Well, I still am!

Now lay off me, will ya?

All right.

No need to get sore about it.

Mind if I tell you how sweet you look?

Calling car 61, calling car 61--

Go to Sunset and Harper, pick up a drunk.

He's annoying passersby. That is all.

Who is it?

Telegram.

Well, how do you do.

Where are they?

Where's who?

Calling all cars, calling all cars--

Investigate holdup at 2411 roxbury hills drive.

See Miss Lois Underwood. Bandits escaped in buick sedan.

Color black, yellow wheels. License number 5-J,

"J" like in june, 4651.

Take no chances, the bandits are armed.

That is all.

Ha! It was a cinch.

Duke: worth 15 grand if it's worth a nickel.

Get over there.

Come on!

Back up. Put that down.

I thought youse said you were leaving town.

I believe there was some talk about that.

Uh-Huh?

We made an agreement!

And you didn't keep it!

Well, this is a showdown.

With you guys in town, i'm due to take a fall.

I'm not gonna take it alone!

Wrap that up.

Wrap it up!

Give it to me.

I'm gonna return this.

And then I'm coming back.

And if you're still here, it's gonna be you or me!

Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't want me!

You want those guys in there! You're wasting a lot of time!

Come over here, you.

Come on!

All right, all right, I admit all that.

You found me in their joint with a gun in my hand.

But I tell ya, I had nothing to do with the job!

But this stolen stuff was found in your possession.

I admit that, too!

But I was just trying to return it to Miss Underwood.

Miss Underwood,

Was this man at your house this evening?

No, I left him at the studio. He was to join me later.

Then you don't know where he was at that time?

No.

With your past record and early connection with this mob--

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

I have no record.

Get that through your thick copper nut!

I know what your trouble is--

You're looking for someone to take a fall.

Because those other guys were too fast for you and got away,

You're tryin' to pin it onto me!

Well, you're not gonna get away with it!

I'll spend every nickel I've got to beat it!

Listen, Quigley, you're under arrest.

And you're in this mess up to your neck.

This stuff was found on you,

And one of my men was killed trying to round up your gang.

That's enough for us.

Lock him up!

Thompson-- Stop all advertising,

Exploitation, and publicity on Quigley.

Prepare a statement for the press

Explaining the attitude of this company.

We can't afford to back up Quigley in a scandal like this.

But we've got to stand by him, we've got to help him.

Now listen, Lois, it's no use.

Now you stay away from him,

Or you'll be dragged into the mess.

It'll ruin your career.

I don't care. His bond is $10,000,

And I'm going to put it up.

Hey.

Get a load of this.

We've got to stop that guy from spilling his guts to the D.A.

But if he squawks,

He's only gonna make it tougher on himself.

What's he got to lose? He's all washed up in the picture business.

He'll do anything to get even.

If he talks and gives the police the lowdown,

It's curtains for all of us.

I'm telling you, we've got to shut his mouth.

But he's in the can.

How you gonna shut his mouth?

His bail's set for 10 grand, ain't it?

Yeah.

We'll do him a favor.

Bail him out and knock him off.

What? Kick in with 10 grand of our hard-Earned dough

Just to knock a guy off?

- That don't make sense! - Shut up, you dope.

It's worth that to keep out of any jail.

You're getting some fresh air, Dan.

Somebody just put up bail for you.

Who was it?

I don't know. Friend of yours out there.

Uh-Huh.

That's him.

Hello, Dan.

You put up my bail?

No, I didn't, but Myra did.

Uh-Huh. Why?

Oh, I don't know. I guess she had her reasons.

Where's Duke and Spade?

Oh, they blew town. They couldn't stand the heat.

But Myra's outside waiting for you.

Uh-Huh. I see.

Tell you what you do--

You go on, go ahead.

I'll be with you in a few minutes.

All right.

What'd he say?

Everything is OK. He's coming right out.

Hi, Dan.

Well, very nice of you to do this for me.

But why?

Come on, get in. I'll tell you all about it.

Oh, I'm to go with you?

Yeah. Come on.

You're sure you want me to get in the car with you?

- Of course. Why not? - I don't know.

I just sort of had the feeling you didn't like me anymore.

Oh, quit it, Dan. Come on and get in.

I'll tell you all about it as we go along.

Oh? All right.

Say, uh,

You still crazy about that Lois Underwood?

Sure I am. Why?

Nothing, I just wondered.

I'm sorry, Miss Underwood.

He was released about 5 minutes ago.

I think some friends bailed him out.

Oh.

Dan...

Yeah?

I got to tell you something.

Go ahead, what is it?

Of course you know you're going for a ride.

Yeah, I thought so.

I'm not kidding.

The gang's following us in that black sedan.

When we get out on the highway,

They're gonna haul you out and let you have it.

Mm-Hmm. Why are you tipping me off?

I just don't want to see you get it.

You know what this means to you, don't you? Putting me wise?

Sure. They'll give it to me, too.

Well, don't worry. They're not gonna give it to anybody.

They're walking right into it themselves.

What do you mean?

I figured they'd try to pull something like this.

So I tipped off the cops.

There's a whole carload of them right back there,

Behind spade and the boys.

Come on. We'll give them a run for their money.

Let me have that wheel.

Look at that! She's tipped him off!

Come on, Lou, step on it!

There's a carload of bulls tailing us.

We've been framed!

All right, Smiley!

You all right? You sure?

Come on, duck!

You hold this end. I'll take care of the cops.

Drop it, spade!

Come on, drop it!

All right, now reach.

High!

Happy?

Terribly. But why are we going to yuma to get married?

Why not Hollywood?

Darling, you seem to forget,

California law requires that

you wait 3 days after you take out a license

before you get married.

I can't wait that long.