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1
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,810
Wow.
2
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Hi.
3
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:40,170
- Hi!
- Hello. Hi.
4
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,346
- Hi. Hello. Welcome.
- We're on a holiday.
5
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,566
Ally and Paul, Paul and Ally.
6
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,134
We're Ally, and they're Paul.
I'm P--He's Paul.
7
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:52,878
I had some Valiums,
um, for the... flying
8
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and some Malbec, which is
red wine. I like wine.
9
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,708
Yes.
10
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,319
- Okay?
- Yeah!
11
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,190
Okay. Uh, surname is Worsley.
12
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,539
Sorry. Yes.
13
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,150
- It's all right.
- That's our name.
14
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:08,329
Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Worsley.
I see you've booked three rooms.
15
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,417
- Yes. Now...
- Yes.
16
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,114
I did email ahead about this.
17
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,421
Uh, we were originally gonna be
traveling with our two children.
18
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,945
You know, they're called
Ava and Luke, yeah.
19
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,948
And Ava's doing some work
experience at a biomedical lab.
20
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,993
- Because she's very clever.
- Yeah.
21
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:23,735
And Luke is, um...
22
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,172
- He's having a baby.
- Yeah.
23
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,390
But we don't wanna talk
about that.
24
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,957
Yeah, but, uh, anyway,
I just wonder,
25
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,438
is there any chance of a refund
on the two rooms?
26
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,831
- Please?
- Uh...
27
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:36,008
I'm very sorry, Mr. Worsley,
28
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,228
but the package you booked
is non-refundable.
29
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,925
Fair enough.
Thanks for checking. Uh...
30
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:41,275
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I booked it
31
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,667
18 months ago when things
were slightly less, uh...
32
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,495
- Bleh.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:47,890
Oh, what I cando
as a goodwill gesture
34
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,153
is upgrade you
to our presidential suite.
35
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,807
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
36
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,461
- Presidential.
- Hey, yeah.
37
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,027
- Presidential.
- You keep saying it.
38
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:58,030
I hope
it's Obama and not Trump
39
00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:00,163
or the Watery-gate one
with the jowls.
40
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,599
- Mm.
- I didn't like him.
41
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,428
Where are you... Okay.
Right, um...
42
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,866
Hi! Hello! Are you
on holiday? I'm on holiday.
43
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:11,131
Um... maybe send up some coffee
or... or a drugs counselor.
44
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,697
Hi!
45
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,786
- Let me get you your keys.
- Great, thank you.
46
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,613
- She'll be fine, though.
- Um... Yeah.
47
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,137
I'll keep an eye on her.
48
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,051
- Breakfast is from 7 a.m...
- Uh-huh.
49
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,662
- ...in the Odysseus Restaurant.
- Okay, yeah.
50
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:23,186
- Outside on our south terrace.
- Brilliant. Thank you very much.
51
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,666
- You're welcome.
- Um... um...
52
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,148
Hi! I'm Ally.
Oh! That is...
53
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,631
Oh, shit.
54
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:36,460
- Oh.
- Um...
55
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,245
And there's a bar.
There's a bar.
56
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,986
- There's a bar.
- Okay.
57
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:43,902
Look at that lovely bit
of jewelry.
58
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,513
- Free things!
- Oh, my God.
59
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:48,385
- Wow.
- This is fucking mad.
60
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,213
Oh, there's a...
there... there are stairs.
61
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,128
- I'm gonna check out the stairs.
- Please don't.
62
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,912
Not in your... current... state.
63
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,914
Let me go and do that.
64
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,438
I'll report back.
65
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,704
Wow!
66
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,707
Hello, my people.
67
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:09,101
There's stone pineapples
out here, Paul!
68
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,016
- Hon. Hon.
- Yeah?
69
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,757
There's a Jacuzzi
in our bathroom.
70
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,672
- No.
- Yeah, it... it's really big.
71
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:15,934
I think it's probably tidal.
72
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,372
Oh, my God.
I feel like a rock star.
73
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,721
That's 'cause
you're off your face.
74
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,418
- All right, I'm coming up.
- Honestly, hon,
75
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,159
- please be careful.
- I don't need to be careful.
76
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:28,164
Ohh.
77
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,604
- Well...
- Well...
78
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,432
You know, there's nothing
like a... a hotel room
79
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,955
just pressuring you
to have sex.
80
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,784
Yeah, it is. It's... It is
begging for sex, isn't it?
81
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,221
Yeah. Coming on a bit strong,
isn't it?
82
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:44,746
Yeah, definitely.
Back off, room. Shh.
83
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,800
- How long has it been?
- I don't know.
84
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,628
Five months.
85
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,891
Listen, we shouldn't be
too hard on ourselves.
86
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,416
- About what?
- About the, mm, dry spell.
87
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,113
It's been
a really difficult few months.
88
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:07,247
Yeah. Who knew that becoming
grandparents wasn't a turn-on?
89
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:12,121
'Cause it's really weird
without them here, isn't it?
90
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,863
It is, yeah. On the other hand,
we have bagged
91
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,691
the David Bowie suite
at no extra cost.
92
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,780
Do you think that David Bowie
actually stayed here?
93
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,999
I definitely do. Yes, I do.
94
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,524
He was a very big fan on
all-inclusive package holidays.
95
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,526
- He loved them.
- Same with Bolan.
96
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,442
Lou Reed--more of a--
I don't know, campsite guy.
97
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,662
- Oh, man.
- Mm.
98
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,273
We should get going, you know?
'Cause, uh, we booked
99
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:35,231
- that tour for 2:00.
- Mm.
100
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,928
Hmm.
101
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,808
Good. That's... That's helpful.
102
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,205
Did it definitely say 2:00?
103
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,685
Yeah, I checked
the confirmation.
104
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,208
It's 2:00, hon.
105
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:04,086
Oh, uh, it's Luke.
106
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,436
He said that Ava's having
a great day at the lab.
107
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,829
- Mm-hmm.
- But she's very busy
108
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,439
and that they're gonna
get takeaway later.
109
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,050
- Maya is craving Italian.
- Ah, great.
110
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,138
- Aw.
- See?
111
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,792
- See what?
- They're fine.
112
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,881
I... I didn't think they were
gonna get murdered, Paul.
113
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,579
I just wanted to touch base.
114
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,756
Look, no one wishes they were
here more than I do, hon.
115
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,062
This was gonna be our last...
116
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,673
big... I don't know.
117
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:27,370
Big family holiday together.
118
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,676
Well, yeah. You...
You don't think, do you,
119
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,068
when the kids are little,
that you've got
120
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,244
a finite amount
of family holidays together,
121
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,811
but it turns out you have,
and it seems like
122
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,292
we might have had our last one
without even realizing it.
123
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,338
Yeah.
124
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,688
Oh. There he is. Hi.
125
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,124
You for the tour?
126
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,734
Uh, yes. For Worsley.
127
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,434
- Oh.
- Four of you?
128
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,828
Uh, no, it's just... just two
of us 'cause our daughter Ava...
129
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,917
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't matter. Yeah.
130
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,355
I won't go into... into that.
Yeah.
131
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,140
- So, two of you, then?
- Yeah.
132
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,968
No one else has booked?
133
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,448
- No.
- Ah.
134
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,538
- We'll start with the exterior.
- Oh. It's happening.
135
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:07,628
The tower
was completed in 1637.
136
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:12,023
It's 11 meters high with,
as you can see, a square base...
137
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,764
- Mm-hmm.
- ...and two levels.
138
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,637
Access to the upper floors
was originally by means
139
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,117
- of a wooden ladder.
- Uh-huh.
140
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,858
Just be aware
there's no photography
141
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,294
allowed inside the tower.
142
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:25,254
Oh, sorry. Yeah, of course.
143
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,256
This is one of
the surviving eight towers
144
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,693
of an original 13
that were built to enhance
145
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:33,393
and expand the town's existing
system of coastal defense.
146
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,396
- We will see all eight today.
- Very good.
147
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,443
- Will we? Eight?
- Eight.
148
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,444
- Okay.
- Where you are?
149
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,926
Uh...
150
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,581
- You all right?
- Uh, can't find the keys.
151
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:52,237
The next tower
we will explore had repair work
152
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:55,850
in the mid-19th century
that revealed the foundations
153
00:06:55,893 --> 00:07:00,942
of the Church of St. Agatha,
destroyed in 1075.
154
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,465
Care to guess
what might have been
155
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,945
the cause of that destruction?
156
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,512
Damp.
157
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,994
Uh, asteroids? Oh, no, that was
the dinosaurs, wasn't it?
158
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:11,387
Um, fire?
159
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,346
Yes. It was a big fire.
160
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,435
Oh.
161
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,046
Follow me.
162
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,657
He's a fucking laugh, isn't he?
163
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,616
It's like being shown around
by that bloke from Up.
164
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,314
Oh, hello, hello.
165
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,708
- Taxi.
- Oh. Are you serious?
166
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:30,188
No, he's serious. I'm sensible.
167
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,713
- Should we... s...
- In addition to this,
168
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:36,760
she is the patron saint of...
169
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:37,761
- Get on the driver.
- I'm gonna... okay.
170
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,981
I'm gonna go the other side.
171
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,635
Hi.
172
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,114
Hi. Xara Palace Hotel, please.
173
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,856
You booked? Jameson?
174
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,163
Um, yes. Yeah, yeah, that, um...
175
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,860
- Yep.
- We are Mr. And Mrs. Jameson.
176
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,992
- Mrs. Jame-- Jameson.
- Thank you for waiting for us.
177
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:54,517
- Thanks for waiting.
- Ahh.
178
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,040
- Excuse me.
- Oh, that's the way to do that.
179
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,477
- Oh, fuck, it's their taxi.
- Excuse me.
180
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,565
Um, let's go.
I think we can go now.
181
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,131
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's...
182
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:01,916
- That's definitely ours?
- Yeah, that's our taxi.
183
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:02,960
Hey! What...
184
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,703
Bastards!
185
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:09,184
- Massive bastards.
- Why?
186
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,541
We'd have made
a great Bonnie and Clyde.
187
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,761
Yeah, as long as someone
pre-booked the getaway car.
188
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,198
Right, so, what next?
Should we, uh, take a tour
189
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,156
of the old town square
and then shoot up a bank?
190
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,289
No, let's... let's save
something for tomorrow, baby.
191
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,769
- Aw.
- Um...
192
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,248
Why don't we hit the pool
193
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,815
and drink cocktails
all afternoon?
194
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:35,384
Now, you, Mr. Worsley,
you know how to holiday.
195
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,307
Oh, no.
196
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:49,050
I think this has
blue cheese in it.
197
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,312
Oh. I didn't even think
about that.
198
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,532
Oh, shit.
199
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,490
Do you think
you can take it out?
200
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,145
How? By washing the pasta?
201
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,321
Um, well, you can...
you can share mine.
202
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,496
There's at least enough
for three in there.
203
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,453
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
204
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,635
Thanks.
205
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,288
It's okay.
206
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,433
Mm.
207
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,582
Shut the fuck up, mate.
208
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,281
What's wrong?
209
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:48,239
It's not their section,
is it, hon?
210
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,807
- Paul, it's not the Titanic.
- Mm.
211
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,504
It's the adults-only pool,
though, innit?
212
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:56,639
It's not the "adults, only,
it's the kids, actually" pool.
213
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:57,814
How long have
you been working on that?
214
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,600
About a minute.
215
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,776
Look, let's just try and relax.
216
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,299
- Okay?
- Yeah, very relaxing, innit?
217
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,779
Fucking American Sniper
over there.
218
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,390
Fucking menace.
219
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,451
You enjoying this?
220
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,366
This relaxing you?
221
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,673
Should we go for a swim?
222
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:33,589
I considered it, but...
223
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,243
I don't know.
224
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,419
Don't want to upstage
Premier League Ken over there
225
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,116
with my front crawl.
226
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,031
You're not actually
self-conscious, are you?
227
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,772
You look great.
228
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,470
Anyway, look, that guy's got
his top off, doesn't he?
229
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:48,082
Aside from the fact
that we've both got nipples,
230
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,518
I hope you don't think
we're that similar.
231
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:50,954
- No, I'm not say...
- Fuck me.
232
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,739
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying that you're
233
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,132
allowed to have your top off.
234
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,178
No one would be judging you.
235
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,528
Sorry, let... let me...
let me just be clear.
236
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,530
- Everyone would be judging me.
- Oh.
237
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:04,838
Right? Judging people is
what human beings do best.
238
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,883
There's a little thing called
the internet they like to use.
239
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,499
- That's it, innit?
- Whoo!
240
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,154
We're the old people
round the pool now, fucking...
241
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,417
That is a bit bleak, isn't it?
Come on.
242
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,724
I guarantee you, babe,
you ask any of these fuckers.
243
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,639
That is what we are.
244
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,338
We're the aging parents at best,
245
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:30,254
the people who you bring round
to bleed your radiators
246
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,603
and lend you money.
247
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,954
Christ, I am really,
very, very sorry
248
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:37,131
that I pointed
at an elderly topless man.
249
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,567
It won't happen again.
250
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,658
We really should bleed
the radiator.
251
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,226
It's such a drag.
252
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,884
Oh, shitting hell,
it's the taxi couple.
253
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,842
- Fuck.
- Fuck.
254
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:54,278
- Just look away. Look away.
- No, I...
255
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:56,454
- They won't...
- Can we get...
256
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,673
- Just play deaf. Play deaf.
- It's too late, too late.
257
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892
It's not going to be...
258
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,285
Oh, thanks.
Leave me to deal with it.
259
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:05,420
- Sorry, mate.
- Huh?
260
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,987
Do you mind
if we take these chairs?
261
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,294
Yeah, uh, yeah, of course.
262
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,687
Just, uh, yeah.
Yours for the taking.
263
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,862
- Go for it.
- Cheers.
264
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,038
- No worries.
- I'm Jameson.
265
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,475
Oh, uh, Paul. My wife, Ally.
266
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,477
Hey, I thought
that was your surname--
267
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,523
I thought that's, um,
just a very unusual first name.
268
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:24,265
Yeah, yeah, me dad
really loves whisky.
269
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,919
- Oh.
- Oh.
270
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,964
- Uh, this is me wife, Kirsty.
- Hi, Kirsty.
271
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,357
- Hi, Kirsty.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
272
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:35,798
They're
in the wrong section.
273
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,931
Yes, they are. Thank you.
274
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,020
Voice of sanity.
275
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,065
- It's not right, though.
- Yeah, I know.
276
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,154
- Someone should have a word.
- Mm.
277
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,340
- Oh?
- Excuse me, Jameson.
278
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,135
Oh, gosh.
279
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,354
Don't fight the man.
280
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,967
Oh, you're not
fighting the man.
281
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,231
Excuse me. Could you
just ask these people
282
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,668
to take their kids away? It is
the adults-only pool, so...
283
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,149
Thank you.
284
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,117
- Oh, really?
- What does it matter?
285
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,034
Why do we have to...
286
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,997
- Nice one.
- Thank you.
287
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,825
Very good.
288
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,956
Ah.
289
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,918
Anyone for a drink?
290
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,923
Oh, God, I'm so jealous.
So cool you guys live in London.
291
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:58,794
- Yes, it is, innit?
- Yeah, we're very grateful.
292
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,535
Yeah.
293
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,102
Another round?
294
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,451
Uh, looks like they're
closing up, isn't it?
295
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:04,887
Oh, shit, yeah. We are...
296
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,715
- We are the last people here.
- Oh.
297
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:09,326
Well, I guess we should
probably call it a night.
298
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,938
- Yeah.
- So glad we met you guys.
299
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,548
We were worried it was gonna
be all families, you know?
300
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,376
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, right.
301
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,900
Stupid families. Who needs 'em?
302
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,119
- Had a really nice evening.
- Yeah, that was great.
303
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,337
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
304
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,252
- Lovely.
- See you guys soon.
305
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:23,950
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
306
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,908
Ah.
307
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:26,691
Are you good to make
a move, babe?
308
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,171
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
309
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,999
- That was really nice.
- Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
310
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,654
Yeah, I like them.
311
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,004
He's got, uh, big arms.
312
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,614
- Ooh.
- What?
313
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,312
That's not our key,
'cause I've got our key.
314
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:41,924
Okay. Oh, shit. Is it theirs?
Must be theirs.
315
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,752
- Uh, okay.
- What?
316
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:47,060
You don't think... that when
they said, "See you guys soon,"
317
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,279
- that that was... No.
- No.
318
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,715
- No, no, no, no.
- No.
319
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,806
- Or... no!
- Okay.
320
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,156
- No.
- No.
321
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,940
- Hi.
- Yes?
322
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,637
Uh, just wanted
to return this key.
323
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,596
Oh! Thank God. We're looking
for that everywhere.
324
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,337
- Oh. Okay. Sorry about that.
- Cheers.
325
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,599
- Yeah.
- See you around.
326
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:05,513
Yeah, yeah. Good night.
Take care.
327
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,865
Nah.
328
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:20,963
Okay, so if that had been
a... a real invitation,
329
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:25,446
a sexy invitation,
a sex-tation...
330
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:28,623
I don't like
where this is heading.
331
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,407
No, I'm serious.
Would you ever...
332
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,150
So, is this a test?
'Cause I'm... I'm...
333
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:37,849
I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna fail it.
334
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,590
Why, would you?
335
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:40,722
Mm...
336
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,859
I suppose I always just thought
that it was something
337
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:51,080
- that older couples did...
- Mm.
338
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,952
...once they got bored
of each other.
339
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,954
Right, right,
so not for us, then.
340
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,305
Hey.
341
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:21,937
You okay?
342
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,678
I'll be okay. I just need to...
343
00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,506
sit up for a bit.
344
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,078
It's so quiet here.
345
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,993
- Yeah. No, it's great, isn't it?
- Yeah.
346
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,562
Shit.
347
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,347
Smooth.
348
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,653
Always graceful.
I did ballet for four years.
349
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,481
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
350
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,048
- No, you... Seriously?
- Yeah.
351
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,790
Okay, that's ridiculous.
How did I not know that?
352
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,531
Oh, 'cause I'm a woman
of hidden depths
353
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:51,836
- and endless mystery.
- Oh.
354
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,186
So, what else
don't I know about you?
355
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:54,709
Oh, no, actually,
I think ballet's...
356
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:55,927
Just joking again.
357
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,668
Oh, my God.
358
00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,409
We forgot to check back in
with the kids again last night.
359
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,021
Yeah, well, you know,
we were sort of busy.
360
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:06,503
Mm. Yeah, maybe it's...
maybe it's a good thing.
361
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:09,158
Before we know it, we'll be back
to being a two-man band again.
362
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,595
Yeah, still feels weird, eh?
363
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:12,944
Mm.
364
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,076
- I'm gonna come back for coffee.
- Okay.
365
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,686
- Oh.
- Hey!
366
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,297
- Oh!
- Oh! Hi.
367
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,602
Look at us
with our holiday friends.
368
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:27,002
Ha!
369
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,135
Hon...
370
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,398
- there is genuinely no point.
- There is!
371
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,964
There's genuinely no point
in playing.
372
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,270
- It's more fun.
- Thank you very much.
373
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,272
I can't help
my amazing strength.
374
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,753
- Can you not?
- You got to really whack it,
375
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:40,494
or the ball won't respect you.
376
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,278
- Is that right?
- Yes!
377
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,846
- Oh, it's Luke.
- Oh!
378
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,413
Hey, mate. Everything all right?
379
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,111
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, it's fine.
380
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,506
Yeah, just... just be careful.
I mean, not too careful.
381
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,248
- Try and hit the speed limit.
- Tell him I love him.
382
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:58,903
Yes, I will.
And she sends hers, yeah.
383
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,820
All righty, I love you, mate.
Speak soon. Bye-bye.
384
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,779
He just wants to take Maya
somewhere in the car.
385
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,128
Oh, that's sweet.
386
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,261
Okay, so, nice volley, okay?
387
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:11,002
Just a nice, simple...
388
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:13,440
Fuck me, right? I mean,
like, who's over there?
389
00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:14,963
Go and get it.
390
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,269
Don't drown.
391
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,758
Um...
392
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,283
- Can we...
- Yeah.
393
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,512
So, you know the, um,
the course that I applied to
394
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,471
the Manchester one,
the long shot?
395
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,168
- Of course. Your dream course.
- Yeah.
396
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:49,128
- Uh-huh.
- I, uh, I got a place, and...
397
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:52,435
Lukey. Oh, my God.
That's... That's amazing!
398
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,611
You star! Wait, why...
399
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,047
Why didn't you
tell me this earlier?
400
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,267
Well, I've been thinking
about it a lot,
401
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:01,227
and, you know, I really wanna
be there for you and the baby.
402
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,880
Nothing's more important.
403
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,882
This course could change
everything for you.
404
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,756
I don't wanna change things.
I wanna be with you.
405
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,193
Yeah, and you will be,
just not in the same city.
406
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,674
Oh, you... you really
can't turn this down.
407
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:18,113
- I already have.
- What?
408
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,072
I emailed them saying
that I'm declining my place.
409
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:22,770
- Have you gone mad?
- Well, I... I...
410
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,467
I did it for us.
I did it for all three of us.
411
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,600
I can't believe
you've done this.
412
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,950
And I can't believe
you're reacting like this.
413
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:31,344
I don't want you to miss out
on an amazing opportunity.
414
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,955
Yeah, and I'm willing to give
it up for you and the baby.
415
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:36,871
Mm, no, don't make it
my responsibility, my fault,
416
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:38,394
if you end up regretting it!
417
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,266
Do you see how bad
that would be for me?
418
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,789
- No! I don't!
- You don't?
419
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,225
No, I genuinely don't!
420
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,401
Look, I don't wanna keep
421
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,229
banging on about
the pan-fried rabbit.
422
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,013
- But...
- You bloody loved that rabbit.
423
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:52,539
I just wanna know how do they
make food taste like that?
424
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:53,714
Magic and loads of salt
and butter.
425
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,281
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
426
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,586
It's been a really good day,
hasn't it?
427
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,458
- Yeah.
- No screaming children
428
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,242
in the adults' pool earlier.
That was all down to you, Paul.
429
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,983
- Well...
- You badass.
430
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,593
Well, I'm just a concerned
citizen doing my little bit.
431
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:04,725
- Yeah.
- You know, I don't...
432
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,118
I don't seek recognition
for that.
433
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,426
Maybe a small, simple
gold statue of myself
434
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,167
over by the towels,
but nothing more, honestly.
435
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,952
- Nothing more.
- It was a lot more peaceful.
436
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:16,693
[Kirsty[ Oh, parents
can't expect their kids
437
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,129
to have the run
of the whole hotel.
438
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,828
- Exactly.
- People can be so entitled.
439
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:23,134
- Yeah.
- You know, two arseholes
440
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,266
stole our taxi yesterday when
we were coming from the beach.
441
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,702
- Oh, yeah.
- Just took it.
442
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,269
We were waiting around
for hours.
443
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,924
- Oh, no.
- That's just awful.
444
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,273
Yeah.
445
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,710
Does, uh, anyone fancy
a nightcap?
446
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,886
Hey, there's karaoke
at the bar tonight.
447
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,062
- There was a notice up.
- I don't know if I fancy that.
448
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:39,455
- Uh...
- I was thinking a quiet drink.
449
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:42,066
Yeah, w-well, we could...
we could go up to ours.
450
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:45,113
Oh, yeah, we're... we're...
we're in the presidential suite.
451
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,636
Oh, my God. You're in a suite.
452
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,030
- That is epic. What's it like?
- It's lovely.
453
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:50,423
Do you know what?
No, it's not lovely.
454
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,381
- It is amazing.
- No, it's absolutely ridiculous.
455
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,296
It's way too good for us,
but, um, yeah.
456
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,124
You'd be welcome
to come up for a drink.
457
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,604
- Sure.
- Yeah.
458
00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,127
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
459
00:20:59,170 --> 00:20:59,954
- Yeah, we'd love to.
- Great, well, let's do it.
460
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,825
Yeah.
461
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:04,306
- Ooh.
- Ta-da!
462
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,483
Oh!
463
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:10,051
- Oh, my fucking God.
- Yeah.
464
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,140
Nice. Very presidential.
465
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:13,533
Yeah, it's quite something,
isn't it?
466
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:15,578
Would anyone like
presidential champagne?
467
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:16,797
- Yes, please.
- Oh!
468
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,711
- Yes, please.
- Thank you.
469
00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:20,757
- Coming right up.
- Wow.
470
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:24,283
Um... do you
mind if I use your bathroom?
471
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,719
Oh, yeah, it's just
on the next level.
472
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:27,373
Okay.
473
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:38,122
Oh, hon, they both go upstairs?
474
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,168
- Yes, weirdly.
- Hmm.
475
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,996
Oh, would you get
some glasses on, please?
476
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:44,128
- Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
477
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,481
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
478
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:57,228
Are they having a bath?
479
00:21:58,926 --> 00:22:00,928
I think we're all gonna
have a bath.
480
00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:21,992
Look at it.
481
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,869
How long do we have to wait?
482
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,218
God knows.
483
00:22:31,785 --> 00:22:34,918
Is it faster or slower when
it's two people instead of four?
484
00:22:34,962 --> 00:22:37,225
I've never had a foursome.
485
00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:39,227
- Have you not?
- No.
486
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:41,403
Well, that's that and the ballet
that I know about now.
487
00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:45,407
Oh, I hope they don't
steal all our stuff.
488
00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:47,670
I'd rather they stole our stuff
489
00:22:47,714 --> 00:22:52,632
than our... foursome virginity.
490
00:22:52,675 --> 00:22:54,590
I can't believe
they wanted to fuck us.
491
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:56,418
No?
492
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:58,377
I can. I'd fuck us.
493
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,248
We're totally fuckable people,
babe.
494
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:04,121
Oh, I'm having
the best time with you.
495
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:06,385
Yeah, me, too.
496
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,300
I was sad that
the family holidays are over,
497
00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:12,391
- but this is just lovely.
- Yeah, it's lovely.
498
00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:15,394
- To us.
- To us.
499
00:23:15,437 --> 00:23:17,308
Twang.
500
00:23:20,486 --> 00:23:21,704
Mm.
501
00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:24,620
Ah.
502
00:23:24,664 --> 00:23:26,970
Oh, what's the time?
I left my phone in the room
503
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,972
with the sexers.
504
00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:31,279
Oh, shit.
505
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,673
- What is it?
- What the fuck?
506
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,112
Do you see how bad
that would be for me?
507
00:23:38,155 --> 00:23:39,940
- No, I don't!
- You don't?
508
00:23:39,983 --> 00:23:42,551
No, I genuinely don't.
509
00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:53,693
Luke?
510
00:23:54,911 --> 00:23:56,043
Are you okay?
511
00:23:58,741 --> 00:24:01,570
I think
my waters have broken.
512
00:24:06,401 --> 00:24:08,359
- Do something, Luke.
- Is it, um...
513
00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:10,623
Call Mum.
514
00:24:10,666 --> 00:24:12,059
You sure it isn't
a really big wee?
515
00:24:12,102 --> 00:24:13,190
- It's not a wee.
- Because sometimes the baby
516
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:14,888
can push on the bladder,
517
00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,977
- and it looks like--
- It isn't a wee, Luke!
518
00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:19,109
Oh, my God! Um...
519
00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:21,242
- I think the baby's coming.
- We've still got five weeks!
520
00:24:21,285 --> 00:24:22,983
- Call Mum.
- Mum's in Malta.
521
00:24:23,026 --> 00:24:25,159
- Mymum!
- Oh, um...
522
00:24:25,202 --> 00:24:27,030
I'll run and get the car.
I'll be 10 minutes, tops, okay?
523
00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:29,119
- You come and sit back down.
- No, no, Luke, I-I need my mum.
524
00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:30,947
Can you just call her?
Please, now.
38180
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