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This is a story about a boat,
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00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:09,719
a boat that washed up on a beach
and changed a lot of lives,
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00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,559
like for a woman called
Janet... Janet! ..and Samuel.
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My name's Samuel.
Hi... Samuel.
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00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,599
And him... What you
dinky doing, you?
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,479
..and her... Pat
Tooh with an H.
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00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,479
..and him... Ben.
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00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,039
You don't know me...
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00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,839
..and this one. Le Tailleur.
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00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,680
And also this guy...
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00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,359
He's not much of a talker.
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00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,360
STATIC HISS
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00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,520
CROW CAWS
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00:00:48,875 --> 00:00:54,000
Argh!
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00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:05,160
Now, some stories start
a long, long time ago.
16
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:11,079
Some stories start
in a deep, dark wood.
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00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,279
Some stories start in
a galaxy far, far away.
18
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,679
But this story starts here,
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00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,920
under a damn pylon, with a
severed head, of all things.
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00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,000
Shall we begin?
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00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,080
MOPED ENGINE
22
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:42,079
Let's go back in time to
the small town of Applebury.
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00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,879
Not the kind of place
people die to go to,
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00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,400
more the kind where
people go to die.
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00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,519
It starts one morning,
a Thursday, I think,
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00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,799
under smokestacks on
a lonely country road.
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00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,319
A woman with blue in her hair
driving towards a Thursday...
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00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,399
METALLIC CLUNK
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00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,600
..unlike any other
Thursday she'd experienced.
30
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,200
WHISTLING
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00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,800
TUNELESS WHISTLING CONTINUES
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00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,839
Keith, do you mind? It's like one of the
Seven Dwarfs had a fucking brain injury.
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00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,599
I'm five-foot-seven. Perfectly
good height for a man.
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00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:42,199
Anyhow, I don't claim to be
musical. That's my brother. Hey!
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00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,560
He does... Less chat, come
on, we've got quotas here.
36
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,720
Nigel! Shut it
down, there's a jam!
37
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,160
Hang on.
38
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,800
Yeah? Well, tell Maggie to...
39
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,759
Nah. We'll have to get
someone from maintenance here.
40
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:25,399
FAINTLY: It's stuck, I can't
get it to work and I can't...
41
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,199
OK, clear!
42
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,559
SCREAMS
43
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,600
Nige! Argh!
44
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,360
MACHINERY STOPS
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00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,560
Worst Thursday ever.
46
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,680
WAVES CRASHING
47
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,520
FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO
48
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,840
SIREN
49
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,159
LOUDSPEAKER: Please switch off your
engine, so we can board your vessel!
50
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,320
Merde!
51
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,719
Bonsoir.
52
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,840
Do you mind tying
that down for us?
53
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,760
Bit nasty out, eh?
I've seen worse.
54
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,959
Mind if I take a look around?
55
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,799
May I ask why?
56
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,480
Take a quick look around,
then I'll be out your minge.
57
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,040
Mackerel.
58
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,599
Yeah, a whole lot of mackerel.
59
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,400
It was a good haul.
60
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,680
And... not mackerel.
61
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,559
Come on, then.
62
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,600
GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING
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00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,800
FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO
64
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:30,600
Argh!
65
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,680
Fucking get up!
66
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,320
MUSIC CONTINUES
67
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,839
You fucking done?
Fucking get up!
68
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,039
Fucking get up!
69
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,160
YELLING AND GRUNTING
70
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,000
Urgh! Urgh!
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00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,440
CLUNK
72
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,080
JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES
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00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,840
THUNDER RUMBLES
74
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,039
♪ Anything you can do,
I can do better... ♪
75
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,879
Hiya.
76
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,519
Evening.
77
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,319
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
78
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,199
♪ No, you can't Yes,
I can. Yes, I can.
79
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,919
♪ Anything you can
be, I can be greater
80
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,119
♪ Sooner or later,
I'm greater than you
81
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,639
♪ No, you're not Yes, I am
82
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,479
♪ No, you're not Yes, I am
83
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,799
♪ No, you're not
Yes, I am. Yes, I am!
84
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,599
♪ I can shoot a partridge
with a single cartridge
85
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,439
♪ I can get a sparrow
with a bow and arrow
86
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,879
♪ I can live on bread
and cheese... ♪ Right...
87
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,679
♪ And only on that?
Yes. So can a rat
88
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,039
♪ Any note you can
reach, I can go higher
89
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,839
♪ I can sing anything
higher than you
90
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,279
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
91
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,719
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
92
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,519
♪ No, you can't Yes,
I can. Yes, I can.
93
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,159
♪ Anything you can
say, I can say faster
94
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,119
♪ I can say anything
faster than you
95
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,159
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
96
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,199
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
97
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,559
♪ No, you can't Yes, I can
98
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,600
♪ No, you can't
Yes, I can... ♪
99
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,519
You could just buy it, you
know, love? You can buy them?!
100
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,639
I didn't win it at a fair that only exists
for people who can sell them on at fairs.
101
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,279
See, how it works is I
buy the stuffed animals,
102
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,799
and then in this stall, people
come and they play and they win...
103
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,839
No, I get that. I were just...
104
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,559
Doesn't matter.
105
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,279
I'm out of money anyway. That
were my budget for the week.
106
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,039
But it's not your problem.
Thanks. Thanks, anyway.
107
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,359
Tell you what, Annie Oakley.
108
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,800
You've practically bought it
already, amount you've slapped down.
109
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,039
Here you go, pet.
110
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,679
Are you sure?
111
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:55,399
Piece of advice. Don't let it shit on
the floor and definitely don't kiss it,
112
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,480
or it turns into a
22-stone fuckhead.
113
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,000
Ta.
114
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,880
KIDS SCREAM
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00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,160
KIDS LAUGH
116
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,839
CROAKY VOICE: Alan...
117
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,399
Alan!
118
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,799
Ribbit, ribbit...
No way! Hiya, love.
119
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,119
You finally won the beast!
Only took eight years.
120
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,799
The approximate lifespan of
the West European hedgehog.
121
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,199
Just don't kiss him, or he turns
into a 20-stone fuckhead. Ah!
122
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,279
Sorry. How did you do it?
123
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,799
RUSSIAN ACCENT: I am
Russian spy. You know this.
124
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,679
Ah, right. My hand, it become rocket
launcher, I shoot the cans at a local fair
125
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,519
and job done, as they say.
Shush, don't tell anybody.
126
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,239
You silly woman.
127
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,719
New hand looks good.
128
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,560
No, it doesn't.
But thanks, anyway.
129
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,359
You all right? Yeah. I'll be
fine, they'll see me right.
130
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,159
Janet, Janet...
131
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,799
Dearie me.
132
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,639
Bit of a coincidence
seeing you here, isn't it?
133
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,759
No, I was out with a friend
actually. So... Yeah.
134
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,039
Where is she,
then? She's, erm...
135
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:49,519
Oh, yes, she's over there. She's on
one of the... She's on the slide.
136
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:54,239
No... Oh, no, she's not. Maybe she...
Hot-dogs. Candyfloss, or something like that...
137
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,199
She loves candyfloss. You
can't keep doing this.
138
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,319
I don't want to get into
restraining orders, but...
139
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,039
This is not your life now.
140
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,920
Maybe you'd be happier if you
let Jesus into your world.
141
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,360
Like I did.
142
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,439
Let's go.
143
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,599
We're praying for you, Jenny.
144
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,240
It's Janet. You
know it's Janet...
145
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,479
She knew full well it was Janet.
146
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,400
She was just fucking with her.
147
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,240
Sorry.
148
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,999
Would you like your
fortune read, darling?
149
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,920
I think it's best I don't.
150
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,919
They say fortune
favours the brave.
151
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:51,440
But sometimes, even the
bravest souls get left behind.
152
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,519
That's the thing
about life, see?
153
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,519
Some frogs never do get kissed.
154
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,280
Some fairy tales never
get their ending.
155
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,359
But sometimes,
156
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,119
they find another way.
157
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,320
BIRDS CALL
158
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,720
Drop it.
159
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,119
Good boy.
160
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,080
Come here. Come here!
161
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,839
Jump. That's nice.
162
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,720
Come here. Come on, then.
Good boy. DOG YAPPING
163
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,599
Morning.
164
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,040
Morning.
165
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,279
Don't normally see
anyone else this time.
166
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,680
I don't sleep well.
167
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,560
Me neither.
168
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,039
Wow! Quick, yours.
Ah, no, he's not mine.
169
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,880
The neighbour lets
me take him out.
170
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,999
You're not from round here?
171
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,200
What gave it away?
172
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,560
Oh, you know...
173
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,679
Everything.
174
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,759
Yeah. Just moved up from London.
175
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,999
We're "one of those".
176
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,599
Tired of the rat race, were it?
177
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,120
Yeah. Something like that.
178
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,479
Tom!
179
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,639
Tom! Where are you?
180
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:43,800
Tom?
181
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,599
OK. Major Tom?
182
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,080
Major Tom!
183
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,479
RATTLES CAT TREATS
184
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,199
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
We seem to have misplaced our cat.
185
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:04,400
When Major Tom returns, would you
please give us a call? Thank you.
186
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,880
You're leaving me your cat?
187
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,440
Thank you.
188
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,680
ENGINE STARTS
189
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,280
MAJOR TOM MEOWS
190
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,400
THUNDERCLAP
191
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,280
And the sea air of course,
good for the soul, they say.
192
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:48,240
Well, your new home has been officially
recognised as the country's hairiest arsehole.
193
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,080
Makes Peterborough
look like... Portugal.
194
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,760
I think it's people make places.
195
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,280
Then we're really fucked.
196
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,760
Sorry.
197
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,400
WIND HOWLS
198
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,960
DOG WHIMPERS
199
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,240
DOG YAPS
200
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,920
What the hell...?
Bette, come here.
201
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,840
What is it? What is it, girl?
202
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,120
What is...?
203
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,520
Jesus Christ!
204
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,600
Oh, God!
205
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:18,399
Call the police. My phone's out.
206
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,200
Right. Just fucking... Come on.
207
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,960
You got to look at this. What?
208
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,080
Fucking hell! Yeah.
209
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,199
What are you waiting for?
There's two dead people here.
210
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:58,039
The street value's got to
run into tens of millions...
211
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,279
So what? Let's just, erm...
Let's just give this a minute.
212
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,559
Let's just think... There's
nowt to think about.
213
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,080
Jesus! Give me your
fucking phone! Just, erm...
214
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,559
Sometimes...
Sometimes, the world...
215
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,119
The world throws you a bone.
216
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,440
But you don't always see it. You
don't always recognise it, but...
217
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,160
This, what's happening right now,
this is the world throwing us a bone.
218
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,080
You want to fucking take it?
219
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,240
I don't know.
220
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,960
Are you mad?
221
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,599
My name's Samuel.
What's your name?
222
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,199
What? Look, this situation's fucked up enough
as it is without us being total strangers.
223
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,679
My name's Samuel.
What's yours, please?
224
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,960
It's Janet. OK. Janet. OK.
225
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,640
Hi, Janet.
226
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,919
Hi, Samuel.
227
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,120
Erm...
228
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,879
Listen... Listen, Janet, erm,
back in London, I was a lawyer.
229
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,239
And I, think I might... I know this is
fucking insane, it's insane, I know, but...
230
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,160
I think I know someone who'd
give us a lot of money for this.
231
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,039
I just came here to walk
the bloody dog. So did I!
232
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,759
But then the world... Threw us a
bone, yeah. Only it's not a bone.
233
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,839
It's a load of cocaine, the
size of a fucking Nissan!
234
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,960
I've gambled away my
entire life savings.
235
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,479
I sold my house, which
is why we moved here.
236
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,800
Camilla, my wife, has no idea.
237
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,399
I don't know what your story
is... No, you don't. Right.
238
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,280
But you are telling me you
can't use a few million quid?
239
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,920
It is not that simple.
But it could be.
240
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,679
Sometimes, you know, the best thing
to do is to look out for yourself.
241
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,239
Cos God knows life kicks you
in the bollocks often enough,
242
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,919
and when you get a chance you
need to take it, grab it with
243
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,479
both hands, because there's nothing
worse than living with regret...
244
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,039
HE FADES OUT, WAVES CRASH
245
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,640
Where would we keep it?
246
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,919
We should go.
247
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,159
DOG WHIMPERS
248
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,680
Oh, shit! What?
249
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,240
I gotta clean my dog.
250
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,800
MOBILE RINGS
251
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,399
We missed our date last night.
252
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,279
But I'd already
paid the deposit,
253
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,159
so I had a whole beef
Wellington to myself.
254
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,959
And I ate it all,
255
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,879
the whole soddin' Wellington.
256
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,439
So are you going to give
me a call back, or what?
257
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,720
Just a text or anything, just to
let me know that you're all right.
258
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,040
Just call me, all right, love?
259
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,840
Turns out the policeman's
boyfriend was also a policeman.
260
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,559
And while he was
calling his dead lover,
261
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,360
Samuel was washing his
Pomeranian in the sea.
262
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,720
Come on, come on, come on.
263
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,880
DOG YAPS
264
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,960
Where the fuck were you?
What took you so long?
265
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,839
There was a woman...
on the beach.
266
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,199
She saw me.
267
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,279
What? Christ...
268
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,600
Well, she didn't see my face.
Come on, just fucking drive.
269
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,800
Hmm.
270
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,959
999, what's your emergency?
271
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,119
Yes, there's a Code 4
down at Applebury beach.
272
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:17,839
A boat on the shore.
273
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,840
No need for sirens,
just the meat wagon.
274
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,199
Your name, please?
275
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,279
Pat Tooh, with an H.
276
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,919
Right, are you able to wait a
while, while we send an ambulance?
277
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,919
I used to be a paramedic, love.
Trust me, they're extremely dead.
278
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,320
They're on their
way. Ah, lovely.
279
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:42,720
IN FRENCH:
280
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,440
MUFFLED GRUNTS
281
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,200
PHONE RINGS
282
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,919
Yes?
283
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,319
What is it?
284
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,679
Sh!
285
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,040
Sh, sh, sh, sh!
286
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,720
Ah, hold on, hold on.
287
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,760
HE CRIES IN PAIN
288
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,240
HE CHOKES
289
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,840
Say that again.
290
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,320
You are talking
about my shipment?
291
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,759
But this is a joke.
292
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,280
Tell me it's a joke.
293
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,320
This is how.
294
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,079
Where are we even going?
295
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,799
I think we should drop
the dogs off first.
296
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,239
Then I passed a storage
unit on my way in.
297
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,159
Storage? Right. You've got
all the answers, haven't you,
298
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,519
Mr Storage Face?
299
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:26,759
Sorry, you got a charger?
300
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,639
Just my phone's...
301
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,919
My wife's, it's in there.
302
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,719
That'll do it.
303
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,519
Oh, I don't understand
what just happened.
304
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,159
I feel like my heart's beating
right outside my chest.
305
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,560
Maybe that's because it is.
306
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,520
Shit.
307
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,479
OK.
308
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,039
OK, just...
309
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,719
Just stay calm. I am.
310
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,360
I'm talking to myself. Oh.
311
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,559
Come on, come on, come on.
312
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,240
Keep calm, remember?
313
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,800
Oh, no. What?
314
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,439
What shall I do?
315
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,120
Don't do anything.
Just wait and... Huh...
316
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,040
OK.
317
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,239
I'll get out of the
way, nice... and slow.
318
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,679
What the fuck are you doing? What
do you mean, what am I doing?
319
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,399
It's a one-way street!
What? Oh, shit.
320
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,039
SIREN WAILS What
is wrong with you?
321
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:42,999
I wasn't thinking.
Well, start. Pull over!
322
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,159
What? What if we just hit the
pedal and we don't look back?
323
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,879
We're not Thelma and Louise, you
daft bastard. We're in Applebury.
324
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,240
Stop the fucking car.
325
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,359
Stay calm. Yes, yes, I know.
326
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,599
I'm talking to MYSELF now.
327
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,200
SHE SIGHS
328
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,400
RADIO CHATTER
329
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,159
Hi, officer. So,
look, I'm new here,
330
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,599
and I, erm, was meant to
take a different turning
331
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,079
and I ended up going
down this one-way street.
332
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,119
You know you're going
down a one-way street?
333
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,399
Yes, and I'm so sorry. Erm...
334
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,639
You can't do that. No, er...
335
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,679
What if a car was coming
towards you? Or a bicycle?
336
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,999
Neither would be
good. Or a van.
337
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,159
Absolutely. A mobility scooter.
338
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,239
Right... A kid
on a skateboard.
339
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:48,799
Or those shoes with wheels on.
340
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,839
Can you imagine how that
could have ended up?
341
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,360
Terrible. Be dead.
342
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,559
Hiya. You all right?
343
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,919
So, I really am very sorry.
344
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,279
And I'm sorry to be
wasting police time.
345
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,759
It's important, the
job you guys do.
346
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,719
My friend and I, we were just
out walking our dogs together.
347
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,440
Dog buddies!
348
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:11,519
Yes, dog friends, and we got
talking and, er, the turning...
349
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,000
All right.
350
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:26,839
Tell me something, sir. Yes.
351
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,440
In the back of your car there...
352
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,800
..is that a whippet?
353
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,599
Yes, yes. Yeah, he's
called Rambo. Rambo.
354
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,439
My mummy used to have a whippet.
355
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,439
Beautiful creatures,
aren't they? Yeah.
356
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,799
Odd little bodies, though.
You can see their ribs.
357
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,920
Yeah, you can.
MAN: Ben, come on.
358
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,599
Look, all right, no
harm done, all right?
359
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,799
But please be more careful
next time. Yes, will do.
360
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,719
Yeah, of course. Thanks.
See you later. Right.
361
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,440
Thank you so much. Thank you.
362
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,880
Dog buddies?
363
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,960
I panicked.
364
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,319
And that's just ten of the
great uses for safety pins.
365
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,439
Harold's Life Hacks - hit
the subscribe button below.
366
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,560
CAMERA BEEPS
367
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,519
Hey. We need storage.
368
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,600
Oh, and, er, these.
369
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,240
HE SIGHS
370
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,959
Right, we've got a padlock each,
371
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,200
so it needs both of us if
we want to get into it.
372
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,759
Don't you trust me?
373
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,520
You said you were a
lawyer, didn't you?
374
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,799
You can just ask me, you know.
375
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,999
Ask you what? My hand.
You keep staring at it
376
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,079
like it's a pair of tits.
No, I don't! You do.
377
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,399
It were a work accident -
378
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,679
hand versus industrial
metal-pressing machine.
379
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,160
Guess who lost.
380
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,719
Good lawyer could
get you six figures.
381
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,159
Oh, my God! I never
thought of that!
382
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,239
No, me, erm...
383
00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,039
My manager, he, er, he gave me
some whisky after it happened.
384
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,759
Don't tell the bods
upstairs that you saw this.
385
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,280
It'll just take the edge off it.
386
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,879
I downed the lot,
387
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,439
on account of the extreme fucking
agony I were experiencing.
388
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,399
He later claimed that I
were drinking on the job,
389
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,440
so, no pay-out... for me.
390
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,119
You can ask me
anything, you know.
391
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,079
I'm all right,
actually. MOBILE RINGS
392
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,999
Sorry, got to take this.
393
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,280
Hello, Samuel speaking.
394
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,439
You're joking.
395
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,839
OK. No, thanks. It's
great. I, erm...
396
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,039
Can I call you back?
It's not a good time.
397
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,240
Thank you.
398
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,439
Who were that? It's
my cat, Major Tom.
399
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:00,719
Your what?
400
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,439
No, my cat's not
calling me, obviously.
401
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,639
It's, er, my estate agent.
402
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,879
When we moved out of
the house in London,
403
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,719
the cat went AWOL, and
it seems he's back.
404
00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:12,400
You moved house and you
left your cat behind?
405
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:16,120
What the fuck am I doing?
406
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,719
What now?
407
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,399
I don't know.
408
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,720
What are you supposed to do
after something like this?
409
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,359
I thought you could use this.
410
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,559
Soy, right? Oh, Colin,
you're the best!
411
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,880
It's all right. I
was passing anyway.
412
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,480
I'd better be
getting on. Yeah.
413
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,439
Why don't you just ask her out?
414
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,239
I've, er, actually
written her a note.
415
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,999
Great. Just what every
grown woman wants.
416
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,599
Follow it up by pulling her
pigtails and telling her she smells
417
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,039
and you're golden.
418
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,039
Love might have been
in the air for Colin,
419
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,599
but, for Arthur Lake,
420
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,759
it was quite the opposite.
421
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,799
As he sat there lost in a
haze of pain and sadness,
422
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,839
the last thing he needed
to hear was the words...
423
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,640
ECHOING: You all right, buddy?
424
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,040
Buddy?
425
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,159
Who are you? Ben.
426
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,399
You don't know me.
Or my name. Clearly.
427
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,599
I just wanted to say how sorry
I was about what happened
428
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,159
to your life-partner.
429
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,679
I really am sorry, buddy.
430
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,479
It's all right if I call
you buddy, isn't it?
431
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,719
He seemed nice.
432
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,960
I'm not that way inclined, you know,
but if I were, I'd be interested.
433
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,759
He probably wouldn't be
interested in me anyway, would he?
434
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,239
I wonder who would.
435
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:15,279
Ian, maybe.
436
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,720
Do you know Ian?
437
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,720
Arthur... Come on.
438
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,239
How are you doing?
439
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:29,919
As you'd expect.
440
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,159
I know you'd rather be
anywhere but here right now,
441
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:33,719
only something's come up.
442
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,239
How do you mean?
443
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,919
Mark took a unit boat
out onto the water,
444
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,799
but the case number
he assigned to it...
445
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,040
It doesn't exist.
446
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,919
Sorry, I don't... Erm...
447
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,159
What are you asking me?
448
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:51,559
He takes a police vessel out into
the ocean - at night, on his own.
449
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,039
Next thing we know, we find
him in that fishing boat
450
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,279
with an as yet
unidentified body.
451
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,240
Are you saying he
was on the take?
452
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,719
Because if you are, sir,
that's some fucking bollocks.
453
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:04,319
Not here, lad. In my office.
I'm fine where I am, thanks.
454
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,639
We're just trying to piece
things together, that's all.
455
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,519
I fucking loved him!
456
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,839
So don't you dare stand
there and make out like
457
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,639
him being killed was
somehow his fault!
458
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,839
Mark was a good officer.
459
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,959
The whole force has
suffered a loss today.
460
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,559
HE CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY
461
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,799
Nice eulogy.
462
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,000
You going to bury his reputation
alongside his fucking corpse?
463
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,479
Nice and easy.
464
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,159
Good boy.
465
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,079
I'm not doing rock,
paper, scissors.
466
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,279
Why?
467
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,599
Cos it's stupid.
468
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,440
And we've got pubes
now, that's why.
469
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,800
Well, how about foot,
cockroach, nuclear bomb?
470
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,199
What the fuck is that?
471
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,119
Well, it's basically
rock, paper, scissors.
472
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,999
Oh, for fuck's sake.
No, I'm not doing it.
473
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,600
All right, Ron, answer me this.
474
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,880
How many times did you
fail your driving test?
475
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,679
Twice.
476
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:18,999
Three times.
477
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,639
Fucked up the three-point turn.
478
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:21,959
Well, there you go.
479
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,799
You're driving this time.
480
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,279
Oh, and do me a favour,
481
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,519
have a little think about
what we're going to eat later.
482
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,320
This place I drew the
map on looks lovely.
483
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,879
20% voucher off and all, eh?
484
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,239
THEY LAUGH
485
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:36,840
You know it makes sense.
486
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,080
Right, let's do it.
487
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,119
PACKET RUSTLES
488
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,679
HE MUNCHES
489
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:23,720
PHONE RINGS
490
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,040
Hmm...
491
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,960
PACKET RUSTLES
492
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,280
SHOTGUN COCKS
493
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,240
ENTRY SYSTEM BUZZES
494
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,720
SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE
495
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,280
GUNFIRE CONTINUES
496
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,560
SHOUTING AND SCREAMING
497
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,200
SHRIEK, GUNSHOT
498
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,760
NOISE ECHOES
499
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,240
Please, no... GUNSHOT
500
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,160
Please... Plea-...
501
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,040
SHOTGUN COCKS
502
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,720
HE STRAINS
503
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,480
TINY SQUEAK
504
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,120
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
505
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,480
WHISPERS: Get down, get down...
506
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,559
Read it when this is
done, would you? Sh.
507
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,440
DOOR OPENS
508
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,360
WHISPERS: No, no.
509
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,240
SHE SCREAMS
510
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:52,560
Stand up.
511
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,159
Where's the evidence locker?
512
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,600
It says it should fucking
be here, now where is it?
513
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,680
I think it's the
wrong way round.
514
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,399
Ah...
515
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,120
HE LAUGHS
516
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:23,799
Cheers.
517
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:25,120
GUNSHOT
518
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,080
HE EXHALES
519
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:37,600
PHONE LINE BLEEPS
520
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,120
Wrong fucking floor. Basement.
521
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,080
ENTRY PAD BEEPS
522
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:10,760
ENTRY PAD BEEPS
523
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,560
No, no, no.
524
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:26,480
It's not here.
525
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,080
It's fucking not here.
526
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,920
ENGINE STARTS
527
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,520
PHONE PINGS
528
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:26,599
It were just a friend.
529
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,640
PHONE PINGS
530
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:35,479
Oh! Get two-for-one with a
fax machine there, did you?
531
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,680
No.
532
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,799
It's so I don't have a
24-hour casino in my pocket.
533
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,240
Ah, sorry.
534
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,280
Ah, OK...
535
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,599
Why are you looking
at me like that?
536
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,439
Because I am wondering why you
agreed to do something like this.
537
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,000
Cos you're so persuasive.
538
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,240
Let me tell you something.
539
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,320
You know my secrets...
540
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,159
..all of them. Fucking hell.
541
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:09,719
HE LAUGHS
542
00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:11,960
You're the only person
in the world who does.
543
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,600
I reckon this is a safe space.
544
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:19,520
OK.
545
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,439
That weren't me friend
that texted earlier.
546
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:24,999
It were me ex, Peter.
547
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,559
Cos I accidentally, on purpose -
548
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,559
- very on-purpose -
bumped into our boy
549
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,119
the other day and he mentioned
a restraining order again.
550
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,079
A restraining order?
That's your son, isn't it?
551
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,519
He's not, actually.
I mean, he is.
552
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,479
He were just a baby
when I met his dad.
553
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,719
His mum had buggered off and
then suddenly there I were.
554
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:44,959
Not a bloody clue
what I were doing.
555
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,080
And I bloody loved
it, every minute.
556
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,519
Anyway, Peter, he
met a younger model
557
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,839
who were hard for Jesus,
so that were that.
558
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,519
So, now I can't see him anymore.
559
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,960
So, from being a mum to being...
560
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,479
..numb, I suppose.
561
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:05,320
Yeah, like I never
fucking existed.
562
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:09,800
That's shit. Sorry.
563
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,640
Oh, fucking hell.
564
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,880
Can I... Can I
show you something?
565
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,679
So, this is... yours?
566
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,879
It's the last painting I sold.
567
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,879
It's beautiful.
568
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,719
Yeah, at least I kept
the hand I paint with.
569
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,399
No, I mean it.
570
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,279
You have real talent.
571
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:41,840
Shades of Demuth...
572
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,599
Charles Demuth. TANNOY CHIMES
573
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:47,919
OK...
574
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,039
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Attention, all shoppers,
575
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:54,159
Tinley Shopping Centre will close
today at 4pm due to an incident...
576
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,239
Yep. Years of effort
and if you're lucky,
577
00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:59,520
maybe you get a spot
in the Tinley Centre.
578
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,719
Why'd you bring me here?
579
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:09,119
Sometimes I come here and I pretend
like I'm in some art gallery
580
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,279
and it's like I'm in
some alternate reality
581
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,200
where I'm not the unluckiest
person in the world.
582
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,359
So why did...?
583
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,159
You asked me
584
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,200
why I agreed to do
this, right? Mm-hm.
585
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,479
Cos everything I thought I had -
586
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,159
my future, me...
Me fucking fingers,
587
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:32,879
and me boy -
588
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:34,799
it's all nothing.
589
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,359
And I am... I am
done with nothing.
590
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:38,640
And you need to know that.
591
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:42,120
Do not fuck me over on this.
592
00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:46,079
Do not fuck me over
on this, please.
593
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,560
MOBILE RINGS
594
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:54,599
You OK, love?
595
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,319
He hasn't told you
anything, has he?
596
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,919
Who? Oh, your dad?
597
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,799
No, no, apart from where
I can stick it. Why?
598
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,480
It's just, it feels like
there's something going on.
599
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,359
Like, afoot, you might even say.
600
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:12,119
Dad and Suzie, they keep going quiet
whenever I come into a room like...
601
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:13,800
Got to go. He's coming back.
602
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:17,439
Alan. Alan?
603
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,560
Fuck's sake. SHE TUTS
604
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,519
Well, we should probably,
er, call it a night
605
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,519
before your cat takes
out a second mortgage.
606
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,400
Yes, yes, yes.
607
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,120
The family will be
wondering where I got to.
608
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,679
So, erm, all right.
609
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,079
Well, then, erm, yeah.
610
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,999
I'll... I'll...
611
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,320
I'll be in touch. Oh...
612
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,719
Right, leave it to
the one with one hand.
613
00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:53,159
Actually, I can't just go and
pretend it's been a normal day.
614
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:54,599
I'm going to go and
drink some more.
615
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,680
So, despite what you said, you
are welcome to come and join me.
616
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:04,040
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
617
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,640
Let's leave Janet and
Samuel doing karaoke...
618
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,239
..and go find Arthur running
619
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:18,479
away from grief PHONE RINGS
620
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,640
and towards a whole
new set of problems.
621
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,839
Look, whatever you're
selling, piss off, all right?
622
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:29,799
I'm not selling
anything, Mr Lake.
623
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,480
How are you?
624
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:33,759
Who's this?
625
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,599
Le Tailleur.
626
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,439
The Tailor, like you would say.
627
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:42,519
But, like most things, it
sounds better in French.
628
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,440
We haven't met, but you have
something of mine, I think.
629
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,599
I don't know what
you're talking about.
630
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,639
The boat was found,
and two bodies -
631
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,279
my associate, your partner,
632
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,399
and the boat's cargo is gone.
633
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,639
My people checked the
police evidence room.
634
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,239
I've done my work, you see.
635
00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:00,839
You were working together
to steal from me.
636
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,719
Mate, I don't know
who the fuck you are
637
00:54:02,720 --> 00:54:05,599
or what the fuck you are
talking about, all right?
638
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,399
Don't. Please.
639
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,039
Another shipment of mine
was taken six weeks ago.
640
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,679
Two men in police uniform.
641
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,159
Now, one, I can shrug it off -
642
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,719
bad luck, the cost
of doing business -
643
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:19,760
but two...? Get fucked.
644
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:26,079
I believe appearances
are very important,
645
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,479
no matter what your business.
646
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:33,319
Perception is no mere superficial
concern, it is everything.
647
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,959
And the perception
of my organisation,
648
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,359
to lose two shipments...
649
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,999
You see my problem?
650
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,360
Seems to me you've got
another problem, pal.
651
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:45,920
You've got to find me first.
652
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,759
♪ Ground Control
to Major Tom... ♪
653
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,559
He claimed not to know anything.
654
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,640
So, I have a journey to make.
655
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,679
No, no, I'm looking
forward to it.
656
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,639
It's good to get out of
the house once in a while.
657
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,799
The thing about stories is,
658
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,559
it's they can take you anywhere.
659
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:16,840
To well-paid mass murderers
in search of 20% discounts...
660
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,519
..to the places that
we thought were gone
661
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:23,120
and maybe lost forever.
662
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:29,960
Fairy tales about frogs being
kissed that needed an ending...
663
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,319
..to a boy playing an instrument
664
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,360
thinking about the mother he
wishes could be his mother.
665
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:46,879
♪ This is Ground
Control to Major Tom
666
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,680
♪ You've really made the grade
667
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:57,160
♪ And the papers want to
know whose shirts you wear
668
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:04,679
♪ Now it's time to leave
the capsule if you dare... ♪
669
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,719
I will find the money and
hang them from the sky.
670
00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:08,920
When I'm done...
671
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,680
..there will be nothing left.
672
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:20,119
Yes, stories can
take us anywhere,
673
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,559
sometimes even back
to the beginning,
674
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,600
or the end, depending
on how you look at it.
675
00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:41,519
I'll give you a
fiver to touch it.
676
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:42,999
You reckon we
should tell someone?
677
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,800
MAN: Oi!48342
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