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1
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,880
Look at me, right?
2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,600
And look at the Queen.
3
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:14,240
I was never a fan until it occurred to me
how much me and Ma'am have in common.
4
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,600
Bringing up kiddies,
you can't remember the names of.
5
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,640
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.
6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,160
Plus, the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,
7
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:26,880
her, literally sometimes,
and flagshipped a dying breed.
8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,240
Admired and despised equally.
9
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:34,840
Not for never lifting a finger, no,
for setting examples through extremity.
10
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,480
And whether you're a bigwig on her end
or a bigwig on mine,
11
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,600
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
12
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,600
snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.
13
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:46,400
I mean, she can't not be looking at me
and thinking, "What's your secret, Frank?"
14
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,240
I got shot of my kids yonks back,
15
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,360
whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
16
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,560
Fine!
17
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,920
I've had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet,
18
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,240
whereas she,
she's done the whole thing from a chair.
19
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,640
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
20
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,040
Oh, sure, there's perks.
21
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,720
But, look at her lot.
Brian May prancing about on her roof.
22
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,160
Now, look at my lot,
23
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,520
we know how to throw
a proper fucking pa-a-rty!
24
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,040
[Dom] The more I think about it,
the more I realise
25
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,720
that pretty much
everyone's got a secret identity.
26
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,480
And I'm not, you know,
meaning like Batman or Superman.
27
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,360
Although when I was ten,
I did put my pants on my head
28
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,840
and run around
pretending to be a superhero,
29
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,160
the Catholic Avenger.
30
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,080
Exorcised the next door neighbour's cat.
Worked as well.
31
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,680
No, I mean the secret identity
being you, the real you,
32
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,200
the one behind
all that bluster and front.
33
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,920
Like the woman
who pretended she didn't need love.
34
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,000
But found it closer to home
than she could have ever imagined.
35
00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,800
[door opens]
36
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,400
Or the boy who's doing his best to be
a loving husband and good father.
37
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,880
Those good looks and easy smile
38
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,039
distracting you from
the stench of blood and death
39
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,320
that came with his family name.
40
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,520
[door rattles]
41
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,960
Or the friendly local janitor,
42
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,240
always got a smile and wink
for the kiddies.
43
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,800
Some of them say they want to be
like him when they grow up.
44
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,080
[smooches]
45
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,760
Or the man who thought
he was happy enough,
46
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,800
drinking, womanising, getting by.
47
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:31,880
[moans]
48
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,160
Until he realised he'd never known
what happiness was at all.
49
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,680
[moaning]
50
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,080
[knock at door]
51
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,160
Coming!
52
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,520
[whispers] Oh, shit.
53
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,560
Coming!
54
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:45,760
Package for a Gloria Meak.
55
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,040
-She doesn't live here.
-Oh.
56
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,120
I mean, she does. Sorry. She does.
57
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,480
She's just not here right now.
58
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,480
Oh, pay no attention to him.
59
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,440
Mince for brains
till he has his first cuppa.
60
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,680
Yeah, my wife's the same.
61
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,200
Oh, no, no, we're not married.
62
00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,720
No, we're brother and sister.
63
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,640
What?
64
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,800
It's not weird, is it, us living together?
65
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,640
Especially not in this economic climate.
66
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,880
I'm a priest anyway,
you know, a man of the cloth.
67
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,760
I told you. Mince.
68
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
[door thud]
69
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,640
[paper rustling]
70
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,480
What's with you?
71
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,600
Nothing.
72
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,360
[giggling]
73
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,000
As you all know,
tomorrow is a red letter day.
74
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,880
The school inspector calls.
75
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:50,920
[all sigh]
76
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,160
So, big smiles, friendly faces,
and we'll get through it.
77
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,960
And, er, there is one other thing.
78
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:05,800
In light of recent solicitor's letters
that I've received,
79
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:11,480
it seems that our exclusion
of Adam Wiggins
80
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,080
may not have been entirely legal.
81
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,160
You better be joking.
82
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,959
This is shit.
83
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,240
[thud]
84
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,320
[sparkling]
85
00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:20,360
[muffled explosion]
86
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,240
[kid screams]
87
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,000
[screams]
88
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,840
That little fucker comes back,
you'll have a walkout on your hands.
89
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,880
You can't do that,
we've got an inspection.
90
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:31,800
Absolute joke.
91
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,160
[in Scouse accent]
Seems to me you're doing it all wrong.
92
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:38,080
Punishing the lad, excluding him,
not going to work.
93
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:43,520
Now, what you need is a nice little
frilly pink dress and a pair of heels.
94
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,800
Dress up this Adam like a little girl.
95
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,440
Two or three days
tottering round the corridors,
96
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,040
having the shite ripped out of him
by all and sundry,
97
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,520
he'll be humble as pie.
98
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,600
S'all right.
99
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,120
You can thank me later.
100
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:03,200
Just to remind you, you are PTA.
Not actual staff.
101
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,000
I was just helping,
102
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:09,240
I've got experience with these things,
kids of me own.
103
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:14,480
I understand the whole world of education
must seen fascinating and new to you.
104
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,600
What's that mean?
105
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,480
How old were you when you left school?
106
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,680
Exactly.
107
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,920
But this is not a free for all.
108
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,200
And I'm not blind.
109
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:26,400
I'm well aware of you slithering your
tentacles into places they're not welcome.
110
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,320
You better watch your tone.
111
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,000
And you better watch out
you don't over-step the mark.
112
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,640
'Cause one little word from me
and you're gone.
113
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:36,960
[mimics pop sound]
114
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,240
Gone with the wind.
115
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,720
[school bell rings]
116
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,680
[music playing]
117
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,400
He's not going to call.
118
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,520
He might.
119
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,120
I know things got a little bit
out of hand, but…
120
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,200
you know, now me and Kassi
have had a time to cool down.
121
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,280
Jamie, he popped in here for a drink
122
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,720
and you tried to beat the shite
out of him.
123
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,760
He's hardly going to be throwing
lunch dates and friend requests
124
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,800
in your direction.
125
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,480
[keypad beeps]
126
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,560
He's not answering my calls.
127
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,040
Because he knows your number.
128
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:19,880
But he doesn't know mine.
129
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,280
[phone rings and vibrates]
130
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,200
Hello?
131
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,520
It's me, Jamie.
132
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,400
Don't hang up.
133
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,800
Hey, all right, Mimi!
134
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,000
How's it hanging?
135
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,040
Hey!
136
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,920
This place doesn't clean itself, you know.
137
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,480
What are we doing, Frank?
138
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,080
Look at us. We look like dicks.
139
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,200
I don't.
140
00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:01,160
Hey, come on,
you shouldn't let them get you down, kid.
141
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,560
You're a big strong woman.
142
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,640
No, I'm not.
143
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:04,880
Yes, you are!
144
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,000
Come on!
145
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,240
In fact, I'm going close
the book on this place.
146
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,280
Take them for everything I can.
147
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:17,560
Show those fuckers what
over-stepping the line really looks like.
148
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,840
Yeah, good for you.
149
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,640
Hey, I've been very impressed by that…
150
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,880
you know, that mushroom industry
that you've got going.
151
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,280
You're a trailblazer, you know.
152
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,240
Amelia Earheart, Marie Curie,
Pocahontas…
153
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,520
I haven't got Hovis stamped on my arse.
154
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,200
You can stop buttering me up, Frank.
155
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,080
What do you want?
156
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:45,600
Well, seeing that you're doing very well
with this mushroom thing,
157
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:50,360
maybe tip a few caps this way
to your old friend and neighbour.
158
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,480
Fill your boots, Frank.
159
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,240
Enjoy it while it lasts.
160
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,640
'Cause I'm getting the goldmine,
and these are getting the shaft.
161
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,120
Laters, Frank.
162
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,880
[footsteps pounding]
163
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,400
Yeah, laters!
164
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,920
But you get on all right, as family…
165
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,920
when you finally got
to spend some time together.
166
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,720
I thought she was lovely,
167
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,280
till she opened her mouth.
168
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,440
And he was so drunk,
he thought I was twins.
169
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,120
Oh, come on, Jamie, you're a class act.
What's not to like, eh?
170
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,840
Black eye, couple of bruises.
171
00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:35,120
Jamie, he's agreed to meet you again.
172
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,320
He's coming in for a drink.
Don't over think it.
173
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,480
You know what you should try doing?
174
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:40,880
Mum, it's all right.
175
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,919
I was just saying.
176
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,720
I don't want this opened up this
to the floor.
177
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,920
I just wanted to hear
from a couple of folk who'd been there.
178
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,720
[glass clanks]
179
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,320
Right, listen up.
180
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,960
My brother's coming in here tonight.
181
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,120
I'm already here, you div.
182
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,800
My other brother!
183
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,960
And I want to show him
this place isn't a fucking cesspool.
184
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:06,080
No fighting, no drugs, no pissing,
and no puking.
185
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,160
Have you got that?
186
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,360
It's you he needs to worry about.
187
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,840
[laughter]
188
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,600
No, it's good to laugh.
189
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,760
A pub full of happy people, joking about,
you've got the right idea, John.
190
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,560
So go on, laugh again.
191
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,640
[laughs nervously]
192
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,240
I want to hear you.
A big old fucking chuckle.
193
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,760
[laughs loudly and nervously]
194
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,040
Oh, you can do better than that.
195
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,760
[intermittent laugh]
196
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,920
All of you!
197
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,480
I didn't say stop.
198
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:41,760
[laughter]
199
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,840
Come, on.
Laugh it up, you fucking fuzzballs.
200
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,240
[all laughing forcefully]
201
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,160
All together now!
202
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,040
[forceful laughter]
203
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,160
Computer room,
at the back, first corridor.
204
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,320
They got a brand new server,
whatever the fuck that is.
205
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,800
So, go in after midnight,
rip it out, sell it on.
206
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,000
Right?
207
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,240
You got masks?
208
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,280
Don't want any of this coming back to me.
209
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,440
Right then.
210
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,840
And don't smash the place up.
211
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,240
Some of the kids have worked quite hard
on their projects and…
212
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,840
Just keep it clean.
213
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,200
[keys rattling]
214
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,000
[police siren wails]
215
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,680
[giggling]
216
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,360
[Derilee] Are you sure
about us being here?
217
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,000
Oh, yeah,
'cause being at home's so much better,
218
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,680
with Aidan tramping around
with his tag on,
219
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:48,080
the little one mewling and whining
all the fucking time.
220
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,200
[Sherilee] It's just
we always hated school.
221
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,800
[Derilee] Worst years of our lives.
222
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,440
[Frank] I promise you.
223
00:10:54,520 --> 00:11:00,520
After this evening's over, you'll think
of school in a whole different light.
224
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,240
We're not pissing on you, Frank.
225
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,880
What?
226
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:05,920
Eh?
227
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,120
What's pissing got to do with it?
228
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,280
Just whenever you start talking like this,
usually ends with me pissing on you.
229
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,760
That's not strictly true.
230
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,160
But let's not rule anything out.
231
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,840
You know, what happens in school,
stays in school.
232
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,480
[clock ticking]
233
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,280
[indistinct chatter]
234
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,040
He's not coming.
235
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,720
Maybe he's just running late.
236
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,000
Maybe it's for the best.
237
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,200
It's not like
you can share life stories, is it?
238
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,000
"Oh, I tell you what,
let's talk about the time I was banged up,
239
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,080
or the time I offed three fellas,
240
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,720
or maybe the time when I dug up
the corpse of some guy's dad,
241
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,600
because he had his sticky fingers
on my missus."
242
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,840
[Karen] Shane, let's play
shut-the-fuck-up. You go first.
243
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,000
[laughter]
244
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,600
-Just saying.
-I'm going to clear up.
245
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,400
[panting]
246
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,280
[moaning]
247
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,320
[sirens in the distance]
248
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,160
[metal clangs]
249
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:11,960
Hey.
250
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,640
[grunts]
251
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:17,040
-Action Man, easy, easy.
-Shit. Sorry, mate.
252
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,040
[Kassi] Karen told me
you were out here shifting crates.
253
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,120
I know it's late.
254
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,440
We're closing up
but we can still get a couple of beers.
255
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,880
How about tomorrow?
256
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,000
Day out.
257
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,200
Banley Manor?
258
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,720
Tam's off school for a few days,
I have to look after him anyway.
259
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,880
Why Banley?
260
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,520
Is this to do with me dad?
261
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:36,800
Yes.
262
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:42,040
Yes, it is.
That's where his ashes were scattered.
263
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,360
Tomorrow then?
264
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,280
-Got a taxi waiting.
-Tomorrow.
265
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,360
[shushes]
266
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,800
[door closes]
267
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,360
-They're gone.
-Yeah.
268
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,520
[both panting]
269
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,400
[papers rustling]
270
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,760
-Frank…
-Almost done.
271
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,320
I dunno about this.
272
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,880
Makes me look like a prossie.
273
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,720
No!
274
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,360
You look like a painted lady.
275
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,240
[both laugh]
276
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,680
Don't that look like Siobhan?
277
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,320
Fuck, it does.
To the corn-rows and everything.
278
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,160
[Sherilee] Talented little bastards.
279
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,120
They're not talented!
280
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,120
This, this is talent.
281
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,240
Rembrandt'd be spinning in his tomb.
282
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,200
This stuff, this is rubbish.
283
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,520
It's just bollocks, innit?
284
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,280
Fingers like penises…
285
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,520
[imaginary laughter]
286
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,080
…smiling faces.
287
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,640
[Sherilee] Come on.
Get the little hole of you fuck you.
288
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,720
Yeah, that's kids for you.
289
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,760
They see things differently.
290
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:06,880
Blue sky.
291
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,720
Big old Mr. Sunshine.
292
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,720
[imaginary kids laughter]
293
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,760
Everything's beautiful.
294
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,440
Everything's just perfect.
295
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,680
Frankie!
296
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,080
Frankie!
297
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,800
[imaginary spooky laughter]
298
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,280
-Are you looking at me?
-Wait, this is…
299
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,960
-This is important.
-Look at me, Frank.
300
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,320
Here I am, Frank!
301
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,800
Frank!
302
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,160
This is fucking brilliant.
303
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,200
It's like a moment.
304
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,440
[wind chimes]
305
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,240
[child screams]
306
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,760
No. No, don't change.
307
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:54,840
[child screams]
308
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,560
Stay the same, don't grow old,
309
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:03,360
'cause your fucking kids
just fucking up and away.
310
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,840
Frank!
311
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,880
[hissing]
312
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,560
[growling]
313
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,640
[screams]
314
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,880
Frank!
315
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,120
[whiplash
316
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,960
Are you looking at me now, Frank?
317
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,000
[screams]
318
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,720
Have you finished?!
319
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,040
No! I'm not fucking finished!
320
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,200
[screams]
321
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,080
[whiplash]
322
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,800
[screams]
323
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,120
[spooky piano music playing]
324
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,120
You fucking leech!
325
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,200
Iraq not enough for you?
326
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,880
I am not fucking finished!
327
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,520
[panting]
328
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,880
[school bell rings]
329
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,760
[machine buzzing]
330
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,480
-All set?
-Yeah. Think so.
331
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,680
Packed lunch.
332
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,160
Just some sandwiches.
333
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,800
You ever been to Banley Manor before?
334
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,320
Oh, God, it's boring.
335
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,840
Went there years ago on a school trip.
336
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:52,880
Connor might enjoy it, though.
337
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,120
Don't think you have to come.
338
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,640
I can do this.
339
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,600
Like I said, boring for me.
340
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,760
But for Connor, though…
341
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,160
You OK?
342
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,440
But I'm not sharing my sandwiches.
343
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,760
Just go and get some stuff together.
344
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,200
He's bringing his kid too.
345
00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:13,880
My nephew, I suppose.
346
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,200
Have you got him something?
347
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,359
What?
348
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,839
You think I should get him a present?
349
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,839
I dunno, it'd be polite?
350
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,000
I mean, these middle classes…
351
00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:22,680
Oh, that'd be great,
showing up empty-handed!
352
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,839
He'll think I'm a right fucking loser.
353
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,200
We're meeting him at 11,
you haven't got time!
354
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,800
[indistinct chatter]
355
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,480
[sounds echoing]
356
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,720
Eh, what's going on?
357
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,680
It's Christmas, sir. Christmas morning.
358
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:41,800
Seriously?
359
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,040
Nah. Assembly in the hall, innit?
360
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,800
Coo-ee, Frank!
361
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:48,960
Look here, Frank!
362
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,440
Let me lick your lollipop, Frank!
363
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,640
[spooky laughs]
364
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,680
Oh! Eh-up, eh-up!
365
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,560
Eh-up, janny coming through!
366
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:00,960
Janny coming through!
367
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,400
-[thud]
-[door bells dings]
368
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,200
[snoring]
369
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,800
Frank, I'm stuck!
370
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,160
Just jump.
371
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,360
I can't.
372
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,640
I've got impetigo.
373
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,800
What?
374
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,920
Look, the place is going to be crawling
with kids and teachers in a minute.
375
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,280
I'll catch you, trust me.
376
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,520
Trust me!
377
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,400
[school bell rings]
378
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,640
[ropes twirling]
379
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:25,680
[thud]
380
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,560
Ah!
381
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,640
Oh, fucking hell.
382
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,280
Ah, Jesus.
383
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,480
Oh!
384
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,400
Come on, up and at 'em.
385
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,120
You said you'd catch me!
386
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,960
I've got bruises, more bruises.
387
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,560
Fucking hell, Frank,
you throw like a girl.
388
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,720
I haven't got time for this.
389
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,480
[school bell rings]
390
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,920
Oh, shit.
391
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,760
[door opens]
392
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,400
You got any Frisbees?
393
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,120
I don't sell that kind of stuff here.
You know that.
394
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,440
Have you got anything similar?
395
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,840
Jamie, I don't deal drugs. All right?
396
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,720
Bet he does. This place has to be a front.
397
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,200
It's not a bloody codeword.
It's a Frisbee!
398
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,240
It's an object you throw and catch.
399
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,120
Oh, right. Frisbee.
400
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,400
No,
I also don't sell that kind of thing here.
401
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:22,920
Here.
402
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,560
I'm in a rush. I can't be late.
So how much?
403
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,760
Just take it, man.
404
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:27,920
[door slams]
405
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,560
Biscay.
406
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:38,520
East or North West, four or five.
407
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,320
Slight or moderate.
408
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,280
Mainly fair.
409
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:47,080
Good, occasionally very poor.
410
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,960
Trafalgar.
411
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,360
Variable southerly…
412
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,400
[whispers] Frank!
413
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,680
…three or four.
414
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,920
Occasionally five.
415
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,240
Slight or moderate, fair, good.
416
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,600
Well, that concludes
today's shipping forecast.
417
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,800
Fucking hell.
418
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,360
I'd like to welcome someone back
into the fold.
419
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,560
And I'm sure that once you've heard
420
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:18,040
what Adam Wiggins has to say,
421
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:22,840
I'm sure that you'll agree
he deserves a second chance.
422
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,080
Adam?
423
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,200
[door opens]
424
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,760
[door closes]
425
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,480
[clears throat]
426
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,160
No way.
427
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,720
No, please. Please, please.
428
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,240
Not again. Oh, come on.
429
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,320
No.
430
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,800
[kids shout as they leave]
431
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,320
You're not dismissed!
432
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,200
Community, you've got to pull together,
haven't you?
433
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,280
Go Scargill!
434
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,040
Outside!
435
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,200
Great!
436
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:12,840
Just great!
437
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,080
Go on, fight the system.
438
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,360
Solidaritnost.
439
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,640
[splash]
440
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:31,960
Shouldn't you be in school?
441
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,320
There was a walk-out.
442
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,200
There's only like
3 teachers and 40 kids left.
443
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,560
When?
444
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,120
In assembly.
445
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,640
Heard them say
they'll probably shut the school down now.
446
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,240
Hang on a minute, love.
447
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,360
What are you doing, Miss?
448
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,320
Protecting my investment.
449
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,840
Ah, so, how are things at, uh…
450
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,000
um…
451
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,600
inspector HQ?
452
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,400
Right! Let us begin.
453
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,200
English.
454
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,400
Oh, how about geography instead?
455
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,120
Mr Farman's class is fascinating.
456
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,240
Oh, would you like to meet…
457
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,240
Year four English.
458
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,400
Actually I think the year four teacher
might be off.
459
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,120
Well, then you'll have
a substitute teacher, won't you?
460
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,480
Or are you so incompetent
you can't even manage that?
461
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,480
Wait, look,
there's something I need to tell you.
462
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,880
Of course, if I was to tell you
the next story we were looking at featured
463
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:31,680
murder, paranoia, insanity,
revenge and ghosts,
464
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,080
you'd probably think
I was talking about an X-rated oeuvre
465
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,320
of Mr. Tarantino or Mr. Stallone, but no.
466
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,480
It's called Hamlet and it's by a bright
young gun named Mr. William Shakespeare.
467
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,720
Anybody know him?
468
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,240
Ah, gentlemen.
469
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,520
Please, take a seat.
470
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,200
OK.
471
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,120
OK, so, where was I?
472
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,360
Hamlet, Hamlet.
473
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,640
It warms the very sickness in my heart,
474
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,720
that I shall live
and tell him to his teeth…
475
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,720
"Thus diest thou."
476
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,240
Slightly carried away there,
477
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,040
but everybody open your books,
turn to page one, hang onto your hats.
478
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,080
'Cause it's Hamlet time.
479
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,160
Right now,
your career is bent over the table,
480
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,200
trousers down, cheeks splayed,
481
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,920
about the get the arse fucking
to end all arse fuckings.
482
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,600
You're too old to re-train
for anything else,
483
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,520
and no other school will touch you
with the proverbial dirty barge pole.
484
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,920
So, I'm your only hope.
485
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,240
Now, I've called in favours
from friends, good friends,
486
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,400
to bail you out of your own mess.
487
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,800
I just hope
I haven't over-stepped the mark.
488
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,160
Everything all right, Mr. Banbury?
489
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,200
Everything's fine.
490
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,520
Then pay attention.
491
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,120
You might learn something.
492
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,880
My liege.
493
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:09,240
Art, chemistry,
physical education, mathematics.
494
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:15,280
Oh, and there was recently
a big investment in a school server.
495
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,080
I would very much like to see
that up and running.
496
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:22,880
Computer room, at the back,
brand new server, worth thousands.
497
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,200
Rip it out, sell it on.
498
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:28,800
No problem at all.
499
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,720
I need you to get that server back to me
A-S-A-fuckin'-P.
500
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,040
I don't care
if you've got football tonight.
501
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,040
Billy, do you want to spend the rest of
your married life sleeping on the couch?
502
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,320
[air hissing]
503
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:51,880
Right.
504
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,080
Thank you.
505
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,080
You. Here!
506
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,240
Now!
507
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,640
Bet you're happy with yourself.
508
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,560
School's in chaos.
509
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,160
Most of the teachers have buggered off.
510
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,480
Come on, let's see if you're still smiling
when I'm done with ya.
511
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:16,480
You might have half the school shittin'
themselves every time you look round,
512
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,160
might have the teachers on the run,
but I'll give you this.
513
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,120
You do scrub up pretty well.
514
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,320
Now, you totter along to the kitchen
to help out,
515
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,400
for all those lovely dinner ladies
walked out when you walked in.
516
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,400
And, eh, son?
517
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,000
Make sure that food's de-fuckin'-licious,
Michelin star,
518
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,680
or you'll be walkin' round
in my knickers and bra.
519
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,160
[door opens]
520
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,320
[door closes]
521
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,440
[Jamie] So, I guess you come here a lot…
522
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,680
to visit Dad's ashes?
523
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:57,640
Yeah, yeah,
we make the trip every week or so.
524
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,720
It's boring.
525
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,080
Doesn't have to be boring.
526
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,160
Jamie's brought you summat.
Give it to him.
527
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,320
This?
528
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,240
No, no, I didn't bring this to play with.
529
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,400
It's, um…
530
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,160
It's some kid's birthday on our street.
531
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,000
He's mentally deficient.
532
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,240
That's really good of you, mate.
533
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,160
[funny music playing]
534
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,800
These are a little basic, aren't they?
535
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,800
At this level, they really should be up
to a higher standard.
536
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,320
[gibberish]
537
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,480
In order to draw like the child,
one must think like the child, ya?
538
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,840
They are children.
539
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,000
Oh, you are a man who understands art.
540
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,200
Well, I…
541
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,320
Well, I do dabble, yes.
542
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,160
[phone rings]
543
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,400
Yeah, Yeah!
You do dabble.
544
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,240
Billy, give me some good news.
545
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,160
They've sold the server on already.
546
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,120
The problem is it's to another school.
547
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,400
Look, just delay your man. I'm on it.
548
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,160
Right, I'll wait here.
549
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:24,240
It's your wife.
550
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,280
Well, I can't just walk
into a strange school, can I?
551
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,360
Everyone'll think I'm a paedo.
552
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,080
You can't hang
around the school gates either.
553
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,760
You'll look even more paedotastic,
so grow some.
554
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,560
[alarm blares]
555
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,680
[kids shouting]
556
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,680
Right, which one's the server?
557
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,040
That big thing there.
558
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,800
Maybe you should have unplugged it first.
559
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,080
Has everyone just ran off and left you?
560
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,080
Animals, man, the lot of 'em.
561
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,360
-Billy.
-It's wrong.
562
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,520
The wheels.
563
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,560
We're going to hell, we're going to hell,
we're going to hell!
564
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,120
["NORGAARD" playing]
565
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,640
Oh!
566
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,640
["NORGAARD" continuous]
567
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,840
[kids shouting]
568
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,640
[indistinct chatter]
569
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,960
[indistinct chatter]
570
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,160
Go, go!
571
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,640
So, dad…
572
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,800
Our dad.
573
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,480
Where d'you scatter the ashes?
574
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,720
Over the flowerbed.
575
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,480
It's what he wanted.
576
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,720
He used to sit here on the bench.
577
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,400
He loved it here.
578
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,280
I suppose I should go and say something.
579
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:52,680
[sighs]
580
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,800
I have no fuckin' idea
what I'm doing here.
581
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,320
I mean, you're a pile of ashes
in a flowerbed.
582
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:03,480
You obviously can't hear me.
583
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,720
Are you exclusive?
584
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:08,920
You and the big lad?
585
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:13,000
'Cause I ain't got a girlfriend
at the moment and I can be…
586
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,680
very discreet.
587
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,440
Blah, blah, blah.
588
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,720
Talking to a fucking flowerbed.
589
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,200
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
590
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,160
So, uh…
591
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,240
Yeah, I hope you would
have been proud of me.
592
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:34,800
It's unlikely but I hope so.
593
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,320
Nice one, mate.
594
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,840
[sighs]
595
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,000
Late for school.
596
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,200
There's punishment for that.
597
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,240
Mmm, I was kind of hoping there would be.
598
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,320
Just pay the fucking bills on time,
you alcoholic twatbag.
599
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:02,400
All right, Mimes?
600
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,800
No, we're not all right.
601
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,960
Does anyone know anything about computers?
602
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,160
Yeah, I know a little bit.
603
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,200
Good, because we've got
about three minutes
604
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:10,760
to get this server up and running
605
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,960
before the inspector
gets to the computer room
606
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,360
and I've no fuckin' idea
what a server actually does.
607
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:17,480
Come on.
608
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,400
No, no, other cable.
609
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,920
You don't think she suspects anything,
do you?
610
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,640
Apart from you being an alkie
who can't pay your bills on time?
611
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:28,680
No.
612
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,520
Second time this week
we've almost been caught.
613
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,120
You don't think
we're one of those couples who, you know?
614
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,160
Get off on danger?
615
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:35,880
Nah.
616
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,240
In fact, it makes me even more frustrated.
617
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:40,800
I want to do normal things.
618
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,040
Why don't we, then?
619
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,400
Tonight. Grand Hotel. Meal, get drunk.
620
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,920
It's weird, isn't it?
621
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,280
It just feels right.
622
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,720
Yeah.
623
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:53,880
It does that.
624
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,640
[footsteps approaching]
625
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:57,720
Everything good?
626
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,760
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.
627
00:31:58,840 --> 00:31:59,800
[servers whizzing]
628
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,280
Never been better.
629
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,600
OK, so we have lift off.
630
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,320
[keyboard clacking]
631
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,480
[strikes keys repeatedly]
632
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,600
[sighs] Come on.
633
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:10,920
Oh.
634
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,880
Yeah.
635
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:18,640
Oh!
636
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,600
[indistinct speech]
637
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,280
Just another hour and we're in the clear.
638
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,600
[indistinct speech]
639
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,720
You're really into all this, aren't you?
640
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,440
The school, the way
the kids look up to you, the teachers.
641
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,240
It's called protecting your investment.
642
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:38,680
You sure that's all it is?
643
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,280
Course I'm fuckin' sure.
644
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,680
These corridors are paved with gold
645
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,560
and it's all going
straight into my pocket.
646
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:45,840
All right.
647
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,160
If anyone's too into this, it's your Dom.
648
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,520
Yeah.
649
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,280
A real showman, that one.
650
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:52,760
[indistinct speech]
651
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,480
He just loves pretending
to be somebody else.
652
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,960
[indistinct speech]
653
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,120
Is there a union we can join or something?
654
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,720
Lil, you do realise
we're not real teachers, right?
655
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,000
Well, you might not be a real teacher.
656
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,160
Pizza?
657
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,640
Really?
658
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,520
Well, it covers four of the…
659
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,160
Stop babbling.
660
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,480
You're getting a pass.
661
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,920
A weak one with notes in the margin
but it's still a pass.
662
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,040
I've always tried to maintain
the highest standards.
663
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,920
The less you speak,
the better it'll be for everybody.
664
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,400
[door creaks]
665
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,840
[door squeaks]
666
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,520
[oven beeps]
667
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,960
Oh, shite!
668
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,239
Get out!
669
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,719
Get out!
670
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:24,880
[explosion]
671
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,679
[alarm blares]
672
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,040
[kids screaming]
673
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,000
[coughing]
674
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,159
We shouldn't be exposed
to these kinds of things.
675
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,960
We're fuckin' courtesans,
ladies of pleasure.
676
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,360
Fire! Fire!
677
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:56,800
Coming through! Fire!
678
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,560
What was that?
679
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,400
Al-Qaeda
or the fucking paddies starting up?
680
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:25,600
"Let Hercules himself do what he may.
681
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,840
The cat will mew
and dog will have his day."
682
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,280
That is from Hamlet
683
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,200
and it means
you are all in a hell a lot of trouble!
684
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,960
[Mimi] I feel sorry for you.
685
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:57,360
You went to all that effort to set up
those microwaves, the cans in them.
686
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,200
Big boom and you didn't even scratch me.
687
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,480
I mean, that's pathetic.
688
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:11,240
There are kids your age in Sierra Leone,
with AK-47s
689
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,680
and twice the balls you'll ever have!
690
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,400
You know,
when I first heard about you, I thought,
691
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,640
"Maybe here's a lad
who's going to show me something new.
692
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,280
Something interesting.
693
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,200
Maybe he'll even surprise me."
694
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,960
But you can't, can you, Adam?
695
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,680
Because you're mediocre.
696
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,320
And you always will be.
697
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,440
[scoffs]
698
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:50,480
So, how does it feel,
now you've spoken to dad?
699
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:51,520
Yeah, great.
700
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,520
Like, you know, a weight off my mind.
701
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,440
No, I can't do this, Kas.
702
00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,560
I didn't feel a thing.
703
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,040
I'm a bad person, this was a mistake.
704
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,080
Jamie…
705
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,480
I've done time in jail,
706
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,360
I've been involved in shit
that would turn your shite white.
707
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,240
You're clever, you're driven.
708
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,160
You've got this great kid
who's all sorted.
709
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,400
I'm just a fuck-up.
710
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:14,720
What? It's not funny, it's…
711
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,880
Jamie.
712
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,160
I lied to you.
713
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:21,840
Dad's ashes weren't scattered here.
714
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,280
Then where are they scattered?
715
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:27,360
Dunno.
716
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,720
I don't even know where they are.
717
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,000
Left 'em in the back of a taxi
when I was doing a runner.
718
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:33,040
Why?
719
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,160
Well, because it was 8.50 quid
and I only had a fiver on me
720
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:37,280
and you know
they always fiddle the meter anyway.
721
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,640
Why did you tell me they were here,
acting all serious?
722
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,240
Because I thought that's what you wanted.
723
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,120
I'm only here
because I thought it's what you wanted!
724
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:53,680
Mate, I'm a fuck-up too.
725
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,880
Not just losing Dad's ashes.
726
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,800
I mean, I've been bankrupt.
727
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:01,280
And Tam, well…
728
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,920
Well, they gave him
a little holiday from school
729
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,520
for sending photos of his cock
to the English teacher!
730
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,440
[phone beeps]
731
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,600
Looks like he's just shown it
to my missus.
732
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:24,600
The point is, fucking-up happens.
733
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,320
And I figure, two brothers,
walking around, acting all serious,
734
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,960
trying to make the other one feel better.
735
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,320
Well, it can't all be bad.
736
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,200
Right?
737
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:39,840
You really are a fuck-up.
738
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,400
[kids screaming]
739
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:48,440
No. No.
740
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:49,960
[kids screaming]
741
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,720
Fight, fight, fight!
742
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,960
Listen, you can't blame Banbury for this.
743
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,440
He let a kid come back.
744
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,040
Teachers walked out.
745
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:07,520
Look.
746
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,720
I'm going to be nice and save you
the trouble of a beautiful speech,
747
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:16,560
some wonderful oration
to melt my heart and stay my pen.
748
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,160
It's not going to happen.
749
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:22,800
There are rules!
750
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,840
Regulations!
751
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,960
Correct ways of doing things.
752
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,160
He touched me!
753
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:31,960
What?
754
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,000
Him.
755
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,960
He touched me, in my private area,
in the toilets.
756
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,520
This… This is ridiculous!
757
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,720
Obviously just another set-up.
758
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,600
Nothing to do with me.
759
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,160
Nobody is going to believe him.
760
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:47,720
All allegations of abuse
must be dealt with seriously.
761
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,760
If the child is in immediate trouble,
the police should be called.
762
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,880
Otherwise, it must be taken
to the council Children's Services.
763
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,600
These are the rules, the regulations,
the correct way of doing things.
764
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,000
I'm sure your name will be cleared.
765
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,520
Family, friends, colleagues
won't ever think less of you.
766
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,440
No nagging doubts.
767
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,600
Smoke without fire, so to speak.
768
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,000
Are you threatening me?
769
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,440
Offering you a solution, love.
770
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,960
One word in this kid's ear
and he'll keep his trap shut.
771
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,440
I'll make sure the teachers come back,
the world keeps turning,
772
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:29,680
and you can wheel on in next week,
full inspection, proper this time.
773
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,400
You've no justification for this.
774
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,480
I am here to make sure
the school runs properly.
775
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,920
Believe me, I give more of a shite
about this place than anyone else.
776
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,840
You have my word on that.
777
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,920
Your word!
778
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,360
I don't even know what you are!
779
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,600
I'm Mrs. Tutton, head of the PTA.
780
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,800
OK, that got my attention.
781
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,720
Now, go away
and ask about the Maguire family.
782
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,720
Look 'em up online.
783
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,640
Have a read, have a think.
784
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,040
Could always use someone like you…
785
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,960
when you get out.
786
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:25,040
Because the way you're going now,
it's Borstal, then Strangeways,
787
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,040
then a life pissed away!
788
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,880
And I'd hate to see that happen.
789
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,640
You can take those glasses off now.
790
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:44,680
Oh, I like them,
791
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,080
makes me look intellectual,
even more intellectual.
792
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,640
We can nip away every so often.
Be someone else, like we were today.
793
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,640
So, we'd lie about who we are.
794
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:55,800
"Lie" is a bit strong.
795
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,160
It's more like
we'd have secret identities.
796
00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,480
[sighs]
797
00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:06,760
Don't you think if we have to work
that hard to try and hide something…
798
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,000
well, then there's a bigger problem
at the heart of it all?
799
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,840
Let he who is without sin
cast the first stone.
800
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,320
I'll give you that, Dom.
801
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,680
You always manage to find faith somewhere.
802
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:38,240
Come on.
803
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,960
This was a fucking disaster.
804
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,560
Oh, come on, Russell.
805
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,720
You've got another shot at the inspection.
806
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,560
Adam Wiggins is out your hair,
and all the teachers are back on Monday.
807
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:05,080
I believe there's something
you want to say to me.
808
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,120
Thank you, Mrs. Tutton.
809
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,120
[sighs]
810
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:23,920
[door closes]
811
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,240
[Dom] Maybe the thing
about our secret identities
812
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,120
is that they might be hidden
to ourselves.
813
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,040
Oh, you remind me of that fella.
814
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,320
Who's that? James Bond?
815
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:35,480
No, the other one.
816
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,720
Simon Templar, the Saint?
817
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,160
Hurricane Higgins.
818
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,920
[smooches]
819
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:46,280
[Dom] Like the man who discovered
the simple joys of a hard day's work.
820
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,840
On the house.
821
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,600
Oh, cheers.
822
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,440
Eh, you did good today, kid.
823
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,440
They'll be calling this place St Mimi's
before too long.
824
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:01,560
Shut up.
825
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,320
[laughs]
826
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,400
Just do half this time, eh?
827
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,760
[Dom] Or the woman who found her place
828
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,720
a million miles
from where she expected it.
829
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,440
That's a million miles metaphorically,
obviously.
830
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,120
Not like she went to outer space,
you know, Mars or something.
831
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:26,160
Or the boy who grew up and found
a brother he had more in common with
832
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:27,480
that he'd ever have realised.
833
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:28,640
There's room for one more, mate.
834
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,680
[laughs]
835
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:35,920
Cheers, mate.
836
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,320
Nice to meet you.
837
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,520
[Dom] And the man who found love,
found a purpose in life.
838
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,840
Had searched for God
in the strangest of places,
839
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:57,200
but found it in her crooked smile,
her dolphin blue eyes,
840
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,360
the way her hair hung upon her face.
841
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,160
But didn't realise
that wasn't who he was at all.
842
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,040
Are you waiting for someone?
843
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,600
[Dom] He was just a man
waiting for the girl he loved…
844
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,640
No.
845
00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:18,000
[Dom] …who was never going to show.
846
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,240
And she told herself that
this was for the best,
847
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,160
that leaving was the only thing
she could do.
848
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,400
She would be just be Gloria again.
849
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,920
Somewhere else.
850
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,800
You keep the takings in a railway locker?
851
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:35,160
They're very secure, them lockers.
852
00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:37,600
She reckons there's upwards of three grand
in there by now.
853
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:38,640
She never counts it.
854
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,560
[Mimi] Problem with a teacher
letting the side down,
855
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,800
the headmaster has personally asked me
to sort her out.
856
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,400
Stick with me,
I'll make a new woman of you.
857
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,320
Twelve grand, and that's just this lot.
858
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,720
All she's expecting is a couple of stags.
859
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,440
[Marty] Me and Kelly, come into
a bit of money, ripped it off!
860
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,320
-You want to launder some money?
-Shh!
861
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:56,920
Are you robbing us?
862
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,240
[knock at door]
863
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,280
-[Sherilee] Come on, Frank!
-[Derilee] Come back out!
864
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,080
[Sherilee] Frank!
865
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,400
[Frank] OK.
866
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:48,160
OK.
867
00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:53,160
[door creaks]
868
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,160
[spooky smile]
869
00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,960
Ah, you fuckin' parasite,
you war criminal!
870
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:06,960
Fuck it.
871
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,720
Let's have another go on the swing.
61142
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