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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,520
[tapping]
2
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,320
Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all
3
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,520
about knowing fuck all about owt,
needs to watch their backs!
4
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,480
Oh!
5
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:18,360
So you've had your Labour, reclassifying
skunk, sending prices sky-high.
6
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,240
Literally, literally,
taking the grass from its own roots.
7
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,080
And now you've got your Con-Dem-Nation.
8
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,840
Liberals noshing Tories
like altar boys picking dimps up.
9
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,320
Have we had a national
fucking stroke or what?
10
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,120
Is revolution a word or was it never?
11
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,920
Anybody watching needs to know,
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,160
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
13
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,480
Well, for fuck's sake,
we live in Manchester,
14
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,360
and they charge us for water?
15
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,040
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found.
16
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,760
This green
and pleasant land in ancient time.
17
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,360
Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak!
18
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,640
It's not theirs any more.
19
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,800
-This is our England now!
-[cheering]
20
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,720
Party!
21
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,480
[theme music]
22
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,320
[phone beeps]
23
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,160
[Karen] My husband has killed men.
24
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,480
I don't know how many,
25
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,400
I don't know the circumstances.
26
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,920
I do know better than to ask.
27
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,200
There's a dark side to my husband.
28
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,840
He has secrets.
29
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,560
Defends what is his.
30
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,320
It's in his blood,
generation after generation.
31
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,640
Do not cross my husband lightly.
32
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,840
Because if he finds you…
33
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,560
he will exact a terrible revenge.
34
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,040
[phone rings]
35
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,400
-I'll get it.
-No, it's all right.
36
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,280
I've got it. Go back to sleep.
37
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,920
[door closes]
38
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:06,760
Hello?
39
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,400
This has to stop.
40
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,480
You better stay in your hole,
you little prick,
41
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,160
because I'll cut your throat
from ear to fucking ear.
42
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,960
-Everything all right?
-Yeah. Wrong number.
43
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,600
Let's go back to bed.
44
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:35,520
Cheers.
45
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,760
[Frank] Cheers now.
46
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,560
-South African?
-Yes.
47
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,120
You are a white South African?
48
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,720
Batons and Soweto and Steve Biko?
49
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,600
Desmond Mandela, and the rest.
50
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:56,520
My father went out there after the war
to be a policeman for a party.
51
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,280
Apartheid.
52
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,160
They know
how to treat the police out there.
53
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,720
They've got maids,
gardeners, servants, the lot.
54
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,680
And a proper respect for the law.
55
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,880
-You must've had a passport before now.
-Didn't need one.
56
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,920
I've never been north of Bury,
or south of Stockport.
57
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,760
These are
for the citizenship test, Lillian.
58
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,880
Why would you need a citizen…
59
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,560
You're not a British citizen?
60
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,160
There were a load of forms
to fill in, I couldn't be bothered.
61
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,000
Woo, yeah!
62
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,160
Hey, come on, pace yourself,
son, it's a Snickers, not a sprint.
63
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,160
Come on, Frank,
I'm just getting warmed up.
64
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:37,120
Eh, Señorita! Come on, drinks all round.
65
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,600
Oh, you beauty!
66
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,960
Click your fingers at me again,
67
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,000
and you'll be tickling
your prostate with them.
68
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,720
[laughter]
69
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,200
I do apologise.
70
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,480
-Oh, hello, is the nursery full?
-I heard the slap, didn't I?
71
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,000
-Do it again. Please…
-[laughter]
72
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,960
When we ask for a drink,
we ask with some fucking good grace.
73
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,640
Some fucking good grace.
74
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,440
Well, we would be most grateful
if we could have a top up, please.
75
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,560
Better.
76
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,800
You know what? That might've been one
of the most erotic moments of my life.
77
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,240
I think you're confusing sex
with corporal punishment. Schoolboy error.
78
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,839
You know that I'm good
with the ladies, better than most.
79
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,240
-Oh, you think so, do you? Oh, right. Oh.
-Yeah.
80
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,200
-Watch and learn, son.
-Go on.
81
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,160
[clears throat]
Could I interest you--
82
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,160
Not unless you had
a full head and body transplant.
83
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,360
-Crashed and burned.
-[laughter]
84
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,800
Mock if you must,
but I have spread my seed plenty wide.
85
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,320
-Flying solo doesn't count, Frank.
-Solo!
86
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,520
Dominos?
87
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:50,400
-Anything?
-Uh, just bills and stuff. Don't worry.
88
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:51,680
Just got to, er…
89
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,080
Come on, then, you fucking coward! Eh!
90
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,160
[Shane] Shadow boxing again, eh?
91
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,400
-What are you sneaking around for?
-Fuck.
92
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,520
I'm not sneaking around.
I've got four pounds of fucking weed here.
93
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,080
Do you think I'm gonna go in
through the front door?
94
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,920
That was out of order.
95
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,960
-Pressure.
-Oh, apology accepted.
96
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,680
I didn't fucking apologise.
97
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,600
Yeah, one of these days,
I'm gonna hit back.
98
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,120
A little alcohol, but definitely no weed,
99
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,320
or her larynx
will swell like a baboon's arse,
100
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,640
then she'll be smoking
through a hole in her neck.
101
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,840
It's for my time.
It's taking up more and more of my day.
102
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,760
I've noticed.
103
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,760
Meaning?
104
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,720
Don't pick a fight
just cos you've got a guilty conscience.
105
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,200
Her mother's not got a pot to piss in.
106
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,480
That lot would've cost her
60 quid over the counter.
107
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,840
So, you're the Great Provider.
108
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,120
-I hear you.
-Yak, yak, fucking yak.
109
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,400
Swear and wear a micro-mini,
that'll get you ahead in life.
110
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,040
-Start smoking while you're at it.
-I already do.
111
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,720
[door opens and closes]
112
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,440
I'm helping people.
113
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:25,960
-So what you gonna spend your earnings on?
-Is that what your big book tells you?
114
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,800
How to be a smart arse?
115
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,120
You've convinced yourself
what you're doing is right, haven't you?
116
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,120
It is.
117
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,960
[Dominic] You've got to ask yourself this:
118
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,480
when was the last time
you got your end away?
119
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,040
Twice, this morning, and a blowy.
120
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,080
Oh. Fuck.
121
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,160
-I have recently, frequently--
-Thought not.
122
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,360
Don't try and out-sex me.
How many women have you poked?
123
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,280
I haven't got a clue.
124
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,720
A-ha.
125
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,800
Look, the point is,
him, he's starting out.
126
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:02,240
Me… I guess I'm at my prime.
You, you're a spent force.
127
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,440
I mean pretty soon, your sex life
will be consigned to history.
128
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,680
Like Spangles.
129
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,080
Oh. I'm out.
130
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,800
Gotta start me shift.
131
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,560
Thirty-two. And a half.
132
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,920
-How many I've shagged.
-I'll be back in a couple of hours, yeah?
133
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,040
-Everything all right?
-Why wouldn't it be?
134
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,280
Twenty minutes, see you then.
135
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,520
-[Mimi] Where you off?
-Lock up in Gorton. There's been a fire.
136
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,640
-Have we lost--
-The lot. We've lost the lot.
137
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,840
-Who the fuck knew about Gorton?
-No-one.
138
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,960
Had to give the lads
a postcode so they could Sat-Nav it.
139
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,720
-You need company?
-No. I'll be back as soon as.
140
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,640
[laughter]
141
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,120
-What they laughing at?
-Pair of dinosaurs.
142
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,800
Take their bras off,
and their tits'll hit their knees.
143
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,120
Wouldn't be a teenager again
for all the money in the world.
144
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,560
Oh, I fucking would.
145
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,960
The damage I could cause,
knowing what I know now.
146
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,560
[Avril chuckles]
147
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,480
Sandy Alexander dropped this off.
Urine sample.
148
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,560
"Any chance of the results
by Tuesday", he says.
149
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,680
From Patty Croker, in case
you'd forgotten the last set.
150
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,640
Patty's been warned off
every GP's practice in North Manchester,
151
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,520
and Sandy…
152
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,200
I think he's diabetic.
153
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,640
You're diagnosing people?
154
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,880
I'm putting tests into the system.
155
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,440
They send off hundreds
to the lab every day.
156
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,000
What's the point
of having knowledge if you don't apply it?
157
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,720
[Aidan] What do you think
of them as a couple?
158
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,039
-She'd have him for breakfast.
-He's a big lad, your dad.
159
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:47,320
Yeah, but she's a right dirty scrubber.
You can tell.
160
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,600
Mm. True.
161
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,480
-Totally clear?
-Absolutely.
162
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,360
Jamie?
163
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,880
It was nailed to the door.
164
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,000
Whose is it?
165
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,000
My wife's.
166
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,760
Sixteen thousand four hundred twenty-one
souls.
167
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,680
That's how many I've boffed.
168
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,000
-Before or after lunch?
-Life-time, smart arse.
169
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,720
It's a very precise number.
170
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,120
Not 16,500, 16,421.
171
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,200
Total population of the Chatsworth,
172
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:56,360
according to the census of 2011,
as reported on Mancapedia.
173
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,720
What?
You've fucked everyone on the Chatsworth?
174
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,240
That's one a day since you were eight.
175
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:07,160
-365 times 53, your age, minus 16--
-Stop.
176
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,760
Fuck off and count matchsticks
or lines on the road, you gimp.
177
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,280
By association.
178
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,560
Sex degrees of separation.
179
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,960
Not a single individual
on the Chatsworth that I have not fucked,
180
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,000
-once or twice removed.
-That's bollocks.
181
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:23,920
Yeah?
182
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,360
I've had him.
183
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,600
-I think I would've remembered.
-[Dominic chuckles]
184
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,680
-I fucked her.
-Oi!
185
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,960
She regularly humps her hubby, presumably.
186
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,520
-More fool him.
-Again, oi!
187
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,240
Hubby slithered out
of the scally muff of his mother,
188
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,880
where young William
frequently deposits his juvenile jizz.
189
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,520
Therefore, by association,
190
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,680
I have jizzed where he has jizzed,
191
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,920
though I jizzed there first, so to speak.
192
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,560
-How long's this been going on?
-Couple of weeks.
193
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:04,840
At first, I thought it was
just some numpty fancying his chances,
194
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,680
but it's got to be a team.
They're all over us.
195
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,960
Where we are, who we're with,
when we're in or out.
196
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,360
I had to shred my bank cards this morning.
Someone's been having a go at my accounts.
197
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,440
This is the real deal, Mam.
198
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,440
It could be coming from any direction.
199
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,240
-Have you told Karen?
-She'd fucking freak.
200
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,640
I think you'd better.
Forewarned and all that.
201
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:40,720
You're gonna have to smoke them out.
Find out who and then you'll know why.
202
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,760
My little swimmers
course through the blood-streams of all.
203
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:51,040
-Female or male. I am omni-gender.
-I'll put it on your tab.
204
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,920
-See, anyone can do that.
-Oh, yeah?
205
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,720
Well, have a go, Rob Roy McGregor.
You'll soon hit a hurdle.
206
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:01,720
I have, for example,
deposited my stuff in your little McMuff.
207
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,560
Bullshit. And let's try and keep it clean.
208
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,480
I rode Angie, who fucked Colin G…
209
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,400
who shagged Tricia Patterson,
who's the wife of young Danny,
210
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,440
who's been dipping his wick
in you recently, if I'm not much mistaken.
211
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,840
Though not a lot of people
are aware of the fact.
212
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,080
Fucking married?
213
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,280
-[laughter]
-I am not.
214
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,400
So, sex degrees of separation.
215
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:29,600
I like it.
216
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:33,960
And the beauty of it is, every time
one of these rides someone new,
217
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,520
my tally expands.
218
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,760
Now how's that "history"?
219
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:40,920
Pint!
220
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,960
See you.
221
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,000
Hiya.
222
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,400
See you, sexy.
223
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,880
Seems unfair. I've paid taxes all my life.
224
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,200
No, you haven't!
225
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,920
Not a farthing, ever. You're the one
the Daily Mail warns us about.
226
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,200
Chocolate? Party at yours then, is it?
227
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,600
Got a lot of revising to do.
Lillian wants a passport.
228
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,520
In order to get one,
she has to take a citizenship test.
229
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,000
-Eh?
-She was born abroad,
230
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,960
never bothered to get naturalised.
231
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,400
Hiya.
232
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,480
Now she's tossed
her hat in the passport ring,
233
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:44,600
if she fails the test,
234
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,320
she'll be deported
for being an illegal immigrant.
235
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,040
[Chesney laughs]
236
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,560
C'mon, trigger.
237
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,480
Something to say?
238
00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,400
No.
239
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,000
[Chesney laughs]
240
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,720
Fuck.
241
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,680
-Her middle name's Finola?
-That's not the issue.
242
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:22,640
Are you totally sure?
243
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,080
White blood cell count is off the scale.
244
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,600
Red blood cell count is in her boots.
245
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,840
It's not a good combination, Jackson.
246
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,920
It's not a real name, is it, Finola?
It sounds more like a pet's name.
247
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,200
You have to tell her. Get her to a doctor.
248
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,000
A, you're not gonna get Patty
anywhere near a doctor,
249
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,720
and B, no way
am I telling her she's dying.
250
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,600
-Patty's dying?
-No!
251
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,840
Maybe. We don't know.
252
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,080
I've got to tell Aidan.
253
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,120
You wanna live till you're 17,
you'll say nothing.
254
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,520
-Where are you going?
-[Jackson] Town.
255
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,960
While she's all grown up
and out trying to bag a footballer
256
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,880
and you're playing
Doctor Dolittle, I've got a life.
257
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,520
With great knowledge
comes great responsibility.
258
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,920
You have to tell her.
259
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,960
Just to get warmed up.
[clears throat]
260
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,840
How many Parliamentary Constituencies
are there?
261
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,560
Seven.
262
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,880
Close. Six hundred and fifty.
263
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,680
But they'll probably give
multiple-choice in the test, so stick in.
264
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,600
What is the difference
in the average hourly wage
265
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:39,680
for men and women?
266
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,640
Five,
ten or twenty percent lower for women?
267
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,360
Higher.
268
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,560
No, sweetness. Lower.
269
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,440
-Higher.
-It's not a fucking game!
270
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,920
I didn't get the question.
271
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,200
Simpler one.
272
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,400
How old was the Queen Mother
when she passed away?
273
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,320
What?
274
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,000
-How old was the Queen Mother--
-The Queen Mother's not dead.
275
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:06,920
Come again?
276
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,360
She stole the show
when William married Kate.
277
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,800
With her gin and her horses,
278
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,480
and all the young men oiled
and sent up to her room.
279
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,840
Except Barney.
280
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,080
What?
281
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,000
I've shagged everyone
on the Chatsworth except Barney.
282
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,080
There's no connection, nothing.
283
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,440
Ah, come on Frank. Not like it matters.
284
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,760
There, there, there.
You can't win them all.
285
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,200
Take them to the usual place
and I'll be there soon as I can.
286
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,720
And, Benny,
tell absolutely no-one, understand?
287
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,960
Just nipping to the park.
288
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,839
-Have fun.
-See you in a bit, love.
289
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,760
-We're on.
-Be careful.
290
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,840
Donnelly…
291
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,640
McCann…
292
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,320
Turk…
293
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,960
One of you cunts has been in my house,
294
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:58,360
rifling through my wife's knicker drawer,
taking pictures of my son, my family.
295
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,560
Now I wanna know who sent you and why.
296
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,240
[man] Fuck you, Maguire.
297
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,120
Three…
298
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,600
two…
299
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:14,880
one.
300
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,960
-Yah!
-Oh.
301
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,160
Strike one!
302
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,120
Look at him taunting me.
303
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,840
He's a big cock-tease, right enough.
304
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,480
You know the worst of it?
305
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,800
He fucking loves
our deep fried double bacon burgers.
306
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,600
Can't get enough of it.
307
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:53,440
He's at my work every fucking day
reminding me of my one failure.
308
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:57,760
Failing to have fucked him by association
is your biggest failure in life?
309
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,280
My one and only.
310
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,960
[Connor crying]
311
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,640
Jesus Christ!
312
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,160
Dump them somewhere public,
send out a statement.
313
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,640
-No problem, boss.
-[phone ringing]
314
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,240
-Mam, what's up?
-[Mimi] They hit Karen.
315
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:20,440
I'll be right there.
316
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,400
Fuck!
317
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,440
Ready for some questions, Champ?
318
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,640
I was born ready.
319
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,680
-What do you want for Christmas, lovely?
-Michael Jackson tickets.
320
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,520
Special guest appearance by…
321
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,680
Whitney.
322
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,360
If money were no object,
where would you go on your holidays?
323
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,520
New York. Dine at that restaurant
on top of them Twin Towers.
324
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,160
Three hundred and eighty degrees view
across Manhat-ley.
325
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,400
-What's happened?
-She was grabbed in the park.
326
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,880
Slapped her about the face
in front of Connor.
327
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,480
Then he stuffed this
down the front of her shirt.
328
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:21,880
[Karen] What's going on?
329
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,680
What the fuck is going on?
330
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,240
This isn't the first threat
that's been made.
331
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,840
Well, how many?
332
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,320
Eight maybe.
333
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:40,720
Who is it?
334
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,560
I'm out of ideas.
335
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,400
Have you done something to put us at risk?
336
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,320
No.
337
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,920
I am properly scared, Jamie.
338
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,480
How many were there?
339
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,160
I saw one.
340
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,880
[Mimi] Tell him what he said.
341
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,720
That Connor is a legitimate target.
342
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,720
[Avril] They will do a second test.
Have a consultant examine you.
343
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,680
Things they can do these days…
344
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,480
How many drinks did you have
before you could tell me this?
345
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,360
A few.
346
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,480
I'm probably wrong.
347
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,200
I've no idea what I'm doing.
348
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,440
No, you'll not be wrong.
There's no mistake.
349
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:44,120
Leukaemia took my mother, and her sister,
and my grandfather before them.
350
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,200
I knew it would come at some point.
351
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,720
-We'll get you to a doctor first thing.
-You'll do no such thing.
352
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,200
If I have it,
I'll not be spending my last days
353
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,160
having radio waves shot through me.
354
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,720
How far gone do you think I am?
355
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,200
I can't possibly know that.
356
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,480
Yesterday, you thought
you were Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
357
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,000
You saw the results.
You must have an idea.
358
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,680
Thank you.
359
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,760
If you'll excuse me, I have things to do.
360
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,600
-How is he?
-He's fine. Don't think he knows.
361
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,280
I couldn't bear it
if something happened to him.
362
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,000
It won't.
363
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,320
Maybe you should leave. It might be safer.
364
00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,680
I'm not going anywhere.
365
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,720
Besides, what would we be
without each other, eh?
366
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,360
What the fuck?
367
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,520
Woah, woah, woah. Stop it!
368
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,480
This country
is brought to its knees by immigrants.
369
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,440
I'm second generation Bradford!
370
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,600
[Lillian] I'm an immigrant.
371
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,600
You're an immigrant!
372
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,520
I'm Irish. God's chosen tribe.
373
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,840
You don't even believe in God.
374
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,960
-I believe in Ireland.
-Piss off.
375
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,560
[Irish music playing]
376
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:58,680
Oh, how cute…
377
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,920
Aw…
378
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,080
-Boy or girl?
-Girl.
379
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,200
That's the ugliest fecking baby
I ever saw.
380
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,160
Looks like the Michelin Man ate
Angel Delight and took a dump.
381
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:17,760
You.
382
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,760
It is time you embarked
on the rest of your life
383
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,560
and stopped dressing and behaving
like a Jack Russell
384
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,960
-in lipstick and heels.
-I beg your pardon?
385
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,320
Another couple of years,
386
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,240
folk'll start thinking
you actually are a transvestite,
387
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,200
rather than merely resembling one.
388
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,520
Who spiked your sherry?
389
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,000
Ah! From Middle Earth
comes the dulcet tones
390
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,640
of the Scouse Skank unleashed.
391
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,720
-Who the fuck do you think you're--
-Ah. Now, get back in your box.
392
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,120
You've the face
that sank a thousand ships.
393
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,120
No wonder your husband
ran off to be with the lady-boys.
394
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,480
As for you…
395
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,680
Wheelchair or not,
I will kick you in the minge.
396
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,640
That's all one needs to know about you.
397
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,800
It's a tremendous sense of freedom.
398
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,320
All right, Barney?
399
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,520
All right?
400
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,520
Prick tease.
401
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,400
Eh, Barney, wait. Hold up.
402
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,160
Love the old deep fried
double bacon burgers, eh?
403
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,720
Heaven sent.
404
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:41,600
You know, after the breakfast rush,
we toss a whole bunch of them.
405
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,520
They don't want them reheated.
406
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,480
-Very big on hygiene and that.
-I know.
407
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,320
Why don't you come by
tomorrow and I'll, you know,
408
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,520
put some in your direction,
409
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,160
save you forking out 3.50 for a pile
of old, you know, for a lovely meal.
410
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,600
[mumbling] Yeah, why not? Yeah.
411
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,000
What's going on?
412
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,440
Emergency review. Wrong patients
been getting the wrong results.
413
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,720
How many?
414
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,160
I mean,
415
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,400
-have they found anything?
-[Calum] Don't know.
416
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,320
It's not just us,
it's all over the North West.
417
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,680
Every hospital, every department.
418
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,400
Oh, well… That's good.
419
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,320
Russian Roulette with blood test results?
Proper spectator sport.
420
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,480
You sure you should be doing that?
421
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,640
My secrets are going with me…
422
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,560
you little gobshite.
423
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,480
Don't need to be so nasty.
424
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,240
Why on earth not?
Slutty little whore that you are?
425
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,320
[Aidan laughs]
426
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,840
[Avril] Blood tests all over the North
will need to be triple-checked.
427
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:02,480
Some lab in Durham
cutting costs or staff or whatever.
428
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,400
And that's good why?
429
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,160
They're re-testing Patty's sample.
The results were compromised.
430
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,160
She's outside the house now,
burning stuff.
431
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,160
You have to tell her
there's been a mistake.
432
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,200
Yeah, right.
433
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,520
She needs to know.
434
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,560
Please.
435
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:18,800
Shovel your own shit.
436
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,200
Oi, Reese Witherspoon.
If you're finished with your nails?
437
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,480
[clicks tongue]
438
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,200
Is he gone?
439
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,280
Sally will have him till the weekend.
440
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,160
Are you gonna be okay?
441
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,720
Couple more possibilities.
442
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,000
I'll have the lads with me.
443
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,640
There's a couple of guys downstairs,
inside and out. Everything will be fine.
444
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:03,720
Out. Now.
445
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,480
Is this you?
446
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,200
What is… Ow!
447
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,640
Are you threatening my family?
448
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,800
-No, I'm not! Don't be stupid.
-Who have you told about us?
449
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,760
-No-one.
-Dominic knew!
450
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,120
That was to save your fucking life.
451
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,960
Would Dominic have told anyone?
452
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,400
He keeps secrets for a living.
What is going on?
453
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,080
[phone ringing]
454
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,240
-[Karen] Jamie? Jamie, I'm sorry…
-Karen?
455
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,680
[distorted voice]
I'll call you at 6pm this evening,
456
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,600
let you know if she's still alive.
457
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,120
Jamie?
458
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:54,600
I'm sorry.
459
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,320
-[Jamie] How the fuck?
-We didn't know she'd gone out.
460
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,600
You should've told us.
I might've been able to help.
461
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,640
Don't give me the stare
cos I won't take it off you.
462
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,720
This isn't the time.
463
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,280
-What's the plan?
-Nothing to do till six o'clock.
464
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,360
We really don't know
anything about these fucks?
465
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,680
All the usual suspects, none of them.
That's what we know.
466
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:30,000
So, first of all, I was dying…
467
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,760
and now I am not dying.
468
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,000
I don't know.
They're gonna re-test your sample.
469
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,720
Chances are
you've just got a virus or something.
470
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,480
I destroyed my possessions
471
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,560
and allowed a bank transfer
of all my savings to my idiot daughter.
472
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,880
-[Jackson] How is Libby?
-She's an idiot, like she always was.
473
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,320
And don't try to distract
by feigning concern where you have none.
474
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,080
There's nothing noble
in telling a lie to protect a liar.
475
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:02,760
I've burnt my bridges left and right,
told everyone my true opinion,
476
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,840
that they're arseholes,
and now will be completely isolated.
477
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:16,200
We could say I gave you the wrong pills
and that you were confused.
478
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:21,960
Oh, because doolally and old folk
are natural bedfellows, of course!
479
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,080
I think we've heard enough stories
from you, don't you think?
480
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,280
You okay?
481
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,800
Getting there.
482
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,480
It's a recognised condition,
historophobia.
483
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,680
The American Medical Association
classifies it as a proper phobia.
484
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,240
So, it's just totally random?
485
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,880
No, no, no.
It's historical facts she can't cope with.
486
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,240
That would upset her
so she just blanks them out.
487
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,040
Pretends they never happened?
488
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,320
Yeah. Pretty much.
489
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,880
But then she'd have
to rewrite the whole of history.
490
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,560
That's what's fascinating, see?
491
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,560
She's created this whole complex narrative
in her own head.
492
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,280
She lives in a parallel universe.
493
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,120
Well, that would explain
a great fucking deal.
494
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,160
Jamie.
495
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,600
Everything all right?
496
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,880
Mind your own business.
497
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,160
[phone ringing]
498
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,840
-I wanna fucking--
-[Karen] I'm all right.
499
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,720
Tell him to fuck right off.
500
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,360
Karen.
501
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,120
[distorted voice] You're still here?
I take it your wife's disposable.
502
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:00,200
Anything but.
503
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,120
She's done nothing.
504
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,000
Take me. I'll go anywhere, any time.
505
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,960
-Are you still there?
-[distorted voice] Tomorrow morning.
506
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,320
Be in your shitty Merc,
on Findhorn Road at nine a.m.
507
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,800
No vests, no mates,
no pals watching your arse.
508
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:23,320
Fine.
509
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,720
[distorted voice] You've put me
in a lot of trouble,
510
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,880
so make sure you bring 200 grand with you.
511
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:33,760
I don't have that kind of money.
512
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,680
[distorted voice] Then I'll kill
your wife.
513
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,920
Okay. We'll get a couple of motors,
plain but sharp, you know.
514
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,400
-Keep a distance.
-Too risky.
515
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,640
We'll never collect
200 grand across one night, love.
516
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,800
We could borrow it, but we might as well
paint targets on our backs.
517
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,200
Besides, if it's a choice
between you and her--
518
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,080
Will they stop there?
519
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,360
What if it's you next time? Or Cilla?
520
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:05,600
I've got the money.
521
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,440
You what?
522
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,040
[Jamie] I've got it.
523
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,600
Going away fund
in case of a moonlight flit.
524
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,040
If something happens…
525
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,000
take Karen and Connor
and help them start somewhere else,
526
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,160
away from here.
527
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,680
Who was Britain's first
woman prime minister?
528
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,600
Don't be silly, you can't have
a woman prime minister.
529
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:57,000
Who is the England football manager?
530
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,320
The Italian. You know,
the one that looks like Mrs. Brown.
531
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,480
Look, you fucking mad Afrikaner!
532
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,680
Even if you don't believe it,
learn it, pass the test,
533
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,920
or there'll be no passport
and no fucking holiday to Benidorm!
534
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,600
But I love them documentaries.
535
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,560
Just learn it,
parrot-fashion, try not to think.
536
00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:20,600
I'll try.
537
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,840
-She's got no chance.
-They'll deport her.
538
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,920
-[Gloria] Couldn't someone go with her?
-[Kelly] You think they let mates in?
539
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,639
No, but take the test alongside her.
Less intimidating if she had a pal there.
540
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,200
Keys.
541
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,880
Put these on. Put your own clothes inside.
542
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,240
Fuck you.
543
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,080
Wait!
544
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:29,960
[car door opens]
545
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,720
This how you get your kicks, is it?
Stripping men?
546
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,880
Follow the Sat-Nav.
547
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,080
When you get there,
leave the money in the car.
548
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:09,440
[Sat-Nav] Turn right.
549
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,160
Be right with you, two minutes.
550
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,680
Here we go.
551
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,080
The one that got away.
552
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,640
Yeah. Complete the set.
553
00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:29,480
[moaning]
554
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,640
-Frank?
-It's not what it looks like.
555
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:33,960
Oh!
556
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,520
Okay, maybe it is.
557
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:07,760
Hello?
558
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,200
-I'm unarmed!
-[car starts]
559
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,600
Oi! You fuck!
560
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,240
I'm here!
561
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,600
You got my money.
562
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,560
If I don't get my wife back
safe and smiling,
563
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,480
you will be found, you fuck!
564
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,000
Thank fuck. I thought they'd bluffed me.
565
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,640
-Are you all right, Karen?
-I will be.
566
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,200
Come on.
We need to get out of here. It's not safe.
567
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:23,800
Nobody's coming, Jamie.
568
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,400
Nobody's coming.
569
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:31,720
What are you talking about?
570
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:34,360
Just me.
571
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,360
[Karen's voice] Still here?
I take it your wife is disposable?
572
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,840
[distorted voice] Still here?
I take it your wife is disposable.
573
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,640
It's an app.
574
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:52,640
Any kid can get it for a couple of quid.
575
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,440
-You lied to me.
-[beep]
576
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,240
[phone beeps]
577
00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:08,120
-[beep]
-[phone rings]
578
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,680
-I'll get it.
-No, it's all right.
579
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,320
I've got it. Go back to sleep.
580
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,360
[Jamie] You better stay in your hole,
you little prick,
581
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,080
cos I will cut your throat
from ear to fucking ear.
582
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,840
[Karen] The phone calls,
the text messages…
583
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:25,920
[phone beeps]
584
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,440
…the pictures.
585
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,720
All me.
586
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,480
[Jamie] Guy in the park?
587
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:38,960
[Karen] Me. There was no guy.
588
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,280
Hi!
589
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,360
I went to great lengths
because this matters.
590
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,200
This is family.
591
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,760
The kidnapping?
592
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,760
A night in the Marriott.
It wasn't too shabby.
593
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,680
-Are you off your meds?
-No, you cunt.
594
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,040
You fucked Gloria.
595
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,360
You know, you could've fucked all
of Manchester and I'd never have known,
596
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,400
but you didn't.
597
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:18,760
-It was a mistake.
-Yeah, too fucking right.
598
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,240
-What if I'd left?
-Then I'd have known
599
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:21,920
that we don't matter to you.
600
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:24,240
But we do.
601
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:26,440
I do.
602
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,960
You stood up for your family.
603
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,040
Good for you.
604
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:40,920
I'm impressed.
605
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,320
Things will be different.
606
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,560
[Karen] Now, I'm in charge.
607
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,960
Though only you and I need to know that.
608
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,960
[Jamie] How's that gonna work?
609
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:03,920
[Karen] Every bit of money
610
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,520
comes through me, income and expenditure.
611
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,160
You probably think you can hide some,
612
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:13,440
like you did with the 200K,
but I will know.
613
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,480
And, by the way…
614
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:21,080
your going-away fund
is now my going-away fund.
615
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,720
What if it doesn't work?
616
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:33,960
It will.
617
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:36,480
You love me…
618
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,440
and despite all your weaknesses…
619
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,040
I love you.
620
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,520
Now, should anything ever happen to me,
621
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,320
my friend in the Ford
has a lot of information…
622
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,160
on your past…
623
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,360
and your present.
624
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,040
Who is he?
625
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,920
Every marriage has its secrets.
626
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,240
I know, and I'm sorry…
627
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,280
I'll be right with you.
628
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,240
-Everything all right?
-It's these fucking re-tests.
629
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,680
They want the drug history
of the ICU going back a month.
630
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,960
-Are these the false results?
-[Calum] No, they're originals.
631
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,880
All triple-checked. They're accurate.
632
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,040
-Are you sure?
-It's a good job you're pretty.
633
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,240
This is me final word on it
and I won't keep going on,
634
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:53,280
but there are reasons governments
and corporations don't pay ransoms.
635
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,200
Now every one of us is a target,
cos they know we'll pay out.
636
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,760
Thanks, Mum. I'm glad
you're not gonna keep going on about it.
637
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,040
I won't.
638
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,240
Hi, love.
639
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,200
Come on, Frank.
It's over, leave the man alone now.
640
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,680
[clears throat]
Yeah, you're probably right.
641
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,160
Things are better imperfect,
you know, they're not finished.
642
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:19,080
Will you still get your dole money,
now that you've been fired?
643
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,160
I weren't fired.
644
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,400
Technically, my position
fell victim to internal restructuring.
645
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,360
Oh. So they didn't want bad publicity?
You know, "worker spunks in burger".
646
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,240
For an alcoholic,
you're a very astute man.
647
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,400
-[Dominic] I'll drink to that.
-[Frank chuckles]
648
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,200
-Someone's got the love-balls in.
-I'm official.
649
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,640
Passed her citizenship test.
Stood in the queue.
650
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,840
She's all passport-ed up.
651
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,000
Good for you.
652
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,720
What's up with sour puss?
653
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,560
Fucking failed the test.
Seven out of twenty-four.
654
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,360
-[Gloria] Come on, Kel.
-Serve these while I go and see to Cilla.
655
00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:53,000
[Jackson] Tell her.
656
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,440
[Avril] I can't.
657
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:58,080
"You're dying. You're not dying.
You're dying." It's cruel.
658
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,880
Let this be the end
of all that Doctor Dolittle stuff.
659
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,360
Doctor Dolittle talked to the animals,
you fucking arsehole.
660
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,960
-You absolutely loathe me, don't you?
-["One Last Chance" playing]
661
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:19,240
♪ And I try to remember ♪
662
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,360
♪ Who I used to be ♪
663
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:26,680
♪ I've got one last chance
To get myself together… ♪
664
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,880
[Karen] My husband has killed men.
665
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,800
He's a strong man…
666
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:34,840
-a violent man, if need be.
-Ah?
667
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,440
[Karen] I love my husband.
668
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:42,680
But he lied to me too often, too harshly.
669
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,520
And now things have altered, permanently.
670
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:53,880
You'd do well to remember…
revenge is a dish best served female.
671
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,360
Somebody has to tell
the woman she's dying.
672
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,200
-No way. Fuck off.
-She'll think we're taking the piss.
673
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,080
I would like to see Ireland one last time.
674
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,760
For what it's worth, it was a mistake.
675
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,760
You and me could fuck right now,
even the score up with your husband.
676
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,440
Tragic waste, your father.
He was a weak person, you know?
677
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:13,600
You're gonna lose him.
678
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,800
Down on one knee, propose, the lot.
679
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,400
[Mimi] It's our first anniversary.
680
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,720
This is how much I love you,
I wanna inhabit your skin.
681
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,840
If you think you can
talk about my dad like that…
682
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,000
-What's going on, Ruby?
-I'm gonna kill your mother!
683
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,760
[theme music]
684
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,720
Oh, yeah. I've had her. And her.
685
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:11,680
Well, I've had her… and her.
686
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,120
I've had her…
687
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:15,680
and her sister.
688
00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:19,200
Well, I've had the mother.
A night I'd rather forget.
689
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,720
Oh. I've had her,
when she was married to Terry B.
690
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,280
I had Terry B's second wife…
691
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,360
before they hooked up.
692
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,640
Which means…
693
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,760
-I've had…
-[both] You?
694
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,400
-[gagging]
-[Chesney] Urgh…
52542
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