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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,440 [tapping] 2 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:09,320 Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,520 about knowing fuck all about owt, needs to watch their backs! Oh! 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,000 So you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk, 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,400 sending prices sky-high. 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,240 Literally, literally, taking the grass from its own roots. 7 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,120 And now you've got your Con-Dem-Nation. 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,880 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 9 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,360 Have we had a national fucking stroke or what? 10 00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:36,280 Is revolution a word or was it never? 11 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,520 Anybody watching needs to know, 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,200 we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth. 13 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,520 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester, 14 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,400 and they charge us for water? 15 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:53,080 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found. 16 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,800 This green and pleasant land in ancient time. 17 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,400 Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,680 It's not theirs any more. 19 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,920 -This is our England now! -[cheering] 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,760 Party! 21 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,280 [theme music] 22 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,200 [Dominic] Age-old question, answered by many a martyr. 23 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,320 Who is the ultimate authority? 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,880 How many politicians do you trust? 25 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,400 How many judges are equipped with the skills of life 26 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,600 to pass just sentences? 27 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,280 [moaning] 28 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:35,160 Oh. 29 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,840 -Bang to rights. -Oh. 30 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,920 Oh, Mother Mary... 31 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,640 [Dominic] I know where I used to place my trust. 32 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,880 I thought I knew who I could rely on to do the right thing. 33 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,920 Those poor babies. 34 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,280 Civil war will claim another hundred thousand, 35 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:58,720 -and they're not letting aid through. -Gonna be worse than Live Aid, this one. 36 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:03,040 Oh, nothing plumbs the depths like Status Quo. 37 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,480 A good famine is the life support of the British music industry. 38 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,800 We'll have a chat on pay day. 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,720 Begs the question, though. 40 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,120 Famine and pestilence don't prove there's no God. 41 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,160 Try telling that to the little pot-bellies. 42 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,240 If he's up there, how's it not a fucking disgrace? 43 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,440 Better off not being born. 44 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,480 For every claim that God wouldn't let this happen, 45 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,960 I can provide ten arguments 46 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,280 invoking man's culpability and abuse of the gift of free will. 47 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,080 Ah! Free Willy. Every Catholic's get-out-of-jail card. 48 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,720 What free will have they got? Where's God? Right now? 49 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,720 Living like that? Worse than no life at all. 50 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,160 -[phone beeps] 51 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,800 Divine intervention? [laughs] 52 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,880 St. Peter's press office sending the latest spin? 53 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,240 Natural selection, that's all it is. Selfish genes. 54 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,120 "We will procreate. We will procreate." 55 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,000 Yeah, knock a few million out of the food chain. 56 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:02,880 Take care of the rest of us lucky fuckers by giving us the winning lottery tickets. 57 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,360 'Course, you lot 58 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,200 -change the rules to suit. -Ah! 59 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,040 There's no use genuflecting where truth's involved. 60 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,120 You just incorporate 61 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,360 -intelligent design... -[Dominic] Come on. 62 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,240 [Frank] God's massive plan... 63 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,840 [voicemail] Hiya, this is Alice. You know what to do, don't you? 64 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:21,080 ...you live where the sand is, move where the food is. 65 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,880 You'll be fucking guilty when you get to heaven 66 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,840 and there's nothing there and all the money you put in the pot, 67 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:31,400 money that goes towards the Pope having hand-crafted shoes 68 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,160 made from the genitals of Italian street boys. Fuck that! 69 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,360 Thursday, your honour! 70 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,240 Your honour? 71 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,120 Corridors of power, Kelly. Turns me on. 72 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,280 He's only a magistrate. 73 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,520 -So what? -Anyone can be one. 74 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,560 You can't. 75 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,080 -[indistinct commentary on TV] -Going out! 76 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,120 [door opens] 77 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,160 That's not dressing for Mortal Combat at Macka's. 78 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,760 -Something else came up. -Are you two-timing me? 79 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,960 -[Aidan laughs] -Look at you. 80 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,680 It must be love. 81 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,959 Behave. It's only the second time we've gone out. 82 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,240 Open's fine. 83 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,240 -[loud music playing] -Hey, no chatting to schoolies, Teesh. 84 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,520 -Don't break her heart. -[girl] Come, then. 85 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,400 Did you have your chat? 86 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,800 Can't we do it together? 87 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,600 No, because that's even more embarrassing. 88 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,840 They know more about sex than we ever will. 89 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,280 Watching porn on an iPhone isn't going to help her emotional development. 90 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,280 [Avril laughs] 91 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,640 Were you worried about emotional development 92 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,560 when we lay on your tracky top in Sharston woods? 93 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,560 You better do it. She listens to you. 94 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,160 No, I said tails. I always have tails. 95 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:15,960 Avril! 96 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,720 [indistinct commentary on TV] 97 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,680 -Avril! -I hear you! 98 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,520 Jesus. 99 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,040 Alice! Alice, come on! 100 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,400 [calling tone] 101 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,480 [phone ringing and vibrating] 102 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,000 Alice! 103 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,920 [Dominic] Alice, stop messing about! Come on! 104 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,400 [phone ringing and vibrating] 105 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,160 -[knocks on the door] -Alice, come on! 106 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,240 Alice! 107 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,200 Alice! 108 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,960 -[phone ringing and vibrating] -Fuck, no. 109 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,480 Alice? Alice. Alice! 110 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:13,480 Fuck. 111 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,120 [calling tone] 112 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,240 Hey, what's wrong? 113 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,960 -Where've you been? -Where do you think? 114 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,760 -[Letitia tuts] -Teesh! 115 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,520 What's he done? 116 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,240 -Nothing yet. Really. -So what's wrong, then? 117 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,720 Maybe I'd like more than two words before he tries to take my top off. 118 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,600 It's Warren. Do you know how many girls would love to be in your shoes right now? 119 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,160 [tuts] Thought we were eating. 120 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:41,400 We will. 121 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,480 Just come back inside and have another drink. 122 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,320 Maybe another time. You don't have to come. 123 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,200 [loud music playing] 124 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,920 I'm really sorry. 125 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,160 [doctor] You should just get some sleep now. 126 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,160 [indistinct chatter] 127 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:43,560 [voice echoes] I impregnated a 16-year-old. But she lost the baby. 128 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,080 -See you later. All right? -Okay. 129 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,480 [Alice] See you later. 130 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,840 And they wonder why church attendance is down. 131 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,240 [door shuts] 132 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,480 -I'm sorry for texting. -Oh, no, don't be. 133 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,840 I'm glad you did. 134 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,640 I'm glad you got to me. 135 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,360 Maybe you do care. 136 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,440 Of course I do. Always. 137 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,720 There's still a chance for us, then? 138 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,520 I'm teasing. 139 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,280 Yeah, I know you were. As ever... 140 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,280 So does being saved mean I've still got a hope of heaven? 141 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,920 I know there's a space with your name on. 142 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,360 -On authority from above. -Of course. 143 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,320 You've got direct contact. 144 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,880 This one was a visitation in a dream. 145 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:00,840 Clear as day. 146 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,040 Said the plot's definitely yours. 147 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,440 But it won't be ready until you're the grand old age of 95. 148 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,600 So promise me you'll hang around till then? 149 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,520 Anything for you. 150 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,600 I think we would have had a little girl. 151 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,000 You will do one day. 152 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,240 She'd be walking, 153 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,560 -talking-- -Alice, come on. 154 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,160 You're going to be okay. 155 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,120 He says condoms always split on him. 156 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,760 Eurgh! That bony arse? 157 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:55,080 You better believe it. Tony Baloney pressed all my buttons. 158 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,000 Aren't you worried? 159 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,440 No, I was at the chemist before it even opened. 160 00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,800 Where his sister works? 161 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,600 Oh, I know. I forgot. She made me feel like a right tramp. 162 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,600 -She can talk. -[girl] Exactly. 163 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,080 -[Letitia] What about catching something? -I made him cover up. 164 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,800 -What more can I do? -Not sleep with him on the first date? 165 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,200 People are starting to wonder what you're into. 166 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,080 Whether boys are really your thing. 167 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,640 Think I care what people think? 168 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,440 Well, I've gotta go, but... I'm just saying, it's the 21st century. 169 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,480 -Forget prim and proper. -[phone beeps] 170 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,040 Tony told me to bring Keisha for Warren. 171 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,760 You're getting left behind, girl. 172 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,480 Should have seen the cuts on her arms. Bet she weighs next to nothing. 173 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:50,800 So? Who knows what kind of shit she's dealing with at home. 174 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,640 Hm. 175 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,720 Which started with me getting her pregnant. 176 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,920 It took two to tango. 177 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,240 She played you. I saw the gear she used to wear. 178 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,320 [snorts] Remember what I used to wear? 179 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,120 Sending her money every month is more than anyone else would do. 180 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,320 -Yeah. -You saved her. Now put it to bed. 181 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,880 -Please. -Jamie! 182 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,080 Oi, mate! No fighting on these premises, eh? 183 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,200 I was going to visit later. 184 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,200 -There's no point! -[piano music] 185 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,200 She sneaked out last night. 186 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,400 Jumped from the top 187 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,880 -of the hospital car park. -No... 188 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,000 She's all we had. 189 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,360 [crying] 190 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,520 -[woman] Thank you very much, thank you. -Thank you so much. 191 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,440 Thank you. 192 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,440 -Settling in, Father? -Yeah. 193 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,400 Makes it easy when everyone makes you feel so welcome. 194 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,800 -Thank you, thanks for coming. -Beautiful service, thank you. 195 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,440 Good morning, Father. 196 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,000 Morning. [chuckles] 197 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,560 The other kids are laughing at her. Saying things. 198 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,360 Forget age. What about when it happens naturally? 199 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,800 Right person, right time? 200 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,600 I just think there's a way of helping her out. 201 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,480 Making sure it's not a disappointment. 202 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:05,520 I'm three months younger than you. What was so wrong with your first time? 203 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,320 -It was perfect, Mr. Loverman. -[laughter] 204 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,440 Oi. Cloggsy's clouted a transit full of laptops. 205 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,360 Our name's on fifty. 206 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:17,320 Over to the divine sisterhood. A higher authority. Laters. 207 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,400 My real first time was a spotty scrote behind the bins after netball. 208 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,720 Horrible. 209 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,360 -So Jackson thinks he's your-- -Mm-hm. 210 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,320 [laughter] 211 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:36,480 -My first was 25, and I was 15. -And? 212 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,240 Mm, he certainly knew a thing or two. 213 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,320 There you go. If it gives Letitia a better experience, 214 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,640 what's so wrong with that? 215 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,040 [Gloria] Well, I always thought she'd get it on with Aidan. 216 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,360 No. 217 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,160 Can I have a beer and an alcopop, please? 218 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,880 -Have you nailed her yet? -Like I'd tell you. 219 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,280 -Queer. -That's a definite "no", bro! 220 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,760 [laughter] 221 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,360 -Pack it in. -Aargh, what you doing? 222 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,760 [distant phone ringing] 223 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,680 Oh! Oh... 224 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,280 Oh. 225 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,320 -Bang to rights. -[knock on the door] 226 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:34,720 Oh! Oh, hello. Yes, my dear. 227 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,080 My first time was with someone older. 228 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,160 There's a lot to be said for experience. 229 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,240 What's with the tag-team? 230 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,160 -What are you two getting at? -Nothing. 231 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,480 But maybe Warren's worth a second chance? 232 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,960 He sells weed and he grunts. You're supposed to want the best for me. 233 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,360 It'll be easier when you go to college. 234 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,800 -What will? -To date an older guy. 235 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,760 -Maybe one of your lecturers. -Mum. 236 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,120 Once it's over with, there's no awkward boundaries. No taboos. 237 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,520 [footsteps] 238 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,960 Are you okay? 239 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,680 Course. 240 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,680 Don't worry, yeah? 241 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,920 [door shuts] 242 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,560 The genie is out of the bottle, mate. 243 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,120 Kids' heads get battered with sex 244 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,920 and shagging soon after they've stopped watching Igglepiggle. 245 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,320 You've done well she's lasted this long. 246 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,040 You ever bump into the first girl you slept with? 247 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,480 Erm, funerals, weddings. 248 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,040 Was a second cousin. 249 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,880 Shagged it behind a pile of turf at my nana's in Kildare. 250 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,040 -You? -All the time. 251 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,560 Where? 252 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,320 Two streets over there. 253 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,000 No way. 254 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:01,960 Avril was your first? 255 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,400 On my Tacchini tracky. Turned it inside out to keep it clean. 256 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,400 You've done plenty of splitting up though, yeah? 257 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,480 Played away once. 258 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,360 You've had... 259 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,800 -two women? -Ever. 260 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,920 What, you think there's something wrong with that? 261 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,440 No, it's, er... 262 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,040 -[door opens] -...very noble. 263 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,920 [Chesney] The last one I got off Coggsy was riddled with that many viruses 264 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,400 -I thought I was going to catch something. -They're sweet. 265 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,920 Who's wearing the trousers today? 266 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,280 Nice one. 267 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:42,960 What? 268 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,480 I didn't know magistrates could claim blow jobs on expenses. 269 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:52,760 [man] We can't. 270 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:58,280 I've told them you're my life coach. Which is just about claimable. 271 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,320 Like in boxing? 272 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:05,480 No. Someone who helps with strategies for long-term psychological happiness. 273 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:09,319 -Jeremy Kyle? -Nothing like Jeremy Kyle. 274 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,040 They want to interview you about this. 275 00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:16,560 I struggle with words. 276 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,920 -Do you know the reason I choose you? -My specs? 277 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,960 You're a sensitive soul, a rare rose, 278 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,120 a delicate speciality. 279 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,320 I know you can rise to this. 280 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,040 Oh. Let me guess, texting Manchester's biggest gangster? 281 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,200 Not him. He's been sacked. 282 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,920 -Did you laugh at his shit car? -[Letitia laughs] 283 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,080 Mum's treating me to new jeans. We can get Nando's with the change? 284 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,640 -Yeah, defo. -Trafford Centre's open till ten. 285 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,280 I can't go tonight. I told Sarah I'd go pictures with her. 286 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,080 No worries. Maybe some other time. 287 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,880 I was thinking nice and tight. 288 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,480 [Gloria] Hey. 289 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,960 Insomnia must be contagious. 290 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,600 Yeah. Go on, go back to bed. 291 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,000 Dom, what's that about? 292 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,240 Sanctioned self-harming. 293 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,040 The church was on to that buzz centuries ago. 294 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,400 It's not funny. 295 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,520 Trying to get to where her head was. 296 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,640 To what end? 297 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,320 See what pushed her. 298 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,360 I thought you said she jumped. 299 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,040 Look. 300 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,000 I was mad into him back then. 301 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,440 And now? 302 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,480 We're having a slight difference of opinion. 303 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,640 In the name of the Father... 304 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,560 I order you to bed. 305 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,160 Go on. I'm all right. 306 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,920 [piano music] 307 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,720 [door shuts] 308 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,040 Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani. 309 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:05,960 Eh? 310 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:10,880 You don't mind, do you? 311 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,040 You fucked with me from the very start. 312 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,640 No dad, no role model. 313 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,880 Is that how you suck us in, do you? The vulnerable? The needy? 314 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,760 Like some parasite nonce? 315 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,320 All those years I covered for you... 316 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,240 lying on your behalf. 317 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,520 How often did I dupe young men and women 318 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,600 struck down in their prime by incurable cancers? 319 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,840 Reassured them, pray to you, believe... 320 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,840 their journey has a destination? 321 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,760 I was never selfish. 322 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,560 Not once. 323 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,200 Cos that's how it's supposed to work. 324 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,600 You give when needed 325 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,680 and I trusted that you would do the right thing. 326 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,480 Hadn't she suffered enough? 327 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,480 Hadn't she suffered enough? 328 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,840 Can't you see I'm done with you now? 329 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,840 You're nothing to me. 330 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,360 We're done. 331 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,040 "Surround yourself with..." 332 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,560 "Persons most like the people you want to become." 333 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:23,080 Nearly. "People most like the person you want to become." 334 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,720 I told him I'd struggle. 335 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,080 -What do life coaches wear anyway? -[Lillian] He told me, smart and casual. 336 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,840 -He's paying. -No. 337 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,720 Try another. 338 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,560 [sighs] "Don't put off being happy..." 339 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,080 "Until some later date." 340 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,320 At last! 341 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,360 [Lillian] A lot of this makes sense, you know? 342 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,160 He called me a delicate rose. 343 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,040 I'll have a glass of your finest red wine and one for Frank. 344 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,760 Potius hodie quam cras. 345 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:09,720 Come again? 346 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,040 School badge. "Red wine in the morning, pisspots' warning." 347 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:17,360 In the name of all wars, genocide, starvation, floods, 348 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,680 earthquakes, disease, suicides and pointless slaughter... 349 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,040 [Frank chuckles] 350 00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:24,040 ...I salute you. 351 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,240 -Anyone else? -Oh yeah. In nomine Patri-- 352 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,640 Enough of this sacrilege. Where's your respect? 353 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:37,320 I am now a born again convert to the word of our Frank. 354 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,720 You shall burn in hell. 355 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,720 No, no, there is no hell, no other god than Eric of Cantona! 356 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,840 Eh-hey-hey! Georgi Kinkladze is St. Peter. 357 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,560 Five tonne now, another monkey when the job's done. 358 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,840 Take four weeks of spitting in burgers to earn a grand. 359 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,320 Should be an easy decision, then. 360 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,280 Go on. 361 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,160 -I need assistance. -With? 362 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,960 -Who? -Me. 363 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,200 What? 364 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,960 Suicide. 365 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,640 -You were right all along-- -Whoa. Don't you blame this on me. 366 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,800 Oh, there's no blame, but there's no god for me anymore. 367 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,760 And like you said, living a certain way is worse than no life at all. 368 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,960 I was speaking about little immigrants. Spend it on a flight to Zurich, 369 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,080 -get a professional service. -Frank. 370 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,720 At least have a think about it. Go on. 371 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:49,720 -So how long are they away for? -Just one night. 372 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,640 She's on her own? No brothers or sisters? 373 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,240 They're with her mum and dad. 374 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,760 -Smashed it! -Our man's going to rattle it all night! 375 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,000 She told me to come prepared. 376 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,040 Scrub up proper. After shave, you can use my Aramis. 377 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,080 -Wash your bell-end-- -[Chesney tuts] 378 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,000 She means condoms. 379 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,040 I'll sort it, on the house. 380 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:10,160 I want details, yeah? Size of her nipples, 381 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,960 if she's shaved her poonani or if she's got spider's legs! 382 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,520 Yep, hear, see, and speak plenty of evil. 383 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,400 Hey, bro, did you see that, bro? 384 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,440 She was checking you out! My man's on fire! 385 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,560 We used to hang around here as kids. 386 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,480 Lovely. 387 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,640 Exploring round here was like a journey to a lost world. 388 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,920 Huh. I remember once, 389 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,200 a proper sunburst came through an 'ole in the roof 390 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,000 and lit Jimmy H. like an angel. 391 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,120 I was up there, looking down. 392 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,800 It was beautiful. I felt warm, connected to it all. 393 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,600 -Glorious. -Truly. 394 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,720 Ten years old, my first mystical experience. 395 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,800 My first holding hands in my love affair with God. 396 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,600 Mm-hm. 397 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,280 So why end it now? 398 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,600 I never gave doubt any space. 399 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,680 You know, once you do, the... 400 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:23,600 The questions on questions on questions, you're just dragged into a vortex. 401 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,240 So, drink, take enough gear, 402 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:32,400 block the lot, get so twatted, no coherent thought gets through. 403 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,400 [laughs] Now you can start living. 404 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,000 Yeah... I admire you, Frank. 405 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,080 I'll leave a note for our Gloria to pay you the rest. 406 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,800 But why do you need me? 407 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,000 You kick these away, you make sure that I'm dead. 408 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,640 If you get it wrong, I could end up a cabbage in a wheelchair. 409 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,680 Oh. Enough of them hanging round my neck already. 410 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,880 Up there? 411 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,040 Full circle. 412 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,840 [gasps] Watch it! 413 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,760 You're the one who said you wanted to be like "grown-up friends". 414 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,520 Oh, touché... 415 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,920 You want me to go out with someone who's experienced? 416 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,800 I just don't want you to be disappointed. 417 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,560 -What if he's experienced, but younger? -As long as he's legal. 418 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,200 -He's 16 in a month. -It would be like going with your brother. 419 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,440 As an only child, that means nothing to me. 420 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,840 How do you know he's done more than even kiss her? 421 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,000 Are you still a virgin? 422 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,160 No, I lost it when I was 12. 423 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,440 It doesn't follow that he's experienced. 424 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,320 Suppose that confidence has got to come from somewhere. 425 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,200 It's just a little matter of where and when. 426 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,360 Way I see it, got no faith, you only got two choices. 427 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,280 Live with no hope... 428 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,960 which brings us here. Or... 429 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,920 live with no fear! I.e... 430 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,880 There! You see that? 431 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,040 Just... 432 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:41,480 Just do it. 433 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:53,960 Ugh! 434 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,400 -[Frank] That's a sign! -[Dominic gasps] 435 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:04,760 That fucking hurt. 436 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,680 -You've been given a sign! -From who, Frank? 437 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,120 Well... Well, I don't fucking know. A sign, you know! 438 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,960 Well on the road to Golgotha now. 439 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,360 There's no backing out. 440 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,480 "Living a healthier life will enable me to..." 441 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,560 "Live longer, live more happily, 442 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,840 have better energy... 443 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,960 and..." 444 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:32,880 "Be more..." 445 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,520 Oh, it's gone. 446 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,560 "...comfortable with myself." 447 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,160 -Christ, how hard can it be? -Sorry, I... 448 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,400 I... 449 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:44,880 I... 450 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,760 -Ah... -Woah, woah, woah. 451 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,120 Take it easy. Come on. Deep breaths now, come on. 452 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,200 [panting] 453 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,320 Now close your eyes... 454 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,760 imagine you're somewhere special, 455 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,160 and you're doing something that makes you happy. 456 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,960 Now think of someone with you. 457 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,400 Someone who calms and soothes you. 458 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:14,400 Who do you want that to be? 459 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,240 Now, this person is going to help you through this task. 460 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,720 With this person beside you... 461 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,520 you can accomplish anything. 462 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,520 Open your eyes. 463 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,520 You feel better? 464 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,040 Yes, thank you. 465 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,880 You can do this. 466 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,920 No, I couldn't hang meself, anyway, I'm a physical coward. Er... 467 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:52,320 Frank? Get me the biggest bottle of paracetamol that they've got. 468 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,440 There's no need. 469 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,400 That raspberry in ours, she's got her own pharmacy. 470 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,920 Paracetamol, diazepam, tramadol. 471 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,480 Get on our settee. 472 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,800 Makes sense to do it somewhere safe and comfy, 473 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:09,520 familiar face holding your hand as you drift gently into that good night. 474 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,680 -Yeah. Are you sure? -Yeah, course. Just give us, you know, 475 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,880 half an hour to fuck Patty off and check that Aidan and Stella are out. 476 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,800 Non-prescription, these don't come cheap. 477 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,920 Oh, what cost your Christian soul? 478 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,880 -What's the point if they won't kill him? -He'll still be pissed and fall asleep. 479 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,480 -And then what? -I don't fucking know! 480 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,920 Just buys us time to work on him, just talk him out of it. 481 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,600 Let him get on with it. Never feckin' liked him anyway. 482 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,040 Emo's ruin, good old paracetamol. 483 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,560 Even if they get there in time to save you, 484 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,400 your liver'll pack up within six months. 485 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,240 [clattering] 486 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,520 -Thought everyone was out? -Must be Stella's new... cat. 487 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,800 [whispering] Fuckin' playing at? 488 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,840 Start thinking like a manager, not a doer. 489 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,920 It's Lillian's randomness that I find most effective. 490 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,880 Visualise your own success. 491 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,160 I'd recommend her to anyone with a busier than average life. 492 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,040 "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good." Bill Gates. 493 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,920 Pissing and shitting everywhere, it's... Brought some more, in case. 494 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,400 [Dominic] DIY paracetamol? 495 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,680 One's misfortune, two's fucking carelessness. 496 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,400 Oh, God, what are the chances of that? 497 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,840 All right, Dom. Dom, come on, come on, come on. 498 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,120 -Get off! -Come on! Watch the... cat! 499 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,040 -You're taking the piss. -Who do you think you're talking to? 500 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,120 You're the gobshite taking the overdose. 501 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,680 Have you any idea what that does to those left behind? 502 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,520 Those boards should never have broke! 503 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,840 Who can I trust? 504 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,000 Me! 505 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:20,840 Come on, this is where it all starts. Two of us, afraid of nothing. 506 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,680 -Get a grip, shithouse! -Why doesn't that appeal? 507 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,280 Look, you... think I want my dabs on these bottles? 508 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,080 You go to jail for this shit! 509 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,000 Dom! 510 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,600 I don't know how to say it. 511 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,280 -He hasn't even got a bike. -He has. 512 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,400 I don't want to sound like a slag. 513 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,560 You're asking him to come round, not speak, 514 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,800 just in case talking "ruins the moment", 515 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,840 shag you on a one-night stand, then go back to the way it was. 516 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,600 It's pretty difficult to dress that up any other way. 517 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,800 Give it here. [clears throat] 518 00:33:58,880 --> 00:33:59,720 Erm... 519 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:02,720 Something like this? 520 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,520 -Maybe. -It's perfect. Just send it! 521 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,400 I'm scared. 522 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,639 I don't know why you'd rather him than Warren anyway. 523 00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:15,520 Gone. 524 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,719 -The blue ones are in the wash. -[Sarah] Aw... 525 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,159 -What about the grey? -[Sarah] Perfect. 526 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,560 -I'm thinking red or black for me? -Yeah. 527 00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:24,719 -[phone beeps] -[Sarah] Aidan. I really want you. 528 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,320 Yeah, can I call you back? Someone's at the door. 529 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,960 -[phone beeps] -Yes! Get in. 530 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,080 Oh, yeah. Ooh... 531 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,080 What difference does it make if I land on one of them? 532 00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:57,320 Take one of them with me? 533 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:06,640 What point this life you bestowed? This... mind? 534 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,880 This pointless viscera. 535 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:15,200 Decaying organs, bones, pumping blood. It means fuck all! 536 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,360 I'm down to the dregs. 537 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,680 Liquid last supper. 538 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:41,200 [Frank] Live with no hope, wither and die. 539 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,080 Or live with no fear. Grab life. 540 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,360 Both hands. Squeeze the living shit out of it. 541 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:00,520 Slainte. 542 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,320 -And I can't keep off the toilet. -I've noticed. 543 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,120 Her skirt shouldn't be too short. 544 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,360 Except a bit of thigh gives the right signal. 545 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,680 And what is Aidan going to be like afterwards? 546 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,000 What if he turns into some psycho-stalker? 547 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,880 What if she does? 548 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,840 How's that helping? 549 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,240 Just softens it a bit. You don't mind? 550 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,680 -Have you thought all this through? -You are joking? 551 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,120 -Just... Aidan. I'm not convinced. -[Letitia] It's too late. 552 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,280 And I've ordered the rohypnol in case he's shy. 553 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,160 Not funny. 554 00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:48,240 -I thought this was what you wanted. -Kind of. 555 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,800 Good. Cos I need Gloria to sort out my bikini wax. 556 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,800 Keisha's done it. 557 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,160 And a little bonus for your performance earlier on. 558 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:06,440 -[Lillian] No. -You deserve it. 559 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,400 I learnt a lot about myself. 560 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,200 That's all well and good, but this is still how you earn a living. 561 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,920 -Maybe not for much longer. -Yeah, well, good for you. 562 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,120 Turn your business acumen into any number of things. 563 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:25,960 Throw in your new life skills. Nothing will stop you. 564 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,240 -I'm going to miss you though. -There might be no need. 565 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,400 -You've got to act if you want something. -That's right. 566 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,640 No point dwelling, thinking what might have been. 567 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:41,000 You can stop now. The test is over. 568 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,400 I know you feel it too. 569 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,240 I need to go. 570 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,160 No. No, no kissing, please. 571 00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,680 -Let me buy you dinner. -Dinner? 572 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,560 -I want to shape my own destiny. -And I'm happy for you. 573 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,200 Take control. Let your rare rose fill you with her scent. 574 00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,920 We can get to know each other. 575 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,080 Where? 576 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,560 Maldini's Moston. 577 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,480 -I better go home. Freshen up a bit. -You smell okay to me. 578 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,120 Look good, feel good. You want me on top form, don't you? 579 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,440 [Lillian chuckles] 580 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,880 -Ravioli. Half price before seven. -Oh, ravioli. 581 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,360 -Before seven. -I'll pick you up at six! 582 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:23,960 Oh, fine. 583 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,000 -[music playing] -Mm! Nice. 584 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,960 No mum? 585 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,120 -All of a sudden she's gone squeamish. -Because it's Aidan? 586 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,840 -You okay? -Yeah. Never better. 587 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,520 -It's Letitia's first time. -Oh. 588 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,920 And we sanction this, do we? 589 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,920 Well, Avril's opted for experience over true love, 590 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,320 -so you need to make yourself scarce. -Right. 591 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,600 I think you should get some... 592 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,640 -help. -Oh, no. 593 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,480 No need. 594 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:16,680 This bullshit's over. I'm as clear as I've ever been. 595 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:21,120 Fuck guilt. 596 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:24,680 Fuck God. 597 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,640 I'm living for me. 598 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,720 His wife might not like the idea. 599 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,080 Who says he's married? 600 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,240 Come on! Statistically, 90 percent of them are. 601 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,680 Even if he is, she can't mess with what's meant to be. 602 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,320 Oh, aye. Sniffing your pits, must be serious. 603 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,440 I'm meeting Letitia. 604 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,320 What, round here? 605 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,640 Watch a film or something. Our DVD's broke. 606 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:18,160 -Gloria said we could. -I wondered why she was here earlier. 607 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:19,880 She didn't tell you? 608 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,440 That older kid with the souped-up hairdryer? 609 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,440 -Warren? -Yeah, that's him. About an hour ago. 610 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,960 She was a bit unsure, but he talked her into it. 611 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,720 Bit of a smooth operator. 612 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,240 Haven't you got a girlfriend? 613 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,600 If she's still speaking to me. 614 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,880 Well, it can get messy so close to home. 615 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,320 Once you take that step, it changes everything. 616 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,760 Never go back to being mates. 617 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,160 Easy come. 618 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:53,800 Easy go. 619 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:10,880 Still no sign of him? 620 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,880 -I thought you were going to bed? -Don't worry, I won't intrude. 621 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,440 So what's your dad's take on all of this? 622 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,960 I don't think he knows. 623 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,240 How long are you going to give him? 624 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,640 -Not much more. -That might look a bit keen. 625 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,360 That's what I was thinking. 626 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:37,280 Do I know him? 627 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,160 Aidan. 628 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:44,920 Well... he's a very lucky lad. 629 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,200 There's got to be some explanation then, eh? 630 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,080 [tuts] Probably his girlfriend. 631 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,720 So how come Aidan if it's all about experience? 632 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,560 Mum was the one going on about that. 633 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,000 Sometimes mums knows best. 634 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,280 -You reckon? -Yeah. Definitely. 635 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,640 You know, I can tell you some of the benefits if you really want. 636 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:20,280 Like not getting stuck on a bra strap? 637 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,040 [chuckles] The truly experienced man 638 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,720 should always execute that manoeuvre with his teeth. 639 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,560 [Letitia chuckles] 640 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,440 Fingers and thumbs are for... 641 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,440 the really delicate stuff. 642 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,480 [Lillian] "Build it and he will come." 643 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,160 I know what I need to do. 644 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:54,120 Forget all this hocus-pocus bollocks. Golden rule number one. 645 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,360 -"If I focus on the future--" -Rule number one. 646 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,400 Lillian. 647 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,000 -Never fall for a punter. -Never! 648 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,000 My looks won't last much longer. 649 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:11,600 More than all of us, you know this isn't the place to find love. 650 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,160 I can tell Malcolm's different. 651 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:17,280 We pretend they're special for their benefit. 652 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,280 It gets dangerous if we blur the boundaries. 653 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,600 Let them live with the denial, live that lie every day, 654 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,240 skulking around behind their wives' and girlfriends' backs. 655 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,240 He's the same as all the others. 656 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,760 So why say I'm a rose? 657 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,360 So you'd try your hardest? 658 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:48,320 I'll show him. Thinks I'm a mug? Receipt for Malcolm Palmer. 659 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,160 Got it. 660 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:55,320 -Visa? Mastercard? -Visa. 661 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,440 Four, nine, two, one, eight, one... 662 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:03,000 Look. The best way, whether he went-- 663 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:09,200 Bloody hell is that? 664 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,200 [laughter] 665 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,520 Excuse me? 666 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,840 "Dildos"? What's that? 667 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,960 Nobody plays Lillian Tyler. 668 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:28,360 [Dominic] Forty years of faith and trust and belief, for what? 669 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,280 What good did the sacrifice do? 670 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:35,400 What have I contributed to the grand sum of the human well-being? 671 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,120 Not a fucking jot. 672 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:42,320 I could mourn the lost time, say it was a waste, but that's not true. 673 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,960 I got something from it, I got me, I got the tools I carry, 674 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,000 that makes me the man I am today. 675 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,360 And that puts me in a good place. 676 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,320 To wreak some fucking havoc. 677 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,600 [whispering] I hope you're gone by the morning. 678 00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:58,760 See? I told you. 679 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:04,360 I'm good. 680 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,240 [Jamie] This isn't the first threat that's been made. 681 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:09,960 You done something out the ordinary, gone too far. 682 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,000 [Jamie] This is the real deal. 683 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,080 -You're diagnosing people? -Why have knowledge you don't use? 684 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,520 You're not a British citizen? 685 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,120 There were a load of forms to fill in and I couldn't be bothered. 686 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,680 If she fails the test, she'll be deported for being an illegal immigrant. 687 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:22,800 [laughs] 688 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,600 No way am I going to tell her she's dying! 689 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,520 Patty is dying? 690 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,360 [Jamie] It's got to be a team. They're all over us. 691 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,920 -I don't have that kind of money. -I am properly scared, Jamie. 692 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,520 [theme music] 693 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:13,760 ["Bring Me Sunshine" playing] 694 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,680 ♪ Bring me sunshine ♪ 695 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,560 ♪ In your smile... ♪ 696 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:21,320 Morning! 697 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,800 Good morning! 698 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:28,640 -Somebody's popped their cherry. -[laughter] 699 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,600 Front door and back. 700 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,240 Baptism of fire. 701 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:37,560 [laughter] 52822

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