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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,480 This programme contains graphic violent scenes, strong language 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,840 and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting from the start 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,680 This is a story about a boat, 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,120 a boat that washed up on a beach and changed a lot of lives, 5 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,960 like for a woman called Janet... Janet! ..and Samuel. 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,680 My name's Samuel. Hi...Samuel. 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,000 And him... What you dinky doing, you? 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,880 ..and her... Pat Tooh with an H. 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,880 ..and him... Ben. 10 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,440 You don't know me... 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,240 ..and this one. Le Tailleur. 12 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,080 And also this guy... 13 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,760 He's not much of a talker. 14 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,760 STATIC HISS 15 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,920 CROW CAWS 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:57,400 Argh! 17 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:08,560 Now, some stories start a long, long time ago. 18 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,480 Some stories start in a deep, dark wood. 19 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,680 Some stories start in a galaxy far, far away. 20 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,080 But this story starts here, 21 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:25,320 under a damn pylon, with a severed head, of all things. 22 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,400 Shall we begin? 23 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,480 MOPED ENGINE 24 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,480 Let's go back in time to the small town of Applebury. 25 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,280 Not the kind of place people die to go to, 26 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,800 more the kind where people go to die. 27 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,920 It starts one morning, a Thursday, I think, 28 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,200 under smokestacks on a lonely country road. 29 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,720 A woman with blue in her hair driving towards a Thursday... 30 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,800 METALLIC CLUNK 31 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,000 ..unlike any other Thursday she'd experienced. 32 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,600 WHISTLING 33 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,200 TUNELESS WHISTLING CONTINUES 34 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,240 Keith, do you mind? It's like one of the Seven Dwarfs had a fucking brain injury. 35 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,000 I'm five-foot-seven. Perfectly good height for a man. 36 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,600 Anyhow, I don't claim to be musical. That's my brother. Hey! 37 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,960 He does... Less chat, come on, we've got quotas here. 38 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,120 Nigel! Shut it down, there's a jam! 39 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,560 Hang on. 40 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,200 Yeah? Well, tell Maggie to... 41 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,160 Nah. We'll have to get someone from maintenance here. 42 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,800 It's stuck, I can't get it to work and I can't... 43 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,600 OK, clear! 44 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,960 SCREAMS 45 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,000 Nige! Argh! 46 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,760 MACHINERY STOPS 47 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960 Worst Thursday ever. 48 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,080 WAVES CRASHING 49 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,920 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 50 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,240 SIREN 51 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,560 LOUDSPEAKER: Please switch off your engine, so we can board your vessel! 52 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,720 Merde! 53 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,120 Bonsoir. 54 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,240 Do you mind tying that down for us? 55 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,160 Bit nasty out, eh? I've seen worse. 56 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,360 Mind if I take a look around? 57 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,200 May I ask why? 58 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,880 Take a quick look around, then I'll be out your minge. 59 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,440 Mackerel. 60 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,000 Yeah, a whole lot of mackerel. 61 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,800 It was a good haul. 62 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,080 And...not mackerel. 63 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,960 Come on, then. 64 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,000 GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING 65 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,200 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 66 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,000 Argh! 67 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,080 Fucking get up! 68 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,720 MUSIC CONTINUES 69 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,240 You fucking done? Fucking get up! 70 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,440 Fucking get up! 71 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,560 YELLING AND GRUNTING 72 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,400 Urgh! Urgh! 73 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,840 CLUNK 74 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,480 JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES 75 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,240 THUNDER RUMBLES 76 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,440 # Anything you can do, I can do better... # 77 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,280 Hiya. 78 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,920 Evening. 79 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,720 # No, you can't Yes, I can 80 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,600 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 81 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,320 # Anything you can be, I can be greater 82 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,520 # Sooner or later, I'm greater than you 83 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,040 # No, you're not Yes, I am 84 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,880 # No, you're not Yes, I am 85 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,200 # No, you're not Yes, I am. Yes, I am! 86 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,000 # I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge 87 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,840 # I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow 88 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,280 # I can live on bread and cheese... # Right... 89 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,080 # And only on that? Yes. So can a rat 90 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,440 # Any note you can reach, I can go higher 91 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,240 # I can sing anything higher than you 92 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,680 # No, you can't Yes, I can 93 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,120 # No, you can't Yes, I can 94 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,920 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 95 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,560 # Anything you can say, I can say faster 96 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,520 # I can say anything faster than you 97 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,560 # No, you can't Yes, I can 98 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,600 # No, you can't Yes, I can 99 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,960 # No, you can't Yes, I can 100 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,000 # No, you can't Yes, I can... # 101 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,920 You could just buy it, you know, love? You can buy them?! 102 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,040 I didn't win it at a fair that only exists for people who can sell them on at fairs. 103 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,680 See, how it works is I buy the stuffed animals, 104 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,200 and then in this stall, people come and they play and they win... 105 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,240 No, I get that. I were just... 106 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,960 Doesn't matter. 107 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,680 I'm out of money anyway. That were my budget for the week. 108 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,440 But it's not your problem. Thanks. Thanks, anyway. 109 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,760 Tell you what, Annie Oakley. 110 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,200 You've practically bought it already, amount you've slapped down. 111 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,440 Here you go, pet. 112 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,080 Are you sure? 113 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,800 Piece of advice. Don't let it shit on the floor and definitely don't kiss it, 114 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,880 or it turns into a 22-stone fuckhead. 115 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,400 Ta. 116 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,280 KIDS SCREAM 117 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,560 KIDS LAUGH 118 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,240 CROAKY VOICE: Alan... 119 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,800 Alan! 120 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,200 Ribbit, ribbit... No way! Hiya, love. 121 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,520 You finally won the beast! Only took eight years. 122 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,200 The approximate lifespan of the West European hedgehog. 123 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,600 Just don't kiss him, or he turns into a 20-stone fuckhead. Ah! 124 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,680 Sorry. How did you do it? 125 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,200 RUSSIAN ACCENT: I am Russian spy. You know this. 126 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:21,080 Ah, right. My hand, it become rocket launcher, I shoot the cans at a local fair 127 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,920 and job done, as they say. Shush, don't tell anybody. 128 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,640 You silly woman. 129 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,120 New hand looks good. 130 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,960 No, it doesn't. But thanks, anyway. 131 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,760 You all right? Yeah. I'll be fine, they'll see me right. 132 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,560 Janet, Janet... 133 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,200 Dearie me. 134 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,040 Bit of a coincidence seeing you here, isn't it? 135 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:45,160 No, I was out with a friend actually. So... Yeah. 136 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,440 Where is she, then? She's, erm... 137 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:52,920 Oh, yes, she's over there. She's on one of the... She's on the slide. 138 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,640 No... Oh, no, she's not. Maybe she... Hot-dogs. Candyfloss, or something like that... 139 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,600 She loves candyfloss. You can't keep doing this. 140 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,720 I don't want to get into restraining orders, but... 141 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,440 This is not your life now. 142 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:10,320 Maybe you'd be happier if you let Jesus into your world. 143 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,760 Like I did. 144 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,840 Let's go. 145 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,000 We're praying for you, Jenny. 146 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,640 It's Janet. You know it's Janet... 147 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,880 She knew full well it was Janet. 148 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,800 She was just fucking with her. 149 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,640 Sorry. 150 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,400 Would you like your fortune read, darling? 151 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,320 I think it's best I don't. 152 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,320 They say fortune favours the brave. 153 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,840 But sometimes, even the bravest souls get left behind. 154 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,920 That's the thing about life, see? 155 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,920 Some frogs never do get kissed. 156 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,680 Some fairy tales never get their ending. 157 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,760 But sometimes, 158 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,520 they find another way. 159 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,720 BIRDS CALL 160 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,120 Drop it. 161 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,520 Good boy. 162 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,480 Come here. Come here! 163 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,240 Jump. That's nice. 164 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,120 Come here. Come on, then. Good boy. DOG YAPPING 165 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,000 Morning. 166 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,440 Morning. 167 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,680 Don't normally see anyone else this time. 168 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,080 I don't sleep well. 169 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,960 Me neither. 170 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,440 Wow! Quick, yours. Ah, no, he's not mine. 171 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,280 The neighbour lets me take him out. 172 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,400 You're not from round here? 173 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,600 What gave it away? 174 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,960 Oh, you know... 175 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,080 Everything. 176 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,160 Yeah. Just moved up from London. 177 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,400 We're "one of those". 178 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,000 Tired of the rat race, were it? 179 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,520 Yeah. Something like that. 180 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,880 Tom! 181 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,040 Tom! Where are you? 182 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,200 Tom? 183 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,000 OK. Major Tom? 184 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,480 Major Tom! 185 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,880 RATTLES CAT TREATS 186 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,600 I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. We seem to have misplaced our cat. 187 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:07,800 When Major Tom returns, would you please give us a call? Thank you. 188 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,280 You're leaving me your cat? 189 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,840 Thank you. 190 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,080 ENGINE STARTS 191 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,680 MAJOR TOM MEOWS 192 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,800 THUNDERCLAP 193 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,680 And the sea air of course, good for the soul, they say. 194 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,640 Well, your new home has been officially recognised as the country's hairiest arsehole. 195 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,480 Makes Peterborough look like...Portugal. 196 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,160 I think it's people make places. 197 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,680 Then we're really fucked. 198 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,160 Sorry. 199 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,800 WIND HOWLS 200 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,360 DOG WHIMPERS 201 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,640 DOG YAPS 202 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,320 What the hell...? Bette, come here. 203 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,240 What is it? What is it, girl? 204 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,520 What is...? 205 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,920 Jesus Christ! 206 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,000 Oh, God! 207 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,800 Call the police. My phone's out. 208 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,600 Right. Just fucking... Come on. 209 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,360 You got to look at this. What? 210 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,480 Fucking hell! Yeah. 211 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,600 What are you waiting for? There's two dead people here. 212 00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:01,440 The street value's got to run into tens of millions... 213 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:05,680 So what? Let's just, erm... Let's just give this a minute. 214 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,960 Let's just think... There's nowt to think about. 215 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,480 Jesus! Give me your fucking phone! Just, erm... 216 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,960 Sometimes... Sometimes, the world... 217 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,520 The world throws you a bone. 218 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,840 But you don't always see it. You don't always recognise it, but... 219 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,560 This, what's happening right now, this is the world throwing us a bone. 220 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,480 You want to fucking take it? 221 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,640 I don't know. 222 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,360 Are you mad? 223 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,000 My name's Samuel. What's your name? 224 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,600 What? Look, this situation's fucked up enough as it is without us being total strangers. 225 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,080 My name's Samuel. What's yours, please? 226 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,360 It's Janet. OK. Janet. OK. 227 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,040 Hi, Janet. 228 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,320 Hi, Samuel. 229 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,520 Erm... 230 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,280 Listen... Listen, Janet, erm, back in London, I was a lawyer. 231 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,640 And I, think I might... I know this is fucking insane, it's insane, I know, but... 232 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,560 I think I know someone who'd give us a lot of money for this. 233 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,440 I just came here to walk the bloody dog. So did I! 234 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,160 But then the world... Threw us a bone, yeah. Only it's not a bone. 235 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,240 It's a load of cocaine, the size of a fucking Nissan! 236 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,360 I've gambled away my entire life savings. 237 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,880 I sold my house, which is why we moved here. 238 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,200 Camilla, my wife, has no idea. 239 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,800 I don't know what your story is... No, you don't. Right. 240 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,680 But you are telling me you can't use a few million quid? 241 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,320 It is not that simple. But it could be. 242 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,080 Sometimes, you know, the best thing to do is to look out for yourself. 243 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,640 Cos God knows life kicks you in the bollocks often enough, 244 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,320 and when you get a chance you need to take it, grab it with 245 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,880 both hands, because there's nothing worse than living with regret... 246 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,440 HE FADES OUT, WAVES CRASH 247 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,040 Where would we keep it? 248 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,320 We should go. 249 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,560 DOG WHIMPERS 250 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,080 Oh, shit! What? 251 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,640 I got to clean my dog. 252 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,200 MOBILE RINGS 253 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,800 We missed our date last night. 254 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,680 But I'd already paid the deposit, 255 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,560 so I had a whole beef Wellington to myself. 256 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,360 And I ate it all, 257 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,280 the whole soddin' Wellington. 258 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,840 So are you going to give me a call back, or what? 259 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,120 Just a text or anything, just to let me know that you're all right. 260 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,440 Just call me, all right, love? 261 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,240 Turns out the policeman's boyfriend was also a policeman. 262 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,960 And while he was calling his dead lover, 263 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,760 Samuel was washing his Pomeranian in the sea. 264 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,120 Come on, come on, come on. 265 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,280 DOG YAPS 266 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,360 Where the fuck were you? What took you so long? 267 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,240 There was a woman...on the beach. 268 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,600 She saw me. 269 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,680 What? Christ... 270 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,000 Well, she didn't see my face. Come on, just fucking drive. 271 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,200 Hmm. 272 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,360 999, what's your emergency? 273 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:19,520 Yes, there's a Code 4 down at Applebury beach. 274 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,240 A boat on the shore. 275 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,240 No need for sirens, just the meat wagon. 276 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,600 Your name, please? 277 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,680 Pat Tooh, with an H. 278 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,320 Right, are you able to wait a while, while we send an ambulance? 279 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,320 I used to be a paramedic, love. Trust me, they're extremely dead. 280 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,720 They're on their way. Ah, lovely. 281 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,120 IN FRENCH: 282 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,840 MUFFLED GRUNTS 283 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,600 PHONE RINGS 284 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,320 Yes? 285 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,720 What is it? 286 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,080 Sh! 287 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,440 Sh, sh, sh, sh! 288 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,120 Ah, hold on, hold on. 289 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,160 HE CRIES IN PAIN 290 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,640 HE CHOKES 291 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,240 Say that again. 292 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,720 You are talking about my shipment? 293 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,160 But this is a joke. 294 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,680 Tell me it's a joke. 295 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,720 This is how. 296 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,480 Where are we even going? 297 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,200 I think we should drop the dogs off first. 298 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,640 Then I passed a storage unit on my way in. 299 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,560 Storage? Right. You've got all the answers, haven't you, 300 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,920 Mr Storage Face? 301 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,160 Sorry, you got a charger? 302 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,040 Just my phone's... 303 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,320 My wife's, it's in there. 304 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,120 That'll do it. 305 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,920 Oh, I don't understand what just happened. 306 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,560 I feel like my heart's beating right outside my chest. 307 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:41,960 Maybe that's because it is. 308 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,920 Shit. 309 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:58,880 OK. 310 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,440 OK, just... 311 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,120 Just stay calm. I am. 312 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,760 I'm talking to myself. Oh. 313 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,960 Come on, come on, come on. 314 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,640 Keep calm, remember? 315 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,200 Oh, no. What? 316 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,840 What shall I do? 317 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,520 Don't do anything. Just wait and... Huh... 318 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,440 OK. 319 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,640 I'll get out of the way, nice...and slow. 320 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,080 What the fuck are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? 321 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,800 It's a one-way street! What? Oh, shit. 322 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,440 SIREN WAILS 323 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,440 What is wrong with you? 324 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,400 I wasn't thinking. Well, start. Pull over! 325 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,560 What? What if we just hit the pedal and we don't look back? 326 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,280 We're not Thelma and Louise, you daft bastard. We're in Applebury. 327 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,640 Stop the fucking car. 328 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,760 Stay calm. Yes, yes, I know. 329 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,000 I'm talking to MYSELF now. 330 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,600 SHE SIGHS 331 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,800 RADIO CHATTER 332 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,560 Hi, officer. So, look, I'm new here, 333 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,000 and I, erm, was meant to take a different turning 334 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,480 and I ended up going down this one-way street. 335 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,520 You know you're going down a one-way street? 336 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,800 Yes, and I'm so sorry. Erm... 337 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,040 You can't do that. No, er... 338 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,080 What if a car was coming towards you? Or a bicycle? 339 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,400 Neither would be good. Or a van. 340 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,560 Absolutely. A mobility scooter. 341 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,640 Right... A kid on a skateboard. 342 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,200 Or those shoes with wheels on. 343 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,240 Can you imagine how that could have ended up? 344 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,760 Terrible. Be dead. 345 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,960 Hiya. You all right? 346 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,320 So, I really am very sorry. 347 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,680 And I'm sorry to be wasting police time. 348 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,160 It's important, the job you guys do. 349 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,120 My friend and I, we were just out walking our dogs together. 350 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,840 Dog buddies! 351 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,920 Yes, dog friends, and we got talking and, er, the turning... 352 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,400 All right. 353 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,240 Tell me something, sir. Yes. 354 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,840 In the back of your car there... 355 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,200 ..is that a whippet? 356 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:41,000 Yes, yes. Yeah, he's called Rambo. Rambo. 357 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,840 My mummy used to have a whippet. 358 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,840 Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Yeah. 359 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,200 Odd little bodies, though. You can see their ribs. 360 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,320 Yeah, you can. Ben, come on. 361 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,000 Look, all right, no harm done, all right? 362 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,200 But please be more careful next time. Yes, will do. 363 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,120 Yeah, of course. Thanks. See you later. Right. 364 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,840 Thank you so much. Thank you. 365 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,280 Dog buddies? 366 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,360 I panicked. 367 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,720 And that's just ten of the great uses for safety pins. 368 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:34,840 Harold's Life Hacks - hit the subscribe button below. 369 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,960 CAMERA BEEPS 370 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,920 Hey. We need storage. 371 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,000 Oh, and, er, these. 372 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,640 HE SIGHS 373 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,360 Right, we've got a padlock each, 374 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,600 so it needs both of us if we want to get into it. 375 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,160 Don't you trust me? 376 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,920 You said you were a lawyer, didn't you? 377 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,200 You can just ask me, you know. 378 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,400 Ask you what? My hand. You keep staring at it 379 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,480 like it's a pair of tits. No, I don't! You do. 380 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,800 It were a work accident - 381 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,080 hand versus industrial metal-pressing machine. 382 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,560 Guess who lost. 383 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,120 Good lawyer could get you six figures. 384 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,560 Oh, my God! I never thought of that! 385 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,640 No, me, erm... 386 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,440 My manager, he, er, he gave me some whisky after it happened. 387 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,160 Don't tell the bods upstairs that you saw this. 388 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,680 It'll just take the edge off it. 389 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,280 I downed the lot, 390 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,840 on account of the extreme fucking agony I were experiencing. 391 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,800 He later claimed that I were drinking on the job, 392 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,840 so, no pay-out...for me. 393 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,520 You can ask me anything, you know. 394 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,480 I'm all right, actually. 395 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,480 MOBILE RINGS 396 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,400 Sorry, got to take this. 397 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,680 Hello, Samuel speaking. 398 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:52,840 You're joking. 399 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,240 OK. No, thanks. It's great. I, erm... 400 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,440 Can I call you back? It's not a good time. 401 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,640 Thank you. 402 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,840 Who were that? It's my cat, Major Tom. 403 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,120 Your what? 404 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,840 No, my cat's not calling me, obviously. 405 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,040 It's, er, my estate agent. 406 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,280 When we moved out of the house in London, 407 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,120 the cat went AWOL, and it seems he's back. 408 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,800 You moved house and you left your cat behind? 409 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,520 What the fuck am I doing? 410 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,120 What now? 411 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,800 I don't know. 412 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,120 What are you supposed to do after something like this? 413 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,760 I thought you could use this. 414 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,960 Soy, right? Oh, Colin, you're the best! 415 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,280 It's all right. I was passing anyway. 416 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,880 I'd better be getting on. Yeah. 417 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,840 Why don't you just ask her out? 418 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,640 I've, er, actually written her a note. 419 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,400 Great. Just what every grown woman wants. 420 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,000 Follow it up by pulling her pigtails and telling her she smells 421 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,440 and you're golden. 422 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,440 Love might have been in the air for Colin, 423 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,000 but, for Arthur Lake, 424 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,160 it was quite the opposite. 425 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,200 As he sat there lost in a haze of pain and sadness, 426 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,240 the last thing he needed to hear was the words... 427 00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:45,040 You all right, buddy? 428 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,440 Buddy? 429 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,560 Who are you? Ben. 430 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,800 You don't know me. Or my name. Clearly. 431 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,000 I just wanted to say how sorry I was about what happened 432 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,560 to your life-partner. 433 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,080 I really am sorry, buddy. 434 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,880 It's all right if I call you buddy, isn't it? 435 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,120 He seemed nice. 436 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,360 I'm not that way inclined, you know, but if I were, I'd be interested. 437 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,160 He probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway, would he? 438 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,640 I wonder who would. 439 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,680 Ian, maybe. 440 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,120 Do you know Ian? 441 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,120 Arthur... Come on. 442 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:31,640 How are you doing? 443 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,320 As you'd expect. 444 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,560 I know you'd rather be anywhere but here right now, 445 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,120 only something's come up. 446 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,640 How do you mean? 447 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,320 Mark took a unit boat out onto the water, 448 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,200 but the case number he assigned to it... 449 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,440 It doesn't exist. 450 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,320 Sorry, I don't... Erm... 451 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,560 What are you asking me? 452 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,960 He takes a police vessel out into the ocean - at night, on his own. 453 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,440 Next thing we know, we find him in that fishing boat 454 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,680 with an as yet unidentified body. 455 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,640 Are you saying he was on the take? 456 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,120 Because if you are, sir, that's some fucking bollocks. 457 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,720 Not here, lad. In my office. I'm fine where I am, thanks. 458 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:10,040 We're just trying to piece things together, that's all. 459 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,920 I fucking loved him! 460 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,240 So don't you dare stand there and make out like 461 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,040 him being killed was somehow his fault! 462 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,240 Mark was a good officer. 463 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,360 The whole force has suffered a loss today. 464 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,960 HE CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY 465 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,200 Nice eulogy. 466 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,400 You going to bury his reputation alongside his fucking corpse? 467 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,880 Nice and easy. 468 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,560 Good boy. 469 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,480 I'm not doing rock, paper, scissors. 470 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:56,680 Why? 471 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,000 Cos it's stupid. 472 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,840 And we've got pubes now, that's why. 473 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,200 Well, how about foot, cockroach, nuclear bomb? 474 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,600 What the fuck is that? 475 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,520 Well, it's basically rock, paper, scissors. 476 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,400 Oh, for fuck's sake. No, I'm not doing it. 477 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,000 All right, Ron, answer me this. 478 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,280 How many times did you fail your driving test? 479 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,080 Twice. 480 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,400 Three times. 481 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,040 Fucked up the three-point turn. 482 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,360 Well, there you go. 483 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,200 You're driving this time. 484 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,680 Oh, and do me a favour, 485 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,920 have a little think about what we're going to eat later. 486 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,720 This place I drew the map on looks lovely. 487 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,280 20% voucher off and all, eh? 488 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:38,640 THEY LAUGH 489 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,240 You know it makes sense. 490 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,480 Right, let's do it. 491 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,520 PACKET RUSTLES 492 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,080 HE MUNCHES 493 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,120 PHONE RINGS 494 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,440 Hmm... 495 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,360 PACKET RUSTLES 496 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,680 SHOTGUN COCKS 497 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,640 ENTRY SYSTEM BUZZES 498 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,120 SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE 499 00:43:05,240 --> 00:43:07,680 GUNFIRE CONTINUES 500 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,960 SHOUTING AND SCREAMING 501 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,600 SHRIEK, GUNSHOT 502 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:29,160 NOISE ECHOES 503 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,640 Please, no... 504 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,640 GUNSHOT 505 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:39,560 Please... Plea-... 506 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,440 SHOTGUN COCKS 507 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,120 HE STRAINS 508 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,880 TINY SQUEAK 509 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,520 HE BREATHES HEAVILY 510 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,880 Get down, get down... 511 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,960 Read it when this is done, would you? Sh. 512 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,840 DOOR OPENS 513 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,760 No, no. 514 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,640 SHE SCREAMS 515 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,960 Stand up. 516 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,560 Where's the evidence locker? 517 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,000 It says it should fucking be here, now where is it? 518 00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,080 I think it's the wrong way round. 519 00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,800 Ah... 520 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,520 HE LAUGHS 521 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,200 Cheers. 522 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,520 GUNSHOT 523 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,480 HE EXHALES 524 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,000 PHONE LINE BLEEPS 525 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,520 Wrong fucking floor. Basement. 526 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,480 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 527 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,160 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 528 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,960 No, no, no. 529 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,880 It's not here. 530 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,480 It's fucking not here. 531 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,320 ENGINE STARTS 532 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,920 PHONE PINGS 533 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,000 It were just a friend. 534 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,040 PHONE PINGS 535 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,880 Oh! Get two-for-one with a fax machine there, did you? 536 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,080 No. 537 00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,200 It's so I don't have a 24-hour casino in my pocket. 538 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,640 Ah, sorry. 539 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,680 Ah, OK... 540 00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,000 Why are you looking at me like that? 541 00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,840 Because I am wondering why you agreed to do something like this. 542 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,400 Cos you're so persuasive. 543 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,640 Let me tell you something. 544 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:08,720 You know my secrets... 545 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,560 ..all of them. Fucking hell. 546 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,120 HE LAUGHS 547 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,360 You're the only person in the world who does. 548 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,000 I reckon this is a safe space. 549 00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:22,920 OK. 550 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,840 That weren't me friend that texted earlier. 551 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,400 It were me ex, Peter. 552 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,960 Cos I accidentally, on purpose - 553 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,960 - very on-purpose - bumped into our boy 554 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,520 the other day and he mentioned a restraining order again. 555 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,480 A restraining order? That's your son, isn't it? 556 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,920 He's not, actually. I mean, he is. 557 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,880 He were just a baby when I met his dad. 558 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,120 His mum had buggered off and then suddenly there I were. 559 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,360 Not a bloody clue what I were doing. 560 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,480 And I bloody loved it, every minute. 561 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,920 Anyway, Peter, he met a younger model 562 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,240 who were hard for Jesus, so that were that. 563 00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:59,920 So, now I can't see him any more. 564 00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:02,360 So, from being a mum to being... 565 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,880 ..numb, I suppose. 566 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,720 Yeah, like I never fucking existed. 567 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:13,200 That's shit. Sorry. 568 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,040 Oh, fucking hell. 569 00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,280 Can I... Can I show you something? 570 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,080 So, this is...yours? 571 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,280 It's the last painting I sold. 572 00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,280 It's beautiful. 573 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,120 Yeah, at least I kept the hand I paint with. 574 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:41,800 No, I mean it. 575 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,680 You have real talent. 576 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,240 Shades of Demuth... 577 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,000 Charles Demuth. 578 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,000 TANNOY CHIMES 579 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,320 OK... 580 00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,440 ANNOUNCEMENT: Attention, all shoppers, 581 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:57,560 Tinley Shopping Centre will close today at 4pm due to an incident... 582 00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,640 Yep. Years of effort and if you're lucky, 583 00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,920 maybe you get a spot in the Tinley Centre. 584 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,120 Why'd you bring me here? 585 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:12,520 Sometimes I come here and I pretend like I'm in some art gallery 586 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,680 and it's like I'm in some alternate reality 587 00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,600 where I'm not the unluckiest person in the world. 588 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,760 So why did...? 589 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,560 You asked me 590 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,600 why I agreed to do this, right? Mm-hm. 591 00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,880 Cos everything I thought I had - 592 00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,560 my future, me... Me fucking fingers, 593 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,280 and me boy - 594 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,200 it's all nothing. 595 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,760 And I am... I am done with nothing. 596 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,040 And you need to know that. 597 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,520 Do not fuck me over on this. 598 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,480 Do not fuck me over on this, please. 599 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,960 MOBILE RINGS 600 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,000 You OK, love? 601 00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,720 He hasn't told you anything, has he? 602 00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:01,320 Who? Oh, your dad? 603 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,200 No, no, apart from where I can stick it. Why? 604 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,880 It's just, it feels like there's something going on. 605 00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,760 Like, afoot, you might even say. 606 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:15,520 Dad and Suzie, they keep going quiet whenever I come into a room like... 607 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,200 Got to go. He's coming back. 608 00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:20,840 Alan. Alan? 609 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,960 Fuck's sake. 610 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,960 SHE TUTS 611 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,920 Well, we should probably, er, call it a night 612 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,920 before your cat takes out a second mortgage. 613 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:33,800 Yes, yes, yes. 614 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,520 The family will be wondering where I got to. 615 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,080 So, erm, all right. 616 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,480 Well, then, erm, yeah. 617 00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,400 I'll... I'll... 618 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,720 I'll be in touch. Oh... 619 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,120 Right, leave it to the one with one hand. 620 00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,560 Actually, I can't just go and pretend it's been a normal day. 621 00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,000 I'm going to go and drink some more. 622 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,080 So, despite what you said, you are welcome to come and join me. 623 00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:07,440 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 624 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:16,040 Let's leave Janet and Samuel doing karaoke... 625 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,640 ..and go find Arthur running 626 00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,880 away from grief 627 00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,880 PHONE RINGS 628 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,040 and towards a whole new set of problems. 629 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,240 Look, whatever you're selling, piss off, all right? 630 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:33,200 I'm not selling anything, Mr Lake. 631 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,880 How are you? 632 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,160 Who's this? 633 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,000 Le Tailleur. 634 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,840 The Tailor, like you would say. 635 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,920 But, like most things, it sounds better in French. 636 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,840 We haven't met, but you have something of mine, I think. 637 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,000 I don't know what you're talking about. 638 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,040 The boat was found, and two bodies - 639 00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:55,680 my associate, your partner, 640 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,800 and the boat's cargo is gone. 641 00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,040 My people checked the police evidence room. 642 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,640 I've done my work, you see. 643 00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,240 You were working together to steal from me. 644 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,120 Mate, I don't know who the fuck you are 645 00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,000 or what the fuck you are talking about, all right? 646 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,800 Don't. Please. 647 00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,440 Another shipment of mine was taken six weeks ago. 648 00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,080 Two men in police uniform. 649 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,560 Now, one, I can shrug it off - 650 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,120 bad luck, the cost of doing business - 651 00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,160 but two...? Get fucked. 652 00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:29,480 I believe appearances are very important, 653 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,880 no matter what your business. 654 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:36,720 Perception is no mere superficial concern, it is everything. 655 00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:39,360 And the perception of my organisation, 656 00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,760 to lose two shipments... 657 00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,400 You see my problem? 658 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,760 Seems to me you've got another problem, pal. 659 00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,320 You've got to find me first. 660 00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,160 # Ground Control to Major Tom... # 661 00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,960 He claimed not to know anything. 662 00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:04,040 So, I have a journey to make. 663 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,080 No, no, I'm looking forward to it. 664 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:11,040 It's good to get out of the house once in a while. 665 00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,200 The thing about stories is, 666 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,960 it's they can take you anywhere. 667 00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:20,240 To well-paid mass murderers in search of 20% discounts... 668 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,920 ..to the places that we thought were gone 669 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,520 and maybe lost forever. 670 00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:33,360 Fairy tales about frogs being kissed that needed an ending... 671 00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,720 ..to a boy playing an instrument 672 00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:41,760 thinking about the mother he wishes could be his mother. 673 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:50,280 # This is Ground Control to Major Tom 674 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:54,080 # You've really made the grade 675 00:55:55,360 --> 00:56:00,560 # And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear 676 00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:08,080 # Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare... # 677 00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:11,120 I will find the money and hang them from the sky. 678 00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,320 When I'm done... 679 00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,080 ..there will be nothing left. 680 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,520 Yes, stories can take us anywhere, 681 00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,960 sometimes even back to the beginning, 682 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,000 or the end, depending on how you look at it. 683 00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,920 I'll give you a fiver to touch it. 684 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,400 You reckon we should tell someone? 685 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,200 Oi! 78078

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