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1
00:00:58,154 --> 00:00:59,918
Goodbye, darling.
2
00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,358
Just one more, Mrs. Bryant.
3
00:01:05,695 --> 00:01:08,221
- Does your husband know?
- Certainly not, Mr. Solo.
4
00:01:08,398 --> 00:01:11,493
Besides, who's going to try to
kidnap me with you at my side? Get in.
5
00:01:11,668 --> 00:01:13,949
As the wife of the leading
presidential candidate...
6
00:01:14,103 --> 00:01:16,072
I could give you a list
from here to Mendocino.
7
00:01:22,545 --> 00:01:25,225
Good morning. I'm sorry I'm late,
but I had to pack for the senator.
8
00:01:25,381 --> 00:01:27,145
Why, certainly, Mrs. Bryant.
9
00:01:27,317 --> 00:01:29,650
Monsieur François is in
Booth 10 waiting for you.
10
00:01:29,819 --> 00:01:31,378
Thank you.
11
00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:35,022
Uh, gentlemen are not allowed
beyond these portals, sir.
12
00:01:35,191 --> 00:01:37,820
Well, I'm no
gentleman. I'm the press.
13
00:01:37,994 --> 00:01:40,225
And taking pictures
of Mrs. Bryant?
14
00:01:40,396 --> 00:01:42,524
"A Day in the Life of a
Candidate's Wife," you know.
15
00:01:42,699 --> 00:01:43,792
Mm-hm.
16
00:01:48,404 --> 00:01:49,531
Monsieur François?
17
00:01:50,807 --> 00:01:54,039
Uh, there is a press photographer
here who came in with Mrs. Bryant.
18
00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,405
A Mister, uh...?
19
00:01:55,578 --> 00:01:57,877
Uh, Solo. Napoleon Solo.
20
00:01:58,414 --> 00:02:00,076
Solo.
21
00:02:00,249 --> 00:02:02,844
Taking pictures for a
story on Mrs. Bryant.
22
00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:04,612
Thank you.
23
00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:06,680
It will be quite
all right, Mr. Solo.
24
00:02:06,856 --> 00:02:09,883
Only, in order not to make our
other customers self-conscious...
25
00:02:10,059 --> 00:02:11,618
do you mind?
26
00:02:11,961 --> 00:02:15,625
Now, let's see if
this is your size.
27
00:02:16,332 --> 00:02:18,597
- Mm-hm.
- Hmm.
28
00:02:20,336 --> 00:02:23,272
Good morning,
madam. I am Etienne.
29
00:02:23,439 --> 00:02:25,408
Isn't François taking
care of me this morning?
30
00:02:25,575 --> 00:02:27,840
He will be in presently, madam.
31
00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:35,012
- Mm!
- Too warm, madam?
32
00:02:35,184 --> 00:02:36,675
Mm-hm.
33
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:38,613
But it is good for you. - Oh.
34
00:02:38,755 --> 00:02:40,018
It cleanses the pores.
35
00:02:40,189 --> 00:02:42,181
But it's so hot.
36
00:02:43,860 --> 00:02:44,860
Oh.
37
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,565
Are the towels too hot, madam?
38
00:02:52,735 --> 00:02:54,101
No, they're wonderful.
39
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:57,001
In fact, I feel like a
different woman already.
40
00:02:57,173 --> 00:02:59,369
Exactly what we're
trying to achieve, madam.
41
00:03:01,811 --> 00:03:04,144
To make you into a new woman.
42
00:04:04,507 --> 00:04:06,339
Good afternoon.
43
00:04:06,609 --> 00:04:08,009
Mr. Solo.
44
00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:10,612
It's exactly three hours,
eight and a half minutes...
45
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,305
since you've
contacted this office.
46
00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:13,780
So long? Well, I'm sorry, sir.
47
00:04:13,950 --> 00:04:16,110
Time passes so quickly when
you're in pleasant company.
48
00:04:16,252 --> 00:04:18,153
Such a charming
woman, Mrs. Bryant.
49
00:04:18,321 --> 00:04:19,619
Exactly.
50
00:04:19,789 --> 00:04:22,918
And you were assigned, Mr. Solo,
to protect her from being kidnapped.
51
00:04:23,092 --> 00:04:25,357
Yes, I can assure you,
she's in the best of health.
52
00:04:25,528 --> 00:04:27,724
After her beauty
appointment, we had cocktails.
53
00:04:27,897 --> 00:04:30,594
I dropped her off at her
hotel. Delightful morning.
54
00:04:30,766 --> 00:04:34,328
Well, the trouble, Mr. Solo, is that
however delightful the lady may be...
55
00:04:34,504 --> 00:04:36,268
she is not Mrs. Bryant.
56
00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:38,964
Say what?
57
00:04:44,847 --> 00:04:47,874
You are looking at an
audiogram, Napoleon.
58
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:52,784
An exact electronic replica of Mrs.
Bryant's voice, taken from our files.
59
00:04:53,222 --> 00:04:56,056
In an effort to find you,
we just telephoned...
60
00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:59,992
and spoke to the woman
calling herself Mrs. Bryant.
61
00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:03,996
This is that audiogram
taken 10 minutes ago.
62
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,193
You notice anything?
63
00:05:06,369 --> 00:05:10,204
Well, they're not very
much alike, are they?
64
00:05:10,373 --> 00:05:11,966
They're not in the least alike.
65
00:05:12,141 --> 00:05:14,906
Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped
and is now somewhere in the city...
66
00:05:15,077 --> 00:05:17,512
in the hands of
Thrush, thanks to you.
67
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,720
That's impossible. I mean,
there must be some error.
68
00:05:19,882 --> 00:05:22,875
I never left her side for more
than a minute all morning.
69
00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:26,386
Well, a minute's quite enough.
Even 30 seconds, for that matter.
70
00:05:26,556 --> 00:05:28,081
No, I still don't believe it.
71
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:30,325
See for yourself.
72
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:33,361
I'm afraid this time, Napoleon,
they've put one over on you.
73
00:05:33,529 --> 00:05:34,969
Well, where could
they have done it?
74
00:05:35,131 --> 00:05:38,863
I was photographing her all
morning, I didn't leave her side except...
75
00:05:39,835 --> 00:05:41,599
once I...
76
00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:46,173
Well, to put on a little
smock at the beauty parlor.
77
00:05:46,676 --> 00:05:48,440
You must have looked divine.
78
00:05:48,611 --> 00:05:50,580
Well, that must have been it.
79
00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:53,773
Mr. Kuryakin, they don't
know you there as yet.
80
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:56,977
Check out the place
and the personnel.
81
00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:04,289
Senator Bryant is leaving
for Washington in 45 minutes.
82
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,929
I suggest you get to him
on the double, Mr. Solo.
83
00:06:07,096 --> 00:06:08,189
Does he know?
84
00:06:09,932 --> 00:06:11,298
That's why I want you to hurry.
85
00:06:11,467 --> 00:06:13,959
Well, what could
I say to him, uh...?
86
00:06:14,136 --> 00:06:17,004
Well, I don't know
the exact words...
87
00:06:17,173 --> 00:06:20,053
but I think, surely, the senator
has a right to know that the woman...
88
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:22,576
who's kissing him
goodbye is not his wife.
89
00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:24,547
Oh...
90
00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:27,482
Yes, sir.
91
00:06:31,354 --> 00:06:32,652
Where am I?
92
00:06:33,122 --> 00:06:34,842
My dear Mrs.
Bryant, no harm will...
93
00:06:34,957 --> 00:06:36,482
What are you doing with me?
94
00:06:36,659 --> 00:06:38,787
Nothing to be alarmed
about, my dear lady.
95
00:06:40,129 --> 00:06:41,893
My husband, where's my husband?
96
00:06:42,064 --> 00:06:46,024
At the moment, enjoying the company
of a very charming young lady...
97
00:06:46,202 --> 00:06:50,936
who has the good taste to be an
exact duplicate of yourself, Mrs. Bryant.
98
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:53,566
A duplicate of me?
99
00:06:53,743 --> 00:06:55,507
A remarkable one.
100
00:06:55,678 --> 00:06:58,580
You see, we've been able
to condition the young lady...
101
00:06:58,748 --> 00:07:01,115
so that she not only
looks like Miranda Bryant...
102
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,611
but is completely briefed
in every nuance of your life.
103
00:07:04,787 --> 00:07:09,691
Or at least as many nuances as
she'll require for the next 48 hours.
104
00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:12,220
And then we'll be
able to send you back...
105
00:07:12,395 --> 00:07:17,424
suitably conditioned to
obey our slightest command.
106
00:07:19,435 --> 00:07:20,869
You monster.
107
00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:23,658
Prepare the anesthetic, please.
108
00:07:41,724 --> 00:07:43,955
Great. We've got New
Jersey locked up now.
109
00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:46,095
We should get a few
more from upstate, huh?
110
00:07:46,262 --> 00:07:49,528
Go talk to the man. Nicely.
111
00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,143
Fairbanks, Senator
Bryant? I've got to see him.
112
00:08:00,309 --> 00:08:01,902
You and 200 others.
113
00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,979
He's on his way to the airport.
114
00:08:04,146 --> 00:08:07,674
Got an appointment in Washington
to see the president in four hours.
115
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:08,909
He's left?
116
00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:12,487
Well, almost. He's in there
saying goodbye to his wife.
117
00:08:13,422 --> 00:08:16,221
I, uh... I wouldn't if I
were you, young man.
118
00:08:16,392 --> 00:08:19,726
After all, they're still
practically newlyweds.
119
00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:22,455
I must see him before he
leaves. It's absolutely top priority.
120
00:08:22,631 --> 00:08:25,499
- It's personal and urgent.
- Hmm.
121
00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:28,661
- You're one of Waverly's men, huh?
- That's right.
122
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:34,042
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
123
00:08:35,678 --> 00:08:37,874
Excuse me, girls.
Excuse me, please.
124
00:08:38,047 --> 00:08:39,174
It's all right, Joseph.
125
00:08:42,051 --> 00:08:44,179
Oh, excuse me.
126
00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:51,459
Mr. Solo, demon photographer is
one thing, peeping Tom quite another.
127
00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:53,858
Mr. Solo was my escort
this morning, darling.
128
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:55,292
Oh, yes. Hello, Mr. Solo.
129
00:08:55,464 --> 00:08:57,456
Uh, hello, senator.
I... I must speak to you.
130
00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:59,226
It's rather urgent.
131
00:08:59,402 --> 00:09:00,402
Well, go ahead.
132
00:09:00,569 --> 00:09:02,629
Well, it's also
confidential. Uh...
133
00:09:03,105 --> 00:09:06,075
Mr. Fairbanks had
better stay, but, uh...
134
00:09:06,242 --> 00:09:08,802
I have no secrets
from my wife, Mr. Solo.
135
00:09:08,978 --> 00:09:11,573
It's all right, darling,
I'll wait for you outside.
136
00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:21,213
Great girl. Always understands.
137
00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:23,291
Are you married, Mr. Solo?
138
00:09:23,459 --> 00:09:25,428
Uh, no, I'm not.
139
00:09:25,895 --> 00:09:27,386
Nothing like it, believe me.
140
00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:29,464
I do, uh, senator.
141
00:09:29,632 --> 00:09:32,261
- Don't forget Charlie, huh?
- Charlie. Say, that's a good idea.
142
00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:34,155
- Read about him.
- Senator, senator, uh...
143
00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:37,001
Uh, Mr. Solo, I have about three
minutes. Now, what's on your mind?
144
00:09:37,173 --> 00:09:39,642
All right, uh, believe me,
what I am going to say now...
145
00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:41,449
will not make a
great deal of sense...
146
00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:44,842
but, uh, the woman that
you were just kissing...?
147
00:09:46,449 --> 00:09:48,247
She's not your wife.
148
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:50,642
What?
149
00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:53,745
I... I don't believe
I read you, sir.
150
00:09:53,923 --> 00:09:57,758
I... I know she looks like your wife,
senator, and she acts like your wife...
151
00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:00,920
and she sounds like your
wife, but she's not your wife.
152
00:10:01,464 --> 00:10:04,457
And no one wishes she were
more than I do. It's just that, uh...
153
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:07,833
I know she's a very
reasonable facsimile.
154
00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:09,164
Very, but...
155
00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:13,605
she is not genuine box top.
156
00:10:14,743 --> 00:10:17,338
Do you know what he's talking
about? Am I crazy or is he crazy?
157
00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:20,483
I don't know. He is one
of Waverly's men, but...
158
00:10:21,116 --> 00:10:22,812
Now, my wife is not my wife?
159
00:10:23,219 --> 00:10:26,155
Uh, no, she isn't. The real
Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped.
160
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:29,648
Mr. Solo, are you trying to tell
me that I don't know my own wife?
161
00:10:30,993 --> 00:10:33,189
- Well, let's find out.
- Uh, senator, believe me.
162
00:10:33,362 --> 00:10:37,129
Uh, someone has gone to a great deal
of trouble to make us think otherwise.
163
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:40,360
The real Mrs. Bryant
has been kidnapped.
164
00:10:40,536 --> 00:10:43,028
Now, uh, if you reveal
that we're on to them now...
165
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:46,039
I don't know what might happen
to her, the real Mrs. Bryant.
166
00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,336
All right, Arnold, call
the FBI, call the CIA.
167
00:10:48,511 --> 00:10:50,844
No, you mustn't,
for the same reason.
168
00:10:51,013 --> 00:10:52,013
He's right, senator.
169
00:10:52,181 --> 00:10:55,879
Let's just... Let's just
wait a minute now.
170
00:10:56,051 --> 00:10:59,351
I'm as taken aback
by this thing as you are.
171
00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:04,550
I don't know that I believe
it, but whatever we do...
172
00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:06,218
we've got to move carefully.
173
00:11:06,395 --> 00:11:09,627
There are 5000 people waiting
out there to nominate you...
174
00:11:09,798 --> 00:11:12,324
as their candidate for
president the end of the week.
175
00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:14,629
Any kind of scandal
could tip this whole thing.
176
00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:16,669
Arnold, we're not
talking politics now.
177
00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:18,808
We're talking about my
wife, do you understand?
178
00:11:18,974 --> 00:11:20,806
My wife and her safety.
179
00:11:20,976 --> 00:11:23,810
If what this man says is
true, even partially true...
180
00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:31,050
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Your car's ready, darling.
181
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,225
It's impossible.
182
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:39,856
You mean that she isn't my wife?
183
00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:43,266
I'm afraid she isn't, senator.
184
00:11:47,536 --> 00:11:50,096
What do you want me to do?
- Go to Washington.
185
00:11:50,272 --> 00:11:51,865
Just as if nothing has happened.
186
00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:55,603
When you come back, we
will have found Mrs. Bryant.
187
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,709
All right.
188
00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:10,657
But if you're wrong about any of
this, if anything happens to my wife...
189
00:12:11,393 --> 00:12:15,489
I'll not only have your job or any
job you ever hope to have, Mr. Solo...
190
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:17,155
but I'll take on U.N.C.L.E.
191
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:19,859
- And when I'm finished...
- Yes.
192
00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:21,628
I understand, senator.
193
00:12:21,804 --> 00:12:23,363
Good.
194
00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:55,700
You take good care of
her, Mr. Solo. Stay close.
195
00:12:55,871 --> 00:12:56,871
Every minute.
196
00:12:57,039 --> 00:12:59,479
And, darling, you're not to
take that kidnap threat seriously.
197
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:01,440
I'm sure it's just
one of those cranks.
198
00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:05,209
Well, you never
know about cranks.
199
00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:14,816
You'll call me tonight?
200
00:13:14,990 --> 00:13:16,549
As soon as I can.
201
00:13:16,725 --> 00:13:18,717
Whatever the
hour, I'll be awake.
202
00:13:18,894 --> 00:13:20,556
Let's go.
203
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,591
Where are we going?
204
00:13:51,994 --> 00:13:54,225
Just for a ride.
205
00:13:55,097 --> 00:13:57,293
Don't you like the view?
206
00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:00,259
Mr. Solo, watching
over me is one thing.
207
00:14:00,436 --> 00:14:03,873
Treating me like I'm a
prisoner is quite another.
208
00:14:05,774 --> 00:14:08,505
Why don't you stop pretending?
209
00:14:09,945 --> 00:14:11,777
What don't I what?
210
00:14:12,214 --> 00:14:15,082
Why don't you stop your
very clever impersonation...
211
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,583
of Mrs. Bryant?
212
00:14:18,787 --> 00:14:20,619
My what?
213
00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:23,692
Mr. Solo.
214
00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:27,490
We'll solve the puzzle
in a minute or two.
215
00:14:27,663 --> 00:14:29,655
Take this, will you?
216
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,594
Take what?
217
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:34,828
It's concentrated truth
serum in tablet form.
218
00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:39,608
Now, I would rather that you would tell
us everything of your own volition, but...
219
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,403
Of my...?
220
00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:43,508
Driver, stop this
car and let me out.
221
00:14:43,679 --> 00:14:47,446
I'm sorry, madam, that's
quite impossible in this traffic.
222
00:14:51,186 --> 00:14:52,986
Mr. Solo, have you taken
leave of your senses?
223
00:14:53,155 --> 00:14:54,748
Stop this car and let me out.
224
00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:56,824
No, not until you tell
me who's behind you...
225
00:14:56,992 --> 00:15:00,554
what they've done with the
senator's wife, and where she is.
226
00:15:00,796 --> 00:15:03,288
You've gone mad.
You're absolutely mad.
227
00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:06,594
I would rather you would cooperate
of your own will, but if you won't.
228
00:15:06,769 --> 00:15:08,499
You'd better take
the pill, madam...
229
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:11,572
or Napoleon will be forced to hold
your nose and make you take it.
230
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:13,470
He wouldn't dare.
231
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:14,642
Is that right?
232
00:15:23,652 --> 00:15:29,489
Eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
233
00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:30,817
Blast off.
234
00:15:30,993 --> 00:15:32,154
What's your name?
235
00:15:32,327 --> 00:15:33,955
Miranda Bryant.
236
00:15:34,129 --> 00:15:38,066
No, no, that's not right. Before I
was married, it was Miranda Field.
237
00:15:38,233 --> 00:15:41,101
In school, they called me Butch,
my mother called me Blinkums...
238
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:43,239
and my husband
calls me sweetie pie.
239
00:15:43,405 --> 00:15:45,670
Hmm, that's odd. It's never
worked like that before.
240
00:15:45,841 --> 00:15:47,601
Maybe her blood has
a high resistance factor.
241
00:15:47,743 --> 00:15:48,870
Give her another pill.
242
00:15:49,044 --> 00:15:50,672
Oh. Here.
243
00:15:51,513 --> 00:15:52,513
Thank you.
244
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:54,309
There was a girl in Honduras.
245
00:15:54,817 --> 00:15:58,049
I had to give her three pills
before she'd tell her right age.
246
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,552
Is that right?
247
00:15:59,721 --> 00:16:04,216
Seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one, blast off.
248
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:05,513
Once more, what's your name?
249
00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:07,630
Miranda Bryant.
250
00:16:07,796 --> 00:16:10,265
Before I was married,
it was Miranda Field.
251
00:16:10,432 --> 00:16:12,663
When I was in school,
they called me Butch.
252
00:16:12,835 --> 00:16:14,875
- My mother called me...
- All right, that's enough.
253
00:16:14,903 --> 00:16:18,169
- Butch I know about.
- You better try another tack.
254
00:16:18,373 --> 00:16:20,672
Where did you first meet
the senator, madam?
255
00:16:22,444 --> 00:16:24,970
I met him in Arnold
Fairbanks' office.
256
00:16:25,147 --> 00:16:28,845
I was working as a volunteer
on his last campaign.
257
00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:31,380
Do you love your husband?
258
00:16:31,553 --> 00:16:33,181
Madly.
259
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:38,059
Why are you yawning then?
260
00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:40,696
Does the idea of your
husband bore you?
261
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:43,958
Oh, no, no, no. My
husband's the most marvel...
262
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:45,132
Excuse me.
263
00:16:47,736 --> 00:16:49,671
He's the most marvelous
man in the world.
264
00:16:49,838 --> 00:16:52,774
I beg your pardon, but all
of a sudden, I'm very sleepy.
265
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:55,672
- Wonderful.
- Sleepy? Now?
266
00:16:55,844 --> 00:16:57,404
She can't be. She's
not supposed to be.
267
00:16:57,579 --> 00:16:58,638
- No, no.
- Wake her up.
268
00:16:58,814 --> 00:17:00,094
Wake up. Wake up. Don't do that.
269
00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:03,219
- You know something? You're very nice.
- Stay awake.
270
00:17:03,385 --> 00:17:05,183
- Come on now.
- You're very nice.
271
00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:07,482
I think I could rather like you.
272
00:17:07,656 --> 00:17:09,591
- Don't. Stop that now. Sit up.
- This is soft.
273
00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:12,387
- Keep your eyes open.
- Napoleon, really.
274
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:14,120
Don't you ever turn it off?
275
00:17:14,296 --> 00:17:16,595
Well, it's not my fault.
276
00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:19,064
When you've got
it, you've got it.
277
00:17:19,434 --> 00:17:21,164
I've got it.
278
00:17:35,417 --> 00:17:37,181
Miranda?
279
00:17:39,254 --> 00:17:40,950
Ethel?
280
00:17:41,156 --> 00:17:42,156
Jean?
281
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:43,724
Pat?
282
00:17:44,426 --> 00:17:45,985
Eunice?
283
00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:49,427
Miss Doe?
284
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:52,967
Strange.
285
00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:57,605
Yes?
286
00:17:58,674 --> 00:17:59,835
It is I.
287
00:18:00,008 --> 00:18:01,601
How's the sleeping beauty?
288
00:18:01,777 --> 00:18:03,109
Well, still sleeping.
289
00:18:03,278 --> 00:18:05,645
It's been three hours now.
290
00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:08,374
You Prince
Charmings are all alike.
291
00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:11,918
I've always told you that one day,
your devastating charm would backfire.
292
00:18:12,087 --> 00:18:15,546
Well, there's a first time for everything.
What did you dig up at François?
293
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:16,987
Nothing so far.
294
00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:19,856
I blew all the circuits and flushed
the old dears in hair curlers...
295
00:18:20,028 --> 00:18:22,964
into the street, but I
couldn't find anything.
296
00:18:23,365 --> 00:18:25,994
Are you sure that's where
the switch took place?
297
00:18:26,168 --> 00:18:28,433
If it did happen, it couldn't
have been anywhere else.
298
00:18:28,603 --> 00:18:31,596
What do you mean, "If it did
happen"? You having doubts?
299
00:18:31,773 --> 00:18:34,333
You heard her this afternoon.
She never fumbled an answer once.
300
00:18:34,509 --> 00:18:37,741
Well, she could have been programmed
into believing she's Miranda Bryant.
301
00:18:37,913 --> 00:18:39,074
That might be.
302
00:18:39,247 --> 00:18:42,843
Tell you what, I'll have
another go at Madame X here.
303
00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:45,146
You take another crack at
the beauty salon, all right?
304
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,155
All right, but it will have
to be after the shop closes.
305
00:18:49,324 --> 00:18:50,758
Hey, that's breaking
and entering.
306
00:18:50,926 --> 00:18:52,622
That's what you do best.
307
00:18:52,794 --> 00:18:56,458
- What did you say?
- I said, "That's what you do best."
308
00:19:32,968 --> 00:19:34,937
Come on, up. Get up.
Get up. IRINA: Mm. Unh.
309
00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:36,662
Come on, walk. - Unh, unh.
310
00:19:36,838 --> 00:19:40,275
Walk, come on. Walk,
walk, walk. Walk, walk, walk.
311
00:19:40,442 --> 00:19:42,502
- Good. Get on your feet.
Come on, walk. IRINA: Unh.
312
00:19:42,677 --> 00:19:45,670
Now, all right now, hold on. I
want you to drink some coffee.
313
00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:46,974
Hold on. Hold on now.
314
00:19:47,149 --> 00:19:48,583
Oh!
315
00:19:51,053 --> 00:19:53,215
All right, now
drink some of this.
316
00:19:53,388 --> 00:19:56,068
- Here. Come on, drink, drink, drink.
- No, I don't want any coffee.
317
00:19:56,158 --> 00:19:58,236
Drink, drink, drink
up. Drink some of this.
318
00:19:58,260 --> 00:19:59,287
I don't like coffee.
319
00:19:59,461 --> 00:20:00,588
Drink it.
320
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:02,094
- That's good, all right.
- Ugh.
321
00:20:02,264 --> 00:20:04,290
Now, walk around. You
slept too long as it is.
322
00:20:04,466 --> 00:20:05,900
Come on now, walk.
323
00:20:06,068 --> 00:20:09,266
- Don't make me drag you. Walk around.
- I don't wanna. Stop. Ha-ha-ha.
324
00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:11,873
- There's nothing funny.
Come on, now. IRINA: Ha-ha-ha!
325
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,235
Up. Drink some more coffee.
326
00:20:13,408 --> 00:20:15,848
- I don't want any more coffee.
- Get up, get up, get up.
327
00:20:15,977 --> 00:20:20,381
Here, drink some more. Good, good.
Good coffee. Warm, good. Mm, yeah.
328
00:20:20,549 --> 00:20:22,789
- Like that? Now we take another walk.
- I don't like it.
329
00:20:22,851 --> 00:20:25,651
- I don't like this. I want to sleep.
- You slept too long. Walk again.
330
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,384
You walk. Good? All
right. IRINA: Okay, I walk.
331
00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:31,118
Oh! Unh. Come on. - Ha-ha-ha!
332
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:32,293
Up!
333
00:20:34,496 --> 00:20:38,058
Ooh! Those lights are so bright.
Would you shut the light off, please?
334
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:39,826
- Light?
- Yes.
335
00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:42,266
Unh. All right.
336
00:20:43,605 --> 00:20:45,096
Come on, now.
337
00:20:45,273 --> 00:20:47,105
Get up. Come on, up, up.
338
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:50,404
- I don't want to. No.
- Go in the bathroom, wash your face.
339
00:20:50,579 --> 00:20:53,014
Come on, walk.
You've gotta walk.
340
00:20:53,181 --> 00:20:55,621
- Come on, walk. Walk, walk.
- I have to walk. I lost my shoe.
341
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:56,810
- Walk.
- I lost...
342
00:22:41,623 --> 00:22:43,592
Thank you.
343
00:22:44,059 --> 00:22:45,220
Where did you learn judo?
344
00:22:46,194 --> 00:22:47,423
What?
345
00:22:47,596 --> 00:22:50,088
That was the greatest
demonstration.
346
00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:52,029
Who taught you?
347
00:22:52,467 --> 00:22:54,902
- Taught me what?
- Judo.
348
00:22:57,072 --> 00:22:58,665
Well, I...
349
00:22:59,407 --> 00:23:00,407
I saw you...
350
00:23:02,177 --> 00:23:06,308
- Well, he was after you, and I just...
- Don't apologize. You did the right thing.
351
00:23:07,148 --> 00:23:09,549
- He was gonna kill you.
- Ha, ha. He was indeed.
352
00:23:09,718 --> 00:23:11,482
Why?
353
00:23:11,686 --> 00:23:14,588
I'm not sure I know
the answer anymore.
354
00:23:15,724 --> 00:23:19,627
My dear, I don't know who
you are or what you are...
355
00:23:20,295 --> 00:23:23,823
but, uh, anyone who saves
my life the way you did...
356
00:23:23,999 --> 00:23:26,559
Whatever happens, I want
you to know that I'm on your side.
357
00:23:29,204 --> 00:23:30,900
But I thought you always were.
358
00:23:43,251 --> 00:23:46,244
She'll be regaining
consciousness any moment, I think.
359
00:23:46,421 --> 00:23:49,289
- The anesthetic is wearing off nicely.
- Good.
360
00:24:17,919 --> 00:24:19,581
Someone's upstairs.
361
00:24:28,196 --> 00:24:31,530
It's that man who was here this
afternoon when the power blew out.
362
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:33,259
Is it, now?
363
00:24:34,502 --> 00:24:36,334
How very interesting.
364
00:24:36,504 --> 00:24:39,497
Etienne. But be gentle.
365
00:24:40,075 --> 00:24:42,408
We may have some use for him.
366
00:25:44,639 --> 00:25:47,040
U.N.C.L.E.'s adventures
in Wonderland.
367
00:25:48,843 --> 00:25:52,075
Except in this version, young
man, you are the White Rabbit.
368
00:25:52,547 --> 00:25:55,517
Or should I say, "You're
our new guinea pig"?
369
00:25:56,117 --> 00:25:58,712
"O frabjous day!
Callooh! Callay!"
370
00:26:00,588 --> 00:26:02,784
Just when things
were getting dull too.
371
00:26:37,225 --> 00:26:38,225
Delaware's okay...
372
00:26:38,393 --> 00:26:40,862
but I'm having a little trouble
with the Oregon delegation.
373
00:26:41,029 --> 00:26:43,829
- What's the matter with them?
- That's the problem. I can't find them.
374
00:26:43,898 --> 00:26:45,662
They're all out having
dinner in Chinatown.
375
00:26:45,834 --> 00:26:47,393
Have some of the
boys round them up.
376
00:26:47,569 --> 00:26:50,004
Enough people hanging
around here with nothing to do.
377
00:26:50,171 --> 00:26:51,230
Mr. Fairbanks...
378
00:26:51,406 --> 00:26:54,103
do your know how many
restaurants there are in Chinatown?
379
00:26:54,275 --> 00:26:56,744
Have one of the boys
count them as they go.
380
00:26:57,212 --> 00:27:00,944
The information will come in
handy during a primary someday.
381
00:27:24,372 --> 00:27:26,102
You're very silent.
382
00:27:26,274 --> 00:27:27,674
Hmm?
383
00:27:28,877 --> 00:27:32,541
You look like the little girl who's just
about to have her knuckles rapped...
384
00:27:32,714 --> 00:27:35,149
by the headmistress of...
385
00:27:35,850 --> 00:27:38,285
What was that
academy you went to?
386
00:27:38,453 --> 00:27:40,752
- Marbury.
- Mm-hm.
387
00:27:40,922 --> 00:27:44,415
Mr. Solo, must you
always ask questions?
388
00:27:44,592 --> 00:27:47,926
Well, it's a
professional liability.
389
00:27:48,096 --> 00:27:49,860
You'll get used to it.
390
00:27:50,031 --> 00:27:52,432
That's what I'm afraid of.
391
00:27:54,035 --> 00:27:55,333
What's the matter?
392
00:27:55,703 --> 00:28:00,164
You, and everything
that's happened.
393
00:28:01,509 --> 00:28:03,171
I don't know why.
394
00:28:03,344 --> 00:28:07,543
Saving a gentleman's life is generally
considered a meritorious action.
395
00:28:07,715 --> 00:28:12,346
If word leaks out, you may become
Brownie to an Eagle Scout overnight.
396
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,252
But word mustn't leak out about
anything that's happened today.
397
00:28:16,424 --> 00:28:20,691
I love my husband, I
do. Very, very much.
398
00:28:21,796 --> 00:28:26,427
That's why I can't understand
why when I'm with you, it makes...
399
00:28:29,737 --> 00:28:32,673
I'm really very confused.
400
00:28:33,274 --> 00:28:36,267
Not half as confused as I am.
401
00:28:47,922 --> 00:28:49,550
Mrs. Bryant, what
a pleasant surprise.
402
00:28:49,724 --> 00:28:51,924
Get Mrs. Bryant a cup of
coffee and a place to sit down.
403
00:28:52,093 --> 00:28:53,733
- I've gotta see Fairbanks.
- He's inside.
404
00:28:53,828 --> 00:28:55,922
- Thank you.
- Be my pleasure, Mrs. Bryant.
405
00:28:56,097 --> 00:28:57,190
Right over here.
406
00:28:57,365 --> 00:28:59,630
Plenty more room
on the bandwagon.
407
00:28:59,801 --> 00:29:01,269
Right.
408
00:29:03,705 --> 00:29:06,504
What are you doing back
here? Something happened?
409
00:29:06,674 --> 00:29:09,576
Something's happened. Among other
things, I got a call from the senator.
410
00:29:09,744 --> 00:29:10,768
- Bryant?
- Yes, Bryant.
411
00:29:10,945 --> 00:29:12,971
He's been trying to
reach you all over town.
412
00:29:13,147 --> 00:29:15,027
He wants you to meet
him at the airport tonight.
413
00:29:15,183 --> 00:29:18,881
- Tonight? Ha, ha. You mean tomorrow.
- No, he's flying back tonight.
414
00:29:19,220 --> 00:29:21,018
No, he can't.
415
00:29:21,456 --> 00:29:25,655
He can't come back tonight.
He can't do this to me.
416
00:29:26,260 --> 00:29:28,593
If he were to come
back here now...
417
00:29:31,466 --> 00:29:34,265
Gloria, get me Senator Bryant.
418
00:29:34,636 --> 00:29:36,662
I know he's in Washington.
419
00:29:38,006 --> 00:29:40,441
You've a fascinating
head, Mr. Kuryakin.
420
00:29:40,608 --> 00:29:41,837
Truly fascinating.
421
00:29:42,010 --> 00:29:45,037
But so much more fascinating
when I've finished with it.
422
00:29:45,213 --> 00:29:46,704
You wait.
423
00:29:46,881 --> 00:29:48,561
You don't have to
convince me of your work.
424
00:29:48,716 --> 00:29:51,379
That second Mrs. Bryant
is a remarkable job.
425
00:29:51,552 --> 00:29:54,078
She manages to play the senator's
wife even when she's loaded...
426
00:29:54,255 --> 00:29:56,383
with our most
effective truth pills.
427
00:29:56,557 --> 00:29:58,082
Ah, that's the
beauty of my method.
428
00:29:58,259 --> 00:30:02,128
She's not playing a part. She
really believes she is Miranda Bryant.
429
00:30:02,296 --> 00:30:06,631
Oh, won't two Miranda Bryants
be crowding the senator a bit?
430
00:30:06,801 --> 00:30:08,565
Oh, no. No, not at all.
431
00:30:08,736 --> 00:30:12,173
A simple injection of
this, uh, triexel phermate...
432
00:30:12,340 --> 00:30:14,420
and the young girl reverts
to her own personality.
433
00:30:14,575 --> 00:30:18,239
It's all very simple, really.
434
00:30:18,646 --> 00:30:20,046
Very clever too.
435
00:30:20,214 --> 00:30:22,414
Programming the future
president of the United States...
436
00:30:22,583 --> 00:30:24,108
might be a little awkward.
437
00:30:24,285 --> 00:30:27,619
But who'd ever suspect
that it's all done with, uh...
438
00:30:28,356 --> 00:30:29,449
pillow talk.
439
00:30:32,193 --> 00:30:35,220
You're a very
perceptive young man.
440
00:30:36,531 --> 00:30:38,691
He knows if he so much as
shows his face around here...
441
00:30:38,833 --> 00:30:42,292
before we have the delegates in
our pockets, we could lose everything.
442
00:30:42,837 --> 00:30:44,465
Oh, no.
443
00:30:44,639 --> 00:30:48,007
No, I've worked too hard and too
long to get that boy into this position.
444
00:30:48,176 --> 00:30:49,701
What?
445
00:30:50,845 --> 00:30:52,746
Yes, I see.
446
00:31:02,123 --> 00:31:04,285
Well, he's left, all right.
447
00:31:06,828 --> 00:31:09,263
Almost in the White House...
448
00:31:11,299 --> 00:31:12,961
and now he's, um...
449
00:31:13,134 --> 00:31:16,332
He's imperiling everything
we've worked for...
450
00:31:16,504 --> 00:31:22,273
slaved for, lived for for 10
years, and all because of her.
451
00:31:22,443 --> 00:31:25,072
Well, you can't blame a man
for worrying about his wife.
452
00:31:25,246 --> 00:31:26,771
That marriage.
453
00:31:28,316 --> 00:31:32,219
Here was a man who could have
married any woman in the country.
454
00:31:32,386 --> 00:31:37,051
And he picks some little ninny that
he meets by chance at my house.
455
00:31:37,225 --> 00:31:39,194
In my own house.
456
00:31:40,128 --> 00:31:42,927
Sorting campaign literature.
457
00:31:43,097 --> 00:31:46,590
Running the coffee
machine for the volunteers.
458
00:31:47,702 --> 00:31:50,604
Where's the girl? What
have you done with her?
459
00:31:50,772 --> 00:31:53,092
You were told not to take
your eyes off her for an instant.
460
00:31:53,241 --> 00:31:55,210
I haven't. She's outside
with your number-one boy.
461
00:31:55,376 --> 00:31:58,403
He'll take care of her.
That's why I'm here.
462
00:31:58,679 --> 00:32:04,050
I have run into some, uh, let's say,
contradictions about Mrs. Bryant.
463
00:32:04,218 --> 00:32:06,414
- Contradictions?
- Mm-hm.
464
00:32:07,655 --> 00:32:10,181
What do you mean,
"contradictions"?
465
00:32:11,058 --> 00:32:13,186
You're not trying to tell
me that after all this...
466
00:32:13,361 --> 00:32:16,058
you boys are starting to
reverse yourselves, are you?
467
00:32:16,230 --> 00:32:19,496
Uh, don't anticipate things,
Fairbanks. It's not that simple.
468
00:32:19,667 --> 00:32:22,432
If you've put us through
all this for nothing...
469
00:32:22,603 --> 00:32:26,199
called back the senator,
maybe cost us the election...
470
00:32:26,374 --> 00:32:29,708
and all the time, this is
the real Miranda Bryant.
471
00:32:29,877 --> 00:32:31,757
I didn't say that. There
are just some things...
472
00:32:31,913 --> 00:32:34,382
that I don't understand.
They don't add up, not clear.
473
00:32:34,549 --> 00:32:36,389
I wanna put her to a
test. You gave me an idea.
474
00:32:36,551 --> 00:32:38,577
- Give me the keys to your house.
- My house?
475
00:32:38,753 --> 00:32:41,416
Yes, you said she met the senator
working there on some campaign?
476
00:32:41,589 --> 00:32:44,549
If she's the real Mrs. Bryant, she'll
know her way around the place, right?
477
00:32:44,692 --> 00:32:45,692
I suppose so.
478
00:32:45,860 --> 00:32:48,455
If she's not the real
Mrs. Bryant, she won't.
479
00:32:48,629 --> 00:32:50,429
Because though they may
have programmed her...
480
00:32:50,598 --> 00:32:53,158
in regard to dates and places,
she won't know, for instance...
481
00:32:53,301 --> 00:32:57,363
where the, uh, secretary
keeps the instant coffee.
482
00:33:00,675 --> 00:33:03,338
I think you're wasting a
lot of precious time, Solo.
483
00:33:03,511 --> 00:33:05,275
But if you insist...
484
00:33:05,446 --> 00:33:06,971
I do.
485
00:33:12,453 --> 00:33:13,944
Yes?
486
00:33:14,622 --> 00:33:17,182
I told you I must have 48 hours.
487
00:33:17,358 --> 00:33:19,691
But you can't move her
now, that's impossible.
488
00:33:19,861 --> 00:33:21,830
I don't know what
she'll do or say.
489
00:33:22,763 --> 00:33:24,459
But I won't...
490
00:33:27,101 --> 00:33:29,764
Yes. Yes, I understand.
491
00:33:29,937 --> 00:33:32,668
All right, all right.
492
00:33:33,007 --> 00:33:34,873
Signe, Etienne, remove
him from the table.
493
00:33:35,042 --> 00:33:37,739
We've got to get the
woman ready in an hour.
494
00:33:57,999 --> 00:34:01,561
What on earth are we doing
here? Arnold's at the convention.
495
00:34:01,869 --> 00:34:03,098
So you know the place?
496
00:34:03,271 --> 00:34:07,333
Yes, I worked here as a
volunteer. That's how I met Steve.
497
00:34:07,508 --> 00:34:09,272
Yes, Fairbanks told me.
498
00:34:09,443 --> 00:34:13,505
Well, since you know the
place, you lead the way, all right?
499
00:34:15,650 --> 00:34:17,744
Fairbanks gave me the key.
500
00:34:43,244 --> 00:34:45,713
Bring back sentimental memories?
501
00:34:50,685 --> 00:34:53,382
Napoleon, please
don't be unkind to me.
502
00:35:03,631 --> 00:35:05,964
Atavistic old place.
503
00:35:06,968 --> 00:35:12,430
I suppose it's a throwback to the days
of ward heelers and brass spittoons.
504
00:35:20,014 --> 00:35:21,812
Why'd you bring me here?
505
00:35:23,484 --> 00:35:25,544
Excellent question.
506
00:35:26,387 --> 00:35:29,152
Why, indeed?
507
00:35:29,690 --> 00:35:33,092
An impulse? An inspiration?
508
00:35:33,561 --> 00:35:35,496
A suspicion?
509
00:35:36,864 --> 00:35:38,833
Prescience?
510
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:43,062
Or just, perhaps, to
be alone with you?
511
00:35:44,972 --> 00:35:48,500
We haven't got much
longer to be alone, have we?
512
00:35:48,676 --> 00:35:50,167
No.
513
00:35:51,178 --> 00:35:53,238
Why am I here?
514
00:35:55,016 --> 00:35:57,417
Because something is happening.
515
00:35:59,053 --> 00:36:01,522
You're as aware of it as I am.
516
00:36:02,556 --> 00:36:04,081
Hmm?
517
00:36:08,095 --> 00:36:10,655
And something else
is happening too.
518
00:36:11,065 --> 00:36:17,198
Kidnap threats, strange disappearances,
even stranger appearances.
519
00:36:17,371 --> 00:36:19,211
After today, you should
be aware of the fact...
520
00:36:19,373 --> 00:36:21,253
that you're involved
in some diabolical plot.
521
00:36:21,409 --> 00:36:26,177
Either someone is trying, among
other things, to ruin your marriage.
522
00:36:26,347 --> 00:36:29,044
- Or...
- Who would do a thing like that?
523
00:36:30,418 --> 00:36:32,182
Many people.
524
00:36:32,353 --> 00:36:35,721
Political enemies, for instance.
525
00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:38,086
Political friends.
526
00:36:38,759 --> 00:36:40,523
Arnold Fairbanks, for instance.
527
00:36:40,694 --> 00:36:42,026
Arnold?
528
00:36:42,196 --> 00:36:44,791
Arnold's our best friend.
529
00:36:45,099 --> 00:36:47,625
He's your husband's best friend.
530
00:36:48,869 --> 00:36:50,963
There's a difference.
531
00:36:54,341 --> 00:36:56,606
And he's let it be known
he wasn't exactly thrilled...
532
00:36:56,777 --> 00:36:58,871
about your marriage, you know.
533
00:37:00,247 --> 00:37:02,113
I don't believe that.
534
00:37:02,283 --> 00:37:05,378
Fairbanks is ambitious
for your husband...
535
00:37:05,553 --> 00:37:09,718
like Caesar and Caesar's wife.
536
00:37:09,890 --> 00:37:14,089
The question is, this time,
who is above suspicion?
537
00:37:16,263 --> 00:37:19,427
Where does Fairbanks
keep his confidential files?
538
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,159
Well, how should I know?
539
00:37:21,335 --> 00:37:25,670
You labored here in the senator's
vineyards and won all hearts.
540
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,240
We're all volunteer workers.
541
00:37:27,408 --> 00:37:29,900
We didn't have access
to anything confidential.
542
00:37:30,077 --> 00:37:33,241
You still must have some
idea where things were located.
543
00:37:33,414 --> 00:37:36,976
Even Bluebeard told
his wives where not to go.
544
00:37:38,252 --> 00:37:41,518
Mr. Solo, yours
is a strange world.
545
00:37:41,689 --> 00:37:45,558
Living with all this deceit and
violence has done something to you.
546
00:37:46,527 --> 00:37:49,588
You're right. It's taught
me to trust no one.
547
00:37:51,699 --> 00:37:53,930
Not even myself.
548
00:37:55,436 --> 00:37:57,962
Especially with you.
549
00:38:05,279 --> 00:38:07,510
What do you know
about this place?
550
00:38:08,048 --> 00:38:09,277
Try to remember something.
551
00:38:09,450 --> 00:38:11,385
I remember nothing.
552
00:38:11,552 --> 00:38:15,011
I mean, whatever I knew about
this place, I have long since forgotten.
553
00:38:15,189 --> 00:38:17,420
Don't give up so
easily. Try, think hard.
554
00:38:17,591 --> 00:38:19,753
No, please, just
take me out of here.
555
00:38:20,161 --> 00:38:21,322
I don't like any of this.
556
00:38:21,495 --> 00:38:24,761
I don't like that drug you gave
me. Nothing's clear anymore.
557
00:38:24,932 --> 00:38:28,699
I don't know what it's
made me say or do or feel.
558
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:32,101
Nothing about the office?
Nothing about the files?
559
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,632
No, nothing.
560
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,543
I'm sorry.
561
00:38:42,983 --> 00:38:45,782
I had to do it. I
had to make sure.
562
00:38:47,821 --> 00:38:49,551
For both of us.
563
00:38:55,863 --> 00:38:57,263
You're not her.
564
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,128
- Who are you?
- Napoleon.
565
00:39:30,598 --> 00:39:31,964
Are you all right?
566
00:39:32,132 --> 00:39:33,532
Hair dye?
567
00:39:33,701 --> 00:39:36,694
Does Arnold dye his hair too?
568
00:39:56,190 --> 00:39:57,590
They got away.
569
00:39:57,758 --> 00:39:59,886
I was afraid something
like this might happen.
570
00:40:00,060 --> 00:40:01,060
Mm-hm.
571
00:40:01,228 --> 00:40:03,459
Uh, here's something
of yours, Fairbanks.
572
00:40:05,132 --> 00:40:07,692
All right, drop the gun. How
convenient of you and Mrs. Bryant...
573
00:40:07,835 --> 00:40:10,896
to patronize the
same beauty salon.
574
00:40:11,071 --> 00:40:14,633
Sometimes the long arm of
serendipity outsmarts us all.
575
00:40:15,442 --> 00:40:18,742
Too bad, it was a great try.
576
00:40:18,912 --> 00:40:21,643
I wouldn't, Mr. Solo.
577
00:40:23,817 --> 00:40:28,152
If there's one thing I've learned in
politics, it's never count your ballots...
578
00:40:28,322 --> 00:40:30,416
before the returns are in.
579
00:41:03,957 --> 00:41:05,585
Well, where is she?
580
00:41:05,759 --> 00:41:07,239
What are you doing to me?
581
00:41:07,394 --> 00:41:08,794
We're doing all we can.
582
00:41:08,962 --> 00:41:11,454
She's not completely
out of it yet.
583
00:41:12,032 --> 00:41:14,797
I don't care what
kind of shape she's in.
584
00:41:14,968 --> 00:41:17,961
Just get her over
here right now.
585
00:41:23,544 --> 00:41:27,072
What's the matter,
doctor? You look worried.
586
00:41:27,247 --> 00:41:28,943
That's how it is.
587
00:41:29,116 --> 00:41:32,712
The ignorant Philistine always
gets in the way of the true artist.
588
00:41:33,587 --> 00:41:35,351
Arnold?
589
00:41:37,391 --> 00:41:39,826
Where is she?
Why isn't she here?
590
00:41:39,993 --> 00:41:42,189
Steve, she's on her
way here right now, relax.
591
00:41:42,363 --> 00:41:45,731
Arnold, if you don't bring her
here, so help me, I'll kill you.
592
00:41:45,899 --> 00:41:46,899
Now take it easy.
593
00:41:47,067 --> 00:41:49,400
I've never let you down before
not gonna let you down now.
594
00:41:49,570 --> 00:41:53,974
Believe me, she's as anxious
to see you as you are to see her.
595
00:41:57,411 --> 00:42:01,610
Tell me, how is
he? The president?
596
00:42:01,782 --> 00:42:03,114
Worried, and so am I.
597
00:42:03,283 --> 00:42:05,548
You said she'd be here,
Arnold, and she isn't here.
598
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,813
She'll be here
before you know it.
599
00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:11,755
Now the only thing you've got to worry
about is your acceptance speech, right?
600
00:42:11,925 --> 00:42:13,525
Well, I got two days
to worry about that.
601
00:42:14,762 --> 00:42:19,462
As a matter of fact, Steve, you've
kind of forced my hand on that.
602
00:42:19,633 --> 00:42:22,694
- Hmm?
- It's tonight or never.
603
00:42:22,870 --> 00:42:24,634
Now, you gotta get
your thinking cap on.
604
00:42:24,805 --> 00:42:27,673
You know what this thing is
crying for? The old Bryant touch.
605
00:42:27,841 --> 00:42:31,175
Now that's something nobody's
got but you, right, Steve?
606
00:42:31,979 --> 00:42:34,778
Now stop that, and don't
give me any more trouble.
607
00:42:34,948 --> 00:42:37,349
Let me go. - Stop it.
608
00:42:37,518 --> 00:42:39,419
Let me go. Aah!
609
00:42:40,754 --> 00:42:42,620
Come along, Mrs. Bryant, sit up.
610
00:42:42,790 --> 00:42:45,851
- Wake up.
- Doctor, I can't handle this woman.
611
00:42:46,026 --> 00:42:49,019
Couldn't I get rid of
her? Get rid of them all?
612
00:42:49,196 --> 00:42:50,789
Later. I'll stay behind...
613
00:42:50,964 --> 00:42:53,524
and see that they're disposed
of along with the building.
614
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:54,963
But I need them alive for that.
615
00:42:55,135 --> 00:42:57,400
Hurry up with that dress
and get her over to Fairbanks.
616
00:42:57,905 --> 00:43:01,273
Doctor, merely as a
point of information, uh...
617
00:43:01,442 --> 00:43:04,606
how do you intend to dispose of us
when the happy hour approaches?
618
00:43:04,778 --> 00:43:06,269
It was your friend's idea.
619
00:43:07,314 --> 00:43:08,680
Mine? CAXTON: Yes.
620
00:43:08,849 --> 00:43:12,081
This morning, when you invaded
us disguised as an electrician...
621
00:43:12,252 --> 00:43:15,654
you stated that the entire place
was riddled with defective wiring.
622
00:43:15,823 --> 00:43:17,314
We might all be electrocuted.
623
00:43:17,491 --> 00:43:19,551
Well, you will be.
624
00:43:21,428 --> 00:43:23,795
You could've come
in as a plumber.
625
00:43:29,937 --> 00:43:32,065
Who is that woman? Why'd
you give her my dress?
626
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:33,901
Shut her up and
bring them upstairs.
627
00:43:34,074 --> 00:43:36,737
- Do you have to kill her too?
- Unfortunately, yes.
628
00:43:36,910 --> 00:43:41,245
You see, Etienne, Miss Signe, myself
must all seem to perish in the cataclysm...
629
00:43:41,415 --> 00:43:43,509
about to engulf
our little edifice.
630
00:43:43,684 --> 00:43:47,143
And for that, I need three
bodies: two males, one female.
631
00:43:47,621 --> 00:43:49,920
And the young woman
already here to oblige us.
632
00:43:50,557 --> 00:43:53,152
Believe me, it's purely
a matter of necessity...
633
00:43:53,327 --> 00:43:55,023
not of any lust for blood.
634
00:43:57,598 --> 00:43:59,123
Yes?
635
00:43:59,299 --> 00:44:01,165
Yes, Arnold,
everything's in order.
636
00:44:01,702 --> 00:44:04,137
Mrs. Bryant is
leaving right now.
637
00:44:04,304 --> 00:44:06,899
Splendid. I'll see
you next week.
638
00:44:11,712 --> 00:44:13,510
Bring them along.
639
00:44:14,581 --> 00:44:16,675
Ladies first.
640
00:44:26,059 --> 00:44:28,551
She's a judo expert.
641
00:44:30,998 --> 00:44:33,399
At least a black belt...
642
00:44:38,572 --> 00:44:39,631
with clusters.
643
00:44:54,521 --> 00:44:57,081
Come on, all you've gotta do is
go out there and it's in the bag.
644
00:44:57,224 --> 00:45:00,160
I told you, Arnold, I'm not going
out there without seeing my wife.
645
00:45:00,327 --> 00:45:01,420
There she is.
646
00:45:05,165 --> 00:45:07,191
Are you satisfied now?
647
00:45:09,236 --> 00:45:10,568
Take him up.
648
00:45:28,322 --> 00:45:29,322
Thank you.
649
00:45:37,664 --> 00:45:41,192
Miranda, listen to me carefully.
650
00:45:41,368 --> 00:45:43,530
Do you hear those cheers?
651
00:45:51,078 --> 00:45:56,608
They're for the future president
of the United States, your husband.
652
00:45:56,950 --> 00:46:00,978
I want you to go out there
and give him a big kiss.
653
00:46:01,154 --> 00:46:04,181
Remember, this is
his moment of triumph.
654
00:46:04,358 --> 00:46:08,227
Wave, smile to the
crowd. Do you understand?
655
00:46:09,463 --> 00:46:11,989
- Don't worry, Arnold, I know what to do.
- That's the girl.
656
00:46:12,165 --> 00:46:13,929
Don't enjoy it too
much, Fairbanks.
657
00:46:15,402 --> 00:46:17,462
Do you see those men?
658
00:46:17,838 --> 00:46:19,170
They want to kill your husband.
659
00:46:21,475 --> 00:46:22,773
- Shoot them.
- Hmm?
660
00:46:22,943 --> 00:46:23,943
Shoot them!
661
00:46:31,051 --> 00:46:33,452
They're waiting for
you, Mrs. Bryant.
662
00:46:40,460 --> 00:46:41,826
Thank you.
663
00:46:53,473 --> 00:46:55,066
Miranda was...
664
00:46:55,242 --> 00:46:57,507
Was programmed to...
665
00:46:57,678 --> 00:47:01,342
To obey all my commands.
666
00:47:01,515 --> 00:47:03,347
"Was," Arnold.
667
00:47:03,850 --> 00:47:06,376
We deprogrammed her.
668
00:47:06,687 --> 00:47:09,156
Triexel phermate.
669
00:47:11,158 --> 00:47:13,127
Miranda, is it really you?
670
00:47:19,099 --> 00:47:20,931
It is you.
671
00:47:51,965 --> 00:47:54,764
So you cats finally made it.
672
00:47:55,702 --> 00:47:56,702
Ah. Huh.
673
00:47:59,473 --> 00:48:00,998
Like, I'm grateful.
674
00:48:01,174 --> 00:48:05,441
I mean, all those years teaching
judo to those chicks in the Big Sur.
675
00:48:05,612 --> 00:48:07,308
I finally made the big scene.
676
00:48:07,481 --> 00:48:08,676
I owe it all to you.
677
00:48:09,649 --> 00:48:11,675
Uh, us? IRINA: Yeah.
678
00:48:11,852 --> 00:48:13,411
I thought we were in your debt?
679
00:48:13,587 --> 00:48:14,947
Oh, no, man, you
don't understand.
680
00:48:15,088 --> 00:48:17,421
It's because of you that
I got the bread for this.
681
00:48:17,591 --> 00:48:21,255
Your report of the young lady's
help the other night so intrigued me...
682
00:48:21,862 --> 00:48:24,388
I felt we owed her
a reciprocal favor.
683
00:48:25,732 --> 00:48:29,396
This cool cat sort of bought a
couple of lifetime memberships...
684
00:48:29,569 --> 00:48:31,936
and with the bread,
I built me this castle.
685
00:48:32,606 --> 00:48:36,168
Well, it's a most
impressive, uh, bakery.
686
00:48:36,343 --> 00:48:38,209
Lifetime memberships
for you, sir?
687
00:48:38,378 --> 00:48:39,846
Oh, goodness no. No, no.
688
00:48:40,013 --> 00:48:41,276
For you two, naturally.
689
00:48:42,449 --> 00:48:44,315
Oh, well, thank you, uh...
690
00:48:44,484 --> 00:48:46,350
Not at all, not at all.
691
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,614
My pleasure, gentlemen.
53464
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