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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720 Party! 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,560 [music fades out] 23 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,640 ["Shut Up" by Black Eyed Peas playing] 24 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,640 [Jamie] The two things my mum never allowed us to do when we were nippers. 25 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,920 Potholing, because she's claustrophobic, 26 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,000 and riding a motorbike, cos her cousin Shirley came off hers 27 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,160 on the A-34 when she was 16. 28 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,360 [Karen] Jamie! 29 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:54,160 [Jamie] Broke her back in three places. My old mate Kenny Morris had a Suzuki. 30 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,960 [yells] Jamie! 31 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,920 [Jamie] He used to try and make me ride on the back, so he could spin me round 32 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,240 at 90 miles an hour and laugh at me bricking it. 33 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:06,080 When I kept refusing, we ended up falling out and he gave me a black eye. 34 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,919 When I lied to my mum about why he'd twatted me, 35 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,560 my dad called me a wimp for not giving him one back. 36 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,120 Early lesson in being a Maguire. 37 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,400 Sometimes, you just can't win. 38 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,440 Where've you been? 39 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,040 All this space. We're not capitalising. 40 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,840 We are not making the best of what we've got here. 41 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,440 Hip And Thigh. Atkins. F-Plan. 42 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,200 They made millions. Millions. We should do summat here. 43 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,320 -Here? -Classes. We'd make a fortune. 44 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,560 Better than spending 50 quid a month in some sweaty gym 45 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,920 and I will guarantee they'll love it. 46 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,360 What do you think? 47 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,160 You need your head testing. 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,800 [ominous tone] 49 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,160 See, that's why I love you, Jamie. 50 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,160 [Karen] Your infectious enthusiasm and zest for life! 51 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,720 Please, Paddy. 52 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,240 Please. 53 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,560 Just a bit more time. 54 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,480 -[Chesney] Leave her alone. -Stay out of this. 55 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,760 [Yvonne] Chesney, no! 56 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,360 [door opens] 57 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,480 What's going on? 58 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,160 None of your business. 59 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,080 Ches, please. 60 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,880 Thursday. Every penny, understood? 61 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,480 Understood? 62 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,440 Ever need a job, Chesney, give us a call. 63 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,000 [orchestra plays jaunty music] 64 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,400 [coin drops] 65 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,079 -Ah, sorry! -Sorry! 66 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,440 [girl] Holly... Holly! 67 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,400 Aren't babies supposed to ruin your figure? 68 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,480 Oh, you can bang on about overactive thyroid, 69 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,640 big fucking bones till you're blue in the face. 70 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,160 Sit on your arse all day, eat too many cakes, 71 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,840 you are going to get fat. Simple. 72 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,320 Are you all right? 73 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,800 I'll take that as a no, then? 74 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,240 You've forgotten, haven't ya? 75 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,520 What? 76 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,320 What's the big deal? 77 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:10,800 Mum and Dad? 78 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,080 We arranged to go round. 79 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,240 -We can still go now, can't we? -In that state? 80 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,360 You're shitfaced. 81 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,280 Since when did you become my wife? 82 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,240 Can I borrow some gel? 83 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,040 Yeah. 84 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,240 I'm sorry. 85 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,320 Will you ever forgive me? 86 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,440 -[Carl] Hmm? -Will I do? 87 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,120 Look, come on, babes. 88 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,520 Leave it, Carl. 89 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,400 What women say and what women mean 90 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,480 are usually two completely different things, Carl. 91 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,080 Thought you'd know that by now. 92 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,880 I said no! 93 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,640 You've got to learn to attend to her needs, Carl. 94 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,680 Even an 11-year-old can work that one out. 95 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,280 Fancy a pint? 96 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,760 Bit early, innit? 97 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,920 Go on then, son. 98 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:06,880 Fuck off. 99 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,440 [burps] Slippery slope. 100 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,040 [dramatic music] 101 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,000 [Ian] Can't you just rearrange? 102 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,240 Tell 'em he's not well. 103 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,360 They're not gonna be that angry, are they? 104 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,080 [Maxine sobs] 105 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,400 Come here. 106 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,080 [sobs] 107 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:54,080 All right, Samson, are you gonna fucking get it or what? 108 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,920 -Oh, yeah! -[creaking] 109 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,000 [pants and huffs] 110 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,960 [grunting] 111 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:22,960 [glass breaking] 112 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,280 -[Stan grunts] -[loud thump] 113 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,320 Where's Connor? 114 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,120 [Jamie] Karen! 115 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,040 [Jamie] Connor? 116 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,560 You said Mum had him. 117 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,000 You said you were taking him out. 118 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,520 No, I didn't! 119 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,960 [Connor crying] 120 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,120 She did. 121 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,480 [sighing with relief] Oh, fuck... Hey. 122 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,800 What's going on? 123 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,520 -Nothing. -You didn't know where he was! 124 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,040 [Paddy] He's fine. That's all that matters. 125 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,840 [Mimi] Come on, sunshine. 126 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,600 He's my sunshine. 127 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:26,680 You don't trust me? 128 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,960 [Paddy] Come on. Leave them in peace. 129 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,039 You don't, do ya? 130 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,200 [Connor grumbles] 131 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,080 [Yvonne] Stan? 132 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,280 [Yvonne gasps] 133 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,160 It's all right. 134 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,320 No, it isn't! 135 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,160 Why do you have to pick on him? 136 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,920 -What? -It's got nothing to do with him! 137 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,560 -Nothing to do with what? -Don't give me that crap! 138 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,320 -I borrowed the money, not him! -Cool it, Yvonne. 139 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,240 So, if you're going to smash anybody's face in it should be mine, shouldn't it? 140 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,120 -I don't know what you're on about. -Stan. He's battered. 141 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,680 That's got nothing to do with me. 142 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,760 I just need a bit more time. 143 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,120 48 hours. That's plenty. 144 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:01,880 Plumber? 145 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,160 [suggestive music] 146 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,280 Leak? 147 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:14,160 Plumber, leak! Yeah, right! [laughs] 148 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,440 [man on TV] Which I inherited some years ago and when I saw this... 149 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,560 -[Karen] Woo! Come on, girls... -[loud music plays] 150 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,600 ["Kids In America" by Kim Wilde playing outside] 151 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,120 My fitness empire starts here! 152 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,920 You can spin yourself thin with Karen Maguire! 153 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,800 Whoo! 154 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,840 Come on, girls! 155 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,160 [Stella crying] 156 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,960 [Carl giggles] 157 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,600 What time you on till? 158 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,920 [door slams] 159 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,320 Things no better, then? 160 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,800 She keeps cutting me out, just blanking me. 161 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,440 It's a lot to take on board, mate. 162 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,080 What? A few pints and I missed a dinner with the in-laws? 163 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,840 Big fucking deal! 164 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,000 [suspicious music] 165 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,520 -[door opens] -[male voices clamour] 166 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,400 Do you have any money for charity? 167 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,480 [coins clattering] 168 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,320 -Hi! -Hi. 169 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,960 Wanna get the tram into town? Get a burger or something? 170 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,320 -Can't. -Why not? 171 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,440 -I'm not allowed. -Veggie? 172 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,040 Knife crime. Dad thinks I'll end up getting stabbed. 173 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,960 You'll be all right with me. 174 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,040 Look after me, would you? Protect me? 175 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,680 Do me best. 176 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,400 Fancy coming to mine for tea? 177 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,480 It's just tea, Liam, not a marriage proposal. 178 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,400 -[Joe] Bad move. -[bottle hits the floor] 179 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,840 -Borrowing off a Maguire? -I had no choice. 180 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,280 Only way I could pay to get this lot fixed after t'fire. 181 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,600 Bank won't touch me. 182 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,640 I can help. 183 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,720 -This is it. -Wow! 184 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,200 Do you mind if I kiss you before we go in? 185 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,200 Yeah. I mean... 186 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,640 -What about your dad? -I'd sooner kiss you. 187 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,160 [romantic music] 188 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,520 [cutlery clinks] 189 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,000 So, what does your mother do, Liam? 190 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,360 She's a nurse. 191 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,440 -And what about your father? -He passed away. 192 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,280 Ah. Sorry, son. 193 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,800 It's not your fault. It was a long time ago. 194 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,120 Do you remember him? 195 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,200 He was a doctor. 196 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,920 Family of medics, eh? 197 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,200 He was a heart specialist. 198 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,160 Consulted in unexplained coronaries in young adults. 199 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,080 Really? 200 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,200 Pioneered three drugs trials at the MRI. 201 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,000 He was up for two clinical excellence awards. 202 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,200 Fantastic. 203 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,800 When they gave him a three-page spread in The Lancet, 204 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,800 we realised he was something special. 205 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,720 He was up for an MBE, but he was against the monarchy. 206 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,200 Said they were all a bunch of overpaid, over-privileged idiots. 207 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,800 That's the only thing we disagreed on. 208 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,640 Personally, I'm all for the Royal Family. A ray of light in such dark times. 209 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,680 Where they lead, we follow. Don't you think? 210 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,120 Is it okay if me and Liam go upstairs for a bit? Listen to some music? 211 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,880 I think it's probably best I get Liam back home now, Holly. 212 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,480 It's fine, thanks, I'll walk. 213 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,160 Don't be silly, where do you live? 214 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,840 Thanks! 215 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,000 [rock music playing] 216 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,360 -You should go and see her. -What's she said? 217 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,240 It's about her mum and dad. 218 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,840 She can piss off. I've said sorry, I'm not grovelling. 219 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,560 Carl, I'm only trying to help ya. 220 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,520 You get yourself a proper bird for once, then you fuck it all up. 221 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,800 -Is that what you want? -Who said I fucked it up? 222 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,640 Just go and see her. Talk to her. If you don't, you'll end up losing her. 223 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,560 [sighs] 224 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,080 [Frank] Pint and two vowels, Karen. 225 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,120 Mimi... 226 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:01,480 Mimi? 227 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,760 Isn't that enough practice for one day? 228 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,640 [Mimi] You can make yourself useful if you like. Clear glasses! 229 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,160 This is useful! 230 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,280 Have you seen what it does to your triceps? 231 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,800 I don't want bingo wings at my age, do I? 232 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,000 [chuckles] 233 00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:21,079 [slurring] That's just the start, Karen. 234 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,599 It's not just physical. 235 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,520 [mouthing] 236 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:29,200 [Frank] One baby comes into the world and another brain departs. 237 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,120 Here we go. 238 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,360 As the foetus gestates, it sucks... [sucking] 239 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,200 ...every bit of goodness from its host. 240 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,800 -[beeping] -Protein and calcium... 241 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,480 -[sucking] -...vitamins and minerals 242 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,360 and ounce by ounce, as the baby grows, 243 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,920 its mother shrinks 244 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,240 in equal proportion. 245 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,480 Hello! 246 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,040 [laughs] 247 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,840 Cut the crap, Frank. 248 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,120 Sheila used to keep the bog roll in the fridge when she was up the duff. 249 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,800 [laughter] 250 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,240 [Karen] I like it when you talk about her. 251 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,440 Do you miss her? 252 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,000 [sighs] 253 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:16,920 I do. 254 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,000 When she left, 255 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,720 it took me a long, long time 256 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,440 to even begin to come to terms with it. 257 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:26,960 A good... 258 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,880 few days. 259 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,400 Maybe even a week. 260 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,840 Had this pain... 261 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,120 you see, in my chest. 262 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,160 And it made me realise, it made me understand, 263 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,280 what love is. 264 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,160 You know, what it must be, if it exists, 265 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,040 cos... when she was gone... 266 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,240 I made myself feel better trying to understand the madness. 267 00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,640 I missed it. 268 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,040 Even started washing me hands after taking a piss. 269 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,560 Was she hard to live with? 270 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,560 -Cope with? -Fucking nightmare. 271 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,200 But, no worse than the rest of us though, eh? 272 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,040 You are nothing like her, Karen. 273 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,080 Don't believe that bollocks about we all eventually 274 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,400 end up turning into our parents, 275 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,240 cos if it were true, 276 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,200 I'd be an uptight twat with a penchant for Shirley Bassey. 277 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,560 [mouthing] 278 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,200 Thanks. 279 00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,680 [Frank] S'all right. 280 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,040 [Liam] How do you know when things are moving too fast? 281 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:06,960 With a girl. 282 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,520 -[indistinct TV chatter] -Blimey. 283 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,440 If you love her? 284 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,600 -Do you love her? -I think so. 285 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,920 -Have you bought her a soft toy yet? -As if. 286 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,440 Oh, well, it's not quite love yet, then. 287 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,480 -She's nicked one of my pens. -[laughs] 288 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,040 Has she? That's serious. 289 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,880 So you reckon I should buy her a teddy? 290 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:30,800 [door closes] 291 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,520 Ian said I'd lose you. 292 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,960 [Maxine] You'd better go up, love. 293 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,600 [Maxine] What's he said? 294 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,120 I should've known myself. 295 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,960 Not have him tell me. 296 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,720 Told you what? 297 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,200 That if I carry on like this, I'll lose you. 298 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,200 There's no point going over it, is there? 299 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,880 You're right. Cut the crap, Carl. 300 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,320 Show her how you feel. Buy her a stuffed puppy or something. 301 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,640 You're the first girl I've ever said this to. 302 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,080 -Leave it, Carl. -I love you. 303 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,720 I want to be with you. I can't stop thinking about ya. 304 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,800 I never meant for it to go this far. 305 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,320 I'm sorry about your mum and dad. 306 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,840 [Maxine] You don't need to be. 307 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,920 I know how much they mean to you. I could've fucked that up. 308 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,320 I don't want to come between them and their little girl, do I? 309 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,680 Daddy's little princess. 310 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,520 I've had an abortion. 311 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,200 [haunting music] 312 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:18,640 [door opens] 313 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,040 Carl? 314 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,240 [door closes] 315 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,680 [Micky] How d'you know when you're in love? 316 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:31,800 You just do. 317 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,880 Have sweaty palms got anything to do with it? 318 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,560 -That is our plumber. -Him? 319 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,240 Hundred quid and he'll hold your hand in Pizza Express. 320 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,120 [Ian] Extortion. 321 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,880 I'm gonna bring him here. 322 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,360 Get a takeaway, give him something proper to hold on to. 323 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,840 Cheaper to fuck than to mend a pipe? 324 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,920 You would, though. Wouldn't ya? 325 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,280 [Karen laughs] 326 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,360 What the fuck are you up to? 327 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,600 [both laugh] 328 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,680 Rosemary Conley had it right. 329 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,280 You just lay off the cheese, moved around a bit, 330 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,040 got thinner legs! Hey presto! 331 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:20,520 She made millions. 332 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,280 Now, that's enterprise. Women come up to me, 333 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:27,640 they tell me I look amazing for a bird that's just dropped a kid. 334 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:28,760 Yeah, well you do. 335 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,120 I knew I was special. Like Madonna special. Or Kylie. 336 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,360 Come on. You're better than that. 337 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,120 This... is my... empire, Jamie! [giggles] 338 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,800 [Karen] Boing... 339 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,760 [both laugh and scream] 340 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,760 [Karen] Oh! [laughs] 341 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,840 -[door closes] -[dog barks] 342 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,480 What you rattling about at this hour for? 343 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,560 What's she been doing? 344 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,720 -[Mimi] It's not normal. -She's fine. 345 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,760 [Mimi] She isn't fine! Frank friggin' Gallagher's noticed. 346 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,160 People can see it, you know! Why can't you? 347 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,920 Get your father and the lads, we need to look for her. 348 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000 Leave it! 349 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,040 [Mimi] That's my grandson that's out there! 350 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:39,360 And she's my wife! Now just fuck off! 351 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,360 [dramatic music] 352 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,000 Karen! 353 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,760 -Everything okay? -I could do with a bit of a hand. 354 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,000 It's a bit early to be shopping, isn't it? 355 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,200 Once Connor's awake, I'm awake. 356 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,600 -Karen, where the fuck've you been? -[Paddy] All right, Jamie. 357 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,920 I've been shopping, I got you some custard tarts. 358 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,440 -You didn't bring your mobile. -Who am I going to call at this time? 359 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,160 -Fuck's sake, Karen. -You're overreacting. 360 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,280 [Jamie] You've been gone all night! 361 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:33,680 Get a grip. He's gonna have me microchipped next. 362 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,000 -Is he okay? -Why wouldn't he be okay? 363 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,560 [Jamie] Anything could've happened. 364 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,560 Have you seen the CCTV in there? 365 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,560 Do you know they've got a separate camera over disposable razors 366 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,320 because apparently they're the most nicked item from supermarkets. Did you know that? 367 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,760 You'd think it'd be perfume or cellulite cream, wouldn't ya? 368 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,440 Let's just go home. 369 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,880 Fine. 370 00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:59,760 [sighs] 371 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,600 [Carl] You all cheered up now, eh? 372 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,080 [Carl laughs] 373 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,520 You didn't even give me the chance. 374 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,280 If I'd have known I was going to be a dad, I might've started to act like one. 375 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,920 It wouldn't have made any difference. 376 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,400 -Why? Cos you think I'd be shit? -It's got nothing to do with that. 377 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,560 Just another Frank? 378 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,280 Your words, not mine. 379 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,800 -Does Ian know? -No. 380 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,960 We can have kids when we've both grown up a bit. 381 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,880 Yeah, right. 382 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,520 [Joe] All right? 383 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:19,800 Where's your mother? 384 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,960 She owes me money, remember? 385 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,960 None of my business, remember? 386 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,200 [Joe] You won't find her in there. 387 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,400 This is my shop now. I bought it. 388 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,720 New lock, lack of stock, and barrel. 389 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,880 Wondered how long it'd take you. 390 00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,440 [door closes] 391 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,720 With interest. 392 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,640 -Feeling better? -What do you think? 393 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,240 Listen, it had nothing to do with me. 394 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,880 Yeah, right. That's what I thought when I got me face smashed in. 395 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,480 Listen, pal, I'm not gonna be sorry for something I haven't done. 396 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:22,880 -Course not. -[Yvonne] It's done. 397 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,040 Over. 398 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,320 Wise woman. 399 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,640 A toast, to new beginnings. 400 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,840 [mobile phone rings] 401 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,320 Hello? 402 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:46,440 Hello? 403 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,160 Rude not to. 404 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,680 [sighs contentedly] Good doing business with ya! 405 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,360 [playing soft music] 406 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,120 [music becomes distant] 407 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,040 [music fades into romantic opera music] 408 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:53,760 [Holly] Liam? 409 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,720 [Holly] Liam? 410 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,000 [loud thud] 411 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,600 [groans in pain] 412 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,080 [phone rings] 413 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:06,960 Jockey. 414 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,240 Frank, school. 415 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,560 Hello? Yeah? 416 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,960 ["Wannabe" by Spice Girls plays loudly above] 417 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,720 [sighs] 418 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,520 Stay there, I'll go. 419 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,880 [Frank sighs and hangs up] 420 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,280 [music becomes distorted] 421 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,920 [music plays very loudly] 422 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,320 [music stops] 423 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,160 -Sorry. -It's okay. 424 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:51,360 How are you feeling? 425 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,800 We should never've decorated. 426 00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:00,840 I know some people that keep dead peoples' rooms the same for years. 427 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,880 Like a shrine. 428 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,560 Who had the right to just wipe out all trace of her like that? 429 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,120 I'm sure it wasn't intentional. 430 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,120 It's not right, though, is it? 431 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,640 You miss her, don't you? 432 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,880 She was me best friend. 433 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,800 And she was my baby girl. 434 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,720 Let me get Shane to decorate for you. 435 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,800 Not just in here, I mean. The whole pub. 436 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,200 It'll do you good to have a change about the place. 437 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,520 You're too good to me. 438 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,000 Nonsense. 439 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,520 There's no such thing as in-laws where I come from. 440 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,600 You marry into the family and that's it. 441 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,320 [melancholy music] 442 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,000 You call them mum and dad. Two sets of parents. 443 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,760 [Mimi knocking] Karen? 444 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,160 Jesus! 445 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,040 [Mimi] Stop her, Paddy! 446 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,240 [glass breaking] 447 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:42,880 Christ! Karen, no! 448 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:44,880 [Paddy grunts] 449 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,760 [Karen laughs] 450 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,080 [Mimi] What are you doing? 451 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,880 [Karen laughs manically] 452 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,800 Why are you putting us through this, you selfish bitch? 453 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,840 Get out! Just get out! 454 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,560 [sobbing] 455 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,360 [Paddy hushes her] It's okay. 456 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,720 [uncontrollable sobbing] 457 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,560 [Micky] Yeah, another pipe's gone, mate. 458 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,840 Well, soon as you can, really. 459 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,560 All right, nice one. 460 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,080 [suggestive music] 461 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,600 [grunts] 462 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,480 [Mickey] Oh, no! Butterfingers! [groans exaggeratedly] 463 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,840 No worries. Happens all the time. 464 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:50,680 Yeah? 465 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,320 Take it off, I'll dry it out for ya. 466 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:56,920 -No need. -Oh, It's fine! 467 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,880 It's no trouble, mate. Take it off, I'll sort it. 468 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,240 -I'll live. Honest. -Take it off! 469 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,840 [tiger roar] 470 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,360 [pulsating music] 471 00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:22,520 [music fades out] 472 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,719 Another drink? 473 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,080 Why not? Yeah. 474 00:34:33,159 --> 00:34:35,480 ["Could It Be Magic" by Take That plays loudly] 475 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,760 Come on! 476 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,600 -[Jamie] Karen? -[Paddy] Karen? 477 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,560 -Karen? -Karen? 478 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,960 [Jamie] Karen! 479 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,199 [Paddy] Karen? 480 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,120 [music gets louder] 481 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,320 What the fuck do you want? 482 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,680 [music stops] 483 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,520 I was thinking orange, what do you think? 484 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:05,960 -Yeah, whatever you think. -Blue? 485 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,280 Yellow? I dunno. White? 486 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:09,880 White? 487 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,240 -[yelling] White! White! White! -[distorted screaming] 488 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,640 White? 489 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,320 Dad! Keep him away! Get him away from me! 490 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,520 [Karen screams] 491 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,440 [Jamie] Please! 492 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,160 -Keep him away! -Not now, son! 493 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,400 -I'm her husband, Dad! Karen! -No! 494 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,720 Please, go! Go now! 495 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,960 [Karen] No! 496 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,480 -[door closes] -[Karen grunts] 497 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,160 Calm down, calm down. [Paddy hushes her] 498 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:35,480 [Karen breathes heavily] Dad! 499 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,320 [sobbing] Dad... 500 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,040 What happens when we die? 501 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:45,960 Does it just switch off? 502 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:51,240 You're here for years, and then nothing. 503 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:55,040 Cos what's the point? Could be gone tomorrow. 504 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,480 Could be run over. By a bus. A truck. 505 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,840 A fucking milk float. 506 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,200 Can you imagine the embarrassment if one of them took you out? 507 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,240 You're not going to die. 508 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,440 [soft, sad music] 509 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:22,600 Joe was right. 510 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,080 Me... 511 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,240 in me tight tops... 512 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,720 [voice deepens] "...and your short skirt, 513 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,440 you're just a slag." 514 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,440 [voice breaking] I'm sorry, Mandy. 515 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,360 We couldn't help it, we tried but we couldn't... 516 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,720 I'm so sorry. 517 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:47,800 [door opens] 518 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,840 No! Not him! 519 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,080 Oh! Fucking hell! 520 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,560 -[Jamie] Karen! -[Paddy] No, no, no! 521 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,080 [screams] 522 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,320 It's me, babes! 523 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,240 [screaming intensifies] 524 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,760 -[Jamie] Calm down, love, it's me! -[Karen] No! 525 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,000 [Karen] No, no! 526 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:12,240 -[Karen screams] No! -[Mimi speaks inaudibly] 527 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:28,480 [Ian] You okay? 528 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,920 -I need somewhere to stay. -That bad? 529 00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:33,400 Come on. 530 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,320 -[Derek] Let me give you a lift home, eh? -[Liam] Honest, it's fine. 531 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,360 [Frank] All right, son? [panting] 532 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,800 [Frank] What's going on, son? Let's have a look. Come here. [groans] 533 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,440 Oh, that's all right, it's nothing much to write home about, eh? 534 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,120 Son? 535 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,160 [chuckles] 536 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,400 No matter how fucking cool you think you are, 537 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,920 as soon as they get to secondary school they're always ashamed 538 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,120 -about being seen with their old man. -Old? 539 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,200 -Don't you mean deceased? -[Derek] Holly! 540 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,040 [Derek sighs] No offence. We thought you were dead. 541 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,480 Well, half cut, pal, I'll give you that. 542 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,200 But as God is my witness, I'm anything but dead. 543 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:17,880 [Holly] Apparently, they dedicated 544 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,360 a waiting room to your name when you were mown down? 545 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,680 [Derek] By a fire engine. 546 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,640 [Holly] Jumped in front of it saving a six-year-old girl's life? 547 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,720 She was thrown 50 feet in the air? 548 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,120 -I thought we were good together. -We are. 549 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,720 [Frank chuckles] Listen, kid, 550 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:41,640 telling porkies to dazzle the ladies might seem a good idea at the time 551 00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:45,680 but it's always going to come back, and bite you on the arse. Mark my words. 552 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,000 Sorry. 553 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,640 Keep your dignity, kid. 554 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,840 You know, we all do it. 555 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,960 Most lads your age would walk over hot coals to get a bit of muff. 556 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,240 [Frank laughs] 557 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,520 What's a lickle white lie between friends, eh, Mr... 558 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,240 [Derek] Come on, Holly. 559 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,080 I don't blame you for lying, lad. 560 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,800 I'd have done the same if he was my father. 561 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,320 Hey, just hang on a minute, pal. 562 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,640 I'm only trying to be polite. 563 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,720 And I'm a good father, for your information. 564 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,840 -Admittedly, not the best in... -I'm sorry. Can we just start again? 565 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:13,920 when they want a pint! 566 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,040 -And where would he fit in? -And I love them... 567 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,720 [Holly] What if you ask me over for tea and he's there? 568 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,080 ...be honest with them. We have a laugh together. 569 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,440 I'm proud of what I've got. 570 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,680 -[Frank] Proud of each... -Will you just shut up? 571 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,080 -...and every one of them. -Are you always this rude? 572 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:30,680 Foul-mouthed? You're behaving like a rancid, festering, smelly, old tramp. 573 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,360 [Holly] Dad, can Liam come in the car with us? Please. 574 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,360 [sad music] 575 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,520 Right, it's okay, son. I understand. 576 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,680 You know where I am if you need me. 577 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,920 Maybe "tramp" was a bit harsh. 578 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,720 [Holly] Liam? 579 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:11,840 Liam! 580 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,520 [Kelly] Why don't we just tell them the truth? 581 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:49,600 [Mimi] What, and lose all trade? 582 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,240 [Paddy] It's not good for business Shane being cuckoo. 583 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,120 Karen's the reason most blokes come in here in the first place. 584 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,600 I think they'll find it in their hearts to forgive her for a few week's absence. 585 00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,680 No one wants a screaming banshee pulling pints, though. 586 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,680 [Kelly] She's ill. Why can't you just say that? 587 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,760 -[Mimi] People aren't stupid. -[Kelly] Oh, really? 588 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,760 -Is that a fact? -We could say she's on remand for assault? 589 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,360 -[Paddy] A family tiff? -Uh-huh. 590 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:12,320 She knocked seven shades of shite out of one of you two lads? 591 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,000 -Yeah, but... -[Mimi] I like it! 592 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,560 Assault it is, then. 593 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,440 -Dad? -[sighs] What? 594 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,240 Could you sub us a oner? I'm late on the rent and Ian's being a right cunt. 595 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,880 As he should be if you're late. 596 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,640 [mobile phone rings] 597 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:44,520 Hello? 598 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,800 [Paddy] Hello? 599 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,240 [sighs contentedly] Good doing business with ya! 600 00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,000 [Yvonne giggles] 601 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,160 [Micky grunts in pain] 602 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,280 I take that as a no, then. 603 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,640 [frantic music] 604 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,080 Shit! 605 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,320 Fuck! 606 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,760 [Yvonne] Promise you'll call me every day. 607 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:28,920 Course I will. 608 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,240 I love you, son. 609 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,320 Right. Go on. 610 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,160 -What kind of mother leaves her son? -A good one. You've done a brilliant job. 611 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,400 He's a good lad. He'll be fine. 612 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,080 Thanks. 613 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,400 Keep her safe or you're dead meat. 614 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,960 Course I will. 615 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,640 And you stick with Joe. He'll look after you. 616 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,800 -I can look after myself. -You know what I mean. 617 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,000 Be careful. 618 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,360 -[Stan grunts] -[loud thump] 619 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,000 [heavy breathing] 620 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,480 [door opens] 621 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,880 -She asked me to. -Why? 622 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,960 She said she doesn't want any more hassle. 623 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,320 -There is no hassle. -I'm only helping out. 624 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,360 I could've done it. 625 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,400 Maybe it's best if you both get some space for a few days. 626 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:52,600 Is that what she said? 627 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,840 We need space? 628 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,800 That's right up there with, "It's not you, it's me." 629 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,320 You'll be telling me she doesn't deserve me next. 630 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:01,720 I knew you'd take her side. 631 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,760 I'm not taking sides! 632 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,600 I want what's best for both of ya. 633 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,680 Has she told you everything? 634 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,280 I said what's between you two is none of my business. 635 00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,440 -Mate, she-- -Carl, no. 636 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,720 Mate, I don't wanna know. 637 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,520 [Micky grunts] 638 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,120 -[rattling of tools] -[Micky grunts] 639 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,040 -[Ian] What's happened now? -Pipes. 640 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:31,920 -Again? -Yeah. 641 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,440 I'd better give Dan a call. 642 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,880 -What's up? -System must be fucked. 643 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,640 Think we need the whole thing re-doing. Everything just keeps leaking. 644 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,880 -[phone being dialled] -No, that's nowt, that. 645 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,760 Just need to replace the trap, that's all. 646 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,000 Someone's been pissing about with this, haven't they? 647 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:51,880 What? 648 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,680 Helpless female course at sixth form. 649 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,280 [Maxine] I did basic plumbing. Just leave it to me. 650 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,760 -Nice one. -[Micky sighs] 651 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,280 [Jamie] Early lesson in being married to a Jackson. 652 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:13,560 Not sometimes, but every time, you just can't win. 653 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:18,520 But do I really want to? And what is winning, anyway? 654 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,160 She's a bit like my old mate Kenny Morris, is my missus. 655 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:22,480 [Maxine and Ian laughing] 656 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:26,240 [Jamie] Trying to make me go along with one crazy idea after the next. 657 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,600 Hardly ever knows when to take no for an answer 658 00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:33,040 and there's not one person I know that she'll take an ounce of shit from. 659 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,640 The only real difference between her and Kenny is, 660 00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:41,480 when she asks me to get on the back of her bike, I do. 661 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,880 Just like that. No questions asked. 662 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,480 [trampoline springs squeaking] 663 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,560 [Jamie] Fucking terrifying, yeah. 664 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:50,920 [Karen laughing] Bouncy, bouncy. 665 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,240 [Jamie] But the ride? 666 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,200 Wouldn't miss it for the world. 667 00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:00,240 [Karen laughing] One, two, three, four... 668 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,800 [Billy] Mrs. Maguire, you're trying to seduce me. 669 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,160 Switch the fucking light on! 670 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,080 I shall see again on my terms. 671 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,720 [Frank] Where the shit am I? 672 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,920 Just point me home, will ya? 673 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,080 [Mimi] This is ours. 674 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,520 -I like what we have. -You're always pleasing me. 675 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,960 Just need to liven things up with a game of pull a pig. 676 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,760 I can't believe I promised him he'd get laid tonight. 677 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,720 I think we both want the same thing, don't we? 678 00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,240 It has been a long time. 679 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,640 [Paddy] Shane made me a promise tonight. 680 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:32,400 Wash your cock in the sink and throw on a condom. 681 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,200 -Smell my finger. -What's that? 682 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,400 -Your mam. [laughs] -[laughter] 683 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,600 Hiya, is that Dicks And Mortar? 684 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,160 Yeah, I think I've got a bit of subsidence, mate. 685 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:25,400 Any chance you can come over for a shufties? 686 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:27,760 Nice one. 687 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:31,200 [grunts] 688 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,080 [grunts] 689 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:39,720 [loud crash] 49324

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