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CARINA

That was a hell of a party.

And they kept on all night long.

I almost feel like I've got
a hangover myself.

Yes, they had something to celebrate.

-Yeah, right, they did.
-How are things going for our dear rivals?

ENERGY EFFICIENT,
ONE PLATE OF PORRIDGE PER SEA MILE

Yes, well, Rut...

We're really lucky to have you.

Forty-seven boats sold in one week.
That must be a new damned record.

-Luck?
-Yes.

-You pay the most.
-Yes, sure.

You must admit it's lucky
I can... pay the most.

There wasn't a single person
who wanted to buy this barge.

Barge?

-Boat.
-Right.

Sorry. You've designed an excellent boat,
but nobody understands that.

Maybe we could sell it as a barge.

Aren't you going on vacation?

-Paris.
-Paris?

Lena's idea.

Hi, Tage!

-So, the time has come.
-Finally!

-I guess so.
-It'll be so wonderful.

-Will it?
-Yes.

-Paris... Is it really worth seeing?
-You bet.

Just think of all the cafés
and theaters we can go to.

-Yes.
-La Seine. You know.

-Yes. But don't they speak French there?
-Bien sûr.

-Yeah, well, there won't be any money.
-No, there won't be any money.

No, I understand.

-Besides, I'm going on vacation.
-He's going on vacation.

Yes, well, that sounds nice.

-So the writ has been served.
-Okay.

-So what happens now?
-Time for confiscation.

Get out of the way.

The boats?
They were moved out during the night.

Just us left, packing up.

-We're packing up here.
-Yes, right.

Prince Kahlifa bin Hischam al Saba. Oil.
Could be millions, you know.

-Could be a fantastic thing.
-Janne Andersson. From Nämndö Island.

-Yes.
-You're buying boats?

-You sell boats, too, right?
-No, I'm from the Enforcement Authority.

-I'm here to serve a writ on the Carina.
-No confiscation or scandal.

For God's sake, no scandal. Promise!

-They have their circus up.
-Hello, Ulf. Good to see you.

-What have you got going on now?
-Nothing to do with you.

A fantastic deal.
If we can just find the right boat.

Then don't climb around on that bath tub.

A thousand boats at one time.
If he makes up his mind.

-Makes up his mind? Not a problem.
-Maybe some sort of race?

-Fun, right? Try to look happy.
-Race? No point in you entering.

-Why don't you lose yourself somewhere?
-That's what your boat will do.

-Can you look over here?
-We have to be out within the hour.

There's just one thing I'm pondering...

When you row fast, I mean
really fast rowing: overdrive. Then...

There there's a lot of noise here.
And the oar locks are...

There can be a lot of wear between
the woodwork and the oar locks.

Here, at the oar lock, can you put in
a friction protector?

-Yes, but why would you row so fast?
-No, why would you?

Him, that Arab guy,
he couldn't make up his mind.

I think they're doing a race.
Up the Göta Canal, first to Gothenburg.

The Andersson boat doesn't have a chance.
Whereas we, with our resources...

Yes, of course. But just the same...

An order of 1,000 boats at 400,000 each.
That works out to four... four...

Forty million.

-Forty million!
-Forty million. Not bad.

-Should I bring the bike?
-Are you taking the bicycle?

-We're bringing the bike.
-Okay, Rune, we're bringing the bike.

Let's see. All we need then is a tough guy
to drive the boat. Know anyone?

-I know lots of tough guys.
-Name one.

-Björn H:son Larsson.
-Never!

But sure, he's tough.

And he can drive a boat. As well.

I see. Well. Okay, then call him.

I wonder what the Arab wants
with a thousand boats.

-What the hell do we care?
-Yes, but still, I wonder.

The Sea Scouts.

Aren't you going on vacation?

Sigge, first to Gothenburg via Göta Canal,
then we have an order for 1,000 boats.

We'll show that plastics factory that
Andersson's Boat Builders don't play.

But they have fantastically
better resources than we do.

What do we have, Sigge?

Seamanship! Sharp minds!

And a hell of a lot of motivation!

-But what about Lena?
-Lena? I'll handle that.

We'll see about that.

I've got some things to fix in there...

Hi, Darling. Good that you could come.

The airport bus left exactly 9 hours
and 37 minutes ago. Exactly!

-Well, you see...
-Why are you here?

-But, darling...
-Silence! Shut up!

A thousand boats, Mom. A thousand.

Thank you for the lucky egg.

Lena!

Sigge can drive himself. That's fine.

We had decided to make rowboats.

There's no point in competing with them.
They have much better resources.

Ha! Mostly t-shirts and transfers.

-They have transfers?
-Yeah, it could be worth a try.

Sigurd, if you want to, you can race.

-I could always take Mom with me.
-Good. Don't drag your mom into this.

It can't be much of a problem,
it's only a canal. A canal!

Can we get a little help with these bags?

Yes.

-That one there.
-The one to the right?

-It looks impressive.
-Yes, it's not bad.

Listen, you're taking pictures
of the wrong boat.

Rut! So where is your tough guy?

Relax, he loves to be on time.

And does he need an escort as well?

See, over there. You... Can fire there.
Which cannon is it?

-That one.
-That one there?

-Of course.
-Yes.

Yes, right. It's those two boats
right there that you're firing for.

Oh, look, the whole handicraft gang
in one place.

You're very sweet today. Snake.

-Teenager!
-Old maid!

-Rune, is everything ready?
-Yes. All filled up and ready to go.

No, no. You don't do...
I will do this, and then you fire.

When you drop your hand, I fire.

Not yet, not now, damn it!

No, when we pull this little pin,
then it goes off.

Uh, just one of those then,
there is no danger?

-Are you thinking of starting them twice?
-No, no. Good lord, no. It's good.

No. Two boats, you see... One shot. One
shot, see. I should remove my glasses.

Yes, and you've got to be out of the way.
There's a hell of a wallop in this can.

-Just look at me, then. Look at me.
-Yes, yes.

Christ! Don't shoot! Don't fire now!
Fire when I do this... Yes.

-Hi, Uffe, nice that you could be here.
-Yes, Hi, Åke. Oh, you're not Åke!

-No, I'm Leif.
-Leif! Yes, Leif. This is a big deal here.

Hello, nice to see you. Hello.
Are you ready? All of you?

-Ready, yes. Just waiting for the driver.
-He'll be here in three seconds.

Damn.

Bad luck.

Quick question. How do you spell Björn?

Are you... Are you ready now?
There's only one minute left.

So long, Sigurd! Don't spend
all your money in one place!

I don't have any.

-Can you hold the boat, Lena? Hold it?
-Yes. Got it.

-Hold the boat!
-Yes, yes!

-I'll go forward, you hold the boat.
-No! Janne!

-Hold it.
-No! Janne!

-Hold it, Lena!
-Come here!

Hold the boat, Lena.

-I can't!
-Just hold it!

-Can you just move?
-Hold it!

-I can't!
-Hold it!

-No, Janne!
-What the hell?

-Janne!
-You should also go!

-You should go.
-Drive!

-No! Stop!
-Shut up! Not now.

-What are you doing?
-There are more important things.

We've got a big deal on here.

It doesn't bloody matter if we
get to Paris a few days late.

We have a baby-sitter for one week.
One week!

Yeah, but we can do this in one day.

Or two.

Storm and gale warnings have been issued.

Lena! Can you come in?

I love you, you know!

Lena! The blanket!

At least take a blanket. I love you.

They say there will be a full storm.
And dinner will be ready soon.

Well, damn. Then we'll stay
on the leeward side of the islands.

Bolla basse... Good wine.

Darling, we'll have good food.

Something French.

Sigge! I did good, didn't I?
You know what I'm saying?

-No, not at all.
-The Paris trip.

We can look at the French later.

Sigge! Have you seen the compass?

Aha! There it is!

There, Rut! Now we'll see if you can
stand a bit of waving about.

Are you going to blow your nose?

We're heading out to sea now.
Then we'll cut loose.

That would be great.

But listen, aren't you riding a bit high?

Listen, Rune, I promise to let you know
ten seconds before she blows up.

You make a good meal, Sigge.
That's really great.

-What is it?
-Escargot.

Escargot, really? It's very good.

-Escargot. What is it?
-Snails.

In ancient Rome they used to eat these
on Midsummer's Eve.

Got anything to drink?

Bonne du Chateau. '76.

-But you can only have one glass.
-Seventy-six?

Yes. And I have a few bottles of
Chateau du Plaisance '73 as well.

Is that good wine? '73?

-Yes.
-Did you buy old wine?

He bought old wine, Lena.
Hear that? Old wine!

Old...

Cheers to me.

It's just some virus.

Of course. The maritime type.

The Carina can't handle
this weather either.

No. And they probably knew it
and took another course.

There isn't another course.

Inside the islands
there's only rocks and reefs and junk.

I wonder why they went that way, then?

Stockholm's Radio calling
the MS Bottna. Over.

We have to push on a bit more.

Don't you want your food, Björn?

We can't give assistance now, try to sail
into the lee. We'll get back to you. Over.

Oh, poor little boy. Poor little guy...

Where's the canal?

-Sigurd! Know anything about canals?
-Yes, they're like a stairway.

Back up now. Back up.

At least there's no Uniship here.

-Don't you think you should back up?
-I'm going in.

OPEN FOR PLEASURE BOATS 8-20
CLOSED FOR LUNCH 12-12:45

Untie the aft rope.

It won't work.

-Let the aft rope out. Do it, please!
-The rope!

-It won't go.
-Use your nails.

Nails.

Hurry up! Take the rope with you!

Hurry up!

Hey, you nut! What are you doing?

My god, some people are crazy.

Well, that's not very good PR.

When we're done, we won't need PR, baby.

Or we won't have anything left
to advertise.

-How do you want your eggs? 3, 4 minutes?
-That's fine.

Twenty-five minutes!

It's ringing.

Andersson's Carina.
Yes, one moment, please.

Sigurd, it's for you.

Yes, hello. It's me.
What?

-What kind of Sunday sailor is that?
-There is a speed limit in the canal.

-Is there? How much?
-4.8 knots.

Really? 4.8 knots? That doesn't count
when you're racing, does it?

-Don't be so sure.
-Yes, but you've got so many fjords there.

Look, there's the whole equipment store.

Yes, I can count on it then.
Then I can see what it means.

-What are you doing?
-Step on it.

Yeah, but we can't rebuild the whole boat.

But we can talk about it later. Agreed.

Bye.

Sigurd! We need more juice in the pistons!

-25 minutes.
-Get the motors running.

Look out!

-Service car. Over.
-Service car here. Where are you? Over.

-Where are we?
-You'll have to check the sun.

Well, if you drive along the canal,
you'll see us easily.

-Okay.
-Over and out.

How's it going?

Forward, Mr. Bond.

-Excuse me, can I get my basket back?
-Shut up!

Lena! Let's go!

Get a move on!

Bonjour. Arrêtez. Come on. There you go.

-Bonjour, mademoiselle.
-Bonjour, monsieur.

Did you open a country store?

-They've docked.
-Indeed.

-That's really a landfall.
-At least half of one.

Bonjour madame...

Sigurd. Can you get this thing going now?

I think it's the impeller.
A hole in the pipe.

-Did you get a fish in that too?
-No.

-Mademoiselle.
-Mademoiselle.

Look, there's the King!

Sigurd, it's the King!
Lena, it's the King!

The King? Why would he
be sailing in the Göta Canal?

Bien sûr.

Would you open the lock?
We're in a terrible hurry.

-Nope. If it's 8 o'clock, it stays closed.
-Yes, but it's only a little past.

Eight is eight. The lock stays closed.

You shouldn't be in a hurry
when you sail the Göta Canal.

Rune!

There's a job for you.

Maybe you'd like to see
one of our brochures...

We've got a boat for every...

This way!

Hey, you. The lock is closed.

Keep your lock closed,
we'll get by just the same.

Oh, good lord, this is all wrong.

Then we have the aft cabin... here.

And we can arrange financing
with very good conditions.

There's no method
the upper classes won't stoop to.

And a seasonal discount.

-Rut, hurry up!
-I mean as a thanks for your help!

Don't they ever eat over there?

All you think about is food.

Speaking of food...

...how are things going with
our charming Norwegian?

Our biggest and safest customer...

Our only one, at that.

He wants to make a few changes.

There will be worms in that wood
before he makes a decision.

Yes, but we can't change anything.
We can't afford to.

We could get a state subsidy.

Oh, I'm done. I'm going to hit the sack.

-Good night.
-Good night.

-Where are you going?
-Paris!

Yes. I think I'll hit the sack, too.

I'm going to sit up for a while.

Tomorrow's morning weather
for southern Sweden...

A west wind for Northern Scandinavia...

More clouds in the north,
starting in the mountains.

I wonder why an Arabian prince
would want 1,000 boats.

Well? What do you think?

To take broads out on the Red Sea,
of course.

A thousand of them? No.

Patrol boats. Coast Guard.

A machine gun on the forecastle
and a light cannon in the aft.

Sigurd, you're crazy.

Then he won't have any room
for the broads!

No.

Pack them full of broads
and out into the Red Sea.

Hold their hands and look into their eyes,
that's what it's all about.

-Omar Sharif style, I've heard about it.
-He's really fine.

Well, good night.

Tomorrow, we're going
to run that boat like hell.

Quite the evening prayer.

I think large would be better. Large.

-Do they shrink much?
-No... Yes, they'll shrink.

I'll give you something to dream about:
I'll tell you tomorrow's menu.

Minestrone for lunch.

Chicken breast Provençal
and crème caramel for dinner.

-Good, right?
-Can't we have burgers?

Sweetie.

You're just a burger yourself.

East Svealand region: mild westerly winds
and light cloud cover.

Yes, that's right, Mom.

And guess who else?

Yes, Queen Silvia.

So they're all resting here
in the dark of the night...

Safe. They think the authorities are
sleeping too. Not at all, not at all.

Time to intervene.

Here we go.

Yes, an urgent issue.
We must intervene, overtime.

We must make an arrest
as quickly as possible.

Yes. It's a fine night.
Warm and pleasant...

Despite the lateness of the season.

May I trouble you for
your personal registration number? Well?

There will be a tax on boats. And canoes!

And trailers. We'll show them.

-Does it work?
-No, I can't pull it out.

Ow! No, don't pull so tight.

Can you do that somewhere else?

I'm sleeping, you know.

-Listen, what is this for?
-That's your depth meter, of course.

Depth meter. Oh, I see.

-And what's this, then?
-Don't ask so many questions.

Listen, isn't it a good idea for you
to do this yourself? You're used to it.

Yes, sure. But my sinus is clogged.

I can't take the pressure.

What is it?

Be careful. And just stay along the edge
of the shoreline, like this.

Do you have your tools with you?

How did it go?

Listen, a naked girl showed up.

-Bullshit.
-It's true! She was in front of my nose!

-Did you get them off?
-What?

What do you mean, "what"?
The propellers, of course.

-Only one of them.
-You should have gotten both.

Help me out of this. There.

Don't forget to look in the rear-view
mirror. That's important, as you know.

And the final message in this episode
comes from the traffic police in...

Are you okay?

...that far too many cars are carrying
overly large loads on their roofs.

-What kind of driving is that?
-What kind of driving it is?

It's sabotage! Now, goddamn it,
this is war. War, I say!

They've made a huge mistake. Now it's war!

Well, baby girl,
now it's basically in the bag.

Not quite yet... baby boy.

It was good that she decided to take
a bath. This is all working out.

Look, there they are! Go faster!

What do you think I'm doing?
I'm giving her full gas now.

Andersson's Carina. Yes, just a moment.

Sigurd! It's for you.

-Is it the Norwegian?
-Yes.

Yes, good morning. Yes?

There's a hell of a racket here!
Try to talk a little louder!

Stop that!

Bottom plug? Yes.

We'll we have to try to arrange that.
I can do some calculations.

You're crazy!

-We got him!
-We did!

Women and children first!

-What if they got hurt?
-Not those guys.

-No, they just scraped bottom a little.
-Scraped bottom?

-Look, here come some fire trucks.
-That's really nice.

How about a kiss?

-Service car, service car! Over.
-Service.

Sure, we can put it back together.
In a couple of months.

Service car! Service car! Over.

Yes, what is your problem?
And first off, where are you?

Well, our position is... a little
to the side of the canal.

The motorcycle doesn't seem
to be damaged at all.

At Brunneby. Over.

Have you gone off course somehow?

Yes. Well, then, Carina has won.

So maybe it's time for a little coffee?

Women and children?

Well, we won't get any further tonight.

It's closed.

-We can dock here.
-In the middle of a party?

That doesn't matter. It could be fun.

Don't wreck this one too,
Mr. H:son Larsson.

And we'll be quiet about
this little... change of plans.

-Yes, well there's no harm done.
-You owe us a boat.

Yes, but we can figure out
the costs later... and then...

Well, it all depends on how the rest
of the race goes, Mr. H:son Larsson.

-Are you coming?
-Yes. But not right now.

This is what they call cheating.

-That shouldn't bother you.
-No. But that is what it's called.

Ha! Great passions...

Indeed, if I say... emotional.

Your whole life is about to change.

And here I see a dark lady entering...

-What are you doing?
-Oh, so sorry!

-Listen, wait a minute.
-Oh no...

Come on. I want to show you something.

Yes, come on.

Uniship. Uniship, over.

Uniship, over.

Do you want a hamburger
or a grilled steak?

-Hello.
-Hi. This is nice.

-Yes, it's a fine boat.
-Would be nice to have it.

-You think so?
-Yes, it's terrific.

-It's for sale.
-It is?

Sure. I'm going on a long trip abroad so,
yes. I'm going to sell it.

Oh yeah? How much do you want for it?

Well, for a quick deal, maybe...

Half price, 200,000.

Half price, two hundred. I'll give you
a hundred... ninety thousand.

There's plenty of cash here.

Ninety thousand, count it.

-Ninety thousand is...
-Plenty.

You're going on a trip and need money.

-Here's my hand, man.
-Yup.

-Are you turned on?
-What? Should I be?

Lena! Wait!

-Rush it a little, Sigge.
-This won't take long.

Go to hell, you rotten bastard!
Let me tell you something.

Your life-line isn't all that long
and you'll never be rich.

-How about love and money?
-That's fine. I've already got 90,000.

Your life will be in ruins and you'll
never find a woman!

Mom!

Let's go.

-Hop in. What have you been up to?
-Who was that?

-I asked what you've been up to.
-That's irrelevant.

-Who was that?
-That's irrelevant.

-What have you been up to?
-That's irrelevant.

I heard you ask, but I asked first.
What have you been up to?

-Where is Rune?
-I don't know.

Last time I saw him,
he was dancing with some broad.

There must have been some
misunderstanding.

You see, it wasn't his boat.

It's a great boat. Two motors,
a bit unsteady, but it runs great.

-Yes, I know all about that.
-Listen, you fat Turk!

-Just beat it, will you?
-Turk? I'm Greek.

Björn, hurry up. We're in a hurry,
can you get the motorcycle on board?

You can have it for 200 thousand.
Not a penny less.

Okay.

Two hundred.

All of you get off now.
I just sold the boat.

Best boat deal I ever made.

There we are.

Would you be so kind as to
open the bridge for us?

No, no. The show is over.

Eight o'clock tomorrow morning.

Hi! This is Sivan.

Say hello, Sivan.

Listen, haven't we been here before?

Good night!

-You seem upset.
-Shut up!

Did something happen?

I'm going to hit the sack.

ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITY
SEIZED GOODS

Hey, look. What's this?
Does the canal end here?

No. There's more canal
on the other side of the lake.

-Oh.
-Bien sûr.

-Mademoiselle.
-Mademoiselle.

-Rose.
-Rose.

-What should our course be, Sigge?
-Vas.

Two-hundred seventy degrees.

Are you sure of that?
Isn't that the oven temperature?

-J'ai travaillé à l'école.
-Sigurd! Hurry up!

We haven't got time for that. Sigurd!

-God, what was that?
-That splash! Must have been a huge fish.

-Maybe one of those sheatfish.
-Sheatfish?

-Aren't they usually kept in drawers?
-No, it was just a carp or something.

Sigge, what are you going to do
with all that junk?

Just a little invention
that may come in handy.

Happy anniversary!

Congratulations!

Janne, it's his birthday today. We can't.

Oh, yes we can. It'll be fine.

No, no. It's not eight o'clock yet.

It sure as hell is.

Let us go, there's five minutes left!

No, no. It's evening now.

And today is my birthday.

-Well, happy birthday, then.
-Thank you very much.

-No point in getting all excited.
-Food is served.

Hope you like it.

I wonder if I could sell a boat
to that guy.

He can't even afford to buy a cushion.

-No, but he wouldn't be buying a cushion.
-He doesn't need a boat like this.

This tastes really good, doesn't it?

No, but he might think he does
after I talk to him.

And what about the money?

If he feels the need to be great enough,
then he'll find the money.

But her... She certainly
doesn't need a cabin cruiser.

No. But maybe a decent kitchen.

-You are crazy.
-I'm good at selling boats.

Thank you, Rune.
That was an exquisite meal.

Yes. It was delicious, wasn't it?

Yes, Rune, you really are
a hell of a cook.

Janne! Should we be doing this?
It's his birthday!

This is a race. You can't pay attention
to stuff like that in a race.

-You keep an eye out.
-Yeah.

What's this? A customer!

I hope I'm not bothering you.
Congratulations.

You're not bothering us at all.
Have a seat.

-Yes, do.
-Thank you.

Good morning.

-I see you're working.
-You're up and about.

Yes. Bad packing. Listen,
I want you to hear something.

-I've been thinking.
-Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Can't you do that tomorrow?

No, we'll handle it now. About that plug,
in the boat, that we talked about.

-Look. A watch. A gold watch.
-Wow.

I got this from the Canal Company.
Because today, I retire.

Sink? Sink? What do you mean, sink?

Just so you know. You have a big plug,
sink fast. A little plug, sink slow.

-Right?
-I'll calculate that tomorrow.

That's fine.

While I'm here, is there some
place I can put my tent up for tonight?

Yes. Up there,
that's where you can set up a tent.

Well... I raise two crowns.

-Don't sit up too late, boys.
-How is it going?

Well, they can't get by much longer

without a Uniship 31-foot cruiser
with fully equipped galley.

Good night.

I think I will double that.

-You think?
-I'll double it.

Sigurd, there's a car coming!

Ah, there you are! Good, good.
I just want to tell you...

The Prince... is waiting excitedly.

Yes, yes. Go, go!

And Swedish commerce is going forward.

Overtime, overtime, right?

-And ambition. Ambition!
-Don't talk so loud.

-Don't disturb, right, right.
-Look at the Uniship instead.

-It's here, over here.
-Yes, of course.

-You're in the lead, right?
-Yes.

-Exciting. And it's all fun, right?
-Yes, sure.

So it's... All I want to say is "exports."
Very important for Sweden, as we say!

-There.
-Yes. There. That's good.

-Here we go.
-Good luck!

You know, I've often
thought about emigrating.

Oh, really?

But you know what stopped me?

Well... Could it be homesickness?

Solidarity with your native land?

The drains.

-Drains?
-Drains!

I see.

The difference between Sweden
and the rest of the world is the drains.

They're plugged.

Yes?

The toilets don't work.

The garbage stinks.

And the bathrooms... inasmuch
as bathrooms even exist...

They're plugged. All plugged up.

-And I can't take that, you see. No.
-No!

So that was that.
That was that. I stay home.

Yes?

But they cheated first, Mom.

They started it.

Yes, I know you think it'll
have a negative effect.

I'm not superstitious, Mom.

Why are they there?

What are they doing there?

Up and at 'em, Rune!

-Hurry up!
-Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.

Never mind, you can relax.

-There's no water left.
-That's fine, I can wash up later.

-Why are we leaning over like this?
-Why are we listing?

Hey...

Someone pulled the plug out of the sink.
Good boys.

It worked out.
But which way is Gothenburg?

On the other side of the lake,
then there's only Göta River to go.

-And a few sluice gates.
-No, not more of those.

-And they gave me a gold watch and all.
-You don't say.

Yes indeed. I retired yesterday.

-Lucky for you, then.
-Lucky? What do you mean by "lucky"?

Then they won't be able to fire you.

Oh, you mean...

-Ah!
-Thank you for your order.

-I don't remember anything.
-Thank you so much.

Do you think I was here?

But I didn't drink all that much.

-You're just old and forgetful.
-You think so?

Yes, I must have forgotten a gate
or something.

Yes, yes, that's it.

Anyway, I don't have to worry about it.
Other people are taking over now.

Sit down.

Well. Bjorn H:son Larsson.

-How are things?
-Things are good, I guess.

Mr. H:son Larsson, would you please
multiply 400,000 by 1,000?

Well, you see... The radar was screwed up.

-Then there was the water problem.
-Oh, I see.

Well? How is it going? The multiplication?

-Four million.
-No. Forty million.

-That's a hell of a lot of zeroes.
-Yes, it is.

Far too many zeroes.

You don't play around with
an order for 40 million.

It's about time we won
against this handicraft gang, isn't it?

My calculator says it's 400 million,
but then, it's an old one.

That doesn't matter.
If you don't win this race, you are fired.

-And you'll owe us a boat.
-And a motorcycle.

You can't treat a colleague this way.

-You can't. There's a law against it.
-What law is that?

Now, I was... I just...

I think that four million, 400 million,
that's really expensive.

-Trottoir.
-Trottoir.

-Refugier.
-Refugier.

-Défense de fumer.
-Défense de fumer.

-What course are you steering?
-340 degrees.

-Au revoir.
-Au revoir.

-Théatre.
-Théatre.

Page 35, Exercise 6...

-38 degrees!
-What?

-Then we have a fever.
-But...

-What's going on?
-The magnetic field. It's wrong!

We're almost up to Norway.

Norway? But weren't we
supposed to be going to Gothenburg?

-Steer around 180 degrees.
-You should have figured that out.

You messed with the compass, and it'll
take a week before it's normal again.

-You and your French!
-How was I supposed to know?

-We've lost at least seven hours.
-I thought you said a week.

-This year, we're taking a boat vacation.
-You don't have a boat.

No, but I'm working on getting one.

-One like that, right?
-I can't afford one like that on cop pay.

Not even if you tried to earn it honestly.

Who says you have to be honest?

-My old teacher.
-She's one to talk.

-SHO 710. SHO 710. Over.
-Time to work.

-710, over.
-SHO 710, listening, over.

There's a boat driving down the river
like a madman.

They should be near you.
A Uniship 31-footer.

Can you deal with that? Over.

Look who's standing there!

Bailiff ahead. Keep the food warm.

Stop. Stop!

Halt! Stop!

Stop, in the name of the law!

Hello?

Yeah, yeah. We give up.

Good day!

Welcome.

At last, maybe we can
sort out our little problem.

Marginal tax... Bertil, marginal tax.

You have to consider the actual cost.

The actual cost. Are you with me?

Yes, sure. The actual cost.

Yes, are you the skipper of this boat?

-Yes, of course I am, but...
-No, no. No buts here.

-But is it bigger or smaller, Rut?
-Smaller, Bertil. Smaller.

Smaller?

...where some plastic is burning...

Just relax now, everything in its time.

-Last name?
-H:son Larsson.

If we calculate the tax deductions...

-Larsson?
-I'm in a hurry.

With fuel deductions of 43,000.

-Do you spell that with one S or two?
-Doesn't matter.

Maybe not to you, but it matters to me.
One or two?

What did you write?

I won't tell you.

Two.

Well, now, we have to start over
with a new form.

Allan. She's figured out
that I can afford it.

-Should I go for it?
-Of course. Get it while you can.

A policeman should never hesitate to grab
what he can.

Last name?

You are... You're the dumbest person
I've ever met.

-I happen to be a bailiff.
-Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

How do you think somebody can pay
debts when they don't have any money?

-Shall I kill him?
-Yeah, go ahead.

Listen. If you wait until tomorrow,
you'll get your money!

I'm sorry, but there is no tomorrow
for a bailiff.

But there is for us.
We've only got a little bit more to go!

-Let him take the boat.
-Since dinner is just about finished...

I was thinking, I mean,
it's a shame to waste it, right?

I mean, would you gentlemen...?

-Yes.
-Sigurd!

It's hardly a bribe to consume
immaterial portions of confiscated goods.

-No.
-No. Of course not. Come in.

Thank you.

Traitor.

Then all it needs is your signature.
There... Here, on the dotted line.

You don't think I could
pay this over 15 years?

Listen, just keep within the speed limit
in the future.

Another one who thinks
that the actual costs are less.

-Less than what?
-Doesn't matter, does it?

-Now, Bertil, be perfectly honest.
-Ha! You should talk.

He would sell his own mother for a steak.

-Maybe it's just as well.
-How do you figure?

Think about our factory making 1,000
boats on our little island.

With worker rights, wage freezes,
pension payments, wild strikes...

-Nobody has said a word about striking.
-Never mind.

We're probably better off
whittling a rowboat now and then.

I think he was trying to tell us
something. Sigurd.

No, he was hungry. That rat.

Janne, can you run one of those cranes?

-No. Can you?
-Yes. If I really have to.

Darling!

Cool cranes.

Hush!

I'll take the boat, you handle the crane.

No, thank you. It's very kind, but
I can't have distilled drinks on duty.

Distilled? How dare you?

This vintage wine
from the South of France

has been mashed by the laborious
and earthy aromatic feet of farmers.

-Distilled...
-Forgive me.

I just went on duty three minutes ago,
so I'll have a little.

I hope you gentlemen enjoyed the lamb.

-Really excellent.
-Yes, delicious.

So much better than sausage and potatoes.

Thanks again, but we must be thinking
about leaving...

No, no, no... We have to have
coffee first, don't we?

-Yes, please.
-Yes.

Yes. I will take that.

Oh god... Where's reverse?

Hello? Hello?

No, I haven't got the time right now.
See you, then.

Hello?

Are you there? Hello?

Well. I think I must go see a little bush.

-Absolutely not.
-What?

-A little more coffee first.
-Yes, well...

Well, what do you know? It almost
feels like floating over the ground.

Sometimes even this job
has its bright side.

-Yes, but I still have to go.
-You just sit down.

This has been so nice,
I think we can drop the numbers.

-The titles. I'm Peter.
-Sigurd.

Thank you, Sigurd.

Would you like a bit more to drink?

-I don't believe in violence.
-There won't be much violence now.

Please. Let me out!

-He has to pee.
-Who does?

-The policeman!
-Give him a clothes pin.

-I have to go!
-What are you doing?

-Please, let me go to the bathroom!
-Get up!

Let me go! I have to go!

That's good. Everything overboard.
That gave us an extra knot!

Police! Let me out! Police!

-Ow!
-You'll pay dearly for this.

Yes. I believe I understand. Sure, sure.

-The water might be a bit cold.
-I still have to go!

That gave us another knot!

You're a great guy.

Yes, that's great.
Throw the junk overboard!

Yes, in a way.

After all... Life is just like
one big race.

Yeah. And when you finally reach the goal,
then you've either won... Or lost.

What the hell do you mean by that?

Well, I mean...

Oh, it's too hard to explain.

Yeah, Knatten... I've seen it all.

PASSAGE - 18.5 METERS AT MEAN TIDE

You. No... no nonsense now.

-No nonsense!
-My patience is ended!

-Violence against an official!
-Nothing silly now!

-Exports, damn it!
-Exports! I'm confiscating the boat now!

-Did you see the boats there?
-You bet, and as soon as they come...

-Then it is over.
-And they're coming. Good. Good!

If everything holds,
we'll win by 50 meters or so.

Don't you see, they cheated you, boy.

That's not a convertible model.

Frankly, I could explain more,
but I haven't got the time.

Oh, Björn! Hooray! We beat those nuts.

Hooray! Hooray!

That's the one you're confiscating, right?

How's that going to work?
How much is it worth now?

345,863 crowns. And 50 öre.

That one? Oh, Christ.

Fifty meters, you said.

-I meant plus or minus 50 meters.
-But that's not what you said!

That's not a discussion for now.

Start paddling
so we don't end up in Denmark.

I should have tossed out
one more kilogram.

They're over there celebrating now.

And there's the bailiff!
How did he get there? Huh?

We should have killed him.
I'm so tired of all this.

Janne! No...

It's not that bad, driving a boat, anyway.

Finally. Finally, it's all over.

Come on, Sigge and Lena.

We'll take the train.

You can take the boat.

As long as we don't have to look at you.

Well, that's entirely up to you.

Well, this was great fun. Well done.
Very professional.

We can just forget about
everything else, right?

I mean, the wrecked boat
and the motorcycle.

They're worth about 400,000 crowns,
I would say.

-That's not a bad wage.
-You mean I'm not getting paid?

No, of course. You'll get paid.
Sure. Sure.

But you also owe us 400,000.

No, there's no use in sitting here
being miserable.

No, why would we do that?

-Let's go home and get to work.
-With what?

Rowboats! That's what we should be doing,
not messing around with this stuff.

They have much better resources.

-Mostly t-shirts and transfers.
-Sigurd!

Hello? Hello!

Is there anyone aboard this boat?
The crew? This boat?

See, what did I tell you? There's a
customer! Good morning!

-Hello.
-We have to mind our PR.

-What can I do for you?
-Can I...?

-Sure!
-Thank you.

Yes, well, I've made up my mind.

Yes, and not one day too early.
He has decided!

There's one thing I need to say.
See, I represent the Royal Norwegian Navy.

And not to mince words,
we're interested in that boat.

I see. So they're going to buy a boat?

-They're buying a boat.
-A rowboat?

It's more maritime. Makes sense.

We can put together a rowboat for
the Norwegian Navy, can't we, Sigurd?

Yes, but I'm talking about
ten thousand of them.

-Ten thousand?
-He wants ten thousand boats?

Yes, to the specifications
Sigurd and I discussed, with a big plug...

Yes, I know exactly.
I did the math on that.

Yes, good. Then maybe
we can write up a contract now?

What? Yeah. Sure!
A contract for ten thousand boats.

I don't have the papers with me,
because this is state business.

But the Ministry of Defense has
the down payment. That's the term?

-Yes.
-That's my sandwich, where's the money?

There's the money. Here's some...
Here's...

-If that's suitable.
-Yes.

Charming. Wonderful.

-How much do we owe you?
-How much?

-Yes!
-It's a little hard to say straight up.

It's about 345,863 crowns and 50 öre.

Here is 400,000 crowns.

Norwegian. You can keep the change.

I'll sign anything today.
We've got a sale on!

We're selling all of Sweden.
What do you want?

I figured we'd bought
all that was worthwhile.

Hey! I have to write out a receipt! Hey!

But they started cheating first, Mom.

What are they doing there?

ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITY
SEIZED GOODS