All language subtitles for The Righteous Gemstones S03E03 For Their Nakedness is your own Nakedness 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,428 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 2 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,638 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,851 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 4 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,644 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 5 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,063 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 6 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,316 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 7 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,360 ♪ When I laid my work by ♪ 8 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,571 ♪ I've a home in the sky ♪ 9 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:33,283 ♪ For there will come a payday someday ♪ 10 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:37,328 ♪ Where no interest comes due or notes to renew ♪ 11 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:41,332 ♪ Oh, there will come a payday someday ♪ 12 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:45,503 ♪ Here, I work every day for such bigger pay ♪ 13 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,257 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 14 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:53,386 ♪ And the title's not clear to the home I own here ♪ 15 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,849 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 16 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,476 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 17 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,686 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 18 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,815 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 19 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,233 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 20 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,569 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 21 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,947 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 22 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,373 ♪ Our wonderful Lord gives a home as reward ♪ 23 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,377 ♪ 'Cause there will come a payday someday ♪ 24 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:29,381 ♪ His work cleanly shows he'll never foreclose ♪ 25 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:33,551 ♪ He promised a payday that day ♪ 26 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:37,430 ♪ When the door opens wide with its beauty inside ♪ 27 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:41,309 ♪ Oh, what a grand payday that day ♪ 28 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:45,397 ♪ With a handshake and then, "Brother, come right on in" ♪ 29 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:49,651 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday that day ♪ 30 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,528 all: ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 31 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,738 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 32 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,450 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 33 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,285 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 34 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,663 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 35 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:05,917 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 36 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,711 Yes! 37 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,838 Baby Billy loves you now. 38 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,256 Baby Billy loves you so much. 39 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,341 It's so good to be with all y'all 40 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,385 here at Zion's Landing. 41 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:19,973 Now, come see me now, 7:00 at the Mangrove Pavilion, 42 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,099 every night. 43 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,308 You gon' love it. 44 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,649 Every night. 45 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,153 - Daddy's home. - Ugh. 46 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,405 Must be hot out there. 47 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,116 You bet your ass it's hot. 48 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,285 It's hotter than hell, if I'm being honest. 49 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,372 If we weren't staying in this fancy hotel, 50 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,124 I don't think I could do it. 51 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,877 Yeah, the commute ain't bad. 52 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,381 The rest of it's wearing thin, singing by a fucking pool. 53 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,133 It's a nice pool. 54 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,135 You're doing so well for somebody who used to be 55 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,720 a famous singer long ago. 56 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,097 What you talking 'bout, used to be famous? 57 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,807 I'm still famous. 58 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,309 Of course. 59 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977 Why do you want to play mind games? 60 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,145 Get all in my head? 61 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,190 Baby, you're being silly. 62 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,735 I'm very proud of you, and so is Lionel. 63 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,528 Aren't you, buddy? 64 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,406 Everybody that's famous knows 65 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,784 that true famous people go through different phases 66 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,577 on the Being Famous Train. 67 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,329 I'm a international-known talent. 68 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,955 I deserve a mainstay, 69 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:29,000 not singing for a bunch of basic Christian sun bums. 70 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,335 Yeah. 71 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,294 That lasts at least ten years. 72 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,714 That's what I need right there. 73 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,384 My own game show. 74 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,594 Just standing in air conditioning all day, 75 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,806 looking cool, being charming. 76 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,850 Boy, I bet they knock out 20 of them episodes a day, 77 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:46,935 printing money. 78 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,145 Bet you a game show host makes a bunch of money. 79 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,522 Yep. 80 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,524 That pretty girl that hands out prizes, 81 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,026 she makes a lot of money too, now. 82 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,028 I can hand out prizes on TV? 83 00:03:57,112 --> 00:04:00,490 Well, you the prettiest girl I know. 84 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,492 And if Lionel learns how to speak, 85 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,202 he could be our announcer. 86 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,370 And a job for our baby Aimee-Leigh Jr. 87 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,621 when she gets born. 88 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,416 If she's got talent, you bet your ass. 89 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,003 I think we just witnessed a mission from God. 90 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,381 Is that what that was? 91 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:17,590 It's time for Baby Billy to be 92 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,134 back on the motherfucking TV. 93 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:21,803 Yay! 94 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,140 ♪ Praise ♪ 95 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:32,647 ♪ Praise ♪ 96 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,400 Them feds were everywhere, jumping out from trees, 97 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,319 behind bushes, screaming and hollering. 98 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,321 So much screaming and hollering. 99 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,157 Motherfuckers got Ruby Ridged. 100 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,742 We made it to the safe house, 101 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,202 but then Pa said y'all called the feds, 102 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,079 and he accused us of helping you. 103 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,622 And don't forget about 104 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,833 cutting the tip of Jacob's ear off. 105 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,001 Chew your food. 106 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,086 God gave you teeth for a reason. 107 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,588 Yes, ma'am. 108 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,256 You sure you didn't tip off the law, Eli? 109 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,215 I could see you doing that. 110 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,800 I already told you no. 111 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,677 I never wanted nothing to do with this. 112 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,472 Well, he thinks you did, and that's all that matters, 113 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,433 so now we're on his shit list too. 114 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,601 Thanks, Mama. 115 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,354 How can you hate me more than him? 116 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,689 Blame me for everything. Everything's my fault! 117 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,317 Because everything is your fault! 118 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,152 Bringing the Gemstones into this? 119 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,779 Now look where we are. 120 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,990 In a mansion, wearing fucking bathrobes? 121 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,743 Oh, shit! 122 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,703 All right, Chuck, stop your fussing and your talking back. 123 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,704 Just come home. 124 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,623 We ain't going nowhere with you. 125 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,500 Get that through your head. 126 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,336 We'd rather be homeless bums living under a bridge. 127 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,545 We would? 128 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,756 Yes, Karl, we would. 129 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:44,177 Why? 130 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,638 May-May! 131 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,391 Where the heck you think you're going, dummy? 132 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,811 You heard 'em. Just like you, they hate me. 133 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,854 Maybe they grew up smarter than they seem. 134 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,023 Is this how you're gonna handle your boys? 135 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,316 Just walk away? 136 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,484 If I don't leave, they're going to. 137 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,985 At least here, there's guarded gates 138 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,445 between them and their father. 139 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,240 No, no, you're not sticking your boys with me. 140 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,950 No, I'm not harboring fugitives. 141 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,660 Now, I'll give 'em some walking around money 142 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,620 - and send them on their way. - No, you won't. 143 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,247 They'll get themselves killed. 144 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,998 You keep 'em here. You keep 'em safe. 145 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,250 You're their uncle. 146 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,841 Do you want me to say "please"? Fine, Eli. 147 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:27,012 Please, please keep that wicked man away from my sons. 148 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,316 She kung fu'd my larynx, Daddy. 149 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,111 My voice is God's gift, dude. 150 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,321 May-May could have ruined that forever just now. 151 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,282 Yeah, what were you thinking, Daddy? 152 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,700 You won't even help your own kids, 153 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,535 but you'll take in these bozos? 154 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:54,039 Two fucking fugitives just roaming around the compound 155 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,207 like damn free-range chickens. 156 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,251 They're not livestock, Jesse. 157 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,587 They're our family, first cousins. 158 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,048 Uh, they're fucking Montgomerys is what they are. 159 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,174 Fucking savages. 160 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,551 I have zero sympathy for that family. 161 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,719 - Zero. - Same. 162 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,304 You know what we should do, Daddy? 163 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,764 We should be all "return to sender." 164 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,932 Ship 'em right back to crazy Aunt May-May. 165 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,352 Mm-kay? Let her deal with it. Bye-bye. 166 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,687 She can't deal. That's why they're here. 167 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,731 Make your cousins feel comfortable. 168 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,233 They're family. Spend some time with 'em. 169 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,902 Gross. 170 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,612 We don't want to spend time with them creeps. 171 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,406 - Mm-mm. - You think I want 'em here? 172 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,241 I'm not asking. I'm telling. 173 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,161 Shit. One of 'em's looking. 174 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,914 Okay, I just saw one of 'em look 175 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,458 and then duck down, Haunted Mansion style. 176 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,294 Just watch. 177 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,129 - See? There they are! - Oh! 178 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,506 Fucking Montgomerys. 179 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,257 We see you! 180 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,634 Let 'em watch. 181 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,094 Yeah, fuck y'all. 182 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,307 Sit and spin, bitches. 183 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,142 Go home. Nobody likes you here. 184 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,603 That's what we think about our cousins, Daddy. 185 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,648 Yeah, we don't like them. 186 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,158 BJ. Is Judy here? 187 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,285 No, she's out. 188 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,328 What did you need? 189 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,996 I had something for her. 190 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,456 Here. 191 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,417 If she wants me to explain how to use it, I can, 192 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,793 or there's also a video included 193 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,545 that can explain it as well. 194 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,755 Is this a board game? We love games. 195 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,675 No, it is the opposite of a silly game. 196 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,553 It's The System, my at-home relationship counseling kit. 197 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,346 Counseling? 198 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,432 Did Judy ask for this? 199 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,436 No, I was just, um-- I was just dropping it by 200 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,770 in case she wanted to take a look at it, 201 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,480 'cause she didn't ask for it, 'cause she doesn't need it. 202 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,690 No one needs it. 203 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,941 There are people that need it. 204 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:48,528 But there's no specific reason why I'm bringing it by today. 205 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,864 Well, I'll make sure she gets it. 206 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,956 The System? 207 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,420 That's where they keep the cars, right? 208 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,965 Think so. 209 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,017 Where the fuck do those honkies think they're going? 210 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,020 Oh, wow. 211 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,108 These motherfuckers. 212 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,237 No way. 213 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,165 It's the Redeemer! 214 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,042 Whoo! 215 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,252 I can't believe he's still got it. 216 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,046 Oh, she's beautiful. 217 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,422 She's so pretty. 218 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,549 Oh, I want to get all up in there. 219 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,843 Get in there, big brother. Get in there. 220 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,929 - Help me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 221 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,391 Yep. 222 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,725 What's it like? What's it like? 223 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,435 It's amazing. 224 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,229 - It's fucking awesome! - Whoo! 225 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,188 Oh, my God! 226 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,690 Chuck, you were born to drive that thing. 227 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,982 What should we smash? 228 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:08,858 Everything! 229 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,198 Yeah! Whoo! 230 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,574 No, God damn it! 231 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,201 That's private property right there. 232 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,495 Get your greasy, grimy Montgomery paws off my truck! 233 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,913 Well, sorry, Jesse. 234 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,916 I mean, we just can't believe you still got it. 235 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,252 We remember you smashing and crashing stuff 236 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,628 just like it was yesterday. 237 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,588 I bet she still purrs like a kitten. 238 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,382 Don't you talk about that thing being a kitten! 239 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,050 That's my monster truck. 240 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,469 That's a five-ton wrecking machine, son. 241 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,804 Get out before you break something. 242 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,597 Take it easy, Jesse. 243 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:40,807 Take it easy? Take it easy. 244 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,561 - Got it, Chuck? - Take it easy, huh? 245 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,397 Truck just brings back some fond memories. 246 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:48,898 You ever take her out anymore? 247 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,567 Ooh, I'd love that! 248 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,901 Oh, please, Jesse? 249 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,403 I never got a chance to drive it. 250 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,321 And you never will, numb nuts. 251 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,406 Just 'cause my daddy says 252 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,824 it's cool for y'all to stay here 253 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,409 doesn't mean we're gonna be cool cousins 254 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,869 all now of a sudden. 255 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:04,831 We ain't cool cousins, and we never will be again. 256 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,334 You smell that? 257 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,585 Yeah. 258 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,253 You boys need to go shower off or wash. 259 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,339 I smelled your balls the second I rolled up 260 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,673 in this motherfucker. 261 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,550 Stink worse than my middle school locker. 262 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,636 That's my boy right there. 263 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,472 Go on and wash. 264 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,806 The little one's mean. 265 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,183 Yeah, you're damn right he's mean. 266 00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,726 That's my son. 267 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,810 I make 'em mean. 268 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,562 Mean-ass Gemstones. Damn. 269 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,981 I don't know what it was like in the little barn or manger 270 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,525 or whatever the fuck you were born in, but in this house, 271 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,945 on this compound, we respect people's private properties, 272 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,614 you greasy little animals. 273 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,491 "Porn equals Satan." 274 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,242 I like that one. 275 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:45,163 These protest signs are tops. 276 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,415 Peeps are gonna think twice, honestly. 277 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,298 - Yo. - Hey, bud. 278 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,592 Check it out, bro. 279 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,594 I wiped out almost the entire inventory 280 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,847 of bullets and butt buzzers and basically everything else 281 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,058 at the adult emporium off the highway. 282 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,894 And I know you said that it wouldn't shut 'em down, 283 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,896 but due to supply chain issues, 284 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:13,191 they won't be able to restock for a while. 285 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,735 Smart! Yes. 286 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:19,030 Dang, I am missing out on all the fun lately. 287 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,824 My cousins are in town. 288 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,076 Daddy's making me hang out with them. 289 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,912 Now I've got to go to some stupid cousins' night. 290 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:29,207 Cousins' night. Very interesting. 291 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,293 No, it's not. They are total weirdos. 292 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,546 A complete lack of knowing 293 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,922 how to fit in the world around them. 294 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,883 God, they sound awkward. 295 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,844 Shall I make my sausage dip? 296 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,722 Those inbreds aren't worthy of your sausage dip. 297 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,850 But, yeah, no, you should make it. 298 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,226 I'll put it in a special container 299 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,520 that'll keep it warm, and you can carry it with you 300 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,230 to the family event. 301 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,775 Why don't you carry it with? 302 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,610 Keefe, you have to come to cousins' night. 303 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,404 Come on, come to cousins' night. 304 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,490 I ain't a cousin, though. 305 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,867 I know you're not a cousin. 306 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,287 You're my... best dude friend 307 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,081 of a cousin. 308 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,084 Wow, never done a cousins' night before. 309 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:16,212 Maybe I'll bring some flames and the swords. 310 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,798 Yeah, totes, you should. 311 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,052 But let's keep our expects in checks. 312 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,846 My cousins are kind of diarrhea people. 313 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,686 There is nothing that we take more seriously 314 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,937 than our marriage. 315 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,856 That's why I created The System, 316 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,441 a program that you can use at home 317 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,319 to help your marriage better honor Jesus Christ. 318 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,447 Now, when I want to say something or do something 319 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,116 that would reflect poorly in the eyes of our Lord, 320 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,452 I take one of these gemstones 321 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:51,331 and I'll plop it into this vase container. 322 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,208 Now I know that Jesse is trying. 323 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,584 He almost said something hurtful, 324 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,629 but instead, he let the gemstone do the talking. 325 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:58,880 I love my wife. 326 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,299 It's so simple. It works. 327 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,968 Creating The System was a work of passion for me. 328 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,804 What the fuck are you watching in here? 329 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,805 Horror movies? 330 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,807 No, The System. 331 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,183 Amber dropped it off. 332 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,977 I guess it's something she and Jesse made and sell. 333 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,813 Good luck. 334 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,315 Couples therapy of some sort. 335 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,234 - And trust me... - Couples therapy? 336 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,777 My wife spent a lot of time... 337 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,195 No. 338 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,531 More time than I would have liked her to... 339 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,199 Bitch. 340 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,492 Yeah, at first, I was like, 341 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,369 "Wait, Amber, do you know something I don't? 342 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,829 Why do you think we need The System?" 343 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,705 Exactly. 344 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,250 This was, like, very fucking dumb of her. 345 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,543 Bitch is trying to fuck with me. 346 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:37,669 Well, how so? 347 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,338 By pulling, like, junior high mean girl shit, BJ. 348 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,215 Don't touch anything else in there, okay? 349 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,342 All this stuff's poison. It's going back. 350 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,011 Well, I don't think we should be rude. 351 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:50,682 BJ, our marriage is solid. Okay? 352 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,018 There's--there's nothing to work on here. 353 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:56,771 So fuck The System, okay? 354 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,483 And fuck Amber too! 355 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,450 Now, every episode starts out the same. 356 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,495 Old Baby Billy, he comes out like that. 357 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,039 I make me some jokes. 358 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,458 Current events. Hot styles. Nothing edgy. 359 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,294 We're gonna keep it light so we don't limit our audience. 360 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,922 And then I introduce two families. 361 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,216 I banter with them, I do some chit-chat, 362 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,052 maybe I kiss 'em on the cheek. 363 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,637 And then one by one, they compete, 364 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,599 doing trivias from the Bible. 365 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,892 Bible. 366 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,435 Sorry, buddy. 367 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,355 Hey, buddy. 368 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,522 This right here. 369 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,733 Uncle Baby Billy, isn't this just exactly the pitch 370 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,859 for "Family Feuds"? 371 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,361 Yeah, did you run this past Daddy? 372 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,196 Why I got to run this by Eli? 373 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,323 Everybody knows y'all running shit, 374 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,866 unless you ain't got purchase power 375 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,076 or you can't pull the trigger. 376 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,202 No, no, we got purchase power. 377 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,244 We can pull triggers, homie. 378 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,246 Then I suggest you pull the trigger 379 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,123 on this here hit TV series. 380 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,875 Go on, take it off the market. 381 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,710 It's exactly "Family Feuds." 382 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,087 It ain't no "Family Feud." 383 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,547 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 384 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,007 "Bible Bonkers"? 385 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,676 "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 386 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,594 - "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." - "Baby Billy's Bible"-- 387 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,054 - Bible Bonkers. - Bible-- 388 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,764 - Bunker Baby's-- - Baby Billy Bible Bonkers. 389 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,099 Yeah, roll that around in your mouth. 390 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,392 - That's fun, ain't it? - You know what? 391 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,268 I already know how I'm gonna vote on this 392 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,603 if we just want to end this meeting early. 393 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,147 Plus, I got some stuff that I got to hash out with Jesse. 394 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,399 The hell you got to hash out with me? 395 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,275 What I got to hash out with you 396 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,611 is you tattling on me to your damn Fembot. 397 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,613 Oh, come on. You're mad 'cause I told Amber 398 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,949 that you're having an affair with a man named Stephen? 399 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,117 Affair? 400 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,284 Stephen? Who the fuck is Stephen? 401 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,078 Now you done told two more people. 402 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,788 Jesse, fuck me, man! 403 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,123 He told three. 404 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,000 Lionel's here too now. He heard it. 405 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,419 Look, can we please just concentrate on my pitch? 406 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,628 Come on, now. 407 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,840 I think my executive vote is no on "Bible Bonkers." 408 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,091 I don't like it. 409 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,759 Well, that's one thing I can agree with you on, 410 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:50,719 you fucking tattletale. 411 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,304 What, you really gonna say no to this concept? 412 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,597 - Not today, Double B. - Nah, dog, this ain't it. 413 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,266 Not on our network. This is not the kind of stuff 414 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,768 - we put on our network. - Mm-mm. 415 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,478 Y'all can't even see solid gold 416 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,980 when I'm shitting it right in front of you. 417 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,857 Y'all just piss me off. 418 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,151 No wonder your fucking numbers are down. 419 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,237 You think you can ship me off to paradise, 420 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,490 make me sing by a pool all motherfucking day, 421 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:15,118 getting a suntan, drinking piña coladas for free, 422 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,453 living in a penthouse? 423 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,204 Huh? No. 424 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,165 I'm a international-known talent. 425 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,751 I deserve more than that. 426 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,712 You haven't seen the last of me. 427 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,629 I mean, you're our uncle. 428 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,173 I'm assuming we're gonna hear from you again. 429 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,675 You damn right you will. 430 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,055 Let's go. Come on, Tiff. 431 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,348 Okay. 432 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,517 I'm just gonna leave this here for y'all to study. 433 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,894 - You could take all this. - Take all that shit. 434 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,771 We don't want it. 435 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,898 Uh, you left your kid here. 436 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,317 Oh! I'm sorry, baby. 437 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,613 Bye, y'all. That was fun. 438 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,156 - Love you, Aunt Tiffany. - Love you, baby. 439 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,241 - Bye. - Bye. 440 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,787 "Your people shall be my people. 441 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:02,707 "And your God, my God. 442 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:07,379 "And where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. 443 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,382 "And may the Lord do so to me, and more also, 444 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:14,511 if anything but death parts me from you." 445 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:17,555 This week, let's think of Ruth, 446 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,392 think of the commitment that we have made 447 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,727 to the people that we love. 448 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,522 Until next time, praise He. 449 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,107 all: Praise He. 450 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,695 Thank you. 451 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,582 Hey, ladies. Thank you. 452 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:47,711 Excuse me. 453 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:50,171 Sorry to interrupt your zombie bitches prayer group, 454 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,757 but I brought something for your nosy ass. 455 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,095 Oh, my word. 456 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,139 Yeah, my word. 457 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,016 Are you fucking dumb? 458 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,018 Bringing a dang marriage counseling thing 459 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,352 to my fucking house? 460 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:07,022 I don't know what you think Jesse told you, 461 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,983 but my conscience is clean, chick. 462 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,943 This church needs a win, Judy. 463 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,111 The decline is real. 464 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,571 We need people to show up. 465 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,740 We need people to believe in us. 466 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,616 We do not need a scandal. 467 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,077 - End the affair. - Dummy, I did end it. 468 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,245 You did? 469 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:25,248 Yes, told him to fuck off. 470 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,875 I love BJ, okay? 471 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,168 I gave him some money. 472 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,586 Hopefully that'll make it kosher. 473 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,795 Well, good. 474 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,005 Then that's that. 475 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,715 That is that, so you don't ever need 476 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,008 to worry about it again. 477 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,052 - Fuck off, Amber. - Fine. 478 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,929 Fine. 479 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,056 Coming to cousins' night? 480 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,433 Duh. Daddy's making me. 481 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,356 Oh. 482 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,274 You boys got any plans tonight? 483 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,277 Yeah, the cousins invited us out for a cousins' night. 484 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,112 A cousins' night? 485 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,447 Imagine that. 486 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,948 I'm surprised they want to hang 487 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,325 the way they've been acting. 488 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,868 They don't seem to care for us at all. 489 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,913 Well, they invited y'all on a cousins' night. 490 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,164 Maybe they're trying. 491 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,499 You know, we really appreciate 492 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,668 you letting us stay here, Uncle Eli. 493 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,253 I don't know where we'd go if it weren't for here. 494 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,714 You could go live with your mama. 495 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:18,218 I know she ain't perfect, but she does love you boys. 496 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,178 Go live with Mama? 497 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,304 I don't think there's room 498 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,181 in that utility closet where she sleeps. 499 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,350 Utility closet? 500 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,852 Mama sleeps at the church. 501 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:38,363 ♪ Oh, how wonderful a poor man's life could be ♪ 502 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,865 ♪ If you want to, you can live ♪ 503 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,283 That's not hygienic. 504 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,202 There's, like, dead birds probably in there. 505 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:49,541 ♪ Take your family to church on Sunday just like me ♪ 506 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,501 ♪ Oh, how wonderful ♪ 507 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,211 You guys! Oh, nasty! 508 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,422 Don't--hey! Don't drink that water, man. 509 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:56,715 That pond is filthy. 510 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,843 Hey, dummies, that's a trout pond. 511 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,137 Nothing but stink slicks and dead trout. 512 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,389 - The water's great! - Yeah! 513 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,682 It's nice and crisp. 514 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:06,891 Come on in! 515 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,393 I feel like I'm up in the zoo right now 516 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,186 watching the gorillas get washed. 517 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,230 About to start throwing their poo at each other. 518 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,190 Oh, holy smokes. 519 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,026 What's Karl got cooking under his trunks? 520 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,069 He's got tons of hairs. 521 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,487 Looks like he got a chinchilla 522 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:20,989 stuffed up in there. 523 00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:23,616 Y'all, look, that's your family out there, okay? 524 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,035 Why don't you stop making fun of them 525 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,411 and go converse with them? 526 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,413 I don't know what to say to them weirdos. 527 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,540 Why don't you go converse with them? 528 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:32,250 Yeah, go hug them while they're wet. 529 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,255 Well, well. 530 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,923 Looks like everybody's getting loose. 531 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,301 How come you not gon' tell us about cousins' night? 532 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:42,719 Well, because y'all aren't invited. 533 00:21:42,761 --> 00:21:44,137 What the fuck are you doing here? 534 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,473 Lionel's your cousin, dummy. 535 00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,099 How you not gonna invite your first cousin 536 00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,392 to cousins' night, huh? 537 00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,853 Cousins' night is about adult cousins, dog. 538 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,731 - Ain't no babies. - Hey, Lionel's your cousin, 539 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,941 and you will damn well treat him like one. 540 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,861 I will not have baby Lionel miss out on proper cousinship 541 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,404 just 'cause he's young. 542 00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,198 Now, we gon' do cousins' night now. 543 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,783 Baby Lionel's eating dirt. 544 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,952 Huh? 545 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,580 Somebody's not gonna have any room left for barbecue. 546 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,282 Don't you have any help for that? 547 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,242 I don't rely on others. 548 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:30,827 I do things for myself. 549 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,634 Where do you live, May-May? 550 00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:49,721 Oh, the Lord takes care of me. 551 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:55,393 Do you live here? 552 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,020 I can't have you live like this. 553 00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,481 Oh, what, are you afraid of what the world will say 554 00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:01,858 if they found out Eli Gemstone lets his sister 555 00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:04,402 live in squalor? 556 00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:05,695 You never lifted a finger to help me. 557 00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,238 I ain't asking for it now. 558 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,407 Come stay. 559 00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:11,785 You should be with your boys. 560 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:14,579 Take a lot more than just time to heal those wounds. 561 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,334 I'm surprised you care about that. 562 00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:22,212 Surprised I do too. 563 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:25,757 You remember what we practiced? 564 00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:29,135 - Most of the parts. - Then let's go bonkers. 565 00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,599 So Judy tells me your lives might be in danger. 566 00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:36,768 - That's horrifying. - BJ! 567 00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:38,812 Don't be acting like I'm spilling beans. 568 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:40,271 Well, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to know 569 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:41,773 y'all are wanted dead. 570 00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:44,693 Judy and I share everything with each other. 571 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:48,947 Welcome to cousins' night! 572 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:52,283 Now, tonight, you gon' get a special treat 573 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,494 for cousins' night, because tonight, 574 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:56,871 we are gonna do a live test run 575 00:24:56,955 --> 00:24:59,791 of "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 576 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,835 No, we ain't. What the fuck is this? 577 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,629 No, Baby Billy, we ain't doing this Bonkers bullshit. 578 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,715 Come on, now, go with it. 579 00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:08,633 Now, you don't think this is a good idea for a show. 580 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,260 Well, you 'bout to see right here, 581 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:11,928 'cause tonight's show, you in. 582 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:15,098 Now let's welcome the Gemstone family 583 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,475 versus the Montgomerys. 584 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:18,935 Is this gonna be for the TV? 585 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,729 Well, if it's good, it will be, yes. 586 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,772 - Yeah. Let's, uh-- - It's not. 587 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:25,650 Here we go. Come here. Uh, you are? 588 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:28,236 - Karl. - Karl Montgomery. 589 00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,155 And--and what--what do you do? 590 00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,615 - Lawn care. - Who-what? 591 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:34,409 - Uh-- - Landscaping. 592 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:35,785 Oh, you mow grass. All right. 593 00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,328 - Yeah. - Good. Yeah. 594 00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:39,456 Who are you and what do you do? 595 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:42,000 Chuck. I just work with my brother. 596 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:44,002 All right. Uh-uh. 597 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:47,964 Now we coming to the Gemstone side of the table. 598 00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:51,134 Okay, little weirdo boy with the puffy muscles, 599 00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:52,844 who are you? 600 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:54,929 I'm Kelvin. We're not doing this, dude. 601 00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,265 Your shit sucks, Baby Billy. 602 00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:59,225 Hey, now, don't use that kind of language, Judy. 603 00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:01,978 This a family show, now. 604 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,021 You ain't family. 605 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,189 So what do you do? 606 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,192 I run the motherfucking church, stud. 607 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:09,611 Running the church and running around. 608 00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:12,947 Ooh! 609 00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,699 Ooh! 610 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,576 Uh, who are you? 611 00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:18,203 Look, when we're done with these introductions, 612 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:19,704 can we just kill it, all right? 613 00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:21,373 This isn't really an appropriate time to be 614 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,375 doing the damn holy moly show or whatever this is. 615 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:25,043 Hey, this ain't no holy moly show. 616 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:27,045 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 617 00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,422 The two first-born from each family, 618 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:30,715 y'all come up here in the middle. 619 00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:32,550 Come on, come up here in the middle. 620 00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:33,760 Come on, Jesse, let's go. You can count. 621 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,637 Baby, just go. Shut him up. 622 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,055 - Get him, big brother. - Let's go. 623 00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:38,515 Be a good sport. 624 00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:39,808 - Come on, baby. - It's so lame. 625 00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:41,351 All right, let's go. Right up here. Come on. 626 00:26:41,393 --> 00:26:42,519 Look, if I get the answers wrong, 627 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,895 it doesn't matter because this isn't 628 00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:45,313 fucking real to begin with, okay? 629 00:26:45,397 --> 00:26:47,732 Just get up there and beat his fucking ass, Jesse. 630 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:48,692 Let's go, Jesse. 631 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:50,568 You got this. 632 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,445 Hit it, Tiff. 633 00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,927 Great job, Tiff. All right. First question. Here we go now. 634 00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:17,470 - How do we buzz in? - Hey. 635 00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:18,972 Yeah, these buzzers aren't even real. 636 00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:20,724 I mean, this is stupid. What the hell are we doing? 637 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,392 Don't be saying, "What are we doing?" 638 00:27:22,434 --> 00:27:24,811 Just buzz in with your fucking mouth. 639 00:27:24,894 --> 00:27:27,313 I'm sorry, there will be no cursing on this program. 640 00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:28,857 First question, now. 641 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,236 Who got Joseph thrown into prison by lying about him? 642 00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:35,405 both: Potiphar's wife! 643 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:36,948 Potiphar's wife is correct. 644 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:39,325 Damn, we got to do a tiebreaker. 645 00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:40,827 Second question. 646 00:27:40,910 --> 00:27:44,664 Who else was in prison with Joseph? 647 00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:49,336 The Pharaoh's cupbearer and his... butler. 648 00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:50,920 - Wrong! - Mm-mm. 649 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,672 Montgomery's chance to steal. 650 00:27:52,756 --> 00:27:54,674 Fuck. That was an easy one, Jesse. 651 00:27:54,758 --> 00:27:55,800 Damn it. 652 00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:58,470 Pharaoh's cupbearer and chief baker. 653 00:27:58,553 --> 00:27:59,971 Correct. 654 00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,514 - Montgomerys have the lead. - Whoo! 655 00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:02,807 No, they don't have the lead. 656 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,267 Don't cheat, Jesse. 657 00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:06,436 I know that must be tough for you Gemstones. 658 00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:08,146 I'm not! You know what? 659 00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:09,606 The Montgomerys don't have the lead. 660 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,232 I'm not playing this game anymore. 661 00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:13,485 I don't like fucking Bible Bunkers Babies! 662 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:14,736 I'm not doing this! 663 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,988 Game over. Shut it down. 664 00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:20,033 You still the same old spoiled, sore sport 665 00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:21,785 you were when we were kids. 666 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:23,453 Hey, can you do me a favor, Chuck? 667 00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:24,829 Why don't you go fuck yourself, okay, 668 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,332 and then go find a family that actually cares about you, 669 00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:28,667 you fucking Montgomery. 670 00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:33,129 Well, I'd rather be a Montgomery than a Gemstone. 671 00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:34,839 I thought it was just your mommy and daddy 672 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:36,883 that didn't care about others, but the nuts don't fall 673 00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:38,385 too far from the tree. 674 00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:41,471 Hey, yo, you'd better watch what you say about our mama. 675 00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:43,223 Take a seat, Judy Gemstone. 676 00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,183 The menfolk are talking, and those kind of chime-ins 677 00:28:45,266 --> 00:28:46,518 are not appropriate. 678 00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:48,645 Judy, keep your earrings on, girl. 679 00:28:48,687 --> 00:28:50,397 Why is she taking them earrings off? 680 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,856 'Cause we finna fight, boy. 681 00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:53,566 Please, Judy, no, don't fight. 682 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:55,360 No, there ain't gonna be no fight. 683 00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:57,237 There's just gonna be a 187. 684 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,490 I'll cut you from fucking stem to sternum, you bitch. 685 00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:01,783 - Oh. - Come on, I'll kill you. 686 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:03,743 - Stick him, Jesse. - I got a knife too. 687 00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:06,329 - Oh, my Lord. - Y'all play too much now. 688 00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:10,041 Jesse Gemstone, you put that knife away. 689 00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,960 I'll put my knife away when he puts his knife away. 690 00:29:12,043 --> 00:29:13,336 Well, I ain't putting my knife away 691 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,671 unless he puts his knife away. 692 00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:15,630 Well, then I guess we're keeping 693 00:29:15,714 --> 00:29:18,675 the fucking knives out! 694 00:29:18,717 --> 00:29:19,926 You just gonna circle each other, 695 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:21,553 or someone's gonna do a stabbing? 696 00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:22,887 Get your--bitch. 697 00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:24,139 You big bitch. 698 00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:27,142 Oh, my God. Guys, he's choking. 699 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:28,560 No, not him. Him! 700 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,896 - Karl? - Oh. 701 00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:33,732 - Karl? - Spit it out. 702 00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,400 Come on, Karl. Come on. 703 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:36,609 Spit it out, Karl! 704 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:37,736 - Spit it out! - Hit him! 705 00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:38,778 Hit him harder! 706 00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:40,280 Karl, come on, Karl! 707 00:29:40,363 --> 00:29:42,741 - Heimlich his ass! - Lick his what? 708 00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,409 Hurry up! He can't breathe! 709 00:29:44,451 --> 00:29:46,036 - Guys, he don't look so good. - Oh, my God. 710 00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:47,370 I can't get my arms around him. 711 00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:48,246 He's too big. 712 00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,706 Jesse, bend him over the table! 713 00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:51,291 Oh! 714 00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:53,835 - Karl, don't die! - Get him! Ram him! 715 00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:56,212 - Ah! - Yes! 716 00:29:56,254 --> 00:29:58,506 Come on, he's gonna die! 717 00:29:58,590 --> 00:29:59,924 He can't breathe! 718 00:29:59,966 --> 00:30:01,134 We got to do it at the same time! 719 00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:02,719 - Okay! - On--on--on three! 720 00:30:02,761 --> 00:30:05,263 Three, two, one! 721 00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:09,434 - Karl? - BJ. 722 00:30:09,476 --> 00:30:11,561 Karl? 723 00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:13,813 Oh! 724 00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:16,816 - Are you okay? - Uh... 725 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,860 Chuck, I was so scared. 726 00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:20,528 I couldn't breathe. 727 00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:22,197 That's why we're always saying, 728 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:23,406 "Chew your food." 729 00:30:23,448 --> 00:30:25,533 - I'm sorry, Chucky. - It's okay, buddy. 730 00:30:25,575 --> 00:30:27,285 I'm sorry. I won't do it again. 731 00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:28,620 You're okay now. 732 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:48,973 Hey! 733 00:30:49,015 --> 00:30:51,476 - Cousins. - Hey. 734 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,061 Hey. 735 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:56,231 It was nice hanging out with y'all tonight, cousins. 736 00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:59,359 And--and no one thinks less of you because you choked, 737 00:30:59,442 --> 00:31:00,652 Big Karl. 738 00:31:00,735 --> 00:31:02,153 - Thanks, guys. - Where y'all going? 739 00:31:02,237 --> 00:31:03,738 Just walking back to our daddy's? 740 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:05,824 We ain't got nowhere else to go. 741 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:08,243 Well, let me give you a ride. 742 00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:12,330 Okay. 743 00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,416 Cool. 744 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:20,213 I think it's a great idea even if nobody else does. 745 00:31:20,296 --> 00:31:24,050 Oh, I appreciate the support, baby. 746 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:26,094 But they gon' buy "Bible Bonkers" now. 747 00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:29,180 There will come a payday. 748 00:31:29,222 --> 00:31:31,850 Lionel's asleep in the back. 749 00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:34,352 You think maybe I can get some ass? 750 00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,189 There's a road right up here. 751 00:31:38,231 --> 00:31:41,276 Can we get some waffles after we get some ass? 752 00:31:41,359 --> 00:31:43,445 You bet we can. 753 00:31:43,486 --> 00:31:45,196 ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 754 00:31:45,238 --> 00:31:46,614 ♪ Heaven's glory shared ♪ 755 00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:49,117 I smelled the meat that came out of your cousin. 756 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:50,994 It wasn't the sausage dip that choked him. 757 00:31:51,036 --> 00:31:53,455 It--it was poultry. 758 00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:55,081 Gross, Keefe. 759 00:31:55,165 --> 00:31:58,918 And no, I didn't think it was your sausage dip. 760 00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:02,005 That stuff's too good. 761 00:32:02,047 --> 00:32:05,216 And your fire dance was lit. 762 00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:07,635 Easily the best part of 'tis eve. 763 00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,557 You never disappoint. 764 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:14,225 Good eye tonight, Beej. 765 00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:17,645 Helped save cousin Karl's life, you dang hero. 766 00:32:17,729 --> 00:32:19,064 I'm not a hero. 767 00:32:19,105 --> 00:32:20,732 I'm an optometrist. 768 00:32:20,774 --> 00:32:22,317 We see everything. 769 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,819 Okay. 770 00:32:24,903 --> 00:32:26,905 - Come here. - Oh. 771 00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:27,989 ♪ Getting a hug ♪ 772 00:32:28,073 --> 00:32:30,241 both: ♪ From my beautiful wife ♪ 773 00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:35,580 ♪ We're gonna be having hot sex tonight ♪ 774 00:32:35,622 --> 00:32:38,208 Oh, this feels so good. 775 00:32:44,464 --> 00:32:46,049 ♪ Listen to the songs of the fathers ♪ 776 00:32:46,091 --> 00:32:47,592 ♪ And the mothers and the many friends ♪ 777 00:32:47,634 --> 00:32:50,053 ♪ Gone on before, turn the radio on ♪ 778 00:32:50,095 --> 00:32:52,097 - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 779 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,390 ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 780 00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:55,558 ♪ Some eternal morning, we shall meet them ♪ 781 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,936 ♪ Over on the hallelujah shore ♪ 782 00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,354 Yeah, get that spot over there. 783 00:32:59,437 --> 00:33:01,064 - Yes, ma'am - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 784 00:33:01,106 --> 00:33:04,317 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 785 00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:06,444 ♪ And listen to the music in the air ♪ 786 00:33:06,528 --> 00:33:08,613 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 787 00:33:19,290 --> 00:33:21,960 ♪ Turn your radio ♪ 788 00:33:22,043 --> 00:33:25,547 ♪ On ♪ 56409

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