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1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,720
THEY GASP
2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,280
Don't I look sexy?
3
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,080
The woman on the counter did it
for free.
4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,200
All I had to do was buy all
the products.
5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,640
Come on, love, go and put something
nice on.
6
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,800
Go and put on that dress that
I looked out for you.
7
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,400
Check her legs.
8
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:22,800
THEY GASP
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,920
Pin her down! Stop writhing!
10
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,400
Leave me alone! It's my body!
11
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,280
I should be able to grow my hair
how I like!
12
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,640
Stop being so selfish,
for fuck's sake!
13
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,280
It's your nan's funeral.
14
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,520
I am genuinely worried it's a bit
too harsh, do you know what I mean?
15
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,160
I just want to let him have it,
though. Tell him how I feel.
16
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,800
Which is?
17
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,640
Not good.
18
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,760
Did you write that down?
19
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,440
Hi, Dad, hope you're well.
20
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,720
Actually, no, I don't.
21
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,000
It's Josie. Remember me?
22
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,400
It might help to remind him
if you say you're the ugly one.
23
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,920
Excited to see Dad, then?
24
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,960
You know that dream that you get
when your parents
walk in on you having sex?
25
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,160
Yeah?
26
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,320
I look forward to having that
so I can see Dad again.
27
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,360
Sometimes I invite him
to stay and watch.
28
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,800
I know. This is the happiest
day of your life.
29
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,000
Not entirely. Nicky's leaving
to open his ice bar in
Manchester today.
30
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,400
What? Billie Bar? Yeah.
31
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,520
He asked me to go with him,
can you believe it?
32
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,880
It would be completely ridiculous
to go, right?
33
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,600
Unless you think I should do it?
34
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,760
No, I don't think you should do it.
35
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,920
Yeah, I was never going to go.
36
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,520
I've seen the truth.
37
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,280
Nan dying has taught me
a big lesson.
38
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,840
Life is futile and we should
probably just get it over with? No.
39
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,880
Men always come crawling back.
40
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,200
Do they?
41
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,400
Yeah, well, just look at Dad.
42
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,200
Ten years ago, he fucked
off for teabags and, lo and behold,
43
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,440
now we're going to see him.
44
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,800
Hmm.
45
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,920
So I just need to let Nicky go,
realise the grass isn't greener,
46
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,880
and then he's going to come
crawling back,
47
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,520
just like Dad.
48
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,880
Why aren't you wearing your ring?
49
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,320
The patriarchy?
50
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,520
No, no way, I'm not...
I'm not falling for that again.
51
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,320
It's not the patriarchy, it's just
a ring that you have to wear
52
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,320
that says you're mine
forever and ever.
53
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,040
I think it's best if I come today.
54
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,640
Give you some support
as your fiance and...
55
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,840
And you know about my
abandonment issues.
56
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,000
It's just it's family only.
57
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,560
I am family.
58
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,240
Wow, did you shave your legs?
59
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,520
My nan is dead, Seb!
60
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,480
God!
61
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,480
DOOR SLAMS
62
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,720
CAR HORN TOOTS
63
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,680
Oh, Billie, you look so feminine.
64
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,120
I really wish you'd have more
respect for the dead, Josie.
65
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,840
You know, I can't believe your car's
still at the MOT, Deb.
66
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,680
Still the problem with the wheels?
67
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,320
Er...yes. Yeah.
68
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,800
What is the issue?
69
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,800
Um... Uh...
70
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,160
They've exploded. Ah.
71
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,400
Bye, darling! Josie loves you!
72
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,440
Perhaps I could just pop in?
73
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,000
You just wouldn't like it.
74
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,720
It's a closed funeral,
very intimate.
75
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,520
Blood relatives only.
76
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,000
Right.
77
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,920
She's your mother-in-law. Yeah.
78
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,000
I just think it's best
if you weren't there, OK?
79
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,160
It's been hard for the girls,
what with all they've gone through.
80
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,880
Death is difficult for us.
81
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,360
I thought you of all people would
understand that.
82
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,080
I'm sorry, how selfish of me.
83
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,760
You're just looking
out for the girls.
84
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,000
I did wonder, actually,
85
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,800
if you all fancied joining me for
lunch at my house later?
86
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,440
A little wake, of sorts.
87
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,920
It really helped after
Lisa's funeral. We'd love to.
88
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,360
Right. Well, I'll just be in the pub
round the corner, then.
89
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,240
Oh, and, Deb, will you let me know
when this is finished?
90
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,480
There's something else
I'd like to do today.
91
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,080
WHISPERS: Just us.
92
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,240
Sounds delightful.
93
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,120
If that's OK with the girls.
94
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,600
You're such a good mother, Deb.
95
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,440
I am a good mother.
96
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,520
Why can't he come to the funeral?
97
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,160
You know exactly why.
98
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,240
Because Dev and I have a connection
over both of us being bereaved,
99
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:52,360
and it would be nice if you didn't
try to ruin that by pointing out the
fact that it's built on lies.
100
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,480
Your dad is dead and that is the
last I will hear of it.
101
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,680
But he's not.
102
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,600
He's alive, he's in there.
103
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,840
I can't see him yet.
104
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,120
Wow. So she's definitely dead, then?
105
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,000
Were you suspicious?
106
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,120
I don't know.
107
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,160
I thought Dad might have set this
whole thing up so he could
see me again.
108
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,760
You think he staged Nan's death
to get to see you?
109
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,720
People do strange things for love.
110
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,920
Do you not think if he really
wanted to see you, he'd have texted?
111
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,000
Right, let's get in there
and show him how well we are doing.
112
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,720
If anybody asks, I am an incredible
mother and successful businesswoman
113
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,320
with absolutely no debt.
114
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,120
Josie is happy and engaged,
115
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,680
to a man with absolutely no mental
health issues,
116
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:35,800
and Billie...
117
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,400
Billie's a virgin.
118
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,680
Nice.
I'll lead with the Josie thing.
119
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,960
Bride to be.
120
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,760
Right, showtime!
121
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,520
SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS
122
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,760
Do you think there's space for me
in there too?
123
00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,080
If you're going to kill yourself,
at least have the decency to
do it tomorrow.
124
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,320
It's hard to appear to be thriving
while you're threatening suicide.
125
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,640
So, is Nan in Heaven? I don't know.
126
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,000
Are we going to Heaven?
127
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,480
Probably not, no point,
we won't know anyone.
128
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,000
Where the fuck is he?
129
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,520
Well, I think that's everyone.
130
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,880
Thank you for gathering here to
remember...
131
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,320
DEEP VOICE: Where's Spencer?
132
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,640
Er, unfortunately,
he couldn't be here today.
133
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,080
What? What?
134
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,080
Did...did...?
Did you want to say a few words?
135
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,280
Oh.
136
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,720
Er...
137
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,760
..nah.
138
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,160
Forgot my vintage Cartier bangle.
139
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,520
Oh!
140
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,240
SHE GIGGLES
141
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,640
Yes, Mr Sugar, I will make that 4pm
meeting.
142
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,120
What a prick. Who doesn't come
to their own mother's funeral?
143
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,120
I know,
we shaved my legs for nothing.
144
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,520
Do you think Mum's OK?
145
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,080
She'll deal with it in her own way.
146
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,480
Complete denial.
147
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,440
Where are you going? I was wrong.
148
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,120
Men don't come crawling back.
149
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,760
We have to crawl to them.
150
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,040
What?
151
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,720
I'm going to find Nicky.
152
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,960
Ooh,
lunch for the girls at Dev's house!
153
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,600
We'll be living there next.
154
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,160
I wonder what else he's
got in mind for me today?
155
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,000
Maybe he'll propose!
156
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,960
This is where Lisa was laid to rest.
157
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,640
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
158
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,440
I know you have trouble getting over
the death of your husband.
159
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:31,760
I struggle too,
160
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,960
but by bringing you here,
161
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,760
I know that Lisa is at peace
with me moving on.
162
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,200
Lisa, I want you to meet Deb.
163
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,160
She's wonderful, just like you.
164
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,120
It's all right.
165
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,680
I feel emotional too.
166
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,800
She's younger than me.
167
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,200
Missed you.
168
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,240
How did your speech go?
169
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,640
He wasn't even there.
170
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,080
I don't know why I'm surprised.
All men let us down.
171
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,520
Well, I'm still here.
172
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,200
Why...why don't you say it to me?
Pretend I'm him.
173
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,520
Tell me how you feel.
Oh, I don't know.
174
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,800
I don't know how I'd say it,
it feels stupid.
175
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,120
It's not stupid.
He wasn't nice to you.
176
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,320
He wasn't, was he? No.
177
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,360
You've had one of the worst
childhoods I've ever heard about.
178
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,360
Really? Yeah.
179
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,960
It was really traumatic for you.
180
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,600
It was, wasn't it?
181
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,880
Yeah.
182
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,720
Does that make me...
183
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,240
..special?
184
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,520
Yeah.
185
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,760
Very special.
186
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,680
DOOR BELL RINGS
187
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,400
Look at this massive house.
188
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,880
Dev's a fresh start.
189
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,600
He represents the new, none of that
old baggage from the past.
190
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,160
That's why I love him.
191
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,840
Where did he take you today?
192
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,480
His dead wife's grave.
193
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,360
Heated floors.
194
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,720
Wow.
195
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,640
I kept some of Lisa's things,
196
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,360
I didn't know what to do with them.
197
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,520
Mm. I'd feel the same
way about Josie.
198
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,600
Except I won't have to cos...
199
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,080
..when she dies,
200
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,000
I'll make sure I kill myself.
201
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,640
Hmm.
202
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,720
I'm going to check on my tagine.
203
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,320
Come along, Seb.
204
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,280
Look at all these fancy products.
205
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,080
I always think they'd be so
delicious, but I know you're not
supposed to eat them.
206
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,120
Wow!
207
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,160
The things I'd do to you.
208
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,960
You look different, Seb.
209
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,320
I've done it.
210
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,680
What?
211
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,560
It. I've done it, me and Josie.
212
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,000
And you know what?
213
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,840
I think we're going to do it again.
214
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,000
Oh, that's fantastic news!
215
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,960
Do you see what I mean?
216
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,720
We show these women no fear.
217
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,080
PLATES RATTLE
218
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,120
Are you all right?
I just, er, feel a bit nervous
219
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,800
about having the girls round.
220
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,160
But Deb's just been
so good at helping me move on.
221
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,200
Ooh, look at me, I'm Lisa.
222
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,120
I wear North Face jackets
and I go outside!
223
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,640
Ooh, I'm Lisa and I'm dead!
224
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,360
Good one, Mum.
225
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,720
What a treat this all is!
226
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,080
It is an honour to be here.
227
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,720
And can I just say,
this coo-coo is delicious.
228
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,440
Orange juice is a bit strong.
229
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,800
It's so wonderful having
you all here.
230
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,080
This house can get
so lonely sometimes.
231
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,840
There's something
I want to ask you, Deb.
232
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,640
But I really want Billie to be here.
233
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,720
Is she going to be here soon?
She's on her way. Hmm.
234
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,040
How was she after the funeral?
235
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,560
I know she had a tough time
after her father.
236
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,040
She's fine.
237
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,800
I'm so proud of her.
238
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,560
She's done such a good
job of moving on after Nicky.
239
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,680
Look at us girls.
240
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,840
Such strong, independent women.
241
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,280
You are strong, independent women,
242
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,120
and this one's mine.
243
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,200
Forever and ever.
244
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,280
Till death do us part.
245
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,480
I'm sorry you had to see this.
246
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,920
I swear to God, Josie.
247
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,640
Don't fuck this up for me.
248
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,040
Where the fuck is your sister?
249
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,960
Probably halfway to Manchester now.
250
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,880
You what?
She wants to be with Nicky.
251
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,240
She wants to hand out topless
shots at Billie Bar.
252
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,360
She's a romantic. Nicky couldn't
give a shit whether she lives
or dies.
253
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,760
People do strange things for love.
Yeah, not me.
254
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:34,080
You told the man downstairs that Dad
died choking on a chicken goujon.
255
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,320
That's different.
Dev's coming through for me.
256
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,600
He's like a 2p machine
on Brighton Pier.
257
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,760
If I keep putting in coins,
he's going to pay out, I know it.
258
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,120
Really?
259
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,960
Cos I don't think he's
paid for a single thing, not once.
260
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,840
Josie, look where we are.
261
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,800
We are in the massive house.
262
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,400
We are so close now.
263
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,200
He's about to ask us to move in.
264
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,080
He's got heated floors.
265
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,040
But what about Billie?
What about her?
She can make her own choices.
266
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,720
She's not my responsibility.
267
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,600
Is she all right up there?
Absolutely.
268
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,240
Just a runny tummy.
269
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,240
You're such a good mother, Deb.
270
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,920
That's what I love about you,
271
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,160
always there for your girls,
whenever they need you.
272
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,840
A mother,
273
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,600
alongside them
every step of the journey.
274
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,360
Road trip!
275
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,400
Quite thrilling, isn't it!
276
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,400
You know, the last time I was
in Manchester it was with Lis...
277
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,880
Never mind.
278
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,640
It's all very exciting.
279
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,360
My James Bond.
280
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,000
TROLLEY BAG WHEELS RUMBLE
281
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,240
Billie Bar?
282
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,360
Bianca Bar.
283
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,520
Sorry.
284
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,760
You know I get
nose bleeds when I get carsick.
285
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,040
I'm dangerously anaemic.
286
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,440
A single journey like this
could end me.
287
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,120
But, you know,
anything for my future wife.
288
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,840
PHONE RINGS
289
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,400
Hello? She's answered! Billie,
we know you're in Manchester.
290
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,160
We're coming to stop you making the
biggest mistake of your life.
291
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,000
Yeah, and it was my idea.
292
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,600
What?
293
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,600
Oh, no, I didn't leave.
294
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,200
Right, I've got to go. I'll talk to
you later, I'm a bit busy.
295
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,880
Of course she didn't really go.
296
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,200
This is your fault, Josie.
297
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,200
What a waste of poor Dev's
lovely lunch.
298
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,720
What was that question you were
going to ask me, Dev?
299
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,480
Is now a good moment?
300
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,920
Oh. Er, OK.
301
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,200
Well,
302
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:28,160
erm, it would mean an awful lot to
me if, um, you
303
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,880
and...and the girls,
304
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,280
would consider...
305
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,120
It's OK, you can say it.
306
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:41,080
Well, Deb, will you...
307
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,200
..take me to Spencer's grave?
308
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,160
Yes,
309
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,480
of course.
310
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,600
I will take you to his grave.
311
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,440
I'd love that.
312
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,200
Ah, OK, well, um,
313
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,080
I'll go and fill her up, then.
314
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,320
I'll get my card.
No, no, no, don't worry.
315
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,800
I'll get this.
316
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,120
We're the same, you and me.
317
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,960
Both natural blondes.
318
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,560
Fuck this! Let's go and tell that
prick exactly how we feel about him.
319
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,960
Perfect Pussy Club.
320
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,640
Perfect Pussy Club.
321
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,480
And he's going in.
322
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,320
And he's walking to the till.
323
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,480
He's getting his wallet out,
324
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,800
he's removing his card.
325
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,640
And...he's paid!
326
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,520
CAR ALARM SOUNDS
327
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,920
I know it feels small, but that man
in there is paying for petrol
328
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,920
and at this point, he might as well
be cutting me a fucking key!
329
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,400
Congratulations.
330
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,680
Please don't make me marry Seb.
331
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,120
I'm not making you do anything.
332
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,840
All I've ever wanted
is for you to be happy.
333
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,320
But the kind of happiness you
want doesn't exist,
334
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,280
so why don't you do the right thing
and love with less of your heart?
335
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,840
Trust me.
336
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,720
When you're married, you'll be
the happiest you've ever felt.
337
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,160
Really? Yes, absolutely.
338
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,480
Is that how you felt about Dad,
then?
339
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,680
Where the fuck am I going to find
a grave with your father's
fucking name on?
340
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,680
There he is.
341
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,520
The love of your life.
342
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,680
We need to go.
343
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,400
Right now.
344
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,080
But Seb's not back in the car yet!
345
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,000
Do you really want me
to be happy, Mum?
346
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,560
Of course.
347
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,200
Then drive.
348
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,320
All right, Dev, let's go.
349
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,800
Josie?!
350
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,280
For God's sake, Seb, she's gay!
351
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,360
Wait. JOSIE: I am?
352
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,120
Yes. You're gay.
353
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,440
I mean, I prefer queer as it
encompasses my gender...
354
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,880
Don't push it! You're gay.
355
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,040
For now.
356
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,520
Threesome?
357
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,400
No, Nicky.
358
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,880
Actually, we're here to tell you
some home truths.
359
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,680
We're sick of being
treated like this.
360
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,240
Yeah, you've led us both on.
361
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,000
We're done. You lied.
362
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,840
You cheated. You're a narcissist.
363
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,320
You treated us the exact same.
364
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,600
And do you know what?
You can have this necklace back.
365
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,680
What? And these.
366
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,240
Don't want them.
367
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,600
You can have them back too.
I'll have them.
368
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,160
And I've deleted all
the photos from Italy.
369
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,520
We're leaving you.
370
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,040
Fuck you, Nicky.
371
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,600
Yeah.
372
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,400
Fuck you, Italy.
373
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,400
I can't believe Dad didn't come.
374
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,640
I know.
375
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,640
I really expected
more from a man who said
376
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,880
he was popping out for teabags ten
years ago and never came back.
377
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,960
I knew it, really...
378
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,480
..about Nicky.
379
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,800
Yeah.
380
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,280
Do other women do what
we do for love?
381
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,240
Yep. And if they say they don't,
they're lying.
382
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,840
He never loved me really, did he?
383
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,360
Sorry, do you mean Nicky or Dad?
384
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,240
I'm not sure.
385
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,800
THEY LAUGH
386
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,200
I thought you said his name
was Spencer.
387
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,360
Yeah, but everyone called him
Clarence.
388
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,760
Fun little nickname.
389
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,720
An old soul.
390
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,080
He was 87 when he passed away.
391
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,560
Yeah. Young at heart.
Young at heart, though.
392
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,720
Love knows no age, Dev.
393
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,240
Well, er, Clarence-Spencer-Dad,
394
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,720
thank you for the many,
many memories that we have.
395
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,200
I hope I have your blessing to
move on to this incredible man.
396
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,080
He goes above and beyond.
397
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,920
He paid for petrol, he...
398
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,800
He's just lovely.
399
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:14,440
Oh! Oh, I think he's, er...
I think he's speaking to me.
400
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,760
Yes, it's almost like he's saying...
401
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,400
"You have my blessing." How sweet!
402
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,680
Would either of you like to
say a few words?
403
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,240
Actually, yeah, I...
404
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,400
I fucking do. He's fucking dead.
405
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,440
Yes, isn't he, Billie? Good girl.
406
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,760
You were a right fucking prick
and I'm glad you're dead,
407
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,240
you fucking freak.
408
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,920
Wherever you are,
I hope you never fucking come back!
409
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,640
Sorry.
410
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,840
We all grieve in different ways.
411
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,880
You're such a good mother, Deb.
412
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,720
Right, well, now I've got
Clarence's blessing,
413
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,360
shall we head back to yours, Dev?
414
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,120
I think I might need a little
bit more time.
415
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,200
And, speaking of which, I just
wanted to let you know,
416
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,800
there's absolutely no rush on
anything but, erm...
417
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,320
..when you're ready,
418
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,120
perhaps you would just transfer me
that £30 for petrol.
419
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,080
Go on, what do you want to
say to him, then?
420
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,120
You're the artist,
I bet it's really good.
421
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,760
Couldn't have put it better myself.
422
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,160
Bye.
423
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,720
I hope it was worth it.
424
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,440
TV PLAYS
425
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,200
I forgot to ask,
how was the funeral?
426
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,240
It was a lovely ceremony.
427
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,800
Was it?
428
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,480
STERNLY: It was a lovely ceremony.
429
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,800
Vino?
430
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,280
How was the pub?
431
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,600
Oh, it was OK.
432
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,120
I met a really interesting
man in there.
433
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,920
He was too scared to
go into the church.
434
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,160
Imagine that?
435
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,640
Going to a funeral,
getting all the way to the doors,
436
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,240
and being afraid to go inside?!
437
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,600
Did he say why?
438
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,200
Yeah. He was scared
of seeing his kids.
439
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,000
LAUGHS BREATHILY
440
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,680
People are odd, aren't they?
441
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,520
I'm going to see if your mum needs
a hand in the kitchen.
442
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,080
He was scared of us.
443
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,120
Yeah.
444
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,280
Are we scary?
445
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,360
I think we might be a bit, yeah.
446
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,360
Good.
447
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,400
BANG ON WINDOW, SHE GASPS
448
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,880
Oh, yeah.
49953
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