Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,539
www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:01,541 --> 00:00:06,880
♪ I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need... ♪
3
00:00:06,884 --> 00:00:10,363
TANNOY: Stacey Shipman,
telephone call.
4
00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:13,006
Telephone call for Stacey Shipman.
5
00:00:14,409 --> 00:00:16,168
Hello? Gav? Hiya!
6
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:18,849
Oh, my God, what did they say?
Were they nice? D'you think you got it?
7
00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:21,370
Which of those do you want me
to answer first?
8
00:00:21,373 --> 00:00:24,212
The last one.
D'you think you got it? Yeah, I do.
9
00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:28,014
Why? Well, 'cos at the end of the
interview, they offered me the job!
10
00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,696
Ahhhhhhhh!
11
00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,577
They want me to start January 5th.
12
00:00:31,579 --> 00:00:36,098
Oh, my God! Right. Well, you're
gonna have to go and talk to Ness. Get it over with.
13
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:39,182
I'm going straight there. She's on
the island? You can't miss her.
14
00:00:56,084 --> 00:00:58,723
All right, calm it down, all right?
15
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,285
Gav!
16
00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:07,006
All right, Dave? Oh, I'm not being
funny but don't call me Dave in front of the punters, all right?
17
00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:09,650
It's Rudolph. Sorry. None taken.
18
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:13,172
So what's going on?
I thought we were coming to you.
19
00:01:13,175 --> 00:01:16,174
Yeah. You are, it's just...
Bear with me, Gav. Oh. Emlyn.
20
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,697
In you go.
21
00:01:19,939 --> 00:01:24,018
Sorry, you were saying? I'm in a bit
of a rush. I need a word with Nessa.
22
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:26,660
She's working - it's a busy
time of year, you know.
23
00:01:26,663 --> 00:01:28,822
I literally need two minutes
with her.
24
00:01:28,824 --> 00:01:31,623
OK but you're gonna have to queue.
And it's two quid.
25
00:01:31,626 --> 00:01:35,105
Dave, I just... But you will get
a gift. I don't really want a gift.
26
00:01:35,108 --> 00:01:37,027
I don't think anyone does, Gav.
27
00:01:37,029 --> 00:01:41,188
They're not much cop if
truth be told and we've had a lot of complaints. I tell you what,
28
00:01:41,192 --> 00:01:44,551
I'll let you in for a pound
if you're leaving the gift.
29
00:01:44,554 --> 00:01:46,074
Right. Cheers.
30
00:01:56,161 --> 00:01:59,680
Oh, my Christ.
Hiya! Get out! Get out!
31
00:01:59,683 --> 00:02:03,002
What?
Turn around, do not come in, Mick.
32
00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:05,244
Look, I just want to get
to the kitchen!
33
00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:08,806
Well, do not look anywhere
in my direction.
34
00:02:08,809 --> 00:02:10,728
Michael, I mean it!
35
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,529
I won't look at what you're wrapping.
How do you know I'm wrapping?!
36
00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:17,451
Turn around. You'll ruin it.
I don't want to ruin it.
37
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:20,133
I want the surprise.
I'm looking forward to it.
38
00:02:20,136 --> 00:02:22,535
Well, stop trying to ruin it then!
39
00:02:22,537 --> 00:02:24,137
Right, you can look now.
40
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,619
I thought we were only having
little presents this year anyway?
41
00:02:29,622 --> 00:02:31,301
I know and I've done you a stocking.
42
00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:34,702
But when I saw this I just had to
get it 'cos I fell in love with it.
43
00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,464
Just like you fell in love with me.
44
00:02:36,466 --> 00:02:41,105
Oh no, I fell in love with it
much more than you.
45
00:02:41,109 --> 00:02:43,468
Come here!
46
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:45,469
Now, have a look at this little lady.
47
00:02:45,471 --> 00:02:49,910
Bootiful, that is. Bootiful.
48
00:02:49,914 --> 00:02:52,553
This is a Norfolk Kerry Bronze, Pam.
49
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:55,315
Hand-reared, free range.
It's better than organic.
50
00:02:55,318 --> 00:02:57,957
Every year, this love affair
with the bloody bird.
51
00:02:57,959 --> 00:03:00,878
What I'm saying is, it died
happy and it's gonna taste
52
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:03,400
all the better for it.
Shame you can't have any.
53
00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:06,522
Well, no, because I've thought
this through. What do you mean?
54
00:03:06,524 --> 00:03:08,283
I'm having the turkey.
55
00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,445
But they all think
you're a vegetarian.
56
00:03:10,447 --> 00:03:17,486
I know but I've decided there's no
way I'm doing Christmas without my Michael's turkey. No way, blase.
57
00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:20,610
So, I'm just gonna plate myself up,
sit down and tuck in.
58
00:03:20,613 --> 00:03:23,532
And I'm having stuffing,
pigs in blankets, the lot.
59
00:03:23,535 --> 00:03:29,094
And when the inevitable questions
come, which they will, Michael, I shall simply say, I'm sorry,
60
00:03:29,098 --> 00:03:32,097
it's Christmas,
please let me eat my dinner in peace
61
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:36,260
the way Jesus would have
wanted me to, on his birthday.
62
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:41,024
Oi, Gav, get in the grotto. Oh.
63
00:03:43,507 --> 00:03:46,186
Cheers, Dave... Rudolph. Rudolph.
64
00:03:46,189 --> 00:03:50,028
Bear with me Gav, I'm working.
65
00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:53,990
O. O. O. Merry Christmas.
66
00:03:53,994 --> 00:03:55,993
Did you send me a letter? Yes.
67
00:03:55,995 --> 00:03:59,714
That's right, I remember.
What was it you asked me for again?
68
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:04,636
An Xbox. That's right, I remember.
Now you're Sue's boy, is that right?
69
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,399
And Tony's your step? Yes.
70
00:04:07,402 --> 00:04:09,561
Nasty business, all that.
71
00:04:09,563 --> 00:04:12,682
Your dad's due for parole?
Will he be out for Christmas? No.
72
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,164
No. Probably for the best.
73
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:17,445
Given the amount of people
that eventually came forward.
74
00:04:17,448 --> 00:04:22,247
Now, I don't want to disappoint
you but I reckon the Xbox is a bit pie in the sky, like.
75
00:04:22,251 --> 00:04:25,090
You'd be better off lowering
your expectations.
76
00:04:25,093 --> 00:04:28,852
I'm thinking Sega Mega Drive,
maybe a PlayStation 1.
77
00:04:28,855 --> 00:04:31,454
But when you opens it,
try and looked surprised.
78
00:04:31,457 --> 00:04:36,576
Cos your mother's been through
enough this year without you sulking all over the shop.
79
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:40,620
Now, here's a gift
from me and Rudolph. Be on your way.
80
00:04:42,223 --> 00:04:44,382
All right, Gav, what's appertaining?
81
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,584
Oh, Rudolph. How's the boy?
82
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,546
Neil? Yeah. He's fine, Father.
83
00:04:50,548 --> 00:04:52,068
Crackin'.
84
00:04:55,071 --> 00:04:56,990
No, thanks. Look, what it is...
85
00:04:56,992 --> 00:05:00,071
Oh, Gav. I'm not being funny,
you've gotta sit on the knee.
86
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:01,873
It's the rules. What?
87
00:05:01,875 --> 00:05:04,635
Don't worry, I've been checked.
I'm not on the register.
88
00:05:11,922 --> 00:05:13,521
Look, it's a bit delicate.
89
00:05:13,523 --> 00:05:15,522
Go for it.
90
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,843
I've been offered a job. In Cardiff.
Tidy.
91
00:05:18,846 --> 00:05:23,285
It's with the same company
and it's only for six months... Well, I say same company...
92
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:26,528
Oh, Gav, spare me the details,
where to you going with this? Well,
93
00:05:26,531 --> 00:05:29,610
I hope you won't take this
the wrong way but we were wondering
94
00:05:29,612 --> 00:05:32,411
how you'd feel about letting
Stace have her room back?
95
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:36,853
It's just we don't know how it's
gonna work out and there's no point us getting a place...
96
00:05:36,857 --> 00:05:39,777
Leave it with me.
WHISTLES PATHETICALLY
97
00:05:45,062 --> 00:05:46,702
FAILED WHISTLE
98
00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:54,024
AND ANOTHER
Oh, Rudolph!
99
00:05:54,027 --> 00:05:55,706
Father?
100
00:05:55,708 --> 00:05:59,547
Can me and Neil move in the caravan
with you? Gav's got a job.
101
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:02,950
He needs the room at Gwen's.
Sure thing, sugar tits.
102
00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:06,512
Done and dusted, kippers
and custard. Now, I gotta get on.
103
00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:12,114
Here's your gift. Actually, Ness,
he's not eligible for the gift. He only paid a pound. Right.
104
00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:16,518
We'll see you tonight down Essex.
You coming with us on the bus?
105
00:06:16,521 --> 00:06:19,800
Nah, I've got the car. I gotta get
back cos there's wrapping to do...
106
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:23,042
Oh, Gav. It's not all about you
and I got other kids to see.
107
00:06:23,045 --> 00:06:26,404
Now be on your way. Yeah.
108
00:06:26,407 --> 00:06:27,927
Sorry.
109
00:06:34,092 --> 00:06:35,732
♪ It's Christmas time
110
00:06:38,255 --> 00:06:40,535
♪ There's no need to be afraid
111
00:06:42,457 --> 00:06:45,216
♪ At Christmas time
112
00:06:45,219 --> 00:06:49,579
♪ We let in light
And we banish shade
113
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:55,342
♪ But in our world of plenty... ♪
114
00:06:55,345 --> 00:06:56,864
Oh, come on, dickhead!
115
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,985
♪ ..smile of joy
116
00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:02,946
♪ Throw your arms... ♪
Oh, just go, mate!
117
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,909
♪ ..at Christmas time... ♪
118
00:07:04,911 --> 00:07:07,830
HONKS HORN
119
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:14,832
♪ But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones... ♪
120
00:07:14,837 --> 00:07:16,476
MOBILE RINGS
121
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,757
♪ At Christmas time
122
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,519
♪ It's hard but when
you're having fun... ♪
123
00:07:22,522 --> 00:07:24,401
Gavelar!
124
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:29,642
♪ There's a world
outside your window... ♪
125
00:07:29,646 --> 00:07:32,445
Come on, sing it!
# A world of dread and fear...
126
00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:33,807
Yes!
127
00:07:33,809 --> 00:07:37,648
♪ Where the only water... flowing...
128
00:07:37,651 --> 00:07:39,170
♪ Is the bitter sting...
129
00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:41,131
♪ ..of tears
130
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:45,572
♪ And the Christmas bells
that ring there
131
00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:47,855
♪ Are the clanging chimes of...
132
00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:52,816
♪ Doom, it's doom
Well tonight, thank God it's them...
133
00:07:52,821 --> 00:07:55,580
♪ Instead of you... ♪
134
00:07:55,582 --> 00:07:59,381
Oh, my God! That is a great song.
A modern Christmas classic.
135
00:07:59,385 --> 00:08:03,104
Geldof at his best. Don't forget
Majure. Always gets overlooked.
136
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:07,426
Do you mean Midge Ure? That's what
I said, Majure. It's not one word. It's two. Midge Ure.
137
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:10,709
Is it? I thought it was Majure.
Like majure cheddar.
138
00:08:10,712 --> 00:08:13,791
Look, anyway,
why have you left me six messages?
139
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:17,472
SHOUTS: Because it's Christmas!
140
00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:19,555
How's the shopping going?
141
00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:21,756
I ain't started. I overslept.
142
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:24,557
Who've you got to get for.
Everyone I know. Where are you?
143
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,559
Erm, I'm just leaving work.
144
00:08:27,562 --> 00:08:30,361
Are you? I'm just around the corner.
I'll come and meet you.
145
00:08:30,364 --> 00:08:33,163
No, no, no, it's OK.
You've got your shopping to do.
146
00:08:33,165 --> 00:08:35,284
You can help me. I've got time -
two hours.
147
00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:39,646
Well, you can't come here anyway.
Why? What's going on? Nothing.
148
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:43,888
Er, I've got your present in the car.
What you got me? I'm not saying.
149
00:08:43,892 --> 00:08:46,931
Oh, go on, I'll still act surprised
in front of Stacey. No!
150
00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:49,013
Is it clothes? No. Can I eat it?
151
00:08:49,015 --> 00:08:51,054
No. I know what it is. What?
152
00:08:51,056 --> 00:08:54,015
I'm not saying. Go on, say.
No, you have to guess. What?
153
00:08:54,018 --> 00:08:56,777
Well, you wouldn't tell me.
OK, I can live with that.
154
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,459
Oh, just tell me!
No. Look, I gotta go.
155
00:08:59,462 --> 00:09:03,861
I'll see you tonight. All right.
What time do you want me there? Er, any time, really.
156
00:09:03,864 --> 00:09:05,584
Coolio Iglesias.
157
00:09:07,106 --> 00:09:08,665
Smithy... Yeah?
158
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:12,746
You're a really good mate. You know
that, don't you. You're so gay!
159
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,389
See ya.
160
00:09:14,391 --> 00:09:19,430
Laters. # ..Feed the world
161
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:23,673
♪ Let them know it's Christmas time
162
00:09:23,676 --> 00:09:27,275
♪ Feed the world
163
00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:31,358
♪ Let them know it's Christmas time
164
00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:33,280
♪ Feed the... ♪
165
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:37,321
Hiya, luv, come in! I won't stop,
I've got a million things to do.
166
00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:38,964
I just wanted to give you this.
167
00:09:38,966 --> 00:09:42,005
Oh, thanks, Gwen.
Did you like the talc?
168
00:09:42,008 --> 00:09:45,687
Well, I've not opened it yet.
I was keeping it for Christmas Day.
169
00:09:45,690 --> 00:09:48,889
Well, it's talc, it is.
170
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,691
Right, I'll be off then.
171
00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:53,613
Bye, luv. See you tomorrow.
172
00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:56,254
See you, Gwen. Bye, Scott.
173
00:09:56,256 --> 00:09:59,015
How's it all going?
He's good as gold he is, Gwen.
174
00:09:59,018 --> 00:10:02,537
I'm meeting his mother tomorrow,
spending the day with them.
175
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:06,099
Oh, I know Alison, we were
in Guides together. Were you?
176
00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:07,982
Happy Christmas Eve, one and all!
177
00:10:07,984 --> 00:10:09,943
Happy Christmas!
178
00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:12,224
That's a big one, Bryn. I know!
179
00:10:12,226 --> 00:10:17,945
Phew! We're only there for two days
but I've got all the presents, haven't I?
180
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:21,669
Well, there'll be plenty of room
on the bus. Now. Nessa and Dave.
181
00:10:21,672 --> 00:10:26,071
What's their ETA?
Estimated time of arrival? Half two.
182
00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:30,074
Well, in that case, there's plenty
of time for a glass of this.
183
00:10:30,077 --> 00:10:34,396
Doris, will you join us
in a mint Baileys for Christmas?
184
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,239
I won't, Bryn.
185
00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:38,040
I've been drinking all day.
186
00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:40,121
I'm drunk now if the truth be told.
187
00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:43,882
The thing with Scott is,
he's a bit of a pot-head, he is.
188
00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:48,525
He loves his skunk and he's been
trying to get me to have a go.
189
00:10:48,529 --> 00:10:51,608
Well, the thing is,
I did all that back in the '60s.
190
00:10:51,611 --> 00:10:53,530
Bongs and... Happy memories, eh?
191
00:10:53,532 --> 00:10:59,651
I know, and I said to him,
you knock yourself out, luv, but I'm sticking to the wine.
192
00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:05,454
Well, that was 10 o'clock this
morning and to tell you the truth, Gwen, I'm absolutely twatted.
193
00:11:05,459 --> 00:11:08,859
Well, that's what Christmas
is all about, isn't it?
194
00:11:12,944 --> 00:11:14,623
Stacey!
195
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,745
Stacey!
196
00:11:27,473 --> 00:11:29,752
Ow! Oh...
197
00:11:29,754 --> 00:11:33,593
Are you all right?
No, that really hurt... What you doing here?
198
00:11:33,596 --> 00:11:38,275
Right, I've got an hour to do all my
presents and I need your discount. What is it? 60, 70%? 20.
199
00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:41,678
That'll have to do. It's a sackable
offence to share our discount.
200
00:11:41,681 --> 00:11:44,400
What's the point of working here
then?! What do you need?
201
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,962
Talc for Nana Joyce,
talc for Jackie Collins.
202
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:50,484
Jackie Collins? My other nan.
She's called Jackie Collins.
203
00:11:50,487 --> 00:11:52,966
Talc. Really? Talc?
Well, y'know, bath shit.
204
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:55,167
We've got some lovely bath shit
quite cheap.
205
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:58,409
Dream. Jumper for Mum or a blouse or
a skirt or a pair of shoes or a hat.
206
00:11:58,412 --> 00:12:02,531
Already got a CD for Rudi, I just
need some underwear for Lucy. OK. Cool.
207
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:04,773
So are you two definitely
back together then?
208
00:12:04,776 --> 00:12:09,295
I'm hoping the present will
swing it. I've got a Tiffany bracelet and My Little Pony.
209
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:12,937
My Little...? She collects them.
Them and Sylvanian Families.
210
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:17,500
OK. Well, are you thinking thong or
full pants or what? I dunno really.
211
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,022
Not full pants.
Well, the thong is like this,
212
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:24,584
goes right up. Or you've got
something like this, which shows a bit of bum cheek.
213
00:12:24,588 --> 00:12:27,427
Or see these ones I'm wearing,
these are from here.
214
00:12:27,429 --> 00:12:30,789
You'd never know. They're lush!
See the bit of detailing?
215
00:12:32,913 --> 00:12:35,992
Yeah, I mean that's...
Something like that's fine.
216
00:12:35,995 --> 00:12:39,394
Now what about a bra? Do you want
something comfy or sluttish?
217
00:12:39,397 --> 00:12:43,076
I honestly don't know. Well, do
you want to uplift them like this...
218
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,959
or push 'em in like this?
219
00:12:48,322 --> 00:12:50,201
That, the...
220
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:54,682
That one. The second one.
I got you! Come with me.
221
00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,925
I'm worried about this bird, y'know.
222
00:12:56,928 --> 00:12:58,807
Why, darling? I dunno. The water,
223
00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:01,688
the bucket, the soaking,
all this other nonsense.
224
00:13:01,691 --> 00:13:03,690
But if it's what Nigella says.
225
00:13:03,692 --> 00:13:07,171
Yeah, and Pete says it's fabulous,
but I'm just not confident.
226
00:13:07,174 --> 00:13:08,933
Not with so many eating with us.
227
00:13:08,935 --> 00:13:14,174
I should've stuck with Jamie Oliver.
I know where I am with him. Oh, look at that, "From John".
228
00:13:14,178 --> 00:13:16,337
What a waste of a tree.
229
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,219
John who? John Rotary?
230
00:13:18,221 --> 00:13:20,700
I don't know, Mick. It could be
mechanic John,
231
00:13:20,702 --> 00:13:22,181
John with the glasses...
232
00:13:22,183 --> 00:13:24,022
it won't be John
from Ann and John.
233
00:13:24,024 --> 00:13:27,023
What about John Snape?
It could be John Snape.
234
00:13:27,026 --> 00:13:29,065
Could be. Yeah, it'll be John Snape.
235
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:33,386
Yeah, peppercorns, peppercorns,
Pam. How many's a handful? Ten?
236
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,749
No, more than that.
237
00:13:35,751 --> 00:13:38,190
That's John Snape!
238
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:41,712
What is the point of sending cards
that arrive on Christmas Eve?
239
00:13:41,715 --> 00:13:43,794
They'll get taken down
in a few days.
240
00:13:43,796 --> 00:13:46,875
That's why I send all mine
on the first of November.
241
00:13:46,878 --> 00:13:49,037
Gives people seven weeks
to enjoy them.
242
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,759
Oh, here they are! Oh, lovely!
243
00:13:52,762 --> 00:13:55,802
THEY GOBBLE LIKE TURKEYS
244
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:03,765
Pam, that's a chicken,
you silly mare! Oh, yeah!
245
00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:07,848
So come on, where is she?
She's in the garage, come on, let's go and get her.
246
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:09,810
What do I owe you, Mick? 56.
247
00:14:09,812 --> 00:14:12,291
£56! Bloody hell, Pam.
248
00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:14,493
It is a nice one though, Dawn.
249
00:14:14,495 --> 00:14:16,574
It's a Norfolk Kerry Bronze.
250
00:14:16,577 --> 00:14:19,936
I know, but there's only the four
of us. What about Pete's mum?
251
00:14:19,939 --> 00:14:21,578
She barely eats, poor love.
252
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:25,059
She might have a bit of mashed up
banana but that's about it.
253
00:14:25,062 --> 00:14:27,821
Ah, where is she now?
We put her to bed.
254
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:31,223
Couple of Nitol, she'll be out
of it till the morning. Oh, right.
255
00:14:31,226 --> 00:14:34,265
Pete's got one of them alarm things,
you know, so she wakes up,
256
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:37,026
she just pulls a cord,
he'll be round there like a shot.
257
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,668
Did you get a card from John?
258
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:43,829
John? Oh, it was your John,
step-brother John!
259
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:46,312
Does he just write, "From John"?
That's him!
260
00:14:46,315 --> 00:14:49,474
Do you know,
he's been to Nepal three times!
261
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:53,596
Dawn, she is a beauty!
262
00:14:53,599 --> 00:14:56,998
It was Dawn's John! Step-brother,
John. Step-brother John.
263
00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,960
Were you confused 'cos he just
writes, "From John,"?
264
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:03,522
Yeah! You know, he's been
to Nepal three times.
265
00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:07,084
MISTLETOE AND WINE PLAYS ON TV
266
00:15:07,088 --> 00:15:09,487
Gosh. That is nice.
267
00:15:09,489 --> 00:15:13,248
You think you've tried it all,
you think there can't possibly
268
00:15:13,251 --> 00:15:16,610
be anywhere else to go with it,
and then they come up with this.
269
00:15:16,614 --> 00:15:18,213
Mint Baileys!
270
00:15:18,215 --> 00:15:20,134
I mean, what will they think of next?
271
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:23,735
I know.
It's like the white Toblerone Can you get white Toblerones?
272
00:15:23,738 --> 00:15:27,537
Yes. I've got some for tomorrow.
Well, I for one can't wait!
273
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:31,499
Not just for the Toblerone,
but for the whole thing.
274
00:15:31,503 --> 00:15:36,062
Do you know this will be my first
Christmas outside of South Wales?
275
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,585
Me too.
276
00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:40,386
HORN TOOTS
277
00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:42,668
That's them. Here they are.
278
00:15:47,753 --> 00:15:49,752
Merry Christmas to you all.
279
00:15:49,754 --> 00:15:52,953
David. Hiya, Dave.
280
00:15:52,956 --> 00:15:56,155
How did you get on today?
I reckon we cleared about 70 quid.
281
00:15:56,158 --> 00:15:58,157
Not bad.
282
00:15:58,159 --> 00:16:00,398
Any more complaints about the gifts?
283
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,159
One or two but that's par
for the course. Where is he?
284
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:09,002
Oh, look! Hello, my lovely.
You gonna come to your Aunty Gwen?
285
00:16:09,006 --> 00:16:12,325
Cheers, Gwen.
I'm going down the back for a smoke.
286
00:16:12,328 --> 00:16:14,447
All right, love. Right.
287
00:16:14,449 --> 00:16:16,249
Christmas in Essex here we come!
288
00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:28,775
Hiya! They've started early.
289
00:16:28,778 --> 00:16:30,377
They work in Dixons, they do.
290
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:34,098
Did you get Nessa's present? Yes.
I got her some goalkeeping gloves.
291
00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:35,940
Goalkeeping gloves?
292
00:16:35,942 --> 00:16:39,501
Yeah. Sondicos they are, Gav.
Would she want a pair of them?
293
00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:41,504
She's thinking about getting
back to it.
294
00:16:41,506 --> 00:16:45,865
She used to coach at Coventry City.
Still good friends with Steve Ogrizovic. OK.
295
00:16:45,868 --> 00:16:47,467
Come on, then. Let's get a move on.
296
00:16:47,469 --> 00:16:50,708
Don't I get a kiss?
No, you haven't got any mistletoe.
297
00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:52,991
I have, but it's in my pants. Gav!
298
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:58,633
Well done on the job, babes.
Thanks. Have you told your dad yet?
299
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:02,715
No. Do you think your mum will be OK?
No. What about Smithy?
300
00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,799
He'll never speak to me again.
301
00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:19,566
Now you've got to be careful
on this next level.
302
00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:24,728
You think they're gonna come at you
from the back of the truck and suddenly they come round the wall.
303
00:17:24,732 --> 00:17:28,291
I got you. Oh, Gwen. How's the baby?
304
00:17:28,295 --> 00:17:30,614
Oh, he's fine, love.
305
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,895
He's enjoying the massage, he is.
306
00:17:32,897 --> 00:17:37,136
Dave, you just let us know when
you want to get going. Cheers, Gwen.
307
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,140
I just needed a break from
the driving, you know.
308
00:17:44,184 --> 00:17:45,863
I'm not sure about this, Pete.
309
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,544
Have I put it in too early?
310
00:17:47,546 --> 00:17:50,905
What harm's it gonna do?
It's only a bucket of water, Mick.
311
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:53,427
There's cinnamon
and all sorts in there.
312
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:55,989
I won't be putting mine in
till I go to bed.
313
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:59,311
What? Oh, don't say that.
Right, I'm gonna take it out.
314
00:17:59,314 --> 00:18:02,673
I would! Yeah, take it out.
Put it back in later.
315
00:18:02,676 --> 00:18:04,835
BEEPER GOES
316
00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:08,076
Right, Dawn, we have got to go.
This has gone off four times now.
317
00:18:08,079 --> 00:18:10,718
She'll be OK.
What's the worst that could happen?
318
00:18:10,721 --> 00:18:13,520
She's locked in. I just think
I should check, that's all.
319
00:18:13,522 --> 00:18:17,721
Well, you go then, and come back
later when the Barry lot've arrived.
320
00:18:17,725 --> 00:18:20,244
All right.
Well, I'll just finish this.
321
00:18:20,246 --> 00:18:21,405
BEEPER
322
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:24,686
No, I've really got to go.
All right, my love.
323
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:27,008
Mick?
I'm just gonna check on my mum.
324
00:18:27,011 --> 00:18:29,691
I'll be back in a bit.
She does my head in.
325
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,533
Hello, you two.
Hiya. Happy Christmas. You off?
326
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:36,254
I just gotta check on my mum.
327
00:18:36,256 --> 00:18:39,695
See you. Hi, Gav, hi, Stace. Hiya!
328
00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:42,698
Hiya! You fancy some bubbly?
Yes, please.
329
00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:48,461
How'd you get on? I got it!
Oh, come here.
330
00:18:48,464 --> 00:18:51,543
Well done, mate. How do you feel?
331
00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:53,225
Well, good, I think.
332
00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:55,346
But what about Mum? And Smithy?
333
00:18:55,348 --> 00:18:57,787
Listen, it's all gonna be all right.
334
00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:00,109
Should I wait till
after Christmas to say?
335
00:19:00,111 --> 00:19:04,310
What's the point? Tell 'em tonight.
They've got all of Christmas then to get used to it.
336
00:19:04,314 --> 00:19:06,433
What are you two whispering about?
337
00:19:06,435 --> 00:19:10,154
Turkey! Oh, it's like
he's got another woman, Gav.
338
00:19:10,157 --> 00:19:12,637
I'm gonna open some more wine.
339
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,599
DOORBELL CHIMES
340
00:19:17,602 --> 00:19:22,281
Smithy! Pamela! Noel! Noel!
341
00:19:22,285 --> 00:19:25,204
God rest ye merry gentlemen.
342
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,845
Gavalarenus! Stacerini!
343
00:19:28,849 --> 00:19:32,968
Get in here now! Dawn Cheadle,
star of Ocean's 11 and 12!
344
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,810
Somewhat overlooked in 13.
When the hell are we getting it on?
345
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:39,052
Hello, darling.
Ooh, someone's been on the booze.
346
00:19:39,055 --> 00:19:42,494
Where's Pete? Where's P Diddly?
He's gone to check on his mum.
347
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:45,096
Not locking her in this Christmas?
Smithy!
348
00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:47,498
You're chipper. It's Christmas, Gav.
349
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,859
My son's on his way down. Spending
my first Christmas with my boy.
350
00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:54,141
Unfortunately his mother and
boyfriend are coming too. Plus,
351
00:19:54,144 --> 00:19:59,623
Mick's doing some Nigella shit
with that turkey that I cannot WAIT to get inside me!
352
00:19:59,628 --> 00:20:02,347
Come on, Eileen!
353
00:20:02,349 --> 00:20:05,588
Chinese Alan's got two tickets
for the West Ham game. 3rd Feb.
354
00:20:05,591 --> 00:20:08,550
I said we'd be up for it.
Yeah, great, definitely.
355
00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:10,672
Mid-week game, under the lights.
356
00:20:10,674 --> 00:20:12,633
Is it?
Let's see nearer the time.
357
00:20:12,636 --> 00:20:14,875
Shall I stick my presents
under the tree?
358
00:20:14,877 --> 00:20:18,996
What've you got?! Didn't have no
wrapping paper. So I used tin foil.
359
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,719
But it's actually a dream,
cos you need no sellotape.
360
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,440
You just scrunch and done.
361
00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:27,561
Right, let's get this party started.
Who's for a beveragey?
362
00:20:27,565 --> 00:20:29,164
PHONE RINGS
363
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:30,806
Ooh. I've got it.
364
00:20:32,768 --> 00:20:34,847
Le Gavlar Residence.
365
00:20:34,849 --> 00:20:36,728
All right. What's occurring?
366
00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,249
Oh, hey. You all right?
367
00:20:38,251 --> 00:20:40,410
How you doing? How's Neil?
368
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:44,092
He's all right.
He's been a bit sick, he has.
369
00:20:44,095 --> 00:20:46,014
Oh, my God, is he OK?
370
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:48,135
He's fine. It's completely normal.
371
00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:51,616
We'll be there in an hour.
All right? Yeah, great.
372
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:54,339
Just want to make sure
Pam keeps us some food, like.
373
00:20:54,341 --> 00:20:57,740
Yeah. I'm sure it will be fine.
374
00:20:57,743 --> 00:21:02,622
Right, I'll see you then. Yeah.
All right.
375
00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:04,985
Who was that? Them lot.
They'll be here in an hour.
376
00:21:04,988 --> 00:21:07,307
Ooh! Better get me quiches in!
377
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:10,188
Was that Smithy? Yeah.
378
00:21:10,191 --> 00:21:13,110
How is he? All right? Yeah.
379
00:21:13,113 --> 00:21:16,712
Turn it up, Dave. I love Chris Rea.
380
00:21:16,715 --> 00:21:20,754
♪ And it's been so long
381
00:21:20,758 --> 00:21:26,597
♪ But I will be there
I sing this song
382
00:21:26,601 --> 00:21:30,120
♪ To pass the time away
383
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,682
♪ Driving in my car
384
00:21:32,685 --> 00:21:35,565
♪ Driving home from Christmas
385
00:21:39,009 --> 00:21:40,968
♪ It's gonna take some time
386
00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:43,090
♪ But I'll get there
387
00:21:44,692 --> 00:21:48,451
♪ Top to toe in tailbacks
388
00:21:48,455 --> 00:21:52,175
♪ Oh, I got red lights all around
389
00:21:54,498 --> 00:21:59,577
♪ But soon there'll be a freeway
Yeah
390
00:21:59,581 --> 00:22:05,060
♪ He's driving home, driving home
391
00:22:05,065 --> 00:22:07,304
♪ Driving home for Christmas... ♪
392
00:22:07,306 --> 00:22:09,225
..Absolutely covered in the stuff.
393
00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:11,586
Oh, my God. It's them. They're here!
They're here.
394
00:22:11,589 --> 00:22:13,829
It's them. Oh, my god.
395
00:22:16,632 --> 00:22:19,391
Hiya! Bryn's got mistletoe!
396
00:22:19,394 --> 00:22:21,633
Who's first?
397
00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:24,074
Merry Christmas.
Where is he? Where's my boy?
398
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:28,516
Hang on. Not till
you've done the mistletoe. Brynlar!
399
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,959
Who's next? Mick!
Happy Christmas, Bryn.
400
00:22:33,963 --> 00:22:37,482
Here you go. Happy Christmas.
401
00:22:37,485 --> 00:22:41,525
Continental! Gavin.
You're the only one left.
402
00:22:48,652 --> 00:22:51,411
You OK? How was the journey?
Yeah, it was all right.
403
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:55,052
I kept him awake most of the time
so he should sleep through tonight.
404
00:22:55,056 --> 00:22:58,415
Yeah? Are you gonna sleep all
the way till Christmas morning, eh?
405
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:01,817
And see what Santa brings you? Yeah?
BABY CRIES
406
00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:03,859
What's all this?
407
00:23:03,861 --> 00:23:06,540
Come on. Ssh.
408
00:23:06,543 --> 00:23:10,062
He probably needs changing.
What's brought this on, little man?
409
00:23:10,065 --> 00:23:13,225
Give him here a minute. It's all
right. I got a special trick.
410
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:16,786
CRYING STOPS
411
00:23:16,789 --> 00:23:19,948
Where to shall I put him down, Mick?
412
00:23:19,951 --> 00:23:22,591
In the back room.
I'll bring your stuff through.
413
00:23:25,274 --> 00:23:28,034
Right, everyone. Come on! Food!
414
00:23:40,203 --> 00:23:47,082
♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree
Have a Christmas party hop
415
00:23:47,088 --> 00:23:51,407
♪ Mistletoe hung where you can
see... ♪
416
00:23:51,410 --> 00:23:54,529
I do find that Dave attractive,
you know, Pam.
417
00:23:54,532 --> 00:23:57,371
You do know he lives
in a caravan like a gyppo?
418
00:23:57,374 --> 00:24:02,253
Ah! Really? See, that's even
more of a turn on. Free spirit.
419
00:24:02,257 --> 00:24:05,656
You like the gingers, don't you?
420
00:24:05,659 --> 00:24:07,618
I do. I always have, Pam.
421
00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:10,059
Not too ginger, like Chris Evans.
422
00:24:10,062 --> 00:24:13,942
I like them more Charles Dance
or Anthony Worral Thompson.
423
00:24:15,505 --> 00:24:19,824
Gav was in Cardiff today?
And he never came to see us? He couldn't. He had to get back.
424
00:24:19,828 --> 00:24:23,067
No-one else knew he was there,
only Mick. When will he find out?
425
00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:25,749
He already has.
He starts in two weeks.
426
00:24:25,751 --> 00:24:28,950
I'm coming back home, Mam!
Oh, Stace, that's fantastic!
427
00:24:28,953 --> 00:24:32,232
Don't tell anyone. We haven't told
Pam yet. Oh, my god!
428
00:24:32,235 --> 00:24:33,555
DOORBELL
I'll get it.
429
00:24:37,238 --> 00:24:41,837
Hiya, Pete. Come in. This is my mum.
Hiya! Dawn, it's Pete.
430
00:24:41,841 --> 00:24:44,281
He's brought Edna. What?
431
00:24:45,644 --> 00:24:52,363
Everyone, this is Edna, Pete's mum.
Hello, Edna. How's it going?
432
00:24:52,368 --> 00:24:56,127
All right? Can I get you something,
darling? She just needs to sit down.
433
00:24:56,130 --> 00:25:00,289
Pete, what the hell are you doing
bringing her here? Don't. It's been a nightmare.
434
00:25:00,293 --> 00:25:02,612
By the time I put her to bed,
she needed the loo.
435
00:25:02,614 --> 00:25:05,493
Every time I tried to leave,
she'd press the alarm again.
436
00:25:05,496 --> 00:25:07,095
In the end I just gave up.
437
00:25:07,097 --> 00:25:08,737
Here y'are. Get this down you.
438
00:25:09,818 --> 00:25:14,217
Hello. My name is Bryn.
It means hill in Welsh.
439
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:18,940
I wouldn't bother. She doesn't
speak. Hasn't said a word in years.
440
00:25:18,944 --> 00:25:20,304
Ahem!
441
00:25:22,426 --> 00:25:25,105
DOORBELL
Merry Christmas. I'll get it.
442
00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:27,627
You sure? I've got my mistletoe.
443
00:25:27,629 --> 00:25:29,548
Merry Christmas!
444
00:25:29,551 --> 00:25:31,151
Merry Christmas, Uncle Bryn.
445
00:25:32,873 --> 00:25:34,473
Jason...
446
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:38,234
Can I come in? Course, course.
447
00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,995
Jason's here, everyone!
448
00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:45,596
Oh, lovely. Yes, Jaynana.
Making you a Snowball.
449
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,879
Hello. Happy Christmas.
450
00:25:47,882 --> 00:25:50,081
Hello, Dawn.
451
00:25:50,083 --> 00:25:52,842
Mick! Jason's here!
452
00:25:52,845 --> 00:25:54,365
Come on!
453
00:25:55,967 --> 00:26:00,607
I've been online. There's a lot
of people have had problems with this turkey recipe.
454
00:26:05,132 --> 00:26:07,411
Guys, guys. Can I just...?
455
00:26:07,414 --> 00:26:08,934
Stace, do you wanna?
456
00:26:10,896 --> 00:26:14,895
OK, well, now that Jason's here,
we've got something we want to tell you all.
457
00:26:14,898 --> 00:26:17,097
Oh, my god. You're pregnant!
458
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:19,859
Didn't I say, Mick? Didn't I say?
459
00:26:19,861 --> 00:26:21,900
Mum, Mum. Stacey's not pregnant.
460
00:26:21,903 --> 00:26:23,142
Oh. What are you like?
461
00:26:23,144 --> 00:26:26,103
Every time he opens his mouth,
you think she's pregnant.
462
00:26:26,105 --> 00:26:30,064
OK, well,
I'm just gonna come out with it.
463
00:26:30,068 --> 00:26:34,547
The company I work for
about a year and a half ago, bought into another company.
464
00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:37,350
Oh!
465
00:26:37,352 --> 00:26:41,191
They expanded and as a result,
I've been offered a promotion.
466
00:26:41,195 --> 00:26:43,834
CHEERING
That's the spirit Gavlar!
467
00:26:43,836 --> 00:26:49,435
Chin chin! Right. Thanks, yeah.
I'm really chuffed. And the other good news...
468
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,479
Well, WE see it as good news, is that
the new job is with the new branch.
469
00:26:54,483 --> 00:26:57,162
There's swish! In Cardiff.
470
00:26:57,164 --> 00:26:59,563
Cardiff?
You're gonna be knackered, mate.
471
00:26:59,566 --> 00:27:03,845
That's a seven-hour round trip,
every day. They paying your expenses?
472
00:27:03,849 --> 00:27:06,128
No, the thing is..
473
00:27:06,130 --> 00:27:08,209
We're moving back to Barry.
474
00:27:08,211 --> 00:27:12,330
What?! Just for the first
six months to see how it goes.
475
00:27:12,334 --> 00:27:16,373
Six months? Oh, I get it. You!
You couldn't wait, could you?
476
00:27:16,376 --> 00:27:19,895
Six months! From day one, you got
your claws in and now you're
477
00:27:19,898 --> 00:27:23,257
trying to take him away from me.
Look, let me just explain.
478
00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:25,779
Calm down. Why are you shouting?
479
00:27:25,782 --> 00:27:28,821
I'm not shouting. Listen to the tone
of your voice...
480
00:27:28,824 --> 00:27:30,263
It's a really good deal.
481
00:27:30,265 --> 00:27:32,504
How do you know?
482
00:27:32,506 --> 00:27:34,865
Gavin told me a few weeks back.
483
00:27:34,868 --> 00:27:37,507
What, so he knew about this? Yeah.
484
00:27:37,509 --> 00:27:39,748
And I did. Stacey wanted me to know.
485
00:27:39,751 --> 00:27:43,190
Oh, I can just hear you.
You and her and her in cahoots...
486
00:27:43,193 --> 00:27:45,392
I thought we agreed
only to talk to Dad?
487
00:27:45,394 --> 00:27:47,633
I was excited, Gav.
488
00:27:47,635 --> 00:27:49,434
..The bitches of Eastwick!
489
00:27:49,437 --> 00:27:51,276
Don't bring me into this, Pam.
490
00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:53,637
You ARE in this, Vanessa.
491
00:27:53,639 --> 00:27:55,558
How? What's Ness got to do with it?
492
00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:01,759
If you wanna make something of it,
I'll see you outside. No problem. Right, come on then.
493
00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:05,123
You don't want to do that, Pam. She
was South Wales wrestling champion.
494
00:28:05,126 --> 00:28:08,245
I don't care. I'll take
the lot of you on, you bloody...
495
00:28:08,248 --> 00:28:10,607
You Taffs!
You want some, do you, Pam?
496
00:28:10,610 --> 00:28:12,369
This is ridiculous!
497
00:28:12,371 --> 00:28:15,450
Let's not make turn this into
a race issue. Leave it out, Bryn.
498
00:28:15,453 --> 00:28:19,772
This is getting out of control.
Why doesn't everyone just calm down?
499
00:28:19,775 --> 00:28:21,294
This is nothing to do with you.
500
00:28:21,296 --> 00:28:24,775
- I'll back you all the way.
Hit her in the face. - What you saying, Dawn?
501
00:28:24,778 --> 00:28:29,137
I'm telling her to punch you
in the face, you truck-driving dyke.
502
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:30,740
Oh, Pete. Control your wife.
503
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:34,581
I'll control you in a minute,
sunshine. Come on, then. Come on, then!
504
00:28:34,584 --> 00:28:35,943
Whoa, whoa. I got your back.
505
00:28:35,945 --> 00:28:38,784
Stay out of it, fat man.
This is between me and Scrappy Doo.
506
00:28:38,787 --> 00:28:43,746
What'd you call me? Please don't
make this harder than it already is. Make it harder than it already is?!
507
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,950
SHRIEKS
508
00:28:47,632 --> 00:28:49,672
You all right, Dave? Yeah.
509
00:28:51,635 --> 00:28:53,994
Sorry, everyone.
510
00:28:53,996 --> 00:28:56,395
No-one talks about
my wife like that.
511
00:28:56,398 --> 00:28:57,917
Oh, my Pete.
512
00:28:57,919 --> 00:29:00,438
Come on, Dawn.
513
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,319
I think we'd better leave.
514
00:29:03,322 --> 00:29:05,321
Night, everyone.
515
00:29:05,323 --> 00:29:06,843
Night, Dawny.
516
00:29:09,446 --> 00:29:11,806
I should go too.
Smithy! Not now, Gav.
517
00:29:14,129 --> 00:29:16,528
I think we should go too,
back to Barry.
518
00:29:16,530 --> 00:29:19,809
This has been a terrible mistake.
No, Bryn, just stop a minute.
519
00:29:19,812 --> 00:29:27,251
It's very late, we've all had
a drink, some more than others, and it's Christmas Eve.
520
00:29:27,257 --> 00:29:32,056
Why don't we just all go to bed,
have a good night's rest, and in the morning we can start again?
521
00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:33,740
What do you think?
522
00:29:45,188 --> 00:29:47,708
I forgot my turkey.
523
00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,874
All right? I think so.
524
00:29:59,877 --> 00:30:01,756
Mum's not speaking to me.
525
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:04,197
She's just hurt I never told
her about it.
526
00:30:04,199 --> 00:30:06,518
She said a Shipman
never keeps secrets.
527
00:30:06,521 --> 00:30:10,400
She'll be all right tomorrow.
She's not gonna not speak to you on Christmas.
528
00:30:10,403 --> 00:30:14,642
Well, it's up to her. If she can't
see this is the right thing to do... Are you sure it is?
529
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,845
Yes! I'm really excited about it.
530
00:30:16,847 --> 00:30:18,726
I love you.
531
00:30:18,728 --> 00:30:20,288
I love you.
532
00:30:58,993 --> 00:31:00,032
Uncle Bryn?
533
00:31:00,034 --> 00:31:02,713
Sorry, I thought you were asleep.
534
00:31:02,715 --> 00:31:04,554
No. I can't get off, to be honest.
535
00:31:04,557 --> 00:31:06,556
Neither can I.
That's why I'm having a milk.
536
00:31:06,558 --> 00:31:10,397
Oh, I might join you. If I
were at home, I'd have a Nesquik,
537
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,839
but I don't think they've got any
and I daren't look through the cupboards.
538
00:31:14,843 --> 00:31:17,282
What flavour do you have? Banana.
539
00:31:17,284 --> 00:31:19,043
Or strawberry.
540
00:31:19,046 --> 00:31:20,566
Or chocolate.
541
00:31:28,651 --> 00:31:31,810
Funny old night...
It doesn't feel like Christmas...
542
00:31:31,813 --> 00:31:34,652
Sorry. All that arguing.
Reminds me of when Dad was alive.
543
00:31:34,655 --> 00:31:38,054
Oh, god! Christmas with your father.
544
00:31:38,057 --> 00:31:42,056
Do you know, it's the one time
of the year I don't miss him.
545
00:31:42,060 --> 00:31:45,899
I know. No turkey. Pork chops!
Pork chops on Christmas Day!
546
00:31:45,902 --> 00:31:48,821
And no presents.
I had to smuggle mine in.
547
00:31:48,824 --> 00:31:55,144
I remember us getting caught
when you gave me that Han Solo. There's me pretending it was mine.
548
00:32:01,191 --> 00:32:03,550
I'm glad we're friends
again, Uncle Bryn.
549
00:32:03,553 --> 00:32:05,473
Me too.
550
00:32:11,478 --> 00:32:14,798
Probably did us a favour,
in the end, you telling Dave.
551
00:32:16,321 --> 00:32:17,841
Yes.
552
00:32:20,443 --> 00:32:23,803
Does he ever,
y'know, does he mention it? No.
553
00:32:25,927 --> 00:32:29,446
There's the occasional comment,
the odd look.
554
00:32:29,449 --> 00:32:33,008
Times when I know he's wondering
how a man and his nephew could...
555
00:32:33,011 --> 00:32:34,931
Yeah, yeah, I know.
556
00:32:38,935 --> 00:32:40,934
Right.
557
00:32:40,936 --> 00:32:42,456
I'm gonna get off. Me too.
558
00:32:44,778 --> 00:32:47,338
Good night, Uncle Bryn.
Good night, Jason.
559
00:32:54,504 --> 00:32:57,504
We were just having a milk.
I need to get some milk for Neil...
560
00:33:00,468 --> 00:33:04,907
David, it is not what you think.
Listen, it's none of my...
561
00:33:04,911 --> 00:33:08,350
You can do whatever you like. Oh,
for God's sake. I'm going to bed.
562
00:33:08,353 --> 00:33:10,672
No, Jason.
563
00:33:10,674 --> 00:33:13,873
We're gonna have this out,
once and for all, man to man.
564
00:33:13,876 --> 00:33:16,595
You don't need to do this, Bryn.
565
00:33:16,598 --> 00:33:19,237
You don't need to put
yourself through this again.
566
00:33:19,239 --> 00:33:21,278
Yes, I do. Please, Uncle Bryn.
567
00:33:21,281 --> 00:33:22,920
No, Jason.
568
00:33:22,922 --> 00:33:26,001
It is time for the truth.
569
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:29,523
We are going to talk about what
happened on that fishing trip.
570
00:33:29,526 --> 00:33:34,085
Right here, right now. But Bryn,
I already know what happened.
571
00:33:34,089 --> 00:33:37,888
You may know what happened, David.
572
00:33:37,891 --> 00:33:40,051
But you don't know why it happened.
573
00:33:45,896 --> 00:33:51,375
It was freezing cold. It was!
And when you are that cold...
574
00:33:51,379 --> 00:33:53,938
All right?
I was just getting some milk.
575
00:33:53,941 --> 00:33:55,781
Done now. Bed.
576
00:33:58,584 --> 00:34:00,023
Oh, right.
577
00:34:00,025 --> 00:34:03,344
BANGING AND SHUFFLING
578
00:34:03,347 --> 00:34:06,186
Blimey, it's like Piccadilly Circus
in here tonight.
579
00:34:06,188 --> 00:34:08,067
BANGING CONTINUES
580
00:34:08,070 --> 00:34:09,590
Innit, Pam?
581
00:34:12,552 --> 00:34:15,591
Pam? I can't hear you, Michael.
I'm not speaking to you.
582
00:34:15,594 --> 00:34:18,394
Come on, Pam, it's Christmas.
583
00:34:19,917 --> 00:34:22,396
I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
all right?
584
00:34:22,398 --> 00:34:25,838
It just seemed best to wait
and see if he got the job.
585
00:34:31,684 --> 00:34:33,524
Camilla...
586
00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:38,446
I need you, Camilla.
587
00:34:38,448 --> 00:34:41,607
I want you.
588
00:34:41,610 --> 00:34:45,049
Oh, Charles.
Will I ever be your queen?
589
00:34:45,052 --> 00:34:48,491
Yes, you will, right?
So long as you stop this sulking, OK?
590
00:34:48,494 --> 00:34:53,413
We've got guests, and you know and I
know that he's doing the right thing.
591
00:34:53,417 --> 00:34:55,336
He's not going to Mars, Pam.
592
00:34:55,339 --> 00:34:59,458
It's only down the road and
we're all gonna miss him. I know.
593
00:34:59,461 --> 00:35:03,020
So let's try and make this
the best Christmas yet, eh?
594
00:35:03,023 --> 00:35:04,822
OK?
595
00:35:04,824 --> 00:35:08,344
OK. Right.
596
00:35:16,311 --> 00:35:19,510
Prepare to be knighted
with my special sword.
597
00:35:19,513 --> 00:35:21,633
Oh, yes, Your Highness.
598
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,559
Merry Christmas, everyone!
599
00:35:32,561 --> 00:35:35,560
Or as we say in Wales, nadolig
llawen pawb.
600
00:35:35,563 --> 00:35:38,442
What does that mean?
Merry Christmas, everyone.
601
00:35:38,445 --> 00:35:40,124
Oh, lovely. What is it again?
602
00:35:40,126 --> 00:35:42,245
Nadolig llawen. Nadorig claren.
603
00:35:42,247 --> 00:35:43,846
Funny that, cos I use Clarins.
604
00:35:43,848 --> 00:35:45,567
Happy Christmas, everyone.
605
00:35:45,569 --> 00:35:49,368
There he is.
Happy Christmas, my little prince.
606
00:35:49,372 --> 00:35:51,732
Do you want a Bucks Fizz?
Yeah, go on.
607
00:35:55,456 --> 00:35:57,735
I'm sorry about last night.
It's all right.
608
00:35:57,737 --> 00:36:00,096
No, I shouldn't have reacted
like that.
609
00:36:00,098 --> 00:36:03,257
You're doing what's best
for you and Stacey. Thanks, Mum.
610
00:36:03,260 --> 00:36:05,259
I will miss you though.
611
00:36:05,262 --> 00:36:07,381
Come here.
612
00:36:07,383 --> 00:36:09,702
Happy Christmas.
613
00:36:09,704 --> 00:36:11,583
Where is Stacey. She not up yet?
614
00:36:11,585 --> 00:36:15,384
No, she's having a shower.
I thought Nessa was having a shower.
615
00:36:15,388 --> 00:36:19,587
I tell you, that's one thing I'll
miss is this shower. It's so lush.
616
00:36:19,590 --> 00:36:21,949
Yeah, you said.
617
00:36:21,952 --> 00:36:26,431
You never shower, do you, Ness?
I know. I physically can't do it.
618
00:36:26,435 --> 00:36:30,874
And I won't lie to you, it's gonna
be a problem for me, moving in that caravan with Dave.
619
00:36:30,877 --> 00:36:33,316
He's not got a tub.
How will you manage?
620
00:36:33,319 --> 00:36:37,278
I'll have a personal wash
twice a day. With a flannel.
621
00:36:37,281 --> 00:36:41,640
Oh, thanks, Ness. Are you OK about
moving in with him?
622
00:36:41,644 --> 00:36:43,803
Yeah. He's good as gold, he is.
623
00:36:43,805 --> 00:36:45,924
He can't do enough for me, or Neil.
624
00:36:45,927 --> 00:36:49,166
NEIL CRIES
625
00:36:49,169 --> 00:36:53,408
Oh, Neil. I'm in the bath.
626
00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:56,130
I'll get Dave. You remember Dave?
627
00:36:56,133 --> 00:36:58,292
Dave Coaches.
628
00:36:58,294 --> 00:37:00,733
With the moustache?
629
00:37:00,736 --> 00:37:03,095
Yeah, that's him, babes.
630
00:37:03,097 --> 00:37:05,017
Oh, Dave!
631
00:37:06,539 --> 00:37:10,018
Dave! Help me out, Stace.
632
00:37:10,021 --> 00:37:13,100
BOTH: Dave! What?
633
00:37:13,103 --> 00:37:16,462
Neil's crying.
Give him a hand, will you?
634
00:37:16,465 --> 00:37:20,185
Be there now. He's on his way.
635
00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:29,470
Oh, Stace. Will you do my back?
Yeah. The razor's by the sink.
636
00:37:30,634 --> 00:37:32,353
Mick! Michael!
637
00:37:32,355 --> 00:37:34,874
Noel's given the little boy a bike.
638
00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:39,396
Cos his sister was being bullied
cos she's in a wheelchair and he stuck up for her.
639
00:37:39,399 --> 00:37:41,238
I've gone. I've actually gone.
640
00:37:41,241 --> 00:37:44,040
Every year he gets me.
641
00:37:44,042 --> 00:37:47,361
Oh, my Christ! What on earth?!
642
00:37:47,364 --> 00:37:49,683
Edna...
643
00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,805
Are you all right?
Don't touch her, Gwen.
644
00:37:51,807 --> 00:37:53,886
Stay well back.
But she's only a... No.
645
00:37:53,888 --> 00:37:55,807
You don't know what state she's in.
646
00:37:55,810 --> 00:37:58,410
She's bitten Dawn before now.
647
00:38:00,012 --> 00:38:02,731
Mick! Michael!
648
00:38:02,734 --> 00:38:04,373
Can you come in here, please?
649
00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:07,934
What's going on? Edna!
650
00:38:07,937 --> 00:38:11,936
How did she get there? She just
popped up from behind the bar.
651
00:38:11,940 --> 00:38:13,739
She's been here all night,
bless her.
652
00:38:13,741 --> 00:38:15,500
Blimey. We'll have to get her home.
653
00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:21,301
Right, everyone, could
we please stop talking about her as though she's not in the room?
654
00:38:21,305 --> 00:38:25,104
Mick, what's Dawn and Pete's surname?
Sutcliffe.
655
00:38:25,108 --> 00:38:27,028
Right.
656
00:38:28,830 --> 00:38:30,149
Mrs Sutcliffe.
657
00:38:30,151 --> 00:38:32,230
Hello. I'm Bryn.
658
00:38:32,232 --> 00:38:37,031
It's Christmas 2008.
Gordon Brown is the Prime Minister.
659
00:38:37,035 --> 00:38:40,794
Bryn, she's just woken up. She's not
been in a coma. What we gonna do?
660
00:38:40,797 --> 00:38:43,956
Well, someone's gonna have
to take her back. I can't do it.
661
00:38:43,959 --> 00:38:46,078
I can't leave the turkey.
662
00:38:46,081 --> 00:38:49,120
All right. Well, I'll take her then.
663
00:38:49,122 --> 00:38:52,362
Should I come with you?
No, it's all right. It's not far.
664
00:38:53,965 --> 00:38:55,524
That's it. Watch yourself.
665
00:38:55,526 --> 00:38:57,326
Come on. That's it.
666
00:38:59,529 --> 00:39:03,568
Your Pete'll be worried sick. All
right, Edna. Where'd you spring from?
667
00:39:03,571 --> 00:39:08,770
She's been behind the bloody bar
all night, hasn't she? There you go.
668
00:39:08,774 --> 00:39:13,853
♪ ..But the fire is so delightful
Since we've no place to go... ♪ Oh.
669
00:39:13,858 --> 00:39:15,657
Where to you going?
670
00:39:15,659 --> 00:39:19,018
Gonna take him round the block. See
if I can get him off before lunch.
671
00:39:19,021 --> 00:39:20,700
Cracking. You coming? No.
672
00:39:20,702 --> 00:39:23,861
Dave's taking you a walk.
673
00:39:23,864 --> 00:39:27,263
I explained to you what a walk
was, didn't I? That's right.
674
00:39:27,266 --> 00:39:29,785
Hiya! Happy Christmas, Dave.
675
00:39:29,787 --> 00:39:32,266
Happy Christmas, Stace.
676
00:39:32,269 --> 00:39:35,548
Oh. Oh. Merry Christmas.
677
00:39:35,551 --> 00:39:37,591
Merry Christmas, Dave.
678
00:39:43,516 --> 00:39:46,515
Mick,
do you need a hand with anything?
679
00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:48,277
No, no, all under control.
680
00:39:48,279 --> 00:39:50,798
OK, well, I'm gonna put
all the presents out now -
681
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,719
into piles. So where are all yours?
682
00:39:52,722 --> 00:39:55,161
I don't know, darlin'.
Happy Christmas, Ness.
683
00:39:55,163 --> 00:39:57,362
Ask Pam when she comes back.
684
00:39:57,364 --> 00:40:00,083
She's taken Edna home.
She fell asleep behind the bar.
685
00:40:00,086 --> 00:40:02,445
Oh, my God.
You look beautiful in that, babe.
686
00:40:02,447 --> 00:40:05,046
Aww, thanks.
It's my Christmas dress.
687
00:40:05,049 --> 00:40:06,848
Sure I can't do anything to help?
688
00:40:06,850 --> 00:40:08,889
No, no, all under control.
689
00:40:08,891 --> 00:40:12,490
Well, that was a turn up
for the books. Poor old Edna!
690
00:40:12,494 --> 00:40:14,973
I thought you handled
her really well, Bryn.
691
00:40:14,975 --> 00:40:16,574
I know!
692
00:40:16,576 --> 00:40:21,735
I don't know what came over me.
I think I was inspired by Noel.
693
00:40:21,739 --> 00:40:25,778
I looked at her and I thought,
what would Noel do?
694
00:40:25,782 --> 00:40:30,981
And that is why, for me,
Noel Edmonds is one of the country's finest talents. Yeah, he is.
695
00:40:30,985 --> 00:40:33,824
Deal Or No Deal. Have
you seen it, Mick? Yeah, a couple.
696
00:40:33,827 --> 00:40:39,026
It's just a load of people trying
to guess what's in a box, in't it? Hand us those tongs, will you, mate.
697
00:40:39,030 --> 00:40:43,389
No, it's not. There's a lot more to
it that that. Have you seen it, Jase?
698
00:40:43,393 --> 00:40:46,352
I've not seen this one but
there's a version in Spain.
699
00:40:46,354 --> 00:40:49,233
It's called Un Trato O No Trato.
What does that mean?
700
00:40:49,236 --> 00:40:50,835
Deal Or No Deal.
701
00:40:50,837 --> 00:40:53,596
Deal Or No Deal, that's what
we call it. You're right, Mick.
702
00:40:53,599 --> 00:40:57,398
the show without Noel,
would be utter horse shit!
703
00:40:57,401 --> 00:41:00,240
But with him in the equation,
it's a whole different thing.
704
00:41:00,243 --> 00:41:05,642
I think they should call it
Deal Or Noel's Deal!
705
00:41:05,646 --> 00:41:10,125
Gwen! Deal Or Noel's Deal!
706
00:41:10,129 --> 00:41:12,208
Mick. Is there anything
I can do to help?
707
00:41:12,210 --> 00:41:14,649
No, no. All under control.
708
00:41:14,652 --> 00:41:17,411
It's all right, Gwen.
I'll put them in the dishwasher.
709
00:41:17,414 --> 00:41:20,133
No, no, I've got it.
You've been a while, Ness.
710
00:41:20,135 --> 00:41:23,014
I know. I was havin' my cigar.
711
00:41:23,017 --> 00:41:25,696
Cigar? Yes.
She always has one on Christmas.
712
00:41:25,699 --> 00:41:29,538
Cuban. I smokes a Cuban at Christmas
and a pipe at Easter.
713
00:41:29,541 --> 00:41:31,780
Always has, always will.
DOORBELL RINGS
714
00:41:31,782 --> 00:41:33,542
I'll get it.
715
00:41:37,106 --> 00:41:40,465
All right? Merry Christmas.
716
00:41:40,468 --> 00:41:42,908
Yeah. Happy Christmas.
717
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:47,309
Where's Neil?
Dave's taken him a walk. What?
718
00:41:47,312 --> 00:41:52,711
But I was hoping... Look, we've
been through this before, I can't be running stuff by you all the time.
719
00:41:52,715 --> 00:41:57,154
I can't be ringing you every
time he needs his nappy changed or Dave takes him down the pub.
720
00:41:57,158 --> 00:41:59,517
Down the pub?
721
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,479
Dave takes him down the pub?!
722
00:42:01,481 --> 00:42:05,920
Yeah. I wanted to be the first
person to take him down the pub!
723
00:42:05,923 --> 00:42:08,642
Happy Christmas, Smithy, darlin.
724
00:42:08,645 --> 00:42:12,964
Happy Christmas, Pamela,
glad tidings to you and your kin, obviously.
725
00:42:12,968 --> 00:42:15,047
How's everything with Edna?
726
00:42:15,049 --> 00:42:17,048
Yeah, what's occurrin'? She's fine.
727
00:42:17,050 --> 00:42:19,929
They didn't know she was gone,
thought she was still asleep!
728
00:42:19,932 --> 00:42:23,372
They were half way
through their dinner.
729
00:42:35,101 --> 00:42:37,261
You all right? Don't touch me. OK?
730
00:42:40,545 --> 00:42:42,264
I've thought it through
731
00:42:42,266 --> 00:42:45,386
and I am willing to accept it
but there are some conditions.
732
00:42:46,949 --> 00:42:50,668
Go on. Firstly, you come back every
other weekend, without fail. Right.
733
00:42:50,671 --> 00:42:56,030
Secondly, you guarantee at least
one night out every month with all the boys. We don't even do that now!
734
00:42:56,034 --> 00:43:00,633
Thirdly, if you promise it'll
be no more than six months, you've got a deal.
735
00:43:00,637 --> 00:43:04,116
Any longer than that, I am gonna
start looking for a new best friend.
736
00:43:04,119 --> 00:43:07,638
Who?! I don't know. Likely candidates
are Deano or Budgie.
737
00:43:07,641 --> 00:43:10,360
What about Fingers?
738
00:43:10,363 --> 00:43:12,762
Hmm, that's a thought.
739
00:43:12,765 --> 00:43:15,524
I'll stick him
on the bench with Chinese Alan.
740
00:43:15,526 --> 00:43:17,086
Merry Christmas, mate.
741
00:43:17,527 --> 00:43:18,966
Yeah, whatever.
742
00:43:18,968 --> 00:43:20,527
Mick, where's this turkey?
743
00:43:20,529 --> 00:43:22,889
I'm absolutely fam-ISHed!
744
00:43:25,132 --> 00:43:28,251
HUM OF CONVERSATION
745
00:43:28,254 --> 00:43:30,293
I'm sorry we're not
in the dining room.
746
00:43:30,295 --> 00:43:32,214
There wasn't enough room
with all of us.
747
00:43:32,217 --> 00:43:33,896
We'd never get you
all in our house.
748
00:43:33,898 --> 00:43:36,537
To tell you the truth,
we're thinking about an extension.
749
00:43:36,539 --> 00:43:38,138
Is he all right? Everything OK?
750
00:43:38,140 --> 00:43:40,979
Yeah. I had to read
to him to get him off.
751
00:43:40,982 --> 00:43:43,101
Oh, a little fairy story?
752
00:43:43,103 --> 00:43:46,702
No. Russell Brand's My Booky Wook.
He's loving every word.
753
00:43:46,705 --> 00:43:49,584
Did we get a mention in the end? No.
754
00:43:49,587 --> 00:43:52,106
Aw, that's a shame, I'm quite
disappointed, are you?
755
00:43:52,109 --> 00:43:53,668
Don't be, Stace.
756
00:43:53,670 --> 00:43:55,750
We had a cracking night,
Pam, all three of us.
757
00:43:57,752 --> 00:44:00,671
Mick, this turkey is immense. I know.
758
00:44:00,674 --> 00:44:03,553
It's got what I call the wow factor.
759
00:44:03,556 --> 00:44:05,555
Dad, it's definitely the
best one yet.
760
00:44:05,557 --> 00:44:08,276
My God, it doesn't even taste
like turkey. It's like salmon.
761
00:44:08,279 --> 00:44:09,878
Out of this world!
762
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,119
Fair play, Mick!
It's not just the turkey.
763
00:44:12,121 --> 00:44:14,400
These carrots, Michael,
are an Arc de Triumph.
764
00:44:14,402 --> 00:44:16,241
Sure? Everybody happy?
765
00:44:16,244 --> 00:44:17,604
CHEERS OF APPROVAL
766
00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:21,604
So Smithy, how come you're not
eating with your family today?
767
00:44:21,607 --> 00:44:25,126
I already did. We sit down
about eleven, half eleven.
768
00:44:25,129 --> 00:44:27,888
What, a full turkey dinner?
Yeah, the whole shebang.
769
00:44:27,891 --> 00:44:30,130
It's just I got to get around
here, ain't I?
770
00:44:30,132 --> 00:44:32,011
I used to have three
when I was with Lucy.
771
00:44:32,013 --> 00:44:35,372
I'd eat at home, then come here,
get to Lucy's for about four, then
772
00:44:35,375 --> 00:44:38,134
down the Crown, get on it, then
back here for about ten.
773
00:44:38,137 --> 00:44:40,216
And then just stay here
till New Year's Day.
774
00:44:40,218 --> 00:44:42,057
Oh, that's nice!
775
00:44:42,059 --> 00:44:48,098
Right. Has nobody actually noticed
that I am eating meat?
776
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:50,302
I'm a vegetarian, remember?
777
00:44:50,305 --> 00:44:52,744
Give it a rest, Pam! What?
778
00:44:52,746 --> 00:44:56,185
Oh, Mum, come on. Everyone knows
you weren't really a vegetarian.
779
00:44:56,188 --> 00:44:57,747
Really?
780
00:44:57,749 --> 00:45:00,628
Well, you did a good job
of hiding it!
781
00:45:00,631 --> 00:45:02,190
Yeah, better job than you did.
782
00:45:02,192 --> 00:45:03,751
LAUGHTER
783
00:45:03,753 --> 00:45:08,592
Well, I didn't know. I've bought you
a vegetarian cook book for Christmas.
784
00:45:08,596 --> 00:45:11,475
You got mugged off, Gwen.
785
00:45:11,478 --> 00:45:14,197
Right, right. Here's a good one.
786
00:45:14,199 --> 00:45:18,438
What is yellow and dangerous?
787
00:45:18,442 --> 00:45:22,602
Shark infested custard.
Infested custard! Yes, yes!
788
00:45:25,646 --> 00:45:29,165
Right, I've put all your presents
out, you've got your own places.
789
00:45:29,168 --> 00:45:31,087
Right, Mick, you're there.
790
00:45:31,090 --> 00:45:36,209
Pam, come on Pam, you're next to
him. Mum, Gav, you're next to Mum.
791
00:45:36,213 --> 00:45:38,252
Then Smithy, you're on the corner.
792
00:45:38,254 --> 00:45:40,733
Uncle Bryn, Dave, then Jason.
793
00:45:40,736 --> 00:45:42,855
Mine are over there so
I'll just be floating. OK.
794
00:45:42,857 --> 00:45:46,936
I'm gonna open one first
because, well, cos I just want to.
795
00:45:46,939 --> 00:45:49,058
Unless you think this
makes me look spoilt.
796
00:45:49,061 --> 00:45:51,741
No... Go on.
797
00:45:52,823 --> 00:45:57,382
Smith, I'm not being funny but
probably best if you leave him for now.
798
00:45:57,386 --> 00:46:01,145
It's just I've not had much
time with him today, that's all.
799
00:46:01,148 --> 00:46:03,427
He's got a routine,
and if you get him excited,
800
00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:06,709
it's us that'll get it in the
neck when he won't go down tonight.
801
00:46:06,712 --> 00:46:08,911
OK.
802
00:46:08,913 --> 00:46:10,833
Ah, thanks babe.
803
00:46:14,596 --> 00:46:18,755
It's from Gav,
but it's not my main present.
804
00:46:18,759 --> 00:46:23,918
There isn't any main present,
cos we decided, it's just lots of little ones.
805
00:46:23,922 --> 00:46:27,761
Yeah, but it's not my main little
one. Right, Mum, you're next.
806
00:46:27,765 --> 00:46:31,325
OK. Well, this is from Doris.
807
00:46:33,608 --> 00:46:35,567
And it's talc.
808
00:46:35,569 --> 00:46:39,448
What is this thing with
talc and old people? I mean, do you actually use it?
809
00:46:39,452 --> 00:46:42,171
I don't, Pam, but it's nice
to have some in the cupboard.
810
00:46:42,173 --> 00:46:43,853
Uncle Bryn?
811
00:46:45,535 --> 00:46:52,894
This is from Nessa, David
and Neil!
812
00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:56,820
Actually Bryn, we've got you
all the same, so you may as well open them together.
813
00:47:04,787 --> 00:47:07,746
It's the Snickers from
a box of Celebrations.
814
00:47:07,749 --> 00:47:09,348
Oh, you got the Snickers did you,
Gav?
815
00:47:09,350 --> 00:47:10,869
Crackin. Stace, what you get?
816
00:47:10,871 --> 00:47:12,230
Milky Way.
817
00:47:12,232 --> 00:47:15,031
I've got a Milky Way. Mars.
818
00:47:15,034 --> 00:47:17,234
Gwen? Bounty.
819
00:47:19,116 --> 00:47:22,235
You've drawn the short straw
there, I'm not gonna lie to you.
820
00:47:22,238 --> 00:47:24,237
I'll see if I got some
more on the bus. Jase?
821
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,798
Malteser. Oh, that's the big one.
822
00:47:26,801 --> 00:47:28,360
That's the best one, that is.
823
00:47:28,362 --> 00:47:29,761
That or the Galaxy truffle!
824
00:47:29,763 --> 00:47:31,042
I got the Galaxy truffle!
825
00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:33,562
I got the Galaxy truffle!
826
00:47:33,565 --> 00:47:37,044
Smith?
Just the regular Galaxy one. Cheers.
827
00:47:37,047 --> 00:47:39,966
Thanks, Ness. Thanks, David.
828
00:47:39,969 --> 00:47:42,168
Just a little something
from the three of us.
829
00:47:42,170 --> 00:47:44,849
And this is from me.
830
00:47:44,852 --> 00:47:46,772
Aw, thanks babe.
831
00:47:51,256 --> 00:47:54,215
Babe! That's amazing! What is it?
832
00:47:54,218 --> 00:47:56,377
It's a signed photo
of Michael Dawson.
833
00:47:56,379 --> 00:47:59,019
He's my favourite Tottenham player.
Dawsy.
834
00:48:02,783 --> 00:48:05,902
Right, I don't know
if it's my go next,
835
00:48:05,905 --> 00:48:07,864
I just really want to
give him his present.
836
00:48:07,866 --> 00:48:10,466
So...if you wanna open it. OK.
837
00:48:22,835 --> 00:48:25,035
And look at the back. Wey!
838
00:48:27,678 --> 00:48:31,797
He's a lucky boy. I've already got
him a Cardiff City one, haven't I?
839
00:48:31,801 --> 00:48:36,080
What? Yeah, but he can support
two teams, can't he? No he can't.
840
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:38,562
Why...why d'you get him that top?
841
00:48:38,565 --> 00:48:41,644
Well, cos he's a Cardiff
boy, isn't he? Well, Barry.
842
00:48:41,647 --> 00:48:43,406
Yeah, well,
843
00:48:43,408 --> 00:48:45,847
they're his closest team
844
00:48:45,849 --> 00:48:49,049
and they're my team, so...
845
00:48:54,775 --> 00:48:57,454
Right, well I wanna give
Mick his present.
846
00:48:57,457 --> 00:48:59,856
Stace, would you help
me bring it in?
847
00:48:59,858 --> 00:49:02,178
OK. Bring it in?
Blimey, what you got me?
848
00:49:15,828 --> 00:49:18,147
What time's the EastEnders special?
849
00:49:18,149 --> 00:49:20,908
I don't know, we stopped
watching it, didn't we, Bryn?
850
00:49:20,911 --> 00:49:22,790
We did. I used to love it!
851
00:49:22,792 --> 00:49:26,951
But when they brought Dirty Den back
that was the final straw for me.
852
00:49:26,955 --> 00:49:29,314
I mean no-one
could've survived that canal.
853
00:49:29,316 --> 00:49:32,755
Specially with a bullet wound. They
were taking the mick, Mick.
854
00:49:32,758 --> 00:49:35,837
I think it went downhill
when Pete died. Pete Beale?
855
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,559
Yeah. And Mark. With the Aids.
856
00:49:38,562 --> 00:49:40,201
What about Cath, is she dead?
857
00:49:40,203 --> 00:49:43,042
She died on Strictly.
858
00:49:43,045 --> 00:49:44,805
Out first, wasn't she?
859
00:49:46,367 --> 00:49:49,206
Actually she's not dead, Smithy.
860
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:50,967
She's living in South Africa
861
00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:53,929
where she went to get over the rape
by...um...
862
00:49:53,931 --> 00:49:55,131
What was his name?
863
00:49:55,732 --> 00:49:57,211
Wilmott Brown.
864
00:49:57,213 --> 00:49:58,572
That's the fella.
865
00:49:58,574 --> 00:50:00,253
I tell you who I miss.
866
00:50:00,255 --> 00:50:02,374
Mike Reid. Frank Butcher.
867
00:50:02,377 --> 00:50:05,656
Pat, Pat, Pat...
868
00:50:05,659 --> 00:50:07,339
I'M TRYING TO SORT IT OUT, PAT.
869
00:50:10,021 --> 00:50:11,381
That's Ted Rogers!
870
00:50:13,383 --> 00:50:14,902
You're thinking of Dusty Bin.
871
00:50:14,904 --> 00:50:17,783
What you got there, Pat?
872
00:50:17,786 --> 00:50:19,746
Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat!
873
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:24,388
Bloody hell. What is it?
874
00:50:26,511 --> 00:50:28,670
A keyboard? Yes!
875
00:50:28,673 --> 00:50:31,272
Pam, that's fantastic!
876
00:50:31,274 --> 00:50:33,273
Do you play, Mick?
You know, not really.
877
00:50:33,276 --> 00:50:35,235
Oh, he does! Don't listen to him!
878
00:50:35,237 --> 00:50:38,517
But not for years, Pam.
Ah, come here!
879
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,239
You like it? I love it.
880
00:50:42,241 --> 00:50:43,800
You never lose it, Mick.
881
00:50:43,802 --> 00:50:45,961
I hadn't picked up a
trumpet in 17 years.
882
00:50:45,963 --> 00:50:49,602
Jools Holland and the Big
Band were in town one night, they fancied a jam.
883
00:50:49,606 --> 00:50:52,765
Before I know it I'm up there playing
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.
884
00:50:52,768 --> 00:50:53,847
That was a crackin' night.
885
00:50:53,848 --> 00:50:54,887
Play something now, Dad!
886
00:50:54,889 --> 00:50:58,248
I can't, I've got to set it all up.
887
00:50:58,251 --> 00:51:00,170
Do you know Two Become
One by the Spice Girls.
888
00:51:00,172 --> 00:51:04,411
Look, just give me a minute to
work it all out, all right? Who's the next present?
889
00:51:04,415 --> 00:51:08,614
Right, well I got something I
wanna give to Nessa.
890
00:51:08,617 --> 00:51:10,376
I thought we weren't doing presents.
891
00:51:10,378 --> 00:51:12,658
Yeah, well, I just thought
I'd get you something.
892
00:51:18,383 --> 00:51:19,862
Cracking. Cheers, Dave.
893
00:51:19,864 --> 00:51:21,184
Look inside.
894
00:51:26,828 --> 00:51:30,067
Ness. I'm in love with you, I am.
895
00:51:30,070 --> 00:51:33,430
And I want you to be my wife.
896
00:51:38,516 --> 00:51:41,996
So whaddya say, Sugar Tits?
897
00:51:44,439 --> 00:51:47,278
Yeah. Fair do's. I will.
898
00:51:47,281 --> 00:51:49,001
Cracking.
899
00:51:52,364 --> 00:51:56,764
Oh my God, Ness! Congratulations.
900
00:52:09,054 --> 00:52:10,413
Oh, leave those, Gwen!
901
00:52:10,415 --> 00:52:12,494
That's why we've got a dishwasher.
902
00:52:12,497 --> 00:52:15,377
It's called Mick. It's all right
Pam, once it's done, it's done!
903
00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,938
I tell you what, Gwen.
904
00:52:18,941 --> 00:52:22,540
That turkey has taken over my
life the last couple of days.
905
00:52:22,543 --> 00:52:25,422
We've been soaking it,
basting it, and then resting it.
906
00:52:25,425 --> 00:52:27,904
And them leftovers,
we'll be chowdering them.
907
00:52:27,906 --> 00:52:30,705
It's a wonder he hasn't had
the bloody thing in bed with us!
908
00:52:30,708 --> 00:52:32,747
Well, it's the best
turkey we've ever tasted.
909
00:52:32,749 --> 00:52:35,428
Isn't that right, Jase?
I should say so.
910
00:52:35,431 --> 00:52:38,470
But then again, Dad used to make
us have pork chops on Christmas,
911
00:52:38,473 --> 00:52:40,312
so there's not much competition.
912
00:52:40,314 --> 00:52:42,953
I tell you what I'm partial to,
turkey omelette.
913
00:52:42,955 --> 00:52:47,314
Oh, right. Where's Bryn? Is he all
right? Yeah.
914
00:52:47,318 --> 00:52:48,877
He's having a little nap, he is.
915
00:52:48,879 --> 00:52:51,838
It's been a long day for him,
what with all the presents an' that.
916
00:52:51,841 --> 00:52:53,400
Oh, he loved yours, didn't he?
917
00:52:53,402 --> 00:52:57,521
What d'you get him again?
Sex And The City. DVD of the film.
918
00:52:57,524 --> 00:53:01,803
Thing is, I knew he'd like it
cos when it was out in the cinema, he watched it four times.
919
00:53:01,807 --> 00:53:03,406
Twice in one day. Really?
920
00:53:03,408 --> 00:53:06,007
He loves the character Big, he does.
And all the hats.
921
00:53:06,009 --> 00:53:09,808
The DVD extras on this
are out of this world.
922
00:53:09,812 --> 00:53:12,531
Bryn, we thought
you were having a snooze.
923
00:53:12,533 --> 00:53:16,852
I was, but you've got a DVD player
in that room and I couldn't resist.
924
00:53:16,856 --> 00:53:20,735
I tell you what,
they had a ball making this film.
925
00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:22,858
Kim Cattrell is an absolute hoot.
926
00:53:22,860 --> 00:53:24,459
And she's over 50, Pam.
927
00:53:24,461 --> 00:53:27,700
Oh, my god, this is so immense.
You're getting married, Ness!
928
00:53:27,703 --> 00:53:29,822
To Dave Coaches! I know.
929
00:53:29,824 --> 00:53:33,503
Is Coaches his surname?
Will you be Nessa Coaches? No.
930
00:53:33,506 --> 00:53:36,585
Anyone seen Smithy? Yeah,
he's out the back having a fag.
931
00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:39,307
Where are you gonna do it?
Where are you gonna get married?
932
00:53:39,310 --> 00:53:41,430
I should imagine in the mosque.
933
00:53:41,511 --> 00:53:44,630
Right,
who's up for some board games?
934
00:53:44,633 --> 00:53:46,153
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
935
00:53:51,197 --> 00:53:53,356
You all right, mate?
936
00:53:53,359 --> 00:53:55,318
Yeah.
937
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,719
You sure?
938
00:53:57,721 --> 00:54:01,001
Yeah. It's just been a bit of
a shit Christmas, that's all.
939
00:54:02,524 --> 00:54:07,524
You're moving down there, my son's
getting a new dad, they're all happy families.
940
00:54:09,048 --> 00:54:12,127
I just don't know what
I'm doing with myself.
941
00:54:12,130 --> 00:54:14,050
I know.
942
00:54:19,455 --> 00:54:20,495
Do you have to go?
943
00:54:22,777 --> 00:54:24,696
I mean, do you WANT to?
944
00:54:24,698 --> 00:54:26,697
Or are you just doing it for Stacey?
945
00:54:26,699 --> 00:54:29,898
I'm doing it for my marriage,
946
00:54:29,901 --> 00:54:32,180
for my wife.
947
00:54:32,182 --> 00:54:33,822
I have to put that first, Smith.
948
00:54:37,065 --> 00:54:39,504
But it just feels like
it's all changed so quickly.
949
00:54:39,507 --> 00:54:41,027
And it's still changing.
950
00:54:42,749 --> 00:54:44,748
I just feel a bit on my own, really.
951
00:54:44,750 --> 00:54:47,869
Oh, mate... I'll be all right.
952
00:54:47,872 --> 00:54:49,391
I wanna play Battleships.
953
00:54:49,393 --> 00:54:51,553
D'you fancy a game?
Yeah, I'll be in now.
954
00:54:58,279 --> 00:55:03,239
Look, I don't want you thinking I'm
going down there and everything's fine, cos I'm terrified.
955
00:55:04,642 --> 00:55:08,722
Not because I'm leaving Mum and Dad
or even that I'm moving to a new place.
956
00:55:10,966 --> 00:55:13,406
I'm terrified cos I
won't have you around.
957
00:55:15,529 --> 00:55:17,049
I know.
958
00:55:26,296 --> 00:55:27,615
Coming in?
959
00:55:27,617 --> 00:55:28,657
In a bit.
960
00:55:50,751 --> 00:55:53,391
Does he have a moustache?
961
00:55:54,593 --> 00:55:56,073
No.
962
00:56:00,677 --> 00:56:04,116
Does she have glasses?
963
00:56:04,119 --> 00:56:06,759
No.
964
00:56:08,362 --> 00:56:11,681
Is he bald? Yes.
965
00:56:11,684 --> 00:56:13,803
Ha, ha, ha!
966
00:56:13,805 --> 00:56:16,405
I've got a hunch I
know who he is, Jase!
967
00:56:17,487 --> 00:56:20,446
Mum, I can't stop eating.
Are you doing any ham or anything?
968
00:56:20,449 --> 00:56:23,088
Yeah, I'll do something in
a minute if anyone wants it.
969
00:56:23,091 --> 00:56:24,770
Back three.
970
00:56:24,772 --> 00:56:27,291
Yes! Nice one, Mum.
971
00:56:27,293 --> 00:56:30,692
D14. Hit. D15.
972
00:56:30,695 --> 00:56:32,294
Hit.
973
00:56:32,296 --> 00:56:35,135
Y11. Hit! Oh, this is ridiculous.
974
00:56:35,138 --> 00:56:38,257
You're hitting my boats on every go.
Have you looked at my board?
975
00:56:38,260 --> 00:56:39,939
No. I looked in your eyes.
976
00:56:39,941 --> 00:56:42,380
I can read you like a book, Stace.
977
00:56:42,383 --> 00:56:44,182
E12. Aw, Ness.
978
00:56:44,184 --> 00:56:45,823
Here we go!
979
00:56:45,825 --> 00:56:48,464
Oh. Let's sing something.
Let's have a sing-song!
980
00:56:48,466 --> 00:56:52,786
Well, hang on, I'm trying
to think of something I know all the way through.
981
00:56:54,070 --> 00:56:55,869
What about this one?
982
00:56:55,871 --> 00:57:00,190
Oh, I love this one!
983
00:57:00,194 --> 00:57:02,753
I know you do. Oh, Gwen.
984
00:57:02,755 --> 00:57:05,554
You take Neil, the baby,
I'm going for a smoke.
985
00:57:05,557 --> 00:57:11,436
♪ Have yourself a
merry little Christmas
986
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:16,519
♪ Let your heart be light
987
00:57:16,524 --> 00:57:22,444
♪ From now on our troubles
will be out of sight... ♪
988
00:57:29,932 --> 00:57:31,292
Alright? Yeah.
989
00:57:32,694 --> 00:57:34,173
You?
990
00:57:34,174 --> 00:57:35,534
Yeah.
991
00:57:41,259 --> 00:57:43,818
It's been a good day, hasn't...
Don't marry him.
992
00:57:43,820 --> 00:57:45,099
What?
993
00:57:45,101 --> 00:57:47,580
Don't marry him.
994
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:51,662
I'm not saying marry me, I don't
think that's what I'm saying,
995
00:57:51,665 --> 00:57:54,025
I'm just saying don't marry him.
996
00:57:55,708 --> 00:58:00,388
I don't think that you should marry
him.
997
00:58:07,315 --> 00:58:08,355
I'm going back in.
998
00:58:19,442 --> 00:58:24,641
♪ Faithful friends
who are dear to us
999
00:58:24,645 --> 00:58:29,685
♪ Gather near to us once more... ♪
1000
00:58:31,410 --> 00:58:33,569
I think you're gonna like
living in Barry.
1001
00:58:33,571 --> 00:58:34,610
I know.
1002
00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:36,691
You sounded like Nessa then.
1003
00:58:36,693 --> 00:58:40,653
IN WELSH ACCENT: I've been practising
the accent, if truth be told.
1004
00:58:44,938 --> 00:58:51,858
♪ Hang a shining star upon
the highest bow
1005
00:58:55,544 --> 00:58:59,503
♪ And have yourself
1006
00:58:59,507 --> 00:59:06,267
♪ A merry little Christmas now. ♪
1007
00:59:10,193 --> 00:59:11,672
CHEERING
1008
00:59:11,674 --> 00:59:12,833
Brilliant.
1009
00:59:12,835 --> 00:59:14,955
Happy Christmas, darling.
1010
00:59:17,518 --> 00:59:21,358
♪ Tell me tomorrow,
I'll wait by the window for you
1011
00:59:27,158 --> 00:59:30,678
♪ I'll wait by the big house for you
1012
00:59:34,758 --> 00:59:39,078
♪ I'll wait by the squeezebox for you
1013
00:59:42,878 --> 00:59:45,878
♪ I'll wait by your dresses for
you... ♪
1014
00:59:46,558 --> 00:59:51,638
Transcript: chocolate
Sync: boomer2
1015
00:59:51,688 --> 00:59:56,238
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
82149
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof