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1
00:00:01,180 --> 00:00:03,050
MR. OCCIPINTI: Come in,
people! Come on in!
2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:04,500
Find a seat.
3
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:05,910
This is gonna be awesome.
4
00:00:05,950 --> 00:00:07,850
I can't wait to get behind that wheel.
5
00:00:07,910 --> 00:00:09,440
Hang a Louie on the I-4.
6
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:12,220
Dude, I've already been driving
all summer with my parents.
7
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,550
Me too. Long trips.
8
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:16,820
I drive, my mom stares out the window,
9
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:18,606
and we both think of what
it would've been like
10
00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:19,870
if we never got out of Memphis.
11
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,530
I didn't know everyone was driving.
12
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,040
Don't worry, Eddie. I'm with you.
13
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:25,060
My sisters refuse to let me drive.
14
00:00:25,130 --> 00:00:26,970
They say I get too many leg spasms.
15
00:00:27,030 --> 00:00:28,880
Eddie, you have calm legs.
Why haven't you driven?
16
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,500
Have you met my parents?
17
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,530
Are you gonna have trouble
18
00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:32,750
getting them to sign
the permission slip?
19
00:00:32,770 --> 00:00:33,840
[THUMPS]
20
00:00:35,180 --> 00:00:37,879
Mnh. No. I have an airtight plan.
21
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:38,940
I'm going to hit up my dad
22
00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:41,180
during a monthly father-son
trip to the mustard shop.
23
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,450
Fancy mustard always
puts him in a good mood.
24
00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,180
[HORN HONKS "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT"]
25
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:49,960
What's up, suckers?
26
00:00:50,060 --> 00:00:51,390
Pretty nice day.
27
00:00:51,490 --> 00:00:52,920
Figured I'd ride my hog.
28
00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:54,830
How did you get your driver's license?
29
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:56,390
I'm older than you guys.
30
00:00:56,460 --> 00:00:58,379
I stayed back in second grade.
31
00:00:58,380 --> 00:00:59,600
On purpose.
32
00:00:59,670 --> 00:01:00,980
Liked the upcoming talent better.
33
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,730
What's it like? Driving?
34
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,440
On your own? No one
screaming at your leg?
35
00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:07,810
It's like... flying
36
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,270
while sitting down.
37
00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:15,380
Damn! I gotta get my license.
38
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,740
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
39
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,170
Permission slip for Driver's Ed.
40
00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:36,179
My airtight plan. How?
41
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,039
Your teachers may take the
summers off from you,
42
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,069
but not from me.
43
00:01:39,070 --> 00:01:40,270
I meet with them in July
44
00:01:40,370 --> 00:01:42,100
and go over the upcoming lesson plan.
45
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:43,480
Even I didn't know she did that.
46
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,140
Look, I need this. I'll do anything.
47
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,450
I'll... I'll cook. I'll clean.
48
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:47,990
I'll stop smelling bad...
49
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,800
Wait. You signed it?
50
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,080
Of course.
51
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,199
The quicker you can drive,
52
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,290
the quicker I can stop
being the family taximan.
53
00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:56,020
Oh, my God. Let's go right now.
54
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,740
No way. You learn on our car,
55
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,960
we'll need new brakes,
new bumpers, new rods.
56
00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,560
You can learn at school.
57
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,440
But that's months of classroom time
58
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:04,960
before we even get in the car!
59
00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:07,130
I know. I have the lesson plan.
60
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,059
What your mom means to say is,
61
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:11,569
this is a big responsibility.
62
00:02:11,570 --> 00:02:13,600
No need to rush. Enjoy the process.
63
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:15,610
This is the milestone
of young adulthood.
64
00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,310
I can think of a better one.
65
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:21,640
In Taiwan, I was driving
a bus when I was 11.
66
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:24,180
[SCOFFS] I didn't have the
luxury to take my time.
67
00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:25,580
I had to learn on the fly...
68
00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:28,150
with the constant fear
of delivering myself
69
00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:30,940
and a busload of commuters
to a fiery death.
70
00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:34,030
I lost my thermos on the first day.
71
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:43,019
I have some vacuuming to do,
but maybe after I finish,
72
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:44,470
we can continue our Boggle match?
73
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,600
[DICE RATTLING]
74
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,300
Sorry. I have a commitment later.
75
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,440
Oh, you have a commitment, do you?
76
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:52,060
I'd love to know what's more
important than Boggle Brothers.
77
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,740
Grandma invited me to hang
out at her new place.
78
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,950
It's the garage. The
old tenant was a car!
79
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:01,390
And in the future, when
we get invited out,
80
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:03,300
can you put it on the
calendar so I know?
81
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,680
Luckily, I keep my Saturdays light.
82
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,040
Actually, Grandma only invited me.
83
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,700
What?! We're a package deal.
84
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,700
Who invites butter but not the rolls?!
85
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,800
[SIGHS]
86
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,600
- I got you. I got you.
- [FUSSING]
87
00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:20,070
LOUIS: [CHUCKLES]
88
00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,770
Someone's a little fussy pants.
89
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,840
[CHUCKLES] A little?
I'm all fussy pants.
90
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,010
- [LAUGHS]
- [FUSSES]
91
00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,110
There we go. Okay.
92
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,780
- She just won't sleep, Lou.
- Mm.
93
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,460
I swear, Honey's serving up coffee milk.
94
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,180
- Can I drive?!
- Nope.
95
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,620
Where are you guys off to?
96
00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,760
Eddie and I are taking
our monthly excursion
97
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,170
to The Mustard Squeeze.
98
00:03:40,190 --> 00:03:43,120
Oh, man, I wish I had
had a dad like you.
99
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,880
- [CHUCKLES]
- You know, one that prepares
100
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,230
his son for the world
101
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,430
and everything in it.
102
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:48,600
I don't know about that.
103
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,630
I'm serious, Lou.
104
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,300
I was thrown to the wolves.
105
00:03:51,410 --> 00:03:52,670
No one protected me.
106
00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:53,810
No one taught me
107
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:56,220
that there were good and
bad mustards out there.
108
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,680
Your kid, no matter what
sandwich comes his way,
109
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,920
is gonna know what to put
on it because of you.
110
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,750
[CHUCKLES] Is this still about mustard?
111
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:05,600
Yeah. No.
112
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:06,990
I don't know.
113
00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:08,090
[SIGHS]
114
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,919
Well, you know, when Eddie was a baby
115
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,440
and wouldn't sleep, I'd put him
in the car and drive him around.
116
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,630
He'd pass right out.
117
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,290
- Just like that?
- Huh?
118
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,160
Works every time.
119
00:04:19,270 --> 00:04:22,600
- [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
- _
120
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,540
[ALL SPEAKING MANDARIN] _
121
00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:29,780
_
122
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,720
_
123
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,180
_
124
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,990
Why would you cover an
owl's cage at night?
125
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,320
They're nocturnal.
126
00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:43,760
Hmm.
127
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:47,290
I was looking for the
hourglass timer for Boggle.
128
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,490
Hope I didn't interrupt
anything important.
129
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,939
No. Grandma was just telling me
130
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,380
about how her and Yeye met.
131
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,430
Oh. I'd love to hear that story.
132
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,820
_
133
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,180
_
134
00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,979
I can just hold the wheel and steer
135
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:07,126
if you want to rest your arms.
136
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:08,210
I know what you're doing.
137
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,080
You think because I'm
full of gourmet mustard
138
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,540
and away from your mom, I'll give in.
139
00:05:11,550 --> 00:05:12,780
Nice try.
140
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:17,720
Oh, car trouble. I'm gonna
see if they need any help.
141
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,720
Stay in here.
142
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,160
Hey! You need some help?
143
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,360
I think it's just overheated.
144
00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:26,970
Probably just your rods.
145
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:28,830
[SIREN CHIRPS]
146
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,970
Oh. Hmm.
147
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,599
All right, sir,
148
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,216
can you tell me how you
caused the accident?
149
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,070
E-Excuse me?
150
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:37,460
No, it wasn't him. He was just...
151
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,760
No, you don't have to cover for him.
152
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,020
We all know whose fault it was.
153
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,770
Uh... his car overheated.
154
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,750
I pulled over to help.
There was no accident.
155
00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:45,380
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
156
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,250
Well, that's a nice surprise.
157
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:49,750
Normally, it's, you know...
[IMITATES RADIO DISPATCHER]
158
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:51,460
"We got another crash
on Sycamore due to,
159
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:53,930
you guessed it, Asians. Over."
160
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:56,390
Uh... what is that supposed to mean?
161
00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:58,680
Oh, come on, I'm joking.
162
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:01,400
You get it! [LAUGHS]
163
00:06:01,550 --> 00:06:03,350
I'm not a racist. Come on.
164
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:05,650
My... My training officer was Korean.
165
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,839
MARVIN: Man, I wish I
had a dad like you...
166
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,229
One that prepares his son
167
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,560
for the world and everything in it.
168
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,500
No one protected me.
169
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,906
No one taught me that there were
170
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,900
good and bad mustards out there.
171
00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:18,970
Hey, do you understand the words
172
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,246
that are coming out of my mouth?!
173
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:22,440
[CHUCKLES]
174
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:23,970
It's "Rush Hour."
175
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,840
[SCOFFS] It's the best
movie of the summer,
176
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,910
possibly of all time.
177
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,510
I, uh, haven't seen it.
178
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:30,040
How have you not seen it?
179
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,000
You would love it!
180
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:34,900
[LAUGHS]
181
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:39,290
I'm gonna teach you to drive.
182
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,300
You're gonna be the best
damn driver on the road.
183
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,890
Holy... nuts.
184
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,706
- Seriously?! What happened?
- [SEAT BELT CLICKS]
185
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:46,420
The officer was just reminding me
186
00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:47,930
how dangerous it is out there.
187
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,900
And it's my job to make
sure you're prepared.
188
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,680
This is the best mustard trip ever!
189
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,240
All right, hydrate,
190
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,860
do some light stretching,
and get some sleep.
191
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,020
Training starts tomorrow.
192
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,379
I can't believe I'm finally gonna drive.
193
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:04,140
I'm never walking into
another Wendy's in my life.
194
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:05,950
- Heeeey!
- Heeeey!
195
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,560
No mustard talk. It gives me a headache.
196
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,650
- Yep.
- We know!
197
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,950
- How you gonna convince her?
- Got an airtight plan.
198
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,290
First, a compliment... play to her ego.
199
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,020
Then a philosophical question
that we can debate for hours.
200
00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,960
Once I exhaust her argumentative powers,
201
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:20,990
I'll put on the charm, and she'll cave.
202
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,530
[SIGHS]
203
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,600
You're so good at
balancing the checkbook.
204
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,820
So... you ever think
they'll create a robot
205
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,860
that can feel joy?
206
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,550
No.
207
00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:42,180
Mmm...
208
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:45,940
I love you so much.
209
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,980
You are up to something.
210
00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:48,390
My airtight plan. How?!
211
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:49,520
Spill it.
212
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,460
I want to teach Eddie to drive.
213
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:55,240
He needs to be ready. More than ready.
214
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,280
No. We agreed.
215
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:57,839
I know, but I forgot about this
216
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,799
bad-Asian-driver stereotype.
217
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,020
You forgot about it?
218
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,600
You make those jokes all the time.
219
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:03,740
I do not!
220
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,080
What about this morning?
221
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,710
[THUMPING]
222
00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:12,040
[LAUGHS] Asian driver coming through!
223
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,580
It's okay, Louis.
224
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,510
We can joke about it. We are Asian.
225
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,060
Also, I back into the
trash cans twice a week.
226
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,476
That's because you're a careless driver,
227
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,510
not because you're Asian.
228
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,560
Are we sure?
229
00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:24,420
I'm joking. Kind of.
230
00:08:24,530 --> 00:08:26,076
I thought it was just a dumb thing, too,
231
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,430
until I realized Eddie's
going to be facing it now.
232
00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:30,300
I'm sure he knows all about it.
233
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,630
He's 15 and he reads Angry magazine.
234
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,080
It's MAD magazine.
235
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,200
And there's a huge difference
236
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:37,300
between reading clever satire at home
237
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,800
and being out there, vulnerable,
238
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:40,710
exposed to this nonsense.
239
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,710
I never thought about it that way.
240
00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:44,726
We stopped to help someone on
the side of the road today,
241
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,960
and the cop just assumed
that I caused an accident.
242
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:48,000
Did Eddie hear this?
243
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,820
No, but it's only a matter of time.
244
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,220
If he stops too short or
leaves the blinkers on,
245
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,590
it'll be thrown in his face,
246
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,640
even though everyone else
drives the same way!
247
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:58,390
People do stick their
finger up at me a lot.
248
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,340
Jessica, the stereotype's out there.
249
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:01,360
We can't change that.
250
00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:03,900
But we can try to protect our
son from it the best we can,
251
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:06,270
which means he has to be
doubly prepared, not less.
252
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,020
Okay, you can train him.
253
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,000
Really? Yes, I'm gonna go tell Eddie.
254
00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:14,390
Louis, sometimes he can be a
little slow on the uptake,
255
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,330
so better triple train him to be safe.
256
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,960
Where've you been?
257
00:09:22,030 --> 00:09:24,700
Went for a walk. Fresh air.
258
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:27,640
I've asked you to walk
with me and the HOA ladies
259
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,840
every day for four straight years.
260
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:33,800
Suddenly, tonight you catch a
hot case of walking fever?
261
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,290
I heard the moon was
really big, and I...
262
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:37,340
I saw your bike parked on
the side of the garage.
263
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,100
It always is now that
Grandma lives in there.
264
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:41,420
How long have these little
hangs been going on?
265
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:43,820
I don't know. When she
first moved out there,
266
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:44,880
I thought she'd be lonely,
267
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:46,590
so I brought her a
housewarming present...
268
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:47,860
a nice fern.
269
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,840
That's it! Of course!
270
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,350
She hasn't invited me out there
271
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:53,100
because she's mad I
didn't get her a gift.
272
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:54,410
Maybe.
273
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,940
Now to figure out what to get
274
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,620
for the woman who has everything.
275
00:09:58,650 --> 00:10:00,520
Did you get a pot to go with that fern?
276
00:10:00,590 --> 00:10:03,300
- Yeah.
- Ugh! Emery!
277
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,360
All right. Let's do this.
278
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,130
I promise to keep it under 75.
279
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:08,440
What's that?
280
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,230
Oh, it's your first lesson.
281
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,860
Whoa. Robbing a bank!
282
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:13,820
I'm gonna learn how to
drive getaway style!
283
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:15,270
No, it's a tire iron.
284
00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:16,680
You have to learn how the machine works
285
00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:18,480
before you can be expected to master it.
286
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:19,559
Rotate the tires.
287
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,800
Change the oil, the spark
plugs. Check the fluid.
288
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,060
My friends didn't have to
learn any of this nonsense.
289
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:26,050
They're already driving!
Brian has a hog!
290
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,650
I made a deal with your mom.
291
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,550
If you want to use our car,
292
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,280
you're gonna have to learn my way.
293
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,690
You gotta stop making deals with Mom.
294
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,490
She tricks you every time.
295
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,590
- Go!
- [STOPWATCH BEEPS]
296
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,570
10:00 and 2:00.
297
00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:49,900
Heavy mist.
298
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,270
Steady rain.
299
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,760
Downpour.
300
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,650
Brake. Accelerate.
301
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,100
- Right turn. Brake.
- [SQUEALS]
302
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:06,350
Rainbow Road!
303
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,400
Go!
304
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,790
10:00 and 2:00.
305
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:14,160
[STOPWATCH BEEPS]
306
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:17,700
[CHUCKLES]
307
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:19,970
I think you're ready.
Show me what you got.
308
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:23,170
Okay. I checked the tire pressure,
309
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,470
adjusted the mirror,
released the parking brake,
310
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,810
turned off the radio, and
buckled my seatbelt.
311
00:11:27,910 --> 00:11:29,540
Is that everything?
312
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,410
Forgot to check your blind spot.
313
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,100
No, I did. You just missed it.
314
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,620
Oh, yeah, Jessica?
315
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,850
I don't know how you
didn't smell my sunscreen.
316
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:41,890
You just got in an accident
317
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,380
because you didn't
check your blind spot.
318
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,740
I'm parked in my own driveway.
319
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,760
Most accidents happen
within a mile of home.
320
00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,800
- I'm at home!
- That's within a mile.
321
00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:50,600
We can try again next weekend.
322
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,720
Next weekend?!
323
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,870
Forget it. I'm just
gonna wait for school.
324
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,140
Listen, this is a big
moment in your life,
325
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,469
and I wanted it to be perfect.
326
00:11:57,470 --> 00:11:59,570
But the truth is, there's
this stereotype...
327
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,699
Asians suck at driving?
328
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,310
Yeah, I've heard that crap. Who cares?
329
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:03,700
You will! I know you.
330
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,090
When you get blamed for
every little thing
331
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,430
that goes wrong on the road
whether it's your fault or not.
332
00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:09,599
So, because people are stupid,
333
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,980
I have to do twice as much work?
334
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,420
I'm not saying it's fair.
335
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:14,919
Eddie, you can half-ass
this if you want.
336
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,420
Maybe add to the stereotype.
337
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,200
Or you can try to rail against it...
338
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,140
by being better.
339
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,590
It's your choice.
340
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:24,200
I hate that your "be the change"
speech always gets to me.
341
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,400
[KEYS RATTLE]
342
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,060
[DOOR MOTOR WHIRRING]
343
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,099
Like what you see? Take a picture.
344
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,539
It will last longer.
345
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:32,739
_
346
00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:34,210
Bearskin rug, eh?
347
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,340
_
348
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,080
So soft.
349
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:40,050
Maybe we all sit and break it in
350
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,280
while you finish the story
of how you met Yeye.
351
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,800
_
352
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,620
_
353
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,900
_
354
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,300
All right, what's the deal?
355
00:12:55,330 --> 00:12:58,060
I gave her a present 10 times
better than your lame-o fern,
356
00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,200
and she's still not giving
me the time of day.
357
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,870
Maybe you're trying too hard.
358
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:04,270
I'm not buying your cheese. Spill it!
359
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:07,140
Okay, Grandma doesn't like
telling her stories to you
360
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:09,999
because, well, you know how you are.
361
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,010
A delight?
362
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,510
You've been known to suck
the fun out of things.
363
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:16,300
Or as Grandma says, you're
a stick-in-the-mud.
364
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:17,820
[GASPS]
365
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,450
A stick-in-the-mud?!
366
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,510
I'll have you know a
367
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,890
beaver would call that
the start to a house!
368
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,360
I got to honk the horn
for the first time.
369
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,860
It felt so good!
370
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,900
Yeah, they say you never
forget your first.
371
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,760
I sure didn't.
372
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,170
Hooonnnnnk!
373
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:36,100
My dad says the most effective
honk is good defensive driving.
374
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,296
Why are you wearing those
gloves if you can't drive?
375
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,960
My sisters realized I can
be their designated driver.
376
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,860
Now they let me drive all the time.
377
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,080
Trish met a guy from Tampa in a bar,
378
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,500
and I cruised them all the way home
379
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:49,310
while they got busy in the back seat.
380
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,250
What?! You're driving now?!
381
00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:53,490
Welcome to Honktown.
382
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,340
_
383
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:03,460
_
384
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,000
_
385
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,730
Yeah, it's a good batch.
386
00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:08,240
[ENGINE REVS]
387
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:09,299
Oh...
388
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,760
_
389
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:14,940
_
390
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,840
I wonder if he's taking
Maria for a drive
391
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:18,120
to get her to sleep.
392
00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:22,780
What the hell?!
393
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:28,240
Eddie's on the lam! Where are my keys?
394
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,690
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [CRASHING]
395
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,059
Eddie!
396
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:35,900
Everyone's okay, Lou.
397
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,850
I was too tired to drive, so
Eddie was helping me out.
398
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:39,900
No one got hurt.
399
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,230
Oh, really? Bianca looks okay to you?
400
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,300
Eddie, what did you do?
401
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,470
Me? Why do you think I caused this?
402
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,070
Because you're inexperienced.
403
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:49,840
Brian just started driving, too.
Why don't you blame him?
404
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,710
Is it 'cause I'm Asian?
405
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:53,880
I don't see faces. I see cars.
406
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,399
Well, you didn't see mine!
407
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,020
Eddie's not at fault, Lou.
408
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,219
Old lead-foot here came
screaming around that corner
409
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,520
way too fast.
410
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:01,879
You are such a hypocrite.
411
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,590
You immediately blame me
'cause I'm the Asian driver.
412
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,079
That's not what I'm doing.
413
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,529
I just assumed because you...
414
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,340
Are Asian?! [SCOFFS] Just own it.
415
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,700
Everybody's a little
bit racist. Even you.
416
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:12,799
First you joke about it,
417
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,346
then you hate it, then you play into it?
418
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:15,370
Make up your mind!
419
00:15:15,430 --> 00:15:17,070
You weren't supposed
to be driving at all.
420
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,900
Your car. This isn't your car.
421
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,400
I have my learner's permit.
422
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,210
Not anymore. I'm taking it away.
423
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:24,110
Driving is a privilege, not a right.
424
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,560
Forget this, I'm out!
425
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,310
BRIAN: So, I guess we swap info
426
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:31,579
and let the claims adjusters
427
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,080
figure out who caused what?
428
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:40,760
Oh, sorry, I'll give you the room.
429
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,560
Don't want to be a stick-in-the-mud.
430
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:46,460
Oh, and I was thinking about it.
431
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,800
How is a stick-in-the-mud
a bad thing anyway?
432
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:50,770
If it's lying flat, you can step on it
433
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:51,860
to keep your shoes clean and...
434
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,570
You're doing it right now.
435
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,640
You pick apart every little detail.
436
00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:57,219
When someone's telling a story,
437
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:58,600
when they're watching TV...
438
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,580
I thought people liked
it when I corrected them
439
00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:01,700
so they can learn.
440
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,980
Not really. Especially not Grandma.
441
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,739
But if I were ever wrong,
442
00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,320
I'd want someone to correct me.
443
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,879
You're not like most people.
444
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,159
You're special that way.
445
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,520
But Grandma's stories are so...
446
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:13,960
Nonsensical? Who cares?
447
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,490
It's hard for me to enjoy something
448
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,290
when I know it's wrong.
449
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,090
The little voice in my brain won't quiet
450
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,560
until I fix the mistake.
451
00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:21,970
That's Mom's voice.
452
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,900
It's okay to turn it off
every now and then.
453
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:26,280
Really? We're allowed to do that?
454
00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:31,510
[GEARSHIFT CLICKS]
455
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:32,680
[CHUCKLES]
456
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:34,540
Wish they stayed that size forever.
457
00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:35,650
Yeah.
458
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,210
Hey, thanks for driving us around.
459
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,400
And again, sorry. I didn't know.
460
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:42,050
It's okay. He just doesn't get that.
461
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,570
That you're only trying to protect him.
462
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:44,860
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
463
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:47,219
Learning to drive is a huge
moment in a kid's life.
464
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,490
I didn't want this thing
to overshadow it.
465
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,720
I never thought I'd be the
one he first felt it from.
466
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,999
Well, look at the bright
side, Lou, it's the '90s.
467
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,270
People are getting hip.
468
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,230
All this race stuff is almost done with.
469
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,240
Who knew teaching your kid to
drive could be so complicated?
470
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:03,570
[LAUGHS] Yeah. It was the
same for me and Nicole.
471
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,220
It's crazy for every parent.
472
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,120
You know, it's a time
of very mixed emotions.
473
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,140
Not only is it one of the
last bonding moments,
474
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:12,560
but you're teaching them to
drive right out of the nest.
475
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,180
I didn't even think of that.
476
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,099
Yeah. Maybe sandbagging your kid
477
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,720
wasn't just to protect him.
478
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,800
Maybe part of it was that
you're just not ready
479
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,030
to have him go out and
get mustard without you.
480
00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,390
[CHUCKLES]
481
00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:29,640
_
482
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:33,260
_
483
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:37,860
_
484
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,760
_
485
00:17:42,050 --> 00:17:44,080
Hey. [CLEARS THROAT]
486
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,740
It has been pointed out to me
487
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,840
that I can be a stick-in-the-mud.
488
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,280
_
489
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:52,140
I tried to soften it.
490
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:56,020
Well, either way, it is a
habit I am trying to fix.
491
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:59,060
Until then, I figured I'd
fill my mouth with taffy
492
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,570
as insurance should I feel the
urge to enlighten ignorance.
493
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,200
Great.
494
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:08,510
Then I will stick this giant
piece of candy in my mouth
495
00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:10,000
and try to have a good time.
496
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,580
_
497
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,720
_
498
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,680
_
499
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,350
[LAUGHS]
500
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,240
_
501
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,960
_
502
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,579
[OWL SINGING OPERATICALLY]
503
00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,180
[CHUCKLES]
504
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,900
I might need some of that taffy.
505
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:44,810
Hey, playing some football?
506
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,820
Look, Eddie, when I was
a kid in Taiwan...
507
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:53,890
You drove a bus.
508
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,450
Hear me out.
509
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,250
Yes, I drove a bus.
510
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,039
But I learned to drive it in a place
511
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,360
where everyone was Asian.
512
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,690
Sounds chaotic.
513
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,700
It was a little hectic, yes,
514
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:05,776
but only because there were
so many people on the road.
515
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,330
Of course. Sure.
516
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:08,959
I know I exaggerate the story.
517
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,579
I take after your grandma in that way.
518
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:13,940
But the truth is, I had
fun learning to drive.
519
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,570
And then I came here and
it became less fun.
520
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,279
So I learned to beat people to the punch
521
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,240
by joking about it myself.
522
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:25,220
I don't know if making light
of it is good or bad or both.
523
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,320
I just want things to be easier for you.
524
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:33,100
And I appreciate you clicking
in on this particular instance,
525
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,640
but I deal with this
nonsense all the time.
526
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,190
Do you know how many
people have asked me
527
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,330
if I've seen "Rush Hour"?
528
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,400
Me too!
529
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,500
I guess you were more ready than I knew.
530
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,900
Dad, I'll be okay out there.
531
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,300
I promise.
532
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:50,000
And I know you were just
trying to look out for me.
533
00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:51,780
Yeah.
534
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:54,500
Also, maybe I was a little over-cautious
535
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,280
because I was having a
good time with you,
536
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,420
and I didn't want it to end.
537
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,700
Now, let's go grab the
rest of the family and
538
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,120
go to this movie everyone
thinks we need to see.
539
00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,680
It looks good.
540
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,860
I know.
541
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,200
Hey, you know what? I'm a little tired.
542
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,500
Why don't you drive?
543
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,100
Really?
544
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,880
Oh, these are just the old house keys.
545
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:20,160
That was the final test. You pass.
546
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,330
Well, what did everyone
think of the movie?
547
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,449
The black man who talked
like a girl was funny,
548
00:20:29,450 --> 00:20:31,470
but I thought there was
one too many cheap jokes
549
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,660
at the expense of Chinese stereotypes.
550
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:34,979
Coming from the lady who brought
551
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:36,380
food from home to the mall.
552
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,220
That's not a thing. It's just smart.
553
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,599
I'm just glad I got to see
554
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,540
some Asian representation
on the big screen.
555
00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:43,636
Well, I was impressed that
a movie called "Rush Hour"
556
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,950
never once made a bad-Asian-driver joke.
557
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:48,419
Maybe there's hope for America yet.
558
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:50,260
_
559
00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:52,420
_
560
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,480
- Okay, chopsticks.
- Oh.
561
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,900
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
562
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:04,500
Repair and Synchronization by
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