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1
00:00:03,383 --> 00:00:05,016
You sure they're gonna show?
2
00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:07,652
Hey, my hook-up always shows.
3
00:00:07,982 --> 00:00:09,208
Have I ever let you down?
4
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,451
Did you bring any hard candy,
like I asked?
5
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:12,414
No.
6
00:00:12,507 --> 00:00:13,799
There you go.
7
00:00:23,059 --> 00:00:23,968
[Car door closes]
8
00:00:24,339 --> 00:00:26,938
'Sup, Hector? This him?
9
00:00:32,411 --> 00:00:34,345
Think you can handle our product?
10
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:37,748
I got more handles than a yogurt shop.
11
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,221
Ghost peppers... Hottest in the world.
12
00:00:45,002 --> 00:00:46,005
[Chuckles]
13
00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:49,993
My ticket to winning the
North Orlando Chili Cook-off.
14
00:00:50,029 --> 00:00:51,462
Oh, it's gonna cost you.
15
00:00:51,497 --> 00:00:54,268
Well, then, it's a good thing
I own a semi-successful restaurant.
16
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:57,434
- How much?
- $1.75.
17
00:00:58,741 --> 00:00:59,803
Each.
18
00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:04,875
These guys are good.
19
00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:06,841
S02E17
Doing It Right
20
00:01:07,348 --> 00:01:08,679
Fresh off the boat
21
00:01:08,715 --> 00:01:10,381
I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go
22
00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:12,516
If you don't know,
homey, now you know
23
00:01:12,552 --> 00:01:13,784
Fresh off the boat
24
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:16,087
Homey,
you don't know where I come from
25
00:01:16,122 --> 00:01:17,655
But I know where I'm goin'
26
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:19,039
I'm fresh off the boat
27
00:01:19,123 --> 00:01:20,727
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:22,595 --> 00:01:25,997
Jessica:
[Sighs] The orderly flow of traffic.
29
00:01:26,032 --> 00:01:28,699
_
30
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,947
This is called "zippering."
31
00:01:31,031 --> 00:01:34,939
One car from one lane and
one car from another lane
32
00:01:35,008 --> 00:01:37,975
merge to form one single
lane of efficiency.
33
00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:40,077
It's amazing what society can learn
34
00:01:40,113 --> 00:01:41,312
from a pair of pants.
35
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,732
_
36
00:01:42,817 --> 00:01:44,482
_
37
00:01:44,517 --> 00:01:45,683
Excuse me.
38
00:01:46,266 --> 00:01:48,567
Excuse me, lady in the ugly vest?
39
00:01:48,655 --> 00:01:49,921
I'm sorry. Can I help you?
40
00:01:49,956 --> 00:01:53,031
Oh, no. I'm trying to help you.
41
00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:54,974
There's a better way to do your job.
42
00:01:55,069 --> 00:01:55,593
Is there?
43
00:01:55,629 --> 00:01:57,042
You should wear gloves
44
00:01:57,127 --> 00:01:59,449
so that we can see your
hands when you gesture.
45
00:01:59,523 --> 00:02:01,433
Much safer. Think about it.
46
00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:04,402
Have you ever seen a
dead mime in the street?
47
00:02:04,947 --> 00:02:07,505
[School bell ringing]
48
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,106
What is that?
49
00:02:09,142 --> 00:02:10,775
Well, it's the sun.
50
00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:14,612
Not our sun. Well,
I heard the moon is made out of cheese.
51
00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:16,634
You balance me out, J.J.
52
00:02:16,687 --> 00:02:18,349
That's why we're best friends.
53
00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:22,486
Hi, Mrs. Huang.
54
00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:24,155
It's five days till my birthday!
55
00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:25,990
Okay, thank you, J.J.
56
00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:27,992
Tomorrow, it'll be four days.
57
00:02:28,027 --> 00:02:31,495
Go to your own car now, J.J. Bye.
58
00:02:31,564 --> 00:02:33,664
Evan:
I can't wait for J.J.'s birthday party.
59
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:37,253
There's talk of a Grover ice-cream cake!
60
00:02:37,516 --> 00:02:39,606
Oh,
and look what I got on my science test.
61
00:02:39,902 --> 00:02:41,405
Oh. An A-plus.
62
00:02:43,476 --> 00:02:46,210
There it is! [Laughs]
63
00:02:46,245 --> 00:02:48,412
Nice work, my angel!
64
00:02:48,948 --> 00:02:52,850
Louis, you old sneak!
65
00:02:52,885 --> 00:02:55,386
Signing up for the North
Orlando Chili Cook-Off
66
00:02:55,421 --> 00:02:56,253
without telling me,
67
00:02:56,289 --> 00:02:57,455
you son of a gun!
68
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,657
Marvin,
I didn't know you were a chili man.
69
00:02:59,692 --> 00:03:01,310
You see this bad boy?
70
00:03:01,627 --> 00:03:02,827
It's for cooking the wild boar
71
00:03:02,895 --> 00:03:05,479
that's in my famous
Navy Razorback Chili.
72
00:03:05,648 --> 00:03:07,198
- Sounds pretty good.
- Pretty good?
73
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:10,001
My wild pig brew has won the
last five Golden Stockpots.
74
00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:12,169
You know, I'm not stranger to the ladle.
75
00:03:12,205 --> 00:03:14,805
I, uh, won a few chili
contests myself back in D.C.
76
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,374
- Oh, is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
77
00:03:16,409 --> 00:03:17,942
Well, down here in Orlando,
78
00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:19,744
we have a name for Yankee chili.
79
00:03:19,779 --> 00:03:21,345
It's called "soup."
80
00:03:22,415 --> 00:03:25,316
[Both laugh]
81
00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,609
You know what I think when
I eat Southern chili?
82
00:03:27,662 --> 00:03:28,253
What?
83
00:03:28,287 --> 00:03:31,589
I think, "This could use
a little Northern chili."
84
00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:40,331
So, I point to the old man's
shopping cart, and I say,
85
00:03:40,366 --> 00:03:44,038
"You're supposed to get
frozen foods last, not first.
86
00:03:44,164 --> 00:03:45,069
If that meat defrosts,
87
00:03:45,104 --> 00:03:47,338
you could get salmonella and die."
88
00:03:47,373 --> 00:03:49,940
You do have an eye for
other people's mistakes.
89
00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:51,308
Thank you.
90
00:03:52,078 --> 00:03:55,479
[Door closes] Anyone see my apron?!
91
00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:56,714
Don't mind him.
92
00:03:56,749 --> 00:03:59,483
Louis just gets obsessed with
these chili competitions.
93
00:03:59,519 --> 00:04:00,951
You don't have to tell me.
94
00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,853
Chili season's got my man, too.
95
00:04:02,889 --> 00:04:04,221
- Really?
- Yeah.
96
00:04:04,257 --> 00:04:06,357
I have to go help him
clean out our garage fridge
97
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:07,391
to store a pig.
98
00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:10,327
He insists on the head facing out.
99
00:04:10,363 --> 00:04:12,129
He says it honors the hog.
100
00:04:12,165 --> 00:04:13,297
Oh. I'll see you in a bit.
101
00:04:13,332 --> 00:04:14,965
- Okay.
- Bye.
102
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:17,568
After dinner,
can we watch "Caroline in the City"?
103
00:04:17,603 --> 00:04:19,170
- What?
- No way.
104
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,956
_
105
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,538
_
106
00:04:22,717 --> 00:04:25,476
Louis: Eddie,
you won't be watching any TV this week.
107
00:04:26,579 --> 00:04:27,812
You'll be helping me win
108
00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:31,148
the North Orlando Chili Cook-Off...
109
00:04:31,456 --> 00:04:32,950
as my apprentice.
110
00:04:32,985 --> 00:04:34,351
Really?! You never let me help.
111
00:04:34,387 --> 00:04:35,986
You said I have to be five pots tall.
112
00:04:36,022 --> 00:04:37,621
You are now, son.
113
00:04:37,657 --> 00:04:40,365
I'm so excited for you. [Chuckles]
114
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:42,626
You're giving me your apron?
115
00:04:42,662 --> 00:04:43,694
Yes, to hand-wash for me,
116
00:04:43,729 --> 00:04:45,383
and then you'll give it back to me.
117
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,434
Can we drink something else
besides water at dinner?
118
00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:51,469
No. Water hydrates you.
119
00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:53,370
And if you spill it,
it cleans, not stains.
120
00:04:53,406 --> 00:04:54,572
Very well.
121
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:55,873
One final question.
122
00:04:55,908 --> 00:04:57,875
Dad, can I have your old briefcase?
123
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:58,976
Why?
124
00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:00,578
I'd like to start carrying it to school
125
00:05:00,613 --> 00:05:02,446
to keep my papers crisp.
126
00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:04,461
But you already have a backpack.
127
00:05:04,514 --> 00:05:06,234
I didn't have a briefcase
until I was 30.
128
00:05:06,352 --> 00:05:08,486
[School bell rings]
129
00:05:11,257 --> 00:05:14,158
_
130
00:05:14,193 --> 00:05:15,559
If you hate this so much,
131
00:05:15,595 --> 00:05:17,561
why do you insist on coming along?
132
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,107
_
133
00:05:25,204 --> 00:05:26,370
[Sighs]
134
00:05:26,405 --> 00:05:28,806
And now it is my turn.
135
00:05:30,276 --> 00:05:32,109
Hey, it was my turn!
136
00:05:32,145 --> 00:05:33,844
She didn't zipper!
137
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,980
[Horn blares] Hey!
138
00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,248
Hey, you didn't zipper!
139
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:40,151
Hey. She didn't zipper!
140
00:05:40,186 --> 00:05:42,486
It's out of my un-gloved hands.
141
00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:46,223
Watch the car.
142
00:05:47,393 --> 00:05:50,255
Life never tells us
143
00:05:50,329 --> 00:05:50,804
Hey!
144
00:05:50,863 --> 00:05:51,722
The whens or whys
145
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,411
Hey! I know you see me!
146
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:54,182
When you've got friends
147
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,522
You cut me off
148
00:05:55,635 --> 00:05:57,635
when it was my turn to zipper!
149
00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:59,334
That's not how we drive around here!
150
00:05:59,439 --> 00:06:00,632
To wish you well
151
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,239
There's no zippering rule.
152
00:06:02,275 --> 00:06:03,707
It's more of a suggestion.
153
00:06:03,743 --> 00:06:04,708
Calm down.
154
00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:05,743
You will exhale
155
00:06:05,778 --> 00:06:07,478
"Calm down"?
156
00:06:07,513 --> 00:06:09,246
You calm down!
157
00:06:09,282 --> 00:06:10,681
You know what? Get out of the car.
158
00:06:10,716 --> 00:06:11,715
Shoo-be, doop, shoop, shoop
159
00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:13,784
Help, help, I'm being attacked!
160
00:06:13,819 --> 00:06:15,319
You're not being attacked.
161
00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:17,588
She's not being attacked.
162
00:06:17,623 --> 00:06:19,757
Nobody help this idiot.
163
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:21,158
You are a crazy lady.
164
00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:23,661
I can't believe somebody
gave you a driver's license
165
00:06:23,696 --> 00:06:26,943
because you're an unfit
driver and an idiot.
166
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,431
Evan: Mommy?
167
00:06:30,451 --> 00:06:31,302
J.J.: Oh, hi, mom.
168
00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:32,303
Hi, J.J.
169
00:06:32,338 --> 00:06:34,972
- Oh. Hi, Mrs. Huang.
- Hi, J.J.
170
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:42,207
You don't have to drive
all the way up to school.
171
00:06:42,242 --> 00:06:43,675
You can just drop us off here.
172
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:46,748
- Jessica: Here? Why?
- It's just calmer here.
173
00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,112
Is this about yesterday?
174
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,131
Listen,
sometimes when one adult is right,
175
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:52,650
they have to tell the other adult
176
00:06:52,685 --> 00:06:53,784
that they're wrong.
177
00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:55,720
But that was my best friend's mom.
178
00:06:55,755 --> 00:06:58,289
Well,
she drives like your worst friend's mom.
179
00:06:59,617 --> 00:07:00,825
[Chuckles]
180
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,226
The traffic disputes of adults
181
00:07:02,261 --> 00:07:04,395
have no impact on the
friendships of children.
182
00:07:05,798 --> 00:07:07,198
[School bell rings]
183
00:07:08,047 --> 00:07:09,355
Of course.
184
00:07:09,809 --> 00:07:11,369
Bye, mom.
185
00:07:11,404 --> 00:07:13,704
- Emery: Bye, mom.
- Bye.
186
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:14,739
Hey, Evan.
187
00:07:14,774 --> 00:07:16,674
Hi, J.J.
188
00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:18,409
You have a raisin on your neck.
189
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:19,477
Oh.
190
00:07:20,813 --> 00:07:22,553
- It's from breakfast.
- Ha!
191
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,220
Good. Now I have your fingerprints
192
00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:30,955
in case I need to send
them to the state.
193
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:32,256
Evan's not invited to
194
00:07:32,291 --> 00:07:34,458
J.J.'s birthday party this weekend.
195
00:07:39,516 --> 00:07:42,933
Son, welcome to the flavor dome.
196
00:07:44,203 --> 00:07:45,436
Cool. When do we eat.
197
00:07:45,471 --> 00:07:47,605
When the chili tells us it's ready.
198
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,673
This is the start of a family legacy,
199
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:51,509
like when an Italian grandmother
200
00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:53,210
passes down a meatball recipe.
201
00:07:53,246 --> 00:07:54,211
It's like, um,
202
00:07:54,247 --> 00:07:55,513
[Italian accent] "Mama Louis!"
203
00:07:56,022 --> 00:07:58,182
[Normal voice] Now, let's start
204
00:07:58,217 --> 00:08:00,851
by chopping up these onions.
205
00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:01,886
Whoa.
206
00:08:01,921 --> 00:08:03,754
You're gonna let me use this knife?
207
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:06,056
Of course. You're my apprentice.
208
00:08:08,161 --> 00:08:09,727
Any last words?
209
00:08:09,762 --> 00:08:12,663
Uh, maybe we work on some
knife skills first, okay?
210
00:08:12,698 --> 00:08:14,064
All right.
211
00:08:27,814 --> 00:08:30,714
[Both blowing]
212
00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:38,823
- Not bad.
- Not bad at all.
213
00:08:38,858 --> 00:08:40,491
[Screams] What are you doing?
214
00:08:40,526 --> 00:08:41,792
We spent forever on that!
215
00:08:43,563 --> 00:08:45,262
Eddie, what were your first words
216
00:08:45,298 --> 00:08:46,530
after you tried the chili?
217
00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:47,798
I said, "Not bad."
218
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:48,499
Exactly.
219
00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:50,423
"Not bad" isn't good enough.
220
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,036
And "good" isn't good enough, either.
221
00:08:52,071 --> 00:08:55,172
Marvin is out there cooking
a wild boar right now...
222
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,464
A pig from the forest.
223
00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:58,909
We need to reach higher
224
00:08:58,945 --> 00:09:01,412
if we want that Golden Stockpot.
225
00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:04,198
Okay, dad, if we're making this again,
226
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,717
I think we should toast
some cumin in some bacon fat
227
00:09:06,752 --> 00:09:07,818
before we put the meat in.
228
00:09:07,854 --> 00:09:09,186
Let me stop you right there.
229
00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:11,522
You know why your mom's
not allowed in the dome?
230
00:09:11,591 --> 00:09:12,690
Because she futzes.
231
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:13,724
She adds things.
232
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:15,626
"Oh, how about a little more oregano?
233
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:17,261
Let's add a sprig of rosemary."
234
00:09:17,296 --> 00:09:19,964
No! This isn't a bowl of jazz!
235
00:09:23,142 --> 00:09:25,168
Who does that woman think she is,
236
00:09:25,252 --> 00:09:28,272
deciding who can and can't
attend her son's birthday party?
237
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:29,773
She's not God.
238
00:09:29,809 --> 00:09:31,308
That's nice.
239
00:09:31,344 --> 00:09:33,345
Stop thinking about your chili!
240
00:09:34,147 --> 00:09:35,212
How am I supposed to tell Evan
241
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:37,681
he's not invited to
J.J.'s birthday party?
242
00:09:37,717 --> 00:09:39,704
Just apologize to her.
243
00:09:39,915 --> 00:09:41,552
Why would I apologize?
244
00:09:41,587 --> 00:09:43,387
She didn't zipper!
245
00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:45,222
She's the one who's wrong!
246
00:09:45,258 --> 00:09:46,190
Well, what would be wrong
247
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:47,625
is if Evan didn't go to the party
248
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:49,361
because of something you did.
249
00:09:49,829 --> 00:09:52,062
Honey: [Screams] Damn it, Marvin!
250
00:09:52,098 --> 00:09:54,265
Get this beast out of the garage fridge!
251
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,900
Marvin: We need to honor the hog!
252
00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:05,843
[Sighs]
253
00:10:08,614 --> 00:10:10,014
Let's start over.
254
00:10:10,049 --> 00:10:12,997
I'm Jessica, Evan's mother.
255
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:14,813
I'm Helen.
256
00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:16,887
Helen. That's a pretty name.
257
00:10:16,923 --> 00:10:20,224
It's like melon, a sweet fruit.
258
00:10:20,259 --> 00:10:24,328
I'm here because I would like to...
259
00:10:24,363 --> 00:10:27,865
acknowledge a mutual wrongdoing.
260
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:29,767
Okay...
261
00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:31,602
You didn't respect the zipper,
262
00:10:31,637 --> 00:10:33,904
and I lost my temper,
263
00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:36,715
even though I was
provoked by your error.
264
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:39,743
I think I'm being pretty clear.
265
00:10:39,779 --> 00:10:41,538
You're not.
266
00:10:43,491 --> 00:10:45,950
[Sighs] It is for Evan, my angel.
267
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,277
I am sorry.
268
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,724
Thank you very much for saying that.
269
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:55,159
I-I accept your apology.
270
00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:57,227
[Chuckles]
271
00:10:57,263 --> 00:11:00,810
Oh, I am so glad we put this behind us.
272
00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:03,701
Evan is so excited for
J.J.'s birthday party.
273
00:11:03,736 --> 00:11:06,146
Oh, Evan still isn't invited. Bye, now.
274
00:11:11,077 --> 00:11:13,177
Eddie! Why didn't you tell me?
275
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,779
- Tell you what?
- About your dad competing in NO-CO!
276
00:11:15,815 --> 00:11:18,515
The North Orlando Chili Cook-Off.
277
00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:20,702
Yeah, he's been making me help him out.
278
00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:22,853
Hold on.
279
00:11:22,888 --> 00:11:24,388
He's letting you chili apprentice?
280
00:11:24,423 --> 00:11:26,855
All we do is cook chili
and not eat any of it.
281
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,792
He keeps on saying it
needs to be better,
282
00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:30,861
but he doesn't take any of my ideas.
283
00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:32,062
You believe this guy?
284
00:11:32,098 --> 00:11:34,498
Two days in a chili kitchen,
thinks he knows everything.
285
00:11:34,907 --> 00:11:36,667
Why would your dad listen to you?
286
00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:37,835
You're not a chef.
287
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,303
Yeah, but I know food.
288
00:11:39,338 --> 00:11:40,604
Blindfold me in a Baskin-Robbins,
289
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,772
and I'll name all 31 flavors.
290
00:11:41,807 --> 00:11:42,906
You're the apprentice.
291
00:11:42,942 --> 00:11:44,642
You're supposed to shut up,
listen, and learn.
292
00:11:44,677 --> 00:11:46,458
But I'm not good at any of those things.
293
00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:47,978
Forget this.
294
00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:49,780
I'm done cooking with my dad.
295
00:11:51,324 --> 00:11:51,872
[Scoffs]
296
00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:54,351
You need to take that attitude
to a pie-eating contest
297
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,186
where it belongs!
298
00:12:01,234 --> 00:12:03,360
Mom,
which outfit should I wear to J.J.'s?
299
00:12:03,396 --> 00:12:05,663
I want something I can knock around in,
300
00:12:05,698 --> 00:12:07,698
but my knees have been ashy lately,
301
00:12:07,733 --> 00:12:09,333
so shorts are out.
302
00:12:09,368 --> 00:12:10,834
[Sighs]
303
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:11,935
Evan, sit down.
304
00:12:11,971 --> 00:12:13,604
There's something I have to tell you.
305
00:12:13,639 --> 00:12:14,605
What is it?
306
00:12:15,841 --> 00:12:16,807
I...
307
00:12:19,376 --> 00:12:22,079
I have to get gas on the way to J.J.'s.
308
00:12:22,114 --> 00:12:24,381
Oh, then we need to
leave 10 minutes earlier.
309
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:26,479
I better hustle into the shower.
310
00:12:28,521 --> 00:12:31,188
The Mobil on 5th is 10 cents cheaper.
[Screams]
311
00:12:31,223 --> 00:12:33,909
Emery, we have to get you a cat bell.
312
00:12:34,035 --> 00:12:36,093
Announce yourself when
I come into the room.
313
00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:37,594
Good God!
314
00:12:38,165 --> 00:12:39,463
- Ohh!
- Hmm.
315
00:12:39,498 --> 00:12:40,798
[Doorbell rings]
316
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,533
[Indistinct conversations]
317
00:12:42,568 --> 00:12:44,571
Hello, Helen. Evan is here?
318
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:47,093
You guys, I'm here!
319
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,872
What are you doing?
320
00:12:48,908 --> 00:12:50,641
You can't just crash my
son's birthday party.
321
00:12:50,676 --> 00:12:52,409
Evan doesn't deserve to miss out
322
00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:54,278
because you have a problem with me.
323
00:12:54,313 --> 00:12:56,013
We shouldn't make this about us.
324
00:12:56,048 --> 00:12:58,482
No, we shouldn't,
because it's not about us.
325
00:12:58,517 --> 00:12:59,450
It's about Evan.
326
00:12:59,485 --> 00:13:00,951
What are you talking about.
327
00:13:00,986 --> 00:13:02,486
[Scoffs]
328
00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:04,188
That's why I didn't want him here.
329
00:13:04,223 --> 00:13:05,089
See for yourself.
330
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:06,423
Evan: No, no, no, no, no.
331
00:13:06,459 --> 00:13:08,025
You're doing it wrong.
332
00:13:08,094 --> 00:13:12,629
What are pirate Lego men
doing at a construction site?
333
00:13:12,665 --> 00:13:14,631
Tear this down and start again.
334
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:15,733
Okay!
335
00:13:16,635 --> 00:13:18,416
My son is a gentle spirit,
336
00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,870
and I don't like the
way your son treats him.
337
00:13:19,905 --> 00:13:21,505
That's why I didn't want him here.
338
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:25,914
My job is to protect J.J.
from your little bossy boots.
339
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:27,544
Evan's not bossy boots!
340
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,113
He's angel boots!
341
00:13:29,148 --> 00:13:30,114
[Scoffs]
342
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:33,671
What... on earth... is that?
343
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:35,571
It's the... Don't say it's the sun.
344
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:42,745
Evan was really bossing
his friend around?
345
00:13:42,818 --> 00:13:45,552
Sweet little Evan in his cute,
little khakis?
346
00:13:45,588 --> 00:13:47,454
The ones with the pleats, yes.
347
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,824
I just don't know where he
learns this type of behavior.
348
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:52,459
You're kidding, right?
349
00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:55,262
He gets it from you, Jessica.
350
00:13:55,297 --> 00:13:57,164
What?! No, he doesn't.
351
00:13:57,199 --> 00:13:58,699
Yes, he does.
352
00:13:58,734 --> 00:14:02,202
- I think he just looks up to you.
- You're not doing it right.
353
00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:03,737
- Sorry?
- Your sandwich...
354
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:05,601
The mustard needs to
go on the bread first
355
00:14:05,675 --> 00:14:09,076
to form a moisture barrier
between it and the tomato.
356
00:14:09,111 --> 00:14:11,044
Tear it down. Start again.
357
00:14:13,048 --> 00:14:14,481
Oh, my God.
358
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,985
You've never made a proper sandwich.
359
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,187
Or you're bossy.
360
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:24,591
You just love pointing
out people's mistakes.
361
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:27,027
I thought that was a compliment.
362
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:31,131
Gus: Good afternoon, Orlando.
363
00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:32,866
This is "Good Morning, Orlando."
364
00:14:32,902 --> 00:14:34,301
And let me tell you, Mey-Mey,
365
00:14:34,336 --> 00:14:36,703
we are having an awful
lot of fun here at NO-CO.
366
00:14:36,739 --> 00:14:37,222
[Chuckles]
367
00:14:37,264 --> 00:14:39,206
Not really, Gus, but what can you do?
368
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:40,607
You got to go where they send you.
369
00:14:40,643 --> 00:14:41,043
[Chuckles]
370
00:14:41,116 --> 00:14:42,457
Now let's meet the judges
371
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,403
who will be awarding the
coveted Golden Stockpot
372
00:14:45,445 --> 00:14:46,580
to the winner.
373
00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:47,848
Hi. Hello!
374
00:14:47,883 --> 00:14:49,049
[Both laugh]
375
00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:49,920
It's us. That's right.
376
00:14:49,952 --> 00:14:52,086
Not only are we reporting on the chili,
377
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:53,487
but we're also judging it.
378
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:57,058
Ohh, things are about to get caliente!
379
00:14:58,224 --> 00:15:00,483
I see you brought your Golden Stockpots.
380
00:15:00,578 --> 00:15:03,664
Ah, I only brought them
to hold down my banner.
381
00:15:03,699 --> 00:15:05,966
[Chuckles]
382
00:15:06,498 --> 00:15:07,968
Are you posing for a picture, Marvin?
383
00:15:08,004 --> 00:15:10,337
Oh,
just in case someone wants to take one.
384
00:15:11,407 --> 00:15:13,207
- Here you go.
- Ha. Thanks.
385
00:15:13,242 --> 00:15:15,276
- Mm-hmm.
- Official list of all your competitors.
386
00:15:15,311 --> 00:15:16,811
Good luck.
387
00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:19,380
Wow, there's a lot of entries on here.
388
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:21,282
Big Daddy Huang?
389
00:15:21,317 --> 00:15:23,301
That's not right. I'm Louis' Five Alarm.
390
00:15:23,365 --> 00:15:24,473
Eddie: That's me.
391
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,253
I'm Big Daddy Huang.
392
00:15:26,289 --> 00:15:28,522
- What?
- Sorry, dad.
393
00:15:28,558 --> 00:15:30,224
I'm done being your apprentice.
394
00:15:30,259 --> 00:15:32,460
We've been cooking for three days.
395
00:15:32,495 --> 00:15:33,594
Exactly.
396
00:15:33,629 --> 00:15:35,529
And you didn't take a
single one of my ideas.
397
00:15:35,565 --> 00:15:36,597
I'm not about that.
398
00:15:36,632 --> 00:15:38,599
I got to break these chains.
399
00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,835
Fine, you want to make your own chili?
400
00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:43,804
Like the French candle says in
"Beauty and the Beast,"
401
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,539
"Be My Guest."
402
00:15:45,575 --> 00:15:47,875
Everybody over here
Get on up
403
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:49,643
Everybody right there
Get into it
404
00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:50,845
Everybody over there
405
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,914
Get involved
Everybody just, ohh
406
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:56,083
Man: [Rapping]
Microphone check,
Microphone check
407
00:15:56,119 --> 00:15:57,985
Can I get a check-up
from the neck up?
408
00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,154
Can I kick a rhyme while
I'm checkin' my time?
409
00:16:00,189 --> 00:16:02,389
Can I get cure
'cause you did the crime for sure?
410
00:16:02,425 --> 00:16:05,126
You're probably killin'
me with these shots
411
00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:07,128
Tell me what I got and I'm gone
412
00:16:07,163 --> 00:16:08,529
Pandemic, who did it?
413
00:16:08,564 --> 00:16:10,731
Right, who did it?
That's who did it
414
00:16:10,766 --> 00:16:13,100
Who?
World Health Organized, murderized
415
00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:14,869
Came to the aid and got paid
416
00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:17,404
Doctor, doctor in a lab
concocted a germ warfare...
417
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,445
Emery, go get us some Tums
from the Tums tent.
418
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:20,532
On it.
419
00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:22,943
[Sighs]
420
00:16:22,979 --> 00:16:25,079
Let's sit down for a minute, okay?
421
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:29,750
I saw you at J.J.'s party.
422
00:16:29,785 --> 00:16:30,818
I saw you, too.
423
00:16:30,853 --> 00:16:32,253
You brought me there.
424
00:16:32,288 --> 00:16:34,989
No, I mean I saw the way
you were talking to him,
425
00:16:35,024 --> 00:16:36,690
bossing him around like that,
426
00:16:36,726 --> 00:16:38,125
forcing him to start over,
427
00:16:38,161 --> 00:16:39,927
making him change his outfit.
428
00:16:39,962 --> 00:16:41,328
Oh.
429
00:16:41,364 --> 00:16:43,230
And I know why.
430
00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:46,901
You're trying to be like
me because you worship me.
431
00:16:46,936 --> 00:16:48,068
No, I don't.
432
00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:49,537
- Yes, you do.
- I don't.
433
00:16:49,572 --> 00:16:51,839
You do. You worship your mommy.
434
00:16:51,874 --> 00:16:53,440
I am your shining star,
435
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:54,909
and you want to be just like me.
436
00:16:54,944 --> 00:16:57,111
Why else would you boss your
friend around like that?
437
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,145
I don't know.
438
00:16:58,181 --> 00:16:59,914
I guess because he listens to me.
439
00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:01,048
What do you mean?
440
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,050
No one at home ever listens to me.
441
00:17:03,085 --> 00:17:04,385
Of course we do.
442
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:05,786
We listen to you.
443
00:17:05,821 --> 00:17:07,087
No, you don't.
444
00:17:07,123 --> 00:17:09,657
After dinner,
can we watch "Caroline in the City"?
445
00:17:09,692 --> 00:17:10,691
- What?
- No way.
446
00:17:10,726 --> 00:17:12,826
Dad, can I have your old briefcase?
447
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:14,227
But you already have a backpack.
448
00:17:14,269 --> 00:17:15,863
I didn't have a briefcase
until I was 30.
449
00:17:16,465 --> 00:17:18,499
_
450
00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:19,767
Huh?
451
00:17:20,095 --> 00:17:22,269
[Speaking Chinese] The Garfield.
452
00:17:23,272 --> 00:17:24,905
Why didn't you tell
me you felt this way?
453
00:17:24,941 --> 00:17:26,840
Because you wouldn't have listened.
454
00:17:28,778 --> 00:17:31,212
I guess sometimes it's
hard being the youngest.
455
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:37,117
Hey. I know how you feel.
456
00:17:37,782 --> 00:17:40,821
Your Aunt Connie never listened to me.
457
00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:43,090
That's why her life is such a mess now.
458
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,491
[Chuckles]
459
00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:47,828
I bought all the regular-strength Tums.
460
00:17:47,863 --> 00:17:49,430
Exchange them for Extra Strength?
461
00:17:49,465 --> 00:17:50,531
Yes.
462
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,335
[Indistinct conversations]
463
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:56,637
Where are all your measuring cups?
464
00:17:56,672 --> 00:17:58,360
Up here. Want a taste?
465
00:18:04,113 --> 00:18:05,045
What's wrong?
466
00:18:05,081 --> 00:18:06,836
Eddie, that's delicious.
467
00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:09,450
There's no way you
made this from scratch.
468
00:18:09,485 --> 00:18:10,584
[Bell clanging]
469
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,720
- Gus: Gather around.
- Where's the intern?
470
00:18:12,755 --> 00:18:14,388
I need another towel.
471
00:18:14,423 --> 00:18:15,522
Ashley!
472
00:18:15,558 --> 00:18:16,724
All right, everyone,
473
00:18:16,759 --> 00:18:18,759
before we announce our finalists,
474
00:18:18,794 --> 00:18:20,894
we have some unfortunate news.
475
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,963
An entrant has been disqualified
476
00:18:22,999 --> 00:18:24,898
for using pre-cooked meat. I knew it.
477
00:18:24,934 --> 00:18:26,233
[Crowd murmurs]
478
00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:27,901
That's right, Gus.
479
00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:29,069
It's Marvin!
480
00:18:29,105 --> 00:18:30,904
[Crowd murmurs]
481
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:32,606
Apparently, Marvin not only told us,
482
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:34,808
but fed us...
483
00:18:34,844 --> 00:18:35,809
a Whopper.
484
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:36,910
[Crowd booing]
485
00:18:36,946 --> 00:18:38,112
I did it for the chili.
486
00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:39,647
Take him away. [Spits]
487
00:18:39,682 --> 00:18:41,600
I can walk.
488
00:18:41,769 --> 00:18:43,890
You all ate it and loved it!
489
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,224
None of us are innocent.
490
00:18:46,277 --> 00:18:48,822
And now let's move on
to the three finalists.
491
00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:50,973
First we have...
492
00:18:51,694 --> 00:18:53,394
Louis' Five Alarm!
493
00:18:53,429 --> 00:18:55,496
Yeah, Louis! [Laughs] Delicious.
494
00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:58,399
[Cheers and applause] Next
we have Big Daddy Huang!
495
00:18:58,434 --> 00:19:00,000
Whoo! [Cheers and applause]
496
00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:02,236
And lastly, Gloria's Chili!
497
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,270
Whoo!
498
00:19:03,306 --> 00:19:05,139
Gloria! Gloria!
499
00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:09,510
And the Golden Stockpot goes to...
500
00:19:16,719 --> 00:19:18,552
Looks great, doesn't it?
501
00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,088
I can't believe Gloria
just gave it to us.
502
00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:23,390
Well, lucky for us,
she thinks pride is a sin.
503
00:19:23,426 --> 00:19:24,158
Hmm.
504
00:19:24,193 --> 00:19:25,526
You know, I have to say
505
00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:27,928
I was really impressed with your chili.
506
00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:29,763
- Really?!
- How'd you learn to do that?
507
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:31,532
I guess I just know food.
508
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:33,678
Thanks for teaching me the basics.
509
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,135
Oh, the basics?
510
00:19:35,171 --> 00:19:36,570
[Chuckles] Okay.
511
00:19:36,605 --> 00:19:39,239
It has been brought to my attention
512
00:19:39,816 --> 00:19:43,143
that Evan feels like nobody
listens to him around here.
513
00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:44,778
So tonight,
514
00:19:44,814 --> 00:19:47,181
he gets to choose what
we drink with dinner.
515
00:19:47,216 --> 00:19:48,082
Really?
516
00:19:48,117 --> 00:19:49,783
Why does he get to choose?
517
00:19:49,819 --> 00:19:51,174
_
518
00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:52,915
_
519
00:19:52,988 --> 00:19:55,789
You will all drink what Evan decides,
and you will like it!
520
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,391
Okay, go ahead, Evan.
521
00:19:57,426 --> 00:19:58,826
Anything you want.
522
00:19:59,397 --> 00:20:01,261
I choose...
523
00:20:01,297 --> 00:20:02,329
Shirley Temples.
524
00:20:02,365 --> 00:20:03,297
Ohh.
525
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:04,465
What is that?
526
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,500
It's 7-Up with grenadine and cherries.
527
00:20:06,535 --> 00:20:08,936
I don't have any of those ingredients,
so...
528
00:20:08,971 --> 00:20:10,637
Then we'll just have
passion fruit nectar.
529
00:20:11,874 --> 00:20:13,216
Strawberry Fanta?
530
00:20:14,398 --> 00:20:15,823
Ginger Fizz-Bit?
531
00:20:16,912 --> 00:20:17,722
[Groans]
532
00:20:20,321 --> 00:20:21,487
Hi, J.J.
533
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:22,521
Hi, Evan.
534
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:25,825
It's 362 days until my birthday.
535
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:26,959
I'll time out my haircuts
536
00:20:26,995 --> 00:20:28,527
so I can get one the day before.
537
00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:29,910
Oh.
538
00:20:30,632 --> 00:20:31,931
What do you think?
539
00:20:31,966 --> 00:20:33,099
It's a picture of my brother.
540
00:20:33,134 --> 00:20:36,235
We can't have a dog
because of his allergies.
541
00:20:36,813 --> 00:20:37,847
I like it.
542
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,372
Really?
543
00:20:39,407 --> 00:20:41,674
You don't think there's
anything I should change?
544
00:20:41,709 --> 00:20:43,018
No, it's great.
545
00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:49,348
Nice hard backpack.
546
00:20:49,384 --> 00:20:50,416
It's a briefcase.
547
00:20:50,451 --> 00:20:52,918
[Laughing]
548
00:20:57,084 --> 00:20:58,689
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
549
00:20:58,739 --> 00:21:03,289
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