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1
00:00:02,344 --> 00:00:04,937
- MEL TORME!
YEAH, MY MAN.
2
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:07,596
THE VELVET FOG.
YES, SIR.
3
00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:09,775
VIC DAMONE.
4
00:00:09,894 --> 00:00:11,792
GREAT SET OF PIPES
OVER THERE.
5
00:00:12,863 --> 00:00:15,278
DINAH SHORE.
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
6
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,932
BOY, CAN SHE PUTT.
[chuckles]
7
00:00:21,305 --> 00:00:22,773
WHAT ELSE WE GOT?
[doorbell rings]
8
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,112
OH, OKAY.
9
00:00:26,377 --> 00:00:27,543
[Dreyfuss panting]
10
00:00:27,578 --> 00:00:28,877
DREYFIE?
11
00:00:28,913 --> 00:00:30,979
- I FOUND HIM
OVER ON GREENWOOD STREET.
12
00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:32,648
- OH, OH. COME IN.
13
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:34,983
DREYF, HOW DID YOU
GET OUT AGAIN?
14
00:00:35,019 --> 00:00:37,342
- YOU KNOW, I SAW
"DR. WESTON" ON THE TAG,
15
00:00:37,389 --> 00:00:38,893
AND I WONDERED
IF IT WAS YOU.
16
00:00:38,989 --> 00:00:40,322
IT IS YOU.
17
00:00:42,726 --> 00:00:44,326
- WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
18
00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:46,756
UM, DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER?
19
00:00:46,819 --> 00:00:48,363
- MARTY'S COFFEE SHOP?
20
00:00:48,399 --> 00:00:51,337
YOU USED TO BE GRIDDLE CAKES,
NO BUTTER, SYRUP ON THE SIDE,
21
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:54,570
TOAST DRY, HALF A GLASS OF WATER
WITH ONE ICE CUBE.
22
00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:56,496
YOU WERE NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
23
00:00:57,643 --> 00:01:00,652
- OH, YEAH.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE, UM,
24
00:01:00,753 --> 00:01:02,572
DON'T TELL ME,
DON'T--DON'T TELL ME.
25
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,164
DON'T TELL ME.
26
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,405
YOU'RE...
27
00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:09,369
TELL ME.
28
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,217
- DORIS.
29
00:01:12,586 --> 00:01:15,885
- OH, YES. DORIS, DORIS.
SIT DOWN.
30
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,764
GEE, I HAVEN'T BEEN IN MARTY'S
PLACE IN, I DON'T KNOW, AGES.
31
00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:21,231
- NO ONE HAS.
32
00:01:21,524 --> 00:01:24,195
MARTY BURNED IT DOWN
FOR THE INSURANCE.
33
00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:28,487
- SO, HOW HAVE YOU
BEEN DOING?
34
00:01:28,572 --> 00:01:30,430
- OKAY, I GUESS.
35
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,509
- WELL, MY SISTER
DIED LAST YEAR.
36
00:01:33,544 --> 00:01:35,778
- OH, I'M, I'M SO SORRY
TO HEAR THAT.
37
00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:37,112
THAT MUST BE REAL HARD.
38
00:01:37,148 --> 00:01:38,847
- OH, I'M FINE, DR. WESTON.
39
00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:40,770
I HAVE MY MACRAME.
40
00:01:43,087 --> 00:01:45,107
- YOU KNOW,
IT-IT-IT MIGHT HELP
41
00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:46,955
TO BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE.
42
00:01:46,991 --> 00:01:50,062
- I'D HATE TO NEGLECT
MY MACRAME.
43
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:53,462
- YEAH, YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
44
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:56,392
BUT YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VOLUNTEERING
AT THE CANAL STREET CLINIC,
45
00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:58,935
AND IT'S--
AND IT'S VERY REWARDING.
46
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:01,403
AND, WELL, WE COULD
USE SOME HELP.
47
00:02:01,438 --> 00:02:03,071
- DO YOU THINK I COULD?
48
00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:05,264
I REALLY ENJOY
HELPING PEOPLE.
49
00:02:06,777 --> 00:02:09,178
YEAH, I THINK
I'D LIKE TO TRY THAT.
50
00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,079
- GREAT!
THAT'S GOOD, TERRIFIC.
51
00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:12,993
WELL, I LOOK FORWARD
TO SEEING YOU DOWN THERE.
52
00:02:13,185 --> 00:02:15,029
- OH, HEY,
CAN I BORROW THIS?
53
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,402
- SURE.
- I JUST LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON.
54
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:20,416
- TH-TH-THAT'S LENA--
THAT'S--THAT'S LENA HORNE.
55
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:29,047
-
LIFE GOES ON, AND SO DO WE
56
00:03:26,025 --> 00:03:28,087
- LAVERNE, WHEN'S DELIVERY
ON THAT X-RAY FILM?
57
00:03:28,127 --> 00:03:29,627
- AH, DON'T FRET,
DR. DOUGLAS.
58
00:03:29,662 --> 00:03:32,028
I'M ON IT LIKE
A CHICKEN ON A JUNE BUG.
59
00:03:33,429 --> 00:03:34,959
GIVE ME THE LEO
IN SHIPPIN'.
60
00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:36,459
- DR. WESTON.
61
00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:40,526
- OH, DORIS, HI!
YEAH, I'M GLAD YOU CAME DOWN.
62
00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:42,861
WAIT. EXCUSE ME
JUST FOR A MOMENT.
63
00:03:42,897 --> 00:03:44,430
MAXINE, DEAR, UH...
64
00:03:44,465 --> 00:03:46,064
I'M SORRY, I MEANT
TO RUN THIS BY YOU,
65
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,368
BUT THIS IS DORIS, AND SHE'S
INTERESTED IN VOLUNTEERING.
66
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:50,885
- A VOLUNTEER?
67
00:03:51,305 --> 00:03:53,539
HI. I'M DR. DOUGLAS.
YOU GET ONE WEEK OFF IN AUGUST.
68
00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:54,973
- I GUESS I SHOULD TELL YOU
69
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:57,209
THAT I DON'T HAVE
MUCH BACKGROUND IN THIS.
70
00:03:57,244 --> 00:03:58,777
- ANY MEDICAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL?
- NO.
71
00:03:58,813 --> 00:04:00,145
- ADMINISTRATIVE?
- NOT REALLY.
72
00:04:00,181 --> 00:04:01,814
- EVER SEEN GENERAL HOSPITAL?
- OH, SURE.
73
00:04:01,849 --> 00:04:03,388
- WELCOME TO THE TEAM.
74
00:04:06,253 --> 00:04:07,719
- OH, HERE.
75
00:04:07,755 --> 00:04:09,188
LAVERNE, LAVERNE,
THIS IS DORIS.
76
00:04:09,223 --> 00:04:10,651
SHE'S GONNA HELP OUT
AROUND HERE.
77
00:04:10,706 --> 00:04:13,372
- WELL, PRAISE THE LORD
AND PASS THE AMMUNITION.
78
00:04:14,728 --> 00:04:18,464
LEO! YEAH. IF YOU
DON'T GET ME THAT X-RAY FILM
79
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:21,776
BY THE END OF THE DAY,
YOU GONNA BE NEEDIN' X-RAYS.
80
00:04:22,903 --> 00:04:25,378
UH-HUH.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
81
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,207
I LOVE TO MAKE 'EM WEEP.
82
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:30,776
HELLO, DORIS.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
83
00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:32,177
COME ON,
LET'S GET YOU A LOCKER.
84
00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:34,747
- MY GOODNESS, YOU WERE
VERY IMPRESSIVE ON THE PHONE.
85
00:04:34,786 --> 00:04:36,255
IT GAVE ME CHILLS.
86
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:38,717
I'D ALWAYS WISHED
I COULD BE THAT ASSERTIVE.
87
00:04:38,752 --> 00:04:40,145
- IT'S A GIFT.
88
00:04:42,256 --> 00:04:44,448
- ONE OF THOSE GIFTS
YOU CAN'T RETURN.
89
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:56,101
- OKAY, SALAMI, BOLOGNA,
CAPICOLA, MORTADELLA.
90
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:58,740
AH. SPAM.
91
00:05:00,608 --> 00:05:02,650
LUNCHMEAT OF THE GODS.
92
00:05:04,645 --> 00:05:07,114
HEY, CAROL.
HEY, MYSTERY BABE.
93
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,420
- IGNORE HIM.
HE JUST EATS HERE.
94
00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,248
THAT POWER WALK
NEARLY DID ME IN.
95
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,754
IT MUST BE ALL THIS EXTRA WEIGHT
I'M CARRYING AROUND.
96
00:05:15,789 --> 00:05:18,290
- OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
MY BACK IS KILLING ME.
97
00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:19,491
- OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
98
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:23,295
MY BREASTS WERE SWINGING
LIKE 50 POUND SANDBAGS.
99
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:27,537
- HAVE THEY STARTED
LEAKING?
100
00:05:32,072 --> 00:05:35,774
- LEAKING?
MY SOCKS ARE WET.
101
00:05:39,508 --> 00:05:42,097
BUT THE WETNESS I CAN LIVE WITH,
IT'S THE CRAMPS.
102
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,412
IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY'S TYING
A GRANNY KNOT IN MY COLON.
103
00:05:49,657 --> 00:05:53,292
- CONSTIPATION.
- CONSTIPATION?
104
00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:55,555
IT FEELS LIKE I'M TRYING
TO PASS A GLACIER.
105
00:06:02,102 --> 00:06:03,902
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT
ANY MORE.
106
00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:05,930
JUST MAKES MATTERS WORSE.
- RIGHT.
107
00:06:06,841 --> 00:06:08,938
- BUT YOU DO KNOW
WHAT THE WORST IS.
108
00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:10,870
both: HEMORRHOIDS!
109
00:06:19,119 --> 00:06:21,090
- THIS IS GONNA BE SO GREAT.
110
00:06:21,989 --> 00:06:24,161
US BEING OXFORD PARENTS
TOGETHER.
111
00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:26,091
- I'M SORRY,
OXFORD PARENTS?
112
00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:28,220
- THE OXFORD ACADEMY PRESCHOOL.
113
00:06:28,598 --> 00:06:30,841
CAROL, THE WAITING LIST
IS YEARS.
114
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:33,664
YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T
ENROLLED YOUR FETUS?
115
00:06:36,403 --> 00:06:39,304
- WELL, ACTUALLY, I HADN'T
DECIDED WHICH PRESCHOOL--
116
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:41,636
- HONEY, THERE ARE
NO OTHER PRESCHOOLS.
117
00:06:41,936 --> 00:06:44,977
WITHOUT OXFORD, YOU'LL NEVER
QUALIFY FOR HUNTINGTON PRIMARY.
118
00:06:45,012 --> 00:06:46,912
- I WON'T?
- AND WITHOUT HUNTINGTON,
119
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,014
LYCEE FRANCAIS
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
120
00:06:49,049 --> 00:06:50,504
- OH, MON DIEU!
121
00:06:52,353 --> 00:06:53,652
- WELL, THEN ANDOVER'S OUT,
122
00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,554
WHICH MEANS YOU CAN KISS
YOUR YALE GOOD-BYE.
123
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:58,123
- WHAT IF I HAVE A SON?
HE WON'T BE A YALE MAN.
124
00:06:58,158 --> 00:06:59,594
- YALE MAN?
125
00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:02,058
HE'LL BE LUCKY
IF HE'S AN ORKIN MAN.
126
00:07:04,498 --> 00:07:07,044
- BOY, THE ONLY THING
THAT WOULD MAKE THIS DAY BETTER
127
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:09,436
IS IF TOMMY LEE JONES
WALKED THROUGH THAT FRONT DOOR
128
00:07:09,474 --> 00:07:11,237
WEARIN' NOTHIN' BUT SPEEDOS.
129
00:07:14,174 --> 00:07:15,841
- WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?
130
00:07:15,876 --> 00:07:18,884
- DORIS. SHE ANSWERED THE PHONE,
SHE DID THE FILIN',
131
00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:21,553
SHE TOOK THE INVENTORY.
THAT WOMAN IS A GODSEND.
132
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,313
- LAVERNE, I PICKED UP
YOUR DRY CLEANING.
133
00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:28,256
- AND SHE DELIVERS.
134
00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:31,317
- DORIS,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
135
00:07:31,353 --> 00:07:34,827
- OH, GO ON, YOU'RE
MUCH TOO IMPORTANT AROUND HERE.
136
00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:36,704
- TELL A FRIEND.
137
00:07:38,627 --> 00:07:40,960
- I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING.
138
00:07:40,996 --> 00:07:42,629
I'VE GOT
A THOUSAND QUESTIONS.
139
00:07:42,664 --> 00:07:43,896
- WELL, ANYTHING YOU NEED
TO KNOW
140
00:07:43,932 --> 00:07:45,264
YOU CAN ASK MAXINE OR ME.
141
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,322
- COURSE, THEY'LL JUST GO
GLASSY-EYED AND SAY
142
00:07:47,353 --> 00:07:48,835
"ASK LAVERNE."
143
00:07:50,238 --> 00:07:51,371
- I WAS THINKING,
144
00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:53,573
MAYBE YOU COULD COME UP
TO MY PLACE TONIGHT,
145
00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:55,985
SORT OF BRIEF ME.
I'LL MAKE DINNER.
146
00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:58,778
- WELL, SURE.
IF IT'S NO TROUBLE.
147
00:07:58,858 --> 00:08:00,580
I COULD USE
A LITTLE HOME COOKIN',
148
00:08:00,615 --> 00:08:02,891
HARD AS I WORK
A-RUNNIN' THIS PLACE.
149
00:08:04,452 --> 00:08:06,452
- AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT
A RED HAIR RIBBON
150
00:08:06,488 --> 00:08:08,655
THAT'LL GO BEAUTIFULLY
WITH THAT SWEATER.
151
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,495
- WELL, YOU DON'T THINK
THAT'LL BE TOO MUCH RED.
152
00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:12,798
- NOT FOR A FIREBALL
LIKE YOU.
153
00:08:13,895 --> 00:08:16,554
- TSS!
- [laughing]
154
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,318
- HARRY, LET ME ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
155
00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:24,486
DON'T YOU THINK DORIS
156
00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:26,708
GOT ATTACHED TO LAVERNE
AWFULLY FAST?
157
00:08:27,391 --> 00:08:28,723
- WELL, I-I THINK DORIS
158
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,792
IS JUST VERY ENTHUSIASTIC
ABOUT HER WORK.
159
00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,794
- HMPH.
REGIS AND KATHIE LEE
160
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:35,730
AREN'T THAT ENTHUSIASTIC
ABOUT THEIR WORK.
161
00:08:35,884 --> 00:08:37,026
- OH, BOY.
162
00:08:42,824 --> 00:08:44,432
- MM-HMM.
163
00:08:45,145 --> 00:08:47,470
- GOOD MORNING.
WHERE'S LAVERNE?
164
00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:49,704
- OH, SHE CALLED TO SAY
SHE'D BE A LITTLE LATE.
165
00:08:49,748 --> 00:08:51,402
AND GUESS WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
166
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:55,205
IT SEEMS DORIS MADE HER
A LOVELY DINNER LAST NIGHT.
167
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:58,023
WITH CANDLES AND WINE
168
00:08:58,065 --> 00:08:59,877
AND MUSIC.
169
00:09:04,146 --> 00:09:05,479
- SOUNDS FRIENDLY.
170
00:09:05,514 --> 00:09:07,514
- TOO FRIENDLY.
COME ON, HARRY.
171
00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:09,889
YOU EVER MADE DINNER
LIKE THAT FOR ANOTHER MAN?
172
00:09:13,823 --> 00:09:15,055
- ONCE WHEN I WAS
IN THE SERVICE,
173
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,834
BUT THAT'S A LONG TIME AGO.
174
00:09:18,294 --> 00:09:20,961
MAXINE, COME ON!
YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH OF THIS.
175
00:09:20,996 --> 00:09:23,163
- I'M NOT MAKING TOO MUCH
OF THOSE.
176
00:09:23,199 --> 00:09:25,948
TWO DOZEN ROSES TO LAVERNE
FROM DORIS.
177
00:09:28,604 --> 00:09:30,140
I READ THE CARD.
178
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:32,940
- MAXINE!
179
00:09:32,975 --> 00:09:34,908
- WELL, THERE WAS
NO ENVELOPE, HARRY.
180
00:09:34,944 --> 00:09:36,243
I WAS JUST WALKING BY.
181
00:09:36,278 --> 00:09:38,386
YOU'D HAVE TO BE BLIND
NOT TO SEE IT.
182
00:09:49,859 --> 00:09:51,090
- I DON'T SEE IT.
183
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,397
- UNDER THE BABY'S BREATH,
WAY IN THE BACK.
184
00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:06,673
- WAIT A MIN-- WAIT A MINUTE.
185
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:09,137
WAIT A MINUTE. SO DORIS
SENT LAVERNE SOME FLOWERS.
186
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,439
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
187
00:10:10,474 --> 00:10:13,286
- OOH-WEE!
LOOK AT THEM ROSES.
188
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,271
THEY MUST BE
ROMANCE IN THE AIR.
189
00:10:20,684 --> 00:10:23,961
'CAUSE NOTHIN' SAYS LOVIN'
LIKE ROSES BY THE DOZEN.
190
00:10:25,823 --> 00:10:28,827
WHO THEY FOR?
- ALL YOURS, BLONDIE.
191
00:10:30,385 --> 00:10:32,842
- WHERE'S THE CARD?
- UNDERNEATH THE BABY'S BREATH.
192
00:10:33,998 --> 00:10:35,964
WELL, I MEAN, IT'S BACK
IN THERE SOMEWHERE, I GUESS.
193
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,066
I DON'T KNOW.
194
00:10:37,086 --> 00:10:39,586
- WELL, I'M A--
I'M A PUSHOVER FOR ROSES.
195
00:10:39,734 --> 00:10:42,348
- YOU MIGHT WANNA
REEXAMINE THAT ATTITUDE.
196
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:49,678
- OKAY. LET'S SEE WHAT POOR
LOVESICK PUPPY SENT THESE.
197
00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:05,827
DORIS?
198
00:11:05,863 --> 00:11:07,753
- PFFT. IMAGINE THAT.
199
00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:11,907
- WELL, YOU--YOU
DON'T THINK...
200
00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:16,719
THAT DORIS IS A TAD
SMITTEN WITH ME.
201
00:11:17,441 --> 00:11:20,275
- OH, COME ON. THIS--THIS
COULD MEAN ANYTHING.
202
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:22,422
- I VOTE
FOR THAT SMITTEN DEAL.
203
00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:26,682
- YEAH.
I'M THINKIN' OL' DORIS
204
00:11:26,717 --> 00:11:28,518
IS TRACTORED
ON A PLOW STRAIGHT.
205
00:11:35,005 --> 00:11:36,771
I JUST HAVE TO HAVE ME
A LITTLE TALK WITH DORIS,
206
00:11:36,806 --> 00:11:38,748
TELL HER
I AIN'T INTERESTED.
207
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,744
- LA-LAVERNE, PLEASE, THIS
IS A RATHER DELICATE MATTER.
208
00:11:42,779 --> 00:11:44,612
- DOCTOR, PLEASE,
I ASSURE YOU,
209
00:11:44,648 --> 00:11:46,548
WHERE AFFAIRS OF THE HEART
ARE CONCERNED,
210
00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:49,016
I HAVE A TENDER
AND SENSITIVE NATURE.
211
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:50,552
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY?
212
00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:52,810
- THAT I PREFER
A BIG, HAIRY MEN.
213
00:11:57,027 --> 00:11:58,331
- THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
214
00:11:59,229 --> 00:12:01,123
- OH, YOU GOT THE FLOWERS.
215
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:03,164
- YES. THANK YOU.
216
00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:04,731
UH, DORIS?
217
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:06,983
WE NEED TO HAVE
A LITTLE TALK.
218
00:12:07,022 --> 00:12:09,165
- SURE. JUST LET ME
TAKE OFF MY COAT.
219
00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:24,759
- BOY, DON'T YOU LOOK...
220
00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:26,282
FAMILIAR.
221
00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:32,193
- YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE COULD
HAVE THAT TALK OVER DINNER.
222
00:12:32,228 --> 00:12:34,874
I KNOW
A NICE COZY LITTLE CAFE.
223
00:12:38,233 --> 00:12:39,658
- I HAVE A DATE.
224
00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:43,815
- A DATE? I SEE.
225
00:12:44,554 --> 00:12:46,172
WELL, FINE, THEN.
226
00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:47,907
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT POOR LITTLE DORIS.
227
00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:49,942
POOR LITTLE DORIS
CAN TAKE OF HERSELF,
228
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,336
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
229
00:12:52,247 --> 00:12:53,949
ENJOY YOUR DATE.
230
00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:04,704
- YOU LEFT OUT
THE BIG, HAIRY MEN PART.
231
00:13:18,516 --> 00:13:21,014
- HARRY?
READY TO KICK SOME BUTT?
232
00:13:23,566 --> 00:13:26,386
- SOPHIA, WHERE WOULD
THIS VASE LOOK BEST?
233
00:13:26,503 --> 00:13:27,893
- IN THE TRASH.
234
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,051
- DADDY,
HOW DOES EVERYTHING LOOK?
235
00:13:32,086 --> 00:13:33,519
- OH, SWEETIE,
DON'T YOU THINK
236
00:13:33,555 --> 00:13:35,021
YOU'RE GOING
TO AN AWFUL LOT OF TROUBLE
237
00:13:35,056 --> 00:13:36,322
FOR A PRESCHOOL INTERVIEW?
238
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,091
- DADDY, BRENDA PULLED
A LOT OF STRINGS TO SET THIS UP,
239
00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:42,295
AND I WANT MY CHILD TO HAVE
EVERY EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITY.
240
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:44,263
EVERY CHANCE TO GROW,
TO BLOSSOM.
241
00:13:44,299 --> 00:13:46,334
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
242
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,503
LET'S WIN ONE
FOR SHADY PINES.
243
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,545
- OKAY.
244
00:13:51,585 --> 00:13:52,647
- IF ANYBODY ASKS,
245
00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:54,206
YOUR NAME IS MORRIS
AND YOU'RE 85.
246
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:55,257
- OKAY.
247
00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:00,738
[telephone rings]
248
00:14:02,293 --> 00:14:04,293
- HELLO? OH, HI.
249
00:14:04,328 --> 00:14:07,329
BRENDA. YES. HE'LL BE HERE
IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
250
00:14:07,365 --> 00:14:08,898
THANKS AGAIN
FOR SETTING IT UP.
251
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,166
[doorbell rings]
YES,
252
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:11,367
I BOUGHT
A SMASHING NEW OUTFIT
253
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,002
AND I HAD MY NAILS DONE.
254
00:14:13,037 --> 00:14:15,269
I JUST HOPE I DON'T DAZZLE
THE POOR FELLOW.
255
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:18,764
- MRS. WESTON, CAROL WESTON?
256
00:14:19,176 --> 00:14:21,840
- BRENDA, I HAVE TO GO NOW.
JAMES BOND IS HERE.
257
00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:28,317
- HELLO, I'M STEVEN ELLIS,
THE OXFORD ACADEMY.
258
00:14:28,352 --> 00:14:29,485
I'M SORRY I'M EARLY,
259
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,953
BUT I'M HAVING
A FUNDRAISER TONIGHT,
260
00:14:30,988 --> 00:14:32,121
AND SUDDENLY THEY NEED ME
261
00:14:32,156 --> 00:14:33,923
TO PICK UP JANET RENO
AT THE AIRPORT.
262
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:35,391
- THE ATTORNEY GENERAL?
263
00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:38,475
- TO HER FRIENDS AT OXFORD,
SHE'S JUST PLAIN SLATS.
264
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:40,629
MAY I COME IN?
265
00:14:40,665 --> 00:14:42,531
- OH, OF COURSE.
WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?
266
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,699
- THANK YOU.
267
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:46,623
- PLEASE,
PARDON MY--MY APPEARANCE.
268
00:14:46,759 --> 00:14:49,397
I WAS JUST--I WAS JUST...
269
00:14:50,142 --> 00:14:53,558
DOING A RESEARCH EXPERIMENT
IN MICROBIOLOGY.
270
00:14:54,612 --> 00:14:55,945
- YOU'RE A MICROBIOLOGIST?
271
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,576
- I DABBLE.
272
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,181
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
273
00:14:59,217 --> 00:15:00,549
- OH, THANK YOU.
274
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,685
SO, WILL YOUR HUSBAND
BE JOINING US?
275
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,420
- OH, MY HUSBAND. YES.
276
00:15:04,455 --> 00:15:07,556
AH. NO.
HE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
277
00:15:07,592 --> 00:15:09,925
HE'S--HE'S STUDYING ARTS
IN PARIS. AT THE SORBONNE.
278
00:15:09,961 --> 00:15:11,427
- WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT?
279
00:15:11,462 --> 00:15:12,728
I STUDIED AT THE SORBONNE.
280
00:15:12,763 --> 00:15:15,297
- WELL, HE'S NOT
AT THE SORBONNE.
281
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,430
HE'S NEAR THE SORBONNE.
282
00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:20,593
JUST DOWN THE RUE
FROM THE SORBONNE.
283
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,806
- I WAS JUST WONDERING
ABOUT YOUR FAMILY HISTORY.
284
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:26,809
- OH, WELL.
WHERE TO BEGIN?
285
00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:29,812
OUR FAMILY
IS A RICH TAPESTRY.
286
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:33,215
A TAPESTRY WOVEN
OF--OF RENAISSANCE THINKERS
287
00:15:33,251 --> 00:15:35,784
AND PATRONS
OF THE ARTS AND...
288
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,119
- AND?
289
00:15:37,154 --> 00:15:39,288
- DID I MENTION THAT WE'RE
ONE EIGHTH CHEROKEE?
290
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:41,757
- REALLY? I THINK THE BOARD
WILL BE IMMENSELY IMPRESSED
291
00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:42,925
WITH YOUR INDIAN HERITAGE.
292
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,651
- MR. ELLIS.
293
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:48,297
I HAVE TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU...ABOUT THAT--
294
00:15:48,332 --> 00:15:49,420
- YES?
295
00:15:50,976 --> 00:15:53,591
- MY PEOPLE PREFER THE TERM
"NATIVE AMERICAN".
296
00:15:56,046 --> 00:15:58,126
- CAROL. I'M SHIPPING OUT.
297
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,397
D'YOUR OLD MAN HAVE
ANY CLEAN UNDERWEAR?
298
00:16:01,015 --> 00:16:02,538
- I-I'M SURE HE DOES,
CHARLEY.
299
00:16:02,569 --> 00:16:04,359
I'LL TELL HIM YOU ASKED.
- HEY.
300
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,530
IS THAT JAMES BOND?
301
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,591
- NO, CHARLEY.
302
00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:11,836
THIS IS MR. ELLIS,
FROM THE OXFORD PRESCHOOL.
303
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,325
- JUST A MINUTE.
304
00:16:13,669 --> 00:16:14,809
NAVY?
305
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,565
- NO. WHITE.
306
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:24,181
- [laughing]
307
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,827
MILITARY HUMOR.
308
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,021
ACTUALLY, CHARLEY HERE
IS QUITE THE WAR HERO.
309
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,723
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, CHARLEY?
- HUH?
310
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,227
AH! I MEAN...
311
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,126
I WOULDN'T SAY HERO,
312
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,901
JUST A NAVY FLYBOY
DOING HIS JOB.
313
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,498
MAYBE HEARD
OF A LITTLE OPERATION
314
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,999
CALLED DESERT STORM.
315
00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:43,496
- CERTAINLY.
316
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,972
WHAT DID YOU FLY?
317
00:16:45,362 --> 00:16:46,650
- AN AIRPLANE.
318
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,306
- [laughing]
319
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,343
- [fake laughter]
320
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,293
- DID I MENTION HE TOOK
A SCUD MISSILE TO THE HEAD?
321
00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:08,086
- IT'S HERE! FROM THE OXFORD
ACADEMY PRESCHOOL.
322
00:17:08,129 --> 00:17:09,301
- THANKS.
323
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:11,395
- AREN'T YOU GONNA OPEN IT?
324
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,663
- I ALREADY KNOW
WHAT IT SAYS.
325
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,765
- OH, CAROL.
DON'T BE SO NEGATIVE.
326
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,433
COME ON, THEY COULD HAVE
ACCEPTED YOU.
327
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,502
- OF COURSE THEY ACCEPTED ME,
328
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,571
BUT I CAN'T ACCEPT
THEIR ACCEPTANCE.
329
00:17:25,052 --> 00:17:27,444
DADDY, I LIED TO GET IN.
330
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,246
- YOU LIED?
THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU.
331
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,216
- I KNOW, BUT WITH MR. ELLIS
STANDING THERE,
332
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:35,119
LOOKING LIKE GOD IN A TUX,
TALKING ABOUT JANET RENO,
333
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,124
I JUST GOT SWEPT AWAY.
334
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,657
I JUST WANTED WHAT WAS BEST
FOR MY BABY.
335
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,158
- WELL, I MEAN, OF COURSE...
336
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,326
HE KNOWS JANET RENO?
337
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,131
- I MEAN, IT'S CRAZY
ENROLLING OUR FETUSES IN SCHOOL.
338
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,440
- YEAH, I MEAN, WHAT KIND
OF CLASS PICTURE WOULD THAT BE?
339
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,805
- BESIDES, MY CHILD
DOES NOT NEED TO GO
340
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,373
TO SOME SNOOTY ACADEMY
341
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,852
TO LEARN TO SHOVE PLAY-DOH
UP ITS NOSE.
342
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,299
- SWEETIE, IF I HAD
ANY QUESTIONS
343
00:18:02,334 --> 00:18:04,262
ABOUT YOU BEING READY
TO BE A MOTHER,
344
00:18:04,654 --> 00:18:05,869
YOU JUST ANSWERED THEM.
345
00:18:05,905 --> 00:18:07,068
- OH, DADDY.
346
00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:08,561
YOU HAD QUESTIONS?
347
00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:11,241
- NO, NOT REALLY.
348
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:19,983
[doorbell rings]
OH, I'M UP, I'M UP, I'M UP!
349
00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:22,419
CAROL, RELAX.
THIS--
350
00:18:25,424 --> 00:18:26,546
OKAY.
351
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:34,264
- HELLO, DR. WESTON. I'M SORRY
IT'S SO LATE. DID I WAKE YOU?
352
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,389
- NO, NO.
I WAS JUST READING.
353
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:40,029
- OH. IT'S JUST YOUR FACE
IS ALL WAFFLY.
354
00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:42,673
- YEAH, I KNOW.
IT--IT DOES THAT.
355
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:43,921
COME ON IN.
356
00:18:44,966 --> 00:18:47,177
- I--I--I WAS GOING TO TALK
TO YOU ON MONDAY,
357
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:49,580
BUT I COULDN'T WAIT.
I JUST WANT TO SAY
358
00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:51,315
I'M SORRY FOR THE WAY
I ACTED THE OTHER DAY.
359
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:52,950
- FORGET IT.
360
00:18:52,985 --> 00:18:55,752
- AND OF COURSE I'M ALSO
GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO LAVERNE.
361
00:18:55,788 --> 00:18:57,454
- IT'S GOOD IDEA.
- DO YOU THINK
362
00:18:57,489 --> 00:19:00,090
A WEEKEND IN THE BAHAMAS
WOULD DO THE TRICK?
363
00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:08,012
- DORIS, I, UM,
I THINK WE--
364
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,618
I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
365
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:13,036
NOW, F-F-FIRST OF ALL,
366
00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:14,605
YOU--YOU--YOU JUST TELL ME
367
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,839
IF THIS IS
NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
368
00:19:15,874 --> 00:19:19,566
BECAUSE PROBABLY
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
369
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:23,095
BUT THESE ARE THE '90s,
AND SO...
370
00:19:24,398 --> 00:19:26,416
I'M JUST GONNA ASK YOU
STRAIGHT OUT.
371
00:19:27,869 --> 00:19:29,545
DORIS, ARE YOU A LE--
372
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:35,678
LE--
373
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,658
LET ME REPHRASE THIS.
374
00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:42,800
I MEAN, IT--
375
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,520
YOU JUST MET LAVERNE, I MEAN.
376
00:19:46,093 --> 00:19:47,553
WHY THE BAHAMAS?
377
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:51,624
- WELL, WHENEVER MY SISTER
AND I WOULD HAVE A TIFF,
378
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,325
WE'D TAKE A LITTLE TRIP.
379
00:19:53,361 --> 00:19:54,627
WE WERE VERY CLOSE.
380
00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:57,596
I GUESS THAT'S TRUE
OF ALL IDENTICAL TWINS.
381
00:20:00,748 --> 00:20:02,205
- IDENTICAL TWINS?
382
00:20:03,738 --> 00:20:06,871
BY ANY CHANCE, DID THE TWO
OF YOU USE TO DRESS ALIKE?
383
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,741
- EVERY DAY.
384
00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:10,409
BUT WE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
MORE DIFFERENT.
385
00:20:10,444 --> 00:20:13,512
DONNA WAS SEXY, SASSY,
FUN TO BE WITH.
386
00:20:13,888 --> 00:20:17,121
- SOUNDS LIKE LAVERNE,
EXCEPT FOR THE FUN TO BE WITH.
387
00:20:18,653 --> 00:20:20,553
- WELL, I--I HADN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT,
388
00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,600
BUT THEY ARE A LOT ALIKE.
389
00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:26,168
- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN--
390
00:20:26,455 --> 00:20:28,860
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING
LAVERNE IN DONNA'S PLACE.
391
00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:30,602
- OH, I DON'T THINK I--
392
00:20:30,865 --> 00:20:32,610
I MEAN, IT'S POSSIBLE
THAT I C--
393
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:35,665
OH, MY.
394
00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:38,604
OH, DR. WESTON,
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
395
00:20:38,639 --> 00:20:40,072
I FEEL JUST AWFUL.
396
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,684
- WELL, NO, NO, DON'T.
DON'T, DON'T.
397
00:20:43,177 --> 00:20:44,740
THE POINT IS
YOUR SISTER'S DEATH
398
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:46,814
COULD BE
A TERRIFIC BREAK FOR YOU.
399
00:20:47,082 --> 00:20:48,705
- I BEG YOUR PARDON?
400
00:20:49,817 --> 00:20:52,291
- WELL, NO, I MEAN,
WH-WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
401
00:20:52,332 --> 00:20:54,626
IS--IS THAT IT'S NOT TOO LATE
FOR YOU TO--
402
00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:57,344
YOU KNOW, TO HAVE
YOUR OWN IDENTITY.
403
00:20:57,959 --> 00:20:59,092
YOU KNOW? LISTEN.
404
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:02,202
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT TRIP
TO THE BAHAMAS BY YOURSELF?
405
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,159
- OH, I COULDN'T.
406
00:21:04,411 --> 00:21:05,831
- YES, YOU COULD.
407
00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:08,330
COME ON. YOU'RE A VIBRANT,
INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE,
408
00:21:08,361 --> 00:21:09,846
LOVELY YOUNG LADY.
409
00:21:09,892 --> 00:21:11,203
- REALLY?
410
00:21:11,902 --> 00:21:14,082
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GO WITH ME?
411
00:21:24,285 --> 00:21:27,486
OH, LAVERNE.
I'VE JUST CAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
412
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,874
I'VE DECIDED TO TAKE
A LITTLE VACATION.
413
00:21:30,358 --> 00:21:32,424
- WELL, I THINK
THAT'S A FINE IDEA.
414
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:35,227
- DR. WESTON AND I HAD
A GOOD TALK LAST NIGHT,
415
00:21:35,262 --> 00:21:37,563
AND HE CLEARED UP
A FEW THINGS.
416
00:21:37,598 --> 00:21:39,940
- WELL, I'M SURE GLAD
TO HEAR THAT.
417
00:21:41,602 --> 00:21:44,203
- AND NOW I WANT
TO APOLOGIZE.
418
00:21:44,238 --> 00:21:45,707
- OH, FOR WHAT?
419
00:21:45,801 --> 00:21:48,107
LISTEN, JUST 'CAUSE I'M
FROM A SMALL TOWN
420
00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:50,170
DON'T MEAN I AIN'T BEEN
AROUND THE BLOCK.
421
00:21:50,228 --> 00:21:52,711
SOME PEOPLE MARCH TO THE BEAT
OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.
422
00:21:52,747 --> 00:21:55,147
IN FACT, I PRIDE MYSELF
ON BEIN' DIFFERENT.
423
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,915
- REALLY?
- SURE.
424
00:21:56,951 --> 00:21:59,284
I THINK SEXUAL PREFERENCE
425
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,940
IS A MATTER
OF PERSONAL CHOICE, DORIS.
426
00:22:02,047 --> 00:22:04,256
I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TRYIN' TO SAY.
427
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:05,947
- I CERTAINLY DO.
428
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:08,550
YOU'RE A LESBIAN,
AND NO, THANKS.
429
00:22:20,229 --> 00:22:21,835
- HARRY, LOOK.
430
00:22:21,886 --> 00:22:23,589
IT CAME BACK
FROM THE ENGRAVERS.
431
00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:26,654
- OH! WHY, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
432
00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:28,489
THAT'S GREAT, SOPHIA.
433
00:22:28,525 --> 00:22:31,459
I--I NEVER WON
AN AWARD BEFORE.
434
00:22:31,494 --> 00:22:33,194
- WE'RE IMMORTAL.
OUR NAMES WILL LIVE FOREVER
435
00:22:33,229 --> 00:22:35,557
IN THE TROPHY CASE
AT SHADY PINES.
436
00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:38,299
- LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS GREAT.
437
00:22:38,335 --> 00:22:41,301
"FIRST PLACE.
EXTREMELY OLD DIVISION"
438
00:22:45,709 --> 00:22:47,408
"SOPHIA PETRILLO AND...
439
00:22:47,444 --> 00:22:49,167
MORRIS LEVINE"
440
00:22:51,182 --> 00:22:53,571
I'M SO PROUD.
[chuckles]
441
00:22:53,621 --> 00:22:58,171
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