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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,893 --> 00:00:01,998 - AH! 2 00:00:03,362 --> 00:00:04,487 AH! 3 00:00:05,367 --> 00:00:06,422 AH! 4 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:08,222 - YA FLINCHED. 5 00:00:08,511 --> 00:00:09,543 - AH! 6 00:00:12,004 --> 00:00:14,102 OKAY, SOPHIA. SO, IT'S ENOUGH OF THIS. 7 00:00:14,138 --> 00:00:15,571 - I HURT YOU WITH THAT ONE, DIDN'T I? 8 00:00:15,608 --> 00:00:18,742 - [chuckles] GET OUT. PLEASE...COME ON. 9 00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:21,528 - HI, SOPHIA. HI, DADDY. 10 00:00:21,568 --> 00:00:23,048 - OW! EGAD! 11 00:00:25,765 --> 00:00:27,360 - WUSS. - [scoffs] 12 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,638 SO, SWEETHEART, HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY? 13 00:00:30,673 --> 00:00:33,274 - I HAVE BLURRY VISION, DRY MOUTH, NAUSEA, 14 00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:36,277 EXCESSIVE BLOATING, AND A FREQUENT NEED TO URINATE. 15 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:38,913 GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS? 16 00:00:38,948 --> 00:00:41,159 - YOU KNOCKED BACK A CASE OF BEER LAST NIGHT? 17 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:47,088 - ACCORDING TO MY BOOK, I'M HAVING THE PERFECT PREGNANCY. 18 00:00:47,123 --> 00:00:49,264 I'VE HAD 19 SYMPTOMS SO FAR. 19 00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:52,715 OH! MAKE THAT 20. MY NIPPLES ARE SORE. 20 00:01:04,441 --> 00:01:05,673 - I GOTTA GET BACK TO THE HOME, 21 00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:07,308 WE'RE HAVING A SAFE-SEX SEMINAR. 22 00:01:07,344 --> 00:01:08,443 - SAFE SEX? WELL, YOU KNOW, 23 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,684 YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE SAFE. 24 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,751 - YEAH, RIGHT. 25 00:01:10,798 --> 00:01:12,493 AT MY AGE, SAFE SEX MEANS ASKING THE NURSE 26 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,337 TO PUT UP THE SIDES OF THE BED. 27 00:01:17,509 --> 00:01:18,708 - OH, MY GOD. 28 00:01:19,525 --> 00:01:22,599 DADDY, LOOK AT THIS. - WHAT? 29 00:01:22,971 --> 00:01:24,823 "CONGRATULATIONS, IT'S YOUR FORTH MONTH. 30 00:01:24,861 --> 00:01:26,924 "BY NOW YOU SHOULD BE FEELING A SPECIAL MATERNAL BOND 31 00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:29,119 BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR UNBORN CHILD," SO? 32 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:31,125 - I DON'T FEEL A BOND. 33 00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:34,025 I'M EMOTIONALLY BARREN. 34 00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:35,958 WHAT SHOULD I DO? 35 00:01:35,993 --> 00:01:37,643 - STOP READING THIS BOOK. 36 00:01:38,896 --> 00:01:41,229 - I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING! 37 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:43,666 I'M UNFIT TO BE A MOTHER. I'M INADEQUATE. 38 00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:46,001 - CAROL, I PROMISE YOU. YOU ARE ADEQUATE. 39 00:01:46,037 --> 00:01:47,440 - ADEQUATE? 40 00:01:48,873 --> 00:01:51,006 THAT'S ALL YOU THINK I AM? ADEQUATE? 41 00:01:51,042 --> 00:01:52,942 NO WONDER I HAVE SUCH LOW SELF-ESTEEM. 42 00:01:52,977 --> 00:01:55,151 NO WONDER I WAS SO UNHAPPY AS A BABY! 43 00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:59,271 - CAROL, YOU WERE A VERY HAPPY BABY, I SWEAR! 44 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,995 STRANGE, BUT HAPPY. 45 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,355 46 00:02:06,391 --> 00:02:08,023 - LIFE GOES ON 47 00:02:08,059 --> 00:02:09,859 AND SO DO WE 48 00:02:09,894 --> 00:02:13,796 JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY 49 00:02:13,831 --> 00:02:15,765 ONE BY ONE 50 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,600 WE FILL THE DAYS 51 00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:22,071 WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS 52 00:02:22,106 --> 00:02:26,008 SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND 53 00:02:26,043 --> 00:02:28,778 THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE 54 00:02:28,813 --> 00:02:31,614 I'M ALWAYS HERE 55 00:02:31,649 --> 00:02:36,719 FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED 56 00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:39,054 RAIN OR SHINE 57 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,424 I'LL BE THE ONE 58 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:45,895 TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON 59 00:02:45,930 --> 00:02:48,397 WE SHARE IT ALL 60 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:51,467 AS LIFE GOES ON 61 00:03:11,895 --> 00:03:14,296 - THE DOCTOR'LL GET BACK TO YOU THIS AFTERNOON. 62 00:03:14,331 --> 00:03:15,549 UH-HUH. 63 00:03:21,405 --> 00:03:24,506 SO, HOW ARE YOU TODAY, MR. GARRISON? 64 00:03:24,541 --> 00:03:26,775 - MY EYES ARE ITCHY, MY THROAT HAS A TICKLE, 65 00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:28,310 MY STOMACH IS TWINGING, 66 00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:30,477 AND THERE'S A RINGING IN MY LEFT EAR. 67 00:03:31,048 --> 00:03:32,912 - FEELIN' BETTER, HUH? 68 00:03:34,818 --> 00:03:37,119 - I HAVE SHOOTING PAINS, DIZZINESS, 69 00:03:37,154 --> 00:03:39,547 POST-NASAL DRIP AND A SPLINTER. 70 00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,522 - WELL, THEY'S A LOT OF THAT GOIN' AROUND. 71 00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:53,902 HEY, DOCTOR, HOW'S IT GOIN'? 72 00:03:53,937 --> 00:03:56,317 - I'M HAVING A BAD DAY. 73 00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,602 ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, I JUST GOT A DAMN TICKET. 74 00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:04,413 WHERE THE HELL IS HARRY? 75 00:04:04,448 --> 00:04:06,487 - HE'S RUNNIN' A LITTLE LATE. 76 00:04:06,525 --> 00:04:08,850 SOME KINDA PROBLEM WITH HIS DAUGHTER. 77 00:04:08,886 --> 00:04:10,516 NOW THERE'S A SHOCKER. 78 00:04:11,469 --> 00:04:13,878 - WELL, HE COULDN'T HAVE PICKED A BUSIER DAY. 79 00:04:16,493 --> 00:04:18,160 - YOU KNOW, I BET HALF THE PEOPLE ARE HERE 80 00:04:18,195 --> 00:04:19,628 JUST TO BEAT THE HEAT. 81 00:04:19,663 --> 00:04:21,613 - THEN TURN OFF THE DAMN AIR CONDITIONING. 82 00:04:22,332 --> 00:04:23,887 LET 'EM SWELTER. 83 00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:30,238 - I THINK YOU TOOK ONE TOO MANY CRANKY PILLS TODAY. 84 00:04:30,912 --> 00:04:32,707 - LAVERNE, THERE IS N-- 85 00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,785 WILL YOU STOP THAT! 86 00:04:46,945 --> 00:04:49,376 WHY ARE WE LETTING MIMES IN HERE? 87 00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:52,256 - HE'S A PATIENT. 88 00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:56,420 - HEY, MUMMENSCHANZ, SIT DOWN! 89 00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,593 NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT. 90 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,968 - I JUST LOVE THE LIVE THEATER. 91 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,186 - DADDY, DON'T ASK HOW I'M FEELING. 92 00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:19,574 - OKAY. 93 00:05:20,648 --> 00:05:21,950 - DON'T YOU CARE? 94 00:05:23,804 --> 00:05:25,687 - OF COURSE I CARE. 95 00:05:25,929 --> 00:05:28,163 LOOK, HERE'S SOME STUFF FROM WHEN YOU WERE A BABY. 96 00:05:28,198 --> 00:05:29,998 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT, YOU KNOW, BE GOOD FOR YOU 97 00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:32,558 TO SEE WHAT A WONDERFUL CHILDHOOD YOU REALLY HAD. 98 00:05:33,036 --> 00:05:34,250 - OH, LOOK! 99 00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:37,363 IT'S MOLLY THE DOLLY. 100 00:05:39,843 --> 00:05:44,633 YOU WERE MY FIRST LITTLE BABY, AND I LOVED YOU SO MUCH. 101 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:48,234 THEN THEY TOOK YOU AWAY AND GAVE YOU TO BARBARA. 102 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,286 - CAROL. - SORRY, DADDY. 103 00:05:51,321 --> 00:05:53,355 I JUST SORT OF SLIPPED INTO THE PAST. 104 00:05:53,390 --> 00:05:56,042 BUT THIS IS GOOD. IT'S GOOD. IT'S LIKE THERAPY. 105 00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:59,227 OOH, LET'S SEE. 106 00:06:00,255 --> 00:06:02,888 WHAT DOES THIS PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH? 107 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,257 - DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 108 00:06:05,505 --> 00:06:07,202 THAT'S YOUR CLOWNY NOSE! 109 00:06:07,237 --> 00:06:08,737 YOU GOT IT WHEN WE TOOK YOU TO THE CIRCUS 110 00:06:08,772 --> 00:06:09,905 FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. 111 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,339 OH, GOD! YOU WERE SO CUTE! 112 00:06:11,378 --> 00:06:14,368 YOU KEPT ON ASKING TO SEE THE "EBBYFLANTS." 113 00:06:20,617 --> 00:06:22,325 - "EBBYFLANTS." 114 00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:26,188 I WANNA SEE THE "EBBYFLANTS"! 115 00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:30,058 [chuckling] I WAS CUTE! WASN'T I? 116 00:06:30,093 --> 00:06:31,993 AAH! "EBBYFLANTS"! 117 00:06:32,029 --> 00:06:34,262 - [laughing] OH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 118 00:06:34,298 --> 00:06:35,830 THAT WASN'T YOU, THAT WAS EMILY. 119 00:06:40,204 --> 00:06:41,462 - EMILY? 120 00:06:41,939 --> 00:06:44,039 - WELL, I GOT CONFUSED. WHEN THERE ARE THREE DAUGHTERS, 121 00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:46,041 YOU HAVE A LOT OF CUTE THINGS TO REMEMBER. 122 00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:48,310 - WELL, DIDN'T I EVER SAY ANYTHING CUTE? 123 00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:51,226 - OH SURE! - WELL, WHAT SPECIFICALLY? 124 00:06:59,931 --> 00:07:01,623 - GOD! I'M LATE FOR THE CLINIC, DEAR. 125 00:07:01,658 --> 00:07:03,959 LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU GO THROUGH THE BOX, 126 00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:05,727 AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN I COME HOME? 127 00:07:05,762 --> 00:07:07,963 - OKAY. WAIT, DADDY! 128 00:07:07,998 --> 00:07:10,332 DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME I SAT ON SANTA'S LAP 129 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:13,065 AND I PULLED OFF HIS BEARD AND I CALLED HIM A FAKE? 130 00:07:13,904 --> 00:07:15,585 WASN'T THAT CUTE? 131 00:07:17,307 --> 00:07:18,728 - THAT WAS CUTE. 132 00:07:20,244 --> 00:07:21,958 THAT WAS BARBARA. 133 00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,780 A-HA, MR. FINNEGAN. 134 00:07:29,823 --> 00:07:31,951 IT'S A PLEASURE. IT'S A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU. 135 00:07:32,359 --> 00:07:34,746 ALL RIGHT, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? 136 00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:41,354 I SEE, AND HOW--HOW LONG HAS YOUR STOMACH BEEN BOTHERING YOU? 137 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,146 TWO DAYS, HUH? 138 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,357 TWO--TWO--TWO WEEKS? 139 00:07:47,368 --> 00:07:48,990 CAN YOU DESCRIBE THE PAIN? 140 00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:53,534 OH! 141 00:07:55,584 --> 00:07:57,326 BURN! BURNING--BURNING SENSATION! 142 00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:58,441 HOPEFULLY. 143 00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,807 STAB! STAB! STABBING PAIN. 144 00:08:03,846 --> 00:08:05,408 OKAY...PRETTY GOOD. 145 00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:07,405 OKAY...ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS? 146 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,746 TWO--TWO--TWO SYMPTOMS. 147 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,375 ONE SYMPTOM, TWO WORDS. 148 00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:12,688 FIRST WORD. 149 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,895 YOU'RE CHOPPING SOMETHING. 150 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,630 YOU'RE--YOU'RE DESTROYING SOMETHING. 151 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,032 YOU'RE BREAKING SOMETHING? 152 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,299 OKAY. 153 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,508 WIND! BREAKING WIND! 154 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,935 YOU GOT GAS! 155 00:08:32,225 --> 00:08:36,188 WELL, WE'LL RUN SOME TESTS, AND THIS IS PROBABLY NOTHING. 156 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,717 BUT JUST, YOU KNOW... I JUST WANNA BE SURE. 157 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,919 I MEAN...I MEAN WITH YOUR SYMPTOMS 158 00:08:40,968 --> 00:08:42,765 IT COULD TURN OUT TO BE AN ULCER. 159 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:44,247 - AN ULCER? 160 00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:57,327 - EXCUSE ME, DR. DOUGLAS, 161 00:08:57,377 --> 00:08:59,077 BUT WE GOT A TWO-HOUR BACKUP OUT THERE, 162 00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:00,578 AND THE CROWD'S A-GETTIN' UGLY. 163 00:09:00,613 --> 00:09:02,838 - THEY WERE UGLY WHEN THEY GOT HERE. 164 00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:05,917 - WHAT IS CHEWIN' ON YOU TODAY? 165 00:09:05,952 --> 00:09:07,218 - NOTHING. I'M FINE. 166 00:09:07,253 --> 00:09:09,153 - WELL, IT MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS-- 167 00:09:09,189 --> 00:09:11,006 - WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT SO FAR. 168 00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:15,434 - ARE YOU READY FOR ME YET? 169 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,540 - COME ON IN, MR. GARRISON. 170 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:22,108 - SO, WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU TODAY, MR. GARRISON? 171 00:09:22,143 --> 00:09:24,977 - MY EYES ARE ITCHY, MY THROAT HAS A TICKLE, 172 00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:26,679 MY STOMACH IS TWINGING, 173 00:09:26,714 --> 00:09:28,731 AND I HAVE A RINGING IN MY LEFT EAR. 174 00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:32,885 - LOOK, MR. GARRISON, YOU'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC, 175 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,055 AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR NONSENSE TODAY. 176 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,009 I SAW YOU YESTERDAY AND I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 177 00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:44,497 BY THE WAY, WHERE WERE YOU MONDAY? 178 00:09:44,532 --> 00:09:45,980 - I WAS HOME SICK. 179 00:09:50,117 --> 00:09:52,104 - IF IT TURNS OUT THAT IT IS AN ULCER, 180 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,839 THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS YOU CAN DO THROUGH DIET, 181 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:56,462 AND, UH, AND STRESS REDUCTION TO AVOID-- 182 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:58,388 MAY I? 183 00:10:12,527 --> 00:10:13,903 - SURGERY? 184 00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,406 - I COULDN'T RESIST! 185 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:20,804 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. IT'S JUST A REMOTE POSSIBILITY. 186 00:10:20,848 --> 00:10:23,919 - AHH, IT'S THE STRESS, DOC! 187 00:10:24,138 --> 00:10:27,293 MIME BASHING RUNS RAMPANT IN THIS COUNTRY. 188 00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,792 PEOPLE THROW FRUIT AT US. 189 00:10:30,069 --> 00:10:31,885 - I--I HAD NO IDEA. 190 00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:35,300 - BECAUSE THE VICTIMS REFUSE TO TALK. 191 00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:44,856 I'M NOT GONNA WAIT FOR THE TEST RESULTS, DOC. 192 00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,358 I'M GONNA TURN MY LIFE AROUND. 193 00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:49,600 I'M--I'M GONNA TURN MY LIFE AROUND STARTING RIGHT NOW! 194 00:10:56,904 --> 00:10:59,471 I FORGOT MY BRIEFCASE. 195 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,518 - MR. GARRISON, WHAT'S WRONG? 196 00:11:14,557 --> 00:11:17,091 - DR. DOUGLAS DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR ME TODAY. 197 00:11:17,229 --> 00:11:19,610 - REALLY? WELL, COME ON IN. 198 00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:21,810 AAH, COME ON. 199 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,929 I'LL GIVE YOU THE ONCE OVER. 200 00:11:23,964 --> 00:11:25,323 - JUST ONCE? 201 00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:28,233 - UM, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? 202 00:11:28,269 --> 00:11:31,336 - MY EYES ARE ITCHY, MY THROAT HAS A TICKLE, 203 00:11:31,372 --> 00:11:32,871 MY STOMACH IS TWINGING, 204 00:11:32,906 --> 00:11:34,273 I HAVE A RINGING IN MY LEFT EAR... 205 00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:38,855 MUSCLE SPASMS, SKIN RASHES, MIGRAINES. 206 00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:40,433 - WHOA-WHOA-WHOA, WHAT IS THIS? 207 00:11:40,465 --> 00:11:41,764 - WHAT'S WHAT? 208 00:11:42,496 --> 00:11:45,517 - THIS LUMP. HOW LONG YOU HAD THIS LUMP ON YOUR SHOULDER? 209 00:11:45,552 --> 00:11:46,871 - OH, THAT. THAT'S NOTHING. 210 00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:50,024 - NO, REALLY, HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD IT? 211 00:11:50,071 --> 00:11:52,159 - A LITTLE WHILE. IS IT SERIOUS? 212 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,139 - OH, WELL, PROBABLY--PROBABLY NOT, 213 00:11:54,175 --> 00:11:56,008 BUT JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, 214 00:11:56,043 --> 00:11:58,677 WE'LL TAKE A BIOPSY AND WE'LL SEND IT TO THE LAB. 215 00:11:58,713 --> 00:12:00,245 - THEN IT COULD BE SERIOUS? 216 00:12:00,281 --> 00:12:01,940 - OH, JUST...POSSIBLY. 217 00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:11,615 - OH, CAROL. 218 00:12:11,659 --> 00:12:14,360 - SOPHIA... WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 219 00:12:14,395 --> 00:12:16,799 I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR THE BABY. 220 00:12:16,858 --> 00:12:18,422 - JOIN THE CLUB. 221 00:12:23,214 --> 00:12:26,048 - SOPHIA, WHAT WAS IT LIKE WHEN YOU WERE PREGNANT? 222 00:12:26,098 --> 00:12:28,932 - OH, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT WHEN I WAS PREGNANT. 223 00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,535 FOR ONE THING, I WAS MARRIED. 224 00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:36,106 BUT WITHOUT MY FATHER'S BLESSING, 225 00:12:36,141 --> 00:12:38,487 SO WHEN I GOT PREGNANT, HE PUT A CURSE ON ME. 226 00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:40,944 - YOU'RE KIDDING? WHAT KIND OF A CURSE? 227 00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:42,854 - I'M A NYMPHOMANIAC. 228 00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:53,128 WHAT'S IN THERE? 229 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:54,691 - OH, THINGS FROM MY PAST. 230 00:12:54,727 --> 00:12:57,673 I'M TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MY CHILDHOOD. 231 00:12:58,151 --> 00:12:59,203 - LOOK AT THIS. 232 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,380 - YEAH, IT'S ONE OF MY EARLY PAINTINGS. 233 00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:02,730 - IT STINKS! 234 00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:09,708 WHAT'S THIS? 235 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,870 - WOW! IT'S MY MOTHER'S DIARY. 236 00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:14,980 - ARE YOU GONNA READ IT? 237 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:17,015 - OH, SOPHIA, PLEASE! 238 00:13:17,051 --> 00:13:19,484 IT CONTAINS HER MOST PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. 239 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,612 - I KNOW. LET ME HAVE IT WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED. 240 00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:25,765 OOP, I GOTTA GO. 241 00:13:25,959 --> 00:13:29,161 IT'S MRS. FEINGOLD'S 96th BIRTHDAY PARTY. 242 00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:30,395 IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. 243 00:13:30,431 --> 00:13:33,738 FIRST WE ALL JUMP OUT AND YELL "SURPRISE!" 244 00:13:33,776 --> 00:13:36,006 THEN WE DRAW STRAWS TO SEE WHO GETS HER ROOM. 245 00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:50,418 - I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD DO THIS. 246 00:13:51,213 --> 00:13:55,452 MOM, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO READ THIS, GIVE ME A SIGN. 247 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,688 [Dreyfuss growls and barks] 248 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,268 COINCIDENCE. 249 00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:08,299 [sighs] LET'S SEE... 250 00:14:09,914 --> 00:14:12,512 OH, WOW, THE YEAR I WAS BORN. 251 00:14:12,883 --> 00:14:15,884 "DEAR DIARY, HARRY'S SO HAPPY WITH HIS NEW CAR. 252 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,413 HE SAYS IT'S EDSELS FOR LIFE." 253 00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:21,718 SILLY DADDY. AHH. 254 00:14:22,159 --> 00:14:26,228 "DEAR DIARY, I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT TODAY. 255 00:14:26,263 --> 00:14:28,497 "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. 256 00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:31,433 "HARRY'S SO BUSY WITH HIS INTERNSHIP, HE'S NEVER HOME, 257 00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:33,669 "AND NOW I'LL HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB. 258 00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:36,085 "THIS IS SOMETHING WE NEVER PLANNED ON. 259 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,068 WHY DID I HAVE TO GET PREGNANT NOW?" 260 00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:41,660 OH, MY GOD. 261 00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:44,180 MOM DIDN'T WANT ME. 262 00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:54,684 - MAXINE, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. 263 00:14:54,723 --> 00:14:57,257 COME ON! MR. GARRISON CRIES WOLF ALL THE TIME. 264 00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,841 HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN? 265 00:14:58,876 --> 00:15:00,933 - BUT, HARRY, THAT LUMP COULD BE MALIGNANT. 266 00:15:00,969 --> 00:15:03,110 - WE'LL FIND OUT TOMORROW WHEN IT COMES BACK FROM THE LAB, 267 00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:05,514 BUT IF IT IS SOMETHING, AT LEAST WE FOUND IT EARLY. 268 00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:07,350 - NO, YOU FOUND IT EARLY. 269 00:15:07,385 --> 00:15:09,085 I KICKED HIM OUT OF MY EXAM ROOM. 270 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,552 - MAXINE, WE'VE BEEN SWAMPED WITH PATIENTS, 271 00:15:11,584 --> 00:15:13,780 YOU HAVE BEEN OVERWORKED AND UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE, 272 00:15:13,835 --> 00:15:15,691 AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. 273 00:15:15,727 --> 00:15:17,613 - HAS IT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? 274 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:18,983 - SURE, LOTS OF TIMES. 275 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,759 COME ON, IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYBODY. 276 00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:23,585 - BUT, HARRY, DOCTORS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SCREW UP. 277 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,318 - OH, MAXINE. 278 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,656 I MEAN, COME ON. 279 00:15:27,691 --> 00:15:29,817 I'VE MADE MISTAKES WITH PATIENTS. 280 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,529 BIG MISTAKES. 281 00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:34,763 - AH, HARRY, CUT THE BULL. 282 00:15:34,818 --> 00:15:36,098 I BLEW IT. 283 00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:38,666 THE TRUTH IS I'M A LOUSY DOCTOR. 284 00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:40,210 WHO'S NEXT? 285 00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:46,875 - CHARLEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 286 00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:48,410 - IT'S NO PROBLEM, HARRY. 287 00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:50,796 I LOVE RIFLING THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. 288 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,381 IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN I GO THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE, 289 00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:55,083 ONLY CLEANER. 290 00:15:55,119 --> 00:15:56,651 TELL ME AGAIN. WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR? 291 00:15:56,687 --> 00:15:57,886 - I'M NOT SURE. 292 00:15:57,921 --> 00:15:59,521 JUST SOMETHING THAT'LL CONVINCE CAROL 293 00:15:59,556 --> 00:16:01,056 SHE WAS LOVED AS A BABY. 294 00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,624 - WHAT'S THIS LITTLE COUCH FOR? 295 00:16:02,659 --> 00:16:04,526 - OH, IT GOES WITH THAT BOX. 296 00:16:04,561 --> 00:16:05,647 THAT LITTLE--YEAH. 297 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:08,787 IT'S CAROL'S FIRST PSYCHIATRY KIT. 298 00:16:11,201 --> 00:16:13,435 - WOW! IT'S GOT EVERYTHING. 299 00:16:13,470 --> 00:16:16,882 IT'S GOTTA LITTLE NOTEBOOK, AND A FAKE BEARD AND-- 300 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,342 HEY! 301 00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:20,521 WHAT ARE THESE PICTURES OF THESE NAKED WOMEN 302 00:16:20,556 --> 00:16:21,967 DOING IN HERE? 303 00:16:23,926 --> 00:16:25,939 - CHARLEY, THOSE ARE INK BLOTS. 304 00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:39,194 - TO YOU MAYBE. 305 00:16:50,653 --> 00:16:52,148 - HERE'S THE LAB REPORT. 306 00:16:52,372 --> 00:16:54,425 MR. GARRISON. IT'S GOOD NEWS. 307 00:16:54,652 --> 00:16:55,926 - YES, IT IS. 308 00:16:56,246 --> 00:16:58,334 PHEW! NOW COMES THE HARD PART. 309 00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:00,341 I GOTTA APOLOGIZE. 310 00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:09,046 MR. GARRISON. 311 00:17:10,306 --> 00:17:11,639 I HAVE YOU'RE TEST RESULTS, AND, UM, 312 00:17:11,674 --> 00:17:13,074 - OH, MY GOD. 313 00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:15,009 - OH, NO! NO! 314 00:17:15,044 --> 00:17:17,478 NO, I WANNA APOLOGIZE FOR TURNING YOU AWAY THE OTHER DAY. 315 00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:19,947 - LET ME HAVE IT STRAIGHT. HOW LONG DO I HAVE? 316 00:17:19,982 --> 00:17:22,216 - ABOUT 50 YEARS. 317 00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:25,306 - SO IT'S ONE OF THOSE SLOW DEGENERATIVE THINGS? 318 00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:28,389 - YOU'RE PERFECTLY HEALTHY. 319 00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:31,125 NOW, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE. 320 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,294 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC. 321 00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:34,361 IT'S A DISEASE. 322 00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:36,516 - JUST WHAT I NEED, ANOTHER ONE. 323 00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,202 - HEY, MR. GARRISON, WHERE YOU GOING? 324 00:17:41,237 --> 00:17:42,670 - I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. 325 00:17:42,705 --> 00:17:43,740 - OH. 326 00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:48,149 WELL, THAT MUST BE A LOAD OFF YOUR MIND. 327 00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:50,778 - I LUCKED OUT...THIS TIME. 328 00:17:50,813 --> 00:17:53,280 - YEAH. SO, YOU PLANNING ON A NEXT TIME? 329 00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:55,816 - NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 330 00:17:55,852 --> 00:17:57,454 - WELL, YOU BETTER, 331 00:17:57,508 --> 00:17:59,496 BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER MISTAKE. 332 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,478 FOR YOU, FOR ME, FOR EVERY DOCTOR. 333 00:18:01,746 --> 00:18:03,036 WE'RE HUMAN. 334 00:18:03,681 --> 00:18:05,872 DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF! 335 00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:07,513 THAT'S MY JOB. 336 00:18:09,402 --> 00:18:11,354 YOU'RE A DAMN GOOD DOCTOR. 337 00:18:11,389 --> 00:18:14,115 THE BEST I'VE EVER WORKED WITH. 338 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,491 - REALLY? 339 00:18:15,526 --> 00:18:17,094 - ACTUALLY, NO. 340 00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:20,699 I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE LEONARD SCHNELL, 341 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,059 BUT YOU'RE RIGHT UP THERE WITH HIM. 342 00:18:22,106 --> 00:18:24,100 COME ON, JUST LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE. 343 00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:25,768 - THANKS, HARRY. 344 00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:27,003 GUESS I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. 345 00:18:27,038 --> 00:18:28,637 - GOOD GIRL. [intercom buzzing] 346 00:18:28,673 --> 00:18:29,981 LET ME GET THIS. 347 00:18:30,842 --> 00:18:32,291 YES, LAVERNE? 348 00:18:32,677 --> 00:18:34,710 YEAH--YEAH. NO, PUT HIM THROUGH. 349 00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:36,564 IT'S KENNY FINNEGAN. 350 00:18:37,815 --> 00:18:38,881 THE MIME. 351 00:18:38,916 --> 00:18:40,483 - OH! MIND IF I TALK TO HIM? 352 00:18:40,518 --> 00:18:42,218 I WAS A LITTLE SHORT WITH HIM THE OTHER DAY. 353 00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:43,554 - HERE YOU GO. 354 00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:47,476 - HELLO, MR. FINNEGAN, HOW ARE YOU? 355 00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:49,280 HELLO? 356 00:18:50,361 --> 00:18:51,520 HELLO? 357 00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:54,831 DAMN IT! SAY SOMETHING, YOU BONEHEADED MUTANT! 358 00:18:59,904 --> 00:19:01,107 - CAROL? 359 00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:03,672 I CAME ACROSS SOMETHING I THINK YOU'LL FIND 360 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:06,329 VERY, VERY INTERESTING. 361 00:19:06,387 --> 00:19:07,600 IT'S YOUR MOTHER'S DIARY. 362 00:19:07,643 --> 00:19:09,241 - I'VE ALREADY READ IT. 363 00:19:09,564 --> 00:19:10,780 - YOU'VE READ IT? 364 00:19:10,815 --> 00:19:13,075 - YEAH, ENOUGH TO KNOW I WASN'T WANTED. 365 00:19:13,518 --> 00:19:15,084 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 366 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,686 - DADDY, I KNOW ALL ABOUT MOM GETTING PREGNANT, 367 00:19:17,722 --> 00:19:19,121 AND YOU BEING IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, 368 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,790 AND YOUR PRECIOUS EDSEL. 369 00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:23,392 I CAME ALONG AND MESSED EVERYTHING UP. 370 00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:24,593 - WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT--HEY! 371 00:19:24,629 --> 00:19:26,028 LISTEN. WAIT A MINUTE! 372 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:29,532 YOU MAY HAVE BEEN UNPLANNED, BUT YOU WERE NEVER UNWANTED. 373 00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:30,870 - YEAH, SURE. 374 00:19:33,452 --> 00:19:34,671 - READ THIS. 375 00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:35,830 - I'VE READ ENOUGH. 376 00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,369 - OBVIOUSLY NOT. 377 00:19:37,775 --> 00:19:39,575 YOUR MOTHER WROTE THIS TO YOU 378 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,610 THE DAY BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. 379 00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:42,730 HERE. 380 00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:48,258 - "DEAR BABY, 381 00:19:49,253 --> 00:19:51,187 "I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE 382 00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,092 "WAITING FOR YOU TO ARRIVE. 383 00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:56,414 "I WISH YOU'D HURRY. 384 00:19:57,128 --> 00:19:59,361 "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, 385 00:19:59,397 --> 00:20:00,563 "AND YOUR FATHER, 386 00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:02,832 "DOCTOR-PLEASE-LIBBY I'M-A-PROFESSIONAL, 387 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,763 IS A NERVOUS WRECK." 388 00:20:05,547 --> 00:20:07,674 - I WASN'T NERVOUS, I WAS EAGER. 389 00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,741 OKAY, I WAS AN EAGER WRECK. 390 00:20:14,201 --> 00:20:16,109 - "WE HAVEN'T MET YET, 391 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,674 "BUT I FEEL CLOSER TO YOU THAN I EVER KNEW WAS POSSIBLE. 392 00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:23,883 "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN IT HAPPENED, 393 00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:26,705 "BUT SOMEHOW, MAGICALLY, 394 00:20:26,885 --> 00:20:28,791 "YOU WERE NO LONGER THIS THING 395 00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:30,655 "GROWING INSIDE MY BODY, 396 00:20:32,997 --> 00:20:35,809 "BUT MY VERY OWN BEAUTIFUL BABY, 397 00:20:36,376 --> 00:20:39,299 AND NOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT MAKES ME CRY." 398 00:20:40,221 --> 00:20:42,771 - SHE ABSOLUTELY ADORED YOU. 399 00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:44,807 - OH, DADDY. - COME HERE, COME HERE. 400 00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,538 - I'M SO SORRY. 401 00:20:46,901 --> 00:20:49,194 I'VE BEEN DRIVING BOTH OF US CRAZY. 402 00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:50,842 I JUST-- 403 00:20:50,903 --> 00:20:55,329 I WISH THAT I COULD BOND WITH MY LITTLE FETAL PERSON. 404 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,875 OOH! - WHAT? 405 00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:00,210 - I DON'T--WHOO! 406 00:21:00,245 --> 00:21:01,745 - WHAT--WHAT--WHAT, WHAT'S WRONG? 407 00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:03,280 - IT'S--IT'S--IT'S THE BABY. 408 00:21:03,315 --> 00:21:04,748 - WHAT--WHAT--WHAT ABOUT THE BABY? 409 00:21:04,783 --> 00:21:06,249 - IT'S--IT'S MOVING. 410 00:21:06,285 --> 00:21:09,353 THE-- MY BABY'S KICKING. 411 00:21:09,388 --> 00:21:10,620 IT'S MY BABY. 412 00:21:10,656 --> 00:21:12,732 MY BABY! FEEL IT! 413 00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,988 OOH! - I FELT IT! 414 00:21:15,461 --> 00:21:17,340 I'M A GRANDPA! 415 00:21:30,109 --> 00:21:32,876 - DEAR BABY, I KNOW YOU CAN'T READ YET, 416 00:21:32,911 --> 00:21:35,588 THOUGH I HOPE YOU WILL BY THE FIRST GRADE. 417 00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:38,994 NOT THAT I'M PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOU, 418 00:21:39,717 --> 00:21:42,431 ALTHOUGH IT WOULD MAKE ME VERY PROUD. 419 00:21:43,022 --> 00:21:47,743 ANYWAY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH, 420 00:21:48,027 --> 00:21:51,695 ALTHOUGH FREUD SAYS THAT LOVE CAN BE A SUBSTITUTE 421 00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:53,930 FOR SOME UNATTAINED EGO IDEAL, 422 00:21:53,966 --> 00:21:57,705 BECOMING A WAY OF SATISFYING ONE'S OWN NARCISSISM. 423 00:22:00,198 --> 00:22:02,745 BUT WHAT DOES FREUD KNOW? 424 00:22:04,777 --> 00:22:05,963 LOVE... 425 00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:08,082 MOMMY. 426 00:22:21,463 --> 00:22:23,024 - HI DR. DOUGLAS. 427 00:22:23,779 --> 00:22:25,137 IT'S ME. 428 00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:28,802 - THE MIME! 429 00:22:28,838 --> 00:22:29,904 - EX MIME. 430 00:22:29,939 --> 00:22:31,538 I GAVE UP ALL THAT NONSENSE. 431 00:22:31,574 --> 00:22:33,340 - WELL, THANK GOODNESS. 432 00:22:41,584 --> 00:22:43,935 [doll talking] - HE'S A VENTRILOQUIST NOW! 433 00:22:43,985 --> 00:22:48,535 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30149

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