Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,679
Can everyone please be quiet?
Sssshhhhh.
2
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,079
Erm, can you listen to Mr Wickers,
please? Settle down. Hang on.
3
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,439
Hang on. If you want their
attention, start with a joke.
4
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,719
What do you call a black milkman?
Right. OK. Hello, everyone.
5
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,319
Welcome to the Abbey Grove
field trip.
6
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,479
Next stop, the Tring Ink Museum
and Petting Zoo.
7
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,479
What do you want? To say a few
words. It's not a wedding.
8
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,279
Now, I only have one rule...
9
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:34,079
There are no rules. Except,
annoyingly, all of the school rules.
10
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,759
And one new rule.
11
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,759
Please don't do anything
Mitchell dares you to do.
12
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,800
Joe.
13
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,239
Joe.
14
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,239
Ah, cringe!
15
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,319
Now, smoking is only permitted
at the front of the coach,
16
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,839
so I can suck up all your
second-hand stuff while I'm driving.
17
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,359
All right? Sit down.
18
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,879
Now, there's no lock on the toilet,
19
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,959
so put a sock on the door if you're
docking at Quimsby... Right.
20
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,079
If you know what I mean.
Um. Do you maybe want to just put on a video?
21
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,079
Oh, yeah. I've got a couple here.
I've got Showgirls
22
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,238
and, er, Predator.
23
00:01:06,239 --> 00:01:07,520
Oh, sweet. Which Predator?
24
00:01:07,521 --> 00:01:08,879
Alfie!
25
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:13,239
Twelve Angry Men.
Is that with Henry Fonda?
26
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,919
Oh, no. My ex-wife and the darts
team. Double top.
27
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,239
Maybe the radio?
28
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,680
You got it. You're the boss.
29
00:01:19,681 --> 00:01:24,480
So kids, what do you call
an Indian with thrush?
30
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:52,454
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru. Support Us and Donate.
31
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,879
Now, er, if you look to your left
you'll see the Cock and Goose.
32
00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,439
The cubicles are
very well connected.
33
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,279
And if you look to your right,
you'll see a lay-by
34
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,080
that is in my opinion
a tad over lit.
35
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:15,119
Oi, what you... Why've you got
a bag of miniatures?
36
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,879
This shit Irish airline, right,
fired my brother
37
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,719
cos he broke company policy.
38
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,679
How? He helped a customer.
Anyways, when he left,
39
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,040
he jacked a load of these
and a couple of life jackets.
40
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,839
Give me that. Look,
just cos we're not in school
41
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,839
doesn't mean you can get drunk.
THESE are confiscated.
42
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,559
It's just those and that hair
makes you look like a guard in a woman's prison.
43
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,039
These are my outdoors clothes.
44
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,759
We're going to the countryside!
45
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,559
Bear Grylls says you have to be
prepared for anything
46
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,359
which is why I am also...
47
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,040
rockin' one of these bad boys.
48
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,599
Multi-purpose utility harness.
49
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,999
Is that a spork?!
Yep. For those tricky little jobs
50
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,079
that a fork just can't handle.
51
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,919
Is it supposed to be that tight?!
Yup.
52
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,599
Can't feel a thing. Chap slap!
53
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,880
Oh! You dick!
54
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,760
Sir, I need your help.
55
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,439
I want a DMC about relationships.
This boy, Finlay, he...
56
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,240
Sir, why can't we go paint balling?
57
00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:27,479
Because it doesn't benefit
an academic subject.
58
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,520
Art!
59
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,279
Art! We're not going paint balling.
60
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,839
Why is it an ink museum AND a
petting zoo? I don't know, Alfie.
61
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,599
Maybe they've got a squid.
62
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,799
This trip is going to be so dull.
63
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,839
Look, I organised this. You told me
you liked animals as well.
64
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,799
Yeah, I do. Tigers and shit.
65
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,839
Anyway, it's a lot better than some
other trips. Yeah, Fraser's taking
66
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:55,240
the English scholars
to see some boring poetry thing.
67
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,279
Hello.
68
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,720
Where's the rap battle?
69
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,080
Tight to me, kids.
70
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,960
Ahhhh. Nature red in tooth and claw.
71
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,119
Hey! Maybe we could go camping
on the way BACK from the zoo.
72
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,559
I really want to teach my kids
how to gut a reindeer with a piece of bark.
73
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,439
I can't. I've got to be back
by seven. Why?
74
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,039
I'm going on a date with this guy.
75
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,199
Date?! We haven't discussed this.
76
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,159
Why are you going on a date with
a guy?
77
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,639
Who is this "guy"?
78
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,359
I don't know. It's a blind date.
A blind date? Oh.
79
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,079
Very risky.
80
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,399
Where did he find you?
81
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,159
The internet? He's not a weirdo.
He's going to take me...
82
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,719
No, no. Don't tell me.
83
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,239
I'll watch the reconstruction
on Crimewatch. Oh, Alfie!
84
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,119
He's a normal guy. Yeah, sure.
85
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,359
Normal guy. Bit of a loner.
86
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,399
Obsessed with sex. Oh, let me guess.
87
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,679
Probably still lives
with his parents.
88
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,199
Don't turn this round on me.
89
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,639
Anyway, how old's Fred West?
90
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,800
My date? 23.
91
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,799
23?! But I'm 23!
92
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,319
Yeah, but he's an old 23.
93
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,399
It's like this many sleeps
till I'm 24.
94
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,519
Yeah, but he's a teacher.
I'm a teacher!
95
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,400
He teaches mentally challenged
children.
96
00:05:22,401 --> 00:05:24,519
Have you seen my class?!
97
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,359
Ow!
98
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,079
Ow! Ow! Stop!
99
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,599
Ow!
100
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,319
Look, if you're going to be
like this all journey,
101
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,479
I'm going to sit next to Mollinson.
Really? What, and let her show you her holiday photos?
102
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,439
Yeah, fine by me.
103
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,680
There's my husband with his snorkel.
104
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,760
And there he is laying out
the tarpaulin.
105
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,760
Have you ever been to Germany?
106
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,399
I just don't understand why Fraser
didn't let me organise my own trip.
107
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,280
Er, maybe because
of your science trip?
108
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,439
Right. That was Mitchell's fault.
He said it was like Spiderman.
109
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,399
Look, all I'm saying is that
I think I should have taken everyone
110
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,599
on like a proper
Bear Grylls expedition.
111
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,879
Teach them how to survive in the
wild. Why would they need that?
112
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,960
What if The Hunger Games came true?
113
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:27,720
We'll see who's laughing
when Jing's killing one of your kids with a bow and arrow.
114
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:48,439
Welcome to Shrub Wood Farm.
115
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:52,640
Now, unfortunately, we have worms.
116
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:59,560
I spent all morning fishing this
out of a weasel.
117
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,759
It's an epidemic.
118
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:09,719
Everything's got them. So remember,
it's a look but don't touch policy.
119
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:15,120
Er, but a private dance
can be arranged later.
120
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,559
I'm joking.
121
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,040
We had to stop doing that.
122
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,439
So, cubs and, er, girls,
123
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,839
have you got any questions
about animals?
124
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:35,159
Sir, I really need to talk to you.
Not now, Chantelle. The boring man is talking.
125
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,839
Any questions at all?
126
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,240
Why do cows have so many tits?
127
00:07:40,241 --> 00:07:41,959
Well...
128
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,199
the cows have udders.
129
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,960
How come you can call dogs bitches,
130
00:07:45,961 --> 00:07:49,119
but not bitches bitches?
Rem Dogg, behave.
131
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,559
Would you rather be a boy
with a dog's head or a dog with a boy's head?
132
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,599
Well, obviously a boy with...
133
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,879
Oi, worms! Is... Is...
Is he talking to me?
134
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,039
My mate Rasheed, yeah, said he found
a beak in one of his McNuggets.
135
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,159
See, I thought the chicken
lays the nugget.
136
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,800
Does it not lay the nugget then?
137
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,719
When the female chicken
is impregnated by the male...
138
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,959
Old MacDonald, does the male chicken
lie to the female chicken
139
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:20,439
just to get into her pants
and then break her heart with a text?
140
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:25,720
Guys, please. Can we show a little
bit of respect to the farmer man?
141
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,600
Ask some serious questions.
142
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,720
Do all meerkats come from Russia?
143
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,279
This is so depressing.
144
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,639
I know. It's like
they're on a spectrum
145
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,839
that's actually beyond the spectrum.
No, the animals!
146
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,720
I can't bear to see them distressed.
147
00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:58,999
Look! Malnourished, all caged up.
148
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,159
I just hope they're not
upsetting the kids.
149
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,880
Oi, sir. Look at its dick.
It's got shit on it!
150
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,199
I think they're coping.
151
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,080
It's got shit on its dick!
152
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,879
Now, kids, prepare to be amazed
153
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,879
by Swinonus rhinonium
154
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,880
or the rhino...
155
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,360
pig!
156
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,760
Wow. Your wife got a name?
157
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,639
That is disgusting.
158
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,519
I've a good mind to rip off the bars
to that cage
159
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,159
and set that animal free.
160
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,959
I've made a terrible mistake
bringing us all here.
161
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,959
Leaving you...
162
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,239
Where's my bitches at?
163
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,839
Show me them titties.
164
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,879
What d'ya say?
165
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,200
Yeah!
166
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,800
Who here thought ink was boring?
167
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,399
OK.
168
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,040
Who here takes a newspaper?
169
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,280
Who's read a book?
170
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,399
So, what's your date
doing with you tonight...
171
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,519
apart from turning you into a dress?
172
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,359
Why are you so obsessed with it?
173
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,279
I'm not obsessed.
174
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:31,519
Can anyone tell me
where ink comes from?
175
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,839
A pen. No.
176
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:38,079
Well, it does come from a pen,
don't it? Yes, but...
177
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,679
originally?
178
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,759
Ryman's.
179
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,879
Oh, my God. He's talking to them
like they're seven.
180
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,080
This is so inappropriate.
181
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,000
Who wishes to play God?
182
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,840
Anyone?
183
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,600
What would you do, pig, if you loved
someone that didn't love you?
184
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,439
Alfie, are you talking
to the rhino pig? No!
185
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,519
I'm just... drinking some Malibu.
186
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,440
I'm depressed, all right? Get
off my back. Why are you depressed?
187
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,599
Miss Gulliver's going on a date
with a guy.
188
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,919
Why can't she see
how much I like her?
189
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,920
Maybe you should let her know.
190
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,599
What, by, like,
making a grand gesture?
191
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,039
Or just tell her.
192
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,079
Yeah, you're right.
193
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,119
I need to let her know
how much I care
194
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,679
by doing something massive,
really bold.
195
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:49,359
Or just tell her. I've got it.
Just tell her. The pig!
196
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,439
Rosie wants this creature
to be happy,
197
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,959
just like I want her to be happy.
198
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:59,879
Alfie, how much Malibu have you
drunk? It needs to run free. Alfie, don't touch it!
199
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,439
It's got worms. Alfie! Alfie!
Run, piggy!
200
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,919
Go, piggy. Go.
201
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,080
Run!
202
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,919
Miss Gulliver's going to be
pretty impressed.
203
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,040
Yeah!
204
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,279
She's not, is she?
205
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,320
Nah.
206
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,359
Yo!
207
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:33,319
Um, so, I was thinking maybe
we should think about leaving.
208
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,759
What have you done?
209
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,559
Nothing.
210
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:40,880
I just don't want you
to be late for your date.
211
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,439
What are you wearing tonight?
212
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,759
Why?
213
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,919
Oh, nothing.
214
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,279
It's just I was talking
to Inky earlier
215
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,799
and he says that in his gift shop
he sells real fur coats.
216
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,680
I was thinking maybe
you could buy one,
217
00:12:57,681 --> 00:13:00,239
team it up
with a little otter scarf.
218
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,119
Right. Everyone back on the bus!
219
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,640
Quickly. Wake him up. Take him out.
Off you go. On the bus. Come on.
220
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,560
We've got two routes back.
221
00:13:21,561 --> 00:13:24,239
Motorway at rush hour.
Or?
222
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,519
Scenic route.
223
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,839
Plenty of lay-bys
to dip into round Tring.
224
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,719
Why don't you just use your sat nav
to find the quickest route back?
225
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,679
Never used one, never will.
226
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,920
Why?
227
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,760
Won't be told what to do
by a woman.
228
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,680
We're lost.
229
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,999
Bieber, take the wheel.
I'm not sure I can trust this fart.
230
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,440
I can't! I've been drinking.
231
00:13:56,441 --> 00:13:57,720
So have I.
232
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,200
Watch out!
233
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,799
Jesus! Was it... Was that a person?
234
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,120
Paul's fault! I need to dust
the prints off this wheel. I'm going to check.
235
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,599
Is everyone OK?
236
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,320
If anybody asks, the pig hit US.
237
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,719
How do you think it escaped?
238
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,999
Oh, God. Do you think
someone let it out? Um...
239
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,199
Maybe it let itself out.
240
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,880
Does anyone know anything about this?
241
00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:41,399
I won't be annoyed if you're honest
with me. They always say that.
242
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,640
Did you know about this? What?
243
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,319
Fine.
244
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:55,799
I freed the pig, miss,
because it looked sad. Well,
245
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,440
that's stupid,
but I admire the gesture.
246
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,199
You stole my gesture!
Where's my bra, eh?
247
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,199
You've got it, haven't you? You took
it off in the pool, didn't you?
248
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,040
Oh, God. He's concussed.
Sit him down.
249
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:12,880
Give him some oxygen.
250
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:19,279
Oh, God. You're going to have to call
the AA. I haven't got any reception.
251
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,039
Neither have I.
252
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,759
Well, we can't go back to that farm.
253
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,279
I know! I could trek cross country,
254
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,639
find the nearest town, get help.
255
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,199
Oh, OK. But...
256
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,359
Well, come straight back, yeah?
Yeah. Sure.
257
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,399
Right.
258
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,959
I'm going to need
to gather up a team.
259
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,320
Not you.
260
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,839
Lilt goes flat so quickly.
261
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,879
Oh, I love being outside, me.
262
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,359
Reminds me of being in the scouts.
263
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:01,439
Our scoutmaster, Mr Rogers, he was
my hero. Aw, why? What was he like?
264
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:05,039
So brave. This one time, right,
he fought off a bear.
265
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,359
A bear? In England?! No.
266
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,919
In Wales.
267
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,679
We'd all gone skinny dipping
and we came back to the campsite
268
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,560
and Mr Rogers had
fought off this bear
269
00:16:13,561 --> 00:16:16,479
that had broken into our tents
and eaten all of our clothes.
270
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,719
Did you ever see this bear?
271
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,719
No, but it must have been
a very picky bear
272
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,479
cos it didn't touch anything else.
273
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,079
Not even the food.
274
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,439
Sir, wasn't there a sign on the road
that said Tring was that way?
275
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,199
Signs. We don't need signs.
We're in the wild.
276
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,280
This is the only sign I need...
277
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,360
wind sign.
278
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,079
Yup, that's north.
We get through these woods,
279
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,120
we'll hit Tring.
280
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,279
Lunch?
281
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,399
Bear says you never know when
you're going to be able to eat next.
282
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,919
Did you kill this?!
Yep. Used my trowel. It looks like
283
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,559
it's been dead for weeks.
Anyone want a forest berry?
284
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,399
Don't! No, that's a yew berry.
285
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,399
It's the most poisonous berry
in Britain.
286
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,999
Uh-huh! They're cranberries.
I know that cos they're red.
287
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:10,079
Yeah, well, I'm a biology teacher,
so just trust me. Anyone?
288
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,559
Jing? Come on.
You guys eat anything.
289
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,240
Like those poo-ey
hundred-year-old eggs. Urgh.
290
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,999
Yeah, I'm sure they are delicious,
but so are these berries.
291
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,399
Alfie, we've actually...
Anyone? No? Fine.
292
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,079
More for me.
293
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,760
Mmmmm. Yum, yum, yum.
294
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,399
Fizzy berry.
295
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,760
Oh, screw this. I'm eating my rolls.
296
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,399
What?!
297
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,480
Packed lunch, bellend.
298
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:42,759
You...
299
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,959
I tried to tell you, but you
didn't listen. Have some of mine.
300
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:51,759
No. Fine. No. You eat your
sandwiches with all their E numbers.
301
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,359
I am feasting off Mother Nature.
302
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,280
Ooh! A mushroom!
303
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,839
Right. OK.
304
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,120
How do you gut this?
305
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,639
Come on, guys.
306
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,999
We need to keep moving.
307
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,520
Alfie?
308
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,319
We're being followed.
309
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,679
Are you OK? His eyes look funny.
310
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,879
He looks like my brother
after he came back from Ibiza!
311
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:32,160
Alfie, do you know where we are?
312
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,439
Will somebody please tell that frog
313
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,840
I do not want to smoke his pipe.
314
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,879
People!
315
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,239
A bush.
316
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,599
Everyone wave. Get their attention.
I know. I'll chuck a rock at them.
317
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,679
No, don't! Don't. We need their help.
318
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,999
Hello! Come on, guys. Help me.
319
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,599
Hello!
320
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,999
Help us!
321
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,479
Help us.
322
00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,839
Over here!
323
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,080
Where's Alfie?
324
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,800
Shitty harness.
325
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,319
Nobody drink from the stream.
326
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,239
They were really bad berries.
327
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,680
Look at that! Look at that! Bloody
disgusting.
328
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,719
Disgusting. Bloody kids!
329
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,120
Oi! Oi!
330
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,080
Sir shitted in the river.
331
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:30,119
That was so sick. Why do YOU have
to ruin everything? Rosie...
332
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,639
No. No. I organised this day,
333
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,359
but you decide it's rubbish,
so you make it rubbish.
334
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,999
You hated the farm too.
I told you not to eat those berries and what did you do?
335
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,359
OK. I admit that. You're stupid.
336
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,079
You're immature. You only ever
think about yourself.
337
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,919
I think about you all the time.
338
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,559
That's why I let the piggy free.
339
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,199
You let the pig free?
340
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,678
You said you admired the gesture.
341
00:19:51,679 --> 00:19:53,560
Yeah, I admire it being made
by a child.
342
00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:57,279
But it's free-ee-ee.
I can't believe you think I'd ever be interested in you.
343
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,320
You're such a pathetic,
selfish, little boy.
344
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,559
I think I might need a dock leaf.
345
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,760
That bog roll was a little nettle-y.
346
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,799
Go away.
347
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,559
I want to be on my own for a bit.
What's that, sir?
348
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,200
I've dug myself a bucket.
349
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,399
I'm sorry for being agro.
It's cos my man...
350
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,160
Finlay. He left her. He's my first
long-term relationship.
351
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,199
And by long-term...?
352
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,679
He took me to Strada, like, twice.
OK.
353
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,639
He said he loved me
just so he could sleep with me.
354
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,199
What happened? He slept with me.
355
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,239
No, I meant after that.
356
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,639
Oh. He told me I wasn't mature
enough. But I am mature.
357
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,959
I like Adele
358
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,680
and I've not been in Claire's
Accessories for, like, two years.
359
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,320
Sir, why don't you come sit with us?
360
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,679
I don't think Miss Gulliver
wants to talk to me much.
361
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,600
But we do.
362
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,399
OK.
363
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,440
I guess.
364
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,439
Hey, guys.
365
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,560
Sorry about the... stream and stuff.
366
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:37,559
Look. Don't worry. I'll make a fire.
I got all the badges in scouts.
367
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,439
Fire-making, knot-tying,
368
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,558
secret-keeping.
369
00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:42,520
There isn't a badge
for keeping secrets.
370
00:21:42,521 --> 00:21:44,159
Er, shows how much you know.
371
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,639
Mr Rogers said it was the most
important badge a scout could get.
372
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,319
Look, if we're going to get
this fire lit, we're going to need to work as a team.
373
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,639
Chantelle, Joe.
You go looking for kindling.
374
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,239
Mitchell, Stephen. We're going
to need flints. Ideally quartz.
375
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,159
Anything that's going to be able
to create a spark...
376
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,679
You ALL smoke?
377
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,919
Jesus.
378
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,199
I'm a terrible role model.
379
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,759
They call me teach
Because I do.
380
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,159
I'll bring you times tables
Three times two.
381
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,599
You'll think you're bad ass
But I tell you UCAS would disagree.
382
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,879
No university going to give you
A degree so don't try for LSE
383
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,199
Cos you'll need
A dual science award at GCSE.
384
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,559
And the only way
You wouldn't need that
385
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,480
Is if your school had been on
International Baccalaureate.
386
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,839
So go figure, pull the trigger
387
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,079
Shit's getting bigger, my...
388
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,120
Man.
389
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,320
Brap.
390
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,480
Ah, finally. Look, cars!
391
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,240
Right. I'll go ask them for help.
392
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,919
Hello! Um...
393
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,719
Could you give me a hand?
394
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,639
Oh, God. Jesus.
395
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,959
He's a wriggler, Geoff.
396
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,679
Get off. IT'S All RIGHT.
They're friendly.
397
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,079
Could you just let go? Sorry.
I think it might alarm the children.
398
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,319
You brought your kids?! Oh, leave
him, Geoff. He's probably Cornish.
399
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,720
I'm terribly sorry.
I think there might have been
400
00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:18,720
a little bit
of a misunderstanding here.
401
00:23:18,721 --> 00:23:22,639
I'm not actually a dogger per se.
402
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,799
We've got ourselves a puppy, Pam.
403
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,519
We don't bite. Unless you ask.
404
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,239
Look I'm a teacher
at Abbey Grove School.
405
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:35,879
Oh! Do you know Olive Mollinson?
Yes. And of course you do too.
406
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,119
Um, we've had a bit
of a traffic accident.
407
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,799
Olive's currently stuck on a coach
with a load of children
408
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,519
and we'd really appreciate
your help getting back.
409
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,919
Oh, sorry, love. Of course we'll
help. Would you give us ten minutes?
410
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,199
Oh, yes. Terribly sorry.
411
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,159
Of course. You can stay if you want.
You can stay.
412
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,920
I... I think I'll pass.
Suit yourself.
413
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,159
How many of you are there?!
Four. Four.
414
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,720
Five. Didn't see you down there,
Robin. Sorry about that, mate.
415
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:26,719
Everything OK? Yup. What the hell
are they doing, sir? Are they...?
416
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,760
They're probably... Bird watching!
Yeah. Yup. They're bird watching.
417
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,479
They're going to drive us home
in ten minutes. They're just, er...
418
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,039
finishing off a Robin.
419
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,400
At night? Yeah.
420
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,680
Where...?!
421
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,240
So, we made it.
422
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,719
Alfie, I...
423
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,399
I just want to... No.
424
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,559
Before you say anything,
425
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,199
you're right, I am an idiot.
426
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,479
No, I over-reacted.
427
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,119
Look, I do a lot of...
428
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,639
stupid things,
429
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,959
but I don't do it
430
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,239
because I'm trying
to be selfish.
431
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,880
I do it because I care about you...
432
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,880
even if you don't like me.
433
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,919
I do like you.
434
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,879
You mean a lot to me
435
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,999
and I'm sorry...
436
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,079
Sorry for me.
437
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,439
Oh, come here.
438
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,040
Ohhh. You've got such a good heart.
439
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,159
Have you just been sick on my back?
440
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,800
Berries.
441
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,200
Do you want me to scoop it up
with my trowel? Yeah.
442
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,079
Look, sir. A long rubber branch.
443
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,839
Is this for the birds to perch on?
444
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,279
Do branches have veins?!
445
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,360
Joe, put that down.
446
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,719
So, we got back in time after all.
Yeah.
447
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,399
I have to admit, you did sort of
save the day in the end.
448
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,000
Don't worry it was nothing.
449
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,719
You, er, looking for a lift home?
450
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,559
There's two routes.
The B roads round Wendover
451
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,279
or we can get the M25...
452
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,199
Sshhh. You had me at Wendover.
453
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,240
Not yet, luv. Not yet.
454
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,719
Your carriage awaits.
455
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,279
Where's he taking you?
456
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,719
Strada.
457
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,239
Hi, you must be Finlay.
458
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,799
Rosie, it's so nice to meet...
Finlay?
459
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,639
Finlay?! You bastard!
460
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,360
He's not worth it, babes.
461
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,520
Oh, God.
462
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,800
Where's Fraser?
463
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,279
Hi. Um, have you seen
seven children?
464
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,639
All English scholars about yea high.
Smell of Wotsits.
465
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,999
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru. Support Us and Donate.
466
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:08,599
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35172
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof