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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,750
Oh-h, lots of hard work here, Cass.
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,990
Feels hefty. Feels like very hefty art.
3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,990
I've been really inspired lately.
4
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,070
New paintings, new collage work...
5
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,310
Is that sticking things down?
6
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,510
It's so much more than
sticking things down, Jan.
7
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,990
It is sticking things down.
8
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,510
I need to make two grand
from selling my art.
9
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,790
Finally going travelling.
10
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,670
Two months away, just going to do it!
11
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:21,710
Great.
12
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,750
Fuck you!
13
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,390
- What? - You don't
believe I'll go, do you?
14
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,990
You never believe I'll go travelling.
15
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,310
Your disbelief has been
this kind of cosmic lasso
16
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,710
keeping me here for years.
17
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,590
It is your fault that
I've never travelled.
18
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,630
I haven't got a cosmic lasso!
19
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,830
You've been saying for 20
years you'll go travelling,
20
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,510
and you've never been travelling, so...
21
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,270
I'm not scared, if that's what you think.
22
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,430
Andrew thinks I'm a natural traveller.
23
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,550
He says we're all basically nomads.
24
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,030
If you ignore the last
12,000 years of human history,
25
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,670
he makes a powerful point.
26
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:48,910
Haven't you got itchy feet?
27
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,190
Literally, yes, but I
don't want to travel.
28
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,950
Although, Mum will want me
to do the sup-viz this week.
29
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,030
Go on the road and glad hand
our suppliers like Dad used to.
30
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,550
All right, Neil Armstrong.
31
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,550
Cass, you've spent time with
Andrew recently, haven't you?
32
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,630
Is he definitely the same guy
we fostered 30 years ago?
33
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,590
Yeah, maybe. Does it matter?
34
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,510
It's who you are now that's important.
35
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,750
Oasis and I think Jesus both said that.
36
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:15,030
I was saying to Alison that I think he might
be the Devil wanting to steal my life.
37
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,070
No offence, Stephen,
38
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,320
but who the fuck would
want to steal your life?
39
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,070
This was his itinerary for
the last supplier visit.
40
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,270
Brewers, farmers, vineyards,
places he stayed...
41
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,390
I'm honoured to keep the tradition going,
42
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,590
and to pass on the sad news about
Dad to those who don't know.
43
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,710
Oh, I've asked Andrew to do the sup-viz.
44
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:44,830
Right.
45
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,750
So the face of the
business is now his face?
46
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,870
Great, thanks.
47
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,990
Well, one of you has
to stay and run the pub.
48
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,550
I'm helping Julian with the
church's drug outreach.
49
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,110
- Geoff could run the pub.
- Geoff?
50
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,910
He's done it before in the old days.
51
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,630
Oh, he did a grand job.
He's a natural publican.
52
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,590
A lot like, you know...
53
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:02,680
your dad.
54
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,990
So, share the driving?
55
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,750
I can only drive an automatic.
56
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,430
Who only drives an automatic?
57
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,590
Modern people. You think it's
a less manly kind of car?
58
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:20,030
You think pulling a gear stick
makes you Isambard Kingdom Brunel?
59
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,270
Never mind. I went coast to
coast USA in an RV one summer,
60
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,630
so I think a round trip to
Hunstanton should be fine.
61
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,110
Is there anything you haven't done?
62
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,190
I mean anything in the
whole fucking world?
63
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,270
Uh, I've never done a parachute jump.
64
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,630
Wow, good God!
65
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,870
We finally found something
the great Andrew...
66
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,430
No! Actually, I have!
67
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,680
I forgot. I raised �3,000 for Barnardo's.
68
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,830
What can I do you for? The usual?
69
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,150
I don't know what that is.
70
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,150
Is it beer?
71
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,110
Don't worry, if the wife
rings, I'll say you're not here.
72
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,510
But you've probably got a mobile.
73
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,630
Just popping out for a fag.
74
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,830
Oh, light up in here, mate.
75
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,030
A pub needs smoke.
76
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,350
You shouldn't be able to see
the hand in front of your face
77
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,590
or smell the rank stench
of the guy next to you.
78
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,710
No offence, Colin.
79
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,950
What about the smoke alarms?
80
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,190
I'll take the batteries out.
81
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,110
We're not in the EU now, Jan.
82
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,150
Anyway, how many people used to actually
die from second-hand smoke in pubs?
83
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,390
About 600 a year.
84
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,710
OK, well that is a lot.
85
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,550
But this is only for a few days.
86
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,390
Think of it as an olden-days theme pub.
87
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,940
Smoking, cheese-and-pickle rolls, and
a collection for the lifeboat men.
88
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,870
My first patron.
89
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,150
Oh, the stampede begins!
90
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,630
Just got a text from Stephen.
91
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,110
Pissed off Andrew's on his sup-viz safari.
92
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,550
I'm concerned at how obsessed
Stephen's become with him.
93
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,870
He is totally obsessed with Andrew.
94
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,920
Oh...
95
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,910
This one's, uh... good.
96
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,510
You know, dolphins are actually
more intelligent than humans.
97
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,670
It's just they haven't got any
hands, so that sort of fucked them.
98
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,950
Is that Andrew?
99
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,230
Suppose it looks a bit
like him, I hadn't thought.
100
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,870
And is that Andrew?
101
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,270
No, that's a little old lady.
102
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,990
Her face looks quite a
lot like Andrew's face.
103
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,470
Seems like someone else is
a bit obsessed with Andrew.
104
00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,550
Yes.
105
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,240
Don't worry, I won't tell Tom.
106
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,630
So immediately before you
came to us, you were...
107
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,470
With my dad, my actual dad.
108
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,430
Briefly and horribly.
109
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,350
But before that, I was
in care for quite a while.
110
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,910
And after us was...
111
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:19,070
Care, Mum, fostered in Stoke
with chaotics, Dad again,
112
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,510
care, fostered with some
quite nice boring people,
113
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,350
then care, then done.
114
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,430
Wide world.
115
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,470
Got you.
116
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,790
So care, fostered, Mum...
117
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,150
No, care, Mum...
118
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,190
Is this a test?
119
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,150
No, just interested!
120
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,710
- Must have been tough.
- No-one has an easy life, Stephen.
121
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,350
- We all have a cross.
- Yeah, what's mine?
122
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,310
That you're still in
love with your ex-wife.
123
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,430
Alison's with Tom, she's moving away,
124
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,270
you need to move on but you can't.
125
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,430
We need to find someone for
you while we're on tour.
126
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,990
We're not on tour.
127
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,230
Jimmy Page didn't visit
pork scratchings factories.
128
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,800
Not at his peak, anyway.
129
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,390
So this is Sunnyvale Farm Foods.
130
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,110
I was expecting a farmhouse.
131
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,990
I thought we might get a cream tea.
132
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,270
Hi, looking for Kevin Patterson?
133
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,310
Yeah, that's me.
134
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,310
We're from the John Barleycorn in Stroud.
135
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,310
I have some bad news.
136
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,590
Laurie passed away a few weeks ago.
137
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,910
We've come in his place
to carry on the tradition.
138
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,630
I'm his son, Stephen.
139
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,310
And this is...
140
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,110
his Andrew.
141
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,390
Laurie passed away?
142
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,960
I know it's... it's very sad, very sudden.
143
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,390
Who's Laurie?
144
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,790
Laurie Nichols, from the John Barleycorn.
145
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,190
In Stroud. Laurie visited you
every year at about this time.
146
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,230
Every year?
147
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,830
He'd do a little tour visiting
his suppliers, the sup-viz.
148
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,120
Why? No-one else does that, do they?
149
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,430
So you obviously stock
our snacks in your pub?
150
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,630
The pork scratchings.
151
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,470
They're great scratchings.
Texture, fat ratio, seasoning,
152
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,510
excellent.
153
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,150
You want to come see how we make
them so it's not a wasted journey?
154
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,110
Sure, good to know the
links in the supply chain.
155
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,030
- Oh, Jesus!
- Good God!
156
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,430
We have to stop selling them!
157
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,910
We can't be involved with that!
158
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,360
They really do scratch the
shit out of those pigs!
159
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:04,870
Three Jagerbombs, please.
160
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,830
ID?
161
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,710
What, was this taken
ten years in the future
162
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,350
just after you had a head transplant?
163
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,550
- Come on, hop it!
- Give the lads a drink.
164
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,870
- They're underage!
- Chillax, Jan.
165
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,270
Lads need to learn to drink in pubs.
166
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,470
The alternative, staying
at home not drinking,
167
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,590
can lead often to jihad.
168
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,150
Just keep yourselves to yourselves.
169
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,430
What if I say "Free
drinks or I grass you up"?
170
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,720
I would fucking blind you!
171
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,230
Geoff, this is a kind of anarchy.
172
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,790
If a copper comes in here now,
173
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,670
that's our licence right up the pictures.
174
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,110
I'm just bringing a taste of
the '70s back, like BBC Four.
175
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,070
But it was a different era back then,
176
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,830
like all the sex cases say.
177
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,990
As a boy, I'd watch bare-knuckle
fights down at the rec.
178
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,910
Two fit, young Gypsy men,
179
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,430
not necessarily Gypsies, that's racist,
180
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,830
but they were always Gypsies,
181
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:57,350
stripped to the waist punching seven
shades of shit out of each other.
182
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,790
Magic.
183
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,990
I've only ever had weed, so I...
184
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,350
I can't relate directly to your situation.
185
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:07,920
But know that you are loved by God
and by those who believe in Him.
186
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,790
The outreach team are
here to do exactly that.
187
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,190
Reach out.
188
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,750
So not exactly that, but you understand.
189
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,990
You've never had acid, Ellen?
190
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,750
No, just weed.
191
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,030
Never succumbed.
192
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,470
Oh, the restaurant's Thai.
193
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,590
Fantastic!
194
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,790
Yeah, I'm not great with chilli and so on.
195
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,110
Intermittent IBS.
196
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,310
Sometimes, it's fine.
197
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,270
Sometimes, it's sort of mayhem.
198
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,870
Don't worry, I'll choose for you.
199
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,710
Thai food isn't about heat,
it's about complex flavours.
200
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,310
Presumably, you've been to Thailand.
201
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,670
Who hasn't been to Thailand?
202
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,070
Oh, God, now I come to
think of it, you're right.
203
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,590
No-one!
204
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,590
Do you want to find somewhere else?
205
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,150
No, it's fine.
206
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,590
We don't want to be stuck
on the moors in a storm.
207
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,230
Might get fucked by bears or something.
208
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,510
Sorry, I'm sure you've been fucked
by bears in a yurt in Istanbul
209
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:10,960
and it was magical.
210
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,320
Oh, Jesus.
211
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,830
- Are you, uh...?
- Let's not even mention it.
212
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,000
Have some rice, maybe?
213
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,790
Shall I ask for a spoon?
214
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,110
It's fine, really.
215
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,230
I don't like any of it,
216
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,080
so not being able to pick it
up is actually an advantage.
217
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,270
What wine is that?
218
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,750
Screw-top.
219
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,750
I'm sorry you don't like your food.
You used to love spicy Nik Naks.
220
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,350
You ate those all the time
when we played Clunk Splash.
221
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,110
What was Clunk Splash?
222
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,110
The game we played on the waste ground.
223
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,150
Down by the canal.
224
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,920
Bad luck. Clunk, but no splash.
225
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,870
Clunk splash!
226
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,310
Do you not remember? It was you, me and...
227
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,470
Smelly Ellis.
228
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,550
Smelly Ellis?
229
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,110
You don't remember Smelly Ellis?
230
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,230
Dark hair, looked a bit like...
231
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,990
Harris, thingy Harris.
232
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,030
Rolf Harris?
233
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,030
No, the other one, Keith Harris!
234
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,430
But without Orville.
235
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,790
Remember?
236
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,590
I think so, quite smelly.
237
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,150
Very. Smelled like damp biscuits
with a bit of shit on them.
238
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,440
And then he just... disappeared.
239
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,270
How is everything?
240
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,670
Oh, perfect level of grachai.
241
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,510
And the prawn crackers with the nam
phrik shouldn't work, but so does.
242
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,630
More wine?
243
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,390
Yes, please, we're on
the second cheapest red.
244
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,590
How do you mean Smelly Ellis disappeared?
245
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,590
He just wasn't there. One
day, no Smelly Ellis.
246
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,710
I guess his family moved away...
247
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,030
really suddenly with no warning.
248
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,990
And so we stopped going
to the waste ground...
249
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,710
by the canal.
250
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,750
Right.
251
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,470
Would you like to taste it?
252
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,560
I drink it so quickly the tongue
doesn't really get involved.
253
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,280
Andrew?
254
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,750
We didn't...
255
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:07,790
What?
256
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,550
Did we kill Smelly Ellis?
257
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,270
And dump him in the canal?
258
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,150
People don't just disappear!
259
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,950
Sometimes children kill other children!
260
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,390
Lord Of The Flies...
261
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,830
Not Bugsy Malone, but...
262
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,150
We didn't kill Smelly Ellis.
263
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,790
His overnight disappearance can
be explained away, I'm sure.
264
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,710
I'm really scared we killed him.
265
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,230
I didn't kill Smelly Ellis.
266
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,670
But...
267
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,150
did I kill Smelly Ellis?
268
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,600
Do you remember killing Smelly Ellis?
269
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,950
I'm not doing this!
270
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,120
This didn't actually happen!
271
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,750
I genuinely don't know!
272
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,110
What's it say in your diary?
273
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,830
I did look this up earlier,
274
00:10:53,880 --> 00:11:00,070
and there is an entry saying that you and
Smelly Ellis went to the waste ground without me
275
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,150
because I had to have my verruca frozen.
276
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,710
Fuck! Do you think...?
277
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,670
But my diary isn't gospel.
278
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,310
Maybe he said goodbye and we forgot.
279
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,750
That's far more likely
than you killing him.
280
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,990
But... But what if I got a red mist
and lost control like Kenneth Noye or Naomi Campbell or the Hulk?
281
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,510
Can we google Smelly Ellis?
282
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,150
Do you know his first name?
283
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,710
Or maybe Ellis is his first name,
284
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,190
in which case, do you know his surname?
285
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,430
No.
286
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,560
Let's get some sleep.
287
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,480
Do you want to sleep in here?
288
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,590
Yeah, I met Laurie once at a tasting
when I first opened the vineyard.
289
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,110
And I spoke to him on the phone but
he didn't come here every year.
290
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,550
No, we're hearing this a lot.
291
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:53,710
So red is absolutely an
option in England right now.
292
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,670
It needs to be lighter stuff.
293
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,560
This is a Dornfelder.
294
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,510
Medium tannins. So there's
a very rich mouth feel.
295
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:08,350
But some acidity, which
is good. Oh, there we go.
296
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,510
A lovely glimpse of a floral note.
297
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,110
It's tasty. Fruity.
298
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,110
I like it.
299
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,030
It is incredibly fruity and "tasty"
is exactly the word I'd use.
300
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,470
Is it quite strong?
301
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,510
- 14.
- Nice.
302
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,230
Not really worth bothering with
anything below a 14, is it?
303
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,390
Absolutely. Below 14, it's a mixer.
304
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,960
- Do you like a dry white?
- As I am one, yes, I do!
305
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:40,430
That's when I decided to be as happy
as possible as often as possible.
306
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,190
Jesus, please tell me how you do that!
307
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,150
I've never been happy.
308
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,070
What does it feel like?
309
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,710
This!
310
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,870
Stephen, really, you've never been happy?
311
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,750
I have moments, you know, but not
for longer than a few minutes...
312
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,510
.. a couple of times a year.
313
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,870
I imagine you're happy
much of the time, Andrew?
314
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,790
Does that make me shallow and simple?
315
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,310
Oh, no. I can tell you're far from that.
316
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,880
It looks like we need
another bottle of happiness.
317
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,910
Fuck me, she's perfect.
318
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,110
She likes you.
319
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,390
No, she doesn't.
320
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,640
- Does she?
- She is definitely into you.
321
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,310
I want to stay here forever.
322
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,790
It's idyllic.
323
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,990
I'll marry Annie and
there'll be no more worry
324
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,670
other than the worry about which
delicious wine to drink next.
325
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,790
Ta-da!
326
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,710
We should be getting a cab
to a B&B or something.
327
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,270
Stay here. I've got a spare bedroom
with two beds already made up.
328
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,230
But is anyone else getting
chilly? Shall we go inside?
329
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,670
I think I'll be turning in,
actually, if that's not too boring.
330
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,310
Oh.
331
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,550
You'll stay up, won't you,
Stephen, for a nightcap?
332
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,830
Thanks, I will.
333
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,360
Pop a jaunty, little cap on the night.
334
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,790
My blood alcohol must never
drop below a certain level,
335
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,870
like in Speed.
336
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:03,850
You're funny.
337
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,470
So are you.
338
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,790
They say that's key to
being attracted to someone.
339
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,390
Oh! Do they say that?
340
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,790
They do say that, whoever "they" are.
341
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,680
This is a new bottle.
342
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,680
What are you getting?
343
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,560
- Plums.
- Mmm.
344
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,710
Big, full plums.
345
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,350
Yeah, I'm getting that too.
346
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,720
Big, full...
347
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,720
.. bursting plums.
348
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,430
I think Annie's an alcoholic.
349
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,630
Possibly.
350
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,150
I don't like to judge.
351
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,790
You should keep in touch. She
could help you to get over Alison.
352
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,310
I'm totally over Alison.
353
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,270
It's YOU who needs to get over
the fact that I'm over her.
354
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,990
Do you think you might also
have an issue with drink?
355
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,350
No.
356
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,390
I mean, sure, I could never actually stop,
357
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,470
that would be terrifying,
but I function just fine.
358
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,400
It's like my medicine,
like a tasty insulin.
359
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,990
Oh, I found an entry in my diary
with Smelly Ellis's first name.
360
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,430
Fuck!
361
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,550
OK.
362
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,990
It was Harri. But the Welsh
form, with an I, not a Y.
363
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,110
So, easier to find him on Google?
364
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,350
Yes.
365
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,550
Did you google him?
366
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,760
I did.
367
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,950
Someone with that name, our age,
368
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,110
is a chiropodist in Toronto.
369
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,150
So his family must have emigrated.
370
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,270
I guess. It's the most
plausible explanation.
371
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,790
- And there's a photo.
- Does it look like him?
372
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,150
Yeah, I think.
373
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,230
I mean...
374
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,350
.. yeah, why not?
375
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,830
I can certainly imagine it's him.
376
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,670
So we can say... We can
agree pretty conclusively,
377
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,670
that I didn't kill a little
boy with a piece of metal.
378
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,670
Yeah, sure.
379
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,000
Phew.
380
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,590
Just sent my telly off. Sold it on eBay.
381
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,190
I won't need a TV when I come back
from Indonesia or wherever I go.
382
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,870
You've sold a lot of your stuff.
383
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,430
All my stuff. Feels like a detox.
384
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,790
Ridding myself of all my possessions.
385
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,750
How big is your travel fund now, then?
386
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,910
�2,000.
387
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,910
Great, that's enough to go
travelling, then, isn't it?
388
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,510
Not quite. It's not really, no.
389
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,910
I thought you said that was
the exact amount you needed.
390
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,070
I mean, I'm tripping,
but I think I remember.
391
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,230
OK.
392
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,350
Yes.
393
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,110
Here I go, then. Travelling!
394
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,430
- Did you say you're tripping?
- That's why I'm here.
395
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:50,230
Pastoral care. Ellen's
in the sky with diamonds.
396
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,430
She's "fried on bong-go",
as I believe they say.
397
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,430
I just want you to know, Cass,
I can see inside your throat.
398
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,840
I thought you should know, I can see that.
399
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,510
It feels, in a way,
like Andrew and I might
400
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,830
possibly have sort of bonded on this trip.
401
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,790
- Kind of.
- Has he brainwashed you?
402
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:09,910
I don't think so.
403
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,830
In fact, he's been reassuring
me that I didn't kill a child.
404
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,070
What?
405
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,350
W-W-We thought I might have beaten
a boy to death when I was 12.
406
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,070
But he worked out that I
almost certainly didn't.
407
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,750
Of course you didn't kill a child!
408
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,950
What are you talking about?!
409
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,230
No, right.
410
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,550
Saying it out loud to someone else
does make it seems a bit weird.
411
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,270
Do we still think Andrew
might be the Devil?
412
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,630
Demon minimum.
413
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,390
How's the rest of the trip, apart
from him fucking your mind to hell?
414
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,750
Well, I almost had sex last night...
415
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,270
.. with another person.
416
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,190
I'm chalking it up as a technical win.
417
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,770
Go, you! Oh, sorry, Stephen, phone.
418
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:44,860
I'll catch you later.
419
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,710
Who was that?
420
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,350
Annie from the vineyard.
421
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,030
- Just checking in.
- Right.
422
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,390
Shall we head home via
the pasty suppliers?
423
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,520
Sure, let's go and collect
some old baffled stares.
424
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,030
Hi, two steak pasties, please.
425
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,870
Right you are, my love. Hot?
426
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,630
- Yes, please. - We do actually
stock your pasties in our pub.
427
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,110
Oh, yeah? Which one?
428
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,710
The John Barleycorn in Stroud.
429
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,950
What, Laurie's place?
430
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,430
Is he parking up? He's
terrible at parking.
431
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,430
You have to leap two foot to the kerb.
432
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,790
He...
433
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,080
I'm afraid Laurie passed away.
434
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,990
No!
435
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,190
No!
436
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,310
Look, can I get you a...?
437
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,990
It's just pasties, sorry.
438
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,590
So, Laurie was...
439
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,920
.. a friend?
440
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:45,310
Or just a, a very loyal pasty buyer?
441
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,510
He was my lover.
442
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,630
Shit the bed.
443
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,710
This would be the main time of year...
444
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,590
.. a week in the summer.
445
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,510
But he'd nip down for the odd weekend.
446
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,270
How long were you...?
447
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,430
22 years.
448
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,750
He loved me and I loved him.
449
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,350
We made the most of our time together.
450
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,150
We used to go salsa dancing.
451
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,510
We used to water-ski.
452
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,990
Dad, water-skiing?
453
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,150
A bit of scuba, too.
454
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,910
I'm very sorry that we had
to bring you such bad news.
455
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,390
I can't believe it. I'll have to...
456
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,070
.. dig out the old videos of me and
Laurie later, give them a watch.
457
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,230
V-Videos of Dad? Could I possibly...?
458
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,470
They're sex videos.
459
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,480
You're fine, then.
460
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,350
I'm just saying she deserves to know.
461
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,910
It'll open a wound.
462
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,990
Which can heal and close.
463
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,990
He's dead, so it won't close!
464
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,630
It'll remain open all the
time like Chicken Cottage.
465
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,470
- We should tell her.
- Tell who what?
466
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,150
We found out Dad was having an affair!
467
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,990
- Which one?
- What do you mean, which one?
468
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,870
There were a few over the years.
He was like a dog with two dicks.
469
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,750
Was this Christine, with the
funny arm, or Old Big Tits?
470
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,750
- What was her name? Marion?
- Dad had various mistresses?!
471
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,070
Mum and I weren't sure that you had
the emotional resources to handle it.
472
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,310
I'm not some emotional
cripple! I can handle emotion!
473
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,310
- Stephen, you just need to breathe.
- Fuck off.
474
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,390
- Just take a breath, mate.
- Fuck off! - One breath.
475
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,350
- Thank you. - I can hear
every word of this, by the way.
476
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,710
Shit.
477
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,310
Julian came to sit with
me because I'm tripping...
478
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,550
- .. balls.
- Is it acid?
479
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,670
She has taken LSD.
480
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,230
Laurie didn't tell me about this...
481
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,230
.. Ruth.
482
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,630
S-So that means he loved her.
483
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,830
No. No, I really don't think so.
484
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,150
I mean, we always told each
other about our flings.
485
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,670
Each other? You had flings, too?!
486
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,310
It was quite an open marriage.
487
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,990
No, it wasn't, was it?
488
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,510
- This is the acid talking. Flings?!
- Breathe.
489
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,030
I took various lovers over the years.
490
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,590
Chris Branigan.
491
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,230
Leslie Saddler.
492
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,790
Mike Dewar.
493
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,750
Hugh Clough. Was it Clough?
494
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,710
How many flings did you have, Mum?!
495
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,630
I don't know.
496
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,510
- 11.
- 11 flings?
497
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,950
Who are you, Madonna?!
498
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,590
Calm down, love.
499
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,120
I'm going to make some coffee.
500
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,510
Let me plunge the cafetiere.
501
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,230
Is she having a fling with him,
502
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:02,390
a Christian fling?!
503
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,110
Is he the 12th, like a dirty apostle?
504
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,110
That's a bit of a double
standard, Stephen.
505
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,030
I mean, how many partners
have you had over 40-odd years?
506
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,070
Three.
507
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,790
Four, if you count just rubbing.
508
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:13,870
Andrew...
509
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,560
.. could I have a quick word?
510
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,750
This is very minimalist.
511
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,750
I sold everything to
pay for my travelling.
512
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,270
- But I can't go.
- Because...?
513
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,590
I've fallen in love with you.
514
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,630
I realised all my paintings were of you,
515
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,310
even the old ladies and the Buddha.
516
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,830
So although I want to go
travelling, obviously,
517
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,470
I can't, because I'd have to leave you.
518
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,670
Come and sit down.
519
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,350
I sold my chairs to a man in Leicester.
520
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,640
On the floor.
521
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,270
You're an old soul with a
capacity to heal and to love
522
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,270
and you need to take
that gift into the world.
523
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:53,190
You have to travel and not just for
two months, but for five, maybe six.
524
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,150
How could I afford that?
525
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,910
You've got your shares in the business.
526
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,150
Yes, I could sell my
shares in the business!
527
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,350
But let's not think about that now.
528
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,910
- You've got a lot of
love to give. - Loads.
529
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:09,390
And before you think about
giving it to me or to anyone else,
530
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,670
you need to learn to love yourself.
531
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,190
And that happens on the open road
532
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,950
with your backpack strapped on and
your Gore-Tex boots full of dust.
533
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,950
It happens in a cafe in Istanbul, as
you sip thick, black Turkish coffee,
534
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,150
hit by the spice smells of
the noon-hot street stalls.
535
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,750
It happens as you make love
with some other old soul
536
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,310
on a beach at dusk in Cambodia.
537
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:35,430
It happens in Tuscany and
Mozambique and Uzbekistan...
538
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,030
.. among ancient temples and neon streets.
539
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,750
That's where you get to know yourself
540
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,680
and what you're capable of.
541
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:50,550
? You've gotta search for
the hero inside yourself
542
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,710
? Search for the secrets you hide
543
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,550
? You've gotta search for the... ?
544
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,630
Shh. ? The hero inside yourself
545
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,030
? Until you find the key to your life. ?
546
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,990
Stephen, Geoff's texted
to say the pub's on fire.
547
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,350
You're tripping, Mum!
548
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,350
You're off your tits!
549
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,910
See? It is on fire, isn't it?
550
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,110
Was it electrical?
551
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,590
We think it was a bunch of
badly extinguished cigarettes.
552
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,310
Were people smoking in the pub?!
553
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,030
- No way.
- We've got CCTV.
554
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,910
Everyone was smoking in the pub.
555
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,270
Fucking hell!
556
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,550
- Heartbreaking.
- You're insured, though?
557
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,070
Of course.
558
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,110
I-I-It renews automatically...
559
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,310
.. I think.
560
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,350
I-I haven't renewed it since
Dad died but I'm sure it does...
561
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,310
.. renew automatically.
562
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,870
Pretty sure.
563
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,950
Does it? I mean, they
all do now, don't they?
564
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,550
S-So ours will.
565
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,750
That's the standard, isn't
it? Automatic renewal.
566
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,150
Andrew...
567
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,790
.. what shall we do?
568
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,190
It'll be fine.
569
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,070
Trust me.
570
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:05,510
? Mmm, must be the season of the witch
571
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,990
? Must be the season of the witch, yeah
572
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,510
? Must be the season of the witch. ?
573
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:19,110
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