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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:12,087
Now batting...
Number 9, Danny Gannon.
3
00:00:20,797 --> 00:00:23,615
Come on, Danny. You got this.
You got this.
4
00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:29,121
Dead ball.
5
00:00:29,172 --> 00:00:31,740
Hit batter.
Take your base.
6
00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:38,363
Okay, buddy, hey, let's, um, let's, uh,
let's wipe the smile off your face, okay?
7
00:00:38,398 --> 00:00:42,167
Let's not be smiling after that.
All right, back to work.
8
00:00:42,235 --> 00:00:43,802
Sweetie, are you okay?
9
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,438
It really hurts.
10
00:00:46,472 --> 00:00:49,524
Hey, hey, hey. Don't rub it.
Don't rub it.
11
00:00:49,525 --> 00:00:51,779
Don't rub it. If you rub it,
people will think you're hurt.
12
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,079
- Dad, it does hurt.
- Hey, listen.
13
00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:56,365
Oh, no.
Don't do this, please.
14
00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:58,955
- Do not cry.
- It is okay to cry.
15
00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:01,855
No. Gannons, we inflict pain,
and then we laugh.
16
00:01:01,856 --> 00:01:03,691
What?!
What are you, a monster?
17
00:01:03,692 --> 00:01:06,249
Do me a favor. Take a little break,
will ya? Please?
18
00:01:06,298 --> 00:01:08,416
Listen to me, Danny.
Just fight through it.
19
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:11,803
Pain is temporary. Crying hurts you
the rest of your life.
20
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:13,788
Now, when I walk away,
spit.
21
00:01:33,192 --> 00:01:36,511
So, somebody has
a big birthday coming up, huh?
22
00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,063
The big 1-1.
23
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:41,021
So, I was thinking, uh,
invite a few friends over.
24
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:45,539
You know, we can hang out, watch
a movie, maybe do a little face-painting.
25
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,391
Face-painting? You know
that I'm a boy, right?
26
00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:51,393
- Well, after today, the jury's still out.
- Shut it!
27
00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:53,941
All right, well,
we could do something else.
28
00:01:53,942 --> 00:01:56,616
- How about a cupcake station?
- How about a paintball party?
29
00:01:56,651 --> 00:02:00,260
Sorry, bud. You know, I looked
into it, and it's just a little...
30
00:02:00,264 --> 00:02:02,399
100% out of our price range.
31
00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:05,486
But we could rent a movie,
have some pizza,
32
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,004
and hang out
with some friends.
33
00:02:07,038 --> 00:02:08,772
Look, mom, I've been to
four birthday parties.
34
00:02:08,806 --> 00:02:11,041
Three went go-karting,
one went to laser tag.
35
00:02:11,076 --> 00:02:14,895
I can't just have my friends
over for a movie and a pizza.
36
00:02:16,047 --> 00:02:19,368
I'm still gonna stop by the Redbox
at the market just in case.
37
00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:20,469
The poor kid.
38
00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:23,587
I mean, even though he's a crybaby,
he deserves a better party than that.
39
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,189
Why don't you just get one of
them germ-infested bounce houses
40
00:02:26,207 --> 00:02:27,808
where you get concussions,
you know?
41
00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:29,777
That's even better
than what you got planned.
42
00:02:29,811 --> 00:02:32,473
Step it up, will you?
Huh?
43
00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:36,250
Step it up.
44
00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:38,252
I'm back
45
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:45,980
Season 1, Episode 8
"No Crying in Baseball"
46
00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:49,559
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,465
What's a fake noodle called?
48
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:52,883
- What?
- An im-pasta.
49
00:02:53,918 --> 00:02:55,302
- That's... that's good.
- You get it?
50
00:02:55,353 --> 00:02:56,470
It's... it's
a pretty good pun.
51
00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:57,754
Let me know
if you guys need anything else.
52
00:02:57,772 --> 00:02:58,772
Thanks, Chelle.
53
00:02:58,807 --> 00:03:02,192
Hey, so, we are gonna have people over
for Danny's birthday.
54
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:04,478
We're gonna have pizza.
We're gonna have video games.
55
00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:05,893
We're gonna have
face-painting.
56
00:03:05,897 --> 00:03:08,365
No, we killed that.
That's not something we're doing.
57
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,491
Right. Because you hate
way-cool face-painting.
58
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:11,869
Let it go.
59
00:03:11,903 --> 00:03:14,438
Anyway, it's this Saturday,
and I know that's really late notice,
60
00:03:14,456 --> 00:03:15,739
but please tell me
you guys are free.
61
00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:18,409
What, no? This Saturday?
We can't. It's Michael's party.
62
00:03:18,443 --> 00:03:20,063
- It's your birthday, too?
- Yeah.
63
00:03:20,064 --> 00:03:22,162
- "Dancing with the Birthday Stars."
- No way.
64
00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:24,215
Did you not get
the invitation?
65
00:03:30,058 --> 00:03:31,907
Weird.
Must have gotten lost.
66
00:03:31,908 --> 00:03:33,794
Look, it's okay
if you guys can't make it.
67
00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:36,935
Um, it's not like we're having
a real party, anyway.
68
00:03:36,936 --> 00:03:40,884
Or... brilliant idea from Lulu...
Um, why don't we combine parties?
69
00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:43,600
And now that I say it, more
obvious than brilliant, but...
70
00:03:43,634 --> 00:03:45,519
Well, that would be awesome!
Mom, can we?
71
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:47,855
Oh, I don't... I don't know.
We don't want to jump on your thing.
72
00:03:47,906 --> 00:03:50,324
Oh, Terry, come on. It's me.
Jump on my thing.
73
00:03:50,358 --> 00:03:53,410
This is going to be huge.
My mom does everything big.
74
00:03:53,445 --> 00:03:54,912
Makes everything big.
75
00:03:54,946 --> 00:03:57,281
Uh, honestly,
we were gonna go small.
76
00:03:57,315 --> 00:04:00,284
- I'm on a really tight budget.
- Oh, Terry, don't be so silly.
77
00:04:00,318 --> 00:04:03,337
I've got contacts all over town...
Get us a great price.
78
00:04:03,371 --> 00:04:04,755
And we'll do it together.
It'll be fun.
79
00:04:04,789 --> 00:04:06,390
Danny, what kind of party
would you like?
80
00:04:06,424 --> 00:04:08,614
You can have
absolutely anything you want.
81
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,794
- Paintball.
- Paintball?!
82
00:04:10,828 --> 00:04:11,828
Paintball?
83
00:04:11,846 --> 00:04:14,180
- Danny, anything you want.
- Yeah, paintball.
84
00:04:14,181 --> 00:04:16,292
Oh, come on, mom.
It's gonna be so much fun.
85
00:04:16,293 --> 00:04:17,667
Okay.
86
00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:20,104
- Dancing and violence it is.
- Yes!
87
00:04:20,105 --> 00:04:22,206
It's so "West Side story."
I'm loving it.
88
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,174
Okay!
89
00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:27,244
And how much are the
balloons shaped like army tanks?
90
00:04:27,278 --> 00:04:30,415
Only $50?
Great. We'll take 10 of those.
91
00:04:30,416 --> 00:04:31,648
Or one.
92
00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:35,352
We'll take one sad, lonely balloon
shaped like an army tank.
93
00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:36,586
And a bubble machine.
94
00:04:36,604 --> 00:04:38,519
Great.
Thank you, Mr. Balloon Man.
95
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:42,150
I can't believe we are actually
planning a party together.
96
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,702
Oh, I know. It's an exciting
twist in our friendship.
97
00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:47,197
Yeah, it's like we're in The Parent Trap
and we just found out we're twins.
98
00:04:47,198 --> 00:04:49,048
Oh, yes.
A couple of Lohans, we are.
99
00:04:49,049 --> 00:04:51,817
You know, those two were great.
They really should work more.
100
00:04:51,818 --> 00:04:53,287
Hey, what's going on?
101
00:04:53,321 --> 00:04:54,788
I'm hearing a lot
of clicks over there.
102
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,724
Oh, I'm just on the paintballing website
getting a few last-minute essentials.
103
00:04:57,759 --> 00:05:00,711
You've got the laser scope
and the utility belt and...
104
00:05:00,745 --> 00:05:03,030
- Just "select all."
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Select all."
105
00:05:03,064 --> 00:05:04,865
That feels like a bit much.
106
00:05:04,916 --> 00:05:07,184
Yeah, kids don't need all that.
Well, at least Danny doesn't.
107
00:05:07,218 --> 00:05:09,219
Oh, well, my Michael
does need all that.
108
00:05:09,237 --> 00:05:11,572
He's accustomed
to a certain level of going big.
109
00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,692
Danny, I think,
feels more comfortable
110
00:05:15,727 --> 00:05:17,494
being...
Less accessorized.
111
00:05:17,495 --> 00:05:20,198
So, you know, maybe we
just do the utility belts,
112
00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:22,609
and then before going big,
we just talk to each other.
113
00:05:23,701 --> 00:05:25,335
Fine. Fine.
114
00:05:25,403 --> 00:05:27,621
Just get the belts...
And they'll look great.
115
00:05:27,622 --> 00:05:31,144
Wow. Splitting the cost has actually
made this whole thing doable.
116
00:05:31,145 --> 00:05:33,635
- What's our grand total?
- $4,000.
117
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,515
- I owe you 2 grand?
- Yes! Cheap as chips!
118
00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:40,851
You know, we should plan
all our parties together.
119
00:05:43,231 --> 00:05:44,481
Hey, look.
120
00:05:44,884 --> 00:05:48,303
I got you a... an early
birthday present just to make up
121
00:05:48,338 --> 00:05:50,339
for whatever lame thing
your mother gets you.
122
00:05:50,373 --> 00:05:52,241
And... here it is.
123
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:57,679
- A sock.
- Don't be a wise guy. It is not a sock.
124
00:05:58,143 --> 00:06:00,044
It is a redemption sock.
125
00:06:00,158 --> 00:06:02,125
There's a cue ball
in the toe of this thing.
126
00:06:02,143 --> 00:06:04,995
So one quick little move...
Forehand or backhand...
127
00:06:05,013 --> 00:06:06,730
The Gannons are not
the ones crying anymore.
128
00:06:06,764 --> 00:06:08,899
- We're back.
- And I'm in Juvie.
129
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,219
Why is this such a big deal?
Did I seriously disappoint you?
130
00:06:12,253 --> 00:06:14,371
You're my grandson...
My only grandson...
131
00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:17,650
And I care for you more than
anything else in the whole world.
132
00:06:17,805 --> 00:06:19,070
So, uh, yeah.
133
00:06:21,212 --> 00:06:23,530
You're a mess. What, did you
sleep in your pizza clothes?
134
00:06:23,564 --> 00:06:25,682
Yes.
Yes, I did, actually.
135
00:06:25,717 --> 00:06:29,256
I worked a double shift last night,
and I'm working another one today.
136
00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:32,205
Mom, I know why you're doing this,
and I really appreciate it.
137
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:34,663
Don't worry about it, buddy.
I'm happy to.
138
00:06:34,664 --> 00:06:36,064
Oh, no.
139
00:06:36,065 --> 00:06:38,950
No, no, no.
No redemption sock!
140
00:06:38,951 --> 00:06:41,919
This has spaghetti sauce.
That's the same one from when I was a kid!
141
00:06:41,954 --> 00:06:43,730
That's wrong.
That is not spaghetti sauce.
142
00:06:43,731 --> 00:06:44,955
Danny is fine.
143
00:06:44,973 --> 00:06:47,208
There will be no braining of
kids with the redemption sock.
144
00:06:47,242 --> 00:06:49,627
Look, we had an embarrassing
moment in public.
145
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:52,630
We are not fine until we get
this whole thing balanced out.
146
00:06:52,648 --> 00:06:54,551
No one cares, dad.
Let it go.
147
00:06:54,552 --> 00:06:57,007
Danny, get your stuff.
You're gonna be late for school.
148
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,223
Redemption sock II
is in your lunch bag,
149
00:07:02,257 --> 00:07:04,976
and the sequel
is just as good as the original.
150
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,461
Go get 'em, buddy.
151
00:07:07,996 --> 00:07:09,380
Go. Hey.
152
00:07:09,415 --> 00:07:11,783
Vzzt! Vzzt!
"Timber!"
153
00:07:14,119 --> 00:07:17,638
O.M.G.!
The RSVPS are rolling in!
154
00:07:17,689 --> 00:07:19,970
This is the most kids
I've ever had a party.
155
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:22,043
- I'm so jazzed.
- Heh-hey!
156
00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:26,503
How's the arm, wuss boy?
I hear you're having paintball party?
157
00:07:26,504 --> 00:07:29,353
Yeah. Yeah, we are.
And guess what...
158
00:07:29,354 --> 00:07:31,366
- You're not invited.
- Guess what, Danny.
159
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,628
Anyone can show up to a paintball
range and ruin the whole party
160
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,064
by shooting the birthday boys
until they cry.
161
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,666
- There's also going to be dancing.
- Not the time, Michael.
162
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:44,504
I can't believe that you ditched me
to join this entire team of losers!
163
00:07:44,522 --> 00:07:47,808
- What's your problem?
- A mild case of ADHD.
164
00:07:50,312 --> 00:07:52,196
We're dead.
165
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,815
What?
166
00:07:53,816 --> 00:07:56,467
Hup. Eight. Hup.
167
00:07:56,468 --> 00:07:59,086
- Change of plans, everyone.
- Hold on.
168
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,705
Party is canceled,
all right?
169
00:08:00,706 --> 00:08:02,412
David and the Pirates...
They're gonna come,
170
00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:04,258
and they're gonna kick our butts
in paintball, all right?
171
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:05,893
Emphasis on my butt.
172
00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:08,289
So, wait a minute. You're just
gonna run away and hide?
173
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:11,532
Yeah. That seems like the "I want
to make it to 12" thing to do.
174
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,467
No, see, we can just
turn this whole thing around.
175
00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:15,653
We can get rid
of that crying nonsense, right?
176
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,871
I mean, this is
your cue-ball-in-a-sock moment.
177
00:08:17,889 --> 00:08:20,345
- I just want to have a normal birthday.
- You will.
178
00:08:20,346 --> 00:08:24,391
I can teach you the basics of infantry
training, but you got to listen.
179
00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:27,202
Now, these Pirates over there...
They will show you no mercy.
180
00:08:27,236 --> 00:08:30,377
They think you're all a bunch
of wusses anyway. We'll use that.
181
00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:33,030
We will make their hubris
be their downfall, see?
182
00:08:33,031 --> 00:08:34,599
What's a hubris?
183
00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:36,200
You'll be
the first two to go.
184
00:08:36,235 --> 00:08:38,002
Yay! First!
185
00:08:39,116 --> 00:08:40,434
Hey, uh, where's Dong?
186
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:44,221
If you have to ask about Dong,
then you're already dead.
187
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:45,956
I just got a chill.
188
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:48,008
Let's do this!
189
00:08:48,059 --> 00:08:50,126
Yeah!
190
00:08:50,144 --> 00:08:51,228
Okay, then, let's go.
191
00:08:51,262 --> 00:08:52,975
Down.
192
00:08:52,976 --> 00:08:54,193
Up.
193
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,759
Down.
194
00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:56,826
Up.
195
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,429
Dong, not down and down.
Down and up.
196
00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:04,184
No, no. Those are not shillelaghs.
This is not a Scottish dance.
197
00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:05,536
Strike with it!
198
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:07,071
Crawling, crawling.
199
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,188
Crawling!
200
00:09:08,223 --> 00:09:10,424
Roll! Good.
201
00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:13,577
Push it!
202
00:09:13,628 --> 00:09:15,863
All right, crawl.
Crawl.
203
00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:17,097
Faster! Faster!
204
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,968
You want to quit, Dong?!
You want this?!
205
00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:23,804
I have no place left to go,
Mr. The Cannon.
206
00:09:32,747 --> 00:09:36,807
Hey, slim. What are you doing in my chair?
You're spoiling my perfect ass form.
207
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,286
There's not gonna be
a paintball party.
208
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:42,564
- What do you mean, no party?
- Couldn't come up with the money.
209
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:45,876
I got the kids battle-ready.
I mean, what are you talking about?
210
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:49,395
- I-I-I trained them how to kill today.
- I feel horrible.
211
00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:51,864
I am a complete failure
as a parent.
212
00:09:51,865 --> 00:09:53,605
Uh, no argument there.
213
00:09:54,609 --> 00:09:56,293
W-what kind of money
we talking about?
214
00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:59,246
Uh, like, uh, ransom money,
like, for Alec Baldwin
215
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,830
or for Stephen Baldwin?
216
00:10:00,848 --> 00:10:03,717
I need $2,000,
and I have $684.
217
00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:06,386
Oh. And 73 cents.
218
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:07,704
People suck at tipping.
219
00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:11,007
So, $1,315.27, right?
220
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,823
- That's impressive.
- Wait right there.
221
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:17,117
___
222
00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:20,260
This ought to cover it.
223
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,502
Where did you get that?
224
00:10:22,503 --> 00:10:24,688
Well, sometimes
I bury cash in the yard...
225
00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:27,007
- So I know where it is.
- Dad...
226
00:10:27,008 --> 00:10:31,127
- Thank you. I-I-I'll pay you back.
- No, no, no. This is not a loan.
227
00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:33,346
I think Danny should have
a real nice birthday party,
228
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:34,681
you know,
with his friends...
229
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:36,399
Just like the kind
I used to give you.
230
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,552
The closest you ever came
to celebrating my birthday
231
00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:40,554
was telling me
"Happy Birthday"
232
00:10:40,588 --> 00:10:43,056
nine months
from my actual birthday.
233
00:10:43,107 --> 00:10:44,658
It was a surprise.
234
00:10:44,692 --> 00:10:46,843
Anyway, uh,
he's a good kid.
235
00:10:46,878 --> 00:10:49,746
And, by the way,
a very Happy Birthday to you.
236
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,866
- Six months away.
- Six? We're getting closer.
237
00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:58,478
If you insist
on having ice sculptures,
238
00:10:58,479 --> 00:11:00,146
then you will need
a refrigerated table.
239
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:03,262
- Oh, I absolutely insist, lieutenant.
- Oh. What's all this?
240
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,397
Oh, we got party plans
on top of party plans.
241
00:11:05,405 --> 00:11:08,415
Oh, we're just going over some last-minute
details for the party, Terry.
242
00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:10,100
Please continue,
lieutenant Otis.
243
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:12,535
- Talk about the pyrotechnic show.
- Thank you, corporal.
244
00:11:12,569 --> 00:11:15,811
Luckily for you, Lulu upgraded your
party to the shock-and-awe package.
245
00:11:15,823 --> 00:11:17,732
- It'll melt your face off.
- Bang!
246
00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:18,983
Oh. No. No.
247
00:11:18,984 --> 00:11:22,130
No shock. No awe.
And no face-melting.
248
00:11:22,131 --> 00:11:23,363
You know what...
Why don't you guys
249
00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:25,381
figure out what you want to do,
and... and then give me a call?
250
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:28,385
- I got some stuff to do, so...
- Um, Lulu, what, uh...
251
00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:30,320
What are you doing here?
252
00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:32,482
Well, I just added
a few extras, darling,
253
00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:35,976
and I've only done it because the party
was starting to feel a little... sad.
254
00:11:35,977 --> 00:11:38,845
Oh. Well, we agreed to keep it sad.
I mean... simple.
255
00:11:38,846 --> 00:11:41,414
Okay, this isn't
prison camp for kids, Terry.
256
00:11:41,449 --> 00:11:43,531
It's a party.
It needs to be special.
257
00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:45,391
Cupcakes are special...
To an 11-year-old.
258
00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:47,840
That's because
they haven't tried foie gras.
259
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,163
Listen, stop worrying about it,
Terry. It'll give you wrinkles.
260
00:11:50,164 --> 00:11:53,733
It's on me. I understand...
You're working within a... budget.
261
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:56,519
Yeah, but that's not the point.
We agreed to be partners, you know?
262
00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:58,638
W-we... you're supposed to
run all this stuff by me.
263
00:11:58,672 --> 00:12:01,474
- I just did.
- Oh. Lulu. Wow.
264
00:12:01,508 --> 00:12:02,825
You're being
really thoughtless.
265
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,244
We agreed
to talk before going big.
266
00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:07,877
I killed myself to make this money.
My dad even chipped in.
267
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:09,966
And now you're just
throwing your money in my face.
268
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,871
Like, how is this
gonna look to Danny?
269
00:12:11,872 --> 00:12:14,372
That you're an awesome mother
and not some woman
270
00:12:14,373 --> 00:12:16,791
who works in a pizza place
and can't throw a party.
271
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:20,396
Listen, Terry,
you're really good at some things, like...
272
00:12:20,594 --> 00:12:23,112
Ponytails...
And wearing shorts.
273
00:12:23,147 --> 00:12:26,282
Spitting... you're great at that.
I-I plan parties.
274
00:12:26,316 --> 00:12:29,435
And frankly, working with you,
it's been very limiting for me.
275
00:12:29,453 --> 00:12:31,204
Oh. Well, I don't think
this is working out.
276
00:12:31,238 --> 00:12:32,872
So I think it would be best
if we had...
277
00:12:32,906 --> 00:12:34,240
Well, we should have
separate parties!
278
00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:35,958
- I said it first! I dumped you!
- No!
279
00:12:35,993 --> 00:12:38,414
That is exactly what I was gonna say,
but you always talk first!
280
00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:40,616
Terry, please, just get out
of my gorgeous house!
281
00:12:40,617 --> 00:12:44,011
Oh, who does a-a white rug
with... with... white walls?!
282
00:12:44,012 --> 00:12:46,229
It's like... it's like
super-cheesy heaven!
283
00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:50,101
It's taste, Terry!
Taste!
284
00:12:52,082 --> 00:12:53,694
Breathe through it,
darling.
285
00:12:57,455 --> 00:12:58,655
Hey.
286
00:12:59,037 --> 00:13:02,256
Your party's starting to creep
over to my side again.
287
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:05,325
Oh!
Oh, I'm so sorry, Terry.
288
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,278
I didn't realize that that
sad little table was a party.
289
00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:11,058
- Class.
- Out the arse, darling.
290
00:13:17,983 --> 00:13:21,969
Listen, guys, what we got here today
is an opportunity for greatness.
291
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:24,839
Now, we've been training
real hard for a whole day.
292
00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:26,490
You guys were born for...
293
00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:29,783
Well, you know,
maybe not this, but...
294
00:13:29,784 --> 00:13:32,120
Well, obviously not baseball,
but...
295
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:33,583
You were born.
296
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:36,584
If we have to fight those guys,
we're gonna need a better pep talk.
297
00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:45,275
Hey, here they are.
Come on. Game faces, guys.
298
00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:48,228
Dudley, not "I got to poop"
face... game face.
299
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:50,679
Hey, Cannon. What are you
and the Angles doing here?
300
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:52,558
- You really don't know?
- I don't know.
301
00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:54,882
David's here playing paintball.
I just came here to pay for it.
302
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,820
Whoa!
Look at this, man!
303
00:13:57,821 --> 00:14:00,681
- These things are awesome.
- Be careful. It's loaded.
304
00:14:00,682 --> 00:14:03,228
Oh, okay, Cannon. You think
I don't know my way around...
305
00:14:05,983 --> 00:14:07,466
Poof!
That did not sting.
306
00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:10,352
- Dad! I need your credit card!
- Okay.
307
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:14,090
- Let it out, Nancy.
- Let what out... Nancy?
308
00:14:14,124 --> 00:14:16,025
Pardon me.
309
00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:18,838
Okay, everybody, listen.
310
00:14:18,873 --> 00:14:21,407
As a special "Dancing with the Stars"
surprise,
311
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:24,777
Maria and Juan here are going to
teach us all how to merengue.
312
00:14:32,253 --> 00:14:33,486
Pizza's here!
313
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:38,525
- Pizza time!
- Whoo! Pizza!
314
00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:45,882
Looks like prison-camp food
is owning merengue dancers.
315
00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:49,452
Yes. Clearly. You win.
316
00:14:49,487 --> 00:14:50,754
You beat me.
317
00:14:50,788 --> 00:14:52,480
The Revolutionary War
all over again.
318
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:55,408
Why did you come here?
You have money.
319
00:14:55,426 --> 00:14:57,444
You could have moved your party
anywhere in town...
320
00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:59,746
Like a dance studio
or a dance boat...
321
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:00,880
Or a dance island.
322
00:15:00,915 --> 00:15:03,316
Yes, I-I could have,
but honestly,
323
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,896
I kept the party here because
this is where the kids are.
324
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,567
Every year, no matter
how many children we've invited,
325
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:13,716
my Michael is the only one under 40
who's actually there, Terry.
326
00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,451
- Yeah.
- Lulu.
327
00:15:15,452 --> 00:15:19,736
Listen, I really didn't mean to belittle
you with my money, Terry. I, um...
328
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,612
I just wanted the boys' party
to be extra-special.
329
00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:23,914
But I get it.
330
00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:25,966
It doesn't matter to Michael
how much fuss I make.
331
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,718
He just... just wants
his friends there.
332
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,866
And I acted like a complete jerk
because of my lack of money.
333
00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:34,257
I see now a kid needs
a real birthday sometimes.
334
00:15:35,276 --> 00:15:37,118
Danny's just gone without
for so long,
335
00:15:37,119 --> 00:15:39,571
I just assumed he'd be okay
with something small.
336
00:15:40,924 --> 00:15:42,383
I'm sorry, Lulu.
337
00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:44,301
So am I.
338
00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,086
Did we just have
our first fight?
339
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,905
Oh! Oh, my gosh.
Yes, I think we did.
340
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,398
And there's not
a scratch on either of us.
341
00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:53,009
I think that means
we're real friends.
342
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:54,294
I'd say we're besties.
343
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,879
I'd say you better give me
a hug, richie bitch.
344
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,031
Bring it in!
345
00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:02,986
Angles! Let's take care of
business out there, all right?
346
00:16:03,021 --> 00:16:05,639
Remember...
Ammo discipline, okay?
347
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,090
Let's go!
348
00:16:11,312 --> 00:16:12,512
Get the Angles!
349
00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,365
Get the Angles!
350
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:16,933
I can see you!
I see you!
351
00:16:16,967 --> 00:16:19,653
Mano a mano!
I'm coming for you!
352
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,171
Get the Angles!
Get the Angles!
353
00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:25,509
Get the Angles!
354
00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:27,789
Go!
355
00:16:28,379 --> 00:16:30,347
I see you, Pirate.
356
00:16:30,348 --> 00:16:31,906
You can't hide.
357
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:35,552
- Come out wherever you are.
- Hey, Angle!
358
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:39,990
Dang it!
359
00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:44,795
Hey, Pirates!
Check out these moves!
360
00:16:47,598 --> 00:16:49,332
Angles!
361
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,567
Angles!
362
00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:55,113
One, two, three!
363
00:16:55,137 --> 00:16:56,857
Cover me, everyone!
364
00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:59,543
- Die, tubby!
- Ow! They got me!
365
00:16:59,577 --> 00:17:01,884
Dudley is down!
We're coming for you, Dudley!
366
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,898
Hit the ground, Angel!
367
00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:07,384
- Dudley, help me roll you over.
- Wait... what?!
368
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:11,187
- I'm not a human shield!
- Where are they?
369
00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:13,536
Are you blind?!
They're everywhere!
370
00:17:16,794 --> 00:17:18,228
I told you!
371
00:17:20,314 --> 00:17:21,965
What the heck's the matter
with you guys?
372
00:17:21,983 --> 00:17:24,885
I mean, I taught you everything I know.
You're all dead.
373
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,937
You know, if this was real war,
you'd all be speaking German.
374
00:17:26,971 --> 00:17:28,371
Gesundheit.
375
00:17:28,405 --> 00:17:31,496
It's crazy out there, man.
They're storming our headquarters.
376
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,143
The gingers
have gone rogue.
377
00:17:33,161 --> 00:17:35,395
I saw them shooting
at an ice-cream truck.
378
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,748
- Cannon. Danny's hurt.
- Where is he?
379
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,837
Hey. Kid.
You all right?
380
00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:46,122
I lost my gun,
and I twisted my ankle.
381
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,992
- I can't walk.
- I hear you crying, Gannon.
382
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,161
I'm gonna put you
out of your misery!
383
00:17:51,179 --> 00:17:55,048
Cannon, I'm not as tough as you.
Okay? That's all there is to it.
384
00:17:55,082 --> 00:17:56,833
I'm sorry
I disappointed you.
385
00:17:56,851 --> 00:17:58,852
The hell with anything
I ever said, okay?
386
00:17:58,886 --> 00:18:00,954
You're my favorite kid
in the whole world.
387
00:18:00,988 --> 00:18:02,689
And you're always
with me, okay?
388
00:18:02,723 --> 00:18:04,457
Thanks, Cannon.
389
00:18:04,492 --> 00:18:06,810
- Look, one more thing.
- What?
390
00:18:06,844 --> 00:18:08,411
How close are they?
391
00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:11,681
You playing possum?
392
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,083
I'm using their hubris.
393
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,836
I get it...
Your redemption sock, right?
394
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,804
Okay, listen,
there's two to your left
395
00:18:17,839 --> 00:18:20,040
and two to your right,
a stone's throw away.
396
00:18:20,091 --> 00:18:21,057
All right?
397
00:18:21,092 --> 00:18:23,226
Go give 'em hell,
buddy.
398
00:18:23,244 --> 00:18:24,744
Happy Birthday to me!
399
00:19:16,962 --> 00:19:19,831
- You all right?
- Yeah.
400
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:26,356
Good game.
401
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,547
That's a hell of a kid.
402
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:45,809
That's what you're gonna get trying
to be a tough guy all the time, David.
403
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,596
Come here.
404
00:19:51,599 --> 00:19:54,067
I'm sorry.
405
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:56,436
Let's go home.
406
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,904
It's okay.
407
00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:05,228
It'll be okay, son.
408
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,863
Back to work.
409
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:10,324
No touching a cupcake
until I say so.
410
00:20:10,325 --> 00:20:12,387
Now, which brave soldier
deserves a cupcake?
411
00:20:12,388 --> 00:20:13,702
I do! I do!
412
00:20:13,753 --> 00:20:16,121
- I can't hear you!
- Me! I do! I do! Me!
413
00:20:16,155 --> 00:20:19,153
- Off you go.
- Yeah! Whoo!
414
00:20:19,244 --> 00:20:20,494
This is so fun.
415
00:20:20,528 --> 00:20:22,963
All of the kids told me
this was the best party ever.
416
00:20:22,998 --> 00:20:24,915
Thanks, mom.
417
00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:26,967
Yeah,
I really appreciate it.
418
00:20:28,086 --> 00:20:29,637
Come on, Danny.
419
00:20:29,671 --> 00:20:32,363
- Ahh. Well, that made it all worth it.
- It is incredible.
420
00:20:32,386 --> 00:20:35,338
Oh, boys! Please,
don't forget your party favors!
421
00:20:35,389 --> 00:20:36,959
Lulu, what did you do?
422
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,599
Oh, just some truffles, face cream,
and some sterling-silver dog tags.
423
00:20:40,645 --> 00:20:41,761
They can go back.
424
00:20:41,795 --> 00:20:44,130
No, no, no. No.
Let them have them.
425
00:20:44,148 --> 00:20:46,349
But you're not
getting a dime out of me.
426
00:20:48,019 --> 00:20:49,219
Cheap.
427
00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:53,430
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