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1
00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:05,999
(gasp) Let me see your shoes.
Ohhh, there you go, you got it.
2
00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:08,467
Now, you just need to learn how
to be twice as good at everything
3
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:11,136
for half the pay, and you
are on your way to womanhood.
4
00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:14,840
Oh, here you are.
5
00:00:14,874 --> 00:00:17,014
Wow! You guys look great.
6
00:00:17,114 --> 00:00:19,049
Oh, crap. Am I supposed
to look great, too?
7
00:00:19,083 --> 00:00:21,251
I can be ready for whatever I'm
not ready for in two minutes.
8
00:00:21,285 --> 00:00:24,120
Danny, Danny! This pregnant
girl is not going anywhere.
9
00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:27,257
We were just playing dress-up
because this might be my last month
10
00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:29,894
to wear any of my clothes
without them exploding.
11
00:00:29,994 --> 00:00:31,828
Sweetie, you look great.
12
00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:34,631
Remember, I fell in love
with you when you were chunky.
13
00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:36,196
Hon, I'm gonna fall out of love with
14
00:00:36,222 --> 00:00:37,793
you if you ever call me chunky again.
15
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,370
(fabric ripping)
16
00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:45,910
I don't know how... but this can
be my fault if you want it to be.
17
00:00:45,944 --> 00:00:48,345
(crying) Thanks. I'd
like that very much.
18
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:53,617
(theme music playing)
19
00:00:53,652 --> 00:00:56,620
It's amazing how the unexpected
20
00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:59,635
Can take your life
and change direction
21
00:00:59,735 --> 00:01:03,592
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta - - www.addic7ed.com -
22
00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:05,830
...And that's when Brad and I realized,
23
00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:08,532
"harder" is a horrible safe word.
24
00:01:13,805 --> 00:01:16,073
God, I miss drinking coffee alone.
25
00:01:17,976 --> 00:01:19,643
Oh, my God, you guys, guess what?
26
00:01:19,678 --> 00:01:20,811
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
27
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,213
I don't care.
28
00:01:22,247 --> 00:01:24,415
Well, I don't care that you don't care,
29
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:26,065
because I have just been nominated
30
00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:27,899
for a New York Entertainment Award!
31
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:28,967
Oh, yeah!
32
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,936
Oh-hoho-ho!
33
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:34,439
- Ay, ay, okay, okay...
- Oh ah, uh-uh, oh, what...
34
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:36,341
Get off, this is my happy dance!
35
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,143
Mine!
36
00:01:38,177 --> 00:01:40,114
Did you get nominated
for watching television?
37
00:01:40,214 --> 00:01:42,515
'Cause that's all you've
done for the last month.
38
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,250
No, I got nominated
39
00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:45,652
for the critically acclaimed
40
00:01:45,686 --> 00:01:46,820
Mother's Day special
41
00:01:46,854 --> 00:01:48,788
I produced for The Mary Hart Show,
42
00:01:48,823 --> 00:01:50,223
right before that ungrateful wig
43
00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:52,892
in spandex fired me.
44
00:01:52,927 --> 00:01:54,361
Who's laughin' now?
45
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,895
Probably still her,
46
00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:57,063
since she's rich and powerful,
47
00:01:57,098 --> 00:01:59,567
and you've had macaroni
for three straight meals.
48
00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:00,867
Yeah, yeah-yeah... yeah,
49
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,502
whatever, man, she could
laugh all she wants,
50
00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,703
because once the news gets out
51
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:04,971
that I was nominated,
52
00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:07,273
the job offers, they're
just gonna start flyin' in.
53
00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:09,342
People will literally be all over me.
54
00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:12,145
Oh, my God, Tucker, we
are gonna have so much fun!
55
00:02:12,179 --> 00:02:14,314
First of all, you are not invited,
56
00:02:14,348 --> 00:02:16,850
and second of all, I think
I just lost my gum in there.
57
00:02:16,884 --> 00:02:18,485
What, again?
58
00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:20,020
Hey, here's a little thought-ski...
59
00:02:20,054 --> 00:02:21,688
since you're nominated
for a Mother's Day special,
60
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:23,890
why don't you invite your mom?
61
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:26,226
My mom?
62
00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:29,529
If she had any human parts
that registered emotion,
63
00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:31,731
I'd say yes, but I
pretty much struck out
64
00:02:31,766 --> 00:02:33,733
in the warm and loving
parents department.
65
00:02:33,768 --> 00:02:37,070
Oh. Well not everybody
can be as lucky as Ben.
66
00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:40,607
You never know, man.
67
00:02:40,641 --> 00:02:42,809
This is important.
It's your first award.
68
00:02:42,843 --> 00:02:45,011
I guess I can call her.
69
00:02:45,046 --> 00:02:46,112
Hey, but can I borrow your phone,
70
00:02:46,147 --> 00:02:48,982
'cause she doesn't pick up when I call.
71
00:02:49,016 --> 00:02:51,117
Thanks, man.
72
00:02:51,152 --> 00:02:54,187
Oh! "Why don't you call your mom?"
73
00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:56,856
Why don't you invite
your mouth to shut up?
74
00:02:58,025 --> 00:02:59,789
God, I miss drinking coffee alone.
75
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,997
How did this happen?
76
00:03:04,032 --> 00:03:07,367
Well... I think it started
with you takin' off my shirt,
77
00:03:07,402 --> 00:03:09,036
and then I took off your shirt...
78
00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:10,837
No...
79
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:15,275
this. I mean, how... how
am I this big already?
80
00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:18,064
Honey, you look adorable,
you finally popped.
81
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,331
Huh, yeah, I popped all
right, you wanna know why?
82
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,427
Because a giant impregnated me.
83
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,607
A giant who I love very much.
84
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,845
But everyone at work is
gonna know that I'm pregnant.
85
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,012
You haven't told them yet?
86
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,447
Are you ashamed of our baby?
87
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,149
Shouldn't you see it first?
88
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,552
No, well, no one at work
knows, because if they find out,
89
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,354
they'll never make me junior partner.
90
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,256
You know, they won't
see a brilliant lawyer,
91
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,458
they'll see a flabby
bundle of maternity leave.
92
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,803
I was really hoping they
would've made a decision by now.
93
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:49,896
Well, then you need to make them decide.
94
00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:51,960
Go in there and refuse to
take no for an answer...
95
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,468
like I do.
96
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,184
For the last time, we are
not naming our kid Maverick.
97
00:03:58,540 --> 00:03:59,908
But you know what, you're right.
You're right. (elevator dings)
98
00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,242
I'm going to make it happen.
99
00:04:01,276 --> 00:04:02,777
Thank you.
100
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,967
Oh, uh, don't forget your lunch.
101
00:04:05,001 --> 00:04:07,219
No salsa, carrots or cole slaw involved.
102
00:04:07,319 --> 00:04:09,253
I got a pregnancy barf list goin'.
103
00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:13,523
Oh, my God... oh God, you might
wanna add tuna to that list!
104
00:04:13,892 --> 00:04:16,060
- This could be my fault, too.
- It is!
105
00:04:19,064 --> 00:04:19,886
No, I... I get it, Mom.
106
00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:22,888
Yeah. Y... You're a doctor, you're busy.
107
00:04:23,957 --> 00:04:26,925
Yes, we can count this
as my birthday call.
108
00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,530
Seriously, what kind
of mother doesn't wanna
109
00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,239
be part of one of their
son's proudest moments?
110
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,807
Ucch! Let it go! Okay?
111
00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:39,077
Nobody thought you were gonna
graduate, so I made plans.
112
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:42,246
Not me, Tucker!
113
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,735
And you were at my graduation.
114
00:04:43,835 --> 00:04:46,036
I think you might have
a drinking problem.
115
00:04:48,606 --> 00:04:50,474
Okay, Mom. Yeah, no, it's... it's fine.
116
00:04:50,508 --> 00:04:51,875
I'll talk to you later.
117
00:04:54,412 --> 00:04:56,180
Hey, Tuck. How'd it go?
118
00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,115
Why do I ever listen to you?
119
00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:00,084
That good, huh?
120
00:05:00,118 --> 00:05:01,852
No, Ben, not good.
121
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,287
She's not coming.
122
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:08,092
- This is all my fault.
- Yeah, we all got that.
123
00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:10,962
I just feel so bad for him.
124
00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:12,797
Me, too.
125
00:05:12,831 --> 00:05:16,500
Ahh... that's what this feeling is.
126
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:17,935
Compassion.
127
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,938
Mm, I don't like it!
128
00:05:22,074 --> 00:05:23,374
I need a drink.
129
00:05:26,746 --> 00:05:32,384
And I wanna see you all at the
sexual harassment seminar on Monday.
130
00:05:32,418 --> 00:05:34,185
Especially you, Janice.
131
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,155
Dismissed.
132
00:05:39,191 --> 00:05:42,283
Whoa, whoa, Perrin. What are you
on, some kinda doughnut cleanse?
133
00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:44,416
No. I'm just...
134
00:05:44,442 --> 00:05:46,824
Calm down, I'm not callin'
you fat, I'm just suggesting
135
00:05:46,924 --> 00:05:48,925
you slow it down a bit,
'cause if you choke,
136
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,363
HR has forbidden me from
administering the Heimlich.
137
00:05:52,463 --> 00:05:55,065
I still think shirts
off is more effective.
138
00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:59,603
Right, um... actually,
I wanted to talk to you
139
00:05:59,637 --> 00:06:01,671
about announcing the new junior partner?
140
00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,740
Those of us in the running
have been jumping through hoops
141
00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:05,431
for months, and I think
we deserve to know.
142
00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:08,345
Wow, feisty pants, you
wanna re-aim that angry gun?
143
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,513
Huh?
144
00:06:11,082 --> 00:06:13,250
But you do have a point.
145
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,819
- Thank you.
- So here's what we're gonna do.
146
00:06:14,853 --> 00:06:16,787
I'm gonna have everyone
stay late tomorrow,
147
00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:19,650
so you can present the closing
arguments to the McDougal case,
148
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,551
and if we're suitably impressed,
149
00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:24,587
well, I think we'll be
able to make a decision.
150
00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:27,657
Uh, wow! Uh, tomorrow,
as in the day after today?
151
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,325
I'm sorry, you said the MacDonald case?
152
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:30,940
Mc-Dou-gal.
153
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:33,797
You are prepared, aren't you, counselor?
154
00:06:33,831 --> 00:06:36,933
Oh... Oh, so prepared, I mean, I
could do it right now, if you wanted.
155
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,564
But let's not, because you look busy.
156
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,400
So, uh, tomorrow's
fine. Or... next week?
157
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:43,902
Whichever.
158
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,642
Hi! Tucker Dobbs.
159
00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:52,577
Probably takin' home
an award tomorrow night.
160
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,565
(laughs)
161
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,447
Hey... Hey, Frank Bostwick, right?
162
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,715
Did I just hear you were in the market
163
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,161
for a hot young producer,
perfect, I'll call Monday!
164
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:03,822
Tucker Dobbs? I've heard some
very impressive things about you.
165
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:08,761
Really? Impressive enough
to hire me? (laughs)
166
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,934
I'm not desperate, I'm just asking.
167
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,400
Well, all I can say is,
your mother is hysterical.
168
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,769
My what?
169
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,937
Hello, son.
170
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,472
What the hell are you doing here?
171
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:23,409
I told you, you are not my plus one,
y... you're not even my minus one.
172
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,409
Ben felt bad about your
mother not loving you enough
173
00:07:25,509 --> 00:07:27,911
to show up, so here I am.
174
00:07:27,945 --> 00:07:30,680
Not loving you enough,
but... showing up.
175
00:07:30,714 --> 00:07:33,249
Okay. (chuckles) Right,
right. Well, I suggest
176
00:07:33,284 --> 00:07:35,831
you finish filling up on shrimp
and get the hell outta here.
177
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:38,065
Seriously, I can see them in your purse.
178
00:07:38,099 --> 00:07:40,100
Is that any way to treat
the woman who just talked up
179
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:42,703
her talented, driven, bi-racial son,
180
00:07:42,737 --> 00:07:44,947
and got him three job interviews?
181
00:07:47,109 --> 00:07:49,210
Hey, you look important,
have you met my mom?
182
00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:50,962
Oh, hey...
183
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,361
Dr. Dobbs! I'm so
happy you could make it.
184
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,443
Tucker is gonna be so surprised.
185
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,773
So, I bet you're pretty
proud of your son.
186
00:08:04,807 --> 00:08:06,441
Oh, of course I am.
187
00:08:06,475 --> 00:08:09,311
Makutawatah will be a
brilliant doctor one day.
188
00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:12,914
And to think, he only cost me $29
a month and a couple of stamps.
189
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:14,750
I meant Tucker.
190
00:08:14,784 --> 00:08:17,653
Oh, Tucker could never be a doctor.
191
00:08:17,687 --> 00:08:20,989
- (both laughing)
- Well, we certainly pulled that off,
192
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,644
didn't we... son?
193
00:08:22,826 --> 00:08:24,093
Well, the awards are tomorrow night,
194
00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,829
so be sure to pull
it off again... "Mom"!
195
00:08:26,863 --> 00:08:30,933
- You're grounded!
- Not again, Ma! (both laughing)
196
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,059
You know, I'm kinda sorry
your mom didn't come.
197
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,359
I'd like to meet her someday.
198
00:08:34,394 --> 00:08:36,862
You slept with my dad and
were named in their divorce.
199
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:39,431
And that's why I said, "kinda sorry."
200
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:40,833
Okay.
201
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:44,303
Thanks for coming, that was
super fun, I'm really tired, bye!
202
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:49,541
Why do so many of my dates end this way?
203
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:53,779
Mmm.
204
00:08:55,015 --> 00:08:58,884
Mom! Wha... What a surprise!
205
00:08:58,919 --> 00:08:59,526
Oh, my God!
206
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,428
Oh... okay, I'd like to be done now.
207
00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:05,264
Okay. Um... what are you doing here?
208
00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:06,999
Guilty!
209
00:09:07,034 --> 00:09:08,834
Well, after we spoke, Benjamin called
210
00:09:08,869 --> 00:09:09,371
and explained to me
211
00:09:09,471 --> 00:09:11,305
how important this
award thing is to you.
212
00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:13,541
You didn't get that
from my call when I said
213
00:09:13,575 --> 00:09:15,643
how important this award thing is to me?
214
00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:19,680
Well, you think everything is important.
215
00:09:19,714 --> 00:09:21,315
Lord knows I've left the operating room
216
00:09:21,349 --> 00:09:24,685
for a couple of backyard plays that
turned out to be not as critical
217
00:09:24,719 --> 00:09:26,220
as my patients.
218
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:30,057
Ben, can I talk to you for a minute?
219
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:32,426
Mom, just, uh... m...
make yourself comfortable.
220
00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:34,328
Oh, I haven't been
comfortable in 26 years.
221
00:09:35,397 --> 00:09:37,098
Hey, aren't you 26?
222
00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:41,602
Hey, man, no need to get all mushy.
223
00:09:41,637 --> 00:09:43,171
A simple "thank you" is fine.
224
00:09:43,205 --> 00:09:44,639
You're right, this
really calls for a hug.
225
00:09:44,673 --> 00:09:46,175
Get off of me!
226
00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:48,843
Why would you send your
mom to be my pretend mom,
227
00:09:48,878 --> 00:09:51,066
while you call my mom to
come and be my real mom?
228
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,200
Wait! Did my mom show
up at the cocktail party?
229
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:55,269
That was not the plan!
230
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,937
Well, let's just hope
she didn't talk to anyone.
231
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,939
She talked to everyone!
232
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,713
The whole world thinks she's my mom.
233
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:04,111
I have six interviews and
a bachelor party to go to.
234
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,847
But your mom's gonna be crushed
if she doesn't get to go now.
235
00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:09,317
Yeah. That's kinda why I'm so pissed!
236
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:12,486
Oh... yeah, I was wondering.
237
00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,194
Look, man, I know you don't have
the best relationship with your mom,
238
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:18,893
and I envy you for that. But
this could be the fresh start.
239
00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:20,019
What am I supposed to do?
240
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:21,443
I don't think you have a choice.
241
00:10:21,543 --> 00:10:22,610
You have to uninvite her.
242
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:26,261
Me? Wh-Why do I have to
do it? This is your fault.
243
00:10:26,514 --> 00:10:28,482
Is it?
244
00:10:28,516 --> 00:10:29,395
Yeah.
245
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:30,862
Are you sure?
246
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,864
Uh-huh.
247
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,298
I don't know...
248
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:40,205
And so, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury... (yawns)
249
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:46,845
Um... to ignore the facts
is to, um... is to...
250
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,573
(snoring)
251
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,116
Poor thing, she's exhausted. She
didn't sleep at all last night.
252
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,704
She's goin' down!
253
00:10:58,441 --> 00:10:59,630
Think I should wake her up?
254
00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:01,768
If you wake her up,
I'll put you to sleep.
255
00:11:03,846 --> 00:11:05,280
This is really important for her.
256
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:08,083
Yeah, well, so was going to
that awards show with Tucker.
257
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,039
But you don't see me
plotting my revenge.
258
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:12,321
You don't, do you?
259
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:14,223
'Cause I want it to
seem like an accident.
260
00:11:16,025 --> 00:11:18,660
It's McDougal, not
MacDonald, stupid, stupid.
261
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:20,797
(snoring)
262
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,398
She's so beautiful when she sleeps.
263
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:26,088
Is it wrong that all I wanna do is draw
264
00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:28,128
a mustache on her and post it online?
265
00:11:29,339 --> 00:11:30,372
Mom!
266
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,568
- Okay, maybe just one picture.
- Okay!
267
00:11:36,547 --> 00:11:39,015
So, what'd you think of Uncle
Tucker's Mother's Day special?
268
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:42,518
- Eh.
- Took the "eh" right outta my mouth.
269
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:45,489
Finally, a suit named for
the guy who's wearin' it.
270
00:11:45,589 --> 00:11:47,657
The "tux"! (laughs)
271
00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:48,825
What do you think, Emma?
272
00:11:48,859 --> 00:11:50,960
Handsome.
273
00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:53,486
And I agree! I should be
takin' you to the awards
274
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:54,788
instead of your grandma.
275
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,055
Emma's grandma? My mom?
276
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:58,991
You're taking my mom?
Don't you mean your mom?
277
00:11:59,025 --> 00:12:01,627
No, your mom, like we planned.
278
00:12:01,661 --> 00:12:05,206
No! I uninvited my mom so
you could take your mom.
279
00:12:05,306 --> 00:12:06,539
Like we planned!
280
00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:10,644
No! I uninvited my mom so
that I could take your mom...
281
00:12:10,678 --> 00:12:11,778
like we planned!
282
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,347
- I didn't plan that!
- That's pretty obvious now!
283
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:19,486
- Should I stay out of it?
- Yes.
284
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,317
- Will I stay out of it?
- No.
285
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,785
Oh, you know me so well.
286
00:12:29,158 --> 00:12:31,121
You know, Tucker, the way your
mother's been singing your praises,
287
00:12:31,221 --> 00:12:32,588
you might just have
to pay her 10 percent.
288
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:34,022
(all laughing)
289
00:12:35,725 --> 00:12:39,561
- Never happening, no.
- Oh, we'll see.
290
00:12:39,596 --> 00:12:41,096
I need a drink.
291
00:12:42,999 --> 00:12:46,535
So... you look like you
have an expense account.
292
00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:47,897
How liberal can you get with that thing?
293
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:51,373
A vodka tonic, hold the tonic.
294
00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:54,472
Just like your father used to
drink before he would get Frisky.
295
00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:55,585
Mom?
296
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:57,880
Why he had to have a drink
before he brought the cat in,
297
00:12:57,914 --> 00:12:59,014
I'll never know.
298
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,860
I can't believe you
brought my mother here.
299
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,184
Well, I'm sorry. How
was I supposed to know
300
00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:07,718
you were gonna reinvite my mom?
301
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,821
The same way I was supposed to know
you would stay out of my business.
302
00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:13,324
Well, a better friend would
know I have no self-control.
303
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:15,359
What do we do now?
304
00:13:15,393 --> 00:13:16,994
Oh... Oh, I'll tell you
what you're gonna do.
305
00:13:17,028 --> 00:13:18,729
You're gonna go keep my mom occupied.
306
00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,041
Dude, she's an attractive
woman, but I d...
307
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,232
By talking to her!
308
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:24,326
Ohh, yeah, okay, I can do that, too.
309
00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,789
Look, I told her that because
her visit was a "surprise,"
310
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,357
there wasn't enough time to
get her a ticket at my table.
311
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:32,260
So, the two of you, you're just
gonna sit in the back together,
312
00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:34,855
and then I'll slip out with her
afterwards and take her to dinner.
313
00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:38,091
I like it, I like it, but
do you have another plan
314
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,859
where I'm not stuck with
the my mom at the end?
315
00:13:39,893 --> 00:13:41,494
Oh, no. Incoming mom! Incoming mom!
316
00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:43,129
- Mine or yours?
- Both! Go! Go!
317
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:47,300
All right, are we all ready to do this?
318
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:51,671
I want everyone to give Ms. Perrin
here their undivided attention.
319
00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:58,006
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, before
320
00:13:58,032 --> 00:14:00,190
you sits not just an innocent man,
321
00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:03,139
but a man willfully and wrongly accused.
322
00:14:03,239 --> 00:14:06,408
We have shown... uh...
uh... ho... Is that tuna?
323
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:08,710
Wow. Way to lose focus.
324
00:14:10,046 --> 00:14:14,049
Sorry. We have shown that the
defendant could not have possibly...
325
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,348
Are... Are you gonna eat that right now?
326
00:14:15,518 --> 00:14:17,114
Uh, Perrin, if you're gonna be working
327
00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,820
the sandwich into your argument...
328
00:14:18,855 --> 00:14:20,322
bad idea.
329
00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:23,626
Again, sorry.
330
00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:27,296
Uh... we have shown that the defendant
331
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:30,633
could not have possibly
committed the crime... (gagging)
332
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,368
crimes of which he has been accused,
333
00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:35,938
because, well... huh, because
he just simply wasn't there.
334
00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:39,263
- Ms. Perrin? You okay?
- No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you.
335
00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:43,813
And... seeing as he
wasn't there, he, uh...
336
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:47,149
Oh my... Oh, my God! (vomiting)
337
00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:53,723
(cell phone ringing)
338
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,261
(cell phone ringing)
339
00:14:57,361 --> 00:14:58,895
I think you have a call.
340
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:04,835
(awards music playing and applause)
341
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:09,106
This is just like the awards
ceremonies for doctors, except,
342
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:12,943
we don't give awards, we just...
save lives and don't brag about it.
343
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:17,347
Dr. Dobbs, I know this
is none of my business,
344
00:15:17,382 --> 00:15:18,915
but can I be honest with you?
345
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,052
Which implies you've been dishonest
with me up until this point,
346
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:23,121
but sure, go ahead.
347
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:26,920
Bottom line, I don't think Tucker
thinks he's important to you.
348
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,809
Well, that's ridiculous. I
heavily imply it constantly.
349
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:34,598
You know what? I don't think
you're a very good mother.
350
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:39,336
You're uncaring, you're cold, and
you make Tucker feel like crap.
351
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:42,216
Is it so hard to show your son
that you're proud of what he does?
352
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:46,252
Even my mom shows me that she
loves me, and she hates me.
353
00:15:46,286 --> 00:15:48,521
I don't care how deep you
have to dig to find an ounce
354
00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:51,301
of unconditional love and
support, but you better do it.
355
00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:53,493
Because he deserves it.
356
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:57,063
How long have you two been dating?
357
00:16:02,269 --> 00:16:04,904
Hey, hey... how'd it
go? Did you kill it?
358
00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:07,156
Oh, I killed it. Yeah,
uh, I killed my career.
359
00:16:07,256 --> 00:16:08,970
You know what? And it's my fault, for
360
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,227
thinking that I could have it all,
361
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,496
that I could be a mom,
and this hotshot lawyer,
362
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:13,901
when the truth is, I
can't even go five minutes
363
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:16,636
without barfing in somebody's handbag.
364
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,472
You puked in a purse?
365
00:16:18,506 --> 00:16:20,379
Yes. I did.
366
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,394
And it was a really nice purse.
367
00:16:23,545 --> 00:16:25,078
Look, they'll never give
me junior partner now.
368
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:26,980
I can't believe I
thought I could do this.
369
00:16:27,015 --> 00:16:28,348
You can do this.
370
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:31,084
You can do anything
because you're Riley Perrin.
371
00:16:31,119 --> 00:16:32,753
You're gonna be the mother to my child,
372
00:16:32,787 --> 00:16:35,122
and if you want something...
you're gonna get it!
373
00:16:35,156 --> 00:16:37,057
Danny, Danny!
374
00:16:37,091 --> 00:16:39,922
Hey. I'm Danny Wheeler, Riley's fianc?.
375
00:16:40,022 --> 00:16:42,190
I never touched her, don't hurt my face.
376
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:46,360
What? No. No, I just
want you all to know
377
00:16:46,395 --> 00:16:48,362
that you're making a terrible mistake.
378
00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:50,231
So what if she's pregnant?
379
00:16:50,265 --> 00:16:51,632
Yeah... that's right.
380
00:16:51,667 --> 00:16:55,035
She's not fat. She's got
a kid shoved up in there!
381
00:16:57,139 --> 00:16:59,640
My hero.
382
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:02,220
But you should all be
ashamed of yourselves.
383
00:17:02,246 --> 00:17:04,145
She's managed to outwork all of you,
384
00:17:04,246 --> 00:17:08,108
24-7, round the clock, learning
this case inside and out,
385
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:11,043
just to prove what I've always known...
386
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,879
that she can do anything
she sets her mind to.
387
00:17:13,914 --> 00:17:17,283
And that's exactly the kind of
lawyer you should make partner.
388
00:17:17,317 --> 00:17:19,451
(kazoo fanfare)
389
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:22,588
Surprise.
390
00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:26,292
Uhh... What... What is going on?
391
00:17:26,326 --> 00:17:28,928
Oh, my God, I did it. I got you the job!
392
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:32,936
We decided on you last week. I set up
393
00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:34,256
this whole closing arguments thing
394
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:37,222
just to get you down here so
that we could surprise you.
395
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:41,158
Puking into Sandy's
handbag was just a bonus.
396
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:46,297
But, for the record, you being
pregnant was never an issue.
397
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,799
Is that how HR told me to say it?
398
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,103
So you knew?
399
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,705
- How?
- Well, you stopped drinkin' coffee,
400
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,080
and you switched to water at happy hour,
401
00:17:57,106 --> 00:17:59,502
and, well, your office
smells like vomit.
402
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,725
And the winner for Outstanding
Daytime Special goes to...
403
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:09,312
Tucker Dobbs, The Mary Hart Show:
A Very Hart-Felt Mother's Day.
404
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,639
Oh, my God, I did it, I won!
405
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,926
- What are you doing?
- I'm going with you.
406
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,083
Wait! Where are you going?
407
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:16,862
You just told me I need to
show him I'm proud of him.
408
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,896
I didn't mean now!
409
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,698
No, don't... No, ow! Ohh!
410
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,767
Okay, fine. But not a word out of you!
411
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,102
Wow, to say this is a
surprise is an under...
412
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,940
Tucker, darling, I'm so happy for you.
413
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,507
Who's this woman?
414
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,608
I'm his mother.
415
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,076
- Who are you?
- I'm his mother.
416
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:35,948
That's right. Tucker Dobbs
has... has two mommies.
417
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,383
Two white mommies.
418
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,085
Tonight was a journey long in the...
419
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,054
Where the hell have
you been all this time?
420
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,552
Um, saving lives?
421
00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:45,221
Why is this woman
pretending to be your mother?
422
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:46,554
Can we please do this later?
423
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:48,998
- As I was saying...
- And why are you even here?
424
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:50,663
Did they run out of ice?
425
00:18:50,899 --> 00:18:53,568
I... I don't know who you
are, but it would be terrific
426
00:18:53,602 --> 00:18:54,736
if you would just shut up.
427
00:18:54,770 --> 00:18:56,838
Hey hey hey, how about you both shut up?
428
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:58,039
I just wanna dedicate this to...
429
00:18:58,073 --> 00:18:59,873
So what you're saying is
I'm not good enough for him?
430
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:01,929
Well, from what I hear, you're not
good enough for a lot of people.
431
00:19:02,029 --> 00:19:04,630
Oh, 'kay, well, I'm here
now, so you can leave.
432
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:05,765
No, you can leave.
433
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:07,033
Oh, I wish I could leave.
434
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,634
Tucker, I need to talk to you.
435
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:11,103
Seriously, can we do this later?
436
00:19:11,138 --> 00:19:12,405
I never really wanted kids.
437
00:19:12,439 --> 00:19:14,373
And we're doing this now.
438
00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:17,114
I just want you to know that
I really do love you, Tucker.
439
00:19:17,278 --> 00:19:19,545
And I'm sorry if I have
a hard time showing it.
440
00:19:21,482 --> 00:19:22,915
I love you, too, Mom.
441
00:19:24,918 --> 00:19:26,386
Oh...
442
00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:34,061
Powerful stuff, huh?
443
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:35,618
And I just wanted to
say that I really...
444
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:37,142
Not now, Mrs. Wheeler.
445
00:19:37,665 --> 00:19:40,618
Wheeler? Bonnie Wheeler?
446
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:44,073
You're the woman who
slept with my husband?
447
00:19:44,107 --> 00:19:47,276
No, no, you are thinking of
a different Bonnie Wheeler,
448
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,477
You know what? I'm gonna go get her.
449
00:19:48,511 --> 00:19:50,412
- 'Kay?
- Get back here.
450
00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:52,448
Mom! This way, through the kitchen!
451
00:19:52,543 --> 00:19:54,012
You know, just once,
I'd like to not have
452
00:19:54,038 --> 00:19:55,437
to run out of someplace fancy with you.
453
00:19:56,547 --> 00:19:57,948
Wait! No, I...
454
00:19:57,982 --> 00:20:01,618
- Wow. I just... uh...
- (music begins)
455
00:20:03,654 --> 00:20:05,221
(indistinct)
456
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:06,756
- Come on, man.
- The music's on.
457
00:20:09,498 --> 00:20:11,836
Hey, maybe the most awkward
acceptance speech ever
458
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,303
but you're back in the TV biz.
459
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,505
Yeah, only if I get a job selling them.
460
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:18,208
Every one of those
interviews got canceled.
461
00:20:18,242 --> 00:20:19,509
I'm sorry, man.
462
00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:21,578
But your mom did show up.
463
00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:24,614
Yeah. Hey, she told me what you said.
464
00:20:25,716 --> 00:20:26,783
Thank you, Ben.
465
00:20:27,919 --> 00:20:31,321
You know, sometimes I wish
I was a part of your family.
466
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,789
Your mom might be crazy,
467
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:35,158
but... she really had my back today.
468
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,161
Hey, don't tell Tucker,
469
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,596
but I tried to open a bottle of wine
470
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:40,864
with his award.
471
00:20:40,898 --> 00:20:42,838
Those wing things snapped right off.
472
00:20:45,197 --> 00:20:47,197
Welcome to the family.
473
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:51,797
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