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Previously on "Another Period"...
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You are to evacuate
the premises immediately.
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[DEMONICALLY] You bitch.
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[ROARING]
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[THUNDER BOOMING]
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[DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]
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Great-Grandpa Bellacourt,
you're looking very dirty.
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[WIND BLOWS]
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Hello?
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00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,914
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
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? ?
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[SCREAMS]
13
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[YELPING] My... my milk.
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[YELPS] Oh...
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My milk!
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[SCREAMS]
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? In nomine Patris et Filli, et... ?
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? Mayor Cutie ?
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? Amen ?
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[SOBBING] Oh, Mayor Cutie.
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I'm so sorry I killed you.
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00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,644
But, to be clear,
you were being a bitch.
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[GHOSTLY WHINE]
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Cutie?
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[OMINOUS TONES]
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[SCREAMING]
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Ghost!
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? I want the money, I want the fame ?
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? I want the whole world
to know my name ?
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? This is mine, I got to get it ?
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? I got to get it, got, got to get it ?
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? "Another Period" ?
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- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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[TEACUP RATTLING]
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I haven't been this scared
since that time we went
36
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to that haunted house on Cape Cod
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that had the mix-and-match china.
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[GASPS, SHOUTS]
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Ooh, I shudder to this day.
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One time, a ghost
had sex with me in my sleep.
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He was really spooky,
42
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and he looked just like Frederick,
43
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and he smelled like Frederick,
and he was solid
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and really easy to touch,
and not translucent,
45
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but it wasn't a ghost.
46
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- It was Frederick.
- [GASPS]
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[EXHALES FEARFULLY]
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00:01:53,751 --> 00:01:55,610
Frederick, who do you think
the ghost is?
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Well, I don't want you
to panic, Lillian,
50
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but I think you're sitting
right next to her.
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[GASPS]
52
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[JARRING VIOLIN NOTES]
53
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,053
That's not a ghost. That's our mother.
54
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[DRAMATIC TONE]
55
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Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
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You are... right. Sorry, Mother,
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you just looked so pale and ghostly.
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00:02:13,904 --> 00:02:15,164
Why thank you, darling.
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00:02:15,174 --> 00:02:17,833
The only way to properly
dispose of a ghost
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00:02:17,843 --> 00:02:20,001
is to ask it nicely to leave.
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00:02:20,011 --> 00:02:22,939
I couldn't agree more, Mother.
That's why I've hired
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the hottest spiritualist
in town to host a s�ance for us!
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[BOTH GIGGLING]
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- [GIGGLES]
- I heard the Herkimers
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only got four ghosts at their s�ance,
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and one was just a stillborn baby
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who couldn't even talk.
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00:02:33,627 --> 00:02:35,913
I won't even get out of bed
for less than ten ghosts.
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00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,755
I present Mr. Harry Houdini.
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[GIRLS SQUEALING]
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[LOW, DRAMATIC TONES]
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00:02:43,736 --> 00:02:45,664
I hear you have a spirit issue?
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Ooh.
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Yes.
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[HIP-HOP BEATS]
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? ?
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And then the ghost was gone.
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Right out of thin air!
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Are you sure it was real?
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It was a real ghost.
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My teats cried.
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- Oh, my God, are you serious?
- [WHIMPERS INDISTINCTLY]
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00:03:03,158 --> 00:03:04,884
[SLAM]
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00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:08,588
You want to hear a story
about a real ghost, hmm?
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[CREEPY RATTLING MUSIC]
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[WHISPERING] Well...
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The man who built this house
went insane.
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00:03:16,172 --> 00:03:19,565
Slaughtered his wife and children.
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00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:23,236
Chopped them up, ate gunpowder,
sliced his own manhood in two,
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00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:26,474
and lit himself... aflame.
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00:03:26,484 --> 00:03:28,843
[GASPS SOFTLY] I don't like aflame.
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00:03:28,853 --> 00:03:31,144
At night, they say,
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00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:36,017
he slides into servants
through their bad place.
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[WHISPERING] That's... their assholes.
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00:03:40,532 --> 00:03:42,825
And do you want to know
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00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:46,594
what the name of that maniac was?
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00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,965
[QUIETLY] Ferwilliger Baccarat?
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00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:51,134
- Tell us, tell us!
- I'll tell you.
99
00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:53,403
? ?
100
00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:55,637
He doesn't have a name.
101
00:03:55,647 --> 00:03:56,873
[SPEAKING NORMALLY] You idiots.
102
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[LAUGHING] Because he doesn't exist.
103
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,926
Just like ghosts don't exist.
104
00:04:02,936 --> 00:04:05,615
Hmm? You stupid shitheads.
105
00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:07,819
[LAUGHS]
106
00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:09,987
Well. Sticky Jonathan's real.
107
00:04:09,997 --> 00:04:12,523
- Who is that?
- Oh, Sticky Jonathan.
108
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:14,860
Well, he gets hungry
if he doesn't get his macaroons.
109
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:17,496
That's why he's so sticky.
That and the blood
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00:04:17,506 --> 00:04:20,432
that covers his chest.
That's from his papa.
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00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:24,502
Papa was angry.
He watches me while I sleep.
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00:04:24,512 --> 00:04:25,936
[QUIETLY] He sleeps forever.
113
00:04:25,946 --> 00:04:27,807
You're always talking
about Sticky Jonathan.
114
00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:29,674
He's a figment of your imagination.
115
00:04:29,684 --> 00:04:31,044
Well, if he's a figment,
116
00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:33,912
then how come my stomach
was all sticky this morning?
117
00:04:33,922 --> 00:04:36,049
That's not... it's not...
118
00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:37,110
[BUZZER RINGING]
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00:04:37,121 --> 00:04:38,585
Quit this idle chitchat!
120
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:42,223
We have a code white.
We need to eradicate the ghosts
121
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:45,559
that Mr. Harry Houdini is trying
to bring into this plane
122
00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,561
with his foolish "say-on-say."
123
00:04:47,571 --> 00:04:50,263
Flobelle, paint the lamb's blood
above the kitchen door.
124
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:51,831
Blanche, kill yourself
125
00:04:51,841 --> 00:04:55,660
so you can talk to the ghosts in their
native language. Garfield, come!
126
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,739
That's what was on his stomach.
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00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,708
You think so?
128
00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:04,478
? ?
129
00:05:04,488 --> 00:05:07,350
Now, there are three s�ance packages
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00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,417
to choose from. The basic,
131
00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:12,787
wherein I speak to the spirit
but you can't hear them;
132
00:05:12,797 --> 00:05:15,924
the deluxe, wherein
I channel the weakened spirit...
133
00:05:15,934 --> 00:05:17,326
you may speak to it,
134
00:05:17,336 --> 00:05:19,896
but it will only whine in response.
135
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:21,902
[GIGGLES]
Sounds like the Jewish package.
136
00:05:21,913 --> 00:05:24,134
[SIBLINGS LAUGHING]
137
00:05:24,144 --> 00:05:27,603
[QUIETLY] They're all Jewish packages.
138
00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:31,843
And finally,
the best value, best option,
139
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:35,446
top-of-the-line
Champagne Excelsior package,
140
00:05:35,456 --> 00:05:37,782
where I channel your loved one...
141
00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:41,251
fully nude, anything goes.
142
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:42,955
We'll take the Excelsior.
143
00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:44,723
We always choose
the most expensive option.
144
00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,525
- Mm, okay.
- Yes, that's why I sleep
145
00:05:46,535 --> 00:05:49,160
on a mattress made of one entire ruby.
146
00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:51,595
It's not comfortable at all,
but it's very expensive.
147
00:05:51,605 --> 00:05:54,566
Wonderful. Now, let me ask you...
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00:05:54,576 --> 00:05:57,670
what do you think is haunting you?
149
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,271
I'm sensing...
150
00:05:59,281 --> 00:06:01,040
a P...
151
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,143
- I (bleep) my brother!
- Ooh, me too.
152
00:06:03,153 --> 00:06:04,511
Except, you know, switched.
153
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:07,480
I once pushed a blind priest
off of a cliff.
154
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:09,516
I know it doesn't sound like it,
but trust me,
155
00:06:09,526 --> 00:06:11,518
- it was hilarious. [LAUGHS]
- [GIGGLES]
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00:06:11,528 --> 00:06:14,554
Okay... okay. Ah...
157
00:06:14,564 --> 00:06:17,792
but literal hauntings. Any ghosts?
158
00:06:17,802 --> 00:06:20,328
Oh, oh, I know who the ghost is.
159
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,264
- It's Mayor Cutie.
- Oh, a dignitary.
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00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:26,367
[SIGHS] They go
at a slightly higher rate.
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00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:28,869
I will charge you...
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double?
163
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:34,244
Oh, delightful. We would've paid triple.
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[EXHALES]
165
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? ?
166
00:06:40,093 --> 00:06:42,919
[METAL DEVICES RINGING]
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[RINGING STOPPING AND STARTING ABRUPTLY]
168
00:06:45,932 --> 00:06:48,559
[CLEARS THROAT]
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[RODS RINGING]
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00:06:53,973 --> 00:06:56,033
[STAMMERS, CLEARS THROAT]
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00:06:56,043 --> 00:06:59,338
Oh, hey... [CLEARS THROAT]
Hey there, Mister, uh...
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00:06:59,348 --> 00:07:02,040
Mr. Houdini, is it?
I knew you did magic.
173
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,343
I... big fan, by the way, but...
174
00:07:04,353 --> 00:07:06,068
I didn't realize you did conjurings too.
175
00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:08,112
Yes, well, today,
everyone in entertainment
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00:07:08,122 --> 00:07:10,114
has to diversify. I'm a triple threat:
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00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:11,516
magician, conjurer,
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00:07:11,526 --> 00:07:13,866
director of the New Jersey
Department of Public Works.
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00:07:13,877 --> 00:07:15,287
I do magic too, actually.
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00:07:15,297 --> 00:07:16,554
That's fascinating.
181
00:07:16,564 --> 00:07:17,989
[STAMMERING]
182
00:07:17,999 --> 00:07:19,792
I've been doing it
for about eight years now.
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00:07:19,802 --> 00:07:21,863
I, uh... [LAUGHS]
I mean, more seriously now
184
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,540
for... I, well...
I've never been onstage.
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00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:26,299
I would be so honored
if I could show you
186
00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:28,035
- some of my stuff.
- [SIGHS]
187
00:07:28,045 --> 00:07:30,737
I don't work with amateurs.
188
00:07:30,747 --> 00:07:32,439
Do you even have a lovely assistant?
189
00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:34,239
- Lovely...?
- Assistant?
190
00:07:34,249 --> 00:07:36,376
A confection for the eyes?
191
00:07:36,386 --> 00:07:38,578
It's standard for a guy at your level...
192
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,715
the bottom.
Like a... maybe some kind of.
193
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:43,049
Slovenian arm-wrestler, right?
194
00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:44,751
With a big wooly beard,
195
00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:46,920
and forearms like Christmas hams.
196
00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:48,489
What? No, a lady.
197
00:07:48,499 --> 00:07:50,958
It's got to be a lady. You know,
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00:07:50,968 --> 00:07:54,463
the kind you can saw in half
and bang either half afterward.
199
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:55,965
[SOFTLY] It's all the same to me.
200
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,133
Of course. I enjoy ladies.
201
00:07:58,143 --> 00:07:59,934
- Okay.
- Their long, funny necks
202
00:07:59,944 --> 00:08:01,369
and jagged shoulders.
203
00:08:01,379 --> 00:08:03,439
I'm gonna find myself an assistant.
204
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,773
You can bet on it.
205
00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:06,309
Who knows?
206
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,410
Maybe you can open up
for me someday, kid.
207
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,290
[LAUGHS] [GASPING]
208
00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:12,550
? Who, bitch? ?
209
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,016
? Who, bitch? ?
210
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,086
There we are...
211
00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:17,254
[EERIE MUSIC]
212
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,657
The spirit world and the earthly plane
213
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,259
should never meet.
214
00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:23,694
This ghost trap will stop
any ghoul in its tracks.
215
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,864
You know, sometimes a ghost
just needs a good snack.
216
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,533
Sticky Jonathan loves crumpets.
217
00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:30,067
Crumpets!
218
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,970
Ghosts must be dealt with mercilessly.
219
00:08:31,980 --> 00:08:34,206
Do you know what happens
to people after they die?
220
00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:36,441
- They come back as daffodils.
- No!
221
00:08:36,451 --> 00:08:37,776
They come back as evil...
222
00:08:37,786 --> 00:08:40,111
evil specters.
223
00:08:40,121 --> 00:08:43,559
Now... help me stop this poltergeist.
224
00:08:45,528 --> 00:08:47,186
Don't touch anything. Hmm!
225
00:08:47,196 --> 00:08:48,519
But help me, boy.
226
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,089
But don't touch anything.
227
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:51,472
Help me, Garfield! I...
228
00:08:51,483 --> 00:08:53,469
- Do not touch a thing.
- [TEARFULLY] I'm helping.
229
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,548
Shh.
230
00:08:57,541 --> 00:09:00,201
[JARRING STRING MUSIC]
231
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,470
No. No, no, no, no!
232
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,706
[PANTING]
233
00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:08,649
You're okay. Ghost Mother
can't hurt you in here.
234
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,692
- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- [GASPS]
235
00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:12,947
Frederick, will you be long in there?
236
00:09:12,957 --> 00:09:16,283
What do you want, you fowl demon?!
237
00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:19,053
Well, to have a bowel movement.
238
00:09:19,063 --> 00:09:20,355
[WHISPERING] No.
239
00:09:20,365 --> 00:09:22,356
[GASPING] No!
240
00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:25,860
[SOBBING] No, no!
241
00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:28,240
No!
242
00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:31,435
Beatrice, are you in here?
243
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,502
[SCREAMS]
244
00:09:32,512 --> 00:09:34,437
- [GASPING]
- [LAUGHING]
245
00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:35,839
Beatrice!
246
00:09:35,849 --> 00:09:37,045
Aw, how'd you know it was me?
247
00:09:37,056 --> 00:09:39,776
Well, I'm looking right at you. How
long have you been waiting there?
248
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,807
Oh, just for all day.
249
00:09:40,818 --> 00:09:43,047
[SIGHS] Look, I need your help.
250
00:09:43,057 --> 00:09:45,450
I want you to be my assistant.
251
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,618
- Murder assistant?
- No.
252
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,353
Murder has nothing to do with this task.
253
00:09:49,363 --> 00:09:50,486
- Oh.
- I want you to be
254
00:09:50,496 --> 00:09:52,656
my magic assistant. All you have to do
255
00:09:52,666 --> 00:09:54,090
is smile and wear a vest.
256
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,728
Ooh, I love a nice vest.
257
00:09:55,738 --> 00:09:57,363
Why not let nature be your sleeves?
258
00:09:57,373 --> 00:09:59,965
And most importantly,
you need to look impressed
259
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,399
when I conjure...
260
00:10:01,409 --> 00:10:03,404
the mystical arts!
[FLASHY MUSICAL FLOURISH]
261
00:10:03,415 --> 00:10:04,769
[GASPS] Collapsible bouquet.
262
00:10:04,779 --> 00:10:06,575
[SIGHS] Yes.
263
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:09,080
[STAMMERING] Okay,
but let me try something else.
264
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:10,143
Bet you can't figure out
265
00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:11,811
- how the flying ball works.
- [GASPS]
266
00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:12,903
It's on a stick.
267
00:10:12,914 --> 00:10:14,346
[JAZZY MUSIC]
268
00:10:14,356 --> 00:10:16,349
? ?
269
00:10:16,359 --> 00:10:17,683
There was an opening in the ring!
270
00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:20,262
- [RINGS CLATTERING]
- Oh, and you dropped them.
271
00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:22,022
They're all tied together.
272
00:10:22,032 --> 00:10:26,026
? ?
273
00:10:26,036 --> 00:10:27,661
Rise.
274
00:10:27,671 --> 00:10:29,162
You're using your thumb.
275
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,398
I mean... [GASPS DELIGHTEDLY]
276
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,368
[CARDS CLATTERING]
277
00:10:33,378 --> 00:10:35,235
? Ring around ?
278
00:10:35,245 --> 00:10:37,904
? The rosy ?
279
00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:40,475
This... this mayor.
280
00:10:40,485 --> 00:10:43,345
He was a fine, upstanding gentleman.
281
00:10:43,355 --> 00:10:45,212
- He was a girl.
- Of course, a girl.
282
00:10:45,222 --> 00:10:47,483
That's... what I was saying.
An upstanding woman.
283
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:49,451
- She was a dog.
- Yes, a dog.
284
00:10:49,461 --> 00:10:52,687
A female... dog.
285
00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,724
Big, fluffy, huge... Chihuahua.
286
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,425
Little tiny Chihuahua.
287
00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:57,926
But huge... huge in spirit.
288
00:10:57,936 --> 00:11:01,065
Huge in cuteness. A veritable mayor...
289
00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:03,566
of cuteness. Oh! That's right!
290
00:11:03,576 --> 00:11:05,936
How did you know?
That was her name... Mayor Cutie.
291
00:11:05,946 --> 00:11:08,404
Now, there are a lot
of dogs in the underworld.
292
00:11:08,414 --> 00:11:12,076
I wanna make sure I find the right dog.
293
00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:13,912
Anything you have of hers
would be of help.
294
00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:15,590
I've got a whole box.
295
00:11:17,725 --> 00:11:20,546
Ooh! Would this taffeta night-cape do?
296
00:11:20,557 --> 00:11:23,254
Yes. But a picture would do better.
297
00:11:23,264 --> 00:11:24,690
[OBJECTS CLANKING]
298
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,858
Ah, yes.
299
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:29,360
Is this her natural hair?
300
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,062
Uh... ah, no. That's a wig.
301
00:11:31,072 --> 00:11:33,565
Okay. And these spots...
302
00:11:33,575 --> 00:11:36,403
would you say
they're more black or brown?
303
00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:37,937
Brown, I think.
304
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,639
Oh, speaking of brown...
305
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:41,807
it's her gold-encrusted poop scoop.
306
00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:43,408
[INHALES DEEPLY]
307
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:45,879
Still smells like her.
308
00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:48,315
How many pounds would you say she was...
309
00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:50,250
- or take?
- She didn't like to say.
310
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:52,225
[GASPS] Ooh, do you wanna
see her bathing suit?
311
00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:54,254
It's a six-piece. [GIGGLING]
312
00:11:54,264 --> 00:11:56,023
Three little bras running down the front
313
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,926
for all her little tits!
314
00:11:57,936 --> 00:11:59,592
I think I have all the
information I need.
315
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:01,629
Thank you. Now I must leave
316
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,075
in order to prepare.
317
00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:06,467
Okay...
318
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:08,704
it seems my smoke pellets
are not working.
319
00:12:08,714 --> 00:12:10,805
But imagine, if you will,
that I am leaving
320
00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:12,774
in a puff of smoke.
321
00:12:12,784 --> 00:12:15,644
[FLASHY MUSIC]
322
00:12:15,654 --> 00:12:17,513
[COUGHING]
323
00:12:17,523 --> 00:12:21,149
? ?
324
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:23,219
Three more of these stupid gigs
325
00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:25,120
and "Hou-dye-nee" gets his boat, baby.
326
00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:26,154
[KNOCKING]
327
00:12:26,164 --> 00:12:27,691
Taken.
328
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:30,661
Here we are. I have my assistant.
329
00:12:30,671 --> 00:12:32,595
- And?
- And now I can open for you
330
00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:34,163
like you said I could.
331
00:12:34,173 --> 00:12:35,632
Oh. Of course.
332
00:12:35,642 --> 00:12:38,000
Well, you're clear to do
five up top to open for me,
333
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,876
but... it's not like it's free.
334
00:12:39,887 --> 00:12:42,607
- Have you heard of "pay to play"?
- Is that where an older neighbor
335
00:12:42,618 --> 00:12:44,711
puts his finger in your underwear
and gives you a butterscotch?
336
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,593
No. That's called a "Glasgow salute."
337
00:12:46,604 --> 00:12:48,745
- Oh.
- And it's caramel, not butterscotch.
338
00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:50,715
We've got three packages.
339
00:12:50,725 --> 00:12:53,485
NUMBER ONE: the New Faces, where I
bring you up for one quick trick.
340
00:12:53,485 --> 00:12:55,620
NUMBER TWO: the Up & Comer,
341
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:57,623
where I say "nice job"
after you're done.
342
00:12:57,633 --> 00:13:00,692
Or number three:
the Champagne Excelsior.
343
00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:03,395
You get your own show, private venue,
344
00:13:03,405 --> 00:13:06,800
fully nude, in front of
an audience of strangers.
345
00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:08,735
As far as what goes down
in that theatre...
346
00:13:08,745 --> 00:13:11,238
well, that's dealer's choice.
347
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,706
Let's go with number two.
348
00:13:12,716 --> 00:13:13,740
Well, suit yourself.
349
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,874
[BEATRICE SIGHS]
350
00:13:14,884 --> 00:13:16,857
- Oh, excuse me. Magic man?
- Yes?
351
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:18,845
Do you have the time?
352
00:13:18,855 --> 00:13:20,882
[GASPS] Where's your watch?
353
00:13:20,892 --> 00:13:23,384
- Very nice trick.
- ? Ta-da ?
354
00:13:23,394 --> 00:13:25,052
No, don't "ta-da." It
was not your trick.
355
00:13:25,062 --> 00:13:26,585
- It was my trick.
- It was her trick.
356
00:13:26,596 --> 00:13:28,690
She's my assistant, and it was my trick.
357
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,426
I can't believe it's only
costing me $400
358
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,728
to solve literally all my problems.
359
00:13:33,738 --> 00:13:35,663
[WOLF HOWLS]
360
00:13:35,673 --> 00:13:38,066
And that... that goes there...
361
00:13:38,076 --> 00:13:41,036
and then that goes there,
and that means...
362
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:42,437
Oh, dear God.
363
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,735
It's right there, in front of their
faces, but they're too blind to see.
364
00:13:46,552 --> 00:13:47,778
How can they explain the fact
365
00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:50,278
that Mother has always been an adult?
366
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,681
[WHIMPERING] What does it mean?
367
00:13:51,691 --> 00:13:53,759
What does it mean?!
What does it all mean?
368
00:13:54,587 --> 00:13:57,220
This is it. I am Houdini's opening act!
369
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,621
Ladies and gentlemen,
370
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,957
the s�ance is about to begin.
371
00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:02,793
But while Mr. Houdini is setting up,
372
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,730
first a simple act of escape...
373
00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:08,100
from me, the Great Boozler.
374
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:10,100
- [LAUGHS]
- My assistant,
375
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:13,938
Elaine, will now bind me.
376
00:14:13,948 --> 00:14:17,908
This is a regulation straightjacket.
377
00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:18,943
Tie it tight.
378
00:14:18,953 --> 00:14:20,244
I'm bored.
379
00:14:20,254 --> 00:14:23,916
Mm. Does anyone like watching magic?
380
00:14:23,926 --> 00:14:25,485
[LAUGHING BREATHLESSLY]
381
00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:27,119
- Done!
- [CLEARS THROAT] And now...
382
00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:28,486
the escape!
383
00:14:28,496 --> 00:14:30,889
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
384
00:14:30,899 --> 00:14:32,959
? ?
385
00:14:32,969 --> 00:14:35,387
[WHISPERING] You have to pop
your shoulder out of the socket.
386
00:14:35,398 --> 00:14:36,696
You're not the magician.
387
00:14:36,706 --> 00:14:40,033
I am. Women are not magic. Except
that one thing where you can make
388
00:14:40,043 --> 00:14:42,134
a human form inside of you.
That's really magic.
389
00:14:42,144 --> 00:14:44,837
That Elaine is beautiful. [CHUCKLES]
390
00:14:44,847 --> 00:14:46,474
[STRUGGLING]
391
00:14:46,484 --> 00:14:48,942
Would anybody like to see a trick?
392
00:14:48,952 --> 00:14:50,611
- No, thank you.
- Me, me!
393
00:14:50,621 --> 00:14:52,413
Frederick, pick a number.
394
00:14:52,423 --> 00:14:55,450
Ah... ooh, math was not my strong suit.
395
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:57,817
Uh... all right.
396
00:14:57,827 --> 00:15:00,688
Is your number... seven?
397
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:01,922
I don't remember.
398
00:15:01,932 --> 00:15:05,427
- It was seven!
- [LAUGHING] Wow!
399
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:06,461
[LAUGHS]
400
00:15:06,471 --> 00:15:08,029
And for my next trick:
401
00:15:08,039 --> 00:15:10,199
this is a normal tablecloth
402
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,302
and a normal table. Ready?
403
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,903
[JAZZY MUSIC]
404
00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:15,964
[ALBERT STRUGGLING]
405
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:20,310
? ?
406
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,979
[GASPS, SCREAMS]
407
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,880
[MOUTHS WORD]
408
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,750
Oh, I get it. It's Blanche.
409
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,286
[JAZZY TRUMPET FLOURISH]
410
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,587
[EERIE PIANO TUNE]
411
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,656
I just know the ghost is Mayor Cutie.
412
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,959
Oh. I wonder if having been bones
413
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:37,294
will change her love for them
in any way.
414
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,464
Thank you for joining me
415
00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:42,466
at the table of the gods.
416
00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:44,346
[STRUGGLING]
417
00:15:46,581 --> 00:15:49,241
[WHISPERING] Can anybody else see her?
418
00:15:49,251 --> 00:15:54,547
? ?
419
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:58,884
[STRUGGLING, PANTING]
420
00:15:58,894 --> 00:16:02,022
Shh, shh, shh. I hear something faint...
421
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:06,259
an ushering in
of the all-seeing spirits.
422
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:09,662
Now... anyone you'd like to see?
423
00:16:09,672 --> 00:16:12,432
I want to see Mother.
424
00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,201
She's right there.
425
00:16:14,211 --> 00:16:16,071
Mother, it's me, Frederick.
426
00:16:16,081 --> 00:16:18,072
- Can you hear me?
- Of course...
427
00:16:18,082 --> 00:16:20,241
[SCREAMS]
428
00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:22,210
Oh, wow. He is good.
429
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:25,714
[STRUGGLING]
430
00:16:25,724 --> 00:16:27,124
Whoa!
431
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:34,557
- Garfield!
- [YELPS]
432
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:36,459
A supernatural presence
is close at hand.
433
00:16:36,469 --> 00:16:38,893
I can feel it. Set the bait, boys,
434
00:16:38,903 --> 00:16:40,363
set the bait.
435
00:16:40,373 --> 00:16:42,265
Here is pat� for the ghost-dog,
436
00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:45,134
here is a wire hanger
for the ghost-baby.
437
00:16:45,144 --> 00:16:47,937
Trio of home-baked macarons for...
438
00:16:47,947 --> 00:16:49,572
[TOGETHER] Sticky Jonathan.
439
00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:53,510
But Mr. Peepers, that's my best friend.
440
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,113
Other people will die.
441
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:58,214
You'll make friends with their ghosts.
442
00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,717
Mr. Peepers,
443
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,885
how do you know so much about ghosts?
444
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,890
[MYSTICAL WOODWIND MUSIC]
445
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,258
Garfield...
446
00:17:06,268 --> 00:17:09,628
? ?
447
00:17:09,638 --> 00:17:12,797
I've never told anybody
this story before,
448
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:18,003
but my great-great-great-grandpappy...
449
00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:20,038
- was a ghost.
- [YELPS]
450
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:22,941
Yes, Garfield, I have ghost blood
451
00:17:22,951 --> 00:17:27,447
coursing through me.
It is my family's eternal shame.
452
00:17:27,457 --> 00:17:30,018
Is that why they call you Spiritwalker?
453
00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:32,987
What? Oh, no, no. Don't be ridiculous.
They call me Spiritwalker
454
00:17:32,997 --> 00:17:34,822
because I walk
with such great enthusiasm.
455
00:17:34,832 --> 00:17:36,123
Observe.
456
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:38,159
[GLAMOROUS MUSIC]
457
00:17:38,169 --> 00:17:39,861
Oh!
458
00:17:39,871 --> 00:17:41,761
Oh, Mr. Peepers!
459
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:45,834
Mister... oh! Look out!
460
00:17:45,844 --> 00:17:49,003
Mr. Peepers, look at you go!
461
00:17:49,013 --> 00:17:52,105
[LAUGHING DELIGHTEDLY] Oh, my goodness.
462
00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:58,047
[CHANTING GIBBERISH]
463
00:17:58,057 --> 00:17:59,615
[SQUEALS] Oh, please be Mayor Cutie.
464
00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:02,117
Please be Mayor Cutie!
465
00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:03,618
- [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- [GASPS]
466
00:18:03,628 --> 00:18:06,221
[ETHEREAL MUSIC]
467
00:18:06,231 --> 00:18:08,057
[ALL GASPING]
468
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:12,496
Here comes... a being of smoky mystery.
469
00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:15,499
- It's Cutie!
- The Major Cutie!
470
00:18:15,509 --> 00:18:18,000
- No... Mayor Cutie.
- Mayor Cutie!
471
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:20,069
- [SQUEALING]
- Come!
472
00:18:20,079 --> 00:18:21,838
- [GIGGLES]
- No, no! No!
473
00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:23,141
If you touch that glass,
474
00:18:23,151 --> 00:18:25,409
you will pierce the veil between worlds.
475
00:18:25,419 --> 00:18:27,278
We will all surely perish.
476
00:18:27,288 --> 00:18:29,417
I don't care about perishing!
That's my dog in there.
477
00:18:29,428 --> 00:18:31,048
- ALL: No!
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
478
00:18:31,058 --> 00:18:33,685
Ooh, I almost got my wrist free.
479
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,887
[HOUDINI AND BEATRICE GASPING]
480
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,422
Cutie!
481
00:18:37,432 --> 00:18:41,359
You came back from doggy heaven.
[LAUGHING]
482
00:18:41,369 --> 00:18:43,562
It's Cutie!
483
00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:45,008
Wait a second.
484
00:18:47,743 --> 00:18:49,970
This spot is painted on!
485
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,537
- Imposter!
- [GASPS]
486
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,239
You're a flimflam man!
487
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:54,874
Well, conjure complete.
488
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,009
I bid you adieu!
489
00:18:57,019 --> 00:18:58,645
God damn smoke pellets.
490
00:18:58,655 --> 00:19:00,347
[DRAMATIC STRING MUSIC]
491
00:19:00,653 --> 00:19:02,526
- [GRUNTS]
- [GIRLS SCREAM]
492
00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:06,954
Albert-kazam!
493
00:19:06,964 --> 00:19:08,955
[FLASHY TUNE]
494
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:11,826
Take him away, officers.
495
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:14,062
Well, there was no spirit after all.
496
00:19:14,072 --> 00:19:15,631
[GHOST TRAP RATTLING]
497
00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:17,031
No spirit?
498
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:20,301
The trap has caught the specter!
Everybody follow.
499
00:19:20,311 --> 00:19:21,903
[EERIE STRING MUSIC]
500
00:19:21,913 --> 00:19:24,207
[STAMMERING] Ghost...
501
00:19:24,217 --> 00:19:26,276
The ghost trap has been sprung!
502
00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:29,287
The phantasm is among us. Stay back!
503
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:32,481
[GASPS] Ghost Mother, you
haunt me still!
504
00:19:32,491 --> 00:19:34,816
Oh, Frederick, I'm not a ghost.
505
00:19:34,826 --> 00:19:37,787
You just saw me downstairs.
Unholy wraith!
506
00:19:37,797 --> 00:19:40,891
[ALL SHOUTING, GUNSHOTS]
507
00:19:40,901 --> 00:19:43,326
[MUFFLED] Holy Christ!
508
00:19:43,336 --> 00:19:44,729
Mayor Cutie.
509
00:19:44,739 --> 00:19:49,601
He-Devil speaks the name
of the white man's lord!
510
00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:51,236
- [GRUNTS]
- [ALL SHOUT]
511
00:19:51,246 --> 00:19:54,338
[GRUNTS, SHOUTS]
512
00:19:54,348 --> 00:19:55,973
- Hi, Daddy.
- [SCOFFS]
513
00:19:55,983 --> 00:19:57,976
I thought you were a real ghost.
514
00:19:57,986 --> 00:19:59,655
Hello, family.
515
00:20:01,155 --> 00:20:03,950
[EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
516
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,951
[GRUNTS IN PAIN]
517
00:20:05,961 --> 00:20:08,854
I'm sorry I thought
you were a ghost, Mother.
518
00:20:08,864 --> 00:20:10,557
Father was the ghost all along!
519
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:12,391
He's no ghost.
520
00:20:12,401 --> 00:20:14,527
He's been living in the walls
521
00:20:14,537 --> 00:20:16,529
like some sort of rat.
522
00:20:16,539 --> 00:20:19,799
I built these walls.
I can live in them if I want to.
523
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:21,934
You'll do no such thing.
524
00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:26,205
This is my house now.
You live here no more.
525
00:20:26,215 --> 00:20:28,976
Shrew! [GRUNTS]
526
00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:32,912
- [SCOFFS] What a rip-off.
- Bye, Daddy.
527
00:20:32,922 --> 00:20:34,692
So, am I the ghost?
528
00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:38,653
What should we call you?
Bark when you like one.
529
00:20:38,663 --> 00:20:40,389
Councilwoman Snuggles.
530
00:20:40,399 --> 00:20:42,191
Burgermeister Schlussi?
531
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:44,160
Ooh, Guadalupe Festiva.
532
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:46,428
- [DOG WHINES]
- Oh, you're right.
533
00:20:46,438 --> 00:20:48,596
I'll just pretend you're Mayor Cutie.
534
00:20:48,606 --> 00:20:50,164
[GIGGLING]
535
00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:52,066
I'm so sorry I killed you.
536
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,503
? Ooh ?
537
00:20:54,513 --> 00:20:56,672
I hope I don't have to do it again.
538
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:01,674
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
539
00:21:01,724 --> 00:21:06,274
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