All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S03E08.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously, on The West Wing:

You have to ask a girl
out on a date.

You can't just randomly tumble
into a girl sideways

and hope she breaks up
with you soon,

the way you always do.
Why not?

She goes out with guys.
Are you jealous?

No.
See?

I don't get jealous.

Gather ye rosebuds, Josh.

Donna, I am not going
to knock on her door.

( reporters clamoring )

Katie.

C.J., do you
know anything

about the President
being sued?

Sued?

There was an item
in the Rocky Mountain

something-- Bugler.
Bugle.

The Rocky Mountain
Bugle.

It's the Herald.
The Rocky Mountain Herald.

About the President being sued?

Unless this person
was making it up.

All right, that's
all, everybody.

I'll see
you at 5:00.

REPORTERS:
Thank you, C.J.

You haven't heard
anything about
that, have you?

What?

The President
being sued.

It's the News, isn't it?

What are you...?

The Rocky Mountain News.
Toby.

There's a group--

a veterans' group
that's talking

about not showing up
for the anniversary.

Which group?
I don't know.

Why aren't they
going to show up?

They're talking
about not showing up.

Why?
I don't know.

Do you know anything

about the President
being sued?

No.

Katie Witt
seems to think

there was an item in
the Rocky Mountain News.

I thought
it was the Bugler.

It's not.

I don't know
anything about it.

Okay.
Ginger.

Yes.
Have you set up
a meeting for me?

Yes.

With the veterans' group?
Yes.

The one that's talking
about not coming?

Yes.

You haven't yet, have you?

No.
But you will.

Yes.
Sam.

The President's being sued?

Did you get this from
the Rocky Mountain...?

I got it from the DOJ--
Civil Division.

Three months ago
at a fund-raiser

the President was asked
about air bags.

Someone suggested there are
more dangers than benefits.

The President says--
I'm quoting--

"Everything has risks.

"Your car could
drive into a lake

"and your seat
belt jams

but no one's saying don't
wear your seat belt."

Oh, please
don't tell me...

That someone thought
that's what he was
saying? Yeah.

A couple at the fund-raiser
got into an accident.

He wasn't wearing a
seat belt, he died.

She's suing for
contributory negligence.

You can't sue
the President.

Lawyers get rich trying
to figure out how.

We should do
something preemptive.

It's not going to be
a big deal.

right before something
becomes a big deal?

Toby.
Yes.

Good morning, sir.
Hey, Sam.

Good morning,
Mr. President.

Come with me for a second,
would you?

Sir, it's possible

you're going
to hear some stuff

about seat belts today.

I urge you to ignore it.

No problem.

You straightening
things out

with the Smithsonian?

Today.

I'm supposed to speak
at the opening of an exhibit

marking the 60th anniversary
of Pearl Harbor,

but there's
a small veterans' group

that objects
to the exhibit

on the grounds
that it's America bashing.

I thought you liked
America bashing.

I wouldn't say that.

What would you say?

I wouldn't.

Sir, you needed me?

Frank, what
was added?

Hutchinson
just told us

that two F-117
strike fighters

have been added
to the package.

This is Qumar?

Yeah. That means
the total is 15

AMRAAMS, 50 M1-A1s,
ten F-15s, the two F-117

strike fighters, and
the PAC 3 missile.

There's no way
I'll remember that.

Can you send somebody
a memo?

Yeah.

This is in exchange
for a five-year lease...?

Ten-year lease
agreement.

The point is
that we've dotted the "I's"

and we're ready to announce.

I'll let C.J. know.

Let C.J. know,
but have her

pass it off to the DOD.

You want to bury it?

Not totally, but...
Passing it off

to another department
is usually our way of signaling

we don't want the public
to care about it.

I don't know.

Every time we make
one of these deals

with a place like Qumar

I feel the women around
here look at me funny.

I think you're probably wrong
about that.

You think it's just guilt?

Yes, sir.

Well, how should
I deal with guilt?

Be more like me.

Yeah, okay.

Anything else, sir?

C.J.'s going
to be cool with
this, right?

C.J.'s the one
you're worried about?

I'm just saying she
knows who the good
guys are, right?

Yeah.
Okay, thanks.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

What's next?

Josh?

Could I get five minutes
without being interrupted

by banality?

It's not banality.

It's the boss's wife.

Good morning, ma'am.

Good morning, Josh.

A little heads-up
wouldn't be out of line.

I said "Josh."

Yeah. What can I do
for you, ma'am?

I got a letter
from Amy Gardner.

Yeah, I was cc'd on that letter.

She seems pretty irate.
Amy Gardner's

always irate
about something.

I wouldn't give it
a lot of thought.

I happen to agree with her.

Me, too, and I think it deserves
a lot of thought.

I thought you might.

I was kidding.

I don't care.

The letter
was co-signed

by NOW,
the Women's Action League

and about ten women's groups.

I've got to go to
Vienna next week.

Honestly, ma'am, due respect,
I think they're overreacting.

We're talking about one word.

Isn't this one word
that dramatically alters

the effectiveness of the treaty?

I don't know how dramatically.

The current draft

says "forced prostitution."
Yes.

Excluding all other types
of prostitution

and sex trafficking?

Well, I suppose
that's for prosecutors to...

Well, Amy says that unless the
U.N. removes the word "forced"

it's going to be difficult
to prosecute at all.

You've spoken with her?

Yes. And I'd like you
to do the same.

God...

Really?

See? Now you're wishing
it had been banality.

Yes, I am.

Have a good day.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thanks for waiting.

Leo, you know everybody

but these are Drs.
Bedrosian and Califf.

This is Leo McGarry.

How you doing?

Fine.

And why are we here?

A herd of cattle
in Ogallala, Nebraska

was accidentally
given banned feed

and quarantined
18 months ago.

One of the
cattle showed

neurological damage.

It was unable to stand--
it's called a Downer Cow.

Tissue was sent
to the NVSL in Ames, Iowa

for the first round
of tests.

Another sample was sent
to the UK's

Central
Veterinary Laboratory.

And?

The first round
of Iowa tissue

showed a presumptive
positive.

Mad Cow?

We don't know that.

But we think?

We have to wait
for the UK tests.

Worst case scenario?

We declare
a national emergency

and a Class One recall

on all consumer beef.

Mr. McGarry, we've tested
over 12,000 samples

and none of them
have come up positive.

12,000 out of how
many nationally?

40 million
adult cattle.

Somebody needs
to teach me about this.

What's next?

We'll need a response
to Kendall's charge

in the Weekly Standard.

What did he say?

Our education
reauthorization bill

has more pork
than a pig-pickin' festival.

C.J.:
A pig-pickin'
festival.

( laughter )
Yeah.

More and more,
I'm in favor

of English being
the national language.

It's worth knowing

that Kendall's pushing
for four new charter schools

in his district,
one of which is...

Named after him?
Yes.
Thank you, Santa.

How about...?

It's pretty hard
to get at the pork

when the chairman's
hogging the trough.

And that's why he gets
all the great women.

What else?

You better be briefed
on the arms sale to Qumar

'cause the Pentagon
leaked it.

Qumar?
Yeah.

In the Gulf?

Is there another one?

No. We lease an air base
in Qumar.

It's a ten-year lease,
and it's up

and they won't renew
without an arms package.

You writing
this down?

No. When did we make
an arms deal with Qumar?

I really don't know.
What does it matter?

What does it matter?
Yeah.

What are we selling?

Don't start.

What are we selling?

What are we selling?

15 AMRAAMS,

50 M1-A1 tank kits,
ten F-15s

and Patriot missiles
for $1.5 billion

and they renew the lease.

Don't start?
What the he...?

Anything else?

ALL:
No.
Thank you.

REPORTERS:
Thank you.

This is
how it starts.

What?

Trouble. This is
how trouble starts.

Seat belts?

Contributory negligence
in a wrongful death

is the tort equivalent
of murder.

And aren't lawsuits
against the President

the tort equivalent
of insane?

Toby...
Like the guy suing
the President

to stop CIA-sponsored
radio transmissions
in his bridgework?

Yes.

Or the guy who's suing

to have the man from
the planet Xanadu

removed from
his front yard?

That's not local?
It's Federal.

There's the couple suing

for repayment of
all back taxes, ever,

because taxes are
unconstitutional.

Technically, they are.

Sam...
They're not.

And the bow tie manufacturer
from the garment district

who blames the falling market
on the fact

that the President
doesn't wear bow ties.

There's a reason the Civil
Division gave us a heads-up.

What?
This one could break.

One random comment,
and that's the ball game.

Thank you for coming
to Dodger Stadium.

You think murder
is going to overtake

education and health care
on the campaign trail?

No, you're right

'cause health care and education
are much sexier.

What are you suggesting?

That we come out right now
for a national seat belt law.

Wait, wait, better yet,

why doesn't he set up his
own checkpoint on I-95?

'Cause that's
impractical.

So is twisting
national policy
over a non-story.

It's not going
to be a non-story.

Are you talking to me?

No.

Hey.

CHARLIE:
Good morning,
Mr. President.

Did the Celtics win
last night?

Okay, when I say
did they win

you can just
say yes or no.

They got
pretty well crushed.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, sir,
I had a few minutes.

I'm not on you.
I'm just asking.

I'm making notes for a final
in Modern American History--

Consumer Movements
in Late 20th Century America.

Modern American
History sucks.

I had a hunch.

You want to
study history,
study the Crusades

the fall of the Roman Empire
from Theodosius to Justinian.

The Visigoths.

Damn right,
the Visigoths.

Modern history's
another name
for television.

Yes, sir.

Is there any
way I can help?

No, thank you, sir.

I'm a master of
modern history.

You can ask
me anything.

What year did we pass
the Clean Water Act?

I don't know.

Okay.

Good morning.

They said
you needed to see me.

Yeah.
What's going on?

I'm going
to tell you.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Hey.

Sir,
at this moment

we're waiting to hear
from the UK

on confirmation
of a test for Mad Cow.

Oh, man, they got it again?

No, sir,
I mean a U.S. case.

A U.S. case?

Yeah. Right now, it's what's
called a presumptive positive.

England will come back
with definitive results in...

How long?
In 72 hours.

Do we say anything
in the meantime?

That's my question.

That's why
you're here.

I think we have to.

I put the secretary
in the briefing room

with experts
from the University of Maryland

the National Cattlemen's
Beef Association.

They lay out the facts,
soften up the ground.

No. In three days,
we'll have our facts straight.

We can make
a full disclosure.

But meanwhile...

Meanwhile,
the USDA takes the time

for tracing, checking feed logs,
herd movements.

We don't know
how many herds

are going to have
to be quarantined.

We also don't know
how many people know
about this already.

Nobody knows.
There's at least
a rancher who knows.

The labs in Iowa
and England, the USDA...

They're our labs in Iowa,
and the rancher

doesn't have
any interest

in telling the world
his cattle are sick.

Yeah, we got to wait.

Sir...

The second we
say positive

beef futures
collapse

and we lose 3.6 billion
in beef exports;

fast food is deserted,
supermarkets pull beef,
it's panic.

I want to talk to
some more people

but in the meantime, we wait.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Want to see panic?

Hang on.

You want
to see panic?

Let the story break
on CNN.

Waiting buys us
time to get some
reassuring answers.

I don't know
how many more times

we can get caught
keeping a secret.

Sometimes that's what
we're supposed to do.

All right.

Thanks.

Listen.

Yeah?

Not for nothing,

but three weeks ago

a woman in Qumar
was executed for adultery.

She didn't need a lawyer,
'cause there wasn't any trial.

It was her husband's word
against hers.

Yeah.
Later today, I'm
going to be announcing

that we're selling them
tanks and guns.

Okay.

SECRETARY:
Amy should
be with you

in just a minute.
Thanks.

This is interesting art
on the walls.

A lot of very strong women
who could hurt me.

Only if you provoke them.

You know, I'm
sure she's busy
with something

very important, or she
wouldn't make you wait.

Special J.

Amy.
Thanks for waiting.

I was playing a little Nintendo.

( chuckles ):
Yeah.
I'm kidding-- I was

on a conference call.

You want anything?

Coke? Pepsi?
Shrimp cocktail?

Uh, no.

How you been?

Good.

Good.

You know what this is?

A map of global trafficking
in prostitution?

Yeah, you know
who drew it?

Amerigo Vespucci?

No, but that's funny, J.

It was your
State Department.

It's your State Department,
too, Amy.

Yeah, a little more
yours than mine.

Yeah, every time
you write a letter

to the First Lady,
she gets into gear

because she feels guilty
that she's not doing

enough for women.
She's not doing
enough for women.

What would you like?

I'm glad you asked.

Not half as glad as I am.

The current draft
of the document says

only forced prostitution
and not other types

of prostitution
is sexual exploitation.

Yes.
What about someone
who answers an ad

for an au pair and ends up
working a 15-hour shift

in a whorehouse, where they're
held hostage and can never pay

off their debt?
Yeah...

That's not the
worst case scenario.

The worst case scenario
was five days ago

when four 13-year-old
Thai girls were found

having hanged themselves
in an abandoned house

on Stonycrest Lane
in Bethesda.

Yeah.
Not halfway around
the world, Bethesda.

There were sheets
over the windows,

triple locks
on the doors,

no phones, handcuffs
hanging off the bedposts.

For the price of
a four-slice toaster

their parents had
sold them to work
as baby-sitters.

How is that not
forced prostitution?

I've got a whole
floor full of
lawyers who...

In the last, in the
last two years

100,000 women--
and by women
I'm including

girls who should
be playing with
Easy-Bake Ovens--

100,000 in the
last two years
were brought here

and forced to work
as prostitutes.

You know how many
of these cases
we've prosecuted?

Not enough.

250. You guys are about to go
to Vienna and make it harder

so, yeah, I dropped
the First Lady a note.

What the hell are those?

Those are balloon animals.

I'm sorry?

They're balloon animals.

I have nephews who
like balloon animals,

so I got someone
to teach me.

Are they abstract?

I'm a beginner.

We can't drop the word.

Why?
Because we're not

the only ones living
in the world.

Prostitution is legal
in Germany,

Turkey, the Netherlands

and if we alienate
these countries...

So, they don't sign the treaty.

The more countries who sign it,
the more effective it is.

The more toothless a treaty is,
the more toothless it is.

That's a permeating syllogism,
to be sure.

Hey, I'm not screwing around.

The women's vote isn't just
half your constituency.

It's the entire
margin of victory.

Who else you
going to vote for?
I don't know,

but in the meantime,
I don't think

you've appointed
enough women

to the Federal
bench, so...
Amy?

Yeah, we'll hold up
your other nominations.

I didn't burn
my bras, J.

In fact, I like my bras.

I ring your bell
when it's important.

All right.

Would you get back to me
before the end of the day

and let me know where we are?

Yeah.

Thank you.

The art around here scares
the hell out of me.

That's what it's supposed to do.

Good morning.
Thanks for waiting.

How are you, Toby?
Evan Woodkirk.

Good to see you.

Mary Klein.

And tell me why
I'm talking to you.

The Smithsonian
is opening an
exhibit marking

the 60th anniversary
of Pearl Harbor.

And why is that making
veterans unhappy?

Well, let's be clear.

The USF is a
very small group--
maybe 2,000 members--

and only 30 of them were
going to be attending.

They're not attending anymore.
They're boycotting.

It's not like we're

not going to be able to fill
those 30 seats at the opening.

We don't see it as a problem.

Well, the President's

speaking at the opening,
so, it's a bit of a problem

'cause these guys
aren't going to keep

their unhappiness
to themselves--

I don't care if there
are 2,000 or 20--

and I don't want the President

where there are
pissed-off veterans.

They have nothing to
be concerned about.

Tell me what they're
going to tell me

when I meet with them
this afternoon.
They'll tell you

they're troubled by
the commentary on the
propaganda posters.

Which is?

Sorry?

The commentary.

These were
fear-inspiring posters.

They were incredibly racist.

And you say so
in the commentary?

In so
many words.
Yeah?

Toby, "The Sowers"
portrays the Japanese

as hulking barbarians tossing
human skulls onto the ground.

How about the exhibit titled
"America's Vengeance?"

So you've reviewed
the material?

"Vengeance" is pretty
provocative, don't you think

especially when followed
by the burnt contents

of a child's lunch box?

Of course,
I've reviewed the material.

( knocking at door )

Excuse me,
I'm sorry.

Do you have
a moment?

Yeah.

I want you to get
with C.J. when you can.

Sure, why?

A lab in the UK is going
to let us know in 72 hours

if the first U.S. case of Mad
Cow is in Nebraska right now.

We got a presumptive
positive on...

72 hours?

Yeah.

We should keep it
to ourselves.

That's what I think.

C.J. disagrees
and the President
wants to hear more.

Okay.

Thanks.

Leo?

Yeah.

You know, the President's
being sued, right?

I'm sorry?

The President's
being sued.

Oh, the guy from the
Planet Zanzibar.

Xanadu, no.

The seat belts.

Yeah, I saw.

That's not going
to be anything.

The Washington Times
is running it

under "Bartlet Accused
of Contributory Negligence."

I didn't think The
Washington Times

could spell all those words.

Yeah. A29,
above the fold.

There's a fold
that deep in the paper?

Look, after three,
four, five days

it's going to be
picked up by the Post

and The New York Times.

Let's be ahead of it.

How?

We come out for
a national seat belt law.

National seat belt law's
never going to happen.

Why?

What's the most important
state in the primaries?
New Hampshire.

What's the most important
state in the general?
Michigan.

What's the only state without
a mandatory seat belt law?

New Hampshire.

And where do they
make the cars?

Fair enough.

Can I explore it?

In fact, go ahead and
knock yourself out.

Yeah.

It's bluster.

The appointments aren't
going to be held up.

At least not
by Lady Godiva.

Tell me she wasn't
bare-breasted,

at least outside
your imagination.

Yeah, no, she was, yeah.

I'm saying,
if she wants to front off

it's not like there's
a moral imperative

for the White House
to get behind... what?

Equity...

Equity in Insurance
Coverage for
Contraception

or whatever it is
the ladies want.

More money for sewing notions
and whatnot.

Suffrage, for instance,
and the right to smoke.

If she wants to throw heat

we can hold off a
few months' backing

for the Child Support
Enforcement Act.

But you don't
want to do that.

Of course, I don't want
to do that, Donna.

I'm a friend of
the working mom.

You want her to have
sewing notions.

I do.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Do you think it's possible
there's a broader point?

No.

Why?

What?

That leaving the word
"forced" in the treaty

condones consensual
prostitution.

That's ridiculous.

I'm saying it can
be spun that way.

That we condone
prostitution?

Yeah.

It can't be spun that way.

Okay.

You think it can?

I just did.

All right.

All right, would you check
if C.J.'s in her office?

Toby, it's not like
the entire exhibit
is anti-American.

Hang on, it's not like
any of the exhibit is
anti-American.

And I can't believe
I have to have

this conversation with
you, of all people.

Well, I don't know what
"me of all people" means, but...

Aren't you the
one always standing

by the NEA when...
I'm not.

This is different
from the NEA.

How?
It is.

For one thing,
the President's being asked

to speak, which is
the only reason I can have you

sitting here
in the first place.

Listen, uh...
something's come up

and I'm done,
if you're done, so...

We appreciate
your time.
I appreciate yours.

Can I call later today?

Please.

( sighs )
Yeah.

How you doing?
Fine.

So, I just came
from seeing Amy Gardner.

Yeah, how'd it go?

Well, I showed
her who's boss.

Who'd it turn out to be?

It's still unclear

but let me ask
you something.

The U.N. treaty, Vienna--

if we have
to make a to-do

about it being
"forced" prostitution,

isn't there a chance
it can be spun

that we're condoning
prostitution?

Yeah.

How much of a chance?

It'll happen.

'Cause Amy'll
make it happen.
Yeah.

Well, this is a
whole new thing then.

Leo told me.

Close the door.

Told you what?

C.J.:
Close the door.

There was a presumptive

positive on some cattle
in Nebraska.

What does that mean?

We have to wait
72 hours for a test.

Are you talking
about a disease?
Yeah.

You're kidding me.
No.

Mad Cow?
Yeah.

Oh, my God,
you're kidding me.

Really, no.

Well, I guess if
the door's closed,

we're not saying
anything yet.

Well, that's what we're supposed
to talk about.

What do you think?

You know, we have
an extra $1.5 billion

we weren't counting on?

What?

There's an extra
$1.5 billion.

In Qumar,
when a woman gets raped,

she'll generally get beaten

by her husband and sons
as a punishment,

so, at some point,
we should talk

about how to spend the $1.5
billion they're giving us.

Okay, so...

should we tell anybody?

This is where the
Federal Government

forces localities
to do stuff

but isn't at all
interested in
paying the bill.

Don't give me
their grumbles.

According to
Frank Segal

Danville, Virginia,
with a population
of 55,000

spent 13,800
staff hours

and $176,000

complying with the Americans
with Disabilities Act.

Are employees in wheelchairs

supposed to work
in the parking lot?

No, sir.

Segal thinks
it's unfair

that the Federal
Government...
Yeah, yeah.

How much would it cost
the Federal Government

to amend
the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act

to cover all unfunded mandates?

Tens of billions,
I would think.

Let's find out
for sure

and then tell Segal
to sit down and shut up.

Yes, sir.
Anything else?

No.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

So paint a picture for me,
would you?

We find the source
of the problem

which will be the feed.

We buy the cattle
and slaughter them.

How many?

Tens of thousands.

That's the live cattle.

What about the beef?

Well, FSIS'll do
a Class 1 recall

and get it off the shelves,
not that they need to.

Nobody's going to buy beef
for a couple of years.

That's a $150 billion industry.

What's the West going
to do for a living?

Well, this generation
of ranchers is done.

They won't get back
on their feet.

People have known
about this disease.

They're still eating beef
in record numbers.

That's 'cause it's been on
the other side of the ocean.

Once we announce
a positive,

steak houses are done,
fast food is done.

And then the corn
and soybean growers, right?

The dominoes don't end on this.

Any good news?

For fishermen.

So we've got frightened parents,
rising food prices,

public panic,
massive layoffs

and something we've never
worried about before--

we're wondering when the next
case is going to happen.

The most
costly disruptions?
Yeah?

Always happen when something
we take completely for granted

stops working for a minute.

Yeah.

( sighing )

Okay.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Oh, hey, do you know when we
passed the Clean Water Act?

No.

How could you
not know that?

My water's clean.
I don't ask questions.

What'd I just say?

I wasn't really listening.

All right.

Thank you.

Yes, sir?

Nope, nothing.

You sure there's
nothing you need?

No.

You know, Charlie...

Yeah.

...history can't be reduced
to dates and names.

Well, I'm pretty sure
this final can.

Nah, I'm starting you out
with a copy of the speech

George Perkins Marsh
used in 1845

to rouse the agricultural
community of Rutland, Vermont.

And then you're going to need
to study on the word "ecology"

as coined by the German
biologist Ernst Haeckel.

Am I being punished
for something?

It's better in the
original German, of course

but obviously the
translation'll be fine.

Good.

SAM:
Hey.

Sam.

Sam, how you doing?

Good, good. Thanks for
coming down. Come on back.

So, I got a funny joke
the President can do

about telling people
not to wear seat belts.

Well, he didn't tell people
not to wear their seat belts.

He should say, "Maybe
I should go back

to concealing
my health."

That's a good one.

He can use it
at the Rotary Club.

By the way, Josh Lyman shouldn't
make jokes about Rotarians.

They're good people.

He feels bad
about that.

They volunteer their time

even though nobody's
got enough of it.

He's going
to apologize.

I'm a Rotarian,
my dad's a Rotarian.

My dad's an Elk.

Elks are okay.

So, anticipating
this might become a thing

I wanted to float the idea
of a national seat belt law.

What's the Democratic
leadership going to say?

They're going
to say no.

Why?
First of all,
the Democratic

leadership doesn't
do damage control
for the President.

Well, you know, I think it's
about more than damage control.

Only 68% of drivers
are wearing their seat belts.

We get that up to 90%
and we save 5,000 lives a year.

And if we get kids
to eat their spinach

they'll be as
strong as Popeye.

We've done driver safety,
we've done food drives,

we've done
physical fitness.
Who?

The Rotary Club.
He really is going

to apologize, Tom.

Sam...

Look, secondary seat belt laws
don't work.

You can only fine someone

if you've stopped them
for something else.

Isn't it time for a tough law?

To make up for a bonehead
comment at a fund-raiser?

The governors don't like it.
It's Federalism run amok.

The governors don't have
a vote in Congress.

But the Congressmen do and they
won't vote for it, either.

Okay, well, then, it was

a shorter meeting than
I thought it was going to be.

Thanks.

You won't catch a Rotarian
not wearing his seat belt.

An Elk, maybe.

Yeah.

JOSH:
Yeah?
Leo's office
wanted you to know

that the OMB's going to do
a quick report

on expanding
unfunded mandates

and it doesn't mean anything,
but they're doing it anyway.

My tax dollars
hard at work.

I'll be at my desk.

Say, Donna,
you've worked
as a prostitute.
Yeah?

Let's just say.

Okay.

Why should what you do
be against the law?

Well, in this country,
you're not allowed
to buy and sell people.

You're not selling yourself,
you're renting out your body.

You're not allowed
to do that, either.

Don't fashion models
do it every day?

It's different.

It's only different
because we say it's different.

When you get a massage, isn't it
just a matter of degrees?

Lots of things are just
a matter of degrees.

Wouldn't legalizing prostitution
allow women to unionize and get

access to social services
and health care benefits

and create some control
over the industry?

You think if you make
prostitution legal

then prostitutes are going
to suddenly want everybody

to know they're prostitutes?

Hmm.

What?

The rare valid point.

I'll be back
on my street corner.

Okay, round two.

I'm Toby Ziegler,
I'll be your referee.

Toby, I'm Barney Lang,
National Commander.

We spoke on the phone.

Yes.

Please meet Ed Ramsey

and Ronald Kruckshank.

These are two

of our regional directors.

Welcome to the
White House.

RONALD:
Been here before.

My unit was invited
by Franklin Roosevelt.

That chair used to be
over there.

It's nice to meet you.

BARNEY:
Toby, before
we get started

could I hit you up
for a personal favor?

I don't think the President's
available for pictures today,

but I can check.

No, it's my buddy, Arthur Holly.

He's been in a wheelchair
'cause he lost his left leg

and the wheelchair
is falling apart.

We've been doing
a pretty good job
with duct tape,

but the guy could
really use a new one

and Medicaid is dragging
its feet on this.

Leave me his information
on a piece of paper.

I can make a phone call for you.

I appreciate that, son.
Thank you.

Okay.

Tell me the one point
you find most offensive

and would most like to see
pulled from the exhibit.

Well, there are
a number of points.

What's at the top of the list?

The sections
that have

the overreaching message

of a vengeful American
and a victimized Japan.

Well, you don't
want to ignore

the effects of the bomb.

ED:
We don't want
to ignore facts,

but in that particular case,

we don't agree
with their version of the facts.

The 63,000?

They say 63,000
American lives

would've been lost
if we'd invaded.

Marshall told Truman
that a ground offensive

would take the lives
of at least 250,000.

Well, there's some evidence
to suggest

that Marshall told Truman that

and some estimates
say 150,000.

Some say 268,000.

There are discrepancies.

I didn't see you there.

This is C.J. Cregg.

I'm Barney Lang.

Ed Ramsey,
Ronald Kruckshank.

Good to meet you.

Uh, you need anything?

I just came by to listen.

Before I forget,
I want to put you
three in a room

with the exhibit
directors from
the Smithsonian.

Can I do it today?

Sure.

Stay by a phone.

Okay.

Can I interrupt
for a second, Toby?

Yeah.

( deep breath )

Mr. Ramsey, I saw
on your information

you were in
the Tenth Armored Division.

Private First Class,
Tenth Armored Division,

Third Army,
Second World War.

You fought
in the Battle of the Bulge, sir.

Yes, I did. My
unit broke through

the German Seventh
Army's buffer,
which was critical

in winning Bastogne.

That was the moment

we beat the Nazis
on the Western front.

That was a hell of a moment.

( chuckles )

I have a granddaughter
like you.

She's a chemist.

Can I ask you
to imagine something?

I suppose.

Imagine if you weren't
as successful as you were.

Imagine, say,
that Hitler had taken Antwerp

and we'd lost the
Battle of the Bulge

and Germany held
the Western front.

BARNEY:
It wouldn't
have mattered.

The Russians crushed them
on the Eastern front.

They wouldn't have
won the war.

No, but even if the Russians

kicked them out of Poland,
Hungary, Bulgaria

they could've held on to France,
maybe kept Italy.

Certainly, they could've
defended Germany.

Yeah.
Now it's six
decades later

and while they didn't
conquer Europe

the Nazis exist
as a recognized government

in some small corner
of the European Union.

That would never have happened.

Really?

They killed a quarter
of my unit.

They killed a third
of my classmates

from Erasmus
High School.

We would never
have allowed...

We did it in Cambodia.

TOBY:
C.J., knock it off.

You're protesting
because you think

the Smithsonian isn't
paying proper respect

to what you and the soldiers

of the Tenth Armored,
Third Army,

risked and lost your lives
for six decades ago.

How would you feel,

in the hypothetical
I just described,

if I told you that at my press
briefing at the end of the day

I was announcing
that we were selling tanks,

missiles and fighter jets
to the Nazis?

Excuse me.

Step outside.

( door closes )

Look...

You know,
if I was living in Qumar

I wouldn't be allowed to say
"Shove it up your ass, Toby,"

but since I'm not,
shove it up your ass, Toby.

SAM:
Yes, sir.

You hear about the lawyer

who opened a chain
of dry cleaners?

Press your lawsuit
while you wait?

There was a better joke
in there someplace, right?

Probably not.

Sir...

Doctrine of
Sovereign Immunity.

You can't sue the king.

We brought it
over from England.

Yeah, but he's not immune

from the court
of public opinion.

Forgot to bring
that one over.

The RNC'll have
a press conference.

The RNC has a press conference
when I sneeze.

I think we need
to come out

for a strong
national seat belt law.

Congress won't pass it.

I'm not saying we
need to have the law.

I'm just saying we
need to come out for it.

It'll end the question
of where you stand.

People know where I stand.

If they don't know,
they can ask me.

You were governor
of New Hampshire, sir,

the only state...

And I was for it then.

I never did anything about it
because nobody wanted it

and, frankly,
why waste time and capital?

C.J. will get asked about
it at the 5:00 briefing.

I can't be responsible

every time somebody irrationally
twists my meaning.

People are responsible
for themselves.

Today's cars are safer
than they've ever been.

They've all got airbags,
they've all got seat belts,

and they're all crash tested
from here to Tuesday.

All that's left is personal
behavior and bad luck,

and I'm not responsible
for either one.

And, Sam, if Mrs. Landingham
was here right now

she'd say the exact same thing,

you know what I'm saying?
Yes, sir.

I don't blame this woman
for suing me.

I'm not a king
and I'm not sure

the law should treat me
like one,

though certainly for the moment
I don't mind.

I'm not blaming her.

She's got to go someplace
with her grief and her anger.

The ones who should be
horsewhipped with a horsewhip

are the ones exploiting
her grief for political gain,

and I'm not getting down
with those guys.

Yes, sir.

Let Congress pass that law,
I'll sign it.

Sir?
Yeah, let's go, get Leo.

Thank you,
Mr. President.
Thank you.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Isn't there a joke to be had
with lawsuits and dry cleaners?

I've been working
on it all day.

You've been working
on other stuff
though, too, right?

Yeah.

Good evening, sir.

Hey.

Okay.

Okay, what
do we think?

When do you tell the public
what you know?

I think it's right now.

And I think
it's when you
know something.

I think absolute
confirmation has
to be the rule

when we're talking
about public panic.

JOSH:
Are we sure

there's going to be
public panic

if we're only saying
there's a chance?

We think, maybe...

usually it's
negative.

I do, because we're not talking
about sushi, it's hamburgers.

I'm not kidding around.

It's these things,
the everyday things,

the everyday American things,
the 99-cent things,

that when you suddenly
have to be afraid of them,

strike at the center
of our equilibrium.

LEO:
I'll tell you what else.

Democrats--

not exactly loved by the beef
industry to begin with--

are going to get killed
for causing false panic.

Yeah, what we say now

is going to be measured
against the facts--

the consequences of which
will be far worse, if we

don't say anything and
it goes the other way.

I disagree.

Then pretend for a moment
the cow has MS.

No, I don't think I will.

Is something going on with them?

I think they can hear you.

They're standing
right in front of you.

That was a bad analogy,
I apologize.

What I meant was

that the public will not forgive
a President

who withheld information

that could've helped them
or saved lives.

Second, in a crisis,
people need to feel

like soldiers, not victims.

Third, information breeds
confidence, silence breeds fear.

That's my argument.

If it comes
from the President...

TOBY:
It shouldn't come
from the President.

It shouldn't even come
from the White House.

JOSH:
It should come
from Health and Human Services.

LEO:
Not the Secretary,
mid-level.

All right, that's
what we'll do then.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Thank you, sir.

Toby.

What's going on
with the Smithsonian?

It'll be fine, sir.

Where are you
leading them?

Not to turn a blind eye

toward the dark periods
in our history, for sure,

but I think there's
a time and place for that

and this isn't it.

You're changing.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

A very, very little bit.

Okay.

Mr. President, could you

point me in
the right direction

on something?

One of the vets
who was here

has a buddy whose
wheelchair's fallen apart.

Who can get something done
overnight at Medicaid?

Ah, Toby, we've got
to straighten out Medicaid.

Yeah.

You know,
after the Civil War

veterans had to come to D.C.
to get their pensions.

They had to visit the office
personally.

They waited for a clerk
to look through

all the Civil War records
until their papers were found.

Do you know what the papers
were bound with?

No.

Red tape.

That's where it comes from.

I didn't know that.

Go and apologize to C.J.
for whatever you did.

I didn't do anything.

Like that matters.

Thank you, sir.

What's next?

What?
You know, sir,
that story

about red tape and Medicaid
was interesting, but...

What?

Nothing.

I'm sorry,
you've got

economic advisors
in the Roosevelt Room.

It was interesting but what?

But the man just wanted
a wheelchair.

Toby's trying to get
him a wheelchair.

I forgot.
Yes.

Hey, I forgot, is all.

Get the information from Toby.

I'll make the call myself.

Maybe the guy can wheel
himself around on a book

by German biologist
Ernst Haeckel.

Get the information

and get the director of the CMSO
on the phone.

Yes, sir.

1972.

I'm sorry, sir?

Is when we passed
the Clean Water Act.

Thank you, sir.

You know nothing
about the Visigoths.

Yes, sir.

And I know everything.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

What are you
doing here?

I went up to your office
and they said you were here.

Eleanor Roosevelt

once made a speech
to the U.N. General Assembly

saying that we should
decriminalize prostitution.

Eleanor Roosevelt
was the one who
liked hats, right?

The Undersecretary for Global
Affairs and Regina Pierce

are going to sit with our
legal advisor at the U.N.

and look
at some alternative language.

I heard.

So.
Indeed.

That's right.

Are you walking me
back to my office?

How's making
prostitution illegal

not suppressing
women's rights?

How is making
heroin use illegal

not suppressing
a heroin user's rights?

It is, but heroin's
bad for you.

So's being a prostitute.

How am I not supposed
to call you a hypocrite

when you say
that the government

shouldn't tell women
what to do with their bodies?

Exercise some self-control,
I guess.

AMY:
Prostitution is
about the subjugation

of women by men for profit.

JOSH:
But the profit goes
to the women.

In some cases, but I know
of no little girl,

and neither do you,

who says, "I want to be a
prostitute when I grow up."

They do it because
they're forced to

out of financial
circumstances

and dire economic need
is a form of coercion.

But the guy who breaks
into my apartment

and steals my stereo
does it for the same reason.

And he's going to jail.

Yeah, because he broke
into my apartment

and stole my stereo

and nobody wants that
to happen to them,

but you can't say that
about the other thing.

( elevator bell dings )

J...

Forget for a second
that it's a women's issue.

The law isn't a deterrent.

Prostitutes advertise

in the Yellow Pages.

J...

Aren't we just serving
to create more criminals

in a criminal environment?

Josh.

Yes.

Why did you come here?

To tell you
about the thing.

The U.N.?

Yeah.

I'd heard.

I didn't know that.

Why didn't you call?

I'm sorry?

Why didn't you call me
on the phone?

Your office is
on the way home.

It's 5:00.

Yeah.

You go home at 5:00?

I just stopped by.

Are you dating
your assistant?

No.

I heard you might be.

I'm not.

She's cute.

She's my assistant.

Are you dating Joey Lucas?

No.

She's not your assistant.

I know.

You know the thing

with guys like you?

Why are we talking about this?

Because you stopped by.

I'm a visible guy--

people say things about me,
people write things,

and what I do
reflects on the President.

Nice save.

I didn't make that up.

Okay.

What's the thing
about guys like me?

Hmm?

What's the thing
with guys like me?

You want to get hit
over the head.

I have to go.

I'll see you.

Taxi!

What the hell...?!

It was a water balloon.

What are you, 15 years old?

You almost hit me in the head!

CAROL:
Folks, would you take
your seats, please.

The briefing will begin
in a few moments.

Please take your seats.

Hey, Nancy.

I understand you're troubled
by the arms sale.

The Nazis were
a bad analogy.

We're not fighting
a war with Qumar.

Well...

this isn't the point,
but we will.

Of course we will.

Of course we'll be fighting
a war with Qumar one day

and you know it.

So, well, at least
we'll be familiar

with the weapons
they're using.

We need Kalifa Air Base--

we refuel there
and we keep AWACS radar.

We don't need it.
It's convenient.

C.J....
We don't need it.

We've got Turkey.
We've got Bahrain.

We've got Diego Garcia.
Qumar's convenient.

Yes, it's convenient.

They beat women, Nancy.
They hate women.

The only reason they keep
Qumari women alive

is to make more Qumari men.

What do you want me
to do about it?

How about instead
of suggesting

that we sell
the guns to them,

suggesting that we shoot
the guns at them.

And by the way,
not to change the subject,

but how are we supposed to have
any moral credibility

when we talk about gun control,
and making sure that guns

don't get in the hands
of the wrong people?

God, Nancy, what the hell are we
defining as the "right" people?!

This is the real world and we
can't isolate our enemies.

I know about the real world

and I'm not suggesting
we isolate them.

You're suggesting
that we eliminate them.

I have a briefing.

You're suggesting that...

I'm not suggesting anything.

I don't suggest foreign policy
around here.

You are right now.

It's the 21st Century, Nancy,
the world's gotten smaller.

I don't know how we
can tolerate this kind
of suffering anymore,

particularly
when all it does

is continue the cycle
of anti-American hatred,

but that's not
the point either.

What's the point?

The point is that apartheid
was an East Hampton clambake

compared to what we
laughingly refer to

as the "life"
these women lead,

and if we had sold M1-A1s
to South Africa

15 years ago, you'd have
set the building on fire.

Thank God, we never needed
to refuel in Johannesburg.

It's a big world, C.J.

and everybody has guns.

And I'm doing the best I can.

They're beating...
the women, Nancy.

We have two birthdays today,
so we have cake.

One cake-- it's nice to share.

Quickly, before I take questions

a late addition
to Monday's schedule.

The President will be

at the opening
of the Smithsonian exhibit

commemorating
the 60th anniversary

of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

That's 3:00 in the afternoon

and I'll have more information
Monday morning.

Labor Secretary Carl Reed

will brief from this podium
in one hour's time

on our school-to-work initiative
and-- let me check--

yeah, while that's going on,
there'll be a briefing

at the Department of Health
and Human Services

by USDA Director David Reingold.

Sometime Tuesday, you'll be
briefed at the Pentagon.

The DOD will be announcing
that we've renewed our lease

another ten years
at the Kalifa Air Base in Qumar.

I understand they've promised
to paint and add new carpet.

A delegation from...

State and the U.N.
will be sitting down

to go over some last-minute
language for Vienna,

and, for that trip,
we'll have your schedules ready

middle part of next week.

Who's got questions?