All language subtitles for The.Freshman1990.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD2.0.x264-monkee.SDH

[***]

[EGG CRACKING]

[***]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Over there. Look.

Dwight.
Shh.

Dwight, don't.
Don't, really.

Hey, asshole!
What are you, nuts?

You can't see the cap?
It's not orange enough?

[GUNSHOT]

Get out of these woods!

I got a right to hunt here!
I got a permit!

If the guy's
got a permit--

Get out!

Let's go.

Clark:
That's Dwight Armstrong,
my stepfather.

Accent on "step."

He's a lawyer
by profession,

but he spends
most of his time

as head of the Friends
of Fish and Wildlife,

an extremist pro-mammal
group up here in Vermont.

Almost all of its members,
male and female,

look just like Dwight.

My real dad died
in a motorcycle wreck

when I was 6.
Two years later,

Mom hooked up with
Mr. Personality here.

It has not been
a barrel of laughs.

[***]

There was a certain
poignancy, though,

about today's
hunting party.

It was my last evening
at home.

Tomorrow I was off
to New York

to begin my first year

at New York University
film school.

A freshman, that was me.

My farewell dinner

was a typically raucous
and hilarious affair

full of warm,
good feelings.

There.
That should cover it.

CLARK:
Afterwards, Dwight gave me
$600 in spending money.

Thank you, Dwight.

And extended
a hearty handshake.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[GRANDMASTER FLASH'S
"NEW YORK, NEW YORK" PLAYING]

* New York, New York
Big city of dreams *

* And everything in New York
Ain't always what it seems *

* You might get fooled
If you come from out of town *

* But I'm down by law
And I know my way around *

* Too much
Too many people *

* Too much *

* Huh huh
Too much *

* Too many people *

* Too much
Heh *

* A castle in the sky
Is one mile high *

Where's the subway, please?
Downstairs.

That way?
That's right.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

* Miles of people
Marching up the avenue *

* Doing what they gotta do
Just to get by *

* I'm livin'
In the land of... **

Sorry.

Forget about it.
He's out like a light.

It's the shame
of the cities.

Are you all right?
Nothing broken?

Yeah, I'm okay.

That was some
nasty spill you took.

I'm okay.
You sure?

How about I help you
with those bags?

Oh, no, thanks.
I'm fine.

You're a smart kid.

Rule number one:

Don't let anybody
touch your bags

unless you know
that person

and can verify
he's been bonded.

Great. Thanks.

I happen to be bonded,
which is your good fortune.

WOMAN:
Aah! Get away from me!

Ignore her.

Who's this stranger talking
to me, you're asking yourself.

Well, it's Victor Ray,

general manager of the
Victor Ray Car Service.

You're going to college,
may I hazard a guess?

Yeah. New York University.
Good school.

Thanks. Do you know
where the subway is?

You don't want the subway.
Yes, I do.

Okay. It's over there.

Thanks.

Come on! Let's go!

VIC:
Here in New York we have three
distinct social classes.

A: People who make
a billion dollars a day

and get laid in
Trump Tower every night,

B: People who live
in Times Square,

and C: Guys like me,

guys I like to call
the glue of society.

We go, all hell's
going to break loose.

You're talking about
rich against poor.

We're right on the
brink here. It's seething.

Now, you come
with your Uncle Vic.

For $65, you get
an air-conditioned ride

and total peace of mind.

I can't afford that.

That's the new rate.

I'll take you
for the old rate of 50.

No. It's out of my league.

How much
can you go for?

Go for?
I don't know.

Let's say 40,
which is almost charity.

It's impossible.
Ten dollars I can manage.

Ten dollars? For complete
delivery and security

in a mint-condition
Bonneville?

Hey, I got to eat, too.
I can't do better.

It's okay. I'll walk
or take a bus.

All right. Ten bucks.
I'll take you for 10 bucks,

but on one condition.

Promise you don't tell anybody
I took you for 10.

Word gets out,
I'm finished.

I won't tell a soul.

Okay. Follow me.

I'm parked down the street
in a reserved spot.

Let's go. Come on.

VIC:
Watch out! Watch out!

Watch out.
Suicide attempt, right?

It's bigger than
I had imagined.

That's true
of so many things in Manhattan.

The other boroughs, too.
Don't get me wrong.

There's tremendous
things in Queens.

Go to the trunk.

It opens electronically
from the inside.

And make sure
you take everything.

You'd be surprised
how many people--

Wait! Whoa! Stop!

Stop the car! Stop!

Stop!

Stop the car, please!

CLARK:
I had been in New York
for 19 minutes and 11 seconds,

and I was already ruined.

MAN:
Action.

The roommate enters.

Come on in.

Come on.
Don't be afraid.

That's it.
Come right in.

I'm holding you
in a medium shot.

Lovely shot.
Very cinematic.

Listen, my name
is Clark Ke--

Little confused.

I like it. It sells.

You think in front
of a camera.

I like that in my actors.

I'm moving in now.

Hi. Is this
the right room?

Cut.

That's a wrap.
Check it, kids.

Kellogg?
Yeah. You're...

Steve Bushak.
How do you do?

Really nice to meet you.

I guess I should go
to the police now.

STEVE:
Clark, Kojak is
a fictional character.

No?
Don't involve the police.

So I'm just a victim.

Clark, everybody
in this city is a victim.

Welcome to New York.

Well...

I'm deeply moved.

Sir, I understand
your position. I'm just--

You cannot function
in Introduction to Film

without owning
Fleeber's Viewpoints in Cinema

and Selected Readings
in Cinema by... Fleeber.

I know those are your books,
and I want to buy--

They're not to be
thought of as my books.

They are essential reading

as are the dozen
other books you must own

which will cost
upwards of $700.

* Off we're gonna shuffle *

* Shuffle off to Buffalo *

* To Niagara in the sleeper *

* There's no honeymoon
That's cheaper *

* And the wheels go slow *

* Oh, oh, oh *

* Off we're gonna shuffle *

* Shuffle off to Buffalo *

* Wha-wha-wha **

I'm doing a paper entitled
"And the Wheels Go Slow:

Form and Function
in Forty-Second Street."

Oh. That would be
a very interesting idea.

Take a musical like that--

I suggest you call
your family for money.

No, that won't work.
My stepfather won't help--

This is out of Dickens.

You're robbed
by a street urchin,

you have a wicked
stepfather.

[AS GROUCHO MARX]
I don't know what to say.

I'm just trying to explain
that I can't get books now.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I'm your faculty advisor,
not your caseworker.

I'm only interested
in your academic career,

and may I say candidly
that you're off

to an extraordinarily
unimpressive start.

Well, I'm sorry,

but being new
to New York and...

[***]

Kellogg?

Excuse me. Uh...

I have to leave now.

Kellogg.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Excuse me.

Hey. Hey.

Hey!

Hey, wait up!

Stop him! Wait!

[***]

MAN:
Watch it.

I want my money
and my stuff now!

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

My money and my clothes,
or I call the cops.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

I know who you are.
Enough with this crap!

Where's my stuff?

Upstairs. Give me a hand
with the wagon, would you?

You must be joking.

Hey, the party's over.

I victimized you
in a moment of weakness,

and now justice is done.
So give me a hand.

You have my money?

Do you hear me?

Watch your step, kid.
The floors are wet.

If you don't give me
the money immediately--

I would love nothing
more than to do just that.

However, here we run into
an awkward moment.

Tragically,

I suffer from
a gambling problem.

I placed a wager
on a horse.

You lost my money
on a horse? All of it?

In retrospect, I'm not sure it
actually was a horse.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Clark, Clark, I swear,

it was a responsible bet.

It was a 4-to-1 shot.
We took a beating.

The good news is I still got
most of your clothes here.

I'm going
to the police.

Why are we discussing
the police?

You're a college student.
I'm a working man.

This has nothing
to do with the police.

Robbery's still a crime
in New York, is it not?

It's not legal.

It depends
on the circumstances.

Bullshit.

What if I got you a job?

An unbelievable
opportunity.

Oh, yeah.
You're just the guy.

I'm serious.
In fact--

No, no.
Forget about it.

What?
No.

It's irresponsible
of me.

So much money.

What is it?

I shouldn't even
offer you this job, Clark,

but you put me
in such an awkward position,

between my terrible
feelings of guilt towards you

and my family obligations.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm talking about
offering you a job

that I promised
my sister's kid.

It'd be perfect
for a college student.

Flexible hours,
big money.

My sister's
going to kill me.

She's going
to blow my brains out.

What kind of work is it,
stealing cars?

Hey, if you're going
to be a cynic here...

You expect me to trust you

after you drive away
with everything I own?

You don't have
to do anything.

I'm just giving you
a choice is all.

But if you want to make
some serious money,

be at this address
tomorrow afternoon at 2:00.

"120 Hester Street.
Old World Social Club."

Yeah. You'll be working
for my Uncle Carmine.

A great man.

He's the smart one
in the family.

[***]

Hey, look who's here.

Don't be shy, Clark.
Come right in.

I wasn't sure
if this was the place.

You're in the best
neighborhood in New York.

[GUNSHOT]
Uncle Carmine's waiting for you.

Here we go.

Over there at the desk.
That's him.

He's your uncle?

Yeah.
Do me a favor.

Don't say anything
about my gambling,

or I'll catch
a beating.

Eh, come va?

Lorenzo, come va?

I said, "how
are you doing?"

[LORENZO SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

"Very well," he says.
Hello there.

Lorenzo, this is my good
friend Clark from Kansas.

Vermont.

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

"My heart is filled
with much happiness

in meeting you,"
he says.

God almighty.

I know what you're thinking.
The resemblance, right?

I can't believe it.
He's the real thing.

When they saw him,
they based the movie.

So is he like
a Mafia guy?

No, no. Local businessman.
Importer. That's it.

What a kisser, huh?
Unbelievable.

Clark, this is my
Uncle Carmine Sabatini.

Uncle Carmine,
this is Clark--

Hey, you know, you never
told me your last name.

Kellogg.
Kellogg.

Just like the cereal.
Yeah.

Like the
breakfast cereal.

Your resemblance
to the Godf--

Clark, Clark,
have a seat.

CARMINE:
Pull up a chair.

Thank you.

How'd you like a nut?

CLARK:
No, thank you.

None for me,
Uncle Carmine.

Okay. Um...

Did you ever
try Italian coffee?

No.

How would you like
to try a little taste?

Yeah. Why not?
Good.

None for me,
Uncle Carmine.

Lorenzo...

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

"Two espressos," he says.

Mm-hmm.

You know, that picture
on the wall back there,

that wouldn't by
any chance be Mussolini?

It ain't Tony Bennett.

[ALL LAUGH]

Some of the older
members of the club,

you know, just, uh,
I don't know,

they keep it up
there for sentiment.

Sentiment?

Yeah, you know,
the old days.

For the old days.

For good or for bad.

It'd be like, for you,
I suppose, uh,

a picture of the Beatles.

Yeah. The Beatles.

They're actually
before my time.

Well, whatever.
You understand.

Sure. It's not
for political reasons

that you keep
the picture up.

No. No.
It's not political.

VIC:
No, it's definitely
not political.

My nephew tells me
you're from Kansas.

Vermont.

Uh, Vermont.
That's...

Six of one, half a dozen
of the other.

You know, the most
important thing is, uh,

we're all Americans.

That's right.

Yes, that's right.

Ah, good, Lorenzo.
Thank you.

LORENZO:
Grazie.

"Thank you," he says.

I know.

Now, this is, uh,
real Italian coffee.

It's not like
regular coffee.

It's, uh, you know
what I mean?

It's a little strong,

so we got to put a
little sugar in it.

It cuts the, uh...

Ah. It cuts the strength
of it, you know,

maybe a little more,
that's all.

All right.

Drink it right down.

One gulp.

Salute.
Salute.

[CLARK COUGHS
THEN MEN LAUGH]

CARMINE:
Puts hair on your chest.

Now, did, uh,

did my nephew
explain this job to you?

No. No, not really.

[WHISPERS]
I thought it would be best
for you to explain it.

This is not
complicated work,

but it has to be
done just right,

You know, like all things.
CLARK: Sure.

And, uh,
tomorrow at 1 p.m.

Outside the club
is going to be parked

a, uh, car...
What was that?

Sedan de Ville.

A Sedan de Ville.

That's a type of Cadillac.

It's a type of Cadillac?

Yeah, this is
a type of Cadillac.

Now, I want you
to drive this car

to the JFK cargo terminal.

There you're going
to pick up a package

addressed to Larry London.

You deliver this package
to Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

That's it.

How far is that?
Like, an all-day trip?

Nah. That shouldn't take you
more than three hours,

the whole trip,
back and forth.

That depends on the traffic.
VIC: You never know.

You could breeze
out there in no time,

or you could wind up
bumper to bumper

sitting with your dick
in your hand.

[LAUGHS]

Anyway, that's why I need
someone who can use their head,

that's not going to get upset,
emotional, nervous,

no matter what happens.
Understand?

Right.
I understand that.

For this service,
I'm going to pay you $500.

Five hundred dollars?
Mmm-hmm.

Now you see why
my sister's so pissed?

I mean angry,
besides herself.

You're going
to pull in a--

A grand a week at least.

A thousand dollars a week?
Yeah.

I'm going to need
two trips a week, minimum.

And then, of course,
if things get busy,

then maybe even more.

Jesus, I hadn't thought
of that much money.

I don't know.

You don't know what?

Now, wait.
Just hold on.

Let him think.

This is a sign
of intelligence.

He's trying to understand

what the nature
of this job is.

What are your thoughts
on this, Kent?

Clark.
Uh, sorry. Clark.

I have to
ask you something.

I don't want you
to take it the wrong way.

No, no, no.

Go ahe-- Go--
Anything. Go ahead.

I smell a rat.

You smell a rat.

Yeah.

CARMINE:
He smells a rat.
Ha-ha-ha!

That's right.

Ahh.

You know why
you smell a rat?

Because God gave you
a brain, that's why.

Because you're
asking yourself,

"Hey, Clark, what is this?

"A man will pay me
$500 a trip

to go pick up a package
and deliver it."

Is this what
you're thinking?

That's right.
That's what I'm feeling.

Well, this is natural.
Natural.

Great. So then
you understand.

Oh, sure.
I understand 1,000 percent,

of course.

Give me your hand.

[***]

You know what this is?

Do you mean
taking my hand?

We call this
the hand of friendship.

We?

Clark, you don't know
what this is,

the hand of friendship
from my Uncle Carmine.

I want you to take
this opportunity.

Totally legitimate work
for $1000 a week,

and I know you're not going
to disappoint me.

Well, I don't see
how I could say no.

This is not a yes.

[CRUNCH]

I want to hear yes.

[CRUNCHING]

Yes.

Yes.

Good.

That's good.
Now I'm happy.

I'm so happy.

But I don't know
why I'm so happy.

That's good.
Come on.

Everybody up.

Uh, Clark,

I want you to come to my
house in Queens tonight.

He's going to--

Yeah. You can
pick up the keys.

I'll give you
directions.

Yeah. You know,

I have such good
feelings about you.

I'm absolutely filled
with emotion.

I never had a son.

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

Fifteen years, I never saw him
take to anybody like that.

Never.

Senator,

we're both part
of the same hypocrisy.

But never think
it applies to my family.

All right. All right.

Some people have
to play little games.

You play yours.

So let's just say
you'll pay me

because it's in
your interest to pay me,

but I want your answer
and the money by noon tomorrow.

And one more thing.

Don't you
contact me again ever.

From now on,
you deal with Turnbull.

Open that door, son.

MICHAEL:
Senator.

You can have my answer
now if you like.

My offer is this:

Nothing,

not even the fee
for the gaming license

which I would appreciate

if you would
put up personally.

"Senator,

"my offer is this:

Nothing."

In that one moment,

Michael Corleone says that
all corruption is equal,

that there
is no separation

between politics
and gangsterism.

Now, in the Fleeber treatise
Guns and Provolone,

what point is made
about the similarities

between Karl Marx's
Das Kapital,

Immanuel Kant's Critique
of Pure Reason,

and the Lake Tahoe scene
from Godfather II?

Mr. Kellogg.

Sir.

You haven't read
the Fleeber piece?

Well, um...
[CLEARS THROAT]

You need tutorial help
from Mr. Bushak?

No, sir.

Perhaps Mr. Bushak
would enjoy

helping you prepare
a five-page answer

which I want on my desk
by noon tomorrow.

Mr. Glassman.

GLASSMAN:
In an evolving society,

violence and narcissism
replace ra--

Shut up!

I hate this guy.

[PIANO PLAYING "HEART AND SOUL"]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You're Clark.

Yes, I'm Clark.

I'm Tina, Carmine Sabatini's
only daughter.

Oh. I didn't know that he had
a daughter...only.

He does. I'm her.

Come on in.

Thanks.

This is quite a house.

It's very European.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Beer? Sprite?

Oh, no, thanks.

Jesus, look at that.

Wow. What a job they did.

Job?

Copying job. Yeah.

Down to the little cracks
and everything.

Oh, this isn't a copy.
This is it.

Right.
I'm very serious.

This has to be a copy,
okay?

Do you remember
about 10 years ago,

the original
toured the country?

It did?

They brought it over
from the Louvre.

Who?

I don't know who. "They."

It was in the United States
is my point.

And?

And it stayed here.

The one they shipped
back to Paris,

the one behind
all that thick glass

that all the tourists
take the pictures of,

that's the copy.

My dad thought
it was just awful,

such a masterpiece
behind all that thick glass.

And he had such a special
feeling for it

his whole life.

Sort of an obsession,
really.

So he ripped off
the Mona Lisa?

The day
it arrived here,

I was, like, 9. Heh.

My dad unwrapped it
out of this huge crate.

There was Styrofoam
and newspaper everywhere.

And suddenly...

there it was.

And he turned to me.

I'll never forget this.

And he said,

"Now I'm happy, sugar.

Now I got the Mona Lisa."

And it's safe
here in Queens?

Ha-ha! Oh, Clark.

Oh. Heh-heh.

People don't steal things
from my father.

They don't?
No.

[OVER SPEAKERS]
* Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa *

* Men have named you *

You want to dance?

Here?

Here.

It's kind of hot.

Take your sweater off.

* For that Mona Lisa
Strangeness *

* In your smile *

* Do you smile
To tempt a lover *

* Mona Lisa *

* Or is this your way *

* To hide a broken heart *

* Many dreams *

* Have been brought
To your doorstep **

So, my dad tells me
you're from Nebraska.

Vermont.

So what do you think
of New York?

I stopped thinking
24 hours ago.

I'm going
on pure instinct.

Well, that's what you're
supposed to do in New York.

[GROANING]

Is your father
in the house now?

No.

He's, um, in the Bronx
at some meeting.

Aunt Angelina.

My head's killing me.

I got to go to bed.

Oh, Aunt Angelina,
this is Clark.

Remember Dad mentioned?
Who?

Clark, the boy
who's working for Dad.

I'm going to bed,
watch the Jeopardy.

You come up, Tina?

After Clark leaves.

Good night,
Aunt Angelina.

Yeah, yeah. Night.

Dad's sister.

She moved in when
my mother died. I was 4.

I was 6.

Your mom?

No, my dad.

But it's never the same.

No, but what can you do?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I'll get you
the keys to the car.

I'm a sophomore at the College
of the Sacred Virgin.

Don't laugh. Next year
I'm switching to Harvard.

Harvard?

Jesus, that's
really something.

I didn't even bother
applying there

with my grades
in high school.

Not that they
were terrible.

My grades are
nothing special.

About a B minus.

So how did you get in?

Your boards must
have been monsters.

Oh, it's Dad.

He called Harvard
and said I wanted to go,

and they said,
"Oh. Sure."

Wait a minute.

Are we talking about
the same Harvard,

it's one that's in Cambridge,
Massachusetts?

Of course.

Harvard needs
my dad, you know.

If they don't want
strikes by the janitors,

or if they want the laundry
done and the gardening.

All those great old
trees and lawns.

But he's an importer.

Right?

It's great meeting you,
Clark.

A guy from Vermont,

real American,
New Englandy.

Hold on.

He's an importer.
Just tell me.

He's an importer, yes.

An extremely powerful importer.
There are such people.

So, what is it?
What is what?

What is it that
I'm picking up at the airport?

Hint: It's pretty big.

Bring someone
to help you out.

But what is it?

If Dad didn't tell you,
I can't really.

It's not going to be

like a dead guy in a box
or something, is it?

Ha-ha! Oh, Clark.

What an imagination.

Oh!

Ah, you're so
unbelievably cute.

I can't wait
to see you again.

I could just eat you up.

Good luck tomorrow.

[***]

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA]

You boys need me?

Are you Leo?

I am Big Leo.

It just says Leo.

We are the same:
Leo and Big Leo.

You're synonymous.

That's right.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

Okay, fellas.
Come with me.

You don't bring it out?

No. Not this I don't.

[***]

"Not this I don't."

Remember those words.

Not very encouraging.

Here it is.

All yours.

It arrived this morning
on the red-eye from Borneo.

[LIZARD HISSING]

I'm gonna puke
my guts out.

[HISSING]

What is it?

A lizard.

That thing is a lizard?
Yeah.

They call it
the Komodo dragon.

Makes its home
in Indonesia,

Sumatra, Komodo Island,
in point of fact.

By the way,
tell Mr. Sabatini

this cost him an extra
eight bills to get through.

Excuse me?
Just tell him.

He'll understand.
It'll be all right.

Sign here by the X,
"recipient."

That's me.

That's you.
You're the recipient.

Uh, put him in the back seat
with the windows open.

They got to have a lot of fresh
air. The gills or something.

He doesn't have
any gills.

Whatever.

That's what I was told.
Fresh air.

And make sure you
get a seat belt on him.

If he jumps on you...

[LIZARD HISSING]

You got major troubles.

Majortroubles.

CLARK:
Down, boy.

It's not a dog.
It's a--

Yeah, okay.
You know what?

Um, we got to
pick him up.

Ha-ha! Pick him up.
Yeah.

With what?

Uh, with our hands. Here.

It's not that bad, you know?

I agreed to help. I'm not gonna
put my life in danger--

You gotta
help me out here.

I'm sorry, but I refuse
to handle it.

CLARK:
He's going under the truck.

STEVE:
All right.

Here, get the door.

I can't. You locked it,
remember, genius?

Right. Okay. Um...

Oh, will you take him?
What?

Just take him
for a second.

You're the recipient.

Hurry.
If he stains my suit,

I'm going
to be pissed.

Could you take
any longer with this?

Okay. All right.

Okay. Uh...

All right.

Okay, now,
you go around

and get in
the other side.

Major trouble.

Okay.

Okay, um...

We gotta put
the seat belt on him.

You're joking.
No, I am not joking.

This is obviously precious
cargo, this freaking thing.

Hey, come on.

Whoa, whoa.
What seat belt?

Put him in this one.

Okay. Got it.
Seat belt.

Get this under his armpit.

What armpit?

This is a lizard armpit.

Put it right in.

Oh, thatlizard armpit.
I see. I didn't realize.

You know...

[HISSING]

I think he's okay.

Let's go.

Okay.

Happy as a clam.
Okay.

[ENGINE STARTS]

I'm dying. Close the window.
Turn on the air conditioner.

He said leave them open.

Who, Haystack Calhoun?

What is he, a zoologist?

I'll take full
responsibility.

All right.

[***]

CLARK:
I told you he'd throw up.

Ugh. God!

My apologies. I got to open
the window. The stench!

It's murder.
[LIZARD GURGLES]

You feeling better now?

Tummy ache all gone?

God, it stinks in here.

I can't stand it.
We gotta wash it out.

Pull over to
the gas station.

All right.

Excuse me. Hello?

Uh, I need
some water, a hose.

Yeah, around the corner.
Help yourself.

Thanks.

It's this way.
It's around the back.

[***]

[SCREAMS]

[LIZARD HISSING
AND MAN SCREAMING]

Clark?

[WHIMPERING]

[***]

He went under a car.

You go that way.

[***]

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON PA]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[LIZARD HISSES]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[HISSES]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
Will the owner of the reptile

please report to
the information booth.

[ALL SCREAMING]

Will the owner
of the reptile...

Oh, my God.

What if I can't find him?

Look. Leave the country.
Five, 10 years, you come back.

You're kidding.
I'm serious!

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

[***]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
Security to Concourse B.

Security to Concourse B
immediately.

[CHILDREN SCREAMING]

[CROWD SCREAMING]

[***]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

Okay. Go.

[ALL SHOUTING]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
Will the owner of the reptile
please report to information.

Slowly.

I'm losing him.

Okay. Okay.

Ouch.

Hey. Hold it. Yes.

I'm--
I'm really afraid now.

[LIZARD HISSES]

Mr. London?

Edward?

Oh, look!

It's here.

Finally.

Are you Edward?

I am.

Oh, what a beautiful
specimen.

Has this bad boy
been swimming?

Gee. We wouldn't know.

We came right
from the airport.

They just love
swimming pools.

But, uh...chlorine.

[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]

I told him he is very
disobedient dragon.

For joke.

[CHUCKLES]

It's a good joke.
It's very unusual.

Well, without humor,
what do we have?

[ANIMALS CHIRPING AND GRUNTING]

Beautiful, yes?

This is like a zoo?

This is like a zoo.

Wow.

Can you believe this?

[SQUAWKS]

CLARK:
So, what do you, like
exhibit rare animals?

EDWARD:
On occasion.

Who are these boys?

Carmine said one boy.

Here are two.

Young men,
this is Mr. Larry London.

Mr. London,
I'm Clark Kellogg.

Carmine said one boy.

Here are two.

Well, I realize that, sir.

Yes, we are two boys,

as you quite rightly
point out.

However, since I'm
somewhat new to the area,

and, uh, this parcel,
this particular parcel

was quite bulky.

So at the suggestion
of Tina--

Ahh. Die schone Tina.

The beautiful Tina.

LONDON:
Die schone Tina**

Yes, the beautiful Tina.

Again, sir, if there was
any misunderstanding,

I certainly apologize.
Carmine said one boy

and here are two.
Heh-heh-heh.

You gotta like
this guy.

Smells like basil.

Very good.

A cream basil sauce.

Oh, so you're
actually a chef.

I wasn't clear
what you did.

And now you'll
get your money.

The money...

The money is conveyed

in a brown paper bag.

Not very attractive,
I know.

Oh, that's fine, sir.
No problem.

If it is in your nature
to count it,

I will not be offended.

That won't be necessary.

I certainly trust you
and Mr. Sabatini.

[SINGING IN GERMAN]

That means "My heart
swims in blood."

Yeah.

[GROWLING]

I believe that's
a Bengal tiger,

ladies and gentlemen.

Something is way off.
Way off.

[TIGER GROWLING]

MOTHER:
How are you, darling?

How's New York?

Oh, well, I miss you too,
like crazy,

at the risk of sounding like,
you know, a mother.

No, he's asleep,
thank God. Why?

Well, um, the thing is,
I got this job.

Will you listen?

New York is
unbelievably expensive.

I had to.

Well, mostly
involved driving,

and, um,

picking up this reptile.

What kind of a reptile?
Clark, I don't--

CLARK [OVER PHONE]:
It's a Komodo dragon.

MOTHER:
Who? Komodo d-dragon?

CLARK:
You never heard--

MOTHER:
No, I never heard of it.

CLARK:
Would you mind looking it up?

What?

Komodo.
Is that with a "K"?

Right.

"Koalamundi...

"Kodiak...

Komodo dragon."
Here we go.

"Latin name is
varanus komodoensis.

"Main prey are
deer and wild pig.

"There are seven dragons

in zoos outside Indonesia."

Oh, my God.
What?

Oh, Clark!
What?

"Chances for survival
are considered hopeless."

Clark,
it's an endangered species.

CLARK:
Oh, my God.

Are you sure
about this, Ma?

MOTHER:
There's a red asterisk
next to it,

which means
virtually extinct.

Clark, what is this job?

CLARK:
Ma, never mind.
I'll quit...

The Komodo dragon.

CLARK:
No, don't worry.

Obviously, I didn't know.

[***]

That's him.

You sure?

Absolutely.

That's
Dwight Armstrong's stepson.

Unbelievable.

[CAMERA CLICKING]

Ah, buon giorno.

Ah, buon giorno.

Is Mr. Sabatini here?

Yes. Come in.

Thank you.

CARMINE: Charlie, wait a minute.
Grazie.

CARMINE:
General Motors went down
10 points,

and you didn't call me? Huh?

Ah. What about Polaroid?

It went down?

Down one.

Hey, Charlie.

Charlie,
I told you before.

I don't like it
when they go down.

You know, I used to have
another broker,

and he bought stocks for me,
and they went down,

and I got very unpleasant,
Charlie.

Very unpleasant.

So, wait a minute--
That's right.

That's right. So the next
time you call me,

I want to hear good news.

Right?
That's only good news.

I must be getting soft.

I don't know--
Business.

You know, the business
in this country

is run by children.

It's not men.

It's uh...
Ah, anyway. Forget it.

How about a nice espresso?

No, thank you.

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

Sir,
I have to talk to you.

You know, I'm going
to tell you something.

Just before Larry London
called me,

he starts talking
about you.

He couldn't stop
talking, talking, talking.

You know,
went on and on.

[CHUCKLING]

Seems like a very
interesting man.

I heard you had
a little adventure

in the mall there.

Oh, you did?

Of course.

[LORENZO & CARMINE
SPEAK IN ITALIAN]

So, all right, Clark.
What's on your mind?

I have to talk
to you.

It's about these--
Thank you.

It's about these animals,
these reptiles.

Yeah. What about them?

They're endangered.

Not anymore.

They're in Jersey.
They'll do fine.

No, no.
It's against the law

to take them
into this country.

It's a crime.

Now you're
speaking generalities.

You assured me my work here
was completely legitimate.

What are you talking about?
It's perfectly legitimate.

No, it's not.

I'm illegally transporting
endangered species.

Please, sir,

I'd like
to be let out.

Wait a minute.

This is an impossibility.

What do you mean? Why--
Look, Clark,

I have a certain standing
in the business community.

Now, how's it going to look?

Some college kid going
to make me look like a fool?

I mean,
this is humiliation.

It's infamia.

You know what people
are going to start saying?

What's wrong with him?

You understand
what I'm talking about?

I would never
tell a soul.

I mean, it wouldn't
leave this club.

Wait a minute.
I only mean that--

Are you trying
to hurt my feelings?

No!

No, no, no.
That's not the issue.

Listen, I'm going
to tell you something

from my heart.

You're a great boy.
You are one-of-a-kind.

Thank you.
No, really.

The kind of kids
I had working for me--

The mooks, the muscleheads,
the...

But you,
you're from Connecticut.

It's nothing personal.

It has nothing to do with you.

Well, in any discussion
about our relationship,

we're not going to forget about
the most important thing.

Which is?

You're marrying
my daughter.

You should have heard
Tina last night.

Clark this, Clark that.

Daddy, daddy.

She wants to
get married yesterday,

but you got to wait
till spring.

You can't plan
these things overnight--

The food, the place,
the time of year,

who to invite, who not to
invite. That's important.

You got to figure,
well, let's see,

my business
associates alone,

must be 2000 people.

And I'm not even talking
about the senators,

the congressmen,
the judges.

And don't forget
the police department.

But you know, love.
Love. Heh-heh.

Love doesn't ask
these questions, am I right?

Yeah. I guess.

Come here.

I want you
to come outside.

I got a little
surprise for you.

Come on. Come on.

Sir, I don't know where
this talk of marriage began,

but I'm really
not ready.

I'd really like
to sample life a little first.

Wait. No, wait.

After you get married,
you sample life.

I mean,
this is what men do.

Marriage is
an institution.

It's the bedrock
of society.

What you're talking about
is a little va-voom...

You know, it's...

This is self-understood.

But what I'm talking about
is social order.

Try to put yourself
in my position.

I wish I could,
Clarkie.

You're such a beautiful boy.

You know why
I'm so nuts about you?

I don't, no.
I'll tell you.

Because you're
not a snake.

You come down here
to my club,

you open
your heart to me.

You say whatever's
on your mind.

That's how I know

you're not
going to be a snake.

A snake in the grass.

That's how I know you're
going to be loyal to me

until death.

Until death.

Like a real son.

Oh, I don't know.

The son I never had.

[***]

CARMINE:
Come on.

I got a little
engagement present for you.

It's not much,
but it's from my heart.

This is for me?

Who's the luckiest guy
in the world?

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Take it for
a little spin.

Go pick up Tina.
She's waiting for you at school.

I--
Ah.

No, I understand.
I understand.

Sometimes in life

these emotions
are beyond--

Beyond words.

Go ahead. Vic.

Hey. Buona fortuna.

College of the Sacred Virgin
in Queens.

Let's move it.

He kissed me
on the mouth.

You know how big this is?

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

The kiss of all kisses.

That's the highest!
You're in now for life.

It's like we're brothers.

God bless you and keep you.

Anything goes wrong
with that car, you call me.

We'll get you another one.

You have fun.

[***]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[***]

Say when.

When.

[***]

Screw this.

[HORN HONKS]

[HORNS HONKING]

Turn right.
Turn right! Right!

[***]

He's parking?

Hello!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Whoa!

[RADIATOR HISSES]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

MAN:
We need an ambulance.

TINA:
I want this to be
the perfect wedding.

Very traditional...
CLARK: Tina.

Old-fashioned--
CLARK: Tina!

Oh, hi, Clark!

CLARK:
Hi. We have to talk.

This is Father Frank
of the music department.

We were just discussing
music for the wedding.

I was thinking of
"Ave Maria" for the--

I see.
Would you excuse us?

Of course,
and congratulations.

Thank you, Father.

You're hurting my arm.

Well,
I'm a little tense.

I was just
in a high-speed car chase.

And?
And? No "and."

Maybe these things are part
of your everyday life,

but not mine.

There are people
after me now.

Obviously,
I have to get away.

Don't be ridiculous.
It's part of a working day.

It is not part
of a working day.

Listen, you made
a commitment to my father.

Nobody forced you.

This is beyond commitment.
This is like slavery.

People telling me
who to marry!

You don't want
to marry me?

I don't want
to marry anybody.

Not yet.

Oh, so we'll wait.

We don't have to rush
into anything, darling.

As long as you're
waiting for me,

and you're part
of the family,

which you are now,
permanently.

What is with this
permanently?

Your father kissed me
on the mouth.

Vic tells me
I'm in for life.

You are.
I'm not!

It's all a fluke.

I got ripped off by
this guy, this Vic,

and I caught up to him.
What?

You think it
was an accident

that you, quote,
"Caught up to him."

You were chosen, Clark.

You were hand-picked,

and it is like
the greatest honor.

What are you
talking about?

My Cousin Vic
has always had

great instincts
about people.

He saw you where?
Grand Central?

It was all a setup
from the beginning?

Setup is so negative.

There are so many
levels to this thing.

I just want my life back!

I can't talk to you
when you're so hysterical.

What is the deal,
please?

Am I some dupe?

They looked through
the Putney Yearbook

and said,
"Oh, here's a chump"?

Are you serious?
A dupe?

You think I'd
be marrying a dupe?

Everybody's talking
about the job you're doing.

It's all over town.

Larry London
called my father.

Said how bright
you were,

how gentle,

how perceptive.

If you weren't
all those things,

do you think Vic
would be out this afternoon

getting you
a gun permit?

A gun permit?
I don't need a gun permit!

You have to have one
if you carry a gun.

Clark, people
are chasing you.

That's quite a story.

Charming.

Well, I can't take
it quite so lightly.

No. It has a real
film noir quality.

Smuggling lizards
into New Jersey.

I mean, if it was done right--
Black and white,

grainy, sort of
a Kiss Me Deadly feeling.

It's not a film idea.
It's my actual life.

Life and art are one and the
same when perceived through--

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Clark Kellogg.

Mr. Kellogg,
I'm Chuck Greenwald.

This is Lloyd Simpson.

We're from the Department
of Justice,

Fish and Wildlife Division.

We've been
trying to reach you.

This is what I've
been talking about.

I know nothing about it.

We were simply discussing
a film project.

Oh, God.
I'm running late.

Excuse me, please.

Mr. Kellogg.

[***]

So this is actually
a federal office?

We're undercover,
Mr. Kellogg.

Special agents.

CLARK:
Well, I think I better
contact a lawyer.

That's your privilege.

You have a lawyer?

My stepfather,
I guess.

What?

Your stepfather
turned you in.

My stepfather?

How the hell did
he know about this?

Mr. Kellogg,

I believe you know
a Carmine Sabatini,

also known as
Jimmy the Toucan.

Toucan I never heard.
My stepfather? My own--?

Do you know
a Mr. Hans Kurt Schlegel,

alias Larry London?

Well, we've met.

I wouldn't say
that I know him--

These men are fiends!
And it's up to you

to stop their
unspeakable activities.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Mr. Kellogg, you
ever heard mention of

the Gourmet Club?
No.

Sabatini and Schlegel

established the Gourmet Club
operation in 1985.

It's a movable feast,

never the same
location twice.

Dinner is served
every three to six months,

depending on the catch.

There are no prices.

The minimum price
for eating at this club

is $200,000 per plate.

For dinner?

Not just dinner,
Mr. Kellogg.

The entire menu consists of
endangered species.

They cook these animals?

They cook
these animals, yes, sir,

for an international
clientele of degenerates,

scum, Euro-trash.

And people pay $200,000
to eat these animals?

SIMPSON:
Minimum.

GREENWALD:
The more endangered
the species,

the higher the price tag.

If there are five or less
in the world,

the entree goes up
to half a million.

For the privilege of eating
the last of a species...

A cool million.

We figure the dragon will go
for about 350 a plate.

It'll be served
off the bone

with a cream basil sauce,

that's Schlegel's
trademark.

If they fillet it--

Schlegel likes to fillet,
we know that.

They can get 60 servings
out of one dragon.

That's a $20 million haul.

I don't believe
Mr. Sabatini would do that.

Who do you think he is?
Bishop Tutu?

I don't believe he'd do that.
Believe it!

I want Sabatini before they
serve that poor animal.

Tell us where they're
going to serve it, and when.

You're asking me
to be an informer.

Be an informer or you're looking
at two years in Leavenworth.

You'd lock me up
for two years?

I sure would,

unless you give us
the old man.

Well, I got to
think about it.

[CHATTERING IN ITALIAN]

MAN:
Mr. Sabatini.

Buona sera, Theresa.

[***]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[***]

CLARK:
There's a kind of freedom
in being completely screwed

because you know things
can't get any worse.

Clark, you can't
just split.

Really?
What would you do?

I would probably turn
him in and hate myself.

You could do that?

I don't know.

I'm looking
for Clark Kellogg.

Is he in one
of these rooms?

He's here.

Come right in.
Yes, he's here.

Oh.

Buona sera.
Buona sera.

Clark mentioned
something,

but I had no idea
that the resemblance--

This is Steve Bushak,
my roommate.

This is Mr. Sabatini.

I was wondering
if, uh,

you could
leave us alone?

I want to talk
to my son-in-law.

I-- I'd really like to stay.
Huh?

I'll be quiet as a mouse.
No, no.

If you could
leave us alone,

I'd really appreciate it.
Say no more.

I'll get shoes
and be on my way.

Could you do that
outside? I have some...

Outside?
I always do that.

Uh, yeah.

It's nothing.
It's nothing.

Go ahead.

Sit down, Clark.

I want to ask
you something.

You followed me,
didn't you?

Followed you?

Yeah.

A little bit
this evening.

You know, Clark,

I know when
somebody's following me.

I left the club, and you
were around someplace.

On the street,
in a doorway.

Someplace.

Because I feel these
things, you know?

Is this true?

Yes.

I had a lot
on my mind.

No, no. You don't
have to explain.

This-- You know...

Looks like you're
ready for bed.

Soon.

Clark, want me to read
you a bedtime story?

Sir?

You know,
Tina used to love

Curious George
the monkey.

Every night I told
her a different story.

Curious George goes there.

Curious George
goes there.

Yeah, she knew them
all by heart.

I think that my real father
used to read me those.

Who was the guy
who, um,

used to take care
of Curious George?

His keeper.

Oh, yeah. You mean the Man
in the Yellow Hat?

The Man
With the Yellow Hat.

Jesus.
[CHUCKLES]

Is this, uh--
Is this your real dad?

Uh-huh.

And that's me
when I was 3.

I was 6 when he died.

Motorcycle accident.

What kind of business
was he in?

He was a poet.

He taught English
at the Putney School.

You know any
of his poems?

A few of them.

Could you tell me one?

One of his poems?

Yeah.

I mean, just tell me
a little short one.

There's one
that I like called

"A Doorway
on Boylston Street."

You know, in Boston?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, it's...

It's been a while
since I did it out loud.

All right.

There's a certain doorway
On Boylston Street

That I passed by on foot

Suited and shod,
One of many each Tuesday

Toward lunch
With a certain woman

Regarded each Tuesday

By the perfect turning gaze

Of a white Persian
Regarding me, lovebound

Sped by desire

And returning to
The certainty of his fur.

This...was a cat
on the doorway?

Yeah.

"The certainty
of his fur."

You liked it?

I like it very much.

Very much. I like--

I like especially the fact
that you remember his poems.

Well, you know, that's all
I wanted to say really.

And if there's, you know,
anything you have to tell me,

I, uh...

I know that you will.

Yes.

You know, Clark,

you told me before that
you wanted to quit your job,

and if that's what you want,
it's all right.

I'm going to miss you,

but, uh...

It's all right.

Now, get a good sleep.

Well, good night.

[CHUCKLES]

So this is college.

I didn't miss nothing.

[ALL CHEERING]

[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]

MICHAEL:
There's a plane
waiting for us

to take us to Miami
in an hour.

Don't make a big
thing about it.

I know it was you, Fredo.

You broke my heart.

You broke my heart.

[WHISTLES]

"It was you, Fredo."

A moment of epiphany.

Michael Corleone kisses his
brother full on the lips,

an astonishing image,

at once suggestive of love,
inversion, power.

And in this world of duplicity
and corruption,

is there anything finally
more important than loyalty?

No.
FLEEBER: To friends, to family.

[MOUTHS]
What?

FLEEBER:
And who deserves
our loyalty?

Yeah?

Sir, I just need Clark Kellogg
for a second.

Oh, you just need
Clark Kellogg for a second?

And why, may I ask,
is it so urgent?

I'm Carmine Sabatini's
daughter Tina.

Jimmy the Toucan?

Nobody really calls him that.
Clark?

Just one second,
I swear.

Up, up, Mr. Kellogg.

I'll be right back.

FLEEBER:
No hurry, Mr. Kellogg.

I'm really
quite impressed.

[WHISPERS]
Jimmy the Toucan?

Yes, he's quite
a remarkable person.

FLEEBER:
Yes, I'm sure he is.

Can I meet him?

I'd say that's a long shot.

Ah.

My father thinks that
Clark is an A student.

Yes, he's a very
fine young man.

An A student, that's what
my father said.

Yes, absolutely.
A. A-plus.

Have a wonderful time.

Give my best
to your dad.

Jimmy the Toucan.

Are you out of your skull
threatening Fleeber?

Hey! I was
helping you.

Well, I don't need
your help here.

Fine. So I won't.

Where are
we going anyway?

Huh?

[OVER SPEAKERS]
* I wanna be around *

* To pick up the pieces *

* When somebody
Breaks your heart *

* Some somebody
Twice as smart *

* As I *

* A somebody who *

* Will swear to be true *

* As you used to do with me *

Vic waved.

That's nice.

* That misery loves company *

* Wait and see... **

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

Everybody skate. Come on.

VIC:
Right, left.
Right, left.

Sir, we have to talk.

Pull them off.
We got to talk?

Yes, yes, we do.

I have important
things to bring up.

Do you have the clothes?

They're in
the locker room.

CARMINE: Get the clothes...
Sir.

change, and then you'll
drive us out.

Pull them off.
Drive where?

We're going to
the Gourmet Club.

This is Friday.

Sir, I have to talk
to you first.

We'll talk in the car.

You promise?

Every word I say,
by definition, is a promise.

Come on.

[***]

CLARK:
The idea of driving
a Porsche

had always been appealing
to me until now.

CARMINE: Do you read Newsweek?
CLARK: Sometimes.

I'm very, very worried
about this ozone business.

I'm-- I'm really
very concerned.

Sir, I have to
talk to you.

Yeah, I know.

You wanted to talk
to me last night but couldn't.

It'll take you
about a day.

CLARK:
There's federal officers
after me.

Did you get
their names?

Greenwald and Simpson.

They'll put me in jail
for two years

unless I led them
to the Gourmet Club.

No. They're not going
to send you to jail.

They're not?

No, they're going to
blow your brains out.

DWIGHT:
I just want to say

you gentlemen have done
an outstanding job.

Thank you.

We appreciate it.

These two guys work
for the Bonelli family,

and they work
out of South Amboy.

Not for
the government?

They do work
for the government,

but they're on the take
from the Bonellis.

Staggering, isn't it, Clark?
The corruption.

Yeah,
the corruption is...

Look at him driving
around with mobsters.

A college kid.
Very upsetting.

So, these guys are after
you for the Bonellis,

and they just used me,

and once
they get you...

They're going
to hit you.

Oh, my God.
This is terrible.

Well, that's
the way it's done.

I'm sorry I got you
into this mess, but...

You're in it,
and we'll get you out of it.

My God.

CLARK:
He had a way out.
A high-risk plan

designed to entrap
Greenwald and Simpson

and get him out

of the endangered
species racket forever.

Hint: It involved using
me and the lizard as bait.

This was to be

the final dinner
of the fabulous Gourmet Club.

Tequila!

[BAND PLAYING "TEQUILA"]

MAN:
Ladies and gentlemen,

your co-host for this evening,
Mr. Carmine Sabatini.

[APPLAUSE]

MAN:
With Carmine are
his beautiful daughter, Tina,

and her fiancé
Mr. Clark Kellogg

from the great
State of Montana.

Let's have
a nice Gourmet Club welcome

for Carmine
and the happy couple.

[MUSIC RESUMES]

Carmine.

Tequila!

Want to hand me that,
please?

Hans.

Carmine.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is the moment
we've all been waiting for,

the moment that makes
the Gourmet Club

the special place
that it is.

Our main course,
served for the very last time

on this our planet Earth,

your Komodo dragon.

* Oh, there he is *

* Your Komodo dragon *

* Yes, there he is *

* One of eight of them *

* With so many species *

* He took the town by storm *

* With his continental
Taste and charm *

Go into this corn field.
It's deserted.

MAN:
* Moments from the end *

* He is *

* Your Komodo dragon *

Good.

I'll take a Rob Roy
with a twist.

Diet Coke.
Diet Coke.

Did my uncle bring
you up to date?

Yeah. We're going to be killed
by Greenwald and Simpson.

They're part of the Bonelli
family out of South Amboy.

Well, that's
stretching it.

There's a chance
we'll all be killed.

It's not a lock.

We just need to get
you adequately prepared.

It's an Italian passport.

Open it up.

Is that a piece
of work or what?

What is this?

"Rodolfo Lasparri?"

Look, I got to tell you.

We may all be on a plane
to Palermo, Sicily,

at midnight,
if we're still walking.

I don't want to go
to Palermo, Sicily.

Have you ever been there?
No. Of course not.

Then you can't make an
informed judgment, Rodolfo.

I'm not going.

I can't take it anymore!

I don't want to spend
the rest of my life hiding!

I can't take it!
I want this resolved already!

You do?

Yes!

Why are you smiling?

Because as usual,
my Uncle Carmine was right.

You're ready.

You're ready for Freddy.

What does this mean,
"I'm ready for Freddy"?

It means it's show time.

In two minutes,

you go outside
and signal the feds.

What the hell is that?

Fish and Wildlife
doesn't mean

we're social workers,
Mr. Armstrong.

MAN:
Ladies and gentlemen,

your co-host
for this evening,

Mr. Larry London! Larry!

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

This is a very
special evening

for all of us,

for tonight
you will be eating

one of only eight
Komodo dragons

left in the entire world.

Which is why
it has been priced

at, uh,
$350,000 a plate,

service included!

Thank you. Thank you
for paying in advance.

Without these monies...

Smells good.

I want you
to take half of it

and put the rest
in the steamer.

Right.

Go ahead.

Et bon appetit.

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

I think he wants you
to help him with the dragon.

Okay. Ahem. okay.

Good luck. Not that
you'll need it.

Everybody has
such confidence.

* Well, I ain't gonna work
On Maggie's Farm no more *

* No, I ain't gonna *

* Work on
Maggie's Farm no more *

* Well, I wake up
In the morning *

* Fold my hands
And pray for rain *

* Got a head full of ideas *

* And they're
Driving me insane... **

[***]

The kid is signaling us.

You sure?
Absolutely.

CLARK:
My heart was pounding
as I crossed the dance floor.

In a few minutes
I would be free,

or dead,

or Rodolfo Lasparri
of Palermo, Sicily.

It was all up to me now.

The show was about to begin.

[***]

[COOKS CHATTERING]

CLARK:
The lizard looked even
more nervous than I was.

We were in the same boat.

[***]

All right.
Everybody out.

Get out.

[***]

[HUMMING]

Give me that dragon!
Freeze!

Department of Justice,
Fish and Wildlife!

Carmine Sabatini,
Hans Kurt Schlegel.

Dwight!
SIMPSON: You're under arrest.

What's the charge?

Illegal importation
and attempted slaughter

of varanus komodoensis,

also known as
the Komodo dragon.

It's over, old man.

CARMINE: You betrayed me.
CLARK: No!

Yeah, you betrayed me.
No!

Stand back!

Drop it or I'll
blow your nose off.

CLARK:
Sir!

How could you do this?
Sir, you're wrong!

Sir...

[CARMINE & CLARK GRUNTING]

Don't.

[GUNSHOT]

[CARMINE GROANS]

CLARK:
Sir!

Oh, kid.

Sir!

Oh, God. Carmine!

CLARK:
I had no choice.

You all saw that.

You had no choice.
It was fate.

No matter how
you're feeling, kid,

you're a hero.

[CROWD APPLAUDING
IN DISTANCE]

I'm numb.
Cigarette?

Oh, yeah.

I'd love one.

I had real feeling
for him.

I'm sure you did.

A technical matter, uh...

The money.
We need it for evidence.

Oh.

Yeah, it's, uh...

It's over there
in the large tureen.

Good work, kid.

We gotta go impound
the evidence.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

GREENWALD:
Job well done.
Everybody wait here.

Congratulations.
GREENWALD: Come on.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I guess we should go.

I'm not going anywhere.

Son--
Don't call me son.

I had no choice.

You had a choice.
Not to turn me in.

If it was your son--

I'd have treated him
like he was my son.

If he was my stepson,
I'd treat him like my son.

Clark, that animal--

Dwight, good night.

You tell Mom I'll call
her tomorrow.

Good night.

FBI, gentlemen.

Charles Greenwald,
Lloyd Simpson,

you're under arrest for
violating your oath of office,

conspiracy to commit fraud,
extortion,

violation of the RICO Act.
Put the cuffs on them.

The old man
set us up.

Sabatini?

With the kid!

Watch the corn,
gentlemen.

[***]

CARMINE:
I'm getting too old
for this nonsense.

We done?

We're done.

How you doing?

I'm a wreck.

Sorry to interrupt,

but they're getting
a little restless.

All right.
Let's go.

Hans, what are we serving
our guests for dinner?

Hawaiian tiger fish,
mixed with

smoked turkey
from Virginia.

Smoked turkey?

This whole thing's
been a scam?

This gourmet thing?

This is an ugly word,
this "scam."

This is business.

In business,
this is what you do.

[ALL CHATTERING]

CLARK:
350,000
for smoked turkey,

but they were having
a great time

on this last night
of the Gourmet Club.

Dwight was on
a bus to Vermont,

Greenwald and Simpson
were on their way to jail,

and the animals were en route
to the Bronx Zoo,

to the new Sabatini
Endangered Species Wing.

Carmine was
a philanthropist now.

And me?
I was just a student.

* Mona Lisa *

* Mona Lisa
Men have named you *

* You're so like the lady *

* With a mystic smile *

If you'd known, you wouldn't
have done any of it.

Of course not.

TINA:
That's why we never told you.

So he knew all along

that Dwight
was my stepfather,

and that he'd call
Fish and Wildlife?

Of course.

He's like a genius.

He's like a genius.

* A lover, Mona Lisa *

* Or is this your way *

* To hide a broken heart *

Good night, liebschen.

You have always been
my great love.

Now I can say it
since I'm leaving.

Oh, Hans.

Fantastic job,
young man.

Great! Wunderbar.

We're gonna go
hit some clubs.

Nice working
with you.

Take it easy.
HANS: Come, Edward,

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

* Lovely work of art *

The show's over.

So marriage is, uh...

Please. Heh-heh.

Good. Not that I was--

I know.

I'll tell you one thing
I'd really like.

What's that?

I'd like to spend the night
with you in your dorm room.

Really?
Yes, very much.

I would love that.

Get to know each other

under calmer
circumstances.

* Many dreams
Have been brought *

* To your doorstep *

* They just lie there *

* And they die there *

* Are you warm *

* Are you real *

* Mona Lisa *

* Or just a cold and lonely *

* Lovely work *

* Of art **

I'll go help Vic.

Well...

It's all over now.

You can go back to Vermont.

You remember
where I'm from.

I always knew.

I'm sorry you had to go through
all this nonsense,

but it turned out
for the good.

Sure. It was just...

You know, it just was.

I'm going to
tell you something.

You were brave
in there.

I was--
I was proud of you.

Thank you.

Anyway...

I hope you have
a good life.

Arrivederci.

Arrivederci, sir.

Arrivederci.

You know, I...

I meant everything
I told you, Clark.

Good night, boss.

[***]

CARMINE:
What's the matter with you?

You turned out to be a bum.

Come on, hey. Come on.

You're not going
to walk with me?

You could've been...

You could have been
a handbag.

CLARK:
Sir. Sir.

CARMINE:
He don't want to walk.

CLARK:
Yeah, well,
they don't really walk.

Ah, yeah, he's...

Let me get him.

I can pick him up.

Let me help you.

CLARK:
I got him.
I got him. Oomph!

CARMINE: You got him?
CLARK: There we go.

I got him.

CARMINE:
I want to--
I forgot tell you something.

When you finish film school,
I'd like to call you.

I know a lot of people
in Hollywood.

CLARK:
Oh, really?

CARMINE:
I could kick a couple of
doors open for you,

give you a couple
of opportunities.

CLARK:
Oh, no. I-I-I don't-- No.

I don't think
that's necessary.

CARMINE:
No, really.
It's easy for me.

I'll just make a phone call.
Make it easy for you.

[***]