All language subtitles for The Sopranos - S01E01 - Pilot

Mr. Soprano?

Yeah.

Have a seat.

My understanding
from dr. Cusamano,

your family physician,
is that you collapsed.

Possibly
a panic attack.

You were
unable to breathe.

Theysaid it was
a panic attack...

'cause the blood work
and neurological work
came back negative.

And they sent me here.

You don't agree
that you had a panic attack.

How are you feeling now?

Good.

Fine.
Back at work.

What line of work
are you in?

Waste management consultant.

Look, it's impossible
for me to talk
to a psychiatrist.

Any thoughts at all
on why you blacked out?

I dunno. Stress, maybe.

About what?

I don't know.

The morning
of the day i got sick,
i'd been thinking.

It's good to be in something
from the ground floor.

I came too late for that.
I know.

But lately,
i'm gettin' the feelin'
that i came in at the end.

The best is over.

Many americans, i think,
feel that way.

I think about my father. He
never reached heights like me.

But in a lot of ways,
he had it better.
He had his people.

They had their standards.
They had pride.

Today, what do we got?

Did you have these feelings of
loss more acutely in the hours
before you collapsed?

I don't know.

- A couple of
months before,

these two wild ducks
landed in my pool.

It was amazing. They're
from canada or someplace,
and it was matin' season.

They had some ducklings.

Here you go.
Here you go.

My daughter's friend was there
to drive my daughter, meadow,
to school.

Meadow, your father
with those ducks.

I know. The whole yard
smells like duck poop.
It's embarrassing.

Girls, you gotta have more
than just cranberry juice.
You need brain food.

Happy birthday! Thirteen.
He doesn't act it.

The male and female duck
made a home in your pool
and did it.

- Eeew. Get outta here.
- Disgusting.

Girls, you want some
of last night'ssfogliatell?

- Get outta here with that fat.
- One bite.
- How do you stay so skinny?

Him with those ducks.

If you don't like that ramp,
i'll build you another one.
Maybe it's the wood.

Hey, kids, come here!
They're trying to fly!

- Come here. The babies--
they're trying to fly. -

look!
They're trying to fly.

National geographic, dad.
Super.

You showed us yesterday.
It's great!

Now, my wife feels this friend
is a bad influence.

That's so cool you're gonna
be able to come to aspen
with my family at christmas.

Last year,
i saw skeet ulrich.

As close as from
where you're sitting.
Oh, my god.

Miss meadow,
we made a deal--

you keep your school grades up
and you keep your curfew...

between now and christmas,
then you get to go.

I know that.

Good morning, ladies.
Hey, mr. Soprano.

We're late, dad.
Hey! Happy birthday.

Thanks, dad.

You're gonna be home
for anthony junior's
birthday party, right?

Bird man, hello.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll
get home early from work.

I'm not
talking about work.

This isn't gonna work.
I can't talk
about my personal life.

Finish telling me
about the day you collapsed.

I drove to work
with my nephew, christopher.
He's learning the business.

He's an example of what
i was talking about before.

Did you call what's- his- name
at triboro towers
about the hauling contract?

I got home too late
last night. I didn't
want to wake the man up.

Did you get up early
this morning and call?
He's in his office by 6:00.

I was nauseous this morning.
My mother told me i
shouldn't even come in.

Bear in mind,
this is a kid who just
bought himself a $60, 000 lexus.

There's that guy mahaffey.
Get out.

Yeah, right there
next to the boo- boo in pink.

Back up.

My friend mahaffey.
Pulling his taffy.
Hello.

We saw this guy,
and there was this issue
of an oustandin' loan.

Can i stop you for a second?

I don't know where
this story is going.

But there are a few
ethical ground rules...

we should quickly
get out of the way.

What you
tell me here falls under
doctor/patient confidentiality.

Except, if i was, uh--
if i was to hear,

let's say, a murder
was to take place.

Not that i'm saying it would,
but if--

if a patient comes to me
and tells me a story where
someone's going to get hurt,

i'm supposed to go
to the authorities.

Technically.

You said you were
in waste management.

- Environment.
- Dr. Cusamano, besides
being your family physician,

is also your
next- door neighbor.

See what i'm saying?

I don't know what happened
with this fellow,

i- i'm just saying.

Nothing. We had coffee.

- Help!
-

security! Help!
- Aw, shit!

- Asshole!
-

tony! Wait up!

Security!
Hey, security!

You all right?

My leg is broken!
The bone's coming
through.

Oh, let me see.

I'll give you
a fuckin' bone, you prick!
Where's my fuckin' money?

- So you had coffee.
- Right.

- ...your fuckin' face,
motherfucker!
-

- what are you doing? Get
over here! Get over here!
- That's $3, 000. $3, 000.

Go ahead.

- Where's our fuckin' money?
- I'll get the money.

I know you'll get
the fuckin' money.

Know what you should get?
A cork in your fuckin' mouth,
'cause you tell people...

i'm nothing
compared to the people
that used to run things.

I'm sorry!
- You prick! -

i'm nothing?

Shut up!

What are you crying about?
H. M. O.!

Huh?
You're covered, you prick!

Degenerate fuckin' gambler.

Go on.

Next day,
i had a breakfast meeting.

I was called in to consult
by a garbage company
i represent.

Big, what's the story
with triboro towers?

The site manager wants to
renew his contract with dick,

but this kolar
sanitation--

another nationwide company.

The kolar brothers, some kind
of czechoslovakian immigrants.

These polacks, they'll haul
paper, plastic and aluminum...

for 7, 000 a month
less than dick.

So they pay us
40 times the monthly
for stealin' your stop.

That's the thing--
they won't.

He says if he can
tell commie bosses
in czechoslovakia...

to go fuck themselves,
he can fuckin' tell us.
Oh!

I give up.
Fuckin' garbage
business.

Yeah, i know.
It's all changing.

Let me see what i can do.

Are you sure?
You over your stomachache?

Oh, yeah.
Good.

What are you
doin' here?
Hey.

Gabriella sends me down here
for thecapicollo.
Best in the area.

Hey, t,
let me ask you something--

you used to go to school
with a guy named artie bucco?

This situation came up.
It involves my uncle.

I can't go into details
on this one.

That's fine.
But i will say this:

My uncle adds
to my general stress level.

It's none of my business,
but down at the club...

word is your uncle junior
is gonna whack pussy malanga.

He's gonna do it at your friend
artie bucco's restaurant.

Hey, boys.
How are you?

Don't move.
Uncle jun',
how you doin'?

Hey, good to see you.

Hiya, chris.
Hey, uncle junior.

I was just
talking about you.

It's anthony junior's
birthday dinner tonight?

Yeah. Don't
buy anything big.

We overindulge him,
okay?

Hey!
Oh! Artie,
how's your rash?

It's itchy.
Come here.

Good to see you.
Can you come over?
Yeah. Have a seat.

You know what it means for
arthur, one of these old mutts
gets wet in here?

Yeah. It'll
ruin his business.

You better sit down
with your uncle.

Uncle junior's
my father's brother.

Good guy.
Just gettin' old. Cranky.

Used to take me to yankee games
when i was a kid.

I love my uncle.

At the same time,
when i was young,

he told my girl cousins i would
never be a varsity athlete,
and frankly,

that was a tremendous blow
to my self- esteem.

Who's there?
It's me, ma.

Who are you?

Ma, open the door.

Anthony?
Yeah, it's me.
Open the door.

Hi, how are you?

Geez, ma,
get some air in here.

You lock the door
after you?

Yeah. I did.
Somebody called here
last night after dark.

Who?
You think i'd answer?
It was dark out.

Ma, i'll never
understand that.

The phone is an auditory thing.
Dark is an eye thing.

I can understand
not going out after dark,

but not answering
the phone after dark?

Oh, listen to him.
He knows everything.

You want some lunch?
I got eggplant.

No. No.
I just ate.

Know who i just ran into?
Uncle jun'.

You think he ever
comes to see
his sister- in- law?

Yeah. Remember
artie bucco?

Kid i went
to elementary school with?
Artie!

Oh! Yeah, i still
see his mother.

She tells me
he calls her
every day.

Yeah. Well.

Uncle jun's gonna
make a problem for artie.

Could affect
his livelihood.
What's that?

Cd player.

For who?
For me?
Yeah.

I don't want it.
You don't want it?

You love music. All the old
stuff is being reissued on cd.

All your old favorites.
Pajama game, connie francis.

Here.

Come on.
Come on.
What? What?

Ma, you need something
to occupy your mind.

When dad died, you were going
to do all kinds of things.
Oh, he was a saint.

Yeah, i know he was,
but he's gone.

You were gonna travel,
get a volunteer job.

Stop tellin' me
how to live my life.
Just shut up.

- I just worry about you.
- Don't start with that
nursing home again.

It's not a nursing home!
It's a retirement community.

You're with active seniors
your own age. You go places.
You do things.

I've seen these women in these
nursing homes in wheelchairs
babbling like idiots.

- Here, eat your eggplant.
- I told you, i already
ate lunch.

All right, listen.

You just speak to uncle junior
about artie, okay?

He respects you.
He'll listen to you.

If your uncle has business
with arthur,

he knows what he's doing.

And i don't?

Well, all i know is...

daughters are better at
taking care of their mothers
than sons.

Yeah, and i bought cds
for a broken record.

I expect to see you tonight at
anthony junior's birthday party
with your baked ziti.

Only if i'm picked up
and brought back home.

I don't drive
when they're
predicting rain.

You're a healthy girl.
It's good for you to drive.

Use it or lose it.
I gotta go to work.

Sure. Run off.

And that night
was my son's birthday party.

My wife invites the priest.
He's always at the house.

Hey, tony.
How you doin'?

You likecreme anglais?
You bless it,
i'll eat it.

She's not coming.
Grandma just called.
Who?

She started crying
and hung up.

She needs
a purpose in life.

Your mother is tougher
than you think.

So what?
No fuckin' ziti now?
Hey!

At first, it felt like
ginger ale in my skull.

Mom, daddy just fell! Mom!

Tony!
Dad!

Get back!
Madonna mia!

Daddy! Dad!

Anthony jr. , call 911.

Dr. Cusamano
put me in the hospital.

Gave me every kind of test.

When you're in the m. R. I. ,
there's a microphone if
you get claustrophobia.

I suggest you don't do that
because we have to start
over from the beginning.

Okay.

Hey, carm.

I thought you might
want some company.

Yeah.

6:30 in the morning.

How are the kids?

They're worried
about you.

I told anthony jr.
We'd rain- check his birthday.
Okay.

Think i got a brain tumor?

Well, we're gonna
find out.

What a bedside manner.
Very encouraging.

What are you gonna?
Not know?

We had some good times.

Had some good years.
Here he goes
with the nostalgia.

Hey, all i'm sayin'
is no marriage is perfect.

Well, havin' that
gumaon the side helps.

I told you i'm not
seeing her anymore.

- How do you think i feel
having that priest around?
- Don't even go there!

Father is
a spiritual mentor.

He's helping me
to be a better catholic.

Yeah. Well, we all
got different needs.

What's different between
you and me is you're going
to hell when you die!

My nephew christopher...

was handling
the garbage contract problem.

But on this,
i will also not go into detail.

Emile kolar.
Chris moltisante.

In czech republic, too,
we love pork.

You ever have
our sausages?

No. I thought the only
sausages was italian
and jimmy dean's.

See what you learn
when you cross cultures
and shit.

My uncle evzen
doesn't know i came.

If we make progress,
i'll have to tell him.

We have
to make progress,"e- mail."
We gotta stop the madness.

The garbage business
is changing.

You and i of
the younger generation,
we have issues in common.

"Emile."
Where'd you go
to high school?

Was it poland?
I'm not polish.

Czechoslovakian, what's that?
A type of polack, right?

We came to this country
when i was nine.
I went to west essex.

Yo, money. You used to play
my cousin in football.

- He went to boon--
- where's the stuff?

Yes. Yes, yes.

The reason for the visit.

I got it all deployed
for you.

Taste the wares,"e- mail."

"Emile."

The doctors kept me hangin'
about the tests.

As doctors will do.

So my uncle and i played a round
of golf and had lunch.

You keep mentioning your uncle.
What seems to be the problem?

Who do you think you are?
The person who says
how things go.

Now, listen,
artie's business...

is nice, upscale people
from the suburbs.

Don't ruin his life.

Vesuvio is where pussy
feels safe.

He's been eating here
all his life.

Hey, you kill him
someplace else.

You may run north jersey,
but you don't run
your uncle junior.

How many fuckin'
hours did i play
catch with you?

Can we focus more
on your immediate family?

My wife and my daughter
were not getting along.

Your husband
plowed under his corn
to build a baseball field.

These laser discs
are incredible.

Tony watchesgodfather ii
all the time.

He says the camera work
looks as good as in the theater.

Gordon willis. Tony
prefersii, noti?

Yeah. He likes the part
where vito goes back to sicily.

Iiiwas, like,
what happened?

Where does tony
rankgoodfellas?

Do you have racoons?

Somebody's
jimmying the window.
What?

You have all these
security lights.
Who would try--

oh, no.
Geez louise.

Hold it!

Meadow.

I notice the glass rattles
every time i walk
to the laundry room.

Do we have any,
what- ya- call- it, putty?

Don't give me that.
You snuck out!

- What's going on?
- You locked my bedroom window
on purpose so i'd get caught.

Normal people thought
you were doing your homework!

You have become a master
of lying and conniving.

Yeah, i know i'm grounded,

but patrick's swim meet
is tomorrow and he needed me!

Grounded for this?
Oh, no, you're not grounded.

You're not going
to aspen, that's where
you're not going.

Yes!

But this shit i'm tellin' ya,
it'll all blow over.

Didn't you admit
to dr. Cusamano...

that you were
feeling depressed?

Melfi.

What part of the boot
you from, hon?

Dr. Melfi.

My father's people
were from caserta.

Avellino.

My mother would've loved it
if you and i got together.

Anxiety attacks are legitimate
psychiatric emergencies.

Suppose you were driving
and you passed out?

Let me tell you something.
Nowadays, everybody's
gotta go to shrinks...

and counselors and go on
sally jesse raphael
and talk about their problems.

Whatever happened
to gary cooper?

The strong, silent type.
That was an american.

He wasn't in touch
with his feelings.

He just did
what he had to do.

See, what they didn't know
is once they got gary cooper...

in touch with his feelings,
they wouldn't be able
to shut him up.

Then it's dysfunction
this and that,
dysfunctionvaffancul!

You have strong feelings
about this.

I had a semester
and a half of college.

I understand freud.
I understand therapy
as a concept.

But in my world,
it does not go down.

Could i be happier?
Yeah. Who couldn't?

Do you feel depressed?

Do you feel depressed?

Since the ducks left.
I guess.

The ducks that preceded
your losing consciousness.

Let's talk about them.

You can't blame t
for being pissed.
You whacked this kid.

You should've waited.
That's the last time
i show initiative.

Imagine how i felt?

T's running down
the garbage business;

i wet a guy to hold on
to one of our stops.

He's not running
it down. It's getting
harder in new york.

One, two, three!

Come on!

- This is fucked up.
- What, pussy?

The kolar uncle is gonna
find the kid dead
in one of his bins...

and get out of our
fuckin' business?

No way.
"Louis brasi
sleeps with the fishes."

- Luca brasi. Luca.
- Whatever.

There's differences,
christopher, okay,

from the luca brasi
situation and this.

Look, the kolars
know the kid is dead,

it hardens
their position.

Plus, now, the cops
are looking
for a murderer.

So, what do you wanna do?

He disappears.
He never comes home.

They know,
but they don't know.

They hope maybe
he'll turn up...if.

Yeah. Yeah.
Come on.
Let's get'im.

Take'im
to staten island.
I'll cut'im up.

All right.
Let's go.

Pussy, you know,
t collapsing
at the birthday--

what would you do
if he was disabled?

Why would you
even ask that?

Our lecture series
in action.

It's someone from the university
discussing the novels
of zora neale hurston.

Hmm!

Didn't you just
read her in school, med?

It's very nice.

You know, grandma,
this place
is pretty neat.

You should really
think about it.

This room
was renovated last year.

What goes on
behind there?

Those doors lead
to our nursing unit.

Thisis
a nursing home!

This is a residence,
but just in case--

no, you are not
getting me into--
you're not listening.

You're not listening, ma.
I know these women
in their wheelchairs.

Ma, you're not
listening.

Ma.
You think
you're so high and mighty.

With your fancy office.
Ma!

Ma!
People come here
to die.

Oh, my god!
Tony!

Somebody get a doctor.
Dad!

So, you've come back
for help.

Don't look at that
as a defeat.

She's part of
that generation that grew up
during the depression.

But the depression to her
was a trip to six flags.

There's that
"d" word again.

Stay with your mother.

Now that my father's dead,
he's a saint.

When he was alive,
nothing.

My dad was tough.
He ran his own crew.

A guy like that,
and my mother wore him down
to a little nub.

He was a squeaking
little gerbil when he died.

Quite a formidable
maternal presence.

I gotta be honest
with you, um,

i'm not getting any satisfaction
from my work either.

Why?

- Well, because of rico.
- Is he your brother?

- No, the rico statutes?
- Oh, of course.

You read the papers?
The government's using
electronic surveillance...

and various legal strategies
to squeeze my business.

Do you have any qualms
about how you actually
make a living?

Yeah.

I find i have
to be the sad clown.

Laughing on the outside,

crying on the inside.

See, things
are trending downward.

Used to be a guy got pinched,
he took his prison jolt
no matter what.

Everybody upheld
the code of silence.

Nowadays, no values.

Guys today have no room
for the penal experience.

So everybody
turns government witness.

I feel exhausted
just talking about it.

Well,

with today's pharmacology,
no one needs to suffer...

with feelings of
exhaustion and depression.

Here we go.
Here comes the prozac.

Mahaffey does not
have the money.
What do you mean?

- Mahaffey does not
have the money.
- How could he not?

- The man does not
have the money.
- We ran the man over.

- T himself.
- The man has no wiggle room.

He's bled dry.

So, uh,

i hear that junior
wants to whack
pussy bompensiero.

- Pussy malanga.
- Oh, little pussy.

You think he's going to fuck
with big pussy? My pussy?

Andrea.

Stay with drinks on the house--
all night.

Sorry, mr. Dante.
Sorry.

So, uh...

your uncle resents
that you're the boss.

Sadness accrues.

Your uncle's
had a hard- on
his whole life.

First against
your father,
his younger brother,

'cause he was a
made man before him,
and now you.

So, sure,
he can't stomach your
telling him what to do.

Hesh, i love the man.

The man is driven,
in toto, by his insecurities.

I feel bad i was the messenger.

Your friend, artie,
with the restaurant,

get him out of town
for three weeks.

That way,
the restaurant closes,

the hit has to go down
someplace else.

You old fuckin' jew.
No wonder my old man
kept you around so long.

What about this jew's 250
on mahaffey's 100?

All right, mahaffey has
a new business partner: You.

H. M. O. S pay out millions
to doctors, hospitals,
whatever the fuck.

That m. R. I. I had,
$2, 000 a pop.

Now, we
give this mahaffey a choice.
He either has his company...

start payin' out phoney claims
to fake clinics we set up...

or he pays hesh
the 250 grand he owes him--

which we know
he cannot do--

or it's a rainy night
in lyndhurst.

Very smart.
Could be major.

- Could be as good as garbage.
- Garbage is our bread
and butter.

Was.

Miss meadow!

So, med.
I'm not going.

Every year on this date
since you were itty- bitty,

mom and meadow
get all dolled up,

drive in to new york,
plaza hotel, for tea
under eloise's portrait.

Look. Where's yours?
I have too much homework.

It's our little tradition.
We always have so much fun.

To tell you the truth,
i felt it was dumb
since i was eight.

I just go
because you like it.

And here i thought
this was something
we would do...

long after you got married
with girls of your own.

Hopefully i won't
be living here by then.

You've got mail.

Meadow, you can't just lie
and cheat and break the rules
you don't like!

What? You have something
you want to say to me?

Do you have any idea
how much it means...

to go skiing in aspen?

Do you think
that's gonna happen
every year,

like lame tea and scones
at the plaza hotel?

Good- bye.

Close my door, please.

Artie!
Okay, gimme a drop.

Oh! A drop, not a spurt.
Suave, a drop.

Artie. How are you?
Hey!
Stir the meatballs.

I wonder if you can
help me out.
What do you need?

Cruise, caribbean,
s. S. Sagafjord,
11th through the 29th.

Pair of tickets.
I can't use'em.

Can you take'em
off my hands?
Where'd they come from?

- Comps.
- Comps?

- What does that mean,
"comps"?
- As business manager...

for the kitchen
the restaurant workers union,
i administer the dental plan.

You listening to me?
Yeah.

A couple of dentists got
together, and in appreciation,
they awarded me these tickets.

Problem is,
i can't get away.

Here.

When's the last time
you got away?

Anthony, thank you.
All right.

Mr. Soprano.

You cannot accept
a gift like that
from tony soprano.

No way.
Listen, charmaine,

if i gotta stick my hand
up the ass of one more lobster
without a break--

i'm gonna go postal.
I don't even
want to talk about it.

Art, melissa,
it's time to go home.

Honey, you have
to get away.

Wehave to get away
for the marriage.

No! It's bad enough
that these mobsters...

still come in
and patronize the place.

- So what? We're not connected.
- Because we
turned down those tickets.

But the tickets were comps.
Tony is a labor leader.

Arthur,
please grow up!

Does the mind
not rebel at
any scenario...

under which dentists
are sending the don
of new jersey...

first class
on a norwegian
steamship?

Somebody donated
their kneecaps
for those tickets.

Herman, there's no way
i can subvert...

my fuckin' company.

Have them
pay claims for m. R. I. S
that never happened?

The paperwork
will look just
like the real.

How do i not
get caught?

I hate to hear you
knocking yourself.

You're a smart guy.
I'm depressed.

I'm so depressed
i can't eat, sleep.

You on prozac?
Zoloft.
It's similar.

It's supposed to help
with gambling too.
No shit?

This new generation
of antidepressants...

are supposed to be useful
against compulsive behaviors.

That's a shame.
A medication comes along...

after gambling gets
your fuckin' hip busted to shit.

I'm trying
not to be cynical.

Your debt and the feeling
surrounding it is the source
of your problems.

You know it and i know it.
I'm sorry i haven't
paid you, herman.

- I know you are.
- I never meant
to denigrate tony soprano.

Hey, you wanna go
for a walk in the rocks?

The crutches.
I can't--
come on.

It's beautiful.
We'll help you.
I go out to think.

Thanks, but no.

Uh...let's try it--

what you were sayin' before
with the m. R. I. S?

Dick's lookin' for ya.

Hey, tony. I just heard
from triboro towers.

The kolar brothers
withdrew their bid.

That's good.
That's good.

Listen, by the way,
artie bucco's here to see you.

I gotta go, guys.
Take care.

Artie! Artie,
you all right?

I can't.
What are you
talkin' about?

- We discussed this.
You gotta leave town.
- I'm sorry.

This is unacceptable!

I had an 8:00 reservation
i made two weeks ago.

Sir, as i explained,
people are not leaving
their tables,

and there are five parties
ahead of you.

What would you like--
can i help you?

I tore her a new one.

Why don't we go to
another restaurant
and eat?

We're here.
Mr. Soprano, how you doin'?

Giuseppe, how you doin'?

Hey.
This way.

Sweetie pie, i'm hungry.

- Hey.
- Tony, where are you going?

- Hey. How are you?
- Good.

You come here?
When possible.

Hey, uh, listen,
those decorating tips
you gave me really work.

Good.

How you doin'?

Nils. Nils.

Do you know
who that was?

Obviously, you do.
Is he a patient?

You know i can't say.

Decorating tips--
yeah, right.

Nils, shut the fuck up.

Mr. Borglund, they're
setting up your table right now.

Whoa.

Who was that woman
tonight at the restaurant?

My decorator.

What? You're
redoing the garbage dump?
That's funny.

Hey, you better not be
messin' with that hat!

Goddamn! Come on!
That's j. F. K. 's hat!

I bought it
at that auction.
Gimme that!

Irina, jesus.

I know there is something
more intimate
between you and her.

Nothing intimate.
We just talk.

Yeah.

Mr. Soprano, buonasera.

Months we don't see you.
Where you been?

Signora carmela.

You know, sometimes,
life is good.

Life is often good.

True regaliali,
for example.

You been in good spirits
the last couple days.

Carmela,

something i gotta confess.

What are you doing?
Getting my wine in position
to throw in your damn face.

You're always with the drama.
You go ahead and confess
already. Get it over with.

I'm on prozac.

Oh. Oh, my god.

I been seein' a therapist.
Oh, my god!

I think that's great!
I think that's wonderful!

I think that's
so gutsy!

All right,
take it easy.
That's wonderful!

You'd think i was
hannibal lecter before.

I just think it's great.
Psychology doesn't
address the soul.

That's something else.
But this is a start.
I'm gonna shut up now.

I'll shut up now.
You're the only person
who knows.

The only reason
i'm telling you this
is'cause you're my wife.

You're the only person
on this planet
i'm totally honest with.

Oh, please.
Goddamn it, i'm serious.

Wrong person finds out, i get
a steel- jacketed antidepressant
in back of the head.

I didn't realize
you were so unhappy.

I don't know.
My mother--

you told him
about your father, right?

Who?
Your therapist.

Yeah. Yeah, i told him.

Oh, good. But your mother
is the one.

I don't know.
I feel like lately
my life's out of balance.

Our existence on this earth
is a puzzle.

My own daughter hates me.

She doesn't hate you, carm.

We were best friends.
Mothers and their daughters.

She'll come back to you.

Hello?
Jesus, i got through.

What's the matter,
no social life?

Blow me.

Dad!

I brought you
my primavera.

It's your favorite.

Who is it?
Christopher.

Friend of ours just got back.
Little pussy malanga,

sometimes confused
with fellow mobster
big pussy bompensiero,

had just returned
from florida--

so it's gonna
go down soon?

Don't worry about it.
I got a way
to put it to bed.

Come on, meadow!

Go falcons!

So, uh, when do you
need this by?

Right away.

Way to go, meadow!
Beautiful. Beautiful.

I think i can get a party
like that together.

Side out? That ball
hit the line.
What are you doin', ref?

Mom didn't come?
Didn't think
you wanted her to.

Car's over there.

Hey, mr. Dante.

Hi.
See ya, heather.

You guys
played a good game.

That heather dante,
where'd she get
that spike?

Dad, don't you think
it's unfair what mom is doing?

Now making this
movie scene out of it.

The sad mom who can't
come to her daughter's
sports events.

Dad.

Don't you think
it's totally out there?
My aspen trip.

What is she thinking?

Dad?

It's been years
since i been here.

Dad, please talk to her.
Please.

This is so stupid.

Why are we sitting here?

Your mother thinks
you have the capacity
to be a top student,

and i agree.

What do you guys want,
perfection?

What are you looking at?

Your great- grandfather
and his brother frank,

they built this place.

Big whoop.

Stone and marble workers.
They came over from italy...

and they built this place.

Yeah, right. Two guys.

No, there were two guys
and a crew of laborers.

They didn't design it...

but they knew
how to build it.

Go out now and find me two guys
who can put decent grout
around your bathtub.

So i feel good.

So i don't know if i'm
gonna be needing to come back.

It's not the prozac.

Why not?

You said you're
thinking clearer...

and your wife says
you seem to be better?

It's not the medication.

Prozac takes
several weeks...

to build up effective levels
in the blood.

What is it, then?

Coming here. Talking.

Hope comes in many forms.

Well, who's got time
for that?

What is it you want
to say to me?

I had a dream last night.

Uh...

my bellybutton was...

a phillips head screw.

And i'm workin'
unscrewin' it,

and when i get it
unscrewed...

my penis falls off.

You know, i pick it up.
And i'm holdin' it
and i'm runnin' around...

lookin' for the guy who used to
work on my lincoln--

when i drove lincolns--
so he can put it back on.

And...

i'm holdin' it up,
and this bird swoops down...

and grabs it in its beak...

and flies off with it.

- What kind of bird? -

i don't know.
Seagull or something.

A water bird?

I sawthe birds
last week on cable.

You think
that planted the idea?
What else is a water bird?

Pelican. Flamingo.

What about ducks?

Those goddamned ducks.

What is it about those ducks
that meant so much to you?

It was just a trip
havin' those...

wild creatures come...

into my pool and have
their little babies.

I was sad to see'em go.

Aw, jesus! Fuck!
Now he's gonna cry.

Shit. Fuck me.

When the ducks
gave birth...

to those babies,
it became a family.

You're right.

That's the link.
The connection.

I'm afraid i'm gonna
lose my family...

like i lost the ducks.

That's what i'm full
of dread about.

- That's always with me.
- What are you so afraid's
going to happen?

I don't know.

You work so hard.
You work so damn hard.

And to see
your life's dream...

burn down.

Look at it this way.
You collect the insurance.

Arthur, you gotta
say to yourself, it
could've been worse.

Yeah.
How could it
have been worse?

Fuckin' faulty stove!

Suppose people stop coming
to the restaurant?

I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck.

He's right about that.
There's no insurance for that.

But why would people
stop coming?

It's just starting
to catch on.

Know what i'm
figuring out lately?

Talking helps.

- That's right.
- He's right.

- Hope comes in many forms.
- Absolutely.

Come on.

Oh, geez.
Here, hold this.

Artie. Artie, come on.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, look at me.
Look at me.

I'll always help you.

Come on. Come on.

Go cook. Let'im cook.
He'll feel better.

Someday i'll tell him
we torched the restaurant...

as the best solution.

Enough of this shit.

What's wrong with you?

You know, a simple
"way to go, chris"...

on the triboro towers
contract would've been nice.

You're right.
You're right.

I have no defense.
That's howiwas parented,
never supported.

Never complimented.

You know, my cousin gregory's
girlfriend is what they call...

a development girl
out in hollywood.

She said i could sell
my life story-- make millions.

I didn't do that.
I stuck it out with you--

come here. I could
fuckin' kill you.

What are you gonna do,
go henry hill on me?

You know how many mobsters
are selling screenplays,
screwing everything up?

She said i could maybe
even play myself.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Forget hollywood
screenplays.

Forget
those distractions.

What do you think,
i haven't had offers?

You got work to do.
New avenues.

Everything's
gonna be all right
from here on in.

Come on.

Look, it's
a beautiful day.

What could be bad?

It's nice of you to pick me up
for the party, junior.

At least somebody
cares about me.

These kids today.
I suppose he thinks...

once he has me locked
in a nursing home,
i'll die faster.

And then he won't
have to drive me anywhere.

If his father
were still alive,

he'd show more decency
and respect for his mother.

My brother john
was a man among men.

He was a saint.

Anyway, lots of things
are different now
from johnny's and my day.

What do you mean?

I'm not free to run
my business like i want.
Isn't that awful.

Just this week,
your son stuck his hand in.

Made it a hundred times
more difficult for me.

- Plus, he thumbs his nose
at new york.
- Oh!

What are you going to do?
He's part of a whole generation.

Remember the crazy hair?

And the dope.
Now it's fags in the military.

Stop it, junior!
You're makin' me very upset!

I don't like to, livia,
but i'm allagita
all the time.

I'll tell you
something else,

things are down
across the board.

A lot of friends
of ours
are complaining.

We used to be recession- proof.
No more.

You can't blame it all
on the justice department.

Our friends say to me,

"junior, why don't you take
a larger hand in things?"

Something may have to be done,
livia, about tony.

I don't know.

There they are.
Hey, ma! Uncle jun'!

You're using mesquite.

That makes
the sausage
taste peculiar.

Hi, grandma.
Happy birthday,
my big boy.

Carmela, my mother's here.

Everybody, let's eat!

Hey, meadow,
i'm not going to eat, are you?