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[J.D.] It was a beautiful day,so I invited Elliot over to my half-acre
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for some friendly sunbathing.
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Unfortunately, she brought Keith.
4
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Thanks for doing that, J.D.
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00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,944
I'd do it,
but the Bobbsey Twins are already loose.
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00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,485
No worries.
It's not that homoerotic, is it?
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Oh, God, no.
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[J.D.] Keith didn't knowI mildly disliked him.
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He also didn't knowI was rubbing Crisco on his back.
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Does it smell like pie crust?
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That's the rhododendron, Keith.
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00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,769
Everybody knows they smell
like pie when they bloom.
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00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:40,806
- Hey, nice new watch, J.D.
- Thank you.
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[J.D.] It wasn't a watch.Now that Elliot got serious with Keith,
15
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:46,140
I needed to get tighter with Turk.
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Since he's so busy being marriedand trying to make a baby,
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I had only one option.
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Come in, Brown Bear.
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00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,350
I got us watchie-talkies.
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00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,981
- Hey, White Shadow.
- [J.D.] That's not my handle.
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00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,352
[Sighs]
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00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,653
Hey, Gizmo.
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00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,626
Right on. What are you doin', man?
24
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:04,322
I'm about to take out the Slip 'n Slide.
Let's do it.
25
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,888
Dude, I can't. It's baby-making time.
26
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:09,935
- How's it going with Keith?
- Awesome. Check this.
27
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[Sizzling]
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Bacon back! Classic!
29
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Hey, stud.
You ready to fertilize an egg?
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[Whispering] Gotta go.
Maintain radio silence on all channels.
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[J.D.] A local magazine namedDr. Cox the best doctor in the city.
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Dr. Cox felt this was big news.
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All right. Here's how it's
going to work, people.
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I'm going to ask each
and every one of you just exactly who
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is the very finest physician in
this city, to which you will respond,
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"You are!"
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If you do not reply in a timely
and exuberant fashion,
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my associate will take his mop
and, these are his words, not mine,
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"Popsicle you."
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Now my lovely ex-wife will demonstrate.
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Darling, just exactly who is the
very best physician in our fair city?
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You are. And now, as agreed,
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you owe me a night on the town and some
"me actually getting to finish" sex.
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Well done. Now, down the line we go!
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- You are!
- You are!
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- You are!
- Yar!
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God! Why?
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00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,128
You combined "you" and "are."
"Yar." It made no sense.
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00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,067
It's true, Lonnie.
Everybody heard it. Poke him again.
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- [Yelps]
- Bob Kelso. Will you be joining us?
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Hm? There was a line. I assumed it
had something to do with cupcakes.
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Bob, obviously you read the article.
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The last publication
I read was the issue of Out
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my son left by the crapper
when he was home asking for money.
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You'll never get my validation, hotshot.
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00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,719
And just exactly where was the poke?
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I froze. Gimme 20 bucks.
I'll crack him over the head.
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Only kill him if you have to.
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[Carla] Mmm.
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That was amazing, baby.
I've never felt so close to you.
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Oh, me too.
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00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,368
[Sighs]
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Turk?
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00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,576
Were you not done cuddling, honey?
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00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,673
I was thinking maybe
we could go over to J.D.'s half-acre.
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00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:07,311
Put a blanket down. You can lie
in my lap while I stroke your hair.
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Real reason, Turk.
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00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,823
J.D. Has a Slip 'n Slide
and I want to show off my new moves.
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00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:14,155
I call this "The Captain."
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00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,525
Right. And then, wait, "The Dolphin."
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00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,120
[Squeaks]
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I swear, sometimes I think you and
J.D. Are more of a couple than we are.
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[J.D. Over watch]Tell her I've known you longer.
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Ugh!
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# I can't do this all on my own
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# No, I knowI'm no Superman
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# I'm no Superman #
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00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:45,086
I just don't usually burn this bad.
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Don't worry. Later,
I'm gonna find some aloe
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00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:51,294
and rub it on wherever it hurts.
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00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,160
Well, it's just on my back, really.
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Keith, that was innuendo.
You were gonna work on this.
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00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,261
Oh. Right, right, right. OK. Um...
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It also hurts under my pants...
in my pants.
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00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,008
Damn it! I can't get this!
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00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,239
Sweetie, you'll get it. You'll get it.
87
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,577
What? Laverne, what?
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00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,280
No judgment here, child.
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[J.D.] People were startingto talk about Elliot and Keith.
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00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:22,757
But I decided to stay above the fray.Then I changed my mind.
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00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,694
Can you believe those two?
92
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,699
No, I can't.
All that carrying on in public.
93
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:31,100
- It's way too much.
- It's just too much.
94
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,434
Sorry. I switched places
so I could go again.
95
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,337
- Dr. Dorian?
- Yes, Rex.
96
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,535
Mrs. Levin won't take her medication.
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00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,578
Mrs. Levin has dementia, Rex.
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00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:43,878
And I know she loves sweets, so take
the pill, put it in some raspberry jam,
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00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,317
put it on your finger,
dip it in her mouth. Hello!
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00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:51,153
[J.D.] Rex would remember that morningas the time he lost his finger tip.
101
00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:53,384
With patients,it's the luck of the draw.
102
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,620
You can't choosehow tolerant they are.
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00:04:55,728 --> 00:05:00,062
Young man, can you make sure
they don't give me any black blood?
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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,601
- I'll try.
- Hmm.
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00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,694
[J.D.] You can't choose how classy.
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00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,706
Oh, your hernia stitches look great,
Mr. Borland.
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00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:09,742
Could you give them a kiss?
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00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,537
Maybe later.
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[J.D.] Bottom line,you can't choose your patients.
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Hello.
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00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,080
It's about time. Are you my doctor?
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00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,246
Yes, I am. I'm gonna
go ahead and give you a second
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00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,052
so you can think about
just how lucky that makes you.
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00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,853
Don't try to be funny.
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00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:30,487
Now, here's a list of things
I'm going to need you to take care of.
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00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:34,327
That is so helpful.
I'll take a look at this.
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00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:41,368
- Hey.
- When are you coming over tonight?
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00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:42,908
I can't. I'm on-call.
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00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:47,002
I'm really worried about a patient
with metastatic adenocarcinoma.
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Aw! See? This is why I hate cancer.
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[Whistles] Listen up.
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You are!
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We're not doing that anymore.
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00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:57,878
Now you're fairly strong
at diagnosing, right?
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00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,117
- Yes, sir.
- Terrific.
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00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:03,389
I need you to go figure out what's wrong
with that third-floor coffee machine.
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00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:07,262
And, Gandharoo, I need you
to talk to a young pregnant black girl
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00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,994
who will not let me call her mom.
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00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,535
Why would she listen to me?
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00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:13,970
I may have told her
that you were Kanye West.
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I'm actually all right with that.
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Let's go, group.
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Look at our three manly men.
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00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,441
- Perry gets his chest waxed.
- Keith loves to knit throw pillows.
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00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,248
- Turk might be sterile.
- We have a winner.
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00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,154
I can't get pregnant
and I already got a fertility test.
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00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,192
Why don't you ask him to get tested?
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00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,092
Turk is very sensitive
when it comes to his manliness.
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00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,131
Remember when I told him
his backpack looked like a purse?
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00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,726
Turk, honey, I didn't mean it.
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I am a man!
And a man does not carry a purse!
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Ah!
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[Laughing] Yeah!
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If you can't ask him to get tested,
what will you do?
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That's easy.
I'm gonna sperm-jack him.
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Sure, sure.
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All right. I've made
a little tweak to the schedule.
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00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:07,250
Lisa, you're on tonight
and Keith is off
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00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,022
because he's got some
hospital-related business.
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00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,120
[Scoffs]
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00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:14,257
Don't give me that.
You'd be off if you had a good reason.
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- If you and I were sleeping together?
- First, the only woman in this hospital
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00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,807
that I would even consider
sleeping with is Jamie in Pediatrics.
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00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,241
- [All sigh]
- I know.
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00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,474
And secondly,
I'm the attending, so tough tuchus.
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00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:35,518
- Wow.
- It's just so unfair!
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So unfair.
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00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,390
It really is unfair, you guys.
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00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,428
[Turk] Hey, Gizmo,can you check on Mr. Jensen for me?
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00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:45,555
No problem, Brown Bear.
Are you nude right now?
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00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,758
Yeah! How'd you know?
162
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,997
[J.D.] Your voice is always higherwhen you're nude.
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[Turk] That's true.
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00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,239
It's not weird you know that at all.
165
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:58,971
Bob, just a note about the tapioca.
I'm much more partial to flan.
166
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,912
You're a flan fan.
It's fun to say, more fun to eat.
167
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,246
Anyway, anything that you need,
you just ask Dr. Cox.
168
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,684
Perry, Bonnie here is an old friend.
169
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,948
- Can't say I'm shocked.
- Take care of her.
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00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,115
You can count on me, Bobbo!
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00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,954
Here's the lowdown.
In three hours, my shift ends,
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00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,997
at which point I will be leaving
and meeting with my ex-wife
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00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:23,057
for a celebratory "best doctor in the
city" date which is guaranteed to end
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00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,467
in crazy hotel sex.
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00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:30,475
I'm thinking six-inch heels,
a leather mask, fishnet stockings.
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00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,011
Who knows?
She may even get dressed up.
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00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:37,140
The good news for you, though, is
that you have a case of hypercalcemia.
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00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:41,676
Any trained monkey can treat it.
Let's see who that monkey's gonna be.
179
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,782
Ooh! Banana.
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00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,323
Rex it is. Have a great night.
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00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:50,055
You're in very capable
nine-fingered hands.
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00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:58,201
I don't know what's gotten into you,
baby, but I am turned on.
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00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,035
OK, baby.
This might feel a little bit weird,
184
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:04,201
but I promise you, you will love it.
185
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:10,647
Honey? How could you think
I wouldn't notice this on my dangle?
186
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:14,812
You were enjoying it until
it started making that grinding noise.
187
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,050
I know we're having
a hard time getting pregnant,
188
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,717
but, sweetness, it could be you.
189
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,125
I already got tested.
190
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,529
Oh.
191
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,523
Turk.
192
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,694
I'm a man!
193
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,466
And men can make babies.
194
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,276
I'm not afraid to tell you.
It's gonna be a hell of a night.
195
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,279
I got us a penthouse.
196
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:44,009
- Great. How much did that run?
- About five bucks.
197
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,950
While I'm in the shower
you can read it and get revved up.
198
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,681
- Awesome.
- Oh, now what the hell, Mongo?
199
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:53,521
- Sorry, I'm his man now.
- Hello, Perry.
200
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,720
Don't get me wrong.
I hit him hard. Twice.
201
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:59,697
It just made him mad.
Guy's got a skull like a mountain goat.
202
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,391
[Tapping]
203
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,769
Perry, when I told you
to treat Mrs. Cooke, I meant it.
204
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:09,365
If I wanted to waste my breath,
I'd have given my wife mouth-to-mouth
205
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,774
when she went into cardiac arrest.
She's OK.
206
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:15,780
My mistress used to be a lifeguard.
Now get your ass back in there.
207
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:19,011
I'm sorry. Looks like we're
gonna have to take a rain check.
208
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,882
No. You are.
209
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,081
- Enjoy your evening, ma'am.
- Thank you.
210
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,415
No can do.
211
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,788
- We're gonna get going.
- No, no, no, no.
212
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:33,194
There is no way that you get
to spring your little boy-toy here
213
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,098
for a night of passionless passion
while my ass is here
214
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:39,501
and Jordan's whispering
sweet nothings to a shower nozzle.
215
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,403
Uh...
216
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,374
I'm gonna hang out back here.
217
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:47,776
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We'll leave it up to your interns.
218
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:51,908
Who here doesn't think
that Barbie should abuse her power?
219
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:57,546
Ah. There we go. Fair and square.
Face-jock stays.
220
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:03,884
[J.D.] It's a strange feeling wheneveryone's stuck in hell and you're not.
221
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,431
- I might be sterile?
- Oh, honey. Stay calm.
222
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,664
- Nobody knows but us.
- [J.D.] You firing blanks, buddy?
223
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,228
[Sighs, sobs]
224
00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:18,766
[J.D.] I was just glad to watch TV and,for once, not be in a world of crap.
225
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:23,615
- Why didn't you stand up for me?
- [J.D.] Or not.
226
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,913
Attendings switch schedules
all the time.
227
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,545
You switched last week
and I totally defended you.
228
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,145
You know what's going on?
You don't like, Keith.
229
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,918
Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.
230
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,757
Thanks, J.D. You're a great friend.
231
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,000
[Turk] At least you're not sterile.
232
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,232
Amen to that, C Bear.
233
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:55,679
[J.D.] The next morning, I braced myselffor Elliot's odd brand of revenge.
234
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,042
And there it was.
235
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:03,054
Did you individually drain all my eggs?
236
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,282
Morning!
237
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,858
Fine. I'll just have an apple.
238
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:11,195
Oh. Looking for this?
239
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,095
- How did you do that?
- [Door slams]
240
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:23,874
I'm having a rough morning, Brown Bear.
How you doing with your sterility?
241
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:27,104
I can't really talk about that
right now. I'm in an elevator.
242
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:31,673
[J.D.] Not reading you, Brown Bear.I repeat. Are you still sterile?
243
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:35,050
This is so juicy, I feel dizzy.
244
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:39,047
Stupid watchie-talkie.
245
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,821
I heard they really want to have
children, but they can't 'cause he...
246
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:51,428
Don't worry, baby.
I'll kick her ass for you later.
247
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,836
We can go
to the fertility clinic after work.
248
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,430
I can handle this myself.
249
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,568
When you went to get your
fertility test, you didn't take me.
250
00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,475
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
251
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:05,006
Yeah, besides, I've been giving
the fellas some inspirational pep talks.
252
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,346
You got to want it, boys.
253
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,547
There is no "l" in sperm.
254
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:17,561
Hey. You get the patient
with gelastic seizures.
255
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,066
Awesome. Every intern wanted this case.
256
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:26,200
Elliot, you're asking for trouble.
Everybody's already talking.
257
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:30,038
He's the best. He shouldn't be punished
because he has to sleep with me.
258
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:34,306
- Has to?
- Gets to... He gets to sleep with me.
259
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:40,114
As a woman, have you ever noticed how
self-esteem issues just creep up on you?
260
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,416
I have sausage fingers.
261
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,956
Remember when I pulled strings
with the board
262
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:47,652
and got Perry that promotion? Yeah.
263
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:51,162
People started talking
and Perry ended up totally emasculated.
264
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,994
So it worked out great for me.
265
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:57,398
I should not care
what other people think. Right, Carla?
266
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:02,137
Oh, sweetie, they're beautiful.
267
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,766
They're kielbasas.
268
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:11,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
269
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:16,212
[J.D.] Come in, Brown Bear.Come in, Brown Bear.
270
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:19,382
If you're around,
I'm having some java out front.
271
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,330
[Grunts]
272
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,328
[J.D.] I'm hit. I'm hit.
273
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,601
Oh, this is gonna be fantastic.
274
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:44,578
All right, look. I know I said I wanted
to go by myself to get tested today.
275
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:50,020
But I've been doing some thinking
and... I'm scared.
276
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:53,422
So it would mean a lot
if you went with me.
277
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:55,585
Of course, buddy.
278
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:59,028
You know I'm not comfortable
getting busy with myself.
279
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:02,192
Well, you're in luck.
This happens to be my specialty.
280
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:06,034
Here are some tips. If you can't get
over that you're doing it to yourself,
281
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:09,836
sit on your arm until it falls asleep
then pull it out and use that.
282
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,742
I call it "The Stranger."
283
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:16,247
If I ever have kids,
you are never allowed to baby-sit.
284
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,010
I can't believe you're ready.
285
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,746
We spend all day taking care of
old people. Washing them. Cleaning them.
286
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,980
Why bring that home?
287
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:27,515
J.D., we're talking about kids, not
going home to a house full of old folks.
288
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,327
All right, fellas.
Two quick announcements.
289
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,855
First of all, whoever's been
filling my TiVo with JAG reruns,
290
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,492
let's cut it out.
291
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,902
And secondly, Harvey, no matter how
drunk you get, I like to sleep alone.
292
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:41,940
I like to snuggle.
293
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,703
That's your problem, buddy.
I got my own thing.
294
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:48,512
OK. Chris Turk?
295
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,207
Yeah.
296
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,579
We're ready for you.
297
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,145
Excuse me.
298
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:59,088
Are any of the reading materials
in there available for us out here?
299
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,128
[Janitor] J.D. This is that... blacksurgeon that you always hang out with.
300
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,757
Come on outside to the ramp, dawg.
301
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,632
Any second. Any second now.
302
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:19,871
Oh, for God's sake, breathe through
your nose. You sound like my bulldog.
303
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,280
You know, as a doctor,
I rarely root for the disease,
304
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,647
but with you I find myself cheering,
305
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:31,486
"Go hypercalcemia with underlying
MEN syndrome! Go! Go! Go!"
306
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:35,493
Do you drink out of the toilet?
My bulldog drinks out of the toilet.
307
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,324
God Almighty.
308
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:44,096
Dr. Reid, we think it is lame that you
give Keith preferential treatment.
309
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,569
We're filing a complaint
with Dr. Kelso.
310
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:50,165
OK. Well, you know what? You guys
can tell Kelso whatever you want.
311
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:54,008
He's gonna hear facts. I'm sleeping
with Keith, his schedule's shifted
312
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:58,982
and he gets the most interesting cases.
Who wants 20 bucks?
313
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,147
That's not gonna work.
I don't have that much, so...
314
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,798
[sighs]
315
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:16,829
[Knocking]
316
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,961
I just got in here.
317
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,664
Baby, what are you doing here?
318
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:25,107
I was home thinking
about my fertility test
319
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,338
and how badly I wanted you to be there.
320
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:30,941
Baby, I'm a man.
321
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,779
We're not that vulnerable.
322
00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:35,752
I don't really know why
I didn't tell you about it.
323
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:40,520
I guess I was just scared that, if I
got bad news, I'd be letting you down.
324
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,822
I can see how you'd feel that way.
325
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,088
Anyway, I thought I'd come over.
326
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,293
Aw, thanks, sweetie.
327
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:53,464
But you might want to go outside
'cause I'm about to fill this up.
328
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,837
Why would I wait outside?
329
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:02,447
- That's what's up.
- That's what's up.
330
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:04,516
Mmm...
331
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,747
You are more than welcome
to have your goon take both my thumbs
332
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:15,954
and break them if you want to,
Bob, but I am officially O-U-T out.
333
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,996
[Mumbles]
334
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,565
I don't even see
how you could like that woman.
335
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:24,261
I don't. She was married
to my best friend, Richard.
336
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:28,898
He died a few years back.
You know the deal with friends.
337
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:31,840
If they love 'em, you have to,
whether you like it or not.
338
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,671
[J.D.] Do you really believe that?
339
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:37,681
Or are you just saying
that to look good?
340
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:40,775
Ah, who am I kidding?
You don't care what anybody thinks.
341
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,616
I gotta tell you, though.
342
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,714
You gave me some good advice
about how to deal with Elliot.
343
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,227
Cootchie-cootchie-cootchie-coo!
344
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,990
- Can I fire him?
- Sleep on it.
345
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:56,994
Say, one more thing
about devil-lady in there.
346
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,900
Why me?
347
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:04,204
I know it's a minor condition, Perry,
but you know how things can turn.
348
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:09,908
But you wanted me in there
because I'm the best what, Bob?
349
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,540
- No.
- Say it,
350
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:15,644
or I will go in there and tell her
you're dying to be with her more often.
351
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,484
[Speaks gibberish]
352
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,750
- Beg your pardon?
- You're the best doctor.
353
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:24,659
Thank you, Bob.
That means a lot to me.
354
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,492
I know that everyone is very upset,
355
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:33,026
but I really don't think there's
any need to bother Dr. Kelso.
356
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,073
It's too late, Dr. Reid.
357
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,700
You're right, it is too late,
because from now on,
358
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,267
I'm gonna be
handing out all case assignments.
359
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:44,679
For instance, this cool case right here.
360
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,911
Should I give it
to the annoying intern?
361
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,282
That would be you, Lisa.
362
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,789
Maybe I should give it to the
incompetent intern missing a finger.
363
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,018
Because that would be you, Rex.
364
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:57,584
Or maybe I should
just give it to the best intern.
365
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,291
Which would be you, Keith.
366
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:07,770
Now if anyone wants to tell on me
to whomever they like, they can.
367
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,500
Good day.
368
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,736
[# The Eels: Living Life]
369
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,982
- Here you go.
- Thanks again, Dr. D.
370
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,577
All right. If you like him, I like him.
371
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:30,087
- Hey! I'm not sterile!
- Congratulations!
372
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,722
- [Cheering]
- # Not sterile #
373
00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:36,562
[J.D.] My friends were happy, and eventhough I felt like the fifth wheel,
374
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,967
I could take solace in something.
375
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:43,298
Hey, Turk. I forgot.
I can't raid the freezer with you.
376
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:46,344
Be careful in there.They lock it up at three.
377
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,878
[Grunts]
378
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,448
I'm gonna kill him.
379
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,117
[J.D.] I had finally won one.
380
00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:06,674
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