All language subtitles for It Runs in the Family (2003) RARBG

Now look over my right shoulder.

Good .

Look over my left shoulder.

Very good .

You know, Mr. Gromberg , you're
not gonna want to hear this,

but for a man of your age,
less than a year after a stroke,

you are in remarkable shape.

Well , my damn ticker.

A mile a minute.

Your cardiogram
showed no abnormalities.

Blood pressure high?

Your blood pressure?
Better than mine.

How about my liver?

Your liver's
holding up perfectly.

-Kidneys?
-Fine.

What about this?

What? This?

That's dry skin , Mr. Gromberg .

lt's not cancer.

Say ''ahh .''

Are you still seeing
your speech therapist?

No.

He talks worse than l do.

Well , l hate to tell you this,
Mr. Gromberg ,

but it looks like you still have
a few good years left.

A few good years.

How do you know?

Do you talk to the man upstairs?

Hey, Gromberg ,
what's that supposed to be?

A sensei .

A what?

A sensei .
Karate sensei .

Oh , yeah?

Your karate guy ever seen
a pair of these before?

Good morning .

l'd like you to join me in
welcoming back Abigail Staley.

Most of you have known her
since kindergarten .

lt looks like
she escaped from the circus.

ls there something you'd care
to share, gentlemen?

So, no matter what you've heard
over the last couple of months,

l know that you will be
kind and considerate.

lsn't that right, Mr. Cooper?

Abby.

What the hell
are you looking at?

What the hell
are you looking at?

Gromberg , l am gonna have

Gromberg , l am gonna have

the red-line Martine agreement
for the meeting , aren't l?

l am working on it
as we speak, Barney.

Just checking .

Sure thing .

Asshole.

-Alex?
-Yeah?

Your wife on line two.

What time are the Martine people
getting here?

Any minute.

Shit.

Yeah , hiya, Beck.

Hi . l have five minutes
between patients.

l just needed
a moment of sanity.

So you're calling me?

Am l on speakerphone?

Sorry, honey, l'm just up to
my ass with this Martine thing .

Your parents are coming at 6:30.

Don't you dare be late.

And they're bringing
Uncle Stephen .

Oh , my God .
Better get out the body bags.

l'll pick up some matzo
after the soup kitchen .

Okay, bye.

Bye, love.

Got a minute?

Oh , Deb, please.

This is Rosario.

She's a sister-in-Law
to Marie Elena,

who cleans my house.

lt's very nice
to meet you , Rosario.

-lf you'll excuse me.
-Rosario has a problem .

She lives with her four sons,
her sister,

her sister's husband ,
and their three kids.

They haven't had hot water
for three months.

They made it through winter
without heat.

Almost made it through .

Her father just passed away
from pneumonia.

Rosario,
l'm sorry about your dad ,

but l don't know what to do.

l haven't done
public-advocacy stuff in years.

Well , it's what
you should be doing .

All right, Rosario. Okay.

l'll take a look.
l'll see what l can do.

No, no problemo.

Gracias, señorita.

ls someone coming
to pick you up, Mrs. Gromberg?

Yes. My grandson .

Well , you let us know
if you need a taxi , okay?

You shouldn't be walking .

l have two grandsons.

Eli's the youngest.
He's 1 1 .

He's Pappy's favorite.

And Asher's the one
who's picking me up.

l didn't want him to bother,
but my son insisted .

Asher's very laid out.

Laid back.

Back.

Right.

Are you among
the living today, Mr. Gromberg?

Yeah , l'm here, man .

What do you want to know?

l asked if you had any thoughts
on the progress

of Mr. Stein's one-act play,
''Three Kikes and a Hebe.''

Yeah , to tell you
the truth , sir,

l was completely blown away
by this piece of material here.

Stein , that part where you have

the antagonist antagonizing
the protagonist.

-That was rock-solid .
-This is ridiculous.

How many pages of Mr. Stein's
did you actually read?

That's a good question .

l believe it was
all but the last 1 9, sir.

Out of 20?

Mr. Edwards.

Not bad .

Yes, Ms. Maloney?

l am amazed at you people.

Did no one but l
find the sickening display

of anti-Semitism
incredibly offensive?

l did .
l certainly did .

When you have a Jewish character
playing charades,

and you devote 1 0 pages
to his feeble attempt

at acting out ''Holocaust''

and make no condemnation
of the Nazis?

l mean , do you have
no sense of decency?

Have you no sense of humor?

Humor?

How can l be anti-Semitic?
l was Bar Mitzvahed .

He's on call .

l'm sorry about that, guys.

l gotta pick up my grandmother.

Could you possibly be
any more unappealing?

You are like a zoo monkey
smeared in its own feces.

Someone should follow you around
with a pooper-scooper.

Pooper-scooper, huh?

Mr. Gromberg , show a little
class on your way out.

Yes, sir.

-Watch out, man .
-Yo, dude.

Okay, my beautiful ladies,

today we are running
a little bit of a special .

2 bags for $90.

Nicky said he got 2 for $ 1 20.

Well , for Nicky, 2 bags at $ 1 20,

but for Katie and Erica,
2 bags are $90.

Well , do you take checks?

Cash only, sweetie.

l don't have any cash .

l don't have any. . .

l gotta get out of here.

But l have to go to an ATM.

Don't worry.
l'll get you guys next time.

You see, Dr. Gromberg ,

in the window
was this display of socks.

Beautiful , fun socks.

Every color imaginable.
Cashmere.

Next thing l know,

the saleswoman is wrapping up
1 0 pairs for me.

40 bucks a pair.

That's a lot of money for socks.

Does Noah buy you special gifts?

l can't remember the last time

he came home
with anything for me.

Son of a bitch .

Sir?

No, no, not you .

My ex-partner, Kipling .

He died .

At last.

We're here, sir.

Stephen , your brother is here.

Ahoy, Captain .

Are you ready to go?

Where we going?

Pesach .
We're going to a Seder.

-Passover.
-Yes.

Not yet.

Not yet.

And gefilte fish .

Mom makes good gefilte fish .

Gefilte fish , yes.

But not Mama's.

Zabar's.

My daughter-in-law can't cook.

What are they doing?

That's gross!

You don't know what that is?

That's 69.

69's all right,
but it's nothing like oral sex.

Anybody wet their pampers today?

No.

You?

Hey, you .

You're in little
Abby Staley's class, right?

You tell little Abby she never
finished what she started .

Tell her l've waited too long .
My balls are gonna burst.

Miss Congeniality.

Jesus, Gromberg ,
are you following me?

Why would l be following you?

You just called me a zoo monkey
smeared in my own feces,

which l actually thought
was funny.

But l'm actually just on my way
to go pick up my grandmother.

Your grandmother?
That is such bullshit.

l am . Sometimes l pick her up
from dialysis.

You are so following me,
and l wish you would stop it.

You know what, Peg?

You excite me.

You are so moronic,
it is unreal .

Oh , screw me.

l don't think so.

No, l gotta go.

But before l do,
let me get your digits.

-Excuse me?
-Your phone number.

l want to give you a buzz.

You don't get the message,
do you?

What do l have to do,
barf on your Nikes?

Give me your number,
and l'll quit hassling you .

-lt's on the class roster.
-Oh , yeah?

Under ''unavailable.''

At least give me some skin .

Later.

Excuse me,
is Mrs. Gromberg here?

You just missed her.

l put her in a taxi
1 0 minutes ago.

Damn .

Was she okay, at least?

Listen , she's old .
lt takes a lot out of her.

lf you can't be here on time,

get somebody else
who can pick her up.

What kind of
shit-ass portion is this?

Now serve it up.

Everything okay, Suzie?

l explained
that we don't give seconds

until everyone's had a turn .

She ain't gave me
but a few carrots.

A man needs his vitamin ''E .''

lt's vitamin ''A.''
lt keeps the eyes sharp.

We can't serve seconds
till everybody gets their first.

Tell you what l'm gonna do.

Why don't you sit down
and enjoy your meal?

l'm gonna make a plate.

lf you're still hungry,
you come on back here,

and this plate will be sitting ,
waiting for you right here.

Aren't you
the little peacemaker today?

They should give you an award .

They already have.

''Most Dishes Washed .
Lake Kiamasha, 1 966.''

Yeah , but not for
how many you do.

lt's for how damn good you look
when you do them .

Oh , wait a minute.

What?

Oh , don't tell me
you haven't felt it.

Felt what?

The heat between us
for weeks now.

All the steam ,
the chafing dishes.

-Suzie.
-What?

l'm so. . .

Come on .
You know l'm married , Suzie.

Yeah , l do.
And so am l .

You are such a troublemaker.

Oh , but, you see,
l'm kind of worth it, so. . .

Oh , shit.
Oh , shit.

Look, l can't do this.

Oh , you see, l have evidence
to the contrary.

You said
if l was still hungry. . .

Come here.

Oh , thank you , no.
lt's a little early for me.

Salud.

Salud.

Okay, what can l do to help?

The dishes.

Don't break any.

You're such the happy helper
this evening , aren't you?

lt's called survival , honey.

Mom?

Yeah , honey?

What a facacta neighborhood .

-Hello.
-Hi .

Hiya, Mom .
How are you?

Let me give you a kiss.

-Let me take your coat.
-Thank you .

Hi , Uncle Stephen !
How are you?

He's not deaf.

-Hiya, Dad .
-How you doing , hmm?

-Let me get your coat.
-He's not deaf.

He's just demented .

Where are the boys?

Where's Asher?

He'll be here any minute.

Move into the living room .

-Can l get you a drink?
-That would be lovely.

-Alex?
-Yeah?

This year, please,
some real wine.

Mitchell .

Oh , you don't like the
kosher wine we serve you , Dad?

You schlepp me
all the way down here,

at least give me wine
that l can drink.

That's a point well taken .

Would you get me a tequila
while you're at it?

-Eli .
-Grandma, Grandpa.

Give me five.

Eli , this is important.

First.

A quick kick in the shins
gets his attention .

Then , using the palm .

Smack in the kisser.

Push his nose
right into his brain .

Mitchell ,
what are you telling him?

Don't worry.
Don't worry.

You finish . A knee
right in the family jewels.

Mitchell , please refrain
from filling my son's head

with your
blood-and-guts stories.

Every boy
should know these things.

Every boy should not know
these things.

-Yes, l should .
-Yeah .

Not yet. Not yet.

Was he always like this?

Oh , no, dear.

No.

Uncle Stephen was
a great Navy man .

Very brave and very dashing
in his uniform .

All right, everybody,
let's come to the table.

Where's Asher?

He's probably hanging out
on some street corner.

We'll start.
He'll join us when he gets here.

Manners of a caveman .

Mama, you're there.

Thank you , Mitchell .

Why, he should be here.

Not yet.

Not yet.

We thank you , O Lord , our God ,
king of the universe,

who creates
the fruit of the vine.

-Amen .
-Amen .

1 92 7?

Give me a hard one.

This is the bread
of our affliction ,

and this one is the afikomen .

l will hide the afikomen .
And don't you cheat.

''Why is it on all other nights
during the year,

we eat bread or matzo, but on
this night, we eat only matzo?''

Excuse me.

-Now what?
-l'm sorry.

You have to take this now?

My grandson is reading
the four questions.

Eli , please, l'm sorry.

-No, it's okay.
-Barney, hi .

We're having dinner right now.

lgnores his duties
at the firm for years.

Now he has to work.

-Mitchell , not now.
-Wait a minute.

-What did you say?
-You heard me.

You're talking to me
about duty, Dad?

l know all about duty.

Duty to my family
as well as my work.

What about me?

Alex, don't start this.

Where were you , huh?

l mean , where were you?

At least l've made an effort
to be here, huh?

Eli .

Read it like you mean it.

''Why is this night'' --

Hey, everybody.

Hello.

Well , at least you got here
before Elijah did .

-Stephen , Pappy, and Mom .
-Hello, darling .

Hey, little man .

-Good to see you , son .
-Good to see you , too, Dad .

-Glad you could make it.
-Yeah . Me too.

Wonderful dinner.

You want to find out if anybody
would like the last piece?

Would anybody else
like this last piece of brisket?

No, thanks.

At least there's somebody else
that likes the wine.

You aren't doing too bad .

Mom , mean brisket.

My best work yet, isn't it?

Wonderful .

Come on .
What is it? Tell me.

-Stephen , tell me.
-ls he all right?

He's all right.
He's having a good time.

Abby Staley came back today.

-Who?
-What, honey?

Abby Staley
came back to class today.

-Who's she?
-She did?

This little girl in his class.

She ran away with an older boy.
She's 1 2 .

This happened in artsy-fartsy
school . Kids run away?

Did you talk to her?

No.
l don't even like her.

She thinks she's cooler
than everybody else.

lf she wants to run away,
that's okay.

You could be
more compassionate.

She's obviously going through
a hard time.

Whatever.

Do you ever think about
running away?

Sometimes.

l would run away, too,

from such a facacta school .

That's helpful , Mitchell .

That's enough .
You know how rough --

Enough !

He said it.

Good for you .

You want to tell us why you
didn't pick up your grandmother?

Alex, you promised me
you wouldn't say anything .

lt's no big deal .

l think it's a big deal .

Asher, we ask so little of you .

Do you know how serious it is?

Do you have any idea
what dialysis is?

Yeah , Dad , l do.

Kidney dialysis is the process

of filtering the accumulated
waste products of metabolism

from a patient whose kidneys
aren't functioning properly.

lf this is too much
responsibility to take. . .

Listen .

When l was his age,
l supported a wife, a kid .

That's not true, Dad .

When you were his age,
l wasn't even born yet.

All of you , let it pass.
Let it be.

Matter of fact, l had
a very interesting experience

after l left dialysis.

l got in a cab.

Yeah?

And then l went
to my mother's old building .

Why did you do that?

l'm not sure.

l just found myself there.

l think it's a sign .

Honey, what the hell
are you talking about, a sign?

What sign?

Look, Granny, l'm sorry.

Oh , it's all right, honey.

l'm gonna go drain my dragon .

Drain his what?

His dragon , dear.

You can't always run away,
Asher.

You're going to have to --

Jesus.

Dude.
Silent but violent.

l surrender!

You win , you win .

l surrender.

Okay, we'll do it your way.

What?

l didn't say
you can come in here.

l didn't ask, man .

So, what's your secret, bro?

All this yin-yang stuff
bring the pootie-tang?

What's that mean?

Got yourself a lady friend
these days?

None of your business.

You poking her?

l'm 1 1 .

Who cares, man?

Tell me you've slapped
the Gromberg lip lock on her.

Not yet.
But l'm gonna.

That's all right, man .
Come here.

How many girls
have you macked so far?

None.

None?

None.

Now, what's this supposed to be?

lt's whatever you think it is.

What does it look like to you?

Like a piece of shit.

He's just being provocative.

Now he's an art critic.

Hello!

What was this place?
A paint factory?

lnk factory, Dad .

Strange place
to raise kids, huh?

4,000 square feet.
Supportive parents.

How bad can it be, Dad?

And that's why Asher
is a social misfit.

That's it.

Boys!
Time for the afikomen !

49 years.
l don't know how you do it.

He's been through a lot
this past year.

This year isn't any different.

He's still a ball-buster,
except this year

it's more difficult for him
to enunciate his insults.

When are you gonna learn

to ignore the things
you don't like about him

and embrace the things you do?

He loves you .

He sure has
a funny way of showing it.

Alex, he's not gonna be
around forever.

Found it!

$ 1 ,000.

What?

One for me and one for Asher.

Aren't you the lucky boy!

Thank Granny and Pappy for being
so unbelievably generous.

Thanks, Granny.

You're welcome, honey.

Hey, my boy.

My boy.

l wish
you and Alex would stop.

What?

They're waltzing , Mitchell .

Look at that.

lsn't that glorious?

Can't remember the last time
we danced together.

Hey, we'll get to still see
the end of the game.

l thought
this night would never end .

-What?
-Uncle Stephen .

Oh , Jesus.

''Enough !''

Do you think Asher was stoned?

No.

l don't know.
lt's hard to tell .

He's always like that.

l don't like
what's happening with him .

He's 2 1 , honey.

l wish he would talk to us.

l wish both of them
would talk to us.

l mean , what's with this?

What's going on
in that head of his?

lt's not that complicated .

He's asking for a $ 1 0 raise
with his allowance.

An 1 1 -year-old boy.
You don't think this is absurd?

Absolutely.
lt's a highball number.

That's not what l mean .

l mean , our son presented us
with a spreadsheet.

lt's not about finances, Alex,
it's about our son .

Both of them feeling
comfortable talking to us.

We're comfortable.

What do you mean?

Talking to each other.

Well , yeah .

Compared to most couples.

Yeah .

Yeah .

Good night, sweetie.

Watch where you're going !

On your right.

On your left.

Oh , l'm so sorry, sir.

-Are you okay, sir?
-You all right, sir?

Would you like to sit down?

Would you like
a smack in the kisser?

Get off of me.

Sorry.

How was your walk, Mr. Gromberg?

Mr. Gromberg?

Hi .

Hi .

l can't figure out
this damn E-mail .

lt looks like Eli
sent me something ,

but l can't figure out
how to reply.

Use a pen .

l fell .

Are you all right?

Evelyn , let me give you
some good advice.

Never get old .

Hiya, Becky, sweetheart.

l know you want to wish
Eli good luck,

since you can't be here.

Here he is.

Hi , Dad .

Eli , you go get them , all right?

Thanks, Dad .
Here's Mom .

l got all your roses, darling .

lt was very extravagant.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

22 years, huh? 22 .

Happy anniversary to you , too.

l'll see you later.
Bye.

Okay.
See you tonight.

l love you .

Deb, a little rent strike?

This is not
a little rent strike.

This is a goddamn uprising .

You can handle it.
Just be yourself.

Myself? You talking about
the knee-jerk liberal

who hasn't been
above 86th street in years?

Señor Gromberg !

l gotta go, Deb.
Thank you .

So, together, we will succeed

not only in getting your heat
and hot water back on . . .

What did you say to them?

l don't know.

l just asked them
how they felt about hot showers,

and l guess they like them .

What you got, dude?

What you got, dog?

All right,
you ready for this, man?

l'll run a clinic on you , dog .

You like this?
Watch this.

Sub! Sub!

Oh , you are such a sad boy.

Come here.

Come here.

Excuse me.

Damn , man .

Punk ass hit me with the body.

Looked like a foul to me.

What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be in class?

Didn't feel like
going to class today, l guess.

What? l can't cut class?

What about you? This is
your fifth time this semester.

At least someone's counting .

l couldn't care less
how many classes you cut.

You're the one
wasting the tuition , not me.

Yeah , well , it looks like
l'm gonna have to cough up

another year's worth .

l just got a letter
from the registrar.

They want me to
stick around for another year.

My grades are the pits,
so, whatever.

Sorry, Asher.

Yeah , it's all good .

What'd you expect?

Shit, l'm late.
l gotta go.

All right.

Give me your hand .

What?

Your hand , fool .

Okay.

What's this?

My digits.

Okay.

Call me.

l will .

Maybe.

This is so high school .

Oh , are you gonna pretend
nothing ever happened?

Nothing did happen .

What is that?
The Bill Clinton defense?

l could've sworn
something happened .

Why don't you just
finish me off?

Suzie, l am so flattered , okay?

But we gotta let this go,
because the truth is,

guilt is stronger than lust.

l was so proud of you .
You did so good .

Let's put this right here
so Dad can't miss it

when he comes in , okay?

Wonderful .

l'm starving .

Eli , Dad and l talked about
your allowance request.

We have no problem
giving you more money.

We know you'll spend it wisely.

We wish that you'd let us
know a little more

of what you're thinking .
ln words.

You know what l mean?

Whatever.

l just want you to know that you
can talk to us about anything .

Whatever's on your mind .

There's nothing you can say
that will upset us.

Understood?

Do you and Dad ever 69?

Will it be the usual ,
Mr. Gromberg?

The usual .

And for you , Mrs. Gromberg?

She'll have the usual .

What's good tonight, Bruno?

Well , tonight we have
the Osso Buco.

Very nice. Served with
potatoes and broccoli .

We have a veal chop
cooked in a Marsala wine.

Very lovely.

l'll just have the usual
as well .

Good decision .

Well , at least
l entertain the idea

of trying something new.

A concept that
you've never grasped .

Let's do presents.

Oh , maybe there's a job offer
for our oldest son in here?

Oh , boy, huh?
l could only hope.

Wait a minute.
Ladies first.

l may be a selfish ,
money-grubbing lawyer,

but l am still a gentleman .

God knows
who you learned that from .

My mother, of course.

Of course.

Well , it's on order.

lt's got automatic
button holding , autoembroidery,

autoeroticism .

This little puppy
can do everything .

lt's called a. . .

A sewing machine.

l . . .

Thank you .

Now, wait, is this
a schmucky thing to do?

No. No, no.

You always talked about wanting
to design clothes, didn't you?

l did , didn't l?

Yeah .

Thank you , honey.

l don't know when l'll find
the time, but l will .

l'll make the time.

Open yours.

Oh , l think l may be
the winner this year.

This is feeling awfully light.

Cashmere.

Now, what did l do
to deserve this?

l have no idea.

Look under the socks.

Florence.

l thought that we both could use
a little Florence.

Second honeymoon .

Honey, thank you .
Thanks a lot.

Shit.

Yeah , well , go take it.

The hell with him .

l've taken up a new case.

The Martine account
wasn't enough?

Pro bono.

l'm working on
a rent strike in Harlem .

Oh , honey.

That's the best thing
l've heard you say in months.

Oh , what's up?

Let her in , man .

Hey, come around .

-By the way. . .
-What's that?

. . .it's Katie.

l know that, sweetie.

l'm just reminding you
for the morning .

Can l ask you something?

Anything you want, Katie.

Whose number is that?

That number right there
is a number for the burn unit

at the Mount Sinai Hospital .

ln case it gets a little bit
too steamy tonight.

What the hell's
going on here, Alex?

Prostitution ,
drugs, rock 'n' roll .

We just got a call
from Waxman over at Martine.

Yeah?
How's his lisp these days?

You gone wacko?

Could you excuse us, please?

Not that l'm aware of, no.

You just took opposing counsel
against a client of ours.

Do the words
''due diligence'' ring a bell?

That project
that you just flew into

with your goddamn pro-bono cape
flapping all over the place

happens to be owned
and run by Martine.

They're threatening
to switch counsel .

That's a $9 million account
for this firm .

$9 million .

They are breaking the law,
Barney.

Morning , Barney.

What's this?

They're called papusas.

They're from Rosario.

Must l remind you

that our currency
does not come in the form

of tortillas?

Papusas.

You have been
taken off the Martine account.

Given the facts, that
probably makes the best sense.

Might as well take me
off everything .

-What was that?
-Nothing .

Just because you thumbed
your nose at becoming a partner

doesn't mean you don't have
obligations to this firm .

This is too big a screw-up
to ignore. . .

even for the founding
partner's son .

Oh , shit, Dad .

Alex, it's Asher
returning your call .

Hey, Ash .
Where'd l catch ya?

The library.

Oh , what'd they do?
Roll a couple of kegs in there?

No, Dad . l'm just doing
a little writing .

That's good .

l'd love to read something you
write, whatever it is, okay?

That's fantastic, Dad .

l appreciate it.

How's that job hunt coming?

Dad , l'm late for class.

Ash , that's not the reason
l called ya.

l wanted to know if you wanted
to go to the game tonight.

We'd have a couple beers.

l can't, okay?

Ash , l'm talking about
the Yankees. Box seats.

Dad , l can't go, all right?

l'm sorry.
l'll give you a call back.

Mike Bordick leads it off

and takes a pitch
from Roger Clemens. . .

What the hell?

l'm watching the Yankees.
Turn that thing off.

Let's go.

Up.
We're going to dance.

Are you out of your mind?

Just about.

That's why you're gonna turn off
that damn box and dance.

Off, Mitchell .
That's not off.

Hold me.

l am holding you .

No, you fool .

Hold me like you love me.

There, that's better.

You went away

And my heart went with you

l speak your name

ln my every prayer

lf there is some other way

To prove that l love you

l swear l don't know how

You'll never know

lf you don't know now

That's good , huh?

How you doing , buddy?

You doing okay?

Yeah .
Game's good .

l didn't mean just the game.

Food's good .

No, l mean , how's your life
going , Eli?

Anything you want to ask
the old man? Now's your chance.

l've had a little bit
of experience, you know?

No, l'm good .

-Charge!
-Charge!

Now batting for the Yankees,
number 1 9, Robin Ventura.

The bottom of the sixth ,
is starter Sidney Ponson .

Hit well , right field .
Gibbons makes a sliding grab.

Torre has hit the ball well
all four times tonight.

One away in the Yankee eighth .

l was thinking a nightgown

in that mercerized
Egyptian cotton .

Lots of pictures up here.

Slinky.

Hey, it moved !
This is great!

Let me get a pen , because
l don't want to forget this.

l want to write this down .
Wait.

Hang on , hang on .

Let's see.

Comfortable?

Talking?

Evelyn ! Ninth inning .

Get in here!

Shot right back to Julio.

He drops to first,
throws to Segui in time.

Ball game over,
and Baltimore wins.

Lousy game.

They should have yanked that
pitcher in the third inning .

That was a big mistake.
A big mistake.

Your bath is ready!

And l'm ready, too.

You can't take a bath
in your clothes.

Get up.

Jeez.

Get up, woman .

Oh , no.

No. No.

Don't you dare do that.

Get up, woman .

Goddamn , Evelyn , get up!

Oh , get up.

What. . .

Get up, Evelyn .

Get up.
Get up.

We were wondering
what happened to you .

Thought you'd give
public transportation a break.

Come out
with your family today.

l always take the train .

l know you like the train ,

and somebody
would have picked you up,

or l would have come
and picked you up.

Where's Uncle Stephen?

He's in bad shape.

The doctor wouldn't
let him come.

Hey, what are all these
cars doing at my place?

They're friends of Mom's.
Come to pay their last respects.

When l think of my mother. . .

. . .l think of her posture.

The way that she carried herself
through life.

She was upright
with dignity. Always.

And those laser eyes of hers,
seeing right through ya.

One look from her,

and she knew what the truth was,
whatever the situation was.

When l think of my mother,
l think of the word ''grace.''

That was a word
that was invented for her.

She set the standard
in loyalty, family pride,

in love.

And she taught me well .

What to look for
in choosing a wife.

So, Mom , l thank you .

What the hell are you doing?

l gotta pick up some stuff, so l
thought l'd take it for a ride.

What's the matter
with your Kraut car?

lt's Japanese, Dad .

Still the enemy.

We're not at war anymore,
remember?

They're not the enemy.
They may be yours.

My brother lost his legs
because of some Nazi bastard .

Dad , all l want to do is just
take it for a spin .

Nobody else drives
this Chevy but me.

Fine. You just keep
your precious car.

You shouldn't be driving
a goddamn shopping cart,

better yet a '55 Chevy.

Are you all right, Mitchell?

No.

No.

Was everything
the way you wanted it?

The service?

Not very religious.

You're standing on one leg .

What?

An old prophet was once asked ,

''Can you tell me
the meaning of religion

standing on one leg?''

And what did he say?

''Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you .''

That's my belief.

We must be nicer people.

And are you?

God , no.

Did you get the bread?

Yeah .

Do you believe
in doing unto others

as you would have them
do unto you?

What?

Your father does.

My father believes
you do to others

before they do to you .

Sorry, Dad .

l couldn't resist that.

lsn't it time
you learned how, Alex,

at least occasionally,
to resist?

What do you want to eat?

Fish .

We have whitefish ,
and we have lox.

Fresh fish .

We don't have any fresh .

We have a lake.

Well , why don't you and Alex
take the boat out

and go catch a fish?

Now?

Rebecca, this is ridiculous.

l need a partner
to row the boat.

You and me both .

Your father needs a partner.

Your father's asking
for your company.

Rebecca, what is the problem?

Fish don't like that.

l had a call from Jim Lindsay
the other day, Dad .

What's he calling you about?

He said he saw a guy out here
who was assessing the property

on your instructions.

So?
Testing the market.

-''Testing the market''?
-Yeah .

Does that mean you're
selling the house?

Why do you care?

What do you mean ,
why do l care?

l love this house. lt's got
Mom's memories all over there.

You never even
come up here anymore.

We used to come here
all the time. We will again .

Why wouldn't you
at least tell me?

Maybe Rebecca and l would like
to take over the property.

l'm not asking you
to give it to me, God forbid .

We'd write you a check.

Hey, Dad , could you
chill out, please?

You're scaring my bites,
all right?

Asher, don't hold
the pole like that.

Please stop with the Moby Dick
crap, all right?

Just leave Asher out of this.

l don't need help.

l'm not gonna have you bringing
Asher into what happened to me.

-Oh , is that so?
-That's so, Dad . Enough , okay?

Your wife died .
l've lost my mother.

That's enough , okay.
Just enough .

Okay, everybody.

Group hug .
Come on .

Don't be a smartass, okay?

l wasn't talking to you .

Stop trying to make everybody
cry with you .

l'm sick of that.

Some men cry inside.

That's what l'm saying .

Not everybody's
a soggy cracker like you , Dad .

Holy shit!

l got a fish , man !

l think l got a fish !

-Oh , this is a big one!
-Oh , it is big .

-Look at that thing !
-That's a big one!

He's a big one!

Oh , it's a big one!
Holy shit!

Where's the net?

-Go ahead .
-Dad ! Take it over!

-Use the net!
-l got it, all right?

l've got him , okay?

l'm okay. There we go.
All right.

What the hell you doing , man?

Damn !
Tell me you didn't just --

Schmuck!

-You had it in your hand .
-That was my catch !

l'm sorry. Okay?
l'm sorry. Okay?

l'm sorry.

All right.

Let's see if you can
get another one.

Schmuck.

Mean brisket, Mom .

l had nothing to do with it.

What's Pappy doing?
Can you see him?

Watching TV.

How can you just sit there?

Go get him .

Dad .

Not hungry.

That's a hundred wins
right there.

There's the attempt
to get on by a base-hit bunt.

Clemens right there
to make the easy play.

l'm sorry about the fish
and everything .

lf you change your mind ,
we'd love you to join us.

l finally get it into the boat,
and what does my father do?

The guy drops
the slippery sucker, man .

Are you upset about
your grandmother?

Yeah , l'm here.

Want to talk about it?

No.

Not particularly.

l'm really sorry.

Yeah , l know.

So, what are you doing
after graduation?

Doing that ''Euro rail ,
get on the train

with Americans who look
exactly like you'' thing?

l have a job.

Of course you do.

l'm starting
at the end of July.

l'm gonna be
an editorial assistant.

What about you?

After my fifth year?

l have no idea.

Can l ask you
a personal question?

l don't deal with
death very well , so. . .

Are you wearing
any exciting undergarments?

Christ, Asher.

Does death always
make you this horny?

l don't know.

This is my first death .

Oh , Pappy.

Hello?

Yeah .
No, it's my grandfather.

l better get going , okay?

Oh , okay.

-Peg?
-Yeah?

l'm glad l called .

Me too.

l'll talk to you later.

Who was that?

Just a lady friend .

You schtupping her?

No, actually.
Not yet.

Why the hell not?

Let me give you
a quick pointer.

When you're ready
to close the deal ,

get up, put on your shoes,
and leave.

What do you mean?

Just what l said .

Put on your shoes
and walk through the door.

That's your pointer?

Hey, mark my words.

She'll come back
when you least expect it.

l know he thinks
he can handle it,

but Mom did
everything for him .

What happens
if he has another stroke?

Breaks one of his hips?

Becca, what is this?

Look what the tooth fairy
left for you .

Oh , Jesus.

-l tried to wait, l really did .
-Oh , my God .

My God .
Oh , Jesus, no.

l loved your mother very much ,

but she of all people
would understand

that l couldn't go through
the motions.

l know this looks bad , but it
is not what you think, okay?

This looks bad?
Oh , bad .

l have been acting
like a crazy person ,

carrying around
another woman's panties.

What the hell
to do with them !

This is nothing .

-''Nothing''?
-Rebecca!

Don't tell me it's nothing !

This is definitely
something , Alex!

Whatever the hell it is,
it's something .

lt's got lace all over it!

Nothing happened ! l'm washing
dishes in the soup kitchen .

-l don't want to know details!
-l'm telling the truth !

Then , how did her frigging
panties end up in your pocket?

l don't know.

All right.

All right, let's say
that nothing happened .

Just like you said .

Did you want something
to happen with this woman , Alex?

Did you?

That's all l needed to know.

Rebecca, l can't do this
right now.

l don't expect you to.

But it's out there now,

and we're gonna
have to deal with it.

You okay, little man?

You okay, little man?

lt's so retarded .

lt's okay.

Don't worry, man .

Mom and Dad will kiss and
make up before tomorrow morning .

As gross as that sounds.

lt's not Mom and Dad .

lt's dancing .

What?

Dancing .

There's a school dance
on Wednesday.

Yuck. lt's stupid .

l don't get why anyone
would want to do that.

lsn't your
lady friend gonna be there?

You remember.

The one that you wanted to slap
the ol' Gromberg lip lock on?

Whatever.

Oh , man .

Sixth-grade dance.
Spring Fling .

Man , if anything's
gonna go down , E . ,

that's where it's gonna happen .

Trust me.
l got your back on that one.

Yeah , whatever.

She has a nose ring .

The runaway?

That's your girlfriend?

lt's Abby,
thank you very much .

No shit.

l'm impressed , E .

What's wrong
with a nose ring , anyway?

lt's in her nose.

l think l miss her.

Who?

The little punk chick?

No.

Granny.

Yeah .

l miss her, too, Eli .

You'll never know

Just how much

l miss you

You'll never know

Just how much

l care

And if l tried

l still couldn't hide

My love for you

My love for you

ln the doghouse, huh?

Oh , don't ask, Dad .

Let's go for a ride.

What?

You can drive.

l had a thought.

What if you and Rebecca
took over the deed?

Which deed?

''Which deed .''
The deed to the house.

Just thought about that, huh?

-What made you think of that?
-Pull over.

Dad , if you can
just hold onto it,

there's a gas station
on route 9.

l don't have to pee.

Please, pull over, right here.

Okay.

Dad?

Dad , you okay?

l met your mother here.

l thought you met
in law school .

No.

l met her right there.

Bake sale.

l bought a piece
of poppy-seed cake.

Went in to get another
just to see her again .

l must have had six slices

before l had the nerve
to ask her to go out.

Your mother was the best thing
to ever happen in my life.

l can hardly breathe
without her.

For 30 years. . .

every Friday, l took the Express
from Grand Central .

Yeah , l used to love
that train ride.

Spending some time
alone with my dad .

Your mother liked to
drive up on her own ,

so we'd greet each other,
fresh for the weekend .

The train would roll in ,
l'd step out. . .

. . .and there she was.

Waiting for me always.

Always.

Dad , Rebecca and l
are in some trouble.

Did you hear what l said?

Now what did you do wrong?

She thinks
l'm having an affair.

With another woman?

Yeah , Dad ,
with another woman .

lt doesn't surprise me.

What do you mean ,
it doesn't surprise you?

You never had a real sense
of follow-through .

See, l mean , that's it.

l'm trying to talk to you .

You can't have one minute go by
without trying to insult me?

l'm just telling it like it is.

Like it is
or how you like to see it?

Just because your
old man was a coldhearted prick

doesn't mean that you and l
got to be that way, Dad .

Why is it that whatever l do,
l always feel it's not enough?

l always feel
like l'm coming up short, Dad .

Why?
What is that?

Why, Dad?

What? Mom's not here
to defend you?

You don't know what to say?

She was always ready
to serve you .

When she was here,
she was excusing --

Don't talk about your mother
like that.

l will talk about her
any way l want

because she is my mother,
and , Dad . . .

. . .you're my father.

Couldn't you just at least have
a little bit of approval

about my life?

ls that really gonna kill you
to give me maybe that much?

What do you want me to say?
That l love you?

You know,
l'm not like your mother.

l can't say everything out loud .

lt doesn't mean l don't.

And l love you , too, Dad .

l'm not always proud
of my behavior.

Nobody is. Nobody.

And , Alex, you're a much better
father than l was.

Thank you .

But you didn't exactly
set the bar all that high .

Come on .
Let's go home.

To the side if you're
gonna stop, please!

Come on , let's go.

Let's go.

-Sweet!
-There we go.

-You know what your problem is?
-What's my problem?

You're not confused .

lt's painfully obvious
that you're. . .

What? Paralyzed
by the fear of failure?

As long as you're aware of it.

How can you sleep at night?

l don't know.

l guess we're different.

Why do you care?

Why do l care?

'Cause you're acting
like a pussy.

l don't like hanging out
with pussies.

A pussy?

Don't!

Wait, wait.

What's wrong?

What?

Do l have B.O.?
That's not fair.

l didn't get to shower.

l was running
all over the place.

l don't want to ruin this.

l'm sorry?

l just think what we have going
right now is so good .

l don't want to rush it.

Are you high?

No.

l just think that we should
respect the connection .

lt's a game.

No.
l'm serious.

Here.

l'll call you later, okay?

Can l call you later?

Yeah .

Okay.

Mr. Gromberg ,
are you okay, sir?

Mr. Gromberg ,
are you okay, sir?

The usual .
Thank you .

Abby Staley.

Hey, Eli , do you want
to go get a drink?

No, l'm good .

All right.
Talk to you later.

-Hey.
-What?

How come you're
just standing here?

How come you look like a banker?

l don't know.

My dad bought me this.

l like your bracelets.

Do you?

Or are you making a dick
of yourself and being nice?

No, l do.
They're nice.

Do you dance?

Here? No.

But l would
get the hell out of here.

So how did Eli look
for the dance tonight?

lf you had been here,
maybe you wouldn't have to ask.

A little early
for bed tonight, isn't it?

Excuse me.

How long are you gonna
keep freezing me out?

l don't know.

l need time.
All right?

Beck, l am sorry.

l am so sorry.

So am l .

l'm sorry and sad and exhausted .

Oh , God .

Just talk to Barney.

lt's my father.

Oh , better!

Yes, Dad?

What?

lf you would just
sign here, Mr. Gromberg .

And that should do it.

Your late brother's remains

are now officially
in your custody.

My deepest condolences.

Thank you .

Have you . . .

l'm assuming you've made
suitable arrangements.

Don't worry.

We will see
that he gets a fitting burial .

What's up, man?

Prolific.

Just waiting on my muse.

She's a bit tardy
this evening , no?

Or should l say this semester?

She'll be here, man .
She'll be here.

As we await her arrival ,

how about we do
a little drinkypoo?

Pappy was right.

What?

Nothing .
What's up?

l could hear you
all the way down the lobby.

lt was really loud .

Yeah .

This is my buddy
from down the hall .

Don't be fooled
by his fancy grammar.

He's really a slimeball .

Malik, this is Peg .

lt's a great pleasure
to meet you .

l thought l'd surprise you .

lt's a nice surprise.

''Chablis 2002 .''

Boxed wine.

l liked
the rectangular element.

Take a seat.

So, what have you guys
been up to?

Cramming?

Yeah .

For what?
Chemistry?

Well , perhaps you'd like
to try an experiment or two?

You wouldn't lead me astray,
now, would you?

No. No way.

No way.

Welcome to my laboratory.

l want to get the sodas.

Get me a Pepsi .

l don't think
the graphics were better.

Hey, yeah , look!

Hey, check it out.
Over there.

Let's get 'em !

l'm gonna get ready. . .

Well , well . Abby Staley.

Quick, it's Shea! Let's go!
Out the back gate!

Where the hell are you going?

Leave me alone!

You don't like me anymore, Abby?

You're a good kid , aren't you?

-Leave him alone.
-He can't speak for himself?

l said leave him alone,
you shithead !

You believe the language?

You think l wouldn't find you?

Oh , that's your little game.

Leave me alone. My brother
will beat the shit out of you .

That's for your brother!

Leave her alone, shithead !

Get him !

You little rat!

Shit! He broke my Tony Hawk!
Damn it!

He broke my goddamn board !

Yeah , come on !

Come on !
Let's go!

Come on !

Please be careful .

l will .

-Can you handle it?
-Yeah , l got it, Dad .

l think so.

Okay, we'll put him in the bow.

Okay.

Now, watch out
for the ledge right here.

Dad , where's the bow?

Go -- come. . .

All right.

Okay.

Put him here.

Oh , my back!

Christ!
My back!

Dad , what are you doing?
You're gonna hurt yourself.

Someone has to do it!

Dad , this is absurd .
This is totally absurd .

lt is not.

He lived by the sea.
Now he dies by the sea.

This is not a sea, Dad , okay?

This is Lake Winnipac.
lt's not the Atlantic.

lt's a sailor's sky tonight.

He was in the Navy, Dad .
He wasn't a Viking .

This is what he always wanted .

This is what he gets.

Dad , we got neighbors
here, okay?

The hell with them !

Dad .

l'm fine.

l'm fine.

He held on
for a while, didn't he?

The only way he knew how.

You could have learned
a thing or two from him .

No, l did .

l learned how to tie
36 different ship knots.

Oh , the hell with knots.

The man had character.

You could have learned that
from him .

l tried to learn that from you .

l'm getting blisters.

Let's go over here.

So, how come you hang out
with that asshole Morgan Cooper?

l don't know.

How come you ran away
with that guy?

l don't know.

Thought he was cool , l guess.

Was he?

No.

Where'd you go?

Cape Cod .

Why did you come back?

l don't know.
l guess l got bored .

Were you homesick?

Hell , no.

l don't know.

Maybe a little.

l get homesick
when l go to camp.

That's 'cause camp sucks.

Are your parents
as boring and angry

and always screaming
at each other, like mine?

Kind of.

Do they never talk to you ,
like mine?

No, my parents are always
talking to me.

They ask me questions
whenever they can .

You're lucky.

No, l'm not.

You're lucky.

No, it's okay.

Oh , you really do like it.

How come you haven't
tried to kiss me?

What?

l don't know.

Do you wanna?

l don't know.

'Cause you can , you know.
lf you wanna.

No, thank you .

Okay.

Police!

What's going on here?

What's all this noise?

What's all this noise?

Where do you think
you're going?

What are you doing?

Spread your legs.
Spread your legs!

l'm so sorry.

Asher, what have you
gotten me into?

What's happening?

No talking .

Jesus, man .
What are you doing?

l can't believe l trusted you !

-Closet back here?
-No.

l don't know.
lt's not mine.

Yeah , right.

-Oh , my God .
-Move that for me.

You got a key for this?

No, l've never used it before.

Come on , get something .
Anything .

Asher.

Oh , my God !

Holy shit.

Jackpot.

How about this
for a noise complaint?

We're looking at 1 5 years.
What do you think?

There must be eight plants
in here.

l don't want anything
to do with you !

Peg , l'm so sorry.

l didn't mean
to get you in trouble.

l'll do something .

l can see the headlines.

''Father and Son Burn Uncle
in Makeshift Viking Funeral .

Wife and Children Shamed .''

ls this legal , Dad?

All right.
So, what do we do?

We say something or. . .

lt's not about words.

l'm sorry. Of course,
you've done this before.

lt's about this man's
connection with the sea.

lt's not about you or me
or words of grace.

Okay.

Push it to the waterline.

All right.

Okay, okay.

Now, when l say ''ahoy,''

give it a big shove
out to sea.

Aye-aye, Captain .

Sorry, Dad .

We don't have to do this.

We're doing it!

Ahoy. Ahoy!

What's going on?

Dad . Dad .
We got to go.

Dad , come on .
We got to go.

We got to go.

Thank you , Alex.

Thank you .

You know we could go to jail?

lf we're lucky,
we might be cellmates.

Yeah , hi , honey.

What?

Beck, is he okay?
Where is he?

They're processing his papers.

They had to fingerprint him .

He'll probably get off.

The police didn't have
a warrant.

He's always getting off.

That's part
of the problem , Alex.

lt can't go on like this
any longer.

Look at us.
Can you believe this?

You okay?

l'm still here, aren't l?

Asher, honey.

l didn't know the shit
was there, Mom .

Save it, Asher.

Do you realize
how serious this is?

l'm so sorry, Dad !

l'm sorry, too, buddy.

l'm sorry, too.

Oh , God .

Asher, do you know

you could have gotten
up to 1 5 years for this?

l'm such a screw-up.

You're not.
You are not a screw-up.

You're not.

Did Pappy have to see this?

Everything's screwed up, Dad .
Everything's shit, Dad .

There was this girl
who was there.

She didn't do anything .

She's gonna hate me now.

This just gets better
and better.

lt's okay.

You have to help her, Dad .

lt's all right, Asher.
l'll take care of her.

Don't worry about her.
She'll be all right.

There was no search warrant.
Thank God .

l also screwed up
with school , Ma.

l'm gonna have to go back.

You're failing
your senior year?

You're a bright kid ,
for God's sake!

l just couldn't get into it.

What the hell can you do?
Sell drugs?

Let's face this, all right?

We have all been
in our own little worlds.

lt's gonna stop right now.

We're a family. We're gonna
figure this out together.

Figure what out?
This and school and --

And everything else.
That's right.

Asher, you're not a kid anymore.

You got to find out what
is important in your life.

What do you love?

And you let nothing
get in the way of it.

Asher, listen to your father.

He knows
what he's talking about.

Oh , God .

Who's calling you now?

l don't know.
This is probably a patient.

Hello?

-Mrs. Gromberg?
-Yes?

This is Mrs. Hodgeson .
ls Eli with you?

He disappeared
from the dance tonight.

ls he in there?

Yeah .

You are staying here
with us tonight.

l don't want you
out of my sight.

Where should l sleep?

Why don't you sleep
in your old room , with Eli?

You've got a lot
of talking to do,

but in the morning .

l couldn't take
one more surprise tonight.

Good night, honey.

l'm going to bed .

Good night, Mom .

Good night, boys.

What about me?

What about you?

Where do l sleep?

Couch .

Yeah , yeah , yeah .

What are you doing?

l was getting in bed
with my wife.

Are you out of your mind?

Aren't things confusing enough?

We have two kids.
Both of them weird .

Very weird , Alex.

One is a drug dealer,
and the other is --

What's Eli?
He's what?

l don't know
what the other one is!

But, Alex, do you
want to work at this?

Really work at this?

Yes, l do.
Yes.

Will you see her again?

No.
No, l'm not --

l wasn't seeing her.

Beck, l got sidetracked .

At the office
and the soup kitchen .

And l wasn't paying attention .

Life.

lt's always getting in the way
of us, isn't it?

Yeah .

The couch .

Oh , Rebecca.

The couch .

Alex.

Yeah?

ln the morning , there are
three things you can do.

You could get our son
a good lawyer,

find us a marriage counselor,

and you can wash the dishes
in our kitchen .

l love you , Beck.
Good night.

l love you , too.

What the hell
are you doing , Dad?

lnsulin .

Your mother used to do this.

You gonna be comfortable here?

ln the war, l slept
in blood-filled trenches.

Hope you don't mind
if l join you .

No.
You take this couch .

Thanks, Dad .

Still in the doghouse?

Well , Dad , l thought
we'd relive my childhood .

All those nights
we went out camping together?

Yeah , l remember.

Oh , yeah .
ln your dreams.

You were a pain in the ass.

We had a lot of nights out
together. Didn't we, Dad?

You should have seen him .

He was seven feet tall .
Huge. Like The Rock.

When he swung his board at me,
l put my fist right through it.

Broke it in half.
A Tony Hawk, too.

When he got up,
he charged at me.

But l just went like this,
and l kicked him .

Then l went. . .

Right in his mug .
Laid him out.

Smack in the kisser.

Good night, boys!

Good night, Eli .

Good night, Pappy.
Good night, Dad .

Night, Dad .
Night, Pappy.

Good night, Mom .

Good night, Mom .

Good night.

Good night.

You'll never know
how much l love you

How many verses
do you know, Dad?

lt's a lullaby
that puts me to sleep.

lt's keeping me awake.

Bro, what's that bracelet
all about?

You get that for taking care
of your lady?

E . , man ,
that's a good thing , buddy.

Wish l had done the same.

And if l tried

l never could hide

l guess l'm not the father
l thought l was.

Got one kid
who could be in the can .

And the other one.

There's something about him .
l don't know what it is.

When we were kids,
Stephen and l ,

we got in trouble with the cops.

Really?
You never told me that.

Selling booze
that fell off a truck.

We did okay, too.

Dad , l'm thinking
about leaving the firm .

l want to try
public office again .

l waited 1 0 years
to hear you say that.

Really?

Well , maybe this time,
you'll vote for me?

Not a chance in hell .

And if l tried

l still couldn't hide

My love for you

You're not planning on this

becoming a permanent
arrangement, are you?

Don't worry!

The doctor says l only got
a few good years.

Don't worry.

You went away...