All language subtitles for cheers.s04e16.dvdrip.xvid.ffndvd

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Cheers.

Yes, ma'am, right away.

There's some lady
screaming her head off.

What does she want?

I don't know.
All I could make out was "two-timing."

Sam, telephone.

Woody, listen up
and learn something.

Sammy here.

Oh, hey, I thought you'd like
those flowers.

Yeah. No, no,
that sounds like my note.

"Thanks for a wonderful evening,
Barbara. I had a great time."

Well, of course I know
your name's Karen.

You know, hey,
I see your mistake here.

You see, you didn't realise that,
to me, Barbara means Karen.

Well, because. Because...

Because "Barbara" reminds me
of Barbra Streisand,

and you know that song
about people?

Well, I am getting to it.

You know the line, "First be a person
who needs people"?

Well, who was the first person?

Yeah, all right, but the first
female person was Eve.

And who's the most
famous Eve of all,

but Christmas Eve, right?

Yeah, well, what do you do on
Christmas Eve, but you go carolling.

Right? No, I know,
your name's not Carolyn.

But after you go carolling,

what you do is, you Karen the gifts.

Karen. Yeah.

Well, apology accepted, sweetheart.
I'll talk to you later.

Hello, everybody.

- Hey.
- Clifford.

Well, Cliff Clavin is here
to bid you all glad tidings

and buy drinks for all my friends.

All right. What's the occasion, Cliffie?
New air-cushion insoles or something?

No, no, no.
Better than that, Normie.

My branch office voted me
Postman of the Year.

It's a very prestigious award too.

Only 267 given out in
the greater Boston area.

- We're very proud of you.
- Yeah.

Will there be a ceremony?

Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah.

As is traditional, to be held
at the gala Postman's Ball.

Yeah, unfortunately it's not
gonna be televised.

I hear it's blacked out
in this area anyway, so...

But I understand the postmaster
general is gonna make the toast.

Wow, a man of his position
helping out in the kitchen.

Only in America.

Excuse me, Diane?
Can I have a word with you?

Of course.

"l, Cliff Clavin, would be ever
so honoured if you,

a lady of exquisite
loveliness and taste,

whom I hold in the highest respect
and esteem,

would accompany me with your
presence at the gala Postman's Ball

on the 1 8th of this month.

You would be doing this
only as a friend.

There is no ulterior motive
or strings attached.

Thank you for listening."

- Cliff, I'd love to.
- You would?

Yes, but I have something else
planned that night.

It's all right. You know, just asked
on the spur of the moment.

I'm sorry, Cliff.

- No.
- I mean it. I am.

- Oh, poor Cliff.
- Why? What happened?

Well, he asked me to his
Postman's Ball,

and I had to tell him I already had
plans for that evening.

What plans?

My cheese club meets that night.

So you're gonna eat cheese
instead of helping Cliff out on this?

We don't only eat cheese.
We talk about eating cheese.

Come on. Obviously, it means
a lot to him.

All he wants to do is be seen
with a classy-looking chick.

Oh, I don't know, Sam.

Look at all the people who've
fallen hopelessly in love with me,

with only the slightest
encouragement.

- You, Frasier...
- Yourself.

- Well, perhaps I was being selfish.
- There you go.

- I'll talk to Cliff the first chance I get.
- Thank you.

Diane was crushed when she found
she couldn't go to the ball with me.

Well, what are you gonna do now,
Mr Clavin?

I'll just have to ask Carla.

Are you nuts?

Carla won't go with you.
She despises you.

Well, just because she despises me,

doesn't mean she can't spend an
evening dining and dancing with me.

Carla...could I ask you a favour?

What?

- Can we talk in the poolroom?
- No.

Carla, that wasn't the favour.

There's more?

What I have to endure.

Now for the kill.

Carla, "l, Cliff Clavin,

would be ever so honoured
if you, a lady of--

A lady...

...would accompany me
with your presence

at the gala Postman's Ball
on the 18th of this month.

You would be doing this
only as a friend.

There is no ulterior motive
or strings attached.

Thank you for listening."

Carla...

Carla...

Carla, this is
really important to me.

I know.

But think of me.

All right, look, Carla, you don't have to
dance with me and I'll buy you a dress.

- Nah.
- A corsage.

A hundred bucks.

- Nah.
- A VCR.

VCR?

Nice touch, but I'll have to pass.

Good Lord. Is that a tear?

Look, I think my greed is overcoming
your repulsiveness.

- I'll go.
- You'll go?

- Oh, Carla--
- First rule:

No physical contact of any kind.

But, Carla, I'm so happy,
I gotta hug something.

Okay, you can hug me for 5 bucks.

That's it.

My pleasure.

Well, got a date with Carla.

- Seriously?
- Are you kidding?

She fell for me
like a sack of cannolis.

Yeah, you gotta love them,
the little wenches.

Oh, Clifford, may I speak with you
for a moment?

Yeah, certainly, Diane.

I've been thinking about it,

and I've decided
to break my engagement

and join you in your evening
of triumph.

- You'll go with me?
- I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Normie, Normie, did you hear that?
Diane will go to the ball with me.

- I'm taking Diane to the ball!
- Cliff, Cliff.

Think just a minute, now.
What's wrong with this picture?

Sam, change for a 20?

What are you talking about?

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Well, I'll just have to have
a huddle here with the man

who knows almost as much
about women as I do.

- Sammy?
- Yeah?

- A word, if you will.
- What's up?

Well, I seem to have one
of those situations again.

You know, two dollies lined up
for the same evening.

Oh, well, does this have to do with
Diane, Carla and that postman thing?

- Yeah.
- Well, fair's fair. Who said yes first?

Carla.

Well, you just have to tell Diane
you can't go with her.

Make up some excuse.

Tell her that your girl cousin
from Michigan

is in town just for the day
and that you gotta take her.

No, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

No, she's already heard that one.

Clifford, I've been thinking.

Oh, yeah, you can't go, huh, Diane?
Hey, I understand.

Honestly, you're so insecure.

I was going to say that I thought
of the perfect dress to wear.

Sassy little strapless number,
very graceful for dancing.

With my hair up and a hint of jewellery
to catch the eye.

I'm going to make you very proud.

Now what, Sammy?

Yeah, this is a tough one.

Yeah, if Carla finds out
you asked Diane first,

you're gonna be dead
before you hit the ground.

Hey, hold on a minute.

All you gotta do is,
you gotta find Carla another date.

Someone better than you.

Hey, Sammy, Sammy,
you are a genius.

Well, thank you. Oh, yeah, listen.

When you talk to her about the guy,
be vague. Be general.

Don't get locked into
anybody specific.

All right. Vague. General.

Carla?

How'd you like to go to
the Postman's Ball

with a guy who looks like
Robert Redford and drives a Porsche?

Why aren't I going with you?

Well, see, there's this buddy of mine
down at the P.O.

You might have seen him in here.
He's been in a couple of times.

Well, son of a gun if he didn't say
he's got a big crush on you,

and, well, he wanted me to see
if you'd go to the ball with him. Now--

This isn't just some way of getting
out of giving me the VCR, is it?

No! No, no, no.
You'll get everything I promised.

Plus the bonus of not having
to go out with you,

which leads me to believe that this
guy is a bigger loser than you are.

Just forget it, Clavin!
What kind of girl do you think I am?

One who would like
a big-screen TV?

That's the kind.

Hello, everyone.

Good heavens.

- Miss Chambers, you look beautiful.
- Yeah.

- Thank you, Woody.
- Doesn't she? Boy, you know,

that just opens up the floodgates
to a lot of memories.

Why, thank you, Sam, but I don't
remember us ever going

to a formal occasion
while we were dating.

No, I was thinking about the girl
I took to my high school prom.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

Miss Chambers,
can I tell you something?

Sure, Woody.

You look like a hundred bucks.

Thank you, Woody.

Oh, what am I saying?
Two hundred.

Woody, you're turning my head.

Okay, a hundred.

Oh, look out.
Here comes your boyfriend.

Everybody, I'd like you to meet Lucas.
Lucas, the gang.

Right. He said hello. You see, Lucas
is sort of used to talking to himself.

Lucas, you wanna step on down to
the bar and have something to drink?

- Oh, Diane, you look beautiful.
- Thank you.

Oh, this is for you.
Just a little token of my affection.

Thank you, Clifford.

If you don't mind my asking, who is
this Lucas fellow, and why is he here?

Oh, well, we're gonna double
with him and his date...

...Carla.

Carla? Well, I guess
they're a match.

Although he does look like he's
been around a mushroom or two.

Oh, Cliff.

Gee, this is...

...big.

Big and beautiful.

Yeah, why don't you try it on.

Oh, no, no, something this big
and beautiful should be preserved.

Oh, don't worry about that, Diane.

That's guaranteed to last
through a 20-knot wind.

Sorry I'm late.
The baby spit up on my dress.

I had to buy a brooch
big enough to cover it.

Real diamond chips.
Seventy-five bucks.

What is whitey doing here
dressed like that?

Diane's the only date I could
scrape up at the last minute.

Oh, yeah?
What are you paying her?

- Transistor radio.
- A cheap date. I knew it.

Carla, don't you wanna
meet your date?

I thought he was supposed to look
like Robert Redford.

Well, he does from a distance.

Yeah, Mars.

And I think you'll soon find out
just why a planet came to mind.

Carla, I'd like you to meet Lucas.
Lucas, your date, Carla.

What did he say?

I can't believe it matters.

Well, I can see this is gonna be
a laugh a minute.

An evening with the stick, the nerd
and door number three.

You kids have a great time.

Good night.

Jimmy! Yo!

Well, you two seem to be
getting on pretty well.

Yeah, well, I sure hate to have
to admit this, Clavin,

but tall, dark and gruesome here...

...turned out to be a real groove.

Not a great dancer, though.
He mashed in the toes of my shoes.

I'll bill you for a new pair.

I don't believe this.
You should be buying me a VCR.

Just wait a minute. You're not gonna
welsh on our deal, are you?

Carla, come on, will you?
You're making out like a bandit here.

At least you're getting
some loving tonight.

Boy, I made the wrong choice
between you and Diane.

What did you say?

I said you and Diane
look really choice tonight.

I see. So where is the stick anyway?

She's just going to freshen up.
She'll be out in a couple of minutes.

You know, I never would have
thought it. You two.

What are you talking about?

Look, I shouldn't be telling you this,

but when you two guys
went to get some punch,

Diane told me that she wished
you'd come on a little stronger.

In fact, she said that she wished

that you would do the one thing to her
that no man has ever done.

I mean, not even Sammy.

- The one thing that makes her crazy.
- What? What?

Just out of curiosity.

Run your fingers
up and down her arm,

Iook into her eyes and sing "Misty."

Sorry to hold you up.

Well, let's be on our way, Clifford.

Clifford, I want you to know
that I liked your speech best.

Out of all 267.

- Really?
- Absolutely.

Listen, Diane, I want to thank you
for keeping up the act tonight.

You know, staying by my side.

It wasn't entirely an act, Cliff.

I think tonight was the first time
I saw you with your guard down.

You were yourself, not some
mutation of Sam Malone,

trying to impress people
with tales of sexual exploits.

Women don't really like that, Cliff.

They want men to be
sweet and vulnerable.

Then how come Sammy
always scores?

Because he's gorgeous.

I mean, he has low standards.

He'll go out with any floozy
who comes down the pike.

Speaking of pike,
how come we're not on it?

Well, I wanted to take
the long way home.

Yeah...

...I just had the time
of my life tonight,

and I don't want it to end.

I just want to feel the night wind
in my hair

and share the company
of you good people.

I think it's wonderful, Cliff.

Yeah, I think tonight was
a real breakthrough for you.

Perhaps we've seen the end of the old
insecure, arrested adolescent...

...and we're seeing the emergence
of the real Cliff Clavin.

- What?
- Darn.

- What? What's wrong?
- We ran out of gas.

Well, the gauge reads half full.

Yeah, yeah, it always reads half full.
It's stuck there.

I guess in the excitement of the night,
I just forgot to fill the tank.

Well, what are we going to do?

We're miles from a gas station.

Look at me

I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree

And I'm clinging to a cloud

I can't understand

I get misty

Just holding your hand

Walk my way

Get out.

- And a thousand vio--
- Now.

Yes, ma'am.

Diane, look, I'm sorry.
You don't understand.

I don't know what happened
to me tonight.

The wine must have
gone to my head, Diane.

Look, you know I hold you
in the highest respect and esteem,

and I would never, ever do anything
to upset you.

Well, running out of gas? Really!

- Well, we did run out of gas, Diane.
- Clifford.

Well, look, would a sign
from God convince you?

Maybe.

All right.

Almighty God...

...please, if I'm telling the truth about
this car running out of gas tonight,

Iet it start now, even on an empty tank.

Diane, hallelujah!

Oh, hallelujah! Diane! Oh, hey!

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