All language subtitles for You.Deserve.A.Lover.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
M_I_SForEver

Excuse me.

- Looking for someone?
- My friend.

Who?

Hello.

You OK?

Why are you here?

Are you serious?
What are you doing here?

- Why are you here?
- I just...

Why don't you pick up?
Why block me?

I just blocked you, OK?

Who were you with?

No way!

- Can you come down?
- Sure.

Don't do this.

I can't get an answer out of you.

You're seeing someone else.

Why didn't you say so?

There isn't anyone else!

I knew your needing a break
was a load of bullshit.

You're incapable of being alone.
Totally incapable!

She's nothing to me.

Give me my headphones back.

Shut up.

- Can we talk?
- Sure.

It only lasted 3 months.
I figured him out.

- You're an ex?
- Yes.

An ex of his, OK.

It didn't work out.
We're too different.

He felt bad yesterday.

I was a shoulder to cry on.

Or a fuck buddy.

None of your business.
You two split up.

He moved out.

Didn't he?

Not your business.

You came here!

Yeah, because he wasn't picking up
and I was worried.

He was talking about suicide.

I dug around
and found your address.

I wanted to see
if he was playing me.

I'm not a homewrecker.

He was sad,
and I was there for him.

- What happened yesterday?
- We talked.

And had sex?

None of your business!
I don't owe you an explanation.

Did you fuck?

Well?

Tell me!
A shoulder to cry on, huh?

Don't come here
and make a scene.

I've got to go.

A scene?
I was with him a year.

Can I go?
Sort this out with him.

I've a right to know.

Yeah, but ask him.

You and I aren't together.

Are you done?
Can I go get ready?

Thanks.

Good job!

- You happy?
- Get lost before I hit you.

What a joke!

Give me a break.
I'm gonna fucking hit you.

Seriously!
You fucking jerk.

YOU DESERVE A LOVER

- That isn't love.
- What is it?

It isn't love.
You're messed up.

What is it?

Love isn't being cheated on,
putting up with shit,

being with a liar,

a cheat,

a scumbag like him.

You like beating yourself up.

Forget about it.

I can't forget about it.

I've been through it too,
only it was worse.

He was 60, super ugly and fat.
He cheated on me,

stopped touching me
then dumped me.

How d'you get over that?

You go near anything under 60,
even 59 and a half,

you've no confidence
coz a 60-year-old didn't want you.

It's awful, just awful.

I wished the worst for him.

Same here.
I hope he dies.

I wanted him dead

but figured that was too easy.

Then I really hoped he'd get
some very slow illness

and not be able
to have sex and stuff.

Or something gross,

you know...

like that Ukrainian politician

who had some virus
and his head swelled up.

I can't get it out of my head.

Babe, it isn't love, it's your ego.

The fact is, we feel...

hurt when we get rejected.

And you feel hurt
when you're rejected because

it's your ego, babe.
You'll get over it.

Give it two weeks.
I'll show you how I was two weeks

after the old guy.

This girl is right!

Your old-school songs suck!

Be grateful!
You're getting a free show.

I don't come cheap either.
I've upped my fees.

I know very well

What you say about me

To your buddies

When I'm not around

I don't care

It don't get to me

I'm telling you

You're gonna pay!

It's too late for crying,
I'm tired of your illusory love

I don't wanna waste my time

Coz you're losing your mind

Quit promising me

Your undying love and marriage

Myriam's sleeping.

Why did you bring her here?

Why are you here?

What d'you expect me to say?

It's me.

- It isn't you.
- Don't.

Why are you doing this?

You ruin everything.

Why'd you come here?

Why is she here?
I didn't want to see this.

You disgust me.

You can't come barging in here.

Break it off.

Break off what?
This isn't the time or place.

Don't you get it?
You can't just show up here.

Who d'you think you are?

Stop, or I'll make your life hell.

- Stop fucking around.
- Keep it down.

Stop your...

Just fucking stop.

I won't let this go.

OK, got it. Understood.

- You OK?
- Yeah, fine.

Why are you here?

I wanted to see you.

Why?

Because I miss you.

My shoulders ache.

You're doing all right.

Like I have a choice.

Look...

I haven't replaced you or anything.

I'm just not coping right now.

So I can't cope with you.

And that girl,
she was like a band-aid.

Anyway...

I know you need time,
and I guess I do too.

I'm gonna make the most of it.

I'm off to Bolivia for three weeks.

Yeah?

Treating yourself to a trip?

It's just that...

I think it's what I need.

I need to be on my own...

to figure myself out.

Looking out for number one.

Don't.

Is this it then?
Not even a goodbye?

Goodbye!
What d'you expect?

How d'you want me to say goodbye?

Give me a kiss.

A kiss?

You come kiss me.
My back hurts.

Have a good trip!

Get your vaccines.

Go on.

I miss you.

I need this.

What?

I need you.

You're all skinny.

- Have you stopped eating?
- Yeah.

I've lost my appetite.

You're still beautiful.

Don't cry.

I'm just tired.

I should be crying, not you.

Yeah?

I've lost something.

It's what you wanted.

- You think I wanted this?
- Yeah, kind of.

This isn't like before.
What's the point?

I can't stop myself.

Don't.

You're leaving.

And this'll come back.

Stop.

- But I want you.
- I don't feel like it.

Swear you don't.

It's pointless.

I mean it.
Besides, I have an infection.

I don't care.

It hurts though.

I love it.

You love infections?

Just yours.

- What?
- Just yours.

It's when I'm stressed.

- You've already poisoned me.
- Yeah, right!

Give me the photos.

Where is he?

Bolivia.

His mother?

- Her name?
- Françoise.

- What's his job?
- Gym teacher.

His date of birth?

01/25/87.

Got a good feeling?

Yeah, I do.

I'm done.

OK, here's the 150 euros,

the jewelry and the groceries.

I trust you.

Let's go.

We're here.

Keep an eye out.

The other side.
What's the panic? Open it.

I'm stressed.

He isn't here, OK?

The evil eye is present.

Where's he sleep?

Hold my hands.

Close your eyes.

I found this guy from North Africa.

- And he's not a marabout?
- No.

He's a hadj.

- What?
- Seriously?

Carla Bruni took Sarkozy's sperm
and the hadj froze it?

I'm not sure about the technique

but I swear it's true.

There's a photo of him with her
on his cellphone,

shoulder to shoulder.

It's not photoshopped.

Why go to all that hassle?

What you need to do

to really make him fall apart,
like you want,

is forget about him

and fall in love with another guy.

He wouldn't care.

He would too.
You get over him.

- Where are you at with Remi?
- We're in touch.

He's harassing her.

He's gone away
but he calls all the time.

He can't even see you're hurting.
He thinks he's the victim.

That's the problem.
He's always down, depressed.

He's depressive.
You can see it in his eyes.

We saw a photo of him.
It was awful.

The woes of the world
on his shoulders.

He's a loser,
just forget about him.

Do you want to get back with him?

No way.

If you do,
I won't speak to you again.

There's no way.

That's for sure.

Cut out my tongue if I do.

I'm going to go.

- Stay!
- Where?

Just home.

If you go home, you'll brood.

- I've got paperwork.
- What paperwork?

You're so nosey!

Stay a while.

I've got paperwork to do.

What?

Paperwork or snooping on the web?

Because you can do that here.

He's got to be clear.

Either he's with her or he isn't.
He has to stop

messing her around.

She isn't a yo-yo.

She can't move on.

Excuse me!

Are you Asian by any chance?

Are you Asian?

Not at all.

Because your eyes, your dress...

You're really not?

What are you doing here?

I was with friends.

What are you doing later?

- Stuff.
- Stuff?

I see.

How about taking my number?
We could go for a drink.

Come on...

Look, take my number.
No strings attached.

You can delete it
as soon as you go.

You'll never see me again.

- What is it then?
- 06...

Take it down right.

- Sure?
- Yes.

09

72

89

93.

I'm Jonathan. And you?

Lila.

Nice to meet you.

Call me.

You said I had a choice.

Have a good evening.

Thanks, you too.

And I cook fab Asian food.

- I cook fab Asian food.
- Yeah?

You look so sad.

- Is it me?
- Course not!

You sure?

Even in the park

I noticed.

Really?

It's how I am.
Lots of people say that.

It's melancholy.

It is how it is.

Ever been in love?

Sure.

How do you know?

I can't explain it.

Mind talking about it?

No.

Why?

It's like you're avoiding the subject.

Not at all.

I don't mind talking about love.

The thing is,
you have such a beautiful smile.

So it's weird when you don't smile.

I don't like my teeth.

You don't like your teeth?

In any case,

who likes everything about themselves?

Some people do.

- Yeah?
- Sure.

They're not human.

They can't be human.

What don't you like about yourself?

My ears. I mean,

I didn't used to.

- Now you do?
- I love them!

It's really hard.
Ever since I was a kid...

people have been mean about them.

I've been called all sorts of names.

Kids can be so cruel.

Yeah, I've been called Dumbo.

"Are they hooked up to WiFi?"

There are even people, honest,

who asked me if I could hear better.

- Really?
- Imagine.

That's so dumb.

It's funny now, but as a kid

I wanted to have them done.

- Pinned back?
- Yeah.

And why didn't you?

Actually,

I was spotted

as a model in London.

At the time I had this huge Afro,
Jackson 5 style,

because I wanted to hide them.

And they shaved me,

right down to the scalp.
I was in total shock.

I could have cried.

And then, weirdly,

I ended up accepting them.
They're my strength.

I know I was spotted because of them.

It's Mektoub,
it was your destiny.

For sure.

- You want to help, huh?
- You won't let me.

No. To be honest,

it bothers me,
you make me nervous.

It's for you too though.
If you want the dish to be tasty,

go wait outside.

Outside?

Not outside!
In the living room.

If you want...

Seriously?
You're uncomfortable?

Honestly? Yeah.

All right. I get that.

- Get comfy, have a drink.
- I'll go wait.

Shout if you need me.

Will do.

Make yourself at home.

How many d'you want?

Of what?

Sleeping pills.

Don't you dare.

Or else?

- Or else?
- You'll see.

If you're good,
I'll give you a massage after.

A normal massage or an Asian one.

But one's dangerous.

Which?

The Asian.

Why? Are there extras?

You're just here for dinner.

That's the plan.

Do you like wine?

At the same time!

You asked if I liked wine,
and I asked you too but...

I meant something else.

You're more smiley
but you still seem tense.

I'm very relaxed.

- Is that so?
- Yeah.

You won't get a massage.

Never mind.

No, but seriously,

can I just do something?

I can see your back's hurting.

- Here?
- Your lower back.

I wouldn't say no.

Hang on.

Are you sensitive?

No. It's more the top part.

Around your neck?

Yes, it really hurts.

Is this an Asian?

- A what?
- An Asian massage?

It sure is.

Did your dad...?
That hurts.

You're tense.
I can feel tons of knots.

You're soft.

Did you sleep well?

Yeah?

- You OK?
- Yes.

Are you hungry?

I'm good.

Are you sure?

I'll fix you some waffles.

Would you like that?

Asshole

You OK?

- Good thanks. You?
- Fine. Hang on.

I was sleeping.

I look awful.

No, you're beautiful.

You're always beautiful.

How are things going?

Pretty good. It's...

It's like nowhere I've ever been.

What?

It's like nowhere I've ever been.

And I couldn't be more alone!

How are you?

I'm OK.

Taking it easy today?

I'm going to get groceries.

Who you cooking for?

Who you cooking for?

No one.

You're looking well.

Yeah, I'm OK.

Could be better.

Return it.

What?

Give my kiss back
if you don't want it.

Enjoy yourself.

I miss you.

Don't forget that.

Don't forget I miss you.

Same here.

- I'll call you later.
- Take care.

There's a big difference!

You hit on him every Saturday.

It's Lila.

Hey, Lila!

It's been ages.

You OK?

It's great to see you!

- You OK?
- Awesome.

- How's things?
- Good.

Doing all right?

You just disappeared.

I didn't just disappear.

When I got home,
you and your things were gone.

I warned you.

Three weeks earlier!
You dump people for staying out late?

I warned you for months:
"Baptiste, I'll leave you."

- I went out loads but...
- See?

I always came home.

You'd kick me out of bed
when I got home late.

Obviously.

I came home!

I was sleeping alone.

Some guys never come home.

I was part of the furniture.

You went out all the time.

You meant the world to me,
I always gave you everything.

If you'd been sick,
I'd have given you a kidney.

I'd have done anything.

Always over the top.

I'm not. Bullshit.

Wouldn't you give someone a kidney?

Maybe, yeah.

To little Anthony?

Cut it out!

She isn't sure.

If you'd realized,
you wouldn't have left me.

I knew you loved me.

- No, you didn't.
- I did, I knew.

I know you're a good person.

Remember what I said to you
before it was all over?

Guys like me, faithful guys,
you don't run into many.

- Words, words!
- You can't say that.

Alain Delon!

Alain Delon and you...

Patxi from Star Academy.

He's like Patxi!

Remember when he auditioned
for that porn movie?

- You gotta start somewhere.
- Porn star!

- Remember? He left.
- I needed the money!

At least I turned up.

He showed up.

But then he pulled out.

That's true.

- Why?
- You should've seen the...

Hello.

- What can I get you?
- A coffee, please.

Sorry.

Do you know that girl?

That girl, there.

- Do you know her?
- Yes.

I'd like to take her photo.

Taking photos isn't a real job.

Yes, it is.

Just go see her and say,

"My nephew, etc..."
Then I'll speak to her.

OK, but next time you shave.

I promise, tomorrow.

- Clean-shaven.
- Tomorrow.

Come on, then.

My dear Lila.

This here's my nephew.

Well, today...

he didn't shave.

That's OK.

Anyway, he's learning the ropes

and he'd like a photo with you.

No, not with you.
It isn't a selfie I want, Uncle.

- He wasn't listening.
- I'm lost.

You sort it out.
Turn up shaved next time.

- Nice and tidy!
- Yeah, you said.

Yes, OK but...

He's a pain.
He's always pissing me off.

He's a bit shy.

- So please...
- OK.

He's nice with customers, huh?

I want to study photography.

For the entrance exam,
I have to present a portfolio.

And I was wondering
if you'd agree to do a portrait.

To let me photograph you.

You look like someone I adore,
Frida Kahlo.

- Heard of her?
- Yes, sure.

Well, you look like her.

Not... Because she's a bit...
You're more beautiful.

- I'd love to.
- Really?

I've never done it before.

- That's OK.
- If it can help you, sure.

I'd love to.

Could we do it sometime soon?

Sure, I have time.

We'll work something out.

Can I have your number?

Sure.

Lila.

Thanks, awesome.
I'll text you.

If you like.

Thanks.

- I'd better go.
- Good luck.

You too.
Enjoy your coffee.

Is this it?

Hi. I'm not here to hassle you.

My best friend, Kahina.

Are you still in touch with Remi?

Yes, why?

- Me too. Well, not anymore.
- Oh yeah?

After you saw me,
I didn't break off contact with him.

He said you were crazy.

You didn't?
He said you had.

- He's a liar.
- He came over.

Since I caught him?

Let me explain.
He said you were nuts

and had tried to kill yourself.

"I'm gonna kill myself.
I love you.

"I want to make my life with you."

You were fragile, a difficult ex,
he had to tread carefully.

You were a ton of trouble, crazy.

- He said that?
- The guy was lying.

I was a witness.

He camped outside,

waited on my stairs with flowers.

He keeps sending me videos.
He's harassing me.

- Show her the pics.
- He came over.

- Look at them.
- And my call history.

The bastard's harassing me.

He's a total junkyard dog.

He called last week saying,
"You're the love of my life.

"My future is with you.
You're the one."

He said the same to me.

The guy is scum.

He swore he wasn't in contact with you.

He calls every single day.

He's a liar.

I've got a guy now
and I'm super happy.

He makes me crepes, writes poems.
That's a real man.

- I'm done with Remi.
- We're gonna deal with him!

If I unblock him,
he'll start calling again.

He's always calling.

He took you all for fools.

You're his little harem.

There are loads of us.

Thanks for warning me.

Can I tell him?

No. I want no contact whatsoever.

- The sicko will harass me.
- He knows it's over.

Is everything OK?
Are you sure?

Yes, fine.
Don't you worry.

I'm coming.

- We'll let you go.
- Thanks.

That's impossible.

It isn't. We found out.

I'm a star in this business.

I work for Carla Bruni,
I just ate with Emmanuelle Béart.

Maybe because Lila isn't famous,
you didn't do the max.

Sure you're clean?

What d'you mean?

Your energy.

If you cheat on him...

What?

If you cheat on him with other boys,

my thing won't work.

You have to focus your energy on him.

No offence,
but you never told us that.

I explained everything.

- Did he?
- Not that.

- What? I did.
- No!

You love him, want my help
but you date other boys?

What's that make you?

You're jerking me and him around.

You didn't tell us.

- It wasn't clear.
- You said you were in love.

I'm a star in this business.

A true star.

I spent Christmas with Carla Bruni.

I'm sorry,
but Carla Bruni, Emmanuelle...

- It's Lila it has to work for.
- We paid.

Get lost!

- Why?
- You're trouble.

I promise we won't do it again.

If you don't stop...

- Please.
- Get lost!

You're nothing but trouble.

- Beat it, you two!
- Come on.

Don't you stare at me!

- Thief!
- Your life will be hell.

We're gonna report you,
I swear, for breach of trust!

The state's on my side.

- Second-rate Harry Potter!
- Get lost!

I said to him, "You really hurt me.

"I felt like dying.

"And you didn't break it off with her."

Then basically he said,

"Because I didn't want to."

So I said, "Stop calling me.
You're dead to me. We're over."

I hung up, I blocked him.

- When is he back?
- Next week.

- Don't see him again.
- No way.

Anyways, I've blocked him.

It'll be the same old story:
"I felt so lost."

He can't reach me.
It's dead, finished, over.

Don't pick up, don't call,
don't email him or anything.

I won't, it's over.
He's gone too far this time.

It's gratuitous.
What did I do to him?

It's a good thing that girl told you.

For sure.
I thought he'd broken off all contact.

Or I'd have stopped
speaking to him ages ago.

He swore he had.

It's crazy.

Yeah, more lies.
What did I do to him?

I don't get it.

He's sick.

I have to go, I've got a dinner.

That's OK.

- Let's speak later.
- Thanks.

- I'll call you after.
- It's OK.

Love you.

Just go for three days.
Venice is beautiful.

There are gondolas.

The count's sweet,
his nephew's even sweeter.

Plus you get him,
she has the old guy.

- He's handsome.
- And he hardly talks.

Mine's 112 and never stops!

Yeah, he says to me,
"Ciao, mi amore."

Doesn't the jerk realize I'm a guy?

I've got work.

Take sick leave.

You're mentally ill.

He's right!

I'm mentally ill?

Yeah, you're not well.

My doc dishes out sick leave.

You won't get fired for it.

I can't do that to Geraldine.

Geraldine, Geraldine!

When she's got a fuck date, she goes!

That's true.

I feel sorry for you.
I mean, even Geraldine

fucks more than you.

True!

The girl's always at it.

She gives, gives, gives

and she's radiant!

- She's not depressed.
- She gives her ass.

So? At least she gives.

She literally glows.

But I'm telling you,

I didn't solicit everything
and everyone

for you not to show.
You've wasted my time.

- I never asked you.
- It's so you lose...

He's pimping!

- No way!
- He's a pimp.

Did you hear yourself?

"I set up the appointment."

He's done all the work.
We just have to fly.

It's a rescue mission.
It'd be criminal not to help you.

She's been down for ages.

Wanna stay that way?

Prostitution is Remi's thing.

Not ours.
We're just looking for love.

He's traveling the world
and you're down!

The bum only went to Bolivia.

I bet he's jerking off in a yurt.

Who cares!

He'd fuck a llama to pay his room.

Yeah, he's having fun.

Guys like him are gross.

Let's register you on the site.
He'll be back soon.

You can't be single.

Mr. Poppers will be home soon.

And believe me,

- it'll do you good to meet a guy.
- I have to.

Let me handle it.

- It's good for the ego.
- For sure.

To be treated like a princess.

- Take what's good.
- Someone I want to be with.

Just have dinner and go for a stroll.

I'm up for that.

Get ice cream, walk by the Seine.

I'm ready for that.

There'll be a guy playing the accordion.

- It isn't an Edith Piaf film!
- It happens.

But not in your head!

I'm up for that.
Register me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Send me a swimsuit pic.
- I don't have one.

Babe,

a closed honeypot is pointless.

No bee can get in.

And we want your honeypot
to be buzzing with bees.

Don't we?

The only bee she wants is Remi.

- Want a username?
- Use my real name.

You don't want one?

Usernames are cute.
How about Pussycat?

What?

Pussy Duty-free!

So cute!

They're slutty names.
Don't talk crap.

- They work!
- Act classy when you meet.

- If we told the truth...
- Remember Fatima the bag lady?

I got her out of the gutter,
and look at her now.

- She ignores you!
- She put Eleonore,

when her name's Fatima.
Now that's a huge gap.

This is just a nickname.

Obviously he won't call you that.

When he meets you,
he won't say, "Hello, Kitty Cat."

He'll ask you your name.

I'm a Cyrano de Bergerac,

my girlfriends' éminence grise.

Our ghostwriter!

But I get shafted,
there's nothing for me.

Actually I don't get shafted.
I wish I did.

He replies for me,
but as himself.

I'm like, "I'd never say that!"

I was telling this guy about my life...

Your pretend life!

Not her life.
And I got carried away:

- "I haven't had much luck..."
- Don't give me away!

He said, "I'll protect you."

"I want him!"

He was talking to me!

If we hit it off messaging,

maybe he'll be into me.

He'll turn gay
coz he chatted to a gay guy?

He thinks it's me!

I'm not gay,
I'm a person, bitch!

Look, I don't have a life...

I'm telling you,
no life and no more welfare soon.

Let me dream.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise.

Find it easily?

Sure. With the locator,

it's easy.

- You OK?
- Yes, fine.

I'm pleased to see

you look like your photo.

Sure. Why?

Because sometimes it's a bit...

- Of a surprise?
- Yeah.

How about you?
Do I look like my photo?

- Not disappointed?
- You're the same.

We'll just see how it goes.

I won't spend my life doing it.
I have other interests.

The good thing is I make

a great living.
Money isn't an issue.

So I can devote myself to my hobbies.

Do you have interests outside work?

Yes. I enjoy cooking.

Actually, I'm really

into photography,
film, video and stuff.

Know much about it?

Kind of.

I want to buy myself
a secondhand camera I saw online.

What's your specialty?

I don't really have one.

I like making pizzas,

bakery-style pizzas.

Otherwise I like everything.

Thick crust?

Bakery-style pizzas.

You should try them.

You make bread too?

Yes, bread and pastries.

I'm a tourier.

- What's a tourier do?
- He makes pastries.

Bread and pastries.

You OK?

Fine, yeah. Why?

- You seem kind.
- I do?

You're gentle.

The colorimetric space
you're working in,

if you can shoot log and so on.

Do you know what log is?

No.

Then there's the optics.

The camera's one thing
but the optics...

cost at least twice as much.

Want to go for a walk?

If you like.

I sat down here but...

Let's go for ice cream.

I love coming here.

I live nearby too.

When it's sunny...

- It's nice.
- People hang out.

One guy sunbathes in his briefs.

You always get nutjobs!

But the colors and light are great.

And it has a great latitude

and dynamic range...

Are you OK?

Do you know
what the latitude is?

No.

- Sorry.
- Basically...

In daylight,
if you have a window,

you can film both inside...

and outside.

Are you OK?

Sorry.

I'm totally lost.

- Are you interested?
- Sure.

But when you use all those terms...

That's why I'm explaining.

In fact, the latitude

enables you to see well

in situations with low and high light.

Are you OK?

I'm going home for Christmas.

To Corsica?

That's ages away.

I'm going because

we're going to learn

some prayers and things.

To cure or cast the evil eye.

Well, mostly to cure it.

Is there anything wrong with me?

I'm OK?

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

You're fine.

You can usually feel it.

The person knows,
if they're sick and stuff.

You have to believe in it.

My mom's friend even does fire.

- What?
- She talks out fire.

If you get a burn,
she says a prayer and it goes.

Your burn vanishes?

- If it's done right away?
- Yeah.

That's wild.

What about card reading?

I'm learning this year.

You never know.

We'll see each other again.

Is that a question?

Sure. I can't force you to.

Is your aunt an artist?

- Yes, why?
- I can tell.

The decor.

- What is she?
- A sculptress.

Should I take my jewelry off?

I'm ready.

You are?

I left my dress like this.

Great, that's perfect.
Go ahead.

Your head has to be there.

Like this?

I'll just switch on the light.

That's great.

We'll cheat here.

Hang on, sorry.
Awesome.

It's just for the illusion.

- And this?
- The shawl's great.

Do I stay like this?

What do I do?

Don't do anything.

Keep your head as it is
and look with that eye over there.

Like this?

Like this,
and you look over there.

Like this.

That's it exactly.

I forgot my necklace.

Damn.

- Can you manage?
- Sure.

Here.

We forgot the dress too,
I mean, the ring.

We forgot everything!

On here.

Here? Like this?

Tell me, OK?

What to do.

Just place your hand flat.

OK, sorry.

That's great.

Stay like that.

Beautiful.

I'll come around here.

I'll take one or two like this.

You have green eyes?

So they say.

Your hair's beautiful.

Who has green eyes?

My mother.

- You're half-half?
- Yeah.

What's your mom?

Polish.

Do you speak it?

No.

I don't speak Kabyle either.

You look like your uncle.

We're very different.

I'll take one last photo.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

- Enjoy your meal.
- Thanks, boss.

Awesome.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Is it over?
Or you aren't looking?

It ended recently.

Really?

Complicated relationship.

Why?

He looked elsewhere.

Several times.

When he had a girl like you?

Do you have a girlfriend?

It's a bit complicated, but yeah.

I do have a girlfriend

but it's on the rocks.

How come?

She's always jealous.

And it's a real pain.

How's that?

When someone's trustworthy,
you trust them.

You don't go picking fights.

She'll freak out
when she sees the photos.

That's different though.

I don't want any trouble.

I have enough already.

You have to reassure her.
If you love her,

it'll be OK.

I'm not sure I still do.

It's a period where...

we're still kind of trying.

But it's doomed.

It's totally obvious.

It's the same with all couples.

With everyone, in fact.

It was easier in our parents' day.

For sure.

They often married
without really knowing each other.

It wasn't as complicated.

So...

you haven't heard from your ex?

Actually, he's gone on holiday.

To Bolivia.

Supposedly to be alone
and find himself.

That's good.

When it's true. But he's lying.

Isn't he in Bolivia?

Yes, he is.
He went for three weeks.

But a week after he left,
I saw he'd downloaded a dating app

and was looking for local sex shops

and poppers.

Poppers?

Yeah, poppers!

Seriously?

What a kid!

The worst is,
he searched in several languages.

- The guy's motivated!
- For sure.

Spanish, Italian and English.

He searched for hotels too.

So hotels, dating sites, poppers.

Honestly, poppers!

Unbelievable!

That's a first for me.

I introduced him to it too.

He first tried it with me.

Only for him...

to go traveling and buy it
to have fun with another girl.

Damn!

OMG, I spat out my couscous!

Guys always disappear
without giving notice.

Once we've fucked, you're gone.

I brought my posse as usual.

Whose apartment?

Sergio's. My sister's ex.
You met him already.

She's always with rich guys,
the trollop!

I thought you'd never show.

Ali, Aymen.

He's my dancer buddy.

Here's Ali.
Sergio, this is his place.

Donia! How's it going?

It's been ages.

Let me introduce you.

This is Donia.

- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

- You're Lila?
- Yes.

Pretty name.

- I'm Sergio.
- Nice to meet you.

I'll get you a drink.

He's acting shy
but he's a mean dancer.

We're going for a smoke.

What's his name again?

I'm Sergio!

He looks high, though.

He looks like a druggie.

A typical middle-class cokehead.

He isn't bad though.

Yeah, he's a hottie.
He's looking at you. Go for it!

Hot, well-educated, loaded.
He's coming.

Hang on!

Lila, isn't it?

Want to dance?
I know you just got here but...

Why are you looking at them?
Need their approval?

No reason.

How about it?

Let's go dance.

I like him.

Even if you ain't got much money

You don't need a Lamborghini

Forget folks who need one to exist

As for you, honey,
Women are strong today

If you fall, you get up again

You're pissed off, huh?

Keep a positive mind

Even if it ain't easy

What's her fucking problem!

Get outta my space!
You're stepping on my toes.

I saw what you
and your sister were up to.

You've been provoking me,
jealous bitches.

Get back in your hole!

What's going on?

Calm down!

Get back on the street, slut!

Jealous bitch!

Go on, get lost!
I don't need the cops.

- Mouna, don't wreck my life!
- She shouted at me.

You're always wrecking things!

- So are you.
- We're finished, OK?

Where there are Arabs,
there's trouble!

They were so wild.

- They're hotheaded.
- No, wild.

Not hotheaded, wild.

Girls fight, scratch, pull hair, spit.

As you saw tonight!

Where's your friend?

- Who?
- Lila.

The girls left.
They don't like scum and trouble.

We're not into violence,
we're classy.

Got her number?

- What?
- Her cell number.

Why?

Pay me?

Yeah, OK.

I'll think about it.

What the...? Unbelievable!

Princess Jasmine.

Will you take as your husband

an old guy like me?

Just kidding!

- Totally!
- Take the flowers.

I look like a jerk.

Go on, take them!

It's sweet of you. Thanks.

- They're beautiful.
- Think so?

They were all out of lilacs.

You really pricked my curiosity.

So I got you roses.
You know, the thorns.

You're a rose.

That's what you are.

You're prickly.

You've got a world,
something inside you.

I get the feeling you and me...

already met in a former life.

We just click.

Do you want to go for a drink?

I just need to drop my bag
and these, or they'll die.

- OK. I'll wait here.
- Come up.

I can wait here if you like.

- Come on.
- OK, then.

D'you like the roses?

- They're super pretty.
- Cool.

Hang on! There's something
I forgot to do at the party.

You're beautiful.

What are you doing?

Not here.

- Yes!
- It's risky.

And more exciting!

But I don't have anything.

It's OK, I've got one.
Accidents can happen.

What's wrong?

Sorry.

That was a bit fast.

I was too excited.

It's OK.

Are you sure?

That was amazing.

What? It wasn't that bad!

Hey lovers,

did you get it on?

Yeah, but I'm afraid he'll do a Fabio.

Sergio?

Sergio, Fabio, same thing.
They're the names

of lousy lovers.

- They smash and dash!
- What d'you mean?

She hasn't heard from him since.

Who hasn't?

Lila.

You saw him?

Did you do it?

Thanks a lot.

They're family, it's OK.

Don't shout about my life!

It isn't your life, it's...

He's a friend now. It's cool.

A friend she fights over!

- He invites disrespectful people.
- I'm embarrassed.

Don't be, it's just us.

- He's right.
- Yeah, well...

We met up once, had sex.

No news since.

What? No news?

- That's right.
- How come?

Was it cool when you saw him?
Did he say he'd call?

He said he really wanted
to see me again.

Fuck!

I texted to see if he'd got home OK.

He never replied.

What did he say?

It's like we met in a former life.

He said it's like what?

We'd met in a former life.

You said that to me too!

They've been talking!

I'm not like her.

No! I'm no pacifist,
I'll destroy your life.

You said,
"It's like we're old soulmates."

Do you want to see Sergio again?

Why's he do stuff like that?

No idea.

The fact is,
Sergio isn't a guy who...

He's a kid basically.

We went out together and now...

he's family.
I really like him.

You sure do!

He hasn't grown up.

But I can only take
so many Parisian parties,

social events, coke, you know.

Fights?

He's mad at me
because I lost it with that girl.

- See what she did to her?
- Look.

Poor thing.

It still hurts.

She did that?

- With her nails?
- No!

With a plastic champagne flute.

She thought
she was in a Beyoncé video.

She threw the champagne at me

and smashed the flute in my face.

She left the mark of bitchery!

Put some aloe vera on it.

That'll get rid of it.
It'll heal fast.

I'm gonna play...

This was written for me.

That's right, sugar.

Watch out, here goes!

The rappers wrote it for me
so don't get excited.

Oh my Cinderella

You're out every weekend

And you like

hip-hop clubs just like me

Just like me

You're so beautiful

Being your Prince Charming is my dream

I'll show you.

You've got competition!

- What's this dance?
- The ventilator.

- From Senegal.
- You move right, up, down.

- Like this?
- That's it.

Why are you looking at me
as you're dancing?

Ghetto Cinderella

Stop looking at her, you!

I'm moving like that big slut

with big fingernails.

What about tonight?

You're in for a ride.

My baby.

Then what?

I'll give you some TLC.

Sounds good.

I'm a lucky girl.

Maybe.

Yeah, right!

Excuse me.

Hey.

What are you doing alone?

Nothing.

- What's your name?
- Lila.

I'm Rachel.

- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

I'm Bruno.

Do you come here often?

No, it's my first time.
It was a birthday gift.

That's cool.

We've been a few times.
We like it a lot.

- You're from the south?
- That's right.

The accent.

It's obvious.

Yours is stronger though.

I'm from the southeast,
he's from the southwest.

It's a gift for us too.
Well, the first time it was.

We keep coming back.
We like it here.

Paris especially.
We're swingers, you see.

There are some good parties,
so we come up regularly.

- Did I shock you?
- Not at all.

It's fine.

Are you with someone?

No.

How come?

It's complicated.

Do like us,
that way nothing's complicated.

We love and trust each other,
we're non-exclusive,

and it's all good.

Listen, we're here a while.
We could have dinner together.

It isn't my...

We've no ulterior motives,
we won't force you into anything.

It's to get acquainted.
We don't know many people.

It's always nice to meet new faces.

Up to you.

It's just to have a good time

- and a bit of fun.
- Why not.

Great! We'll fix a date.

You won't regret it.

This is so good!

The dessert is?

As tasty as your prick.

Want a taste?

I don't like mixing.

You soon will, you'll see.

Stop it.

Stop it!

Hold on.

I wanna be fucked in the ass.

- What's making you so hungry?
- This, I guess.

It's just so good.

I'll just lie like this.

Stop it.

What?

- Excuse me.
- Are you into girls?

No, it isn't my thing.

Are you sure?

Sure, sure, sure?

Sure?

Doesn't look like an outright refusal.

Sometimes when you take the plunge,
you feel an incredible,

really intense joy.

Philosopher Bruno!

Yes, Bruno sure is.

When it comes to sex.

Sorry, I'll deal with it at once.

We're gonna get told off.

Would you mind being more discreet

and speaking quietly?
You're upsetting our customers.

All right.

I'm gonna slug her.
She won't know what's hit her.

Calm down.

We'll be going then.

Since we're bothering everyone.

Wanna go fuck?

The three of us?

Incorrigible.

Hey!

OK, that's enough.

What?

What are you doing?

First of all I want to say sorry.

I've never said so to your face.

I know I acted like an idiot.
That's why I took off.

I know why you took off.

I was all over the place and...

Yeah, I know the score.

I know that.
You told me before you left.

Then I find out
you're still in touch with Myriam.

What's this?
Now you've got a new guy...

What are you talking about?

What new guy?

What d'you mean?

Is that why you're distant?

I got a new guy just like that,
and everything's easy!

It isn't easy.

I'm not you.

- You don't know me.
- Don't!

Dating sites, poppers,
five-star hotels...

I'm not here to argue.

Neither am I.

- I didn't know you were back.
- I still love you.

I want us to get back together.

I made a big mistake.
I think of you all the time.

That's what you wanted.

What?

I dunno, it worked, I came back.

As if by magic.

See you then.

- I'll drop you home.
- There's no need.

- You can't walk.
- I'm fine.

You look like a gypsy!

Cut it out!

Don't.

How's your love life going?

Nowhere.

Nowhere?

You?

- Nowhere.
- Your girlfriend?

No more girlfriend.

Really?

How come?

Like I told you,
we weren't getting on so well.

When you don't get on,

you can't love the person.
I told her so.

She took it pretty badly.

I'm not surprised.

I had to be honest though.

What else could I do?

So she said, "Let's break up.

"Maybe we'll miss each other."

I won't miss her.

That was a bit brutal!

Anyways.

Yeah, love's complicated.

It isn't easy.

- I've got something for you.
- What?

I'll finish this first,
like the big pig I am.

You've got chocolate everywhere!

- Really?
- Do that.

There.

My hands are clean.

Be right back.

Here you go.

"For my Lila, my little Frida,
you deserve a lover."

What is it?

It's beautiful.

It got me into photography school.

Remember I said I was applying?
Well, I was accepted.

That's great.
I'm happy for you.

I put "you deserve a lover" because

she wrote a poem of that name
and it reminds me of you.

Frida Kahlo?

I didn't know she wrote poetry.

It goes something like this:

"You deserve a lover
who gets you up in the morning

"and drives away the demons
that won't let you sleep.

"You deserve a lover
who makes you feel safe,

"able to take on the world
when he walks beside you,

"who feels your embraces
are perfect for his skin.

"You deserve a lover
who wants to dance with you,

"who goes to paradise
when he looks into your eyes

"and never tires
of studying your expressions.

"You deserve..."

- You OK?
- It's beautiful.

"You deserve a lover
who listens when you sing,

"supports you when you act like a fool
and respects your freedom;

"who flies with you
and isn't afraid to fall.

"You deserve a lover
who takes away the lies

"and brings you hope,
coffee, and poetry."

It reminds me of you.

- Really?
- Frida Kahlo to the core.

It's so beautiful.

I read it to you because I know

you're going to be happy
and have a partner who loves you.

You'll be on the same wavelength.
It'll be wonderful.

Sometimes love just takes time.

- You're still young.
- Sure.

Chalk it up to experience.

For sure.

It's in the past.

Things will get better, Lila.

Thank you.

It's so pretty.

Who can that be?

What's this?

- Get lost!
- Hang on.

- Get lost!
- Look at me.

Who's he?

- Tell me who he is!
- My lover. Happy now?

- Him?
- Yeah! Now get lost.

Get out of here!

You two are pathetic.

You walk him to school?

Go to your whores!
Get lost. Get lost!

- Get out of here!
- He's your lover?

Get out of here. Go!

Just go.

What? You're bawling!

- Just go, man.
- Tell him to leave.

Go on, go.

I wanted to see for myself.

Think of me when you walk him to school.

Get out, get out!
Don't you get it?

I'm sick of him.

I've had enough,
I can't take any more.

I can't take it.

I really can't.

It'll be OK.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull