All language subtitles for Winter.House.S03E05.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH[eztv.re]_track3_eng

- Previously, on
"Winter House"...

- Yeah!
- Let's go!

- There she is.
- Hi.

I don't wanna say that
I'm not excited to see Kyle,

but I'm with him 24-7.

- Everybody is excited
to see you.

- You met Alex, right?
- Yeah.

- I've been hooking up
with him.

- I love you for that.

- Not, like, serious,
just fun.

- Has she had, like,
a rebound since the breakup?

- Who?
- Danielle.

- I didn't know
she went through a breakup.

I had no idea.

- Dude, she was, like,
living with her boyfriend

for two and a half years.
- Yikes.

- Hello.
- Gorgeous.

- All right.
I'm going down.

(BLEEP) off.

- So, how many different girls
did you fall in love

with you last night?

- Casey-- she started talking,
like, techy and nerdy to me,

and she's smart as (BLEEP).
- Yeah.

- Rhylee!
[cheering]

- I can never hook up
with someone named Katie.

It still feels disrespectful
to Katie, my ex-wife.

- She actually normally
goes by Floody.

Relinquish the past
and move forward.

- Oh, my God.

**

* One two three come on *

[cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

- Should we let these hoes out
or leave 'em there?

- Oh, my God.

- No.
[hiccups]

[cheering]

[hiccups]

[cheering]

- It happened. It happened.
It happened.

- He's probably tell you guys
that I kissed him.

Let's get this ----ing
record straight.

He kissed me.

- It just happened.
I found a straggler.

- Aww.

- One minute, you're just
sittin' there, laughin'.

Next minute, your tongues
are locked, and I liked it.

[cheering]

- Kory, you made it!

[sighs]

- I'm gonna take a nap.
I love you guys.

I'm taking a nap.

- No, you're not gonna
take a nap.

- No, you're not taking a nap.

- Did you say, "Nap?"
[laughing]

- Hold on.
- Get it. Get it.

- I'm sorry.

- Will you take a cute
picture of me, please?

**

- You all right?
- I wanna tell you somethin'.

- Let's walk outside.
- Really?

I just don't wanna be
in a relationship.

- Well, good.
- We had a full make out sesh.

- Was it good?
- Mm-hmm.

Now, I feel like he's having
the, like, makeout

and then the, like, freakout.

- What if you like someone
who you don't wanna be

in a relationship with?
We don't need this.

- Well, that's called--
that's called sex.

- No. She captures
the essence of, like,

an early '90s supermodel.

- What is this?
- I don't know.

- There's a selfish side of me
that wants you and Katie

to just--
- I can't.

- It's not even sex. It's--
- I can't.

Her name is Katie.
I can't.

It's like a slap in the face
to my ex-wife.

I don't regret the kiss.
It was awesome.

But, like, at the same time,
I guess I'm worried about

the optics of it.

I don't wanna hurt
my former Katie anymore,

you know.

- Gina said that you made out
with someone.

- That's not bullsh--.
That's true.

- What's her name?
- Her name is Kate.

- Why?

- I'm gonna tell her
to change her name.

[laughing]

- Calm down, Alex. Here we--
- (BLEEP).

- Bend over?
What the (BLEEP)?

- Okay, I'm good. I'm good.
That was an accident.

- Sure.

[phone ringing]

**

- I have to go check on Rhylee.

- I wanna go take
a picture right here.

- I like to hang out with you.

Can I go pee with you?

- Get it out.
Pee faster.

Pee faster. Pee faster.
- We gotta go. We gotta go.

- Okay, thank you.
- You good?

- Yeah.
- Good night, chica.

- What's up?

Get up.
It's not like that.

- I really hope
something else happened,

and they didn't
just pee together

because if another girl
peed in front of you,

that means you
friend zoned yourself so hard

that there's no coming back
from that.

- That is amazing.

- I kinda wanna see outside.

- All right.
Let me get a coat.

- And a scarf.
It'll be less cold.

- My scarf happens to be
in here, so that's perfect.

- Oh, damn, she just
whips it out like that.

Look at this.

- No, they ----ing don't.
- Should we?

- I think you should,
and I should watch.

It needs some lubricant.
You can't just go dry.

[laughing]

Alex's baseline personality
and the foundation in which

he has been formatted as a human
is flirtation.

- How does my ass look?
- Amazing.

- Thanks.
- He may not be my man.

He has found a hookup.

Amazing, happy for y'all,
but that doesn't stop me

from interacting the way
that we've always interacted.

Girls need flirty things
that aren't going anywhere, too.

- I think
if you go down next...

- Absolutely not.

- Where the (BLEEP) did
you go?

- Attempted to sled.

**

- Can I see you guys,
like, hug?

- Okay.

- I've been, like,
kinda obsessed with this

since I've been here.

- Well, we knew that was
gonna happen.

**

- Take it easy.

**

- Hey!

- Jesus ----ing Christ.

- All right, queen
. Hang out with me at least.

- Can we sit down?

- I was having a moment
by myself, but, yeah,

we can have a moment.
- I know.

No, have a moment with me.

I feel like you want me to feel,
like, guilty about something.

- I just don't like
being disrespected.

If you're having sex with me,
you're not having sex

with anyone else in this house.

- I've kinda been, like,
flirting with the same person

since I got here.
- Okay, so, then keep doing it.

- And then me and you were,
like, out of field.

- Keep doing it and
hitting a-a dead end.

- At one point,
Danielle was encouraging me

to continue flirting
with Jordan.

- She's obviously starting
to feel a little bit jealous,

but I only really
ever argue with somebody

I'm in an actual
relationship with.

I'm glad you're here.
I'm glad we're here together.

Nothing has to be weird.
- All right.

Then let's just
not have sex anymore.

- The solution is not having sex
even though

this entire argument started
because you wanted to have sex.

- I just don't understand why
this conversation is happening.

- Just now, you were like,
"Stop talking to Jordan."

- I'm not doing that.
- You just did it.

- What we're not gonna do,
is, like, make--

paint me to, like,
be this person that I'm not.

- There's no painting.
- No, this is--

this could be clearly squashed.
- And you were like--

- You're not gonna do that.
No, no, no, no, no.

- Oh, don't walk out.
That's immature.

- Why would I-- like, that's--
no, you're immature

for even, like,
trying to, like, do that.

- Okay, I'm immature.
- I've been having a great time.

- I keep making out with you,
and then I'm like,

what else do you want me--
what else do I--

- I've been having a great time,
and now you just made it

a bad night because of what?
- What else do I need to do?

- Find out, like,
how the world works

because, like, this is not it.
Jesus ----ing Christ, bro.

- I can't help it.
I have to clean.

- Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna go downstairs.

- ----ing idiot.

- Oh, my God, Katie,

you slid in the door
like Kramer.

- Yo!
Nasty!

- Should we go upstairs?

- If you can do less of
what you're doing, right now,

I'd be really happy.
- I know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
- Do you really wanna deal with

all the ----ing
bullsh-- messages

that you're seeing, right now?

- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- And hop.

- Oh!
And she's on cue.

- Get out of my way.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Ahh!
Did you just do a cartwheel?

- Hey, are we done?
- No, I'm just cleaning.

- Help me.
- All right. I got you.

I got you.
- I really actually like him.

- I know, he's --
- My heart is, like, fluttering.

- Wait.
- What's up?

- I just saw you guys
through the window.

Where did the other girls go?

- It was a one-on-one
with Danielle,

and it got really ----ing ugly.
- Wait, why?

What happened?

- Jordan is kinda flirting
with me,

and Danielle is like,

"What the (BLEEP)
are you doing?"

- Yeah.

- It's a little intense
for me.

- He's not gonna ruin
my ----ing good time.

That's for ----ing sure.

- I love Danielle.
I'm good friends with Danielle.

- Yeah.
- And she is very cool.

- I'm-I'm very attracted to her.
That's why, like--

- Men prove themselves
to be the worst.

- Honestly, I'm not looking for
a relationship at all.

- I think she's beautiful.

Like, I've-I've been into her,
like, pretty much

since whatever,
our hot tub night happened,

but it's like
I don't need that, right now.

- Sorry, I'm going in
the hot tub because

you thought you were gonna
----ing ruin my night.

Well, you have
another thing coming to you.

- What?
- Not you-- him.

- Oh.

- Danielle just got out
of a relationship.

Like, as of two weeks ago,
finally felt like

it was officially over,
and a rebound

after a serious relationship
isn't as, like, light and easy.

Like, you kind of expect
a little bit of the same respect

that you got from
your partner.

- Hey, Amanda, Alex.

- Danielle is pissing me
the (BLEEP) off.

- Coming up...

- But are you gonna
come back?

- Maybe.

**

- Danielle is passing me
the (BLEEP) off.

- Can we just lay down
for a second?

Obviously, me and Jordan
have been flirting a lot, too.

- You need to, like,
cut that out.

Wait, Kyle, come sit.

- What happened?

- Okay, Danielle is pissed off
at me because I keep

not wanting
to have sex with her

and hang out with
my friends.

[laughing]

- I just got here.
[sighs]

Danielle, I'm
trying to get out.

Wait, I was trying so hard
to get out.

- All right.
I'm so cold.

- Gonna go with this one.

- Katie, you're chugging
olive oil.

[laughing]

- Eww.

- I don't know if you
did anything wrong

or if she's just trying to
get through her breakup.

- I swear to you
I'm a pretty conscious person.

- Oh!
- Later.

Oh, okay, we'll
check with you later.

- Oh, wait.
Before these girls yell at me,

let me ----ing
clean up the stove.

- Oh, come on.
- I'm so sorry, babe.

- Okay, do you want me
to leave you?

I'll leave you alone.

- I want snuggles.

- You gonna, like,
freak out about that?

- This is so you don't
yell at me in the morning.

Ow!

- Tom, have a moment.
Have a mental ----ing breakdown.

I don't give a (BLEEP)
what you need to do.

[laughing]

Do whatever the (BLEEP)
you need to do.

- I don't know.
For some reason,

it feels, like, completely
disrespectful 'cause--

- Why? Because your ex-wife
is called Katie?

- Yeah.

- I don't want
a ----ing mojo, Tom.

Oh, my God, why do guys
always think

it has to be about sex?

I couldn't tell you
the last time I actually

crushed on somebody.

Yes, obviously,
I've dated people,

but, like, this situation
I almost feel like

a little giddy schoolgirl.

Like, it's kinda
cringe to me,

but then, if anyone needs
fun and flirty, right now,

it's ----ing Tom.
Like, let's get real.

- Good night, guys.
I'm off.

Love you.
- Good night. Love you, too.

**

- I wish I could
punch something.

I would love
to punch something.

- Did you fart?

- Just put on white noise
and shut up.

**

**

[snoring]

- Lemon water?

- I need some hydration
in my life.

[groans]

- Hi.
- How are you?

You okay?
- I'm good, man.

I had an odd night.

- Dude, can we do
a therapy session?

- I'm here if you
need one.

[coughing]

- What's the matter?
- I think I'm really dehydrated.

- Do you want water?
Did you get your water bottle?

- No, I lost it.
I don't know where it's gone.

- I filled it up, and I put it
outside of Schwartz's door.

- I don't know
if someone took it.

- I know we're just here
having a good time,

and it's
our positivity bubble,

but, for some reason,
I couldn't, like,

let loose.
- I saw the-I saw the effort.

Sh-- was hot.

- Just have
a conversation with her.

Be kind and gracious
like you are,

and everything will be okay.

- You'll figure it out today,

and then there will be
no stress.

- Oh, I can't smell
your breath.

It's gonna make me vomit.

**

- Good morning.

**

Did you guys stay up
pretty late?

- Don't remember.
- Oh.

- Don't wanna remember.
- Uh, actually,

it wasn't a late night.

- Someone needs to download me
on what happened last night.

- There was stuff going on
between me and Alex.

- Were you guys arguing?

- Yeah, something happened.
I don't know.

- Are you and Alex
hooking up?

- Yeah, a bit.
- Oh, okay.

- Oh, my God,
your first fight.

- G'day.
- Oh, perfect person.

- Oh, my God,
just the lady we need.

- We're hoping that maybe
you could piece

some things together for me.

- I think you're
the missing piece of the puzzle.

- I think you guys got into,
like, a little kerfuffle

that you both
kind of chalked up to, like,

each other being drunk.

- Oh, perfect, then we can
just mosey on past this one.

- I'm just here to support
her bad bitch era,

and if she gets
a little jealous,

we're just gonna pretend
that she didn't.

It was a blip on the radar,
and we're back to having fun.

- I think it'll be fine.
- I think we'll be fine.

- Is this yours, by the way?

- It's, uh, Katie's probably.

- Okay.

Hi.
- Oh, my drink bottle.

Oh, my God, I've been
wanting this.

- Sorry I was a lackluster
cuddle buddy last night.

- It's all right.
How are you feeling?

- I'm good.

[sighs]
- Nothing is fitting.

Nothing is hitting.

I said nothing is fitting,
and nothing is hitting.

What the (BLEEP)?

- Hey, good morning,
Schwartzy.

- Oh, my God.
- Hi.

- Good morning.
- We drank whiskey last night.

- Yeah.

- What time did you
go to sleep last night?

- Um, what time
did we get home?

'Cause that's when
my hit the pillow.

- Oh, there he is.
- Good morning.

- What's up, baby?

- I heard upstairs,
I got coffee,

and Danielle was up there
and said that

she and Alex, I guess,
got into a little tiff.

- Why?
- I don't know.

- Oh.

- We're young.

- It's 11:11-- 11:11.

How'd you sleep?
- Like a brick.

- By the time I got down there,
you were just straight like...

[imitating snoring]
- Sorry.

- I, like, laid down
for a second,

took off all my clothes,
laid down.

- You did?
- Yeah, and then I was--

I was like--
I just had you in my ears.

[imitating snoring, laughing]

- It wasn't part
of the plan,

but I find myself wanting him
to, like, be around me,

like, uh, someone
who I could talk to.

Damn it.

Feelings-- shove 'em down.

I'll talk to you later.

- Yeah, I am.
- Okay.

- Sex and feelings--
I just--

I wanted them to be
separate,

especially after
what I've gone through.

And now, they're kinda
coming closer together.

I feel so bad.

- Brian's room is-- wow.

- Hold on.
Stop touching.

- Oh, sorry.

- I'm trying to recruit
people for tonight.

- Yeah, I gotta call
my friends to hook up.

- Hotties only.

- So, it's just gonna be us
and, like, two people.

- Question is, how should
we, like, present this house

to our fellow guests?

- Exactly how it is.

- Really?
[laughing]

- I think we literally
invited every single person

in this town to
our Wild, Wild West party.

- I realized last summer
just how good I look

in a cowboy hat.

I mean, dude, look out,
Kid Rock.

There's another
----ing king in town.

- I'm the furthest thing
from a cowboy you'll ever get.

- We'll see what
Steamboat has got.

- Yeehaw!
Let's go!

- Oh, my God.

- Come in.

- How you guys feeling?
- Pretty rough.

- Hey.
- I'm back where I belong.

- Casey, you bit my ass
so hard last night.

- Yeah, you chomped down
on my left ass cheek.

[laughing]

- Why are you leaving?

- I have to go back
and just check in the bar.

We just opened.

Maybe check in with
my buddy, Tom.

- Have you spoken to him
since you've been here?

- I texted him, but I
haven't talked to him.

I'm taking--

um, we're taking a break.
- Where is he?

No, I think that's good, though.
- We're on a break.

I need a break from Tom.
- I think you need that.

- And I think he should
shave his mustache.

As time goes on,

and I inch closer and closer
to having to return to L.A.,

my anxiety is creeping in.

It's rap-tap-tapping
at my doorstep,

and I know it's
a little melodramatic,

but, you know, it's coming.
It's inevitable.

I have to go back,

and I have to film
the reunion.

Who did you kiss
last night?

- No, I kissed nobody.

- I think me and Floody
kissed.

- Yeah, you guys
definitely kissed.

- Yeah, we kissed.

It was like being in
high school, again.

- That is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever said to me.

- Katie just wants
to cuddle.

- Floody.
- Floody,

Floody, Floody,
Floody, Floody.

- You're gonna have
to get over this.

Do you just wanna
rename me?

He's like, "Yes."
- He's like, "Yes."

- He's like,
"Yeah, I kinda do, actually."

- Marie, your middle name,
doesn't really fit you.

- Please don't tell me
her name is Katie Marie.

- Um...

- Oh, for (BLEEP) sakes.

- Katie Marie?
You gotta do it to me?

This is the universe
----ing with me.

- Holy sh--.

- It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.

- Coming up...

- Take some Brian
pheromones.

All of you ladies that
shut me down,

look at me now.

**

- Are there any real cowboys
comin' to this party?

- I think so, honestly.
- Oh, great.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go
to the hat shop.

Maybe recruit a few more.

- Oh, God, I'm starving.

- Something smells good.

My boy, Jason, is
gonna come through

in a couple of hours.

- I haven't seen him
since Vermont.

- Oh, wow.

Super psyched that Jason
is able to join us.

He joined us up in Vermont.

He's always, like, the calm
in the middle of the storm,

and he's like, "You know what
nobody is thinking about?

What are we gonna eat
for dinner?"

- Kyle, do you have--
- Just hold it.

- There you go.

- This trip, I eat
what's on the kitchen counter.

- Oh, my God, Kyle!

- Kyle!

- This is what we're
dealing with,

but, like, I can't do
two weeks of this.

- Danielle wants to go

to get, like,
cowboy hats and stuff.

And I was gonna go with her.
You wanna come?

Okay.

- Is it this room?

- Wanna wear jeans today?
Oh, no, I can't.

I won't. I refuse.

- Ah-ha-ha-ha.

- Are you drinking today,
or are you that--

feeling that hang-xious?

- Well, it sounds like I need
to tread very lightly.

It's a short trip, man.

So, if I run into this again,
that's kind of scary.

- It's all good, right?
- Yeah, we're square.

- Just need deodorant.

[burps]
- Yeah, Katie!

**

We're walkin'.
- Let's go!

Where's my people? Hold on.
- Right here. I'm your people.

- No, but you're one person.
- I'm all you need.

- Kyle and Tom!

- We're coming.
- Do I have my wallet?

- Go.
- Let's hit it.

- Black car.
- Shotgun.

- This is a squad here.
- Cool.

So, yachties, we are--
- We're in charge.

- And by "we,"
I mean Katie and I.

- Yeah, yeah.
No, I would be a minion.

- Hannah the ski instructor
just texted me.

Hannah is bringing
three friends.

- Oh, oh, I liked Hannah.
- Yeah.

- Okay, so, what happened
in everyone's night?

Who made out last night?

- Yeah, it was you.
I saw it.

I saw it.

- [indistinct] Pizza--
what is that?

- I know.
I wanted to eat there.

- Let's get some shopping done.
- Yeah.

- It's like
my favorite pastime.

**

- Saturdays are for
the cowboys.

- Oh, wow.
- Wow, it's a proper bar, too.

- Yeah.
Yeah, this is incredible.

There's a lot to take in.

- I definitely want
a custom hat.

- Okay, perfect.
- Not my first rodeo.

- Uh, it's
my first cowboy hat.

- Oh, well,
we'll break ya right in.

**

And then I have
the really large brim,

but I can cut that down.

- I like this color, though,

but I don't know if
it's too similar

to the one I already have.
- Yeah.

- Hello.
Can I pick you up?

- I might grab this one.
It's 450 just out the gate.

- Wait, that fits you great.

- Are we getting
friends and family

since you're coming
to our party?

- A hundred percent.

- The friends
and family discount?

- Yes. So, what do
I wear to this party?

- Literally that.

- Clearly, you might be
best dressed there.

- Work attire.

- So, is that a type
of turquoise?

Three hundred bucks?

I feel like she would
rock this, actually.

I'll get this for my
situation-ship.

**

- Stewies, get in here.

Decorating committee-- we are
gonna decorate this room.

We gotta put all of the, like,
cans of alcohol

in the snow for people to grab
and just, in general,

maybe make the place look
a little nicer.

Okay, I'm in go mode.
Let's go.

- I live in California.

- I have, like, a phobia
of the ocean.

Skateboarded and snowboarded
my whole life,

but I'm terrified
of sharks.

- True.
- My mom did this to me.

- Finally, found the bar.
- Yeah, dude.

- Girl, I'm so happy,
right now.

- Well, clearly,
she is, too.

- How amazing? Like,
the vibes in the house,

like, I just, like,
I'm not joking.

Like, I looked around
last night, and I'm just like,

this is a squad.
- Immaculate.

- This is a squad.
- Dude.

- The reasons I love
the vibe so much is,

no one is fighting
amongst each other.

- I've been renting houses
for a decade or more.

- You would know. Yeah.

- It's rare to go this long
without a blowout.

[laughing]
- Oh, we just jinxed that.

- I don't wanna jink it. I know.
- I just jinxed it.

- We live in
this house together,

and there's just never
any bad vibes,

you know,
and I love that,

but it just sucks that I'm
striking out left and right.

You're like an ogre.
You have layers.

- Did you just
call me an ogre?

- No, but, like, "Shrek,"
like "Shrek."

- Oh, no.

- No. It's, like, too much?

- Yeah.

- I can't wait
to have kids.

- Maybe we'll see
what happens in a year.

You know, I usually do well,
so I know what I'm capable of.

I'm not all talk,
no walk.

I can walk.

I don't know.
Get 'er done?

Spread 'em.
No, that's not good.

[laughing]

- Let's try it on,

even though I already
spent way too much money.

- That's so sick.

- It's over $1,000.
Let's just say that.

- I'm kind of obsessed.

- You're leaving tomorrow?
- Yeah.

- You're almost-- how do--
how I wanna phrase this?

You have, like,
this beautiful smoke show

that's totally into you,
and you're, like,

kind of putting up
your own little roadblocks

'cause you don't
think you're ready.

- Ready.
- Well, it's name prohibitive.

- Hmm.

- I can't do that
to my ex-wife.

- If it was a different name,
it would probably be

a different situation.
- It'd be a different--

totally different situation.

- It makes me sad
only because, like,

you're such a good guy,
and you feel guilty.

- Yeah, I do feel guilty.

- You're, like, basically
cockblocking yourself.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- How long are you gonna
let that past, like,

drag you down?
- Maybe, like, another year.

[laughing]

- Coming up...

[doorbell ringing]

- Hi!
- Hi!

Guys, I'm no longer
a token kiwi!

**

- Yeah, I'm gonna put
the snow on top.

- Alex, you're on the fire.

- Yeehaw.

- Where do we want this
horse?

- Who has enough air
for this?

- I'm not blowing up
others today.

- Oh, we've got a funnel!

**

This is hard.

- There's a ----ing horse
in the living room.

Jordan, are you gonna
set up a deejay station?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, did you get your stuff?

- I did.
- Hell yeah.

- I've always loved music,

and I deejayed a little
in high school.

My ex-boyfriend
was a deejay.

He was the first person to
really teach me what to do.

I love how sound
sets the mood.

- Where are you gonna set up
your, um, deejay stuff?

- Definitely inside.
I'm not trying to freeze.

You gotta set the vibe.

It's not just
about the tunes.

It's about the ambience.

It's about how it
makes you feel.

So, I call myself
the vibe director.

- All right. I'll-I'll carry
your bag, Danielle.

- Got all my stuff.

- Bye, guys.
Thank you for everything.

- Bye.
- Thank you.

- Bye.
- Thank you so much.

- Yo, Jason is on his way,
so we gotta hustle.

- Oh.
- All right. Let's go.

- We gotta give Jason
a proper greeting.

- Bye.

[chuckling]

- Oh, wow, they've outdone
themselves this time.

[laughing]

[doorbell ringing]

Well, well, well, look at this.
- What's up, bro?

- How you doin', brother?
- Good, man. I'm Alex.

- Alex, Jason.
- Pleasure to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, as well.
- Let me help you with the bag.

Girls.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- This is Jason.
- I'm Katie. Welcome.

- Katie, thank you.

- Hi.
- I'm Jason.

- Nice to see you.
- Jason!

What up, baby?
[laughing]

- There's some energy.
Missed this guy.

- Yeah. Yes, sir.

You're looking fresh.
- I sent Katie to bring the--

- Are you having fun out here?
Better than Stowe?

- It is. You know, I think
we pretty much did everything

we could in Stowe.

- Cheers to Stowe,
and here we go.

- All right. Here's to Stowe,
and here we go!

Let it rip.

- Did Kyle just steal
Jason's toast?

- I just said it louder.

- I mean, this has been
our dance floor.

Just the countertop has
literally been the dance floor.

- I've-I've got
the urge to move.

- I've been
very reserved this trip.

Sam and I are
seeing each other.

It's been very tempting
and many of times where...

[chuckling]

I'm like,
oh, sh--, just-just go.

Just go in your room.
Lock the door.

[laughing]

Brian just texted me
and said he got here.

So, I think the rest of
the crew just pulled up.

- Well, let me get some
more shots ready.

[laughing]

- You can't turn a ho
into a housewife.

- Look at me.

Kyle managed.

- Oh, sh--.
[laughing]

- Hey!
- Well, well, well.

- Oh, my God.
- Who is this? Let's go.

- This guy.
- Good to see you, brother.

We actually met in
New York a couple years ago.

I'm definitely pumped
that Jason is here,

but he's a 6'3", like,
chiseled good-looking dude,

so another ----ing guy
I have to compete with

in the house.

(BLEEP).

- Up to no good.
- I know.

[laughing]

- We got Jason. Jason,
you got your western best?

- Nope.
- Yee ----ing haw, baby.

- Great.
- I'm, like, yeehaw.

[laughing]

- Floody, hey,
I got you these.

- Stop.
You're the cutest.

What did you buy?
- I got this.

- Oh, that's cool.
- It's the, yeah, real deal.

- Wow, that's a really
thoughtful thing.

I'm definitely not
used to guys, like,

being considerate enough.

Wow, this sounds terrible.

I really need to sort out
my dating life.

It's weird 'cause I'm
actually interested in,

like, a decent human being,

a bit of a mess
of a human being,

but a decent human being.

These are so cute.
Thank you.

Um, okay, let's go get a drink.
- I'll see ya up there.

[sighs]

- Wow, I feel like I should
leave you guys alone.

- No.

- Okay, what are you wearing?

- Uh, okay, so, I'm thinking
these black shorts.

- Yep.
- With this, like, tied.

- Wait, can I tell you
something really cute?

- What?
- Look what Tom got me.

- Oh, cute!

- That is cute.
- A man buys jewelry--

just take it.
- Oh, no, I'll take it.

- Yeah.
[laughing]

- It's been taken.

**

- I love this ----ing coat.
- I like the pants, too.

Your ass looks fantastic.

[whistles]

- What is that?
- Tom, you look great.

You look so chic.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- You look chic.

- Western is a good look
for you.

- Yeah.
- I got your tequila.

- Oh, that's so cool!

- A canteen.
- That's badass. Yeah.

[doorbell ringing]
- Maybe it's the pizza.

Hello!
[screaming]

[laughing]

- Coming up...

**

- Is anybody else
seeing this?

Why am I experiencing this
by myself?

- Hello!
[screaming]

[laughing]

Guys, I'm no longer
a token kiwi!

[screaming]
- I didn't know you were here!

- Hi. I'm Alex.

Nice to meet you.
- Hi-- Aesha.

Nice to meet you. Alex?
- Alex, yeah.

- My fellow kiwi is here.
Amanda, this is Aesha.

- Hi. Welcome.
- Thank you.

- Let's get you a drink.
Let's get you a drink.

- This is so flair.
- You guys look great.

- I step into the house.
I breathe in.

And suddenly,
I'm pregnant and drunk.

- Hi.
- Jason, this is Aesha.

- How are you?
- This is Kory.

- I'm Kory.
- Hi, Kory.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hello, Jason.

- I'm not a token kiwi.

This is Kyle.
- I'm Kyle.

- Hi, Kyle.
It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
Welcome.

- Does anyone mop?
- We don't have a mop.

- No one mops?
- No, I can't. See?

This is another chief stew,
so she feels me.

- Oh, it's not that sticky.
- No, it's not sticky,

but it's disgusting.
- Did you just rub the floor?

- Yeah.
- You should wash your hands.

[laughing]

- Hey, guys, welcome
to my fellow kiwi.

Me and Aesha have
so much in common.

You know, we work
in the same industry.

We are both chief stews.

- We're both kiwi.

We both are in
Colorado this winter,

and we both slammed
a Liverpudlian

by the name of Jack.

[laughing]

- Oh, Jack.

- Except she was obviously
better in the sack than I was

'cause he tatted her face
on his arm.

I didn't get a tattoo.
[laughing]

- We'll get a drink and go down.
We'll go to my lair.

- Okay.

- We need little bottles,
the little banquet bottles.

[doorbell ringing]
Oh.

- Like this?
- I think that's the pizza.

- It's just pizza.
- Oh, it's just pizza.

- Okay, I should probably
help with that.

It looks a little weird
with you carrying it

and me not doing anything.
- I got your pizza.

- Oh, pizza!
- And we have wings?

(BLEEP) yeah.

- Wings, salad, pizza.
- Wow.

- That is so sweet.

- (BLEEP) off.
Is that you, Malia?

- Hi.
How are you?

- Hey, oh, hello,
gorgeous.

It's so nice to see you.
- Welcome.

- This is awesome.
- Yeah.

- How has Breckenridge
been? Good?

- Oh, my God,
it's so nice.

- Aesha and her boyfriend,
Scott, live in Breckenridge,

so she's really close by--
can just come on over.

- You guys work
together now, hey?

- We do everything
together. Yeah.

- Oh, what a beautiful union.

- Yeah, it's like we're
legit married now.

I was like, okay, this is how
I'm getting my green card.

- Yeah.
- I'm okay with that.

- You know what?
I was gonna--

I mean, I'll marry Scott anyway,
but I was--

we-we thought that we were--
we were, like,

maybe we should get married
for the green card.

But you have to be here,
like, every day for--

it was like 320 days a year--
- Like, two years.

- For, like, three years.

- You're like,
"I can't commit to that."

- It was like I'm not
committing to that. No.

- Aesha and I have been
out to sea together.

- Morning, girlfriend.

Thank you so much for
getting me onto the boat.

- It's all good.
Yeah.

You sometimes don't know
what to do with Aesha

'cause you're like,
did you just say--

yes, she did.
[laughing]

- Look at these
nice titties.

I just wanna put my finger
between them.

- I'm single, and I just
wanna kiss someone tonight.

I haven't kissed someone
in seven months.

- Shove your tongue in
something, girl.

[laughing]

Has there been
anything else to note?

- Have you told her?

- No, she doesn't know
anything yet.

- Oh, my God, tell me.

- She actually has
caught feelings.

- No, I don't know yet.
- You have caught feelings?

- No, I don't know yet.
We just started vibing.

Then I started getting this,
like, little crush.

I was like, oh, my God.
Like, I don't do this.

- Yeah, but, however--
- Oh, my God, how nice

is a crush, though?
- His ex-wife--

- His ex-wife is called
Katie Marie,

which is my name,
Katie Marie.

- What?
- I know. Yeah.

[sighs]
This name thing,

honestly,
it's just exhausting.

Like, I get how he feels,
but, like, I'm Katie.

Maybe it's just me.

You have to call me Floody

because it's a real
trigger for him.

- That is so weird.

- Hey, girl, damn.

- Okay, Floody, you could
be the next Scandoval.

You can be flirt--
Scan-Flood-oval.

- I don't wanna
be part of that.

Can we not put that out
to the universe, guys?

- Howdy, partners.
- Howdy, partner.

- What's up, man?
- Well, it's about time.

- Grace is the one that
hooked us up with the hats.

- What's going on?
- So it begins.

- Oh, my gosh!
Okay, now we have a party.

- I'm gonna go hang out
with my horse.

- Cheers, bro.

- Cheerio.

- It's giving
creepy looks.

- You're single.

- 'Ish.
- 'Ish.

Everyone has got
an 'ish sitch.

- Well, you know,
I think it's a conversation

that's never been spoken.

I haven't seen you
in weeks.

- I know.
Sometimes I, like,

get kinda weirded out.

I'm like,
I need to see you.

- Yeah, I'm like, when am
I gonna see her again?

- What's the pillow talk like?

- [scoffs]
Wouldn't you like to know?

- So, this is
Colorado pizza.

- So good,
and that's so good.

- Let's go!
Let's go!

- Oh, my God, Mike Anne!
[screaming]

Wait, Kyle, this is my really
good friend, Mike Anne.

- Oh, what's going on?
- Hi.

- Mike has lived here for,
like, the past ten years.

Oh, my God.
- Yay, this is my girl.

- I actually went to
school in Colorado.

I went to University of
Colorado Boulder.

If this house is
a positivity vortex,

Boulder is
a party vortex.

- Let's do a funnel.
- I gotta grab a beer.

It was super fun, but it
was not for the faint of heart.

I found one!
Success!

- Sorry to shoot you
before I met you.

- Love it.

- I don't remember
anybody's name,

to be honest with you.

- There he is.

- I just met a girl
named Stephanie.

I think
she's very primed.

- Well, it sounds like you
gotta get lubed up.

So, let's start with
a beer bong.

- I didn't get to finish
my whole, uh,

sentiment here.
[belching]

- Full sentiment.
[laughing]

- No, no, no.

You're already taken,
which is good.

More room for me.

You're taken,
which is good.

More room for me.
- Danielle has dibs.

- And you're taken.

- The full game
should just be out.

If I were you, I would go
outside of the house.

You have good-good odds.

- Yeah, for sure.

- Definitely
create a situation

that makes everyone feel
uncomfortable,

and the girls kinda pit
themselves against each other.

That's probably
your best bet.

[laughing]

- Coming up.

- Who is ----ing who?

- He won't penetrate me.

- Wait, do one of me now.
- Yeah.

See? This is what
I'm talking about.

- Yes, there is.
- No.

- Are you ----ing kidding me,
right now?

- Yes.

[cheering]

- What is that?

[screaming and cheering]

- Why does he get
more action than I do?

- That's a challenge.

- I'm offended.

- Is anybody else
seeing this?

Why am I experiencing
this by myself?

Okay.

Giving "Twilight Zone"
meets "Yellowstone."

It's like, what?

- What was that?

- You got some
hot girl action.

- You're so friendly.

Your personality
is like a...

- Take it. Take some
Brian pheromones.

All of you ladies
that shut me down,

look at me now.

You called me cute?

- Hey!

- Seeing Brian kiss
that girl, I mean,

confidence is sexy.

I could have totally done
some making out today.

Everybody wants
what they can't have.

- Introduce her to your family.
- Yeah.

- Steph, come here!

- Put them guns away.
Holster those guns.

Holster those guys.
- Holster. Holster.

- It was 500 bucks.

**

You're close with
Stephanie, right?

- Yeah.
- I love her.

I actually think I might
be in love.

I'm gonna go take a piss
right here.

[peeing]

[sighs]

Where did Stephanie go?
I lost her already.

(BLEEP).

- Vibe check.
Vibe check.

[burps]
(BLEEP). Shut up, you bitch.

- Savagely.
- So gross.

- Do you know how many times
I do that

on a daily basis?
It's disgusting.

- If someone farted in my face,
I'd be like...

[inhaling]
(BLEEP) yes,

but someone burping,
I ----ing hate.

- Why fart and waste it

when you can burp
and taste it?

- Yeah.
- True.

- Speaking of, I tasted
some tongue tonight.

[gasps]
- Wow.

- Oh, my God, who?
- What? When?

- Who?
- When?

- Fabio.

- Who is Fabio?

- But he, like-like,
aggressively, like,

attacked my teeth,
though.

So, we have to, like,
work on that.

- Oh.

- Schwartz, what the (BLEEP)
are you doing?

- Can I come in?
- You can come in.

- You're not going to bed.

- Guys, I just saw
Brian making out

with some girl, too.
- Yes.

- Brian is basically, like,
cheating on me right now.

- I don't wanna waste it.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Wait, can we sit down?
- Wait. So, wait.

So, is this who you're
trying to get with?

- Can we not sit down?

- Okay, no one is telling me
what's going on.

- None of us know.
- Who is ----ing who?

- Nobody is ----ing.
That's a thing.

- He won't penetrate me.

- Oh, no, that's not true.
That's not true.

- Why won't you penetrate
Katie?

- Oh.
- Oh, no.

- Floody! Floody! Sorry.
- Floody.

- Floody. I--

[sighs]
- Oh, God.

- Okay, anyway, why does my name
have to ruin the moment

every time?
I'm leaving.

I'm ----ing pissed off,
right now.

Either get the (BLEEP) over it
or don't do anything at all.

Which one is it?

- Horrible name.

- Hike!

- Next time,
on "Winter House."

- Guys, I got it.

[screaming]
- You Marcia Brady'ed her.

- I upset Danielle
at one point.

- I just don't want her
to, like, go off the deep end

with this Alex stuff.

- I'm gonna ----ing blow
this mother----er down.

- Okay, okay.

- Are you sad
about Tom leaving?

- I'm so sad.

- I've had so much fun
with you.

- I don't like that you
can't say my name.

- Katie,
could you help me?

**