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{\an8}The holiday season is here.
4
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,537
{\an8}And I've been knitting
the perfect sweater
for Ugly Sweater Day.
5
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,832
{\an8}Just so you know,
I don't think you're ugly.
6
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,917
{\an8}I could spend forever
in your arms...
7
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:45,546
{\an8}Your itchy, scritchy-scratchy
wool arms.
8
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:48,424
{\an8}So nice.
9
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,261
{\an8}Thanks, Urkelbot.
10
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,722
{\an8}Now that it's officially
the holiday season,
11
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,559
{\an8}this room feels
so November. Ugh.
12
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,352
{\an8}But this is the perfect time
13
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,313
{\an8}for me to try out
my newest invention.
14
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:08,068
{\an8}Steve Urkel Industries presents
the Decemberizer!
15
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,862
{\an8}With a simple flip of a switch,
16
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,072
{\an8}the holidays are
at your fingertips.
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00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,288
Oops!
18
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,099
Oh, no.
19
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,103
Oh! Bright lights.
20
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,277
♪ I love December ♪
21
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,822
♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪
22
00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:55,324
♪ From the first to the 31st ♪
23
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,202
♪ I celebrate
all that good cheer ♪
24
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,579
♪ I love December ♪
25
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,082
♪ I don't mean other months
are not great ♪
26
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:06,001
♪ I don't want them to feel
a way ♪
27
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,128
♪ But it's not up for debate ♪
28
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,130
Shh! Shh! Steve! Keep it down!
29
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,133
I can't keep it down,
my postal pal!
30
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,721
Do you know that I've been
waiting 334 days for it
to be December again?
31
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,100
And now that it's here,
I can't waste a minute of it.
32
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,644
♪ I love putting up
a Christmas tree ♪
33
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,063
♪ And hanging up a wreath ♪
34
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,983
♪ But I also love
a Kwanzaa feast ♪
35
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,318
♪ Flossing corn
out of my teeth ♪
36
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,779
♪ I love celebrating Hanukkah ♪
37
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,240
♪ Sometimes I get to light
the menorah ♪
38
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,076
♪ I love snowball fights
with my snow-bot army ♪
39
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,495
♪ This year
I'm coming for ya!♪
40
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,584
♪ There's so many great days
in December ♪
41
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,044
♪ It's hard to pick
my favorite ♪
42
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,922
♪ So I celebrate them
one and all ♪
43
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,258
♪ So I can really savor it ♪
44
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,385
It's just like that documentary
The Purge.
45
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,053
Everyone for themselves.
46
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:02,266
No, Mr. Kalan.
It's just Steve Urkel.
47
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,395
Oh, right. It's December.
48
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,148
♪ Oh, I love December ♪
49
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:11,275
♪ It's the number one gathering
of days ♪
50
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,777
♪ It starts on the 335th ♪
51
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,780
♪ Alternatively 336th
on a leap year ♪
52
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,617
Not if you use
a lunar calendar.
53
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,911
What? I'm just trying
to be inclusive.
54
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,079
♪ I love December ♪
55
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,665
♪ It's the best month
of the bunch ♪
56
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,043
♪ There's no fighting
on Boxing Day ♪
57
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,754
♪ But there still might be
some punch ♪
58
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,714
♪ Las Posadas is nine nights
of worship ♪
59
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,842
♪ Omisoka's day of cleansing
and fun ♪
60
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:41,055
♪ With the Festivus
for the rest of us ♪
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00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,556
♪ Oh!♪
62
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,517
♪ There's something
for everyone ♪
63
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:49,939
Steve! All the singing
and dancing is gonna
wake everybody up.
64
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,233
Everybody up,
everybody up, everybody up.
65
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,155
Well, not to quibble,
but technically,
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00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,616
you're being a lot louder
than me, right now.
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00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,160
♪ The holidays
have traditions ♪
68
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,704
♪ They shouldn't be forgotten ♪
69
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,290
♪ To not respect them at all ♪
70
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,668
♪ Would really be
quite rotten ♪
71
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,337
♪ It's not just about
presents and toys ♪
72
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,839
♪ These holidays
have meanings ♪
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00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,509
♪ They bring
families together ♪
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00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,095
♪ Despite their
political leanings ♪
75
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,639
♪ This season isn't
just a day ♪
76
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,350
♪ We decorate
a Christmas tree ♪
77
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,936
♪ We must never
forget December's ♪
78
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:35,067
♪ When we celebrate
the baby Jay-Z ♪
79
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,195
- Sagittarius
in the building, ho!
80
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,155
♪ I love December ♪
81
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,783
♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪
82
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,285
♪ From the first to the 31st ♪
83
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,663
♪ I celebrate
all the good cheer ♪
84
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,708
♪ Yes, he loves December ♪
85
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:53,002
♪ He celebrates every holiday ♪
86
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:57,715
♪ But that's still no excuse
for waking us up
on a Saturday ♪
87
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:02,928
Oh, good, you're up!
Happy holidays, Mrs. Paxson.
88
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,597
I'm looking forward
to your eggnog cookies
this year.
89
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,808
Uh, don't skimp
on the cinnamon.
90
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,601
Happy Early Hanukkah,
Mr. Kalan.
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00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,603
That's not a thing.
92
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:15,399
It's just Hanukkah.
And it hasn't started yet.
93
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,569
But that doesn't mean
you can't get a head start
on celebrating.
94
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:22,114
Anybody need help getting
holiday lights out of
a musty basement?
95
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,325
Kochiyama family?
I'm looking at you.
96
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,038
Steve, dear.
What we need is sleep.
97
00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,081
But, I let you sleep in
this year!
98
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:35,502
Sure, compared to last year,
when you woke us up
at midnight!
99
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,630
I just want this holiday season
to be the best it can be!
100
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,966
And that means we can't waste
a minute of it!
101
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,135
- As one of Santa's helpers.
- Steve?
102
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,637
One of Santa's
"unofficial" helpers,
103
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,931
I want everything to be perfect
for the big guy
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00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,683
when he arrives. It's my job...
105
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,226
Not your job.
106
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,728
...to make sure there's enough
good cheer spread
107
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,813
into every nook and cranny
of this month.
108
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,982
It's not
an English muffin, kid.
109
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,736
It's a month where we buy
more candles and wrapping paper
than usual.
110
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,906
Oh, I beg to differ,
It's Mr. K! Smell the air!
111
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,616
It's different
during the holidays.
112
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,494
Smells the same to me.
113
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,747
Like snow
and pumpkin spiced garbage.
114
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,709
You can't get that in July,
which is why Santa doesn't
show up in the summer.
115
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,045
He shows up in December
116
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:21,256
because Santa's drawn
to the lumens of string lights,
the pollen of mistletoe,
117
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:25,135
the euphoria of giving gifts
and higher concentrations
of goodwill.
118
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,387
I always assumed
it was the Christmas carols?
119
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,598
Those too.
120
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,726
Now who wants to head
to the mall for a little
mall-iday window shopping?
121
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,562
Steve, how can I put this
delicately?
122
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,523
- No!
- What he said.
123
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:41,944
Well, that was not the answer
I expected.
124
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:44,071
Here's a thought!
You all rest up.
125
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,240
Dream some holiday
themed dreams.
126
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,742
And when I get back,
I'll be going door to door
127
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,537
to test and untangle
everyone's holiday lights!
128
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,789
These holidays aren't gonna
celebrate themselves!
129
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,464
This package needs a signature.
130
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,466
I know you're in there,
Mrs. Paxson.
131
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,345
Go, get him!
Guard up on him!
132
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,515
He can shoot!
Oh! Time out, time out.
133
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,183
Steve! Wait up!
134
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,310
Hey, thanks for fixing up
the court man. It's amazing!
135
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,981
Aw, no sweat Jordan!
Well except for the sweat
on the court.
136
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,984
I'm glad that
my microwave powered,
137
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:24,153
climate controlled concrete
is a hit!
138
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:26,155
Microwave powered? Wait, wait!
139
00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,532
Is it going to stunt our growth
or anything?
140
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:32,744
Not at all. My Urkel Industries
patent-pending Clima-Crete
is perfectly safe.
141
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,333
If anything, it might make you
grow a few inches.
142
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,335
- Really?
- No.
143
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,754
You're probably never gonna get
taller than five foot ten,
144
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,925
just basing that on your
general bone density
and family history. Sorry.
145
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,929
Now Horace
on the other hand, whew,
you might hit seven feet!
146
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,515
Hey, uh, you should
take your jacket off
and stay a while.
147
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,309
As much as I'd love
to impress you
148
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,353
with this killer cross over,
I've gotta head to the mall!
149
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,855
It's a big day!
150
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:02,024
They're lighting up
the giant Christmas tree.
151
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,360
- What? They like plug it in?
- Yes!
152
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,655
Over two thousand
twinkling lights
and shiny ornaments!
153
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,074
I like to oversee
the stringing of the garland.
154
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,952
Make sure the popcorn
to cranberry ratio isn't off.
155
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,579
Do you get paid to do that?
156
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,624
No. It's sort of a
volunteer position I created.
157
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,585
It's tough and tasty work
but someone has to do it.
158
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:25,756
The city's gotta be perfect
for when the big guy arrives
on his sleigh!
159
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,050
Oops! I almost walked off
with the rock.
160
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,927
Hey Horace! No look pass!
161
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,447
Whoa? What! What the?
162
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,699
Steve! What'd you do?
163
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,701
You're always saying
how you want to make it rain
buckets on the court,
164
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,328
so there you go!
165
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,872
I built a rain machine.
166
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,376
Although I don't know
why you'd want to play b-ball
in the rain. It seems slippery.
167
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,880
But I guess that's how
the Splash Brothers
got started.
168
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,007
Did you know
the Splash Brothers
are not really brothers?
169
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,351
On, no... is that?
170
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:23,272
Doh, it's the holiday boy.
Nope. Not today.
171
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,982
He can catch the next bus.
172
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,236
Ah! There's something
wrong with this bus.
173
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,075
- Ah! Here! Let me help you!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Put me down!
174
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,493
I'm on a schedule here.
175
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,204
I need you all to scoot.
176
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,749
Thanks for riding the Metro...
You old weirdos.
177
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,418
- I'm okay.
- Phew!
178
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,503
Happy holidays,
Sheryl the bus driver!
179
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,630
Ugh! Holiday boy.
180
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,258
Take me to the Twin Ferns Mall
and step on it!
181
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:55,387
And by "step on it,"
I mean "drive safely and make
all of your scheduled stops."
182
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:56,805
Ugh!
183
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,474
And we're on our way!
184
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,269
♪ Dashing through the snow
on a city bus ♪
185
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,981
Nope! Not this year!
No singing!
186
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:10,444
I'm going to need you
to dial your energy down
to about a three.
187
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,404
Out of nine hundred.
188
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,531
Starting today,
the Twin Ferns Mall
189
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,410
gets its annual mall-iday
makeover!
190
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,620
Giant snowflakes hang
from the ceiling.
191
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,664
Tinsel everywhere.
192
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,709
Oh, there's nothing like
seeing the first fake snow
of the season.
193
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,252
Picking out a Christmas tree...
194
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,837
scented candle.
195
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,298
Ooh, I do love
a scented candle.
196
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:43,018
♪ The holiday spirit's
all over the mall...♪
197
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:46,897
Boy! If you don't stop singing,
I'm gonna make a call.
198
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,690
♪ From the fancy soap store ♪
199
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,567
♪ Exfoliate your pores ♪
200
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:55,072
♪ Smell like gingerbread
and apple cider!♪
201
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:58,492
I'm having some trouble
with a rider.
202
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,245
♪ The mall-iday season
is what I sing of ♪
203
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,957
♪ When department store windows
show mannequins in love ♪
204
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,877
Sheryl,
should we, uh, call the police?
205
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,337
No, no.
206
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,090
Just get him
to stop singing please.
207
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,718
♪ Showing off the best pants
for cold weather ♪
208
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:20,764
♪ While chopping down
a Christmas tree together ♪
209
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:25,852
♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
210
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,397
He got to you?
Jerry, you are such a traitor!
211
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:32,234
♪ Head up to the food court
and don't take too long ♪
212
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:34,319
♪ Or you'll miss
the first graders ♪
213
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,029
♪ Sing the dreidel song ♪
214
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,825
That is cute, okay.
But no! Stop singing!
215
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:43,495
♪ Now, if you are hungry
there's a store
that sells ham ♪
216
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:50,085
♪ And the Chef Shop
where they'll teach you
to candy a yam ♪
217
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,879
♪ While convincing you
to buy a multi-cooker ♪
218
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,923
Is that like a crock pot?
219
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,925
♪ Kinda sorta
but it's even cooler ♪
220
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,136
Why are you helping him?
221
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:03,390
♪ 'Cause it's a
winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
222
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:11,857
♪ The parking lot's got a rink
for ice skaters!♪
223
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,733
Now he got to you too?
224
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,112
♪ And last but not least
The true star of the show ♪
225
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:20,949
♪ Department Store Santa's
there to hear all your wishes ♪
226
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,119
♪ Right now my wishes
is for you to shush-es ♪
227
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,121
♪ His elves walk you
into his village ♪
228
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081
♪ And up to his sleigh ♪
229
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:34,629
♪ So you can have a photo
of a great mall-iday!♪
230
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:41,511
♪ 'Cause it's a winter
wonderland with escalators!♪
231
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:48,143
Come on, Sheryl,
don't be such a hater!
232
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,312
All right, fine.
233
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:57,402
♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪
234
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:04,993
♪ And ADA
compliant elevators!♪
235
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,915
♪ There's not much more
we can say ♪
236
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,919
♪ We can't wait
for the mall-iday ♪
237
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,884
This is why I don't like it
when you sing!
238
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,636
You get my hopes up.
239
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,471
I don't understand!
240
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,306
Where are the mall-idays?
241
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,601
Looks like
I'm finishing my route
after all.
242
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:33,522
Wait, is that a sale
at Tanya's Confidential?
30% off?
243
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,607
Excuse me!
244
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,859
Um, why isn't the giant
Christmas tree up?
245
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,903
Is it on the way?
246
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,155
Is it stuck in traffic
along with the giant
inflatable dreidel
247
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,991
that is usually in the
parking lot wishing everyone
a Chag Sameach?
248
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,202
Business has been slow
at the mall,
249
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,997
so they figured why bother
with a big tree and decorations
this year.
250
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,292
Wha? Santa is not going
to like this!
251
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:58,797
Oh! Don't worry,
we still got a tree. See?
252
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,382
Pretty nice, right?
253
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,009
A very merry mall-iday to you!
254
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:11,017
Where's the tinsel?
Where's the candy cane
colored clothes hangers?
255
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,686
Where's the apple cider!
256
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,105
It just smells like pretzels
in here!
257
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:18,108
Why hasn't the piercing booth
become a gift wrapping station
yet?
258
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,402
It's too cold to get
a nose ring!
259
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,826
Oh, thank goodness.
260
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,045
Welcome to Santa's Village.
261
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,880
Are you ready
for a holly, jolly time?
262
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,549
Is this place?
263
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,427
Where's all the tinsel?
The lights and fake snow?
264
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,762
It's the mall-idays!
Come on, people!
265
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,600
- Who are you?
- Steve Urkel.
266
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,893
I'm one of Santa's helpers.
267
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,814
Really? Then why am I
the one wearing a nametag
and dressed like an elf?
268
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,816
What? You're an elf?
269
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:03,528
I figured you were
some bored kid
with weird taste in shoes.
270
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,448
My shoes? Look at you!
271
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,450
Are you rocking saddle shoes?
272
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:12,495
Oh, I am. And when I click
my heels together,
they can do this.
273
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,873
Perhaps purple and gold
is more your speed?
274
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,460
Or maybe black and green?
How about red bottoms?
275
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,837
- Okay, those are pretty cool!
276
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,381
Thank you.
I created an LED leather.
277
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,092
I don't need to know
the science.
278
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,345
Just take the compliment,
Steve Urkel.
279
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,764
It's taken like bacon.
Nom, nom, nom, nom.
280
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,974
You're kind of corny.
281
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,477
Hmm, corn. Nom, nom, nom...
282
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,896
Okay, okay.
283
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,607
My name's Robin.
You want to meet Santa?
284
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,568
Well, to be clear,
Department Store Santa.
285
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,863
- You can just call him Santa.
- Oh, no!
286
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,698
There's an
important distinction!
287
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,242
Not to minimize the role
of the DSS...
288
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,285
DSS?
289
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,329
Department Store Santa.
290
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,873
It's more than a job,
it's a calling.
291
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,876
Department Store Santas
hear the wishes of children.
292
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,795
There's tall Santas,
short Santas,
293
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,713
Santas of every shape, size
and gender.
294
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,050
Department Store Santas
must be of the highest caliber.
295
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,637
With ears that can hear
the voices of the
shiest children.
296
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,847
They must have the nicest
of beards.
297
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:16,851
Not too long,
but not too groomed
that they seem aloof.
298
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,896
A Department Store Santa
has healthy knee cartilage
299
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,273
to provide support
for the husky child.
300
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,902
And a Santa suit so soft
it feels like a cloud.
301
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,279
And so red it can be seen
in the dark.
302
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,782
These heroes take up
the thankless mantle
303
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,076
that comes with sitting
in that sleigh!
304
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:36,079
I am honored to be
in the presence
of such greatness.
305
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:40,208
And a little bummed out
that there aren't more people
here to witness his majesty.
306
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:43,253
Hey, you there!
Gaze upon this greatness!
307
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,882
I'm gonna keep gazing
on these sales, but thank you!
308
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,009
Sheryl, what's your twenty?
309
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:55,724
Uh, the snow is really
slowing things down.
310
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:00,937
I'm [static noises] losing
you.
311
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:04,023
Can't [static noises] hear
anything.
312
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,573
Robin, I don't want to quibble,
313
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,491
but if you want to
impress Santa,
314
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,411
you might want to open
that gate with little more flash.
315
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,622
Let's take it again,
but this time with some pizazz!
316
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,459
Look, Steve, I get that
you're a fan of Santa.
317
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,296
- A helper of Santa.
- No. I am a helper of Santa.
318
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,256
Sure, the department store variety.
319
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,758
Boy, stop it!
320
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,135
You can go through
this gate and meet Santa
321
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,764
or me and these mall issued
jingly bells will pizzazz you
out of this place.
322
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,557
I'll go with the first option!
323
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,350
Cannonball!
324
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,352
Aagh! What's happening?
325
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,188
- The Purge?
- Hey there, big guy!
326
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,356
So great to see you
this year, DSS.
327
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,400
Now my name should be
on one of your lists.
328
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,028
Hopefully the "nice" one.
329
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,823
All right, all right.
Just slow down, kid.
Slow down, now.
330
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,867
Santa gotta do a few warm up
"ho-ho-hos."
331
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,285
Oh, sure, sure. Take your time.
332
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:02,165
Ho-ho-ho.
333
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:07,003
Ho...
Ho...
Ho.
334
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,882
Ho-ho-ho.
335
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,051
Okay, I got it.
336
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,845
Ho-ho-ho!
337
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,347
Eh...
338
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,641
Oh, gimme a break!
I'm a little rusty!
339
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,434
Got to come in here
for these ho-ho-ho's.
I don't get to practice them.
340
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,854
Now, what would you like
for Christmas, uh...
341
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,732
Steve Urkel, sir.
342
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,610
What would you like
for Christmas, Steve Urkel sir?
343
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,862
I only want one thing
this year.
344
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:37,242
One thing?
That's very considerate of you
to keep Santa's bag light.
345
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:38,910
So what is it?
A new video game system?
346
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,538
A puppy dog?
Please don't say world peace.
347
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,832
- Cheese!
- Are we taking a picture now?
348
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,627
No, I want cheese
for Christmas!
349
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,755
Hmm, cheese?
350
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:54,425
You thinking like
a grocery store cheese plate
with some charcuterie?
351
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,469
Maybe a cheese of the month
club type of thing?
352
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,557
Not quite. This year,
I'd like a taste of
one of the rarest,
353
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,309
most exquisite cheeses
in the world.
354
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,520
Ooh. You're a boy
after my own heart.
355
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,938
I like a fine cheese.
356
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,107
- Stop it! Stop it!
357
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:14,070
What are we talking about?
A stilton? A Manchego?
A nice camembert?
358
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,156
Serbian donkey cheese!
359
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,784
- Serbia who now?
- Serbian donkey cheese.
360
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,744
Do that sell that
at one of those fancy
grocery stores?
361
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,414
No.
You have to travel to Serbia...
362
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:27,834
Where you must take
a ferry to a small,
remote village,
363
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,713
there atop a mountain
that can only be reached
on foot,
364
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:37,218
lives one cheese monger
who has perfected the art
of milking donkeys.
365
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,596
Eww. Gross.
366
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:43,349
Which isn't easy,
because donkeys don't produce
much milk and they kick. A lot.
367
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,143
Let me get this straight.
368
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:48,313
You want cheese
from a tiny horse?
For Christmas?
369
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:49,898
- Yep.
- Whoa!
370
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,942
Serbian donkey cheese
is expensive!
371
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,819
That's more than
I pay in rent!
372
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,945
You sure you don't want
a puppy?
373
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,614
I can't. Allergies.
374
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,949
Aw! You're allergic to dogs?
375
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,035
No. Dogs are allergic to me.
376
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,162
The sound of my voice,
to be exact.
377
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:07,540
The decibel range is a little
too harsh for their sensitive cochlea.
378
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:11,419
Okay. Well, Santa will see
what he can do
about your cheese.
379
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,670
Oh! Robin!!
380
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,006
Okay. Who's ready for a photo?
381
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,841
Donkey cheese!
382
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,430
People are really missing out
on capturing a special moment
like this!
383
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390
Why is your phone so old?
384
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,893
It looks like it could be
my phone's grandmother!
385
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,438
Electronic waste is such a huge
environmental problem,
386
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,608
so rather than buy a new phone,
I figured it might be nice
387
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,152
to see if I could breathe
new life into something old.
388
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:40,323
Oh, sure.
Kind of like rebooting
an old movie or TV show?
389
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,991
Um...
390
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,248
Hey, I should post this photo.
391
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,876
Once people see me having
all this holiday fun,
392
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,962
they'll want to get their photo
with DSS
393
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,214
and that'll kickstart
a yuletide celebration
394
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,757
that will pique
Santa's interest!
395
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,471
Okay.
396
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:12,438
And just like that
we're viral, baby!
397
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,107
I'm an influenza!
398
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,734
You mean influencer?
399
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,820
Not when you're this viral!
400
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,030
I'm taking away my like.
401
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:25,743
Oh! Whoa, mama!
Guess who is going live
right now?
402
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:27,829
Dudley Von Durffel!
403
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,039
- The billionaire?
- The tech genius!
404
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,666
Who is a billionaire.
405
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:34,085
People call him
the "real life Bruce Wayne."
406
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:37,338
In that he has unresolved
trauma at the tragic loss
of his parents?
407
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,133
No! Because he's crazy rich!
408
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,261
The guy owns a yacht
that is also a hot air balloon!
409
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:47,056
No, having a yacht air balloon
isn't what makes him cool.
410
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:51,978
Dudley Von Durffel is cool
because he sees innovation
where others don't.
411
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:57,567
Hello! Wave emoji! Wave emoji!
412
00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:59,444
It's me, Dudley Von Durffel.
413
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,947
Just maxxin' and chillaxin'
poolside 20,000 feet in the air
414
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:06,367
and I figured why not check in
with my Von Durffollowers.
415
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,745
Is he bored and desperately
looking for connection
416
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:11,456
to feed the insatiable appetite
of his growing ego?
417
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,750
Ugh, thumbs down emoji!
418
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,127
I just want to get
to know my peeps, VDI!
419
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,511
Huh? Again?
420
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:28,639
Let's find someone cool
to interface with.
421
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:32,226
Ugh! Here's a person:
@steveurkel.
422
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,686
That's me.
423
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,022
How is your phone's camera
better than mine?
424
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:39,025
Hello, Dudley!
I'm such a huge fan!
425
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,152
I'm an inventor myself.
426
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,446
It appears he is a five time
winner of his state's science fair.
427
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,866
Uh, okay, well, I was
a nine time state
science fair champ.
428
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,535
- Boom!
- Wowzer!
429
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,538
Right? I want to give you
some advice, @steveurkel.
430
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,751
- Oh, just Steve is fine.
-@steveurkel... you need
to stop inventing.
431
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:57,835
What?
432
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,505
And start disrupting!
433
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,173
I've got to be honest, Steve.
434
00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:04,300
Disrupting things seems like
it could upset people.
435
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,260
Maybe @steveurkel's friend--
436
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:09,180
Facial recognition says
her name is Robin Robles.
437
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,057
You know that I'm not using
names anymore!
438
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,518
The future of communication
is handles! Okay!
439
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:17,230
On the socials I'm @robirob381.
440
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,607
Thank you! @robirob381.
441
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,193
There was a time when people
traveled everywhere
442
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,737
by horse drawn carriage, okay.
443
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:29,158
But then Henry Ford
disrupted all of that
with the automobile.
444
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,410
Does that make Henry Ford
a bad guy?
445
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:35,456
Not for the car stuff,
but definitely for some
of the other stuff.
446
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:37,875
Fair point... He was...
He was not a good person.
447
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,419
No. He was a real l-o-s-3-r.
448
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,713
Auto correcting.
He means "loser."
449
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:45,216
Inventing is giving people
what they want!
450
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:48,594
Now disrupting is grabbing
people by the collar
and yanking them
451
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,304
into the future! Yeah.
452
00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,223
Huh? what do you think
he means by... Help!
453
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,311
♪ When a great idea's
inside your head ♪
454
00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:59,772
♪ You rush to write it down ♪
455
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,275
♪ Now you might misspell
a word or two ♪
456
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,610
♪ But the genius
is what's sound ♪
457
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:07,280
♪ Sure, you could move
real slowly ♪
458
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,074
♪ Dot every "i"
Cross every "t"♪
459
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,076
♪ But all that
quadruple checking ♪
460
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,912
♪ Doesn't cut the edge
of technology ♪
461
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,123
♪ You can't wait to see
who's ready ♪
462
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:19,500
♪ Can't ask "Is this okay?"♪
463
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:22,253
♪ Just make something amazing ♪
464
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:24,797
♪ That'll blow everyone away ♪
465
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,175
♪ And when you start
to build it ♪
466
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,677
♪ You don't want
to be delayed ♪
467
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,221
♪ You gotta get it
to the people ♪
468
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,473
♪ Give their lives
a big upgrade ♪
469
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,434
♪ So you gotta move fast ♪
470
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:37,727
♪ Break things ♪
471
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:38,936
♪ Move fast ♪
472
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,188
♪ Break things ♪
473
00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,273
♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪
474
00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:44,567
♪ You've delivered joy
and laughter ♪
475
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,777
♪ You gotta move fast ♪
476
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,988
♪ Break things ♪
♪ Move fast ♪
477
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:50,615
♪ Break things ♪
478
00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,200
♪ By disrupting
everybody's world ♪
479
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,118
♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪
480
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,954
♪ And break things ♪
481
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:59,832
Uh, moving fast sounds
kind of dangerous.
482
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,417
That's how accidents happen.
483
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:07,590
♪ Accidents happen
all the time ♪
484
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:09,926
♪ We trip, we stumble
We bump our noggin ♪
485
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:13,054
♪ If we stop moving forward
people point ♪
486
00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:15,181
♪ They laugh, make memes
They start mockin'♪
487
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:17,600
♪ In the world of tech
There will be bugs ♪
488
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,894
♪ OS flaws
and backend mistakes ♪
489
00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,938
♪ Don't wanna be
a laughingstock?♪
490
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,899
♪ Well, don't stop
whenever something breaks ♪
491
00:25:24,899 --> 00:25:27,068
♪ This world
is our laboratory ♪
492
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:29,695
♪ Everything around us
is just data ♪
493
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,573
♪ So instead of saying
"Did I do that"♪
494
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:34,825
♪ Just shrug and say
"It's still in beta!"♪
495
00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,452
♪ And then
Move fast ♪
496
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:37,578
♪ Break things ♪
497
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:38,955
♪ Move fast ♪
498
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:40,206
♪ Break things ♪
499
00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,208
♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪
500
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,335
♪ You've delivered
joy and laughter ♪
501
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,462
♪ No, you gotta move fast ♪
502
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,672
♪ Break things ♪
503
00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:49,006
♪ Move fast ♪
504
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,841
♪ Break things ♪
505
00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:57,807
♪ Let your inventions rock
everybody's world ♪
506
00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:05,273
♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪
507
00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,733
♪ Ba de ba da ba da ♪
508
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:08,985
♪ And break things ♪
509
00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:14,156
Wow! Okay, now I want
to find something to disrupt!
510
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,617
Look, I'm not sitting
in my own yacht air balloon
511
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,911
because I waited for permission
to change the world.
512
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,705
No. I just changed it
513
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:23,249
and this baby is
a very expensive,
514
00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:26,627
really, like really,
fuel inefficient thank you gift
for myself. Yeah.
515
00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:30,381
Whoa! Whoa!
Keep it steady, VDI!
516
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,341
We've got some choppy
skies up here.
517
00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:34,677
You see, this is why we need
to get rid of the wind!
518
00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:38,097
Ugh. @steveurkel,
look around you.
519
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:41,851
Is there something
that you see that
could be better for society?
520
00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:47,732
Hmm. Since it's the holidays,
maybe there's a way to spread
even more holiday cheer?
521
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,734
Well, if you think the holidays
need shaking up,
522
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:51,986
then find a way
to disrupt them, buddy.
523
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:53,487
The nicest thing you can do
for people
524
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:55,698
is disrupt their lives
for the better.
525
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,825
- Okay?
- All right.
526
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,953
- I'm going to disrupt
the holidays.
527
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,455
Um...
528
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:03,622
Steve.
529
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,835
Look at that.
You've already started.
530
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:19,722
Thanks, Urkelbot.
531
00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:21,390
If this is going to become
the best holiday ever,
532
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,809
I need to become
Santa's Number One Elf.
533
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:25,227
Ooh! Even better!
534
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:29,106
Santa's Urkelf! But what to do?
535
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:31,901
Hmm. We might be pulling
an all-nighter.
536
00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:42,870
Ah! I think I've got it!
537
00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:49,585
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
538
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,754
Ow, that's hot!
That's really hot!
539
00:27:57,635 --> 00:28:00,930
One hot cocoa,
milk and two sugars.
540
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:02,890
Thanks.
541
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:05,476
You catch the game last night?
Nobody was rebounding!
542
00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:09,063
And then they had the nerve
to just play zone defense
for a bunch of possessions.
543
00:28:09,063 --> 00:28:11,190
Good morning, festive friends!
544
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:13,401
Steve?
What are you doing here?
545
00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:15,986
Wait, are you one of those kids
that wants to pull on
Santa's beard?
546
00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:18,239
Collect the hair to make
a pillow that hears
your wishes?
547
00:28:18,239 --> 00:28:20,324
I've heard about creepy
Santa super fans like you.
548
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,076
I'm not a super fan!
549
00:28:22,076 --> 00:28:23,744
I'm here
in an official capacity.
550
00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:26,580
{\an8} You're not
one of Santa's helpers.
551
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:30,000
Well, technically speaking,
I'm one of Santa's disrupters!
552
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,211
It's a different department
than helper!
553
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,340
I'm here to make sure
the holidays are operating
at peak performance,
554
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:40,678
and that means making sure
everyone has a great holiday,
even you, big guy.
555
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:44,515
I was thinking since people
aren't coming to the mall
as much,
556
00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,643
how could we get more people
to see DSS?
557
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:48,811
Start a podcast?
558
00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:51,480
Last night, inspiration struck.
559
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,607
Kids still need to see Santa,
560
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:56,485
so I built something to help
spread a little of that
mall-iday cheer.
561
00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:59,989
I made you an app
that lets kids call you
whenever they want.
562
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:02,783
You built an app overnight?
563
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:04,201
And you're still this chipper?
564
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:06,537
Hmm. That's a pretty
great idea, Steve.
565
00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,414
So the kids and I
can connect virtually?
566
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:11,000
Even better.
Let me see your phone.
567
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,334
Don't go through my photos.
568
00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,545
Just... bringing it online.
569
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:32,271
- What the--
- That's right.
570
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:34,565
Why just talk to Santa
on your phone
571
00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:38,152
when you can have him
delivered to your door
with the press of a button.
572
00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:43,574
You failed to mention the part
where you also built engine
powered reindeer.
573
00:29:43,574 --> 00:29:47,077
Oh, no no no no no!
I do not like this idea!
574
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,261
What the Monterey Jack!
575
00:30:10,768 --> 00:30:13,395
Steve! Stop this thing!
Take us back to the mall!
576
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:16,941
But you don't want
to disappoint the kid
who just requested you!
577
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:20,110
Fine! Fine! But at least
slow this thing down!
578
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,195
On it.
579
00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:24,406
Whoopsie!
580
00:30:25,783 --> 00:30:26,951
Whoa, whoa.
581
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,415
Oh, my gosh! Oh! Oh, my heart!
582
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:35,417
Santa?
583
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,798
Ho-ho-ho! Hey there. Uh...
584
00:30:40,798 --> 00:30:41,924
Scottie.
585
00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:43,926
Hold up, Steve. Are you an elf?
586
00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:46,637
Did you go through the
six week training program?
587
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,722
Oh. My mistake.
588
00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:49,974
Scottie Harper.
589
00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,850
Hello, Scottie.
Why don't you
590
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,644
hop on Santa's lap
and we can discuss--
591
00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:55,813
- Uh-oh.
- What is "Uh-oh," Steve?
592
00:31:03,988 --> 00:31:05,531
How're you do--
593
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:08,117
When I was burning
the midnight oil...
594
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:10,953
I may have
forgotten to...
595
00:31:10,953 --> 00:31:13,539
create a subroutine...
596
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:16,292
to manage the requests...
597
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:19,461
So, every kid who's
requesting Santa right now
598
00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:22,298
is going
to get Santa right now?
599
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:30,931
Steve!
600
00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:33,017
Ho-ho-ho...
601
00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:39,440
Oh, relax, big guy.
602
00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:42,735
It's just a little hiccup.
603
00:31:45,154 --> 00:31:48,866
A hiccup? Steve,
shut it down! Shut it down!
604
00:31:48,866 --> 00:31:50,868
Take us back
to the mall right now!
605
00:31:50,868 --> 00:31:52,703
- Right now!
606
00:31:55,998 --> 00:32:00,336
Steve, you might wanna
hold on to something!
607
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:01,712
Huh?
608
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:13,891
Nope. No critters
on my bus.
609
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,361
Whoa, Nelly!
610
00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:26,654
Wait a minute.
611
00:32:26,654 --> 00:32:28,322
Where's
Department Store Santa?
612
00:32:28,322 --> 00:32:30,366
Steve!
613
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,499
Did I do that?
614
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:43,879
What is wrong with you?
615
00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:47,091
I just wanted everyone
to have an amazing holiday.
616
00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:50,886
And you figured you'd do that
by blowing up my sleigh
and destroying my pants?
617
00:32:50,886 --> 00:32:53,347
I have no pants.
I have no pants!
618
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:56,225
- But you do have
very classy underpants.
619
00:32:56,225 --> 00:32:58,769
These are bugs
that can be easily fixed.
620
00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:00,854
As Dudley Von Durffel
likes to say--
621
00:33:00,854 --> 00:33:03,232
Dudley Von Durffel
didn't do this, Steve.
622
00:33:03,232 --> 00:33:05,025
You did.
623
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:07,403
There's a city full of kids
who didn't get to see Santa,
624
00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:10,030
but did see
a bunch of reindeer explode!
625
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:13,200
And to top it off,
you destroyed Pretzelegance.
626
00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:17,246
Please, DSS,
this was a beta test.
627
00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:22,584
I can iron out these
wrinkles, get you back up
and running in no time.
628
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,420
We're all Team Santa here.
629
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:26,130
No, Steve.
630
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,549
This is what
I've been trying to tell you.
631
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:32,302
You're not
one of Santa's helpers. I am.
632
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:35,305
I mean, I was until
you destroyed Santa's Village.
633
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:37,725
"Destroyed" seems
like a bit of an exaggeration.
634
00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:41,228
Well, uh...
635
00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:42,771
"Destroyed" makes sense.
636
00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:45,190
Do you wanna know
why I was working here?
637
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,319
I wanted to surprise my dad
this year and get him
some ESL classes.
638
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:52,614
He's from Ecuador
and he always worries
his English isn't good enough.
639
00:33:52,614 --> 00:33:55,075
So, I thought
it would be a great gift.
640
00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:56,869
That is really thoughtful.
641
00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:59,079
But thanks to you, now I can't.
642
00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:01,623
Robin, I didn't mean
to destroy anything.
643
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:04,710
I just wanted
to help make the holidays
the best they can be.
644
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:06,712
You-- You wanna help?
Don't help.
645
00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,506
Stay away, very far away.
646
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,508
You've ruined everything.
647
00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:13,635
If I were you,
I wouldn't even count
on any horsey cheese.
648
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:15,429
Uh, donkey cheese.
649
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,934
Huh? Mm? Mm.
650
00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:34,823
{\an8}From mall-iday to malady,
651
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,826
{\an8}Christmas is under attack!
652
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:47,878
Did I do that?
653
00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:50,672
Did I do that?
654
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:54,301
{\an8}Oh, ho, ho,
he did do that, America.
655
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:58,514
{\an8}That bespectacled bully
made a fool of Santa Claus.
656
00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:01,683
{\an8}And since
now I'm showing it to you
on national television,
657
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:06,730
{\an8}he made a fool of Santa Claus
on national television.
658
00:35:06,730 --> 00:35:09,691
Steve, how can you
watch that lady?
659
00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:14,279
Every week,
she's finding a new thing
that is "destroying America."
660
00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:19,284
Last week it was empanadas,
and empanadas are amazing!
661
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:22,913
My only regret, it took me
so long to learn that.
662
00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:24,623
Urkelbot likes her show.
663
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:27,251
Probably a good thing
Urkelbot can't talk.
664
00:35:27,251 --> 00:35:28,544
Or vote.
665
00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:34,967
We just wanted to make sure
you were feeling okay
after you blew up the mall.
666
00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:37,261
He didn't blow up the mall.
667
00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:40,264
Sorry. Just a bunch
of reindeer and Pretzelegance.
668
00:35:40,264 --> 00:35:41,640
which, good riddance.
669
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,185
Ow! Hey, I'm old.
670
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:48,397
Mr. Kalan's right.
I messed up the mall-idays.
671
00:35:48,397 --> 00:35:50,566
DSS and Robin are mad at me.
672
00:35:50,566 --> 00:35:53,652
But it's not just that.
I mess up everything.
673
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,446
I ruined Jordan's
basketball game
with his friends,
674
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:58,657
I woke the neighborhood up
super early.
675
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:01,994
Steve, you're being
too hard on yourself.
676
00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,288
Look, you might be a little...
677
00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:06,290
- Awkward?
- Goofy?
678
00:36:06,290 --> 00:36:08,250
A bumbling,
butter-fingered klutz?
679
00:36:08,250 --> 00:36:10,586
I was gonna say, eager.
680
00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:13,881
But we all know
your heart is in
the right place.
681
00:36:13,881 --> 00:36:17,426
{\an8}Dudley Von Durffel said
I should disrupt people's lives
for the better.
682
00:36:17,426 --> 00:36:20,262
{\an8}But when I tried,
I made everything worse.
683
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:24,099
{\an8}So, I was thinking,
maybe I was disrupting
the wrong thing.
684
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:28,270
{\an8}Maybe what I need to disrupt
this holiday season is myself.
685
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:30,856
Don't tell me,
you've built a contraption
that's going to turn you
686
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:34,443
into some sort
of smooth-talking cool guy.
687
00:36:34,443 --> 00:36:35,903
Not at all.
688
00:36:35,903 --> 00:36:38,447
Being cool has
never been my problem.
689
00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:39,531
Whoa!
690
00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:44,244
Behold, my newest invention.
691
00:36:44,244 --> 00:36:46,955
I call it a nice ticker.
692
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:48,457
It's an okay ticker.
693
00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,292
No, it's called a nice ticker.
694
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:52,628
It will help me make sure
the holidays are great
695
00:36:52,628 --> 00:36:54,796
by keeping me
from screwing them up.
696
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,091
Every year, I go over
to Mr. Kalan's to help him
light his menorah.
697
00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:00,594
- And my drapes.
- Exactly.
698
00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:04,473
So, the watch told me that,
this year, I should send
Urkelbot in my place.
699
00:37:04,473 --> 00:37:06,850
You want me
to celebrate Hanukkah
with your robot?
700
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,687
His latkes are delicious.
He makes them with
ricotta cheese.
701
00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:14,483
That sounds
like something from
one of those fancy food shows.
702
00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:18,111
- See, Mr. K's holiday
just got a little better.
703
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:20,739
The more things I do right,
the more points I'll get
704
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,491
while making sure
we stay on track for
705
00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:25,327
a wonderful holiday
that Santa will love!
706
00:37:25,327 --> 00:37:27,204
Oh, Steve.
707
00:37:27,204 --> 00:37:29,998
If you weren't covered
in grease, I'd hug you.
708
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:33,251
- No, thank you, robot.
709
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:37,547
Steve, honey,
the holidays are great
because you're a part of them.
710
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:40,759
Yeah, Steve.
Isn't today Jay-Z's birthday?
711
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:43,053
Why don't we all
go Jay-Z caroling?
712
00:37:43,053 --> 00:37:45,722
That would be a wonderful thing
we can all do together.
713
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:48,684
- Hmm. The watch
says I shouldn't.
714
00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:53,105
But, Steve, you love
singing loudly on the street.
715
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,148
You can sing the curse words.
716
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:56,900
Let's be honest.
717
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,611
I bet I'd get really excited
singing "Hard Knock Life,"
718
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,030
and accidentally step
on Mrs. Kochiyama's foot,
719
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,032
which would then
make her jump in pain.
720
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:06,326
She'd slip on
an icy patch of sidewalk
721
00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:09,287
and go tumbling into Mr. Kalan,
causing him to break his hip.
722
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:12,749
That does sound like
something you could do,
723
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,668
and something that
my hip could do.
724
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:16,420
Yep, it all tracks for me.
725
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,672
And then, he'd have
to spend Hanukkah
in the hospital.
726
00:38:18,672 --> 00:38:20,424
So, I'd ruin another holiday.
727
00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:23,593
- See, I'm
already scoring points.
728
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,178
Oh, this is great.
729
00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:27,097
You all go. Have fun.
730
00:38:27,097 --> 00:38:30,350
Okay, but it won't be
the same without you.
731
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,354
- According to my data,
it will be 47% better.
732
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:38,358
Robot, if I fall asleep,
that's not permission for you
733
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:41,820
to turn my microwave against me
for your robot uprising!
734
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,864
I know what goes on
among youse.
735
00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:46,450
I read books. I got Wi-Fi.
736
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:50,412
Hey, Urkel, come here.
737
00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:51,913
We could use another player.
738
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,666
This snowman really
isn't playing much D.
739
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,543
- Hmm.
740
00:38:56,543 --> 00:39:00,380
The last time I was here,
I got everybody
soaked with rain.
741
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:02,966
I should probably
sit this one out. Thanks.
742
00:39:07,888 --> 00:39:11,391
Okay, holiday boy,
we've gone a mile and a half,
743
00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:14,603
and you haven't
sung a single thing.
744
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:16,855
- What's up, huh?
- You don't like singing.
745
00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:19,775
And I don't
wanna ruin your day.
So, no singing for me.
746
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,654
So, you're just
gonna sit there all quiet,
747
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:28,366
even as the wheels on the bus
go round and round?
748
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:31,953
- Round and round,
round and round?
749
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:36,083
Have a nice evening,
Sheryl, the bus driver.
750
00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:38,960
You, too, holiday boy.
751
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,214
♪ The wipers on the bus
go swish, swish, swish... ♪
752
00:39:42,214 --> 00:39:45,300
- It was cute when
he does it, Jerry, not you!
753
00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:55,185
Hey, Steve.
What are you doing here?
754
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:58,980
{\an8}I wanted to say sorry
I messed up everything
at Santa's Village.
755
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:02,192
Thanks. I appreciate that
you came here to apologize.
756
00:40:02,192 --> 00:40:05,195
I know I'm not one
of Santa's official helpers.
757
00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:08,949
But I made you something
that I hope will make
your holiday a little better.
758
00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:13,286
Steve Urkel Industries
proudly presents
my latest invention,
759
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,122
The ESL-met.
760
00:40:15,122 --> 00:40:17,165
It takes
anything you say or hear
761
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:20,127
and translates it
automatically into
the language of your choice.
762
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:31,263
If my dad ever needs
to slay a talking dragon
763
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:32,889
or sing a rap hook,
I'll hit you up.
764
00:40:32,889 --> 00:40:35,308
But I don't think he's much
of a helmet-to-work guy.
765
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:45,944
That's cool, Steve,
766
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:50,615
but I wanted to get my dad
ESL classes myself.
767
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:53,702
Sometimes, he helps me
with my school work.
768
00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:58,331
He'll make up
silly songs to help me
remember math equations.
769
00:40:58,331 --> 00:41:03,003
It's corny, but I like getting
to spend that time with him.
770
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:04,838
I don't know.
I guess I just figured
771
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,840
it'd be fun
to do the same for him.
772
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,593
Trust me.
I've crunched the numbers
and run simulations.
773
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,511
Your dad is going to love this.
774
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:13,680
He's going to have
the best Christmas ever,
775
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,724
and you're going to have
a great holiday because of it.
776
00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,017
- See?
777
00:41:17,017 --> 00:41:18,935
Is that a step counter?
778
00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:20,395
No.
779
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:21,897
It's my newest invention
to help me make sure
780
00:41:21,897 --> 00:41:24,024
everyone has
the best holiday ever.
781
00:41:24,024 --> 00:41:27,194
It's keeping score
of everything I do to hack
this holiday season.
782
00:41:27,194 --> 00:41:28,862
Who are you keeping score for?
783
00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:31,114
Santa.
784
00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:34,284
He's only going to come
if everything and everyone
is perfect. Even me.
785
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,536
You'll see,
my science is sound.
786
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,413
Look, your wreath is crooked.
787
00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:39,915
Hm. Looks fine to me.
788
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:41,917
Nope. It's off
by three degrees.
789
00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:43,710
Now, that might seem small.
790
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:46,087
But it could be the difference
between someone walking by
791
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:48,256
and feeling joy to the world,
792
00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:51,801
or simply mild satisfaction
with the globe.
793
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:56,264
Joy, mild satisfaction.
794
00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:59,976
Joy, mild satisfaction.
795
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:04,773
Point, no point.
796
00:42:04,773 --> 00:42:07,150
Point, point, point, point.
797
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:11,321
♪ You make a good point
Point, point, point, point ♪
798
00:42:11,321 --> 00:42:17,160
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
799
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,747
♪ Point, point, point ♪
800
00:42:20,747 --> 00:42:23,541
♪ Everywhere I go
I'm trying to be nice ♪
801
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,795
♪ Help a bunch of people
So I can rise up ♪
802
00:42:26,795 --> 00:42:29,506
♪ Santa's leaderboard
Doing all these good deeds ♪
803
00:42:29,506 --> 00:42:33,343
♪ And prove to everybody
I'm the help he needs, ooh ♪
804
00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:42,644
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
805
00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:45,146
♪ Point, point, point ♪
806
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:48,400
♪ Those inflatable decorations
look okay ♪
807
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,026
{\an8}♪ They'd look better ♪
808
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,070
{\an8}♪ With an Urkel
patent-pending light display ♪
809
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,822
♪ Who wants to go caroling ♪
810
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:55,115
♪ With all this snow
under their feet? ♪
811
00:42:55,115 --> 00:42:56,825
♪ Score some points to build ♪
812
00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,535
♪ Something to shovel
the street, ooh ♪
813
00:42:58,535 --> 00:43:07,961
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
814
00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:10,505
♪ Point, point, point ♪
815
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:13,883
♪ I'm showing everybody
That I got what it takes ♪
816
00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:17,012
♪ To spread the holiday spirit
Without making mistakes ♪
817
00:43:17,012 --> 00:43:19,848
♪ Santa's gonna be impressed
When he sees what I've done ♪
818
00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:21,599
♪ This city's full
of nice points ♪
819
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,893
♪ And I've just begun, ooh ♪
820
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:33,236
♪ Spreading holiday cheer
ain't some game you can win ♪
821
00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:36,489
♪ It's a feeling
that comes from within ♪
822
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:39,117
♪ Sure, you can fix a wreath
Or decorate some trees ♪
823
00:43:39,117 --> 00:43:42,329
♪ But I think you might have
misplaced your priorities ♪
824
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,957
♪ Gifts are great
When they mean something more ♪
825
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,501
♪ Than an empty attempt
just to raise your score ♪
826
00:43:48,501 --> 00:43:50,170
♪ If you cared
about my feelings ♪
827
00:43:50,170 --> 00:43:51,796
♪ Then you should've come too ♪
828
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,340
♪ Not some dumb watch
telling you ♪
829
00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:55,008
♪ What it thinks
you should do ♪
830
00:43:55,008 --> 00:43:56,384
♪ Oh, points ♪
831
00:43:56,384 --> 00:43:58,553
♪ Point, point
Point, point ♪
832
00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:04,851
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
833
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:07,937
♪ Point, point, point ♪
834
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,232
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
835
00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:14,444
- ♪ Point, point, point ♪
- ♪ You make a point? ♪
836
00:44:14,444 --> 00:44:17,364
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
837
00:44:17,364 --> 00:44:19,616
♪ Point, point, point ♪
838
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:23,661
♪ You're missing the point
Point, point, point, point ♪
839
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:30,043
♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪
840
00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:32,420
Steve, you're
missing the point.
841
00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:36,257
Happy mall-idays.
842
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:38,676
I hope you have a wonderful
shopping experience.
843
00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,345
Where's that holiday smile?
844
00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:44,682
Hey, Mrs. P.
Doing some malI-iday shopping?
845
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,936
Yep. Got all my presents
for my sister's family.
846
00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:51,314
Can I count on you to help me
gift-wrap everything this year?
847
00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:54,526
I'll make eggnog cookies
and we can watch a scary movie.
848
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:58,279
- My nice ticker reminded me
that I'm bad at wrapping gifts.
849
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:00,990
Every year, I mess it up
and you have to
rewrap everything
850
00:45:00,990 --> 00:45:03,993
while I eat all the cookies
and fall asleep on your sofa.
851
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,328
I don't mind.
852
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:07,330
It's nice having your company.
853
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:10,166
Thanks. But if you want
to have a wonderful holiday,
854
00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,252
you need someone or something
855
00:45:12,252 --> 00:45:15,380
that can help you wrap up
those gifts, lickety-split.
856
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,465
That's why I built you this.
857
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,635
It's a giftwrapping
machine that I call
The Hardcore Wrapper.
858
00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,973
It can make paper, mix tape
and get jingly with it, baby.
859
00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:26,766
There's not a box
it can't beat.
860
00:45:27,934 --> 00:45:29,018
Ooh.
861
00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:31,479
What is it?
862
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,690
It's a coffee mug warmer
for my niece.
863
00:45:33,690 --> 00:45:36,276
I found it at
that fancy tech store.
864
00:45:36,276 --> 00:45:38,945
You put a cup on it
and it stays warm.
865
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,572
How old is your niece?
866
00:45:40,572 --> 00:45:43,324
She's nine.
Do you think she'll like it?
867
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:48,663
Sure. Why don't we
get our wrap on?
868
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,128
- Oh, wow, that's wonderful.
869
00:45:55,128 --> 00:45:56,921
Feel free to wrap away.
870
00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:59,299
I need to head inside
and check on DSS.
871
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,887
Look at me.
I'm a hardcore wrapper.
872
00:46:03,887 --> 00:46:05,722
Oh, you don't want
none of this, honey.
873
00:46:05,722 --> 00:46:08,892
I spit bars,
fire, fire bars.
874
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,063
Well, well, well,
875
00:46:14,063 --> 00:46:16,483
if it isn't Mr. Donkey Cheese.
876
00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:18,067
- Robin!
877
00:46:18,067 --> 00:46:19,903
Hey, DSS,
878
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:22,906
I just wanted to apologize
for screwing things up.
879
00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:24,115
I'm sorry.
880
00:46:24,115 --> 00:46:25,617
Thanks, Steve.
881
00:46:25,617 --> 00:46:28,828
I'll be honest.
I was mad at you.
882
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,457
But for you to come here now
and apologize to me,
883
00:46:32,457 --> 00:46:34,375
face-to-face...
884
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,169
- Aw, geez...
885
00:46:36,169 --> 00:46:38,338
I said, geez!
886
00:46:38,338 --> 00:46:40,798
What?
It was a touching moment.
887
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:42,926
To show you how sorry I am,
888
00:46:42,926 --> 00:46:44,594
I wanted to give you something.
889
00:46:44,594 --> 00:46:47,138
That's very nice.
But my doctor said
890
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,474
my heart can't take
any more gifts from you.
891
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:51,518
Oh, but you're
already wearing it.
892
00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:53,311
I fixed your Santa suit.
893
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:56,231
You did this?
Thought this was from the mall.
894
00:46:56,231 --> 00:46:57,732
The fit is nice.
895
00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,609
Look at your boy,
all swagged out.
896
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:02,403
You got Santa
looking like a hype piece.
897
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:05,615
Wait. It's not gonna do
something weird, is it?
898
00:47:05,615 --> 00:47:08,409
Nope. No tech.
Just sewed it up with
899
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,036
- a needle and some thread.
900
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:13,498
Thanks, Steve.
We're all gravy, and cheese.
901
00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:18,920
Nothing? You're not gonna
take a photo of this 'fit?
902
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,129
I look good.
903
00:47:20,129 --> 00:47:22,090
Between you and me, DSS,
904
00:47:22,090 --> 00:47:24,342
your suit wasn't in
the best shape to begin with.
905
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:26,970
So, I reinforced everything
with some synthetic fabric
906
00:47:26,970 --> 00:47:29,722
to make sure
it stayed both soft and sturdy.
907
00:47:29,722 --> 00:47:32,433
Synthetic fabric?
Like polyester?
908
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,769
Wow, Steve, I was wrong.
909
00:47:34,769 --> 00:47:36,396
You really are
winning the holidays.
910
00:47:36,396 --> 00:47:38,356
And it's only gonna get better.
911
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:40,608
This year, we're gonna
knock Santa's socks off.
912
00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:43,570
I'm allergic
to synthetic fabrics.
913
00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:44,779
Or his pants.
914
00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:47,115
It's like
super-soft poison ivy!
915
00:47:47,115 --> 00:47:49,617
It's nice and painful.
916
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:51,744
Aah! When I scratch,
it makes my fingers itchy.
917
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:52,787
Steve!
918
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:58,084
Oh, no. I'm
making things worse.
919
00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,419
Hold on. Hold on.
920
00:47:59,419 --> 00:48:01,629
I know what to do.
I can fix this.
921
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:04,632
No!
Don't fix anything!
922
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,217
But... But...
923
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:09,637
What we need is
someone to disrupt you, Steve.
924
00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:12,265
- Wait a menorah.
925
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,475
I know just the guy.
926
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,772
This guy says
my hair looks fake?
927
00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:21,858
What? [hesitates] No.
928
00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:23,359
Hi-ho, Dudley.
929
00:48:24,694 --> 00:48:27,113
Who are you?
How'd you get here?
930
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:31,159
Are you one of those ghosts
here to show me my Christmas
past, present, or future?
931
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:33,494
No, it's me, Steve Urkel.
932
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:36,247
We met the other day,
fellow disruptor.
933
00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:38,708
- Who?
-@steveurkel.
934
00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:42,295
@steveurkel, IRL?
935
00:48:42,295 --> 00:48:44,797
Uh, okay.
Uh, what can I do for you?
936
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:47,508
I took your advice and
tried to disrupt the holidays
937
00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:49,469
and make everything
perfect for Santa.
938
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,929
I built this nice ticker
that pushes me to find ways
939
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,307
to make sure everyone
had a great holiday.
940
00:48:54,307 --> 00:48:56,309
But I kept
screwing everything up.
941
00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:59,646
Hmm. You've gamified
being in the holiday spirit?
942
00:48:59,646 --> 00:49:03,733
That's fire... emoji.
943
00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:06,402
I don't think the problem
is you, @steveurkel.
944
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:08,237
It's not?
945
00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:10,907
You turned the holidays
into an amazing game.
946
00:49:10,907 --> 00:49:12,700
But a game is only good
947
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:15,953
if you can get other people
to play it, too, okay?
948
00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:17,747
What if we
scaled this up a bit?
949
00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,124
And got everyone
playing for the holidays?
950
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,668
Exactly.
951
00:49:21,668 --> 00:49:23,378
Maybe we lose the watch
and turn it into an app.
952
00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:25,171
A really nice app?
953
00:49:25,171 --> 00:49:28,508
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
But how about
a Von Durffel app?
954
00:49:28,508 --> 00:49:30,593
Ooh. That's wonderful.
955
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:33,221
No, kid, it's Von Durffel.
956
00:49:33,221 --> 00:49:35,682
VDI, get the dev team
on this, stat.
957
00:49:35,682 --> 00:49:38,059
- I want this live in 24 hours.
958
00:49:38,059 --> 00:49:39,769
Can you get it ready
in 24 hours?
959
00:49:39,769 --> 00:49:41,604
You're right.
Let's do it in six.
960
00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:43,815
Congratulations, kid.
961
00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:45,692
You're about
to disrupt the world.
962
00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:50,321
You have a question?
963
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:51,989
No, I was...
I was trying to high-five you.
964
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:54,534
Oh. It looked like
you had a question.
965
00:49:54,534 --> 00:49:56,369
Maybe angle
your arm down a little more.
966
00:49:56,369 --> 00:50:00,039
Or maybe, I was disrupting
the way we do the high-five.
967
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,749
Very cool.
968
00:50:01,749 --> 00:50:03,626
Thanks.
969
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:05,878
Now, let's get you
off my boat.
970
00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:09,257
Dudley's app
should be online now.
971
00:50:09,257 --> 00:50:12,844
Oh, wow.
So many people
have already downloaded it.
972
00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,262
That's great.
973
00:50:14,262 --> 00:50:16,097
Oh, Santa's gonna
be so proud of me.
974
00:50:16,097 --> 00:50:18,474
Everything's gonna be
so festive that he'll
make sure
975
00:50:18,474 --> 00:50:20,476
this is the best holiday ever.
976
00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:34,615
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
977
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,034
♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪
978
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,954
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
979
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:42,290
Ooh, that tickles.
980
00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:44,625
♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪
981
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,878
♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪
982
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:02,727
Whee...
983
00:51:05,563 --> 00:51:08,858
Oh, Steve, you're
the nicest kid ever.
984
00:51:08,858 --> 00:51:12,653
You made me so-ho-ho happy!
985
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:20,828
If you don't like it,
you can get out.
986
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:24,540
Ujamaa, bless us, everyone.
987
00:51:34,175 --> 00:51:36,219
Just call me Stefan Urquellebot
988
00:51:36,219 --> 00:51:38,721
You saved the holidays, Steve.
989
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,264
Ho-ho-ho, ho!
990
00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:43,100
You're my official
holiday helper.
991
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,894
You hear that, everybody?
992
00:51:44,894 --> 00:51:47,814
- Steve Urkel!
993
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:54,320
Good morning, Mr. Kalan.
994
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,822
Good morning, Steve.
995
00:51:55,822 --> 00:51:58,032
Just turning
the Kochiyamas' car
996
00:51:58,032 --> 00:52:00,952
into everybody's
favorite Christmas character,
997
00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:02,995
Rudy, the holiday moose.
998
00:52:02,995 --> 00:52:04,997
I think you mean reindeer?
999
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:08,125
- Their car is a reindeer.
- Moose, reindeer,
what's the difference?
1000
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,002
I mean, they're
different subspecies,
1001
00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:11,963
not to mention,
antler size and shape.
1002
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,342
Yes! Seventeen points!
1003
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:19,136
- Ooh, chag sameach, Mr. Kalan.
1004
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:22,557
We've spent all morning
perfecting a matzah ball
soup recipe.
1005
00:52:22,557 --> 00:52:24,225
And some rugelach.
1006
00:52:24,225 --> 00:52:27,144
Let's get in that kitchen
and get you a Hanukkah meal.
1007
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,021
- Yes!
1008
00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:31,440
That's so wonderful.
1009
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,443
Did you see Rudy, the moose?
1010
00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:37,947
It's nice. We don't
really celebrate Christmas.
But thank you.
1011
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:41,200
I got you, Kochiyamas.
1012
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,828
For the new year,
you celebrate with
a kagami mochi.
1013
00:52:43,828 --> 00:52:46,455
- And I made you
a lawn ornament.
1014
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,249
- Yes!
1015
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:51,002
Take that, Mr. Kalan.
1016
00:52:51,002 --> 00:52:53,921
Livingstons, you
celebrate Kwanzaa, right?
1017
00:52:53,921 --> 00:52:55,381
Let me help you do that!
1018
00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:58,718
- Happy holiday, Steve.
1019
00:52:58,718 --> 00:53:01,679
I said it first.
Why didn't I get more points?
1020
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,932
{\an8}No, Horace.
I insist your team
have the ball.
1021
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,518
{\an8}- Happy holidays.
1022
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:10,021
{\an8}- Oh, thank you very much.
1023
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,150
{\an8}Look at that.
It's your ball again.
1024
00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:16,235
{\an8}- I think that counts
as a Christmas gift.
1025
00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:18,321
Hey, Jordan, what's the score?
1026
00:53:18,321 --> 00:53:19,822
Oh, nothing-to-nothing.
1027
00:53:19,822 --> 00:53:22,867
But I've already got
38 Von Durffel points.
1028
00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:24,327
But what about basketball?
1029
00:53:24,327 --> 00:53:26,037
This is better than basketball.
1030
00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:31,792
Oh, look at that.
I accidentally
scored on myself.
1031
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:35,755
- That's two points for you,
Horace and ten points for me.
1032
00:53:35,755 --> 00:53:38,466
For being so charitable
this holiday season.
1033
00:53:44,305 --> 00:53:47,934
Hey, holiday boy. Need a lift?
1034
00:53:47,934 --> 00:53:50,394
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1035
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:52,021
- I'm good.
1036
00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:06,369
- Happy holidays.
1037
00:54:06,369 --> 00:54:10,665
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Festivus to you.
1038
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:14,168
Your smile
just brightened my day
1039
00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:15,920
- this holiday season.
1040
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,339
Your smile is
all the Christmas, Hanukkah,
1041
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:21,926
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Solstice, Festivus gift I need.
1042
00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:24,512
- A fabulous day to you.
1043
00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:27,473
Would you stop, Gary?
You're messing up my points.
1044
00:54:27,473 --> 00:54:31,185
You're not being very merry
by telling me what to do.
1045
00:54:33,104 --> 00:54:35,982
I don't care what your grades are. You,
young man, deserve a puppy.
1046
00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:39,026
You hear that? This little boy
is getting a puppy,
1047
00:54:39,026 --> 00:54:41,404
even if Santa
has to get you one himself.
1048
00:54:41,404 --> 00:54:44,991
- Isn't that nice
of Santa?
1049
00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:46,909
Yes. A hundred points.
1050
00:54:46,909 --> 00:54:49,036
Okay, come on,
give me another kid.
Give me another kid.
1051
00:54:49,036 --> 00:54:50,746
Whoa-ho-ho.
1052
00:54:50,746 --> 00:54:54,125
- Whatever you want, little girl, Santa's
got you covered. You want world peace?
Santa will figure it out.
1053
00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:55,167
Oh, Steve!
1054
00:54:57,378 --> 00:55:00,589
You want to rip my pants off
again, make me look silly?
1055
00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:04,176
Isn't that
a holly-jolly good time?
1056
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,887
- What's going on?
1057
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:09,515
I don't know you,
but I got you
this holiday card.
1058
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:11,934
I got you one first.
Season's greetings!
1059
00:55:13,269 --> 00:55:14,937
I don't believe this.
1060
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:17,189
These people aren't
spreading holiday cheer.
1061
00:55:17,189 --> 00:55:19,734
They're more focused
on treating it like a game.
1062
00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,610
Isn't that what you were doing?
1063
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,196
No. I was just trying to...
1064
00:55:24,196 --> 00:55:28,451
win over Santa
by getting a perfect score.
1065
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:31,245
Oh, no.
1066
00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:33,539
Did I do this?
1067
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:41,672
- Hey, kid, let's go caroling.
1068
00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:45,468
Everyone loves caroling,
and it'll give me some points.
1069
00:55:45,468 --> 00:55:47,720
Do you even wanna go caroling?
1070
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:49,597
No, I just want points.
1071
00:55:50,473 --> 00:55:52,224
Points!
1072
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:54,852
No! I need those points.
1073
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:56,187
Let's make a gingerbread house.
1074
00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:57,855
Let's make
ten gingerbread houses.
1075
00:55:57,855 --> 00:55:59,648
Let's make a gingerbread city!
1076
00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:02,151
No, he's going
caroling with me.
1077
00:56:02,151 --> 00:56:04,487
Fun fact. Did you know
the fifth day of Kwanzaa
1078
00:56:04,487 --> 00:56:07,198
is all about points?
1079
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:16,999
This game is offering
daily cash prizes
1080
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:18,667
and a million dollars
to the person
1081
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:21,504
who gets the highest score
of the month!
1082
00:56:21,504 --> 00:56:23,422
What? No.
1083
00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:26,300
Dudley's app is bribing people
to get into the holiday spirit.
1084
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:27,927
This isn't right.
1085
00:56:27,927 --> 00:56:30,679
Maybe not, but it only
costs a few bucks to play,
1086
00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:33,182
and if I win, I could get paid.
1087
00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:34,600
Robin...
1088
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,812
No...
1089
00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:44,610
Happy holiday, Steve.
1090
00:56:44,610 --> 00:56:46,779
Where's that holiday smile?
1091
00:56:46,779 --> 00:56:49,698
You're one of Santa's
holiday helpers, aren't you?
1092
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:52,118
- We should get you a hat.
1093
00:56:52,118 --> 00:56:53,953
Let's get you some eggnog
1094
00:56:53,953 --> 00:56:57,373
and sing some
carols.
1095
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,586
Hey, there, Steve.
You still want
donkey cheese for Christmas?
1096
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:04,672
Because I'll get it for you.
1097
00:57:04,672 --> 00:57:07,216
- If I win this game,
I'll buy you all the cheese.
1098
00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:09,301
So why don't you
sing some carols with me,
1099
00:57:09,301 --> 00:57:11,053
and I can get these points?
1100
00:57:11,053 --> 00:57:12,179
Oh, no!
1101
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,640
Points...
1102
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:19,311
The mall is getting
the biggest tree we can find,
1103
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:20,729
- just for you.
1104
00:57:20,729 --> 00:57:22,356
Will you help us decorate it
1105
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:25,109
for the points?
1106
00:57:30,322 --> 00:57:32,158
Where's your
ugly sweater? Points.
1107
00:57:32,158 --> 00:57:34,618
Want to watch some
holiday movies on my phone?
1108
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,871
For points.
1109
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:42,168
Points...
1110
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:44,753
Steve, I think
your sweater isn't
the right Christmas green.
1111
00:57:44,753 --> 00:57:47,006
- It needs to be
a shade lighter.
1112
00:57:47,006 --> 00:57:49,675
- Take a seat and let me
tell you the story of Hanukkah.
1113
00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:52,094
- It's known as
the Festival of Lights.
1114
00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,722
Points...
1115
00:57:54,722 --> 00:57:56,765
- Points...
1116
00:57:58,726 --> 00:58:01,312
Come on! I built you.
Why aren't you starting?
1117
00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:05,399
Points, points...
1118
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,234
- That is very cool.
1119
00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:10,529
It's a Christmas mitzvah,
how you mess with my things.
1120
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,406
Oh, come on. Come on.
1121
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,830
I'll bring it back, I promise!
1122
00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:23,292
- Or don't. I'm generous
and charitable that way.
1123
00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:26,462
As long as I get these points.
1124
00:58:27,338 --> 00:58:28,589
Yes.
1125
00:58:28,589 --> 00:58:30,341
Would you like
to sing a carol with me?
1126
00:58:30,341 --> 00:58:32,468
- I thought you'd never ask.
1127
00:58:32,468 --> 00:58:34,386
♪ Points points, points
Points, points, points ♪
1128
00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:36,680
♪ Points points
Points, points, points ♪
1129
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:46,523
♪ I thought I was a nice kid ♪
1130
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:49,818
♪ But maybe I'm a troll ♪
1131
00:58:49,818 --> 00:58:53,697
♪ 'Cause every time
I try to help ♪
1132
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:57,326
♪ I seem to miss my goal ♪
1133
00:58:57,326 --> 00:59:00,454
♪ I wanted to make
The holidays better ♪
1134
00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:04,124
♪ But I made everything worse ♪
1135
00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:07,002
♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪
1136
00:59:07,002 --> 00:59:11,048
♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪
1137
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:14,009
♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪
1138
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:18,305
♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪
1139
00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:21,392
♪ Everything was fine ♪
1140
00:59:21,392 --> 00:59:27,314
♪ Until I got invo......olved ♪
1141
00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:33,028
♪ So if I run away ♪
1142
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:37,908
♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪
1143
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:40,160
♪ If he runs away ♪
1144
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:44,623
♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪
1145
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:47,918
♪ I wanted to make
the holidays better ♪
1146
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:51,213
♪ But I only
made things worse ♪
1147
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:54,425
♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪
1148
00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:58,387
♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪
1149
00:59:58,387 --> 01:00:01,348
♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪
1150
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:05,311
♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪
1151
01:00:05,311 --> 01:00:07,271
- Oh...
1152
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:10,065
- Uh-oh.
1153
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,658
Where am I?
1154
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:33,630
Kid, calm down, please.
1155
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:34,840
You can talk?
1156
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,593
Yes. You've got
good aim, Steve.
1157
01:00:37,593 --> 01:00:40,012
Well, only when I'm terrified.
1158
01:00:40,012 --> 01:00:42,514
Wait, how do you know my name?
1159
01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:44,850
I know every kid's name.
1160
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:47,895
It's kind of my thing,
being Santa and all.
1161
01:00:47,895 --> 01:00:49,563
You're Santa Claus?
1162
01:00:49,563 --> 01:00:51,440
In the fur.
1163
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,567
You're a...
1164
01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:55,736
Yes, Steve Urkel.
1165
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:57,571
Santa Claus is a yeti!
1166
01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:02,201
No, no, no, no, no.
That's ridiculous.
1167
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:03,952
I've been
helping Santa for years.
1168
01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:06,288
Officially, or off the books?
1169
01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:07,873
That's not important.
1170
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:10,667
As a self-taught Santa expert,
what I know is,
1171
01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:12,419
Santa can't be a yeti.
1172
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,385
♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪
1173
01:01:19,385 --> 01:01:21,720
♪ What's the problem
that you see? ♪
1174
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,765
♪ Does that challenge
your idea ♪
1175
01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,017
♪ Of who a yeti should be? ♪
1176
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:29,645
♪ You might see a monster ♪
1177
01:01:29,645 --> 01:01:31,939
♪ But I'm a friendly-o ♪
1178
01:01:31,939 --> 01:01:34,566
♪ Yeti dressed in reddy
With a big, big belly ♪
1179
01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:36,985
♪ And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard
Living in the North Pole ♪
1180
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:40,489
But there's never been
scientific proof
of your existence.
1181
01:01:40,489 --> 01:01:42,116
Not Santa Claus. Yetis.
1182
01:01:42,116 --> 01:01:43,992
Ouch! That hurts.
1183
01:01:43,992 --> 01:01:47,371
Uh, I guess you know a lot of
centuries-old humans.
1184
01:01:47,371 --> 01:01:49,081
Well, my grandma's
pretty old.
1185
01:01:49,081 --> 01:01:51,500
But can she fit down a chimney
carrying a bag of toys
1186
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:52,835
without being seen?
1187
01:01:52,835 --> 01:01:56,046
I can. It's what
we Bigfoots are great at.
1188
01:01:56,046 --> 01:01:58,090
Doors, on the other hand,
confuse the heck out of me.
1189
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,759
Turn and pull
and then go in.
Oh.
1190
01:02:00,759 --> 01:02:03,804
Wait a minute.
People have seen
Santa before.
1191
01:02:03,804 --> 01:02:06,098
I try to stay hidden
as much as possible,
1192
01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:12,187
but a few lucky children
have gazed upon
this beautiful visage.
1193
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:16,024
So by now,
somebody would have said
Santa's a yeti
1194
01:02:16,024 --> 01:02:19,153
or gotten upset
that you don't look like
a biker after a spa day.
1195
01:02:19,153 --> 01:02:20,320
♪ Oh ♪
1196
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:21,989
♪ People have opinions ♪
1197
01:02:21,989 --> 01:02:24,408
♪ Of how we should
look and sound ♪
1198
01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:26,869
♪ If you challenge
their beliefs ♪
1199
01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:30,038
{\an8}♪ They tend
to put you down ♪
1200
01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:33,625
{\an8}♪ They've made a reality
That's comfortable to them ♪
1201
01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:35,794
{\an8}♪ So instead of seeing a yeti
Dressed in reddy ♪
1202
01:02:35,794 --> 01:02:38,005
{\an8}♪ With a big, big belly
And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪
1203
01:02:38,005 --> 01:02:39,756
{\an8}♪ They'd rather see
some old man ♪
1204
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:41,383
Not just any old man.
1205
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,926
They want to see
the one who's--
1206
01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:47,264
White, uh, fur
can kind of look like a beard.
1207
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:48,348
Don't you think?
1208
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:50,434
Hmm. It does.
1209
01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:52,394
And I guess
from far enough away,
1210
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:55,814
your hands and feet
kind of look like
boots and gloves.
1211
01:02:55,814 --> 01:02:57,524
Exactly!
1212
01:02:57,524 --> 01:03:00,235
I mean, "claws" is right there
in the name, Santa Claus.
1213
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:01,612
Hello!
1214
01:03:01,612 --> 01:03:04,323
How many humans
do you know named Santa?
1215
01:03:04,323 --> 01:03:07,451
It's actually
an old yeti word.
1216
01:03:07,451 --> 01:03:10,287
It means yeti.
1217
01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:12,456
My real name
is Krisskringel.
1218
01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:13,707
Holy moly!
1219
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,709
You're Santa
and you're a yeti!
1220
01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:17,628
Ho-ho-ho.
1221
01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:19,171
- ♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪
- ♪ Mmm-hmm ♪
1222
01:03:19,171 --> 01:03:20,839
♪ Now you know the deal ♪
1223
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,092
♪ But if he's someone else
to you ♪
1224
01:03:24,092 --> 01:03:26,261
♪ Please do what you feel ♪
1225
01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:29,181
♪ If Santa was a penguin ♪
1226
01:03:29,181 --> 01:03:30,807
♪ That would be okay ♪
1227
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,851
♪ Because all
that really matters ♪
1228
01:03:32,851 --> 01:03:34,937
♪ It's not the red, red hat
Or the fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪
1229
01:03:34,937 --> 01:03:37,397
♪ It's joy
on Christmas Day ♪
1230
01:03:37,397 --> 01:03:39,233
♪ It's respecting
one another ♪
1231
01:03:39,233 --> 01:03:40,984
♪ Like they're your sister
Or your brother ♪
1232
01:03:40,984 --> 01:03:42,611
♪ And spreading cheer
on Christmas Day ♪
1233
01:03:42,611 --> 01:03:43,862
♪ Being good
to everyone you see ♪
1234
01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:45,489
♪ And leaving me cookies ♪
1235
01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:48,325
♪ The true spirit
of the holiday ♪
1236
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:51,453
By the way,
you got any cookies?
1237
01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:52,663
No.
1238
01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:54,289
Santa, I, uh...
1239
01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,291
I may have screwed up
the holidays.
1240
01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:59,586
It's okay.
I have other cookies.
1241
01:03:59,586 --> 01:04:02,256
Now, what brings you
to the North Pole?
1242
01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:03,757
Haven't you seen?
1243
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:05,759
I messed up everything
back home.
1244
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:08,136
I kind of blew up
the mall, twice.
1245
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:10,889
I built a game-changing,
holiday-ruining app.
1246
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:13,392
I turned
Department Store Santa
into a meme.
1247
01:04:13,392 --> 01:04:15,936
People are calling him
No Pantsa Claus.
1248
01:04:15,936 --> 01:04:18,522
Sorry, I don't have
Wi-Fi up here,
1249
01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:21,358
but I'd have maybe gone
with Santa Drawers.
1250
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:24,611
Santa, I was trying so hard
to impress you this year
1251
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,572
that I wrecked everything!
1252
01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:28,657
Why were you trying
to impress me?
1253
01:04:28,657 --> 01:04:30,659
Because you're Santa.
1254
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:32,244
The Santa Claus.
1255
01:04:32,244 --> 01:04:33,954
You're amazing!
1256
01:04:33,954 --> 01:04:36,331
And you're only going to come
if everything is perfect.
1257
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,834
The lights,
the cheer, even me.
1258
01:04:38,834 --> 01:04:41,461
I built this watch
to make sure I did
everything right
1259
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:42,838
and bring you to Chicago
1260
01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:44,756
and fulfill everyone's
Christmas wishes.
1261
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:47,384
Hmm.
What do you want this year?
1262
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:51,138
Some Serbian donkey cheese,
if I remember correctly.
1263
01:04:51,138 --> 01:04:54,516
{\an8}Right now, my wish would be
to fix everything back home.
1264
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:56,560
And I clearly
haven't earned that.
1265
01:04:56,560 --> 01:05:00,314
Well, between you and me,
I'm not really keeping score
1266
01:05:00,314 --> 01:05:02,149
on whether you've been
naughty or nice.
1267
01:05:02,149 --> 01:05:03,567
What?
1268
01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,152
Oh, Steve.
1269
01:05:05,152 --> 01:05:07,863
Take a seat with me
at this piano a moment.
1270
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:15,370
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1271
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:22,669
♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪
1272
01:05:24,755 --> 01:05:29,259
♪ It's not
some holiday test ♪
1273
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:36,642
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1274
01:05:36,642 --> 01:05:38,310
♪ Oh ♪
1275
01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:44,816
♪ If I was watching
your every move ♪
1276
01:05:46,443 --> 01:05:52,032
♪ That could feel
pretty scary ♪
1277
01:05:52,032 --> 01:05:55,702
♪ And the stress
to not screw things up ♪
1278
01:05:55,702 --> 01:06:02,668
♪ Would be a lot
for a kid to carry ♪
1279
01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:08,840
♪ You're still learning
How the world works ♪
1280
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:12,469
♪ So you're bound
to make mistakes ♪
1281
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:15,681
♪ You know
The real test of your mettle ♪
1282
01:06:15,681 --> 01:06:19,059
♪ Is what you do
when something breaks ♪
1283
01:06:19,059 --> 01:06:22,479
♪ It's stepping in
To say I'm sorry ♪
1284
01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:26,274
♪ And then trying
to make amends ♪
1285
01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:29,820
♪ With the person
who your action hurt ♪
1286
01:06:29,820 --> 01:06:35,367
♪ Whether strangers
Family or friends ♪
1287
01:06:35,367 --> 01:06:37,119
♪ Oh ♪
1288
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:41,581
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1289
01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:47,879
♪ That's not
what Christmas is for ♪
1290
01:06:47,879 --> 01:06:50,340
♪ Ooh ♪
1291
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:55,178
♪ It's not some holiday test ♪
1292
01:06:57,264 --> 01:07:03,979
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1293
01:07:03,979 --> 01:07:07,232
{\an8}♪ Let's say
you wanted a dirt bike ♪
1294
01:07:07,232 --> 01:07:10,986
{\an8}♪ And you were good
all year long ♪
1295
01:07:10,986 --> 01:07:14,364
{\an8}♪ But it didn't show up
on Christmas ♪
1296
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,617
{\an8}♪ Would you think
you did something wrong? ♪
1297
01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:21,204
♪ Would you feel
kind of hurt? ♪
1298
01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:24,708
♪ Would you scream
Oh, what's the point? ♪
1299
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,836
{\an8}♪ And no matter
how we behave ♪
1300
01:07:27,836 --> 01:07:33,341
♪ We don't always get
what we want ♪
1301
01:07:35,802 --> 01:07:42,517
♪ My Christmas wish
Is that kids are good ♪
1302
01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:48,273
♪ Because that's
who they want to be ♪
1303
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:55,572
{\an8}♪ Not because
They feel pressure ♪
1304
01:07:55,572 --> 01:08:00,118
♪ To try and impress me ♪
1305
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:09,127
♪ Because I'm not
keeping score ♪
1306
01:08:09,586 --> 01:08:14,341
♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪
1307
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:22,724
♪ It's not some
holiday test ♪
1308
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:28,855
♪ To force you
to be your best ♪
1309
01:08:28,855 --> 01:08:35,862
♪ I'm not keeping ♪
1310
01:08:36,947 --> 01:08:40,575
♪ Score ♪
1311
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:45,831
♪ I'm not keeping score ♪
1312
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,378
Cut back on the cookies.
1313
01:08:51,378 --> 01:08:53,547
I do want
to be a good person,
1314
01:08:53,547 --> 01:08:56,091
but I guess I thought I needed
to be even more special
1315
01:08:56,091 --> 01:08:57,926
or Christmas wouldn't come.
1316
01:08:57,926 --> 01:09:00,512
Isn't that why you have
naughty and nice lists?
1317
01:09:00,512 --> 01:09:03,849
I mean, don't all the
Department Store Santas
report back to you?
1318
01:09:03,849 --> 01:09:07,060
Sure, but just to
tell me what things
kids want this year.
1319
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:09,813
I don't want to make
a bunch of wagons
if kids aren't into them.
1320
01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:13,900
The elves hate
when wagons go to waste.
1321
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,528
I still messed up
pretty bad.
1322
01:09:16,528 --> 01:09:19,364
I don't think anyone
will ever forgive me.
1323
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:22,075
You won't know
unless you try.
1324
01:09:22,075 --> 01:09:23,618
I'm scared to go home.
1325
01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:26,705
What if I
ruin things again?
1326
01:09:26,705 --> 01:09:28,665
Maybe I can stay here,
1327
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,709
officially become
one of your helpers.
1328
01:09:30,709 --> 01:09:32,627
I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.
1329
01:09:35,881 --> 01:09:37,465
Oh.
1330
01:09:45,307 --> 01:09:46,933
Is there
an application fee?
1331
01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:48,351
Uh, no.
1332
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,687
I mean, are you just
going to run away?
1333
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,355
Won't people miss you?
1334
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:54,649
No. They're better off
without me.
1335
01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,359
You sure about that?
1336
01:09:56,359 --> 01:10:00,530
Steve, why do you celebrate
every December holiday?
1337
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:03,366
You're not Jewish,
and yet you help Mr. Kalan
1338
01:10:03,366 --> 01:10:05,493
celebrate Hanukkah
every year.
1339
01:10:05,493 --> 01:10:07,245
And on New Year's Eve,
you're always helping
1340
01:10:07,245 --> 01:10:10,373
the Kochiyama family
clean their house
for Omisoka.
1341
01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:12,208
Because Mr. Kalan's
my friend,
1342
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,128
and he shouldn't
have to celebrate
the holidays by himself.
1343
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:17,130
And the Kochiyama family
matter to me,
1344
01:10:17,130 --> 01:10:19,591
so I just want to know
what's special
and important to them.
1345
01:10:19,591 --> 01:10:21,635
Kid, those are nicer gifts
than anything
1346
01:10:21,635 --> 01:10:23,637
this freakishly
beautiful yeti
1347
01:10:23,637 --> 01:10:25,805
in a red suit
could ever build.
1348
01:10:25,805 --> 01:10:28,141
- You might be a little--
- Eager?
1349
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:31,394
But as long as you care
about the people around you,
1350
01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:35,106
then you're officially
helping me spread
holiday cheer.
1351
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:37,150
It's not about how many
lights you put up
1352
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,028
or how many cookies
you leave out.
1353
01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:41,821
Although the more
the merrier.
1354
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:43,657
You're right, Santa.
1355
01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:45,325
And if I really care,
1356
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:47,953
then I need to go back home
and clean up my mess.
1357
01:10:47,953 --> 01:10:50,205
See, Steve,
you don't need a watch
1358
01:10:50,205 --> 01:10:52,374
to tell you
the right thing to do.
1359
01:10:52,374 --> 01:10:55,961
Dudley's got everybody
fake celebrating the holidays
to win money.
1360
01:10:55,961 --> 01:10:58,546
Maybe I can build
some kind of mind ray.
1361
01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:01,299
Not control,
but maybe just reprogramming.
1362
01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:03,802
And maybe erasing
some of their
short-term memory.
1363
01:11:03,802 --> 01:11:05,428
It shouldn't hurt too much.
1364
01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:08,556
Hmm. But maybe
you could use an assist.
1365
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,225
This holiday season,
1366
01:11:10,225 --> 01:11:13,395
could I be your unofficial
official helper?
1367
01:11:13,395 --> 01:11:15,438
You want to be my helper?
1368
01:11:15,438 --> 01:11:17,482
Santa's my helper?
1369
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:19,234
Oh, wow!
1370
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,528
Well, I should probably
get you an orientation packet,
1371
01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:23,655
- and there will be
a strict dress code.
- Steve.
1372
01:11:23,655 --> 01:11:26,366
Or how about
just a lift back home
to shut Dudley's app down
1373
01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:28,868
and remind people
to just be good
for goodness sake?
1374
01:11:28,868 --> 01:11:30,328
Oh, you better watch out.
1375
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:31,955
♪ You better not pout ♪
1376
01:11:31,955 --> 01:11:35,417
No, watch out.
My reindeer are pulling up.
1377
01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:40,839
Wanna go fix
the holidays?
1378
01:11:40,839 --> 01:11:41,923
Yes!
1379
01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:48,013
What was that song
you were singing?
1380
01:11:48,013 --> 01:11:50,306
"Santa Claus
Is Coming To Town."
1381
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:52,559
- Who sings it?
- Everybody.
1382
01:11:52,559 --> 01:11:55,645
Have you never heard
any of the Christmas carols
people sing about you?
1383
01:11:55,645 --> 01:11:58,606
No.
I don't have the Internet.
1384
01:11:58,606 --> 01:12:00,775
And I'm not
that self-absorbed.
1385
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,486
Are they good songs?
1386
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:05,363
What if we change
the value of points
1387
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:08,658
based on how many people
are using the app
at a certain time?
1388
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:11,077
We'd call it
surge nicing.
1389
01:12:11,077 --> 01:12:12,746
Ethically questionable.
1390
01:12:12,746 --> 01:12:14,914
But business wise,
it will make you richer.
1391
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,792
Perfect.
L-O-L-O-L-O-L.
1392
01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:18,960
Whoa!
1393
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,628
Stop!
1394
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:25,925
@steveurkel?
And a Bigfoot?
1395
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:27,594
Hey, I'm Santa!
1396
01:12:27,594 --> 01:12:30,221
Whoa! Santa's a Bigfoot?
1397
01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:32,223
Explosion emoji, man.
1398
01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:34,184
You just disrupted
my mind right there. Wow.
1399
01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:36,603
Dudley, we've got
to shut the app down.
1400
01:12:36,603 --> 01:12:39,230
We've turned everyone into
a bunch of holiday zombies
1401
01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:41,691
that are only pretending
to be nice to get a reward.
1402
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:43,860
I know.
I am on the precipice
1403
01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:46,613
of something #epic.
1404
01:12:46,613 --> 01:12:51,576
For a reward,
I'm getting people
to do whatever I want.
1405
01:12:51,576 --> 01:12:53,870
I can make them
be merry if I want.
1406
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,789
But why stop
at the holidays?
1407
01:12:55,789 --> 01:12:57,874
I could also tell them
what to buy,
1408
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,877
or how to think
or how to vote.
1409
01:13:00,877 --> 01:13:03,296
The possibilities
are endless.
1410
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:04,714
Well, aren't we
supposed to be
1411
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:06,674
disrupting people's lives
for the better?
1412
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,718
Uh, yeah.
1413
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,845
And what's better
than getting everyone
to do what I tell them?
1414
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:12,347
I'm a genius.
1415
01:13:12,347 --> 01:13:14,099
I'm changing the world.
1416
01:13:14,099 --> 01:13:15,642
I'd be like Santa,
1417
01:13:15,642 --> 01:13:17,811
but year around
and with way better hair.
1418
01:13:17,811 --> 01:13:21,481
Excuse me?
Have you seen these locks?
1419
01:13:21,481 --> 01:13:23,983
What you're doing
is nothing like Santa.
1420
01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:26,277
Oh, please.
Isn't that what Christmas is?
1421
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:29,489
You just pretend to be nice
to get a dolly or a video game.
1422
01:13:29,489 --> 01:13:32,575
All to please a reclusive,
well-resourced mogul
1423
01:13:32,575 --> 01:13:34,702
who lives
in a hard-to-reach place.
1424
01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:39,457
Say hey with five "Y"s
to your new Santa.
1425
01:13:39,457 --> 01:13:42,418
Oh, no. That's cultural
appropriation, honey.
1426
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,087
This is a mistake!
1427
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,672
I want my tech back.
1428
01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:47,090
Uh, remember when
I sang you a song
1429
01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:48,883
about moving fast
and breaking things?
1430
01:13:48,883 --> 01:13:51,386
Well, I've got another song
I'd like to sing for you.
1431
01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:54,347
It's called "No Backsies."
And a one, a two--
1432
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:55,640
No!
1433
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,475
If you're not going
to shut it down,
1434
01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:59,936
then I'll have
to shut you down.
1435
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:03,189
You ever see that GIF
where someone's like,
"Come. Get some."
1436
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:04,732
I'm about to make
one of my own.
1437
01:14:06,860 --> 01:14:08,945
Are you sure
about this, Steve?
1438
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:11,281
You're a little boy,
he's a grown adult.
1439
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,367
That escalated quickly.
1440
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,081
Huh?
1441
01:14:23,501 --> 01:14:25,211
Well, I did not
see that coming.
1442
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,881
It's how real Gs
settle their differences.
1443
01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:31,634
When the "G"
stands for genius.
1444
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:35,722
Seeing as how
you're an uninvited guest
on my yacht air balloon,
1445
01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:38,558
I'll give you the honor
of going first.
1446
01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:39,976
Big mistake.
1447
01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:45,231
People are selfish,
@steveurkel.
1448
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:49,277
They only want to be nice
to get something.
1449
01:14:49,277 --> 01:14:52,071
- You are wrong, Dudley!
- Whoa!
1450
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:54,532
Hmm.
1451
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:56,659
Uh-oh.
1452
01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:59,370
Ah!
1453
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:06,794
Whoopsie.
1454
01:15:09,589 --> 01:15:11,007
A-ha!
1455
01:15:22,352 --> 01:15:24,938
{\an8}I'm just making
some extra money
to get my dad a gift.
1456
01:15:24,938 --> 01:15:26,439
{\an8}This is better
than basketball.
1457
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:28,733
{\an8}You want me to celebrate
Hanukkah with your robot?
1458
01:15:28,733 --> 01:15:30,193
{\an8}Donkey cheese.
1459
01:15:33,988 --> 01:15:34,989
What?
1460
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,327
- Ah!
- Hey!
1461
01:15:41,246 --> 01:15:42,247
Ho-ho-ho.
1462
01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:52,423
Check and mate.
1463
01:15:56,177 --> 01:15:58,179
Skull emoji.
1464
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:00,932
Oh.
1465
01:16:00,932 --> 01:16:02,809
Did I do that?
1466
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:04,769
I think I did.
1467
01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:07,522
Yeah! Oh!
1468
01:16:18,324 --> 01:16:19,325
Uh-oh.
1469
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:24,080
Oh, no! Please no!
1470
01:16:29,669 --> 01:16:31,296
Well, that doesn't
look good.
1471
01:16:54,902 --> 01:16:56,070
Is everyone okay?
1472
01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:57,322
Oh, Santa.
1473
01:16:57,322 --> 01:16:59,824
No, Steve, I'm fine.
1474
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:02,493
Magical being, remember?
1475
01:17:02,493 --> 01:17:05,496
Dudley, I'm sorry
I broke your ship.
1476
01:17:05,496 --> 01:17:07,623
You know, I can work it off
to pay you back.
1477
01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:11,836
All the money I made
from the Von Durffel app
kind of makes us even.
1478
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:14,255
If you had asked
for even a small cut...
1479
01:17:14,255 --> 01:17:16,716
Ow!
...you'd be rich.
1480
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,468
But...
1481
01:17:18,468 --> 01:17:22,096
♪ No backsies
That's what I said. No... ♪
1482
01:17:22,096 --> 01:17:24,057
I forget the rest,
but it's really cool.
1483
01:17:24,057 --> 01:17:26,642
I don't invent things
to get rich.
1484
01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:29,645
I do it to bring happiness
to people.
1485
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:33,441
ROTFL.
1486
01:17:33,441 --> 01:17:36,361
Happiness is overrated,
@steveurkel.
1487
01:17:36,361 --> 01:17:39,072
People have already
had a taste of the future,
1488
01:17:39,072 --> 01:17:41,032
and they're not going back.
1489
01:17:41,032 --> 01:17:43,743
This is the future, okay?
1490
01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:45,453
Embrace it.
1491
01:17:45,453 --> 01:17:47,789
Your old ideas
about being nice
1492
01:17:47,789 --> 01:17:50,416
have been disrupted
by something better,
1493
01:17:50,416 --> 01:17:52,418
by someone better.
1494
01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:54,754
By me!
1495
01:17:56,923 --> 01:17:59,133
What's going on?
Did the app crash?
1496
01:17:59,133 --> 01:18:01,177
Will these points count?
I need my points!
1497
01:18:02,220 --> 01:18:04,055
Points!
1498
01:18:04,055 --> 01:18:06,140
I can't finish
these decorations
if I don't have my points.
1499
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:08,101
Mrs. P, stop!
1500
01:18:08,101 --> 01:18:11,270
You don't need to hang
Mr. Kalan's lights
for points.
1501
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,355
Yes, I do!
1502
01:18:12,355 --> 01:18:14,399
Why else would I do this?
1503
01:18:14,399 --> 01:18:16,484
Because he's your neighbor.
1504
01:18:16,484 --> 01:18:19,070
And even though
you two argue sometimes,
1505
01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:23,074
you worry about him
climbing on a ladder
because he's so old.
1506
01:18:23,074 --> 01:18:24,700
Hey, words hurt!
1507
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:29,330
That's not winning you
any holiday cheer points.
1508
01:18:29,330 --> 01:18:31,958
Being nice
isn't a game to win.
1509
01:18:31,958 --> 01:18:33,626
I see that now.
1510
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:36,546
The holidays aren't something
we do for points.
1511
01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:38,714
Points.
1512
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:42,343
We celebrate the holidays
because it's an excuse
to check in on someone
1513
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:43,636
when they have a bad day
1514
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,888
and offer
to take him caroling.
1515
01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:48,182
Being with a friend
to celebrate Hanukkah
1516
01:18:48,182 --> 01:18:50,726
because you enjoy
each other's company.
1517
01:18:50,726 --> 01:18:53,813
It's not a bunch
of empty gestures
to win a prize.
1518
01:18:53,813 --> 01:18:55,940
Points?
1519
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,776
It's celebrating each day
like a holiday.
1520
01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:01,612
Because the people
around us are gifts.
1521
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:03,239
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1522
01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:04,907
How is he broadcasting
from the Von Durffel game?
1523
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:07,577
Magical being, honey.
Boop!
1524
01:19:07,577 --> 01:19:10,079
It's not about
proving how good we are,
1525
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,665
but recognizing
how lucky we are.
1526
01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:14,542
Presents and treats
are great,
1527
01:19:14,542 --> 01:19:16,169
but the holidays
are a reminder
1528
01:19:16,169 --> 01:19:18,504
of how important we are
to one another.
1529
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:21,007
Wow, you're still corny.
1530
01:19:24,469 --> 01:19:28,014
The nicest thing you can do
is to celebrate each other.
1531
01:19:28,014 --> 01:19:30,308
That's why I love
December so much.
1532
01:19:30,308 --> 01:19:31,601
Holiday boy!
1533
01:19:31,601 --> 01:19:33,978
Were you
about to sing?
1534
01:19:33,978 --> 01:19:35,354
Uh, yes.
1535
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:38,191
Well, not without me!
1536
01:19:38,191 --> 01:19:39,484
♪ Driving a bus ♪
1537
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:45,239
♪ Is a hard job ♪
1538
01:19:45,239 --> 01:19:51,162
♪ Where I often feel alone ♪
1539
01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:58,836
♪ Truth is
You lift my spirits ♪
1540
01:19:58,836 --> 01:20:03,424
♪ I just wish
You were a baritone ♪
1541
01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:07,345
♪ I love December ♪
1542
01:20:07,345 --> 01:20:09,889
♪ It's a great time
of the year ♪
1543
01:20:09,889 --> 01:20:11,974
♪ From the first
to the 31st ♪
1544
01:20:11,974 --> 01:20:15,102
♪ Let's celebrate
all the good cheer ♪
1545
01:20:15,102 --> 01:20:17,605
♪ We may celebrate
different holidays ♪
1546
01:20:17,605 --> 01:20:20,066
♪ But December
brings us all together ♪
1547
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:23,027
♪ With the shared love
of our traditions ♪
1548
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,530
♪ And a hatred
for cold weather ♪
1549
01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:27,782
♪ We love going
block to block ♪
1550
01:20:27,782 --> 01:20:30,535
♪ To see
the neighborhood lights ♪
1551
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:33,037
♪ And caroling door to door ♪
1552
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:36,249
♪ As long as we've got
the music rights ♪
1553
01:20:36,249 --> 01:20:38,125
Oh, he gets to sing?
1554
01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:39,669
No, thank you.
1555
01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:42,713
If I don't get to sing,
nobody gets to sing.
1556
01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:44,340
♪ No backsies ♪
1557
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:46,217
Sir, you appear
to have a problem.
1558
01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:47,260
Am I off key?
1559
01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:49,053
Enormously so.
1560
01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:50,721
But in your rush to get
the Von Durffel game online,
1561
01:20:50,721 --> 01:20:52,348
you moved a little too fast.
1562
01:20:52,348 --> 01:20:54,100
Ugh. What did I break?
1563
01:20:54,100 --> 01:20:56,018
The company.
1564
01:20:56,018 --> 01:20:57,436
The shareholders are meeting
right now to vote you out.
1565
01:20:57,436 --> 01:20:59,689
No,
they can't do that.
1566
01:20:59,689 --> 01:21:01,816
If you had read
the user agreement
of your contract,
1567
01:21:01,816 --> 01:21:03,401
you'd see
they very much can.
1568
01:21:03,401 --> 01:21:07,113
No one ever reads those!
Come on!
1569
01:21:07,113 --> 01:21:12,201
♪ A Department Store Santa
Is more than just a shift ♪
1570
01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:14,787
♪ It's seeing the joy
on someone's face ♪
1571
01:21:14,787 --> 01:21:20,167
♪ When they find
that perfect gift ♪
1572
01:21:20,167 --> 01:21:26,465
♪ I never thought
I was a helmet guy ♪
1573
01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:32,305
♪ But I look amazin' ♪
1574
01:21:32,305 --> 01:21:34,390
♪ And you must be impressed ♪
1575
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:38,936
♪ Your old man
Sounds like T-Pazin ♪
1576
01:21:38,936 --> 01:21:41,522
It's T-Pain, Dad.
1577
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:43,065
Who is T-Pazin?
1578
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:50,114
♪ Celebrating Hanukkah
You help honor my history ♪
1579
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:52,908
♪ And the principles
of Kwanzaa ♪
1580
01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,369
♪ Empower community ♪
1581
01:21:55,369 --> 01:21:57,997
♪ The solstice
is the time we reflect ♪
1582
01:21:57,997 --> 01:22:00,750
♪ While we look forward ♪
1583
01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:03,169
♪ Festivus is from
a TV show ♪
1584
01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:05,046
♪ Does that make it awkward? ♪
1585
01:22:05,046 --> 01:22:08,257
♪ Not as long as
You love December ♪
1586
01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:10,426
♪ And respect
that I do, too ♪
1587
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:12,637
♪ It's not just about
a Christmas tree ♪
1588
01:22:12,637 --> 01:22:13,929
♪ This month's about... ♪
1589
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:17,683
I told you, kiddo.
You're a gift.
1590
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:19,518
Thanks, Santa.
1591
01:22:19,518 --> 01:22:21,854
- Hmm.
- Aw.
1592
01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:26,275
♪ ...Thirty-first ♪
1593
01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:28,569
♪ Let's celebrate
All the good cheer ♪
1594
01:22:31,906 --> 01:22:33,991
The block looks amazing.
1595
01:22:33,991 --> 01:22:35,743
Is that house
decorated for Soyal?
1596
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:37,953
Wow!
1597
01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:39,955
And there's one
for Kwanzaa.
1598
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,874
This is really great.
1599
01:22:41,874 --> 01:22:45,378
It's not complete
until you decorate
your house.
1600
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:49,548
It looks like now
the whole block
is waiting on you.
1601
01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:52,009
Oh, Mrs. Paxson,
you silly goose.
1602
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:53,886
I decorated last March.
1603
01:22:53,886 --> 01:22:56,514
I was just waiting
on everybody else.
1604
01:23:07,191 --> 01:23:09,860
I'm really excited
about my light display
this year.
1605
01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:12,071
I hooked it up
to a solar battery
1606
01:23:12,071 --> 01:23:14,740
so you don't have to worry
about blowing out the power
to the street.
1607
01:23:14,740 --> 01:23:16,033
Unlike last year.
1608
01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:27,545
Did I do that?
1609
01:23:40,808 --> 01:23:42,226
Donkey cheese!
119026
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