All language subtitles for Fargo.S05E02.Trials.And.Tribulations.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-playWEB

I was sheriff of this county when I was 25.

Hard to believe.

Grandfather was a sheriff.
Father, too.

Ranchers all.

Working the land through times
flush and fallow.

There's a natural order
to things.

We know it in our bones.

Jesus was a man,
not some bearded lady.

And just as water
flows downhill,

a husband is head
of his household.

Under him, the woman abides.

She holds her virtue close

until that matrimonial
threshold is crossed,

and then she opens to him,

as the flower opens to the sun.

And in exchange,

the man shelters
and protects his female,

as the sword has its sheath.

Okay, but what I'm saying is, you...

No. He only raises
his hand to her

when she forgets her place
and acts the man.

And-and then only
for instruction,

never taking any pleasure
or satisfaction from the task.

Whereas you, son,

seem to have played
a Tommy Lee drum solo

all over your missus's facade.

- This-- I fell is all.
- Hey, quiet now.

Sheriff's talking.

Come here. Take comfort, dear.

Daughter, these hard times
are over.

All right?

I'll see to your husband's
instruction myself.

What 'struction?

Now, be honest.

Do you ever question
your man's supremacy

when he speaks?

Just when he drinks
or with the crank, you know?

I try to stay out
of the way, but...

Don't hurt him.

We got three boys
who need a daddy. - Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you. You got any
of that huckleberry pie?

-Sure.
- That's great.

Lookit, dick cheese,
I know you...

Quiet.

Go home. Fix a meal.

Pray on it before
you take the first bite.

Forgiveness. Tend to his burns.

Try to be deferential.

Cater to his needs as a man
with your mouth

in order to sow harmony.

I'll come by in the morning,
see if the lesson stuck.

Go on.

Go.

They missed her.

What happened?

You send a man to do a job without all the information,

how can the job be done?

Yeah, what are you?

The Riddler?

You say the woman
is a woman, a...

How do you...?

Housewife.

Never do you mention
she is, for real, a tiger.

You're saying you couldn't handle some girl?

100 pounds soaking wet?

Huh?

It was on the wire this morning.

This half-wit shot up a
filling station outside Beulah.

Murdered the clerk.

Killed a state trooper.

Put a hole in the leg
of another.

And this retard's partner
with a cracked skull

and his face half
burned off in the morgue.

You say housewife,
so I bring one guy.

You say tiger...

that's a different guy.

Cost you three times.

Did they take her? The police?

Fled on foot.

Possibly home.

Possibly to the wind.

Could you find her?

She could be found.

Where people go,
the thoughts they have,

these are known to me.

Instincts.

Who flees, who fights.

It's a question of price.

The job it was,
not the job you said.

Pain and suffering.

A man, missing an appendage,

self-sewing his own skin.

Scarred for life, he's told.

And then this new ask.

Hunting a tiger.

And it forces the man to ask:

why you want the tiger?

She's my wife.

Don't tell him shit.

I already said
I can handle this.

We know where she lives now.
Her alias.

She made vows to me.

A pledge.

In sickness and in health.

Consider it a debt unpaid,
leaving me in limbo.

Husband yes or husband no.

See, she hid from me
nine, ten years.

Interest accrued.

Until the debt could no longer
be paid with money.

Then, one day, there she is,
fingerprints in the system.

Now the limbo can end,

the debt can be collected.

Tell me something, friend.

If a man is pure,

his actions are only ever good.

You believe that?

I'm a nihilist.

What the fuck does that mean?

I believe in nothing.

You believe in money.

Yeah?

Well, thanks for your help.

Go on with Gator.
He'll get you paid.

Dad.

Original plus pain
and suffering.

Yeah, of course.

Take it out
of the rainy day fund.

Fixing place.

Fixing place. Right.

Come on, numbnuts.

A man is grateful.

I'm not saying sorry,
but you understand.

I had to rough you up a little
back there.

You coming up
snake eyes and all.

With her being
such a tiny bird, which...

You know...

they used to be dinosaurs.

Hundreds okay?

Surprise, shitbird.

- What's going on, Roy?
- Go on, get back to the house now.

Like we said, this is all just a misunderstanding.

Had a bad day is all.

A bad day?

Yeah.

Left the house a mess.

Last I checked, weren't a crime.

No, ma'am.

I'm a recidivist
on that count myself.

Laundry especially.

Oh, laundry.

But what I'm concerned
about is the blood.

Told you, I cut my feet up
on some glass.

You did.

And I see the wounds.

But what I'm dealing with
is the fact

that the blood
on your entry floor

is different than the blood type
we have on record for you.

Records?

Those...

You know, I heard a man went
into the hospital in St. Paul

fer a kidney transplant,

he ended up
with someone else's brain.

- No way.
- Yeah.

Well, I'm not sure...

That don't sound accurate.

What I'm saying is,
hospitals make mistakes.

Then there's the hair DNA from
the balaclava in your boudoir.

Told you, I bought
that secondhand.

You know, it's my fault.

You know, I came home,
front door was wide open, uh,

all the... blood.

Uh, I-I'm not ashamed
to say I panicked.

But, you know, Dot's home,

and, uh, that's all
that matters.

So, uh, whatever the--

You know, she's my wife.
And I believe her.

So, if there's a form
or something I can sign to...

you know, drop the charges...

That's not how this works.

- I got to...
- Hmm?

It's almost time for pickup.

I told Scotty we could
go to DQ after school, so...

Well, okay, then.

Thanks for your time.

Mm-hmm.

We're reviewing traffic cameras
in the neighborhood,

so if I have
any more questions...

No.

She's...

Wayne, she's not
listening to me.

Uh, Danish Graves
is our attorney,

so if you need
to contact us again,

which you shouldn't, uh...

Okay, then.

So, it's a puzzler.

Spoke to Wayne.

Dot's back.

She's what now?

Yeah, came home on her own.

A little bruised.

Bloody feet.

She escaped?

Well, that's the conundrum.

Says she wasn't taken.

Says it was just a driving
around type scenario.

Getting her head straight.

Bullshit.

You saw the police report.

Something's fishy here.

Agreed.

I smell a rat.

You think...

Well, what do you think?

A play, maybe.

Extortion,
but she got cold feet.

Kidnapped herself,
you're thinking?

I mean, what do we know
about this girl, really?

Well, I did the background check
when they got engaged.

Well, you said yourself,
not much there.

Pretty thin, for sure.

Just the birth certificate,

a few school records,
previous addresses.

Well, it's too good to be true,
now I'm thinking.

So, what do we...?

Tell you what we don't want--
police digging their noses

into other people's business.

Asking questions
that can't be answered.

Then what?

Possibly this thing
goes federal.

You know, wrong person
makes a phone call.

You don't think Wayne's...

Who knows what to think?

He's got the dealership,

a decent roof over their head,

but maybe she's pushing him
for more.

Putting ideas in his head.

Eh... I don't know.

So we separate 'em,
like the cops.

You brace him. I go at her.

Get to the bottom of things.

If this deal's for real

and they got a notion
to take what's mine,

we need to nip it in the bud.

Keep things in-house.

Ah, geez.

Everything was going
along just fine, too.

And now, what do you...

This... enemy within situation.

She made promises. To me.

My son.

To have and to hold.

For richer and poorer.

And that's a debt
we're gonna collect.

♪ Well, I get up
at seven, yeah ♪

♪ And I go to work at nine ♪

♪ I got no time for livin'♪

♪ Yes, I'm working
all the time ♪

♪ It seems to me ♪

♪ I could live my life ♪

♪ A lot better
than I think I am ♪

♪ I guess that's
why they call me ♪

♪ They call me the workin' man ♪

♪ They call me the workin' man ♪

♪ I guess that's what I am ♪

♪ They call me the workin' man ♪

♪ I guess that's what I am.♪

You gonna make it
there, sunshine?

Fucker got the drop
on me.

Tell me her name again?

Uh, goes by Dorothy Lyon now.

Lives in a suburb outside
the Twin Cities.

Married, you said?

Going on ten years.

Husband owns a car dealership,
some kind of...

uh, Korean model.

Koreans make cars?

I guess.

Anyway, she's got a daughter

named Scotty. She's about nine.

Roy, we got FBI here.

Let's send 'em up.

What do you want me to...?

Ah, don't worry about it.

Hard day at the office.

Like the sign says,
he's a hard man for hard times.

And by "he" I mean me.

Agent "Ja-Queen."

It's Joaquin.

This is Agent Meyer.

We're new in the Fargo office.

We thought we'd come by,

see why you aren't enforcing
any of our laws.

What laws?

Oh, you know, gun laws, drug laws.

Any of the half-dozen
other American laws

passed and ratified
by the United States government

that you don't seem
to recognize.

Well, Agent Ja-Queen,
I think you'll find

that there is no one
on God's green earth

who is a greater enforcer
of the laws of this land

than Roy Tillman.

Why do I feel like
there's a "but" here?

But...

...what you need to know is
that I amthe law of the land.

Elected by the residents
of this county

to interpret and enforce
the Constitution

given unto us by Almighty God.

Mm-hmm.

Freedom.

Amen.

You know, I hear that word
a lot out here.

I'm curious...

what you think it means.

Agent, if you don't know
what freedom is,

I don't think me saying
the words out loud

is gonna teach you.

Why don't you go
and do your chores?

Seriously?

Do you want a towel, or...?

Does my discussing
matters of state

in moist repose bother you?

Jesus.

Now, what is it
you wanted to discuss?

Well, like I said, we're new in town.

We thought we'd come open
a collegial dialogue.

Maybe let you know
we're looking into the practices

- of your office.
- Very unorthodox practices.

Possibly illegal.

Illegal according to who?

Maybe you weren't
paying attention,

but I am the law around here.

So you said.

Removable only by the governor
or my constituents,

who love me, by the way,

because I say what I want
and I do as I please.

And I know the difference
between right and wrong.

Don't you mean legal
and illegal?

Well...

did you know that
in North Dakota it is illegal

for a charitable group to hold

more than two poker games
a year?

And similarly, it is illegal

to keep an elk in a sandbox
in your own backyard.

I shit you not.

Now, if you were to own a tavern

and serve beer and pretzels
at the same time,

I could arrest you.

And in Waverly...

the law forbids horses
from sleeping in bathtubs.

You beginning to get
the drift here?

I'm a sheriff
of the American Constitution.

Bound by duty, blood,
and tradition

to enforce what is right
and to prosecute what is wrong.

And the law, my friends...

...has very little
to do with it.

So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen,

if you'll excuse me,

I have some justice
to administer.

You can see yourself out.

What do you say next time
we get an extra Blizzard

and hold it upside down
to see how long it takes

for the stuffing
to come out, huh?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Your tea selection is atrocious.

How did you get in here?

Hey, Nana.

Are you wearing lipstick?

That's ketchup.
We had curly fries.

Like I said, how come
you're in my home?

Of course I have a key.

It's my son's house.

Still, sorry if-if
we startled you.

Imagine intruders breaking
into your house

twice in one week.

Oh, wait.

That didn't happen.

What do you want?

Jerome, could you see
my granddaughter to her room?

Maybe she wants to show you
her dolls.

I don't have dolls, Nana.
I like ninjas.

Is that some kind of cat?

You're silly.

Come on, young Skywalker.

I'll show you how
a true samurai fights, hmm?

Whoa.

Well, I guess with you
when it rains it pours.

That...

I mean, this is all
just a bunch of silliness.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed
by all the fuss.

Signs of a break-in, I'm told.

Evidence you fought back,
which good for you.

I'd have skinned 'em
where they stood.

Please.

More like Mama had a tantrum

and it all got blowed
out of proportion.

Honestly, like a snowball
rolling downhill.

Well, either you got
a screw loose,

or somebody came for you
and you got away...

and now you're lying about it.

Mom.

No.

I'm not your mom.

You're married to my son,
mother to my granddaughter.

I wanted a girl with papers,

but my Wayne always
liked a sassy thing

with a tight caboose,
so here you are.

Haven't you ever had
one of those days?

So what if I do got
a screw loose?

Stress and the like.

I'm holding up my end
of the deal.

We're man and wife,

him and me,

and he loves me.

There are ways
we could change that.

The holy bond.

Revocation of the trust.

And cut you both
out of the will,

see if that moves the marker.

What are you saying?

I'm saying I don't trust you.

You're up to something.

And I won't have you
dragging my son down.

So...

best you make excuses,

you go back to wherever it is
you were before you met.

If you go easy, I could
even see my way to...

staking you
for the first... two years.

Listen, bitch.

I've climbed through six kinds
of hell to get where I am.

And no Ivy League royal wannabe
is gonna run me off

just because she doesn't
like the way I smell.

If you want to tussle with me...

...you better sleep
with both eyes open.

Because nobody takes
what's mine and lives.

Anyhoo...

thanks for stopping by.

Dinner Sunday?

I'll bring my blue salad.

Jerome.

We're leaving.

Always nice to see you, dear.

Maybe think about getting
some iron into your diet.

You look like a corpse.

Mom?

Ooh.

I'm hungry.

What?

You just had DQ.

It didn't take.

Oh. What's going on down there?

A wedgie.

Tell you what.

How about we make
a vegetable medley

with carrot sticks
and the bell peppers you like?

And then you can help Mom
do some kind of craft project.

What kind of craft project?

You're gonna have to go
downstairs to find out.

Come on.

Ah! Bye-bye.

Nice done.

Awesome.

- Ooh.
- ♪ Did you ever have ♪

♪ That feeling in your life ♪

♪ That someone
was watching you?♪

♪ He don't have no reason,
that's right ♪

♪ But still he's there
watching you ♪

♪ Someone is waiting
just outside the door ♪

♪ To take you away ♪

♪ Everybody knows just
what he's there for ♪

♪ To take you away ♪

- You ready?
-Yeah.

♪ But who wasn't there ♪

♪ That you should look out for?♪

- Whoa.
- ♪ Who wasn't there that you should look out for?♪

♪ Get back inside your wall
and shut the door ♪

♪ Get back inside your wall
and shut the ♪

♪ Door...♪

Keep your hands off
the ball chain, huh?

Mama doesn't want you
getting smooshed like a bug.

Can we do my room next?

Oh, yeah.

Let's go.

Race you.

Don't forget our special 30% off winter deal on...

Great deal, heck of a deal.

Oh, sure, yeah, I got
those VIN numbers right here.

Actually, Phil,
I'll have to call you back.

All right.

Finally saw the light
on that Porsche, did you?

What are you, uh...?

- What are you...?
- I got some business to discuss, Wayne.

Ah.

Is he on?

Mom?

Got a problem here, kid.
Need your help with it.

Of course, yeah.

Is it that landscaper again?

No, it's not
the landscaper, moron.

It's your wife.

Now hold on.
That's, uh...

This whole kidnapping
that ain't a kidnapping thing,

well, there's something
fishy about that.

Full low tide, if you ask me.

Like the dog's breath.

Now, we talked about this, uh...

She had a bad day.

Son.

I talked to the police.

They got hard evidence
your wife was abducted.

Not to mention,

I just learned they think
they got one of the guys

on a slab over in North Dakota.

Broke his skull in the commode
of a filling station.

- G-Geez.
- Yeah, officer on the scene said

there was a female present
who matches Dot.

Get your head
out of your ass, kid.

She's making a play here,
your missus.

In cahoots with
the kidnappers maybe,

or maybe just seizing
the opportunity.

I'm not sure what or why.

But any way you tell the story,

it ends with me writing a check.

Oh, come on now, Ma,
n-not everything's about money.

Slap him.

I'm... sorry?

You heard me.

My son needs a slap

and I'm not there
to give it to him.

So, as my attorney,
I authorize you

to knock his fucking block off.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Wait a minute-- Aah!

Ow.

Listen to me, boy.

You're back at the kiddie table
on this one.

That's official.

Now shut your hole
and listen to me talk.

Trooper?

Saved.

From what?

Concord grape, I think.

Hmm.

How... may I help you?

Sure, well,
I'm, uh, Deputy Olmstead,

Scandia Police Department
over in Minnesota.

I wanted to ask you
some questions

about events that transpired
last night.

You and everybody else.

Well, sir, I think I might have
a piece of your puzzle.

To wit, the identity of
the missing female you assisted.

If I'm right,
which I think I am.

Color me intrigued.

Taken from her home yesterday
afternoon by two men, we think.

We found blood from one.

Looks like she burned the other
fella's face pretty bad.

Sounds like my girl.

Rambo, basically.

Or, uh, the other fella
from the TV, uh...

- MacGyver.
- Well, I got a picture.

Mm.

What do you know?

It's a party.

Indira Olmstead, Scandia Police Department.

Ah. City girl.

Well, we prefer "women"
these days.

But the rest is accurate.

How can we help you, stranger?

Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County.

Sounds like you had a mix-up in
my neck of the woods last night,

which we run a pretty
tight ship, so...

I take it personal
when bad men appear.

This job will grind you down,
you take it too personal.

What can I say? I like being
on the right side of a gunfight.

Heard you say you had
a picture of the perps?

- Uh, victim. Female.
-Right.

Saw something about, uh,
a woman got taken.

Or escaped or something?

We think these fellas grabbed
her up in Minnesota.

Taking her to points west when
the trooper pulled them over.

She killed one,
the recidivist Donald Ireland,

I think they said.
The other one got away.

Sounds like a real Comanche,
this female you're hunting.

Like I said, I got a photo.
Excuse me.

So, what, she some kind of criminal, also?

Not exactly.

Had a mix-up at her daughter's
school this week.

Tased an officer by accident.

How's that happen?

Heat of the moment,
I'm guessing.

Used to be a saying:

"Minnesota nice."
But I was there.

Nothing nice about Minnesota
that day.

Oops. What'd I do?

- What did you...?
- I must've, I don't know, I pressed something.

Darn it, you deleted
the victim, her photo.

Yeah, me and technology
don't see eye to eye.

Especially now.

This wrist-breaker... ah.

No, it-it's my fault.

I'm not sure what I was thinking
just bringing the one.

Well, I sure hope you find her.

If it was her,
saved my life, I think.

Oh, no, she's home.
A little worse for wear

but intact.

Strangest thing, though.

Despite all evidence,

she's claiming
it never happened.

Never... what now?

Says nobody broke in.

Says she wasn't taken.

Just went for a wander
for ten hours

and then came home
and cooked breakfast.

Cry for attention, sounds like.

Drama queen trying to make
her husband sick.

Who said she has a husband?

No, I mean, I'm assuming.

Description said 30s
in the police report, so...

Well, all I know is,
the woman I met broke loose

like somebody who knows
how small the cage can get.

Wish you had that picture.

Like to meet
that woman again, thank her.

For what? Far as I can tell,

she's the one got you shot
in the first place.

Oh, the job got me shot.

She was just...

trying to get free.

But you know what they say.

Protect and serve.

Yeah, I'm down
with "protect," but...

I ain't in the service industry.

I'm in the kicking ass
and taking names business.

You two have a nice day.

Consider that bitch flummoxed.

What the heck?

Hiya, hon.

What the heck?

Made some shepherd's pie.

Scotty.

What you doing there?

For security. Mom said.

- Yeah.
-Oh.

Hon...

Yeah?

Why is there a sledgehammer
over the front door?

Well, we talked
about an alarm system,

but you said we couldn't
afford a good one, so we...

Well, what the heck is...?

Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch
that. It's electrified.

It's what?

It's plugged into the wall.

Anyone tries to bust in,

well, they'll get
a righteous shock.

Hon, c-can we talk? I...

Wait, how, I'm just gonna...

How about you go upstairs
and, uh,

watch some cartoons
on your Samsung?

Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Let me get my apron off at least.

Uh, Mom came by the lot today.

Er, well, her man did.

Uh, she called in.

Yeah, she...

I saw her, too.

But don't worry.

I think we came
to an understanding.

She said that, or...?

- No.
- Oh.

But women understand each other.

Well, hon, I don't
think you do...

u-understand each other.

She... She's litigating
against you, see.

She, uh...

Well, she thinks
you made this whole thing up.

I... I mean, the whole
thing sounds... loony.

But she-she thinks you're
some kind of con woman.

Uh, playing us for our money.

Uh, in league
with the kidnappers.

I just...

Told you, there were
no kidnappers, just...

Drove around
to-to clear your head.

But-but, hon, the-the...

The-the car was here
the whole time.

Walking, I said, or I-I...

Listen, I believe you.

I'm not the one
you got to... I just...

And she said she can get
the cops out of the equation.

You know, her friend the
attorney general, but, hon...

You know, from-from where she's
sitting the-the whole thing

don't make a lot of sense.

But it makes sense to us.

That's what matters, right?

Yeah, maybe.

But, hon... wh-why-why is there
a, a-a sledgehammer

in the vestibule?

A-And how come Scotty's
making a zombie killer?

Well, like she said. Security.

From what?

Hon...

No, I-I'm just trying
to, you know...

No. You can't.
You-you weren't there.

At the school board.

Neighbor against neighbor.

Society's breaking down here.

The social structure.

What side you're on,
whether you're for or against,

I-I'm just saying...

We need to wake up here.

Protect ourselves, in case...

In case what?

In case...

ruffians at the door.

Or Mr. Abernathy decides
he wants revenge.

Or a thousand other maybes.

Uh, who?

Scotty's math teacher.

The fella I tased
before the cop.

Y-You tased the math teacher?

Well...

I got a bad feeling, hon.

- Yeah.
- People do.

It's not just me.

And I'm, I-I'm not saying
that we should build a bunker.

Or stockpile long guns.

A few common sense...

Hon, y-y-y-you got electric wire
on the windows.

A few practical solutions.

Unless you're ready to step up

and go state of the art, really
sink some capital into it.

I-I... Should we, I don't know,
sh-sh-sh-should we get a gun?

See? Oh. Now you're thinking.

A gun is a great idea.
We should get a shotgun.

- Oh.
- And maybe a pistol for the bedroom.

- Ah.
- And maybe we could replace my Taser, too.

And, I don't know,
maybe some kind of net.

- Just in case they, uh...
- A net?

- Huh?
- Huh?

All I'm saying is-is,

now we're speaking
the same language.

Oh, you're such a gentle guy.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I know how hard this is.

I-I just want to play
floor hockey

in my socks with Scotty again
and watch Real Housewives.

I know.

And we can and we will.

Hey. We just got to take care
of a few things first.

All I ever wanted was...

Y-You're my dream come true.

And you're mine.

Come on, mister.

Before your daughter's brain
turns to sludge.

Yeah.

Hey, Scotty.

Let's eat!

♪ Boys and girls of every age ♪

♪ Wouldn't you like to see
something strange?♪

♪ Come with us
and you will see ♪

♪ This, our town of Halloween ♪

♪ This is Halloween,
this is Halloween ♪

♪ Pumpkins scream
in the dead of night ♪

Pull in here.
I got to take a piss.

♪ This is Halloween,
everybody make a scene ♪

♪ Trick or treat till the
neighbors gonna die of fright ♪

♪ It's our town,
everybody scream ♪

♪ In this town of Halloween ♪

♪ I am the one
hiding under your bed ♪

♪ Teeth ground sharp
and eyes glowing red ♪

♪ I am the one
hiding under your stairs ♪

♪ Fingers like snakes
and spiders in my hair ♪

♪ This is Halloween,
this is Halloween ♪

♪ Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween.♪

- Want a pop?
- No, I'm fine.

Whoa.

I got us some jerky.

Spicy kind.

You better keep
those windows down.

Fuck, that's hot.

Where is this guy?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Now I get it.