All language subtitles for 2016 Macho ! VOSTGB

HYPOCRISY REVEALS THAT UNDER
THE MASK THERE IS ANOTHER MASK

I hate it! I hate it!

I absolutely hate it, Gina.

Je l'adore. Je l'adore. Je l'adore!

Create beauty, just like Nature does.

Easy, plentiful,
unlimited, and colorful.

Modestly, that's what...

I do.

-Evaristo! We have a problem with Vivi!
-What?

-You gained six pounds!
-No way! You sewed it on wrong!

Turn around, fatso!

Don't torture me! You're so rude.

I bring you to New York,
and what do you do?

You eat like a pig!

-Hurry up!
-I can't!

-I can't breathe!
-Then don't breathe!

-Evo, are you not getting mad?
-Why?

The shoes don't fit!

What's going on, boss?
What's going on?

What's wrong?
Did you swallow a pin?

-Two?
-Three!

Do something!
He swallowed three pins!

-Do something!
-He swallowed three pins!

-Give him some bolillo!
-A bolillo!

Give him a bolillo!

Where are you, girl?

-The collar...
-Evaristo!

-Evaristo is choking.
-It doesn't matter.

-Turn around. Lift the collar.
-I have no shoes!

-Tiptoe! Come on!
-Okay.

Bravo! Bravo!

Of course I am scared to death
to return to my motherland

and be exposed
to the ruthless local critics.

Small town, big hell, right?

Sometimes I ask myself,
"Why do you put yourself through this?

Why not be a boxer, like your father?

Or a priest, like Pope Francis?

Or a union leader, a dictator,
something like that?”

Twenty years ago, you were
l'enfant terrible of national fashion.

Now, your designs are trendy

and critically acclaimed
all around the world.

Tell me. How does it feel
to be Evaristo Jiménez?

I'll tell you how it is to be me.
It means exposing my heart

every season:
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...

on a silver platter. And what for?

To be eaten by some fucking vultures.

The critics!

Do you think it's easy
to fight against a sea of lamés,

chiffons, brocades, tulle, laces,

and models who constantly
gain and lose weight?

And people who applaud.

-Bravo!
-Bravo!

And what for? What for?

To be judged.

All I'm asking is this:
since he is pampered in New York...

He is pampered, right?
They treat him like a Zulu king.

Do we have to kneel and worship him
in this land of Indians?

Sorry, but no, honey.

Sorry, but what I saw in New York
was very pretentious.

A glamorous show, tall models,
retro music,

but what I want to know is:
what about aesthetics?

That seems to be lost...

-I hate her!
-Evo, listen to me!

The New York Times
already gave its opinion! Evo!

Evo! Evo, don't be childish!

Evo!

Evaristo! Evaristo!

Jiménez! It's just one critic!

It's really hard to be Mr. Evaristo.

-Oh, Conchita!
-I understand him.

Evo was terrified. The scariest thing

about a very successful collection

is what comes next.

You wake up the next morning
and start from scratch.

Of course, Evaristo has a method
to get over that creative zero.

Obviously, it's a secret.

-What I want...
-Glasses off!

Ah, right.

Sorry. As I was saying...

at a certain point, or in his own words,
a "highly inspired moment",

two elements appear to Evaristo.

An animal and a diva.
And he mixes the both of them.

That's how the designs are born.
For example, last season...

-Last season, it was zebras.
-Exactly! And Dolores del Río.

Two years ago, it was Björk
and monarch butterflies.

The amazing monarch butterflies.

This year, it's still a mystery.

We don't know who will be the diva.
But if you ask me,

I would love him to choose
a Latin American animal.

I don't know, maybe a coquí.
Puerto Rico. Delightful.

Come here.

Who are you?

Sandro,
the new administrative assistant.

Oh, the office boy.

I brought you some coffee.

Thanks, Sandy.

Excuse me.

Why are you running away?
I won't bite. Come closer.

I won't do anything.

Do you like it?

-It's very nice.
-"Very nice"?

You can leave now.

"Very nice."

No, no! Wait, wait!
Take off that bow. Open the neckline.

And please, shorten those sleeves!

We've already shortened them three times,
Mr. Evaristo!

-Then do it thirty more, Conchita!
-Yes, sir.

What if you change the animal, dear?

She looks like an Andean llama,
doesn't she?

No, maybe it's a...

-What do you think, Conchita?
-A llama?

Liar!

These sleeves...

are an insult to haute couture!

Open the neckline!
And take this thing off!

She can go, please.

Sometimes, Evo chooses an animal,

tortures it over and over again,
and then kills it.

-Okay, much better.
-Much better.

You're a genius.
Nobody can deny that.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute, dear.

Listen, I like you a lot...

but you're ruining my dress.

May I make some small corrections?

-Yes, sir.
-Can you stand up straight?

As if you were a homo sapiens erectus.

Now, follow me.

I want you to walk with me,
super straight, super distinguished.

Come on. Walk and look like
the world is boring you.

"I'm so bored." Now turn right,
like a bullfighter!

Turn left, and "Olé!"
Then off you go!

Off you go! Off you go!
You're going home, honey!

What a disgrace!

I know Mr. Evaristo likes men,

but he doesn't have to bully the ladies.

She's not a lady.

-She's a model, Conchita.
-Jesus Christ!

She's fired, right?

Of course!
I don't want to see her again.

Nancy was her name.

Viviana.

Vivi. She prefers we call her Vivi.

She's a goddess.

Like Aphrodite.

A woman from Venus
who came to visit this planet of apes.

She doesn't walk. She floats.

Zero friction. Zero gravity.

Is this broadcasting on Animal Planet?

You're such a malevolent creature.

No, Viviana. They're documenting
Evaristo's creative process.

Is that tamarind?

Yes, with salt
and a pinch of chili pepper.

Hey, hey, hey!

You can't stare at any macho
like that! Except...

Except who?

Your husband, of course.

Her husband is a triple "S" macho man.

Strong, Savage, and Serious.

-He owns half the country.
-Oh, stop.

I have some new stuff to show you.
It's all inspired by you.

You are going to look
even more spectacular.

-Do you have time?
-I don't know. Let me think.

Well, don't take long.

Sorry, guys, but this is top secret.

I want to show Vivi the first designs
of my au naturel collection.

In English that means "natural".

He kicked us out.

Let me think what we can do.

That was a crucial moment for me.
I was filming in Morelia,

the war between the military
and the drug cartels.

When they offered me to shoot
this documentary, I thought,

"Fashion will be like a balm
that heals me from violence."

Closer, closer.

I just never imagined that for me
to film Evaristo Jiménez

I would need to use precisely that!

War tactics.

Karen, my dear!

-What's up, sister?
-God, she called me "sister"!

Come on, give me a kiss.

-No way, sis!
-Come on, honey!

Triple "S" macho men
must be educated in love.

Come on.

Come on! Help her. Let's go!

Come on, move.
Go on, blondie. That's it. Okay.

-You look gorgeous, honey.
-Thanks.

What shopping does for a woman, right?

My friend and I were saying

our women are always very happy
after coming here.

All of them.

Really? All the women?

Well, sis, we are leaving.
Send the bill to our house.

Karen called me "sis" again!

In my next life, if I come back a man,
I want to be a wild macho man like you.

Or maybe not. I might scare myself.

Well, bye!

-Thanks for coming.
-See you, sis!

Please, understand that Evaristo Jiménez
was more famous for being gay

than for being a fashion designer.

Evaristo was an iconic gay
in this country.

The gay guy with which
powerful people take pictures

when they want to show off
as progressive.

It was in that capacity
that he was awarded by the Congress.

He got access to the Presidential House.

And was invited
by the country's Archbishop

to design the new collection
of sacred robes

that were so controversial at the time.

-Penguins?
-He dreamed about penguins last night.

C'est très joli!

In Passerelle Magazine,
we adore penguins.

Well, if Passerelle's editor in chief,

who knows a thing or two
about fashion, loves penguins...

-I will work with penguins.
-Yeah, I know a thing or two.

Now, we only need a diva
for our maestro to start designing.

It's a very humble orphanage.

The Sacred Cross Orphanage,

from the Order of the Barefoot Carmelitas
of Bogota.

I'll take the quesadillas
with a touch of chili pepper.

-Sorry, Vladimir.
-If this was Vladimir's idea,

I agree to take you to Colombia.

There are other Latin American designers
more renowned, by the way,

that would kill their mother to do it.

But Gina wants you to have the chance.

I really loved your fashion show
in New York. It was super cool!

So, we are going to show
the same collection, but in Bogota.

Exactly! And when it's over,

Evo is going to give a 50,000-dollar check
to the nuns. And that's all!

But the 50,000-dollar check
would be donated by Passerelle, right?

No! By you.

By us? Our brand?

-What is Passerelle going to donate?
-What do you mean?

I'm going to kill myself.

The shooting, daddy.

Beside five million copies
of the magazine, nothing.

What else do you want?

Evo, it's a great opportunity
to be on the pages

of the world's most important
fashion magazine.

-Okey dokey, I understand.
-I'm sorry. What did you say?

I said, "Okey dokey, I understand."

"Okey dokey"? Come on!

He said "okey dokey".
Why are you so mad?

Because he is an insensitive
and predator macho

who think it's normal
that everything is given to him.

Pardon me, but are you saying
that Evo is a macho man?

Yes, my dear Gina.
Evaristo Jiménez is a macho man!

No matter how much makeup
he puts on it, it's very obvious!

You are hysterical, baby!
Me? A macho man?

He says he loves men,
but has never made a design for a man.

Not even for a boy!
Not even a handkerchief!

And we have never seen
any of his boyfriends!

Are you saying Evo is a phony?

A phony, a fraud,
and I would dare say...

-He is a traitor! A traitor!
-A what?

A closet heterosexual
that has taken advantage

of the social guilt regarding minorities
for his own benefit!

I'm really upset, people!

I'm so mad,
I think we should punish him

by boycotting his brand worldwide!

-No!
-He's a fraud! Mark my words, child!

-Mark my words!
-Vladimir, calm down!

To me, this was another
key moment in the documentary.

If they catch us, we'll go to jail.

Are you with me or against me?

I realized that my duty was not

to document the creation
of a new fashion collection.

But to spy on and expose a phony.

-That bald and envious bitch!
-Don't smoke inside the car!

Don't you understand what
a boycott means to our brand?

It means closing all the boutiques,
all the workshops after 10 years

-of sacrifices...
-Get rid of that cigarette. Cookie!

Evo...

I just had a creepy thought.

How many women have you banged?

Watch your mouth!

I only "bang" my haute couture.

I have made love
to some customers and models.

Why?

-Well, count the duchess, too.
-The Duchess of Parma?

Old women turn me on, what can I do?

Okay. Who else?

After that, we left to New York, right?

Well, on the flight I met
that politician,

the chubby one,
who speaks very formally, you know?

The Democrat representative?

Who cares what party she's from?

-Who else?
-Well, in New York.

I don't know, write it down...
Four or five waitresses.

And a Mini Mart cashier.

-When did you go there?
-They're open 24/7.

-Anyway...
-How many are there?

I slept with the ones in Mexico twice.

-Evaristo, that's 322 women!
-It's not that many.

In 18 months? Not that many?

You must be just as happy
as these 322 women.

But you didn't think about
the 322 husbands...

of these 322 women,
including Karen!

And if that guy new, he would kill you!

He would, wouldn't he?

-They're still filming us.
-Forget about them.

Are you sure they can't hear us?

-How do we add the voices?
-It's really easy. Look.

Just zoom in.

Switch the lipreader

with the voice register
that we already have, and...

A coquí?

-Evaristo, that's 322 women.
-Voilà!

In 18 months?
You don't get it, do you?

Nobody is going to destroy our empire.

Come, I have an idea.

-What?
-It's a good idea.

Rumor has it you are not gay.
You just pretend to be.

Well, it's really simple.

We just need to widen
your sexual preferences.

Do you understand?

-No way!
-Evo!

No, dear! A man is born a pansy.
He can't turn himself in to one.

Come on, Evaristo, that's a lie!

You're the architect
of your own destiny.

That's a cliché!

Okay, so you're the captain
of your own desire.

That's another cliché.

No, wait. It's the same cliché.

Evo, listen to me.
You don't have to become a gay man.

You already look like one.

It's more simple than that.
You just have to add

an accessory to your gay look.
A boyfriend.

-Come on.
-A boyfriend?

Look, he's so pretty!

How do you know he's gay?

It doesn't matter.
You don't have to sleep with him.

Or do you?

Of course not!
No way! I'm not doing that!

You know what? I'd rather Karen
shoot me in the ass!

No way!

-Excuse me, Santos.
-Sandro. My name is Sandro.

Listen, Sandy.

-I want to ask you a favor.
-Yes, sir?

I would like...

I want to ask you...

to pose for me.

I'll pay you...

five hundred pesos per hour.

I'm sorry, but you must have mistaken me
for someone else.

-I don't do those things.
-You don't pose?

Forget those dirty thoughts.
You don't even have to talk.

Then, you can go to a bar
and have a drink on me. Come on.

A thousand pesos.

I'm sorry for saying this, sir, but...

I'm not a prostitute.

And my name is Sandro.

I was very vulnerable that day.
That's why I accepted.

Actually...

I've been like that...

very vulnerable...

since my husband died
from cancer three years ago.

His name was José Andrés.

He was older than me.

He was an architect.

When I buried him...

I came back to our...

to our house and...

I slit my wrists.

A neighbor found me on the floor
and took me to the hospital.

Turn around, please.

I can't turn around.

I love your sense of humor,
but I mean it.

Can you turn around?

I've never recovered
from the attempted suicide.

I feel that some day
I'll gather the courage and...

Can you put your right hand
on your neck?

Twist your hip.
More. That's it! There.

I will do it again.

Hello?

It's so good to hear from you, dear!
I'm so happy. I'm making some sketches!

I'm so glad, Evo.
But have you called him already?

Well, I... I'm...

Okay, calm down. Just breathe.

Now, with a sexy voice...

Not the one you use with Viviana,
but with the others. Sexy.

You're going to tell him
that drawing his crotch...

Is a total...

pleasure...

drawing Sandy's crotch
with my pencil...

dear Cookie.

Now, invite him to Colombia.

Invite him to Colombia, Evo.

I'm in charge...

of spreading the news
to the whole world right now, dear.

Now, like a flying saucer...

spin around and around.
No, do it slowly,

like a fancy flying saucer.

Well, and...

spin around. Spin around.

Oh, God, white is so fashionable!

No wonder God dresses
his angels in bright white.

And now your hand.

Your hand.

No, you moron. The other hand!

The journalists
must see us holding hands.

-Coraggio, Evaristo. Coraggio.
-What?

Nothing.

Bravo!

Imaginary rice!

Imaginary rice for this
beautiful couple! How lovely!

-How precious!
-Ciao, darling.

What's wrong with you?
Are you a queer?

No! I'll tell you later.
It's a matter of life and death!

Hello.

I love Colombia.

Sister. It's a pleasure.

Oh, this is Sandy, my boyfriend.

Jesus Christ!

My orphans.

They're so lovely.

So lovely.

These flowers are lovely!

Three, two, one!

A model!

This place is beautiful.
It reminds me of Xochimilco.

I want to take a family picture.

-Evo's boyfriend...
-He's here!

It's your turn, cutie! Come on!

Grazie.

Now, the girls in the back
are going to be your daughters.

-Hold their hands, please.
-Great idea!

Evo.

Now, walk towards me
like a normal family.

Like a family? Sure!

That's lovely!

Look natural!
More natural, please!

Look like a normal family.
Relaxed, happy. Good, like that!

The new family
springs out from the country.

-Dai, dai.
-Lovely, Philippo.

-Lovely.
-I need more intimacy, please.

Be more affectionate.
You look like strangers.

More affectionate!
Come on!

More! Cazzo di merda!
Vi stò chiedendo! Più intimità! Dai, dai.

Evo, what's going on?

We're not done.
Che cazzo succede?

No. Evaristo, listen to me!
Darling! Are you okay?

How can I be okay?
A man just kissed me!

-I'm in shock!
-Evo, I know. But it's not a big deal.

What do you mean?

My sexual identity
has just been shattered.

I just felt like something inside
me broke. I heard it click.

Oh, no! I'm going to get boobs,
and my penis is going to fall off.

Don't laugh, bitch!
Here, feel my heart!

See how fast it's beating!
It's like a drum!

-I'm going to die!
-Evaristo! Look at me!

Evaristo, you just saved our empire.

Don't be a homophobe!

-Celebrate diversity!
-I'm not a homophobe!

But I don't want diversity
to kiss me on the mouth!

Here he comes!

Calm down. Stay calm, please.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Are you okay, darling?
-Don't touch me! Stay away from me!

You kissed me on the mouth, bastard!

You're confusing me, man!

Who said you could kiss me? Who?

-He gets like this.
-Maybe I made a mistake.

-A huge mistake, moron!
-You called me "darling".

I call everybody "darling", darling!

And you introduced me
as your boyfriend.

And the photographer said
we were like a family.

I got excited.

-I want to have a family again.
-Okay, Cookie!

-Yes?
-Pay him!

And I don't want to see him ever again!

You overstepped the boundaries.

You treated me like an easy man,
and I won't allow that.

I'll give you an extra...

I do things from the heart.

I'm not a whore like you!

Evaristo, you're so mean!

Smile, Sister!

Ecco.

Tutti bellissimi.

ORDER OF THE SACRED HEART
FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS

-He's crazy!
-Yeah.

-What? Get out!
-What?

You're being punished
for being a traitor.

But I want to participate.

Just watch and learn.

Oh, Jorge de León.
I love coming to Acapulco to see you.

I love your hotel.
And your wife, too.

You can get me
the French damasks, can't you?

That's only seven designs.

I love them!

How do you expect
to show a whole collection

at the International Fashion Week
with only seven designs?

And why penguins?

I got sick of llamas!

Why penguins rather than pandas?
I just want to know...

Because women don't want
to be a panda, Jorge.

I see. You want to be penguins.

May I suck a finger?

Just tell me one thing.

Is your next collection
for men or for women?

It will be an androgynous collection.

Not for females nor males: androgynous.

Evo, you're a genius!
An androgynous collection!

The old unisex concept.

Something never seen before.
Evo, you're so original!

And the best part is
you only have seven designs.

Not twenty-five, only seven.

Why penguins, Evo?

Sometimes you're such a queer.

You already have your animals.

Now you need a diva.

Evaristo Jiménez,
tell me I'm going to be your diva.

Marie Antoinette and Penguins?
No way!

Mother Teresa and penguins?

Jesus, no! What am I saying?

Destiny machine, tell me.

Penguins and what diva?

It's moving by itself!
Supernatural forces!

"S"...

"I"...

The Ouija board pulled me!
And "N".

"SIND"?

"SIND"?

I"ll just take the "D" as in Lady D.

Of course! It's Cindy!

Cindy! The beauty icon of the eighties!

She originated a new kind of sensibility,
full of insecurities.

Especially between men and women.

Now macho men
have become more sensitive.

And now women are all-powerful.

Oh, my God, you look like Cindy!

-Who?
-Well, the mole's not in the right spot.

Shit!

I came to visit Cindy.
And he's really sick!

His disease, ergo rating zero.

Besides, this is private property.

Hey! Hey! Come here!

He did it again.

God, your house is so far from the road.

I had to walk almost a mile to get here.

Through the poison ivy...

I thought a snake would bite me,
but no. It's a nice place.

Okay, then...

Your check for the photo shoot
in Bogota.

What the hell do you want?

Everyone got paid, but you.

Besides, I... I owe you...

an apology.

I couldn't hear you.

An apology.

-I didn't hear you.
-I owe you an apology!

Thanks, Cindy.

Your place is really nice.

-Thanks. I inherited it from Andrés.
-Oh, your father?

My late husband, José Andrés!
He died.

I spent a whole night talking about him,
and you don't remember?

Really? It's hot in here!

What are these balls for?

They're spheres!

Oh, a clip!

-Oh, a mini-clip!
-They're from my last collection.

-It's called...
-"Spheres".

The previous one was with triangles.
And before that, with trapezoids.

You're an artist.

A cyber-artist.
Abstract, geometrical, architectural.

So, why are you serving coffee
in an office?

So I can survive.

Why don't you sell them?

That way, millions of people
can see them.

Some people work for love of the art
in order to connect with others.

Not to sell.

Touché!

I like your style.

Birds and beetles.

-What about the penguins?
-Well, penguins were...

Nothing. Just a starting point.

That means I inspire you
to think in birds and beetles?

No. You inspire me, period.

-And...
-And?

Well...

I would like...

for us to see more of each other.

-So I can inspire you?
-Exactly.

Cheers.

And serve you coffee.

No.

Actually, I want you to create
an artistic installation

for my collection
for the International Fashion Week.

Are you serious?

-You know what? I don't believe you.
-Why?

Because you're not trustworthy.

-Because there must be a catch.
-But I already apologized.

Do you want me to get down
on my knees and beg you?

-You of little faith...
-Yes!

-I want you to beg!
-Oh, come on!

Get on your knees!

-What?
-Get on your knees!

Okay.

Come on!

-Son of a...
-What?

Nothing! It's nothing!

I asked my Ouija board.

And it confirmed that you
are the diva for my next collection.

-What?
-Nothing. Let's have a seat.

Not on my neck! No... No...

Don't touch me there!

What's wrong with you, faggot?

Queer! Pansy!

You faggot!

Oh, God! Please, forgive me!
The thing is...

I'm bipolar!

Listen!

Why are you leaving?

Why are you leaving?

You come to my house,

burst into my life,
and give me an erection!

Do you know how long it's been
since I've had an erection?

I don't know!
I'm not your gynecologist!

You know what?
You can't do this to me every week!

Turn me on and send me to hell!
Understand?

You're insane!

What do you mean "every week"? This is
the second or third time I've seen you!

-Here's your check.
-Get out of my house!

-Don't leave it there!
-Get out of my house!

-It's going to blow away.
-Get out of my house, whore!

-Come on, Cindy!
-Don't call me Cindy!

My name is not Cindy!

Listen to me, morons!

If I say this is a private meeting,
that means you can't film it!

-Yes, sir.
-"Yes, sir", my ass!

According to the contract,
I own all the images

-of my private life, is that clear?
-I don't know about that.

What do you mean you don't know?
What do you mean you don't know?

The images you just filmed
can't go public, understand?

I can't believe it!

He just ripped a 10,000-dollar check.

And he might kill himself
just to piss me off!

What are you doing?

Guys!

Royal treatment!

-Hello, superstar.
-How are you?

Excuse me, but...

your smile is dazzling.

Now ask everything you want from me.

Everything.

Evaristo, I need a makeover.

From heels...

-to neck.
-Okay.

Something I can...

lay on.

I can't believe it!
It's Ana de la Reguera!

I love her!

Put this on.

All women look better
wearing Evaristo Jiménez.

-Aren't you gay?
-It depends.

-On what?
-On how big the temptation is.

Take my clothes off.

What?

-What?
-Nothing.

Nothing, I was thinking of a friend...

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

-Go on.
-This is going to relax you.

What?

-What's going on?
-Do you really want to know?

Do you really want to know?

This bra is a Valentino!

How dare you visit a fashion designer
wearing another designer's bra?

Please! Don't get jealous
over a bra from last season.

I know he sent you here
to destroy me!

Who are you talking about?

-He's taping this, isn't he?
-Who?

Vladimir Orozco!

There's a camera in this ring!
The queer with the red fan!

Open the door!

You forgot your Valentino, lady!

You can't kick her out! Do you know
how much she spends in rags?

I'm not going to let you destroy
a ten-year career! Evaristo! Evaristo!

Am I really hallucinating?

-Don't let that woman go!
-I'll stop her! I'll do it!

Mr. Evaristo wants you
to wait for him.

Can I take a selfie?

Sure.

-I loved Ladies' Night.
-Thanks.

-Are you okay?
-I don't know, Sam.

I don't understand
what's wrong with Evo.

It's as if all these years of stress

burned him out.
And from all his genius, hysteria...

-is all that remains.
-Oh, girl!

-He's suffering a creative crisis.
-I know.

-Besides, he was with the star...
-No, Sam!

I think what's going on with Evo
is what that philosopher said,

I can't remember his name,

"He was good while it lasted."

Please.

Enough, Evo. I get it, you're gay.
What else?

Let me explain. It's...

-I don't know!
-It's okay. I understand and respect it.

-I want to explain...
-You don't have to!

I'm the one who has to confess.
I'm not okay, I'm sick!

I love older men,
thirty years my senior!

I fall in love with the wrong men!
Now, a gay guy!

I need therapy! I'm sick, sick, sick!

Ana! Let's discuss this
in private, okay?

Goodbye forever, Evaristo Jiménez.

It must be terrible to hear
Ana de la Reguera say goodbye to you.

Mom? Mom?
Mom, listen to me!

Mom, I swear it was not my fault!
It was that bra!

It's not calcium deficiency.
There's no bones there, mom.

Mom, please.
Tell me something, okay?

Help me!

I'm going to give you an advice
as a psychoanalyst

so you can recover your sex drive.

Fine. But not seven years
of Freudian therapy, mom.

Jesus, it's the fucking psycho
and his TV crew!

Can I come in? I'm already here.

I've had some serious problems
since our last fight.

-I don't care!
-I appreciate your concern!

It's a serious problem of...

of calcium deficiency...

and depression.

I'm not getting back together, Evo.
Forget it!

Okay, we've never been together!
But that's fine!

If we've never been together,
why is this guy breaking up with me?

Okay! Okay!

-Okay what?
-Okay!

I'm going to tell you the truth.

-My therapist told me to see you.
-Come on, give me a break!

You come here with your cameras
and say your therapist sent you?

The doctor told me
if I want to recover...

-my power...
-Your power?

Yes, my creative power.
She said...

If I want to recover my creative power,
I must settle things with you.

Because I owe you
the ideas for my new collection.

Although my conscious mind
doesn't give a damn...

Well, my subconscious
is pretty honest, you know?

And I would be blocked until I... I...

-Until...
-Until what?

Well, until you and I...

break up...

amicably.

It's unacceptable that you beat me.

You're right. I'm sorry.

That you turn me on and off
as if I were a radio!

That's cruel.

Yes, it's very cruel.
You're right, Cindy. I'm sorry.

What do you want, moron?

Why did you come last time?
And now? I don't get it.

You're like a fucking plague!

Wait, we're not breaking up amicably.

Let me help you.

Don't you get it? I don't want to see
your tormented daddy chaser face again?

Okay. First, he called me a whore.

Now he calls me a tormented
daddy chaser? What's next?

-Look, Cindy!
-My name is Sandro, asshole!

Okay, as you wish.

I'm a tortured daddy chaser
and an asshole.

Listen.

Here's your money.

Your check.
I added 10,000 dollars.

So, I am worth more
every time we say goodbye?

I'm not going to see you
ever again, idiot!

I mean, Cindy! No, Sandy!
I mean Sandro! Yes, Sandro!

So, please take this check,
and let's call it quits, all right?

There is just one whore here,
and he's it!

Not me. Now, leave, please!

I like your hair today.

Evo, you're so fucking crazy.

We just broke up,
and now you're flirting with me.

-I'm not flirting with you.
-Okay.

The thing is...
I don't even understand, but...

every time I see you
I feel this incredible desire...

-I want to make...
-What?

clothes.

I said it!

That's the awful truth, Cindy...
I mean, Sandro! Sandro!

Evaristo Jiménez,
close the door behind you.

And if you really want to make me happy,
crash into a truck!

Mommy? You're right, as usual.

I broke up with Cindy amicably.

I feel totally free and happy.

Yes, mom. Bye!

Hello, sexies.

Are you playing hide and seek
in the woods?

-What do you want?
-To kidnap you.

Cindy!

-Bye, Cindy!
-It's Sandy! I mean, Sandro.

Cindy! Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!

Call the cops!

That's what I'm going to do!
I'm calling the cops!

Move, faggot!

You said you had been
in Morelia with the cartels.

God, it hurts!

I have some meds to make you
feel better and help you sleep.

Here. Open your mouth.

Hot cakes.

-Did you film the fight?
-We filmed everything.

Hello.

Hello.

Use this one.

Listen.

You and I make a great team.

Where did you get that machine gun?

It's a submachine gun.
It was Andrés'.

José Andrés? Your husband?

See? I remembered his name.

It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?

Mr. Evaristo,
before you say yes or no,

you want us to leave, right?
What? I mean, please.

Bon appétit.

Hey. When I spoke about last night,
I meant what happened after the fight.

It was beautiful, thanks.

-What happened? It still hurts, right?
-No. Listen.

According to you,
what happened after the fight?

After sleeping for three years,
my body woke up under your hands.

What?

What's going on?

Don't do that again!

-Don't do that to me again!
-Don't follow me! Don't follow me!

Don't do that again!

Don't do that again, motherfucker!

Are you going to break up
so you can pay me, asshole?

Lower your voice! Come on!

Come on! Come here!

-I have to tell you the truth.
-About what?

-I lied to you.
-What do you mean?

I lied to you.

I am not gay.

-What?
-Shut up!

I'm not gay. I don't have the gay gene.
It's nothing personal.

I've been using you all this time
and I owe you a sincere...

apology.

I must go now.

You're a real son of a bitch,
you know that?

-What?
-Last night we made love three times!

-What?
-Three times!

Shut the fuck up!
You know what? That's impossible!

Three times, asshole! Three times
is possible when there is love.

Okay, listen to me. Listen to me!

Okay, last night
we made love three times.

-Right?
-Yes.

-But in your dreams.
-No!

I wouldn't even know
what to stick in where!

Forgive me! Please, forgive me!

I don't have the gay gene!

Gay genes don't exist!
It's a sexual preference!

-Besides, it's a temporary preference!
-Yeah, sure!

I mean, saying someone is gay
or straight is an exaggeration.

For example...

today I'm gay.
Yesterday I was straight.

Today I like bananas.
Tomorrow I love papayas.

Today I like to dress in black,
tomorrow in white. Try to understand!

Wait!

They should give you a Nobel Prize
for your theory, cupcake!

Last night, you were as gay as it gets!

No! I was not!

If you stop crying,
I'll tell you something.

Come here.

Last night I dreamed...

that someone was giving me
a blow job.

But it was Bárbara Mori, the actress.

-You know her, right?
-You're a jerk!

Thank you for saving my life.

I'll be grateful
for the rest of my life.

But stop crying, please.

You cry like a girl.

You're crying a river of tears.

You're right.

There's no winner here.

We're both losers.

Cindy.

Cindy! Cindy!

Cindy, come back!

Come back! This is your house!

Cindy, don't hurt yourself!

Sandro!

Hi.

-Hi, sexy beast!
-My boss wants to talk you.

And you must do everything
your boss tells you.

Get off the car, moron!

Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it.
Hold your horses!

Oh, my God!

-Let's go!
-You're so rough!

My coat! Thank you, sexy.

What's up, Karen?

-Vivi, what a nice surprise!
-Push "play".

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Thanks for sharing this.

The guys filming the documentary
gave it to him.

He bought the whole documentary.

Really?

Karen, what can I say?

-I'm really sorry.
-You're going to regret it.

What? I'm the only one
who's going to pay?

Forgive us, but...

there are some things that happen
between a man and a woman

that can't be forgotten
just because of a lousy video, right?

No. No, my love.

We're just getting a divorce.

Or do you want me to kill you?
You can choose.

Sign the last page.

What about me?

I...

have a surprise for you.

Have you heard about "The Gulch"?

The gulch in Acapulco?

Karen, may I ask you something?

Shut up and jump!

Why do they call you "Karen Girl"?

-It's none of your business! Jump.
-I ask because I'm a famous gay man.

-But people... People are evil-minded.
-Jump!

-When they see the videos, they'll ask.
-What videos?

The videos of me getting in your limo.

-What?
-When they see my dead body...

they'll wonder, "why do people
call him 'Karen'...

instead of, say, 'the Cannibal'"?
People will just figure

-it was a crime of passion...
-Shut up!

-between Lady Evarista and... and...
-Shut up!

-and...
-No.

Karen!

Son of a bitch.

I thought I'd never see you again.

Yeah, sure!

Look at the bright side.
Now I'm free, and we can get married!

Vivi, you got divorced
half an hour ago.

Why do you hate me so much?

I don't hate you.

Actually, I respect you.
But I respect the truth even more.

That's why you're making
a documentary about my life

and selling it to a drug dealer?

-It was just a copy!
-Did you sell it to him?

And you'd rather film his death
than stop it?

I make documentaries, ma'am.
I'm not a cop, nor a hero.

No, you're corrupt!

Sure.

What are you?

Forgive me for meddling in your privacy.

But what the hell are you?

Are you a boy or a girl?

It's none of your business.

-It's a girl!
-Shut up!

Whoa! Let me get this straight.
Evo's private life is your business,

but yours is a secret?

That's right.

Because I don't make a profit
with my sexual identity.

Evaristo Jiménez created an emporium
based on his sexual preference.

I'll buy it.

I'll edit it and remove the parts
that make me look bad.

It's a good deal.

Come on, don't act
like you didn't hear me.

Pay me two, and it's yours.

-Deal. I'll give you two thousand dollars.
-No.

I mean two million...

dollars.

You're very ambitious, man!
Or should I say "girl"?

-Two million pesos.
-Deal!

Shut up, Juanjo!

Deal. Two million pesos.

Are you crazy?
I'll give you 200 thousand pesos.

I don't even know why I'm doing this!
I'm the star of your damn documentary!

Excuse me!

Sure. We all do what we can.

No, excuse me.
Are you the guy on the cover?

It's Evaristo Jiménez.

EVARISTO ISN'T GAY!

How many people did
you sell our intimacy to, bitch?

Liar!

It took me 10 years to accept
that my brother is gay.

Now you confuse me even more!

You're a disgrace
to all gay and straight people!

Get out!

Get out!

Get out!

We put our faith and hearts
in Evaristo Jiménez's hands.

We made him
the archetype of the fight

of the lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender, and queer community.

And what did he do?

He lied! He used us!

This impostor, psychopath,
and closet heterosexual

exploited our oppression
for his own benefit!

This betrayal mustn't go unpunished!

Evo, where are you?

The LGBTTT community
attacked the store in Masaryk.

They burned down the store
in Guadalajara!

Evo, our empire
is falling down, and you...

Where are you?

I couldn't reach.

-Look at that!
-You wanted the cap, look.

It's amazing, mom!

Look at you!

This scene explains your whole life.

You got stuck in the anal stage
because of too much pleasure.

You spent hours in your potty,
dressing and undressing dolls.

Just like you do now.

Look.

Mom...

I'm not gay.

Sweetie, I already knew that.

But I'm not an impostor, mom.

You know how everything happened.

I wanted to give my heart
to fabric, beads, flounces...

Since I was a little boy,
people said I was gay and...

You took advantage
of the privileges of looking gay.

And fluttered around.

Well, yes.

I didn't have to act
like a foot soldier.

"Yes, sir! No, sir!"
Or dress in grey, blue

or beige!

Well, I also discovered that...

I could take advantage of women...

by being their "girlfriend".

And have them all, secretly.

Everything was going well, until...

Until you fell in love with Sidney.

Why do you insist on that?
No way!

I was okay until that terrorist,
the bald lady with the red fan,

told me I had to be the same
inside and out, mom!

Can you imagine, mom?
Being completely honest,

24 hours a day,
from now to eternity.

Mom...

Can I stay here and live with you?

-Is Evaristo with you?
-Of course not!

You look gorgeous today.

You, too. Come in.

You and I have a lot to talk about.

Okay.

So, what is this house?

Cookie, darling, It's me.

The widower, the sad guy,
the worst man ever!

Evo? Hi! What a miracle!

Long time no see! I hadn't heard
from you in almost a month.

-We thought you were dead.
-I know.

I'm calling to ask you to forgive me.

I'm sorry!
I'm sorry for ruining our empire!

Where are you? It's very noisy.

At the opening of the International
Fashion Week.

But you know what? Let me find
a quiet spot and we'll talk, okay?

Wait, honey.
There's people everywhere.

So, you were saying you're sorry.

I already did that!
Now I need a favor.

When people sit down
for our runway show,

I want you to take the microphone
and say this:

"Evaristo Jiménez...

was led to suicide...

by an intolerant society...

and there won't be...

a runway show...

nor a collection this season."

Alba? Alba?

Alba, are you there?

I'll have one of these
and this one.

And a cocktail with Kahlúa.
But hurry.

Evo, darling,

you don't have to worry
about a thing, darling.

We'll do the runway show
the best way we can, without you.

Runway show? Without me?

Evaristo Jiménez.

The phony.

That's right, my dear Carmen.

We are a few minutes away...

from the Evaristo Jiménez runway show
for his new collection.

The atmosphere is very tense.

People don't want to forgive his deceit.

The LGBTTT-ETC...

showed up armed...

with cans of spray paint,
which, some fear...

might be Molotov cocktails.

Down with macho men!
Girls for the fight!

Evo! Evo!

Evo! Evo!

Asshole!

God, Vladimir!
I'd never seen this before!

It's a lovely Mexican tradition.

This is so exciting, Gina!

Witnessing Evaristo Jiménez's
utter collapse.

Rigoberta, that bun must be tight!
I need to see her face!

Okay, that's right, Martina,
but apply more shadow.

This is a circus!

Sam, give me a break!
I hope our models don't get stoned.

Who is this asshole?

-Mr. Evaristo!
-Evaristo is here?

Jesus Christ! Evaristo,
what are you doing here?

Are you happy to see me?

Shut up! I don't want more exposure.

I'm trying to save your ass.
What more do you want?

Look at him!

He's replacing me!
He's taking my place!

Listen to me, dear! Shut up!

Faggot!

I asked for his help.

The whole collection
is based on his look...

-What?
-Let me go! My feathers!

No! No!

Look! The blood sucking animals.

I also had the pleasure
of participating in this show.

Evaristo.

She's not as bad as she seems.

Karl Lagerfeld is here!

Oh, my God! We're about to start!
I'm so stressed!

Karl Lagerfeld?

I don't understand why
we have to see this hideous video.

Vladimir, it's part of the show!
Look, it's beautiful!

And the penguins?

Okay, you're fine. Next.

Are you enjoying this?
Are you enjoying taking my place?

Go.

This collection is mine.
I created it myself.

Are you trying to insult me again?

If so, I'll cancel the show right now.

-Is it my turn?
-You look gorgeous!

What? Are you two together?

Are you going to get married
and have a house with a dog?

Yeah. And we didn't miss you.

Viviana, you finish the show.
Walk straight, darling!

Bitch!

What's going on?

He's gay!

That...

is not...

me.

That's a set up! It's a lie!

He's right! That's a set up!

It's not, you amnesiac!
They filmed it!

Don't applaud a phony!

Vladimir, calm down!

I'm saving your neck,
but you don't have to thank me.

Don't worry,
I'm super open-minded.

But I'm... That's not...

It can't be me...

Hot cakes.

Hi.

I meant what happened after the fight.

-Did you film the fight?
-We filmed everything.

Alex, wake up!

Viviana! Come here!

-What's going on?
-Come on!

Show some dignity.
A triumphal collection!

You must go out there, Evaristo.

You can do it, Mr. Evaristo.

I understand you.

It's hideous! Take it off!

-Bravo!
-Conchita!

Bravo!

You won't feel the rain,
because you'll be each other's shelter.

You won't feel cold,
because you'll give each other warmth.

Now you are one,

with just one life ahead of you.

I now pronounce you husband...

husband...

and wife.