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1
00:00:08,424 --> 00:00:10,342
Hey, Rick...
2
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:13,887
Need me for any adventures?
3
00:00:14,054 --> 00:00:15,097
Adventures?
4
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:17,641
- Remember those?
- Oh, yeah, not right now, Morty
5
00:00:17,724 --> 00:00:19,601
but definitely next week though.
6
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:21,519
You been saying that
a while now, buddy
7
00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:23,980
so, I think I'm gonna give you
a little nudge
8
00:00:24,063 --> 00:00:26,857
by cashing in
a few of these bad boys.
9
00:00:27,566 --> 00:00:29,151
We're still doing
the punch card system?
10
00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:30,611
Never stopped. Bam!
11
00:00:30,694 --> 00:00:32,237
Read 'em and weep.
12
00:00:32,321 --> 00:00:33,530
Fully punched cards
13
00:00:33,613 --> 00:00:35,991
each entitling me
to an adventure of my choosing.
14
00:00:36,074 --> 00:00:38,618
- I don't make the rules...
- Yeah, I do, you little gremlin
15
00:00:38,701 --> 00:00:40,411
and I definitely
did not stamp all these.
16
00:00:40,495 --> 00:00:42,580
You never remember to stamp
the cards, you're always drunk.
17
00:00:42,663 --> 00:00:44,373
I didn't know
we were still doing this!
18
00:00:44,457 --> 00:00:46,834
This stinks to high heaven, Morty,
I'm not accepting these.
19
00:00:46,917 --> 00:00:48,210
I knew you were gonna do this.
20
00:00:48,293 --> 00:00:51,213
So I got receipts, bitch.
I... I kept notes.
21
00:00:51,463 --> 00:00:54,215
This is gibberish.
"Isle of the Mortysaurs"?
22
00:00:54,299 --> 00:00:55,508
"Takes One to Know One"?
23
00:00:55,592 --> 00:00:57,135
I make up titles for each adventure.
24
00:00:57,218 --> 00:00:59,846
You did the same thing for that MS
readathon at your school, Morty
25
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:00,972
and you didn't read shit.
26
00:01:01,055 --> 00:01:03,057
It's okay to lie when
you're fighting multiple sclerosis!
27
00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:04,975
Or when you think
you won't get caught!
28
00:01:05,225 --> 00:01:06,476
How are you gonna catch me?
29
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,646
Oh, you done and did it now,
little man. That's your ass.
30
00:01:09,729 --> 00:01:12,941
Don't grift a grifter, Morty.
I got friends in cosmic places.
31
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,234
Yeah. I need an audit.
32
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,820
Oh, right, you were already watching.
33
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,072
- I'll come get you.
- What is this?
34
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,450
I am The Observer!
35
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,661
You're so busted.
Look at your face, you're so fucked.
36
00:01:25,744 --> 00:01:27,913
I observe all!
37
00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:29,539
They observe all, Morty.
38
00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:31,249
Cosmic all-seeing species.
39
00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:32,875
- So?
- So they're basically
40
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,252
universal police body-cams
41
00:01:34,335 --> 00:01:36,295
but you can't turn them off
before you beat a minority.
42
00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:38,714
Or in your case, before you cook
the adventure books!
43
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:40,716
- I don't do that!
- We gonna find out!
44
00:01:40,799 --> 00:01:43,927
Oh, I'm here for this!
45
00:02:16,456 --> 00:02:18,750
I bet a solid 70%
of these are bullshit.
46
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,460
Oh, quit your bitchin'
and do the audit.
47
00:02:20,543 --> 00:02:21,586
I... I got nothing to hide!
48
00:02:21,669 --> 00:02:22,712
Alright, Observer
49
00:02:22,796 --> 00:02:23,880
gimme "Truth or Dare".
50
00:02:23,963 --> 00:02:25,131
Christ, these names, Morty.
51
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:26,257
It's shorthand!
52
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:27,633
I have observed it!
53
00:02:27,717 --> 00:02:29,385
Now gaze upon me
54
00:02:29,468 --> 00:02:32,096
and so shall you...
55
00:02:34,556 --> 00:02:35,599
Two attack patterns
56
00:02:35,682 --> 00:02:37,058
and a giant glowing weak spot...
57
00:02:37,142 --> 00:02:38,184
Legend of Zelda
58
00:02:38,268 --> 00:02:39,394
tutorial-ass bullshit.
59
00:02:39,477 --> 00:02:40,645
I thought it was kind of fun.
60
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,189
Halt, unidentified adventurers.
61
00:02:43,272 --> 00:02:46,025
We are the guardians
of this sanctuary.
62
00:02:46,108 --> 00:02:50,195
One of us tells only truths,
the other, only lies.
63
00:02:50,279 --> 00:02:51,613
You ever fucked this guy's wife?
64
00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:52,739
Yes.
65
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:55,116
Well, how about that?
He guessed right.
66
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,243
I forgive you!
67
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,412
- Oh, shit!
- Alright, next room.
68
00:02:59,495 --> 00:03:00,830
No, I wanna watch.
69
00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:03,833
Did you see how one of them lied?
70
00:03:03,916 --> 00:03:05,209
Fine, I'll call that one legit.
71
00:03:05,292 --> 00:03:06,335
I'm not here to nitpick
72
00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:07,711
I'm here to find blatant fraud.
73
00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:10,339
Okay, show me "Late Night Western".
74
00:03:11,465 --> 00:03:12,799
Morty...
75
00:03:13,341 --> 00:03:15,009
take me... drive me take me...
76
00:03:15,343 --> 00:03:16,970
wanna go western bacon.
77
00:03:17,053 --> 00:03:18,930
Morty, western bacon now!
78
00:03:24,101 --> 00:03:25,144
Oh, yeah.
79
00:03:25,227 --> 00:03:27,396
- Before you say anything...
- I knew it! Busted!
80
00:03:27,479 --> 00:03:29,105
You're banned from that Carls Jr.!
81
00:03:29,189 --> 00:03:31,649
That doesn't make the drive-thru
an adventure, Morty. Invalid.
82
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,652
Sounds like it's anyone's game!
83
00:03:35,028 --> 00:03:37,196
Well, no, it... it's not a bet
84
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,572
- it's an audit.
- Observer
85
00:03:38,656 --> 00:03:40,866
show us "Maximum Overdrive
with Clothes"!
86
00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:45,829
At least this is better
than cars.
87
00:03:45,912 --> 00:03:47,247
Cars can run you over.
88
00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:52,335
Okay, no, this is worse.
89
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,587
Boom. Adventure, suck it.
90
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:55,921
Alright, fine.
91
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:58,173
How 'bout "Whistlering Dixie".
92
00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:05,472
Whistler! What do you got
to tag and bag these bastards?
93
00:04:05,555 --> 00:04:06,765
Made this 'lil puppy
94
00:04:06,848 --> 00:04:09,434
after I bagged my
first neck-rophiliac.
95
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,143
Double action
triggers pumping out
96
00:04:11,227 --> 00:04:14,188
1,400 kilos of
holy water per square inch.
97
00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:17,191
This ol' girl's got dry-aged
Sicilian garlic
98
00:04:17,274 --> 00:04:20,360
expelling out at 3,200 feet
per second
99
00:04:20,444 --> 00:04:23,488
is swaddled
by 5,200 solar-joules
100
00:04:23,571 --> 00:04:24,781
of raw ultraviolet.
101
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:26,824
- Yeah.
- And she's only getting started.
102
00:04:26,908 --> 00:04:29,160
I'm talkin' crucifix-shaped
Chinese stars
103
00:04:29,243 --> 00:04:31,328
mirror-tipped wooden stakes,
and a...
104
00:04:31,412 --> 00:04:33,706
What... hello? Guys?
105
00:04:35,165 --> 00:04:37,292
Morty, that was just
an old man rambling at us.
106
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:38,418
People died!
107
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:40,837
So, by your logic,
9/11 was an adventure?
108
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,046
Tweet it, see who agrees.
109
00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:44,882
- Very well! Bear witness to 9/11!
- What?
110
00:04:44,966 --> 00:04:46,425
- No!
- Dude, don't, just...
111
00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:48,761
You need to let us throw
to the stuff, okay?
112
00:04:48,928 --> 00:04:51,221
What's next?
What the hell is "Leg Day"?
113
00:04:52,848 --> 00:04:55,308
Hey, look, Morty! I... I'm a leg!
114
00:04:56,143 --> 00:04:58,812
A leg, Morty! I'm Leg Rick!
115
00:04:59,104 --> 00:05:01,147
- Okay, I'll give you that last one.
- What?
116
00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:02,774
I... I mean...
I mean, I'll take it but...
117
00:05:02,857 --> 00:05:04,233
Hey, Morty, check this out.
118
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,568
That's clearly unlicensed.
119
00:05:05,651 --> 00:05:07,987
- License this!
- Wait, what are you doing?
120
00:05:08,487 --> 00:05:09,947
Hey, Smith, you look hungry!
121
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,615
How 'bout some knuckle pie?
122
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,533
What the huh?
123
00:05:13,825 --> 00:05:15,702
Aw, jeez. Rick's implants.
124
00:05:15,785 --> 00:05:18,162
Big Doug... get the truck.
125
00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:20,998
I've never felt so alive!
126
00:05:27,296 --> 00:05:28,589
Man.
127
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,498
Turn! Back! Into! A boat!
128
00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:07,832
I'm trying!
129
00:06:10,627 --> 00:06:12,587
- I'm trying...
- Oh, Big Doug.
130
00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:16,173
Big Doug, no.
131
00:06:17,216 --> 00:06:18,384
There's my guy!
132
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:19,968
C'mon, the hamsters
turned on me, Morty.
133
00:06:20,052 --> 00:06:21,386
We gotta go.
134
00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:23,388
RIP, Big Doug!
135
00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:24,514
Wasn't even in that one!
136
00:06:24,598 --> 00:06:26,599
Who cares? It wasn't even on my list.
137
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:27,809
This guy just cued it up!
138
00:06:27,892 --> 00:06:29,227
Speaking of cues
139
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:32,438
what about all those times
you two misunderstood each other?
140
00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:34,607
Wait, what? Are you setting up
a series of them?
141
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:39,069
Trust me, the key is grouping them
with thematic connections.
142
00:06:40,862 --> 00:06:43,073
I... I just want to talk
to Morty in private
143
00:06:43,156 --> 00:06:46,367
- about something unrelated.
- Yeah, we'll be right back.
144
00:06:47,076 --> 00:06:49,954
Okay, this guy might have been
kind of a mistake.
145
00:06:50,037 --> 00:06:52,331
- He's really, like, aggressive.
- He's steamrolling us.
146
00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,249
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
147
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,251
- And I don't like his voice.
- I don't like his voice.
148
00:06:56,335 --> 00:06:57,586
I... I don't like that
he's doing jokes.
149
00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:59,045
I don't like that
he's talking down to you.
150
00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:00,171
Thank you!
151
00:07:00,255 --> 00:07:01,673
Okay. Let's rethink this.
152
00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:03,549
I still don't trust these,
but I'll accept these cards
153
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:06,093
- at 70 cents on the dollar.
- Done. Fair.
154
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,595
How do we get rid of him?
155
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,722
I'll just pay the asshole
and tell him he did a great job.
156
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,723
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
157
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,684
- And I don't like his voice.
- I don't like his voice.
158
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,851
I... I don't like
that he's doing jokes.
159
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,228
Okay, well, that's... that's on us.
160
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,772
- Should have seen that coming.
- Seeing is more my thing.
161
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,315
Well, then you know
he's about to pay you.
162
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,901
And tell me I did a great job?
163
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,654
Fine, you caught us,
we secretly think you suck.
164
00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:28,238
Here's twice what I owe you.
165
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:30,907
That's how little conversation
we want to have about you leaving.
166
00:07:30,991 --> 00:07:33,660
I have never seen
two bigger assholes!
167
00:07:33,743 --> 00:07:37,163
- And I see all assholes!
- Then you can see yours out.
168
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,664
Bye!
169
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,126
Christ.
170
00:07:51,509 --> 00:07:53,344
Shit, hot! So hot!
171
00:07:53,428 --> 00:07:55,847
Gotta start in the middle,
statistically the coolest.
172
00:07:56,389 --> 00:07:58,224
You won't find a carb
on my plate, Morty.
173
00:07:58,307 --> 00:08:00,142
- I'm all about that keto.
- No.
174
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:02,061
- Is that... is that a fucking...
- Clip?
175
00:08:02,144 --> 00:08:04,563
I'm a fats man. Gimme all the fats!
176
00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:07,065
That burrito looks pretty carby!
177
00:08:07,149 --> 00:08:08,191
This fucking guy.
178
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:10,068
That's your move? Diet shaming?
179
00:08:10,151 --> 00:08:12,403
Just take the L, man!
This is embarrassing.
180
00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:15,323
Oh, I'll show you embarrassing!
181
00:08:17,116 --> 00:08:19,743
Do it, Morty! It... it's the only way
to save the universe!
182
00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:22,037
How? How is it the only way?
183
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:26,291
Morty... I'm dying.
It's up to you...
184
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,003
Rick!
185
00:08:31,087 --> 00:08:32,296
What the hell are you doing?
186
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:36,342
Saving the universe!
I think? Right, Rick?
187
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:45,058
- This guy's nuts!
- Hah! Screw you, Morty.
188
00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,560
What the hell?
You told me I was a hero!
189
00:08:47,644 --> 00:08:48,728
You were that night.
190
00:08:48,811 --> 00:08:49,854
What the hell's going on?
191
00:08:49,937 --> 00:08:52,815
Is that angry stone playing...
videoclips?
192
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:55,609
It's some weirdo Grandpa hired
to prove I'm a bad person.
193
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:58,737
Turns out people that take that job
aren't fun to be around.
194
00:08:58,820 --> 00:08:59,863
Get out of here!
195
00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:01,781
Sidewalk's public property, bro!
196
00:09:01,865 --> 00:09:04,242
I can observe all I want from here!
197
00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:07,578
This isn't our problem, Dad,
please make this loud thing go away.
198
00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:09,330
Yeah, I was studying for a test.
199
00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:10,706
No, you weren't!
200
00:09:10,956 --> 00:09:12,333
Fucking rock asshole.
201
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:13,459
Now you've done it!
202
00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:18,421
As they've shamed me,
so shall I now shame you!
203
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:24,051
Mom? Are you drinking wine in there?
204
00:09:24,427 --> 00:09:26,303
No, I'm shitting.
205
00:09:26,387 --> 00:09:28,806
Bitch, I know the sound
of a toilet lid moving.
206
00:09:29,556 --> 00:09:30,808
Two birds, one stone.
207
00:09:30,891 --> 00:09:32,643
More embarrassing for Mom than me.
208
00:09:32,726 --> 00:09:34,811
I wasn't lying, I was going to shit.
209
00:09:34,895 --> 00:09:35,937
What's going on here?
210
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,565
Cosmic being playing
embarrassing clips out of spite?
211
00:09:38,648 --> 00:09:39,857
Damn, Jerry. Nailed it.
212
00:09:39,941 --> 00:09:41,859
I was watching
from the upstairs window.
213
00:09:41,943 --> 00:09:43,986
Well, watch this, loser!
214
00:09:44,236 --> 00:09:47,364
Morty, I'm throwing out some stuff
from our last couple of adventures.
215
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:48,699
You got any use for this diamond?
216
00:09:48,782 --> 00:09:50,242
Nope. I'm good.
217
00:09:58,166 --> 00:09:59,458
This is gonna be fine.
218
00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:06,006
I'm sorry! I can't stop once I start!
219
00:10:07,382 --> 00:10:10,302
Whatever, everyone knows
I'm embarrassing, I'm bulletproof.
220
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:12,178
Oh, my god, this is so sad.
221
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:15,848
Not as sad as you after this!
222
00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:17,808
The so called Hottie Snatchers
223
00:10:17,892 --> 00:10:19,351
have spread to Canada and Mexico
224
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,020
grabbing the most
attractive residents
225
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,563
and taking them god knows where.
226
00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:24,648
All Americans, even sub-sevens
227
00:10:24,731 --> 00:10:26,274
are advised to stay indoors.
228
00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:27,400
You certainly
229
00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:28,526
wouldn't be safe out there.
230
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:29,986
Not on the air, Michael.
231
00:10:30,445 --> 00:10:31,821
BRB, bathroom.
232
00:10:32,488 --> 00:10:34,115
I need to know!
233
00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:42,414
It's okay! It's not real,
they're just doing it at random!
234
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,001
Is everything okay? I heard a...
235
00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:50,671
You too, huh?
236
00:10:50,755 --> 00:10:52,882
It's not so bad
once you get used to it.
237
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:56,593
I don't deserve this.
I just walked downstairs.
238
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,512
Okay, well,
if Dad's just gonna stand here
239
00:10:58,595 --> 00:10:59,888
should I do something?
240
00:10:59,972 --> 00:11:02,432
- Unless that somehow tees me up...
- Walked right into it!
241
00:11:02,599 --> 00:11:05,852
This is our target,
Dichotomus Daniel.
242
00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:09,647
That was my chair.
243
00:11:10,022 --> 00:11:11,148
It was a fart.
244
00:11:11,232 --> 00:11:12,483
Birdperson always knows.
245
00:11:12,566 --> 00:11:14,568
It's true! He's got that beak!
246
00:11:14,651 --> 00:11:15,944
Get lost, you piece of shit!
247
00:11:16,028 --> 00:11:18,822
Why? So you can do stuff like this?
248
00:11:26,412 --> 00:11:28,414
Morty, I'm afraid the only way out
249
00:11:28,497 --> 00:11:31,583
is through the bottom of
this massive vat of whale semen.
250
00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,877
Well, that last one
was just for shock value.
251
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,212
Fuck this guy!
252
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:38,965
If you can't take the heat,
get out of the watchin'!
253
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:40,258
You... suck!
254
00:11:40,341 --> 00:11:42,719
Showing weird shit
just 'cause we wouldn't let you
255
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,011
treat our lives like a clip show!
256
00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,471
- Yeah, get him, Morty!
- Mess him up, little bro!
257
00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:48,390
What, you gonna beat me up
like the piss guy?
258
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:49,975
Hey! Not cool!
259
00:11:50,058 --> 00:11:52,519
Why don't you tee up this clip
of me kicking your ass!
260
00:11:55,438 --> 00:11:58,149
I'm all rocks now.
261
00:11:58,358 --> 00:12:02,403
I never saw this coming.
262
00:12:03,738 --> 00:12:04,989
Shit!
263
00:12:05,281 --> 00:12:06,448
These guys can die?
264
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:07,991
I... I thought they were cosmic!
265
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,868
You know what, I say we leave
this thing in the street
266
00:12:09,951 --> 00:12:12,037
deny any involvement,
and just hope this blows over.
267
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,039
Unless, of course,
they play this exact clip
268
00:12:14,122 --> 00:12:16,833
on a screen in front of a jury
with some kind of built-in bias.
269
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:20,252
As an observer,
I try to stay impartial
270
00:12:20,336 --> 00:12:22,755
but I am not seeing innocence.
271
00:12:22,838 --> 00:12:24,006
It's not blowing over, Rick.
272
00:12:24,089 --> 00:12:25,632
I'd tell you to stay positive, Morty
273
00:12:25,716 --> 00:12:27,801
but I do not like
the looks of that jury.
274
00:12:29,469 --> 00:12:31,471
I can't believe we got ourselves
into this mess
275
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:33,765
over something as petty
as what an adventure is.
276
00:12:33,848 --> 00:12:37,059
Yeah, I... I guess I can admit
I cut a little loose with the stamps.
277
00:12:37,143 --> 00:12:39,812
Gotcha! Can the stenographer read
back that confession, please?
278
00:12:39,895 --> 00:12:43,273
Silence! The killing of
an Observer is unforgivable.
279
00:12:43,357 --> 00:12:47,235
We must now decide whether
to end your existence.
280
00:12:47,611 --> 00:12:50,071
Your Honor, if everyone here
has truly seen everything
281
00:12:50,155 --> 00:12:51,698
then you all know my grandson and I
282
00:12:51,781 --> 00:12:53,491
did this whole thing with giants.
283
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:54,909
Did what whole thing?
284
00:12:54,992 --> 00:12:56,619
I will address that!
285
00:12:56,702 --> 00:12:59,079
I'm your court appointed defender.
286
00:12:59,163 --> 00:13:03,166
Your Honor, observe the time Rick
and Morty did this with giants.
287
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,210
This is an open and shut case, Morty.
288
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:06,878
Y'know what do we think
is gonna happen?
289
00:13:06,961 --> 00:13:08,671
Some magical angel's
gonna show up and...
290
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,924
Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell
the violation of civil liberties!
291
00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:14,718
The moments are practically
identical, Your Honor.
292
00:13:14,802 --> 00:13:17,679
I move for a mistrial
on the grounds it bumps.
293
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:21,016
If the argument is that Rick
and Morty repeat their mistakes
294
00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:22,976
the prosecution agrees!
295
00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:25,520
Oh, god, you sound
just like the guy we killed.
296
00:13:25,603 --> 00:13:26,646
Allegedly.
297
00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:28,481
That was my brother!
298
00:13:28,564 --> 00:13:30,024
I didn't like his voice either.
299
00:13:30,107 --> 00:13:31,775
Well, this isn't gonna help our case.
300
00:13:31,859 --> 00:13:34,194
Neither will this next clip!
301
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:37,030
Morty. I made you a gorilla gun.
Pretty cool, huh?
302
00:13:37,114 --> 00:13:39,658
A gorilla gun?
Does this do what I think it does?
303
00:13:39,741 --> 00:13:40,784
Yep!
304
00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:42,076
Where's your lunch money, punk?
305
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,202
Lunch money?
306
00:13:43,286 --> 00:13:46,414
Are you sure you wouldn't rather
have... a banana?
307
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,918
I thought it would turn him
into a gorilla...
308
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:53,045
Why would you want
a bully to be a gorilla?
309
00:13:53,212 --> 00:13:54,880
It was a gun that kills gorillas.
310
00:13:54,963 --> 00:13:56,006
Please go easy on him.
311
00:13:56,089 --> 00:13:58,008
This one's on me
and it won't happen again.
312
00:13:58,091 --> 00:13:59,926
Morty, this is a bully gun.
313
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:01,636
- Cool!
- Any questions about it?
314
00:14:01,719 --> 00:14:03,763
- Not really.
- Yeah, should be self-explanatory.
315
00:14:03,846 --> 00:14:04,889
Have fun.
316
00:14:05,139 --> 00:14:06,265
Hey. Give me your backpack.
317
00:14:06,348 --> 00:14:08,309
- You trying to bully me?
- Yeah.
318
00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:11,311
Well, how are you gonna bully...
another bully?
319
00:14:11,812 --> 00:14:13,146
What are you doing?
320
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,736
I feel like this one's not
entirely my fault.
321
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:21,946
- Okay, how do you feel?
- I... I'm okay.
322
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,782
I mean, maybe just
stop giving me guns, or...
323
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,075
Or make them less ambiguous.
324
00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:27,993
Way ahead of you. Here. Take this.
325
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,079
This is a gun, and I want to be
really specific here.
326
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:35,041
This is a gun that you only use
to shoot bad people. Are we clear?
327
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,543
- Okay, Rick.
- When are you going to use that?
328
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,295
When I wanna shoot a bad person.
329
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,463
Okay.
330
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,339
I had a great time tonight, Jessica.
331
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,507
Hey. Give me your money.
332
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,425
Why don't you take this instead?
333
00:14:47,552 --> 00:14:49,012
- Jeffrey Dahmer?
- Hi.
334
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:50,972
- What's happening?
- I don't know, just run.
335
00:14:52,056 --> 00:14:56,185
Let the record show this bit
continued for several more guns.
336
00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:58,729
What are we even guilty of
in that one? Being kind of dumb?
337
00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:01,732
For being dumb over and over!
338
00:15:02,357 --> 00:15:06,278
But, Your Honor, is that not
the definition of experimentation?
339
00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:07,987
The foundation of science?
340
00:15:08,071 --> 00:15:11,366
And are Rick and Morty therefore
not only not not learning
341
00:15:11,449 --> 00:15:13,242
but therefore actively learning?
342
00:15:13,326 --> 00:15:15,077
Observe this example!
343
00:15:16,537 --> 00:15:18,997
How long before Ben Franklin
comes back to life?
344
00:15:19,414 --> 00:15:20,791
Holy shit! Yes!
345
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:23,210
Shit, he came back evil.
346
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:25,337
What do you think will happen
if we bury him again?
347
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,005
- You don't know?
- This is my first time
348
00:15:27,088 --> 00:15:28,798
using Pet Sematary soil, Morty.
349
00:15:28,881 --> 00:15:31,676
I mean... as long
as we're asking questions
350
00:15:31,759 --> 00:15:33,469
we've been here so long
my phone died.
351
00:15:33,552 --> 00:15:36,263
- It's not gonna charge your phone!
- So you can be curious and I can't?
352
00:15:36,346 --> 00:15:37,389
Fuck, you're right.
353
00:15:37,472 --> 00:15:39,558
We're sitting on top
of brand new science here.
354
00:15:39,641 --> 00:15:41,059
Let's gather some data!
355
00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:46,397
- Put your back into it, Morty!
- You think it'll refill the tank?
356
00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:47,648
Good pitch, Morty!
357
00:15:47,732 --> 00:15:50,317
Okay, let's bury that kangaroo
from the waist down.
358
00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:52,236
Holy shit! Will only his legs
come back?
359
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:53,362
Who knows?
360
00:15:53,445 --> 00:15:55,906
Hey, I'm having a great time
with you tonight, Morty.
361
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,366
- What's that one?
- Ben Franklin!
362
00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,201
Remember we tried
wrapping him in tin foil
363
00:16:00,285 --> 00:16:01,578
to see if it'd shield him
from the evil?
364
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:02,912
Oh, yeah.
365
00:16:04,288 --> 00:16:05,665
Fuck! I-I-It's hot!
366
00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:07,208
Jesus Christ.
367
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,294
It cooked him like a pig at a luau.
368
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,213
- It's so moist.
- Rick! That's a guy!
369
00:16:13,297 --> 00:16:15,423
Man, what is this place doing to us?
370
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,926
Is nothing sacred to you two?
371
00:16:18,009 --> 00:16:20,553
What are these clips? What are we
even on trial for anymore?
372
00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,597
What's anyone on trial for, son?
373
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,223
Being good or evil.
374
00:16:24,307 --> 00:16:27,851
Look, sure we can be irreverent
but we're far from evil.
375
00:16:27,935 --> 00:16:29,603
We make more friends than enemies.
376
00:16:29,686 --> 00:16:31,646
Let's run the tape on that one!
377
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:34,024
Hey, Rick, can you make
my churro come to life?
378
00:16:34,107 --> 00:16:35,358
On it!
379
00:16:35,859 --> 00:16:37,735
Hi! I'm Churry!
380
00:16:37,819 --> 00:16:39,278
Churry, do you wanna have fun?
381
00:16:39,362 --> 00:16:40,655
Let's go!
382
00:17:07,846 --> 00:17:10,640
This has been the best time
of my life, Churry.
383
00:17:11,349 --> 00:17:14,268
Okay, thanks Rick! You can turn him
back into a regular churro now.
384
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:16,062
What? I... I can't turn him back.
385
00:17:16,145 --> 00:17:18,355
You asked me to bring him to life.
Bam, done.
386
00:17:18,564 --> 00:17:21,942
But he's a churro, he doesn't have
internal organs, a brain, et cetera.
387
00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:24,319
In order to live, I had to make him
functionally immortal.
388
00:17:26,154 --> 00:17:27,197
What?
389
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:35,621
My... my family!
390
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,790
Goodbye, Churry. I'll miss you.
391
00:17:41,835 --> 00:17:44,671
These are just regular churros?
392
00:17:44,754 --> 00:17:47,715
Oh, my god! No!
393
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:51,927
Mark my words, Morty!
I shall leave you as you left me!
394
00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:56,140
On a barren planet!
Praying for death!
395
00:17:56,265 --> 00:17:58,183
I'm starting to see
why this lawyer was free.
396
00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:00,894
Okay, well, we never
intentionally hurt people.
397
00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:02,062
Yeah, we adventure!
398
00:18:02,145 --> 00:18:04,480
Stuff goes wrong,
we don't just murder for fun.
399
00:18:04,856 --> 00:18:06,774
Here's a clip about that topic!
400
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,317
I did it, Morty!
401
00:18:08,401 --> 00:18:10,361
I killed the versions of us
that were in Space Jam!
402
00:18:10,444 --> 00:18:12,780
- Help me with the bodies!
- Wow! How you'd do it, Rick?
403
00:18:12,863 --> 00:18:14,573
It was easy, Morty.
They welcomed death!
404
00:18:14,656 --> 00:18:15,782
They wanted out, Morty!
405
00:18:15,866 --> 00:18:18,076
No... you don't get it,
they begged me.
406
00:18:18,159 --> 00:18:19,202
It was a kindness!
407
00:18:19,285 --> 00:18:20,328
Was that helpful?
408
00:18:20,411 --> 00:18:22,372
It was for the prosecution!
409
00:18:22,455 --> 00:18:24,207
Okay, I've heard enough!
410
00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:25,541
No, you fucking haven't.
411
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,335
If we're about to die,
at least let us defend ourselves.
412
00:18:28,419 --> 00:18:29,586
- Ah, the outrage.
- Seems iffy.
413
00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:32,256
I'll allow it. But no lolly-gagging.
414
00:18:32,339 --> 00:18:34,466
I only need one clip, Your Honor.
415
00:18:34,549 --> 00:18:37,552
If it pleases the court,
hold on to your tits.
416
00:18:42,265 --> 00:18:44,892
I'm a leg, Morty! You like that?
417
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:47,519
Yeah, I know you do.
418
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,313
We already saw that one.
419
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,772
No, that's the other time I did it.
420
00:18:50,856 --> 00:18:52,399
That was your Hail Mary?
421
00:18:52,482 --> 00:18:54,401
I held on to my tits for nothing!
422
00:18:54,484 --> 00:18:55,902
- Boo!
- That was mid!
423
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:58,946
I hereby find Rick and Morty guilty!
424
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,740
Time to die!
425
00:19:08,997 --> 00:19:11,416
- What in tarnation?
- Plot twist!
426
00:19:11,499 --> 00:19:13,585
What d'ya expect?
You gave me access to your tech.
427
00:19:15,044 --> 00:19:16,629
Look, I... I'm not saying
we're heroes
428
00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:18,547
but in the two minutes
I've had access to your server
429
00:19:18,631 --> 00:19:20,132
I can "observe", you're no better.
430
00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:21,634
Here, let's see a clip.
431
00:19:23,552 --> 00:19:25,470
Help! Please!
432
00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:27,139
Oh, my god! Please!
433
00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:28,682
Please!
434
00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,102
Absurd!
435
00:19:33,186 --> 00:19:36,439
If the Observer was in the clip,
who was watching?
436
00:19:36,522 --> 00:19:37,773
Glad you asked!
437
00:19:38,023 --> 00:19:39,274
Please!
438
00:19:42,819 --> 00:19:44,029
Jesus Christ.
439
00:19:44,112 --> 00:19:46,865
You can't shame us for watching.
It's who we are.
440
00:19:46,948 --> 00:19:49,325
Right, and you'd never
take advantage of that.
441
00:19:49,409 --> 00:19:51,577
Hot copies! Freshly watched!
442
00:19:51,661 --> 00:19:53,454
I've got Avatar 3 through 6!
443
00:19:53,537 --> 00:19:55,039
Friends And Family screening.
444
00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,374
The VFX aren't done,
but they're still blue.
445
00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:59,835
It's not my fault I saw those movies!
446
00:19:59,918 --> 00:20:02,379
Yes! We observe, it's all we do.
447
00:20:02,796 --> 00:20:04,297
It's not all you do.
448
00:20:05,173 --> 00:20:07,508
I'll give you guys $20
to fight each other.
449
00:20:08,259 --> 00:20:10,428
Money, money.
450
00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:12,721
As it turns out, you do plenty!
451
00:20:12,805 --> 00:20:14,139
You're just as bad as us!
452
00:20:14,223 --> 00:20:17,601
We're not all bad.
I observe a couple of bad apples.
453
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,394
Who are you calling an apple?
454
00:20:19,478 --> 00:20:22,480
Should we all observe
what you did with Tom's wife?
455
00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:25,483
Observe me harder! Harder!
456
00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,193
I regret nothing, Tom!
457
00:20:27,276 --> 00:20:30,905
The only thing you could never see
was what a treasure Nancy was.
458
00:20:30,988 --> 00:20:33,782
- I'll kill you!
- I'd like to observe you try!
459
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:39,454
Jeez, Rick. People be fucking
each other's wives, huh?
460
00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:40,914
Marriage is a scam, Morty.
461
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:45,209
- Let's scram.
- Wait! I still have more clips!
462
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:48,254
Morty, I appreciate
what you were trying to do
463
00:20:48,337 --> 00:20:50,756
with the punch cards,
my whole groove thing.
464
00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:51,924
Thanks.
465
00:20:52,007 --> 00:20:53,592
So, is this a stamp?
466
00:20:53,675 --> 00:20:55,593
Or you gonna make me count this
as my adventure?
467
00:20:55,677 --> 00:20:57,470
How about we just ignore this one.
468
00:20:57,595 --> 00:20:59,555
Yeah. Yeah, good call.
469
00:21:00,223 --> 00:21:02,016
- Eighty cents on the dollar?
- Seventy-five.
470
00:21:02,099 --> 00:21:03,351
Done!
471
00:21:03,517 --> 00:21:05,394
What d'ya say, Rick?
Fly through space
472
00:21:05,477 --> 00:21:08,063
come upon something,
maybe I have a moral objection
473
00:21:08,147 --> 00:21:10,440
stuff gets messy
and you ultimately bail us out?
474
00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:11,942
Let's take it for a spin.
475
00:21:12,108 --> 00:21:14,152
Rick and Morty! We're back, baby!
476
00:21:14,235 --> 00:21:15,737
Check the glovebox!
477
00:21:16,404 --> 00:21:17,447
Another gun!
478
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:52,311
Hey, Morty, see you
at the frolf mixer tomorrow?
479
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,063
Yeah, sure thing, Jimmy.
480
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,983
I... I knew this day would come.
481
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:00,611
Oh, god!
482
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:05,407
Nice. Free churro.
483
00:22:15,858 --> 00:22:24,199
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