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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,679 This is a story about a boat, 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:10,119 a boat that washed up on a beach and changed a lot of lives, 3 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,959 like for a woman called Janet... Janet! ..and Samuel. 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,679 My name's Samuel. Hi...Samuel. 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,999 And him... What you dinky doing, you? 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,879 ..and her... Pat Tooh with an H. 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,879 ..and him... Ben. 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,439 You don't know me... 9 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,239 ..and this one. Le Tailleur. 10 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,080 And also this guy... 11 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,759 He's not much of a talker. 12 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,760 STATIC HISS 13 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,920 CROW CAWS 14 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:54,400 Argh! 15 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:05,560 Now, some stories start a long, long time ago. 16 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,479 Some stories start in a deep, dark wood. 17 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,679 Some stories start in a galaxy far, far away. 18 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,079 But this story starts here, 19 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:22,320 under a damn pylon, with a severed head, of all things. 20 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,400 Shall we begin? 21 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,480 MOPED ENGINE 22 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:42,479 Let's go back in time to the small town of Applebury. 23 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,279 Not the kind of place people die to go to, 24 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,800 more the kind where people go to die. 25 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,919 It starts one morning, a Thursday, I think, 26 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,199 under smokestacks on a lonely country road. 27 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,719 A woman with blue in her hair driving towards a Thursday... 28 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,799 METALLIC CLUNK 29 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,000 ..unlike any other Thursday she'd experienced. 30 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,600 WHISTLING 31 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,200 TUNELESS WHISTLING CONTINUES 32 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:34,239 Keith, do you mind? It's like one of the Seven Dwarfs had a fucking brain injury. 33 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,999 I'm five-foot-seven. Perfectly good height for a man. 34 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,599 Anyhow, I don't claim to be musical. That's my brother. Hey! 35 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,960 He does... Less chat, come on, we've got quotas here. 36 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,120 Nigel! Shut it down, there's a jam! 37 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,560 Hang on. 38 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,200 Yeah? Well, tell Maggie to... 39 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:21,159 Nah. We'll have to get someone from maintenance here. 40 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,799 FAINTLY: It's stuck, I can't get it to work and I can't... 41 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,599 OK, clear! 42 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,959 SCREAMS 43 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,000 Nige! Argh! 44 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,760 MACHINERY STOPS 45 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,960 Worst Thursday ever. 46 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,080 WAVES CRASHING 47 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,920 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 48 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,240 SIREN 49 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,559 LOUDSPEAKER: Please switch off your engine, so we can board your vessel! 50 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,720 Merde! 51 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,119 Bonsoir. 52 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,240 Do you mind tying that down for us? 53 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,160 Bit nasty out, eh? I've seen worse. 54 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,359 Mind if I take a look around? 55 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,199 May I ask why? 56 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,880 Take a quick look around, then I'll be out your minge. 57 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,440 Mackerel. 58 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,999 Yeah, a whole lot of mackerel. 59 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,800 It was a good haul. 60 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,080 And...not mackerel. 61 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,959 Come on, then. 62 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,000 GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING 63 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,200 FRENCH MUSIC ON RADIO 64 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,000 Argh! 65 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,080 Fucking get up! 66 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,720 MUSIC CONTINUES 67 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,239 You fucking done? Fucking get up! 68 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,439 Fucking get up! 69 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,560 YELLING AND GRUNTING 70 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,400 Urgh! Urgh! 71 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,840 CLUNK 72 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,480 JAUNTY FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES 73 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,240 THUNDER RUMBLES 74 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,439 # Anything you can do, I can do better... # 75 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,279 Hiya. 76 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,919 Evening. 77 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,719 # No, you can't Yes, I can 78 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,599 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 79 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,319 # Anything you can be, I can be greater 80 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,519 # Sooner or later, I'm greater than you 81 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,039 # No, you're not Yes, I am 82 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,879 # No, you're not Yes, I am 83 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,199 # No, you're not Yes, I am. Yes, I am! 84 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,999 # I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge 85 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,839 # I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow 86 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,279 # I can live on bread and cheese... # Right... 87 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,079 # And only on that? Yes. So can a rat 88 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,439 # Any note you can reach, I can go higher 89 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,239 # I can sing anything higher than you 90 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,679 # No, you can't Yes, I can 91 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,119 # No, you can't Yes, I can 92 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,919 # No, you can't Yes, I can. Yes, I can. 93 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,559 # Anything you can say, I can say faster 94 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,519 # I can say anything faster than you 95 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,559 # No, you can't Yes, I can 96 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,599 # No, you can't Yes, I can 97 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,959 # No, you can't Yes, I can 98 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,000 # No, you can't Yes, I can... # 99 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,919 You could just buy it, you know, love? You can buy them?! 100 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:23,039 I didn't win it at a fair that only exists for people who can sell them on at fairs. 101 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,679 See, how it works is I buy the stuffed animals, 102 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,199 and then in this stall, people come and they play and they win... 103 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,239 No, I get that. I were just... 104 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,959 Doesn't matter. 105 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,679 I'm out of money anyway. That were my budget for the week. 106 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,439 But it's not your problem. Thanks. Thanks, anyway. 107 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,759 Tell you what, Annie Oakley. 108 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,200 You've practically bought it already, amount you've slapped down. 109 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,439 Here you go, pet. 110 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,079 Are you sure? 111 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,799 Piece of advice. Don't let it shit on the floor and definitely don't kiss it, 112 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,880 or it turns into a 22-stone fuckhead. 113 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,400 Ta. 114 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,280 KIDS SCREAM 115 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,560 KIDS LAUGH 116 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,239 CROAKY VOICE: Alan... 117 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,799 Alan! 118 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,199 Ribbit, ribbit... No way! Hiya, love. 119 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,519 You finally won the beast! Only took eight years. 120 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,199 The approximate lifespan of the West European hedgehog. 121 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,599 Just don't kiss him, or he turns into a 20-stone fuckhead. Ah! 122 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,679 Sorry. How did you do it? 123 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,199 RUSSIAN ACCENT: I am Russian spy. You know this. 124 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,079 Ah, right. My hand, it become rocket launcher, I shoot the cans at a local fair 125 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,919 and job done, as they say. Shush, don't tell anybody. 126 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,639 You silly woman. 127 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,119 New hand looks good. 128 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,960 No, it doesn't. But thanks, anyway. 129 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,759 You all right? Yeah. I'll be fine, they'll see me right. 130 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,559 Janet, Janet... 131 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,199 Dearie me. 132 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,039 Bit of a coincidence seeing you here, isn't it? 133 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:42,159 No, I was out with a friend actually. So... Yeah. 134 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,439 Where is she, then? She's, erm... 135 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,919 Oh, yes, she's over there. She's on one of the... She's on the slide. 136 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,639 No... Oh, no, she's not. Maybe she... Hot-dogs. Candyfloss, or something like that... 137 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,599 She loves candyfloss. You can't keep doing this. 138 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,719 I don't want to get into restraining orders, but... 139 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,439 This is not your life now. 140 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,320 Maybe you'd be happier if you let Jesus into your world. 141 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,760 Like I did. 142 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,839 Let's go. 143 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,999 We're praying for you, Jenny. 144 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,640 It's Janet. You know it's Janet... 145 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,879 She knew full well it was Janet. 146 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,800 She was just fucking with her. 147 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,640 Sorry. 148 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,399 Would you like your fortune read, darling? 149 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,320 I think it's best I don't. 150 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,319 They say fortune favours the brave. 151 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:51,840 But sometimes, even the bravest souls get left behind. 152 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,919 That's the thing about life, see? 153 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,919 Some frogs never do get kissed. 154 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,680 Some fairy tales never get their ending. 155 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,759 But sometimes, 156 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,519 they find another way. 157 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,720 BIRDS CALL 158 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,120 Drop it. 159 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,519 Good boy. 160 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,480 Come here. Come here! 161 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,239 Jump. That's nice. 162 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,120 Come here. Come on, then. Good boy. DOG YAPPING 163 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,999 Morning. 164 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,440 Morning. 165 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,679 Don't normally see anyone else this time. 166 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,080 I don't sleep well. 167 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,960 Me neither. 168 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,439 Wow! Quick, yours. Ah, no, he's not mine. 169 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,280 The neighbour lets me take him out. 170 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,399 You're not from round here? 171 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,600 What gave it away? 172 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:16,960 Oh, you know... 173 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,079 Everything. 174 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,159 Yeah. Just moved up from London. 175 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,399 We're "one of those". 176 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,999 Tired of the rat race, were it? 177 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,520 Yeah. Something like that. 178 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,879 Tom! 179 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,039 Tom! Where are you? 180 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,200 Tom? 181 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,999 OK. Major Tom? 182 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,480 Major Tom! 183 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,879 RATTLES CAT TREATS 184 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,599 I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. We seem to have misplaced our cat. 185 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,800 When Major Tom returns, would you please give us a call? Thank you. 186 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,280 You're leaving me your cat? 187 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,840 Thank you. 188 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,080 ENGINE STARTS 189 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,680 MAJOR TOM MEOWS 190 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,800 THUNDERCLAP 191 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,680 And the sea air of course, good for the soul, they say. 192 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,640 Well, your new home has been officially recognised as the country's hairiest arsehole. 193 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,480 Makes Peterborough look like...Portugal. 194 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,160 I think it's people make places. 195 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,680 Then we're really fucked. 196 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,160 Sorry. 197 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,800 WIND HOWLS 198 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,360 DOG WHIMPERS 199 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,640 DOG YAPS 200 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,320 What the hell...? Bette, come here. 201 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,240 What is it? What is it, girl? 202 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,520 What is...? 203 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,920 Jesus Christ! 204 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,000 Oh, God! 205 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,799 Call the police. My phone's out. 206 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,600 Right. Just fucking... Come on. 207 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,360 You got to look at this. What? 208 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,480 Fucking hell! Yeah. 209 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,599 What are you waiting for? There's two dead people here. 210 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:58,439 The street value's got to run into tens of millions... 211 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:02,679 So what? Let's just, erm... Let's just give this a minute. 212 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,959 Let's just think... There's nowt to think about. 213 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,480 Jesus! Give me your fucking phone! Just, erm... 214 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,959 Sometimes... Sometimes, the world... 215 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,519 The world throws you a bone. 216 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,840 But you don't always see it. You don't always recognise it, but... 217 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,560 This, what's happening right now, this is the world throwing us a bone. 218 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,480 You want to fucking take it? 219 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,640 I don't know. 220 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,360 Are you mad? 221 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,999 My name's Samuel. What's your name? 222 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,599 What? Look, this situation's fucked up enough as it is without us being total strangers. 223 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,079 My name's Samuel. What's yours, please? 224 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,360 It's Janet. OK. Janet. OK. 225 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,040 Hi, Janet. 226 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,319 Hi, Samuel. 227 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,520 Erm... 228 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:55,279 Listen... Listen, Janet, erm, back in London, I was a lawyer. 229 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,639 And I, think I might... I know this is fucking insane, it's insane, I know, but... 230 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,560 I think I know someone who'd give us a lot of money for this. 231 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,439 I just came here to walk the bloody dog. So did I! 232 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,159 But then the world... Threw us a bone, yeah. Only it's not a bone. 233 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,239 It's a load of cocaine, the size of a fucking Nissan! 234 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,360 I've gambled away my entire life savings. 235 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,879 I sold my house, which is why we moved here. 236 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,200 Camilla, my wife, has no idea. 237 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,799 I don't know what your story is... No, you don't. Right. 238 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,680 But you are telling me you can't use a few million quid? 239 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,320 It is not that simple. But it could be. 240 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,079 Sometimes, you know, the best thing to do is to look out for yourself. 241 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,639 Cos God knows life kicks you in the bollocks often enough, 242 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,319 and when you get a chance you need to take it, grab it with 243 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,879 both hands, because there's nothing worse than living with regret... 244 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,439 HE FADES OUT, WAVES CRASH 245 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,040 Where would we keep it? 246 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,319 We should go. 247 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,559 DOG WHIMPERS 248 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,080 Oh, shit! What? 249 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,640 I gotta clean my dog. 250 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,200 MOBILE RINGS 251 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,799 We missed our date last night. 252 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,679 But I'd already paid the deposit, 253 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,559 so I had a whole beef Wellington to myself. 254 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,359 And I ate it all, 255 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:27,279 the whole soddin' Wellington. 256 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,839 So are you going to give me a call back, or what? 257 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,120 Just a text or anything, just to let me know that you're all right. 258 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,440 Just call me, all right, love? 259 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,240 Turns out the policeman's boyfriend was also a policeman. 260 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,959 And while he was calling his dead lover, 261 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,760 Samuel was washing his Pomeranian in the sea. 262 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,120 Come on, come on, come on. 263 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,280 DOG YAPS 264 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,360 Where the fuck were you? What took you so long? 265 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,239 There was a woman...on the beach. 266 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,599 She saw me. 267 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,679 What? Christ... 268 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,000 Well, she didn't see my face. Come on, just fucking drive. 269 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,200 Hmm. 270 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,359 999, what's your emergency? 271 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:16,519 Yes, there's a Code 4 down at Applebury beach. 272 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,239 A boat on the shore. 273 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,240 No need for sirens, just the meat wagon. 274 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,599 Your name, please? 275 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,679 Pat Tooh, with an H. 276 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,319 Right, are you able to wait a while, while we send an ambulance? 277 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,319 I used to be a paramedic, love. Trust me, they're extremely dead. 278 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,720 They're on their way. Ah, lovely. 279 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,120 IN FRENCH: 280 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,840 MUFFLED GRUNTS 281 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,600 PHONE RINGS 282 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,319 Yes? 283 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,719 What is it? 284 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,079 Sh! 285 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,440 Sh, sh, sh, sh! 286 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,120 Ah, hold on, hold on. 287 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,160 HE CRIES IN PAIN 288 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,640 HE CHOKES 289 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,240 Say that again. 290 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,720 You are talking about my shipment? 291 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,159 But this is a joke. 292 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,680 Tell me it's a joke. 293 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,720 This is how. 294 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,479 Where are we even going? 295 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,199 I think we should drop the dogs off first. 296 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,639 Then I passed a storage unit on my way in. 297 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,559 Storage? Right. You've got all the answers, haven't you, 298 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,919 Mr Storage Face? 299 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,159 Sorry, you got a charger? 300 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,039 Just my phone's... 301 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,319 My wife's, it's in there. 302 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,119 That'll do it. 303 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,919 Oh, I don't understand what just happened. 304 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,559 I feel like my heart's beating right outside my chest. 305 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:38,960 Maybe that's because it is. 306 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,920 Shit. 307 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:55,879 OK. 308 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,439 OK, just... 309 00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,119 Just stay calm. I am. 310 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,760 I'm talking to myself. Oh. 311 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:04,959 Come on, come on, come on. 312 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,640 Keep calm, remember? 313 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,200 Oh, no. What? 314 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,839 What shall I do? 315 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,520 Don't do anything. Just wait and... Huh... 316 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,440 OK. 317 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,639 I'll get out of the way, nice...and slow. 318 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,079 What the fuck are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? 319 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,799 It's a one-way street! What? Oh, shit. 320 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,439 SIREN WAILS What is wrong with you? 321 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,399 I wasn't thinking. Well, start. Pull over! 322 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,559 What? What if we just hit the pedal and we don't look back? 323 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,279 We're not Thelma and Louise, you daft bastard. We're in Applebury. 324 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,640 Stop the fucking car. 325 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,759 Stay calm. Yes, yes, I know. 326 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,999 I'm talking to MYSELF now. 327 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,600 SHE SIGHS 328 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,800 RADIO CHATTER 329 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,559 Hi, officer. So, look, I'm new here, 330 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,999 and I, erm, was meant to take a different turning 331 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,479 and I ended up going down this one-way street. 332 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,519 You know you're going down a one-way street? 333 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,799 Yes, and I'm so sorry. Erm... 334 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,039 You can't do that. No, er... 335 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,079 What if a car was coming towards you? Or a bicycle? 336 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,399 Neither would be good. Or a van. 337 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,559 Absolutely. A mobility scooter. 338 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,639 Right... A kid on a skateboard. 339 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,199 Or those shoes with wheels on. 340 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,239 Can you imagine how that could have ended up? 341 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,760 Terrible. Be dead. 342 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,959 Hiya. You all right? 343 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,319 So, I really am very sorry. 344 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,679 And I'm sorry to be wasting police time. 345 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,159 It's important, the job you guys do. 346 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,119 My friend and I, we were just out walking our dogs together. 347 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,840 Dog buddies! 348 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,919 Yes, dog friends, and we got talking and, er, the turning... 349 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,400 All right. 350 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,239 Tell me something, sir. Yes. 351 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,840 In the back of your car there... 352 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,200 ..is that a whippet? 353 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,999 Yes, yes. Yeah, he's called Rambo. Rambo. 354 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,839 My mummy used to have a whippet. 355 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,839 Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Yeah. 356 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,199 Odd little bodies, though. You can see their ribs. 357 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,320 Yeah, you can. MAN: Ben, come on. 358 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,999 Look, all right, no harm done, all right? 359 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,199 But please be more careful next time. Yes, will do. 360 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,119 Yeah, of course. Thanks. See you later. Right. 361 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,840 Thank you so much. Thank you. 362 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,280 Dog buddies? 363 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,360 I panicked. 364 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,719 And that's just ten of the great uses for safety pins. 365 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:31,839 Harold's Life Hacks - hit the subscribe button below. 366 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,960 CAMERA BEEPS 367 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,919 Hey. We need storage. 368 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,000 Oh, and, er, these. 369 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,640 HE SIGHS 370 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,359 Right, we've got a padlock each, 371 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,600 so it needs both of us if we want to get into it. 372 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,159 Don't you trust me? 373 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,920 You said you were a lawyer, didn't you? 374 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,199 You can just ask me, you know. 375 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,399 Ask you what? My hand. You keep staring at it 376 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,479 like it's a pair of tits. No, I don't! You do. 377 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,799 It were a work accident - 378 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,079 hand versus industrial metal-pressing machine. 379 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,560 Guess who lost. 380 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,119 Good lawyer could get you six figures. 381 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,559 Oh, my God! I never thought of that! 382 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,639 No, me, erm... 383 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,439 My manager, he, er, he gave me some whisky after it happened. 384 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,159 Don't tell the bods upstairs that you saw this. 385 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,680 It'll just take the edge off it. 386 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,279 I downed the lot, 387 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,839 on account of the extreme fucking agony I were experiencing. 388 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,799 He later claimed that I were drinking on the job, 389 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,840 so, no pay-out...for me. 390 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,519 You can ask me anything, you know. 391 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,479 I'm all right, actually. MOBILE RINGS 392 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,399 Sorry, got to take this. 393 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,680 Hello, Samuel speaking. 394 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,839 You're joking. 395 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,239 OK. No, thanks. It's great. I, erm... 396 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:54,439 Can I call you back? It's not a good time. 397 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,640 Thank you. 398 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,839 Who were that? It's my cat, Major Tom. 399 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,119 Your what? 400 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:02,839 No, my cat's not calling me, obviously. 401 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,039 It's, er, my estate agent. 402 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,279 When we moved out of the house in London, 403 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,119 the cat went AWOL, and it seems he's back. 404 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,800 You moved house and you left your cat behind? 405 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,520 What the fuck am I doing? 406 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,119 What now? 407 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,799 I don't know. 408 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,120 What are you supposed to do after something like this? 409 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,759 I thought you could use this. 410 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,959 Soy, right? Oh, Colin, you're the best! 411 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,280 It's all right. I was passing anyway. 412 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,880 I'd better be getting on. Yeah. 413 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,839 Why don't you just ask her out? 414 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,639 I've, er, actually written her a note. 415 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,399 Great. Just what every grown woman wants. 416 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,999 Follow it up by pulling her pigtails and telling her she smells 417 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,439 and you're golden. 418 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,439 Love might have been in the air for Colin, 419 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,999 but, for Arthur Lake, 420 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,159 it was quite the opposite. 421 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:36,199 As he sat there lost in a haze of pain and sadness, 422 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,239 the last thing he needed to hear was the words... 423 00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:42,040 ECHOING: You all right, buddy? 424 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,440 Buddy? 425 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,559 Who are you? Ben. 426 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,799 You don't know me. Or my name. Clearly. 427 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,999 I just wanted to say how sorry I was about what happened 428 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,559 to your life-partner. 429 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,079 I really am sorry, buddy. 430 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,879 It's all right if I call you buddy, isn't it? 431 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,119 He seemed nice. 432 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,360 I'm not that way inclined, you know, but if I were, I'd be interested. 433 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,159 He probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway, would he? 434 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,639 I wonder who would. 435 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,679 Ian, maybe. 436 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,120 Do you know Ian? 437 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,120 Arthur... Come on. 438 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,639 How are you doing? 439 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,319 As you'd expect. 440 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,559 I know you'd rather be anywhere but here right now, 441 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,119 only something's come up. 442 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,639 How do you mean? 443 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,319 Mark took a unit boat out onto the water, 444 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,199 but the case number he assigned to it... 445 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,440 It doesn't exist. 446 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,319 Sorry, I don't... Erm... 447 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,559 What are you asking me? 448 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,959 He takes a police vessel out into the ocean - at night, on his own. 449 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,439 Next thing we know, we find him in that fishing boat 450 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,679 with an as yet unidentified body. 451 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,640 Are you saying he was on the take? 452 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,119 Because if you are, sir, that's some fucking bollocks. 453 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,719 Not here, lad. In my office. I'm fine where I am, thanks. 454 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:07,039 We're just trying to piece things together, that's all. 455 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,919 I fucking loved him! 456 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,239 So don't you dare stand there and make out like 457 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:13,039 him being killed was somehow his fault! 458 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,239 Mark was a good officer. 459 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,359 The whole force has suffered a loss today. 460 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,959 HE CHUCKLES SARDONICALLY 461 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,199 Nice eulogy. 462 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,400 You going to bury his reputation alongside his fucking corpse? 463 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,879 Nice and easy. 464 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,559 Good boy. 465 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,479 I'm not doing rock, paper, scissors. 466 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:53,679 Why? 467 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:54,999 Cos it's stupid. 468 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,840 And we've got pubes now, that's why. 469 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,200 Well, how about foot, cockroach, nuclear bomb? 470 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,599 What the fuck is that? 471 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,519 Well, it's basically rock, paper, scissors. 472 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,399 Oh, for fuck's sake. No, I'm not doing it. 473 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,000 All right, Ron, answer me this. 474 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,280 How many times did you fail your driving test? 475 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,079 Twice. 476 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,399 Three times. 477 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,039 Fucked up the three-point turn. 478 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:22,359 Well, there you go. 479 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,199 You're driving this time. 480 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,679 Oh, and do me a favour, 481 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,919 have a little think about what we're going to eat later. 482 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,720 This place I drew the map on looks lovely. 483 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,279 20% voucher off and all, eh? 484 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:35,639 THEY LAUGH 485 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,240 You know it makes sense. 486 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,480 Right, let's do it. 487 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,519 PACKET RUSTLES 488 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,079 HE MUNCHES 489 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,120 PHONE RINGS 490 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,440 Hmm... 491 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,360 PACKET RUSTLES 492 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,680 SHOTGUN COCKS 493 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,640 ENTRY SYSTEM BUZZES 494 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,120 SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE 495 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,680 GUNFIRE CONTINUES 496 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,960 SHOUTING AND SCREAMING 497 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,600 SHRIEK, GUNSHOT 498 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:26,160 NOISE ECHOES 499 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,640 Please, no... GUNSHOT 500 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,560 Please... Plea-... 501 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,440 SHOTGUN COCKS 502 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,120 HE STRAINS 503 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,880 TINY SQUEAK 504 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:25,520 HE BREATHES HEAVILY 505 00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,880 WHISPERS: Get down, get down... 506 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,959 Read it when this is done, would you? Sh. 507 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,840 DOOR OPENS 508 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:28,760 WHISPERS: No, no. 509 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,640 SHE SCREAMS 510 00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:52,960 Stand up. 511 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,559 Where's the evidence locker? 512 00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:02,000 It says it should fucking be here, now where is it? 513 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,080 I think it's the wrong way round. 514 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,799 Ah... 515 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,520 HE LAUGHS 516 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,199 Cheers. 517 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:25,520 GUNSHOT 518 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,480 HE EXHALES 519 00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,000 PHONE LINE BLEEPS 520 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,520 Wrong fucking floor. Basement. 521 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,480 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 522 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,160 ENTRY PAD BEEPS 523 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:23,960 No, no, no. 524 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,880 It's not here. 525 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,480 It's fucking not here. 526 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,320 ENGINE STARTS 527 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:13,920 PHONE PINGS 528 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,999 It were just a friend. 529 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,040 PHONE PINGS 530 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:35,879 Oh! Get two-for-one with a fax machine there, did you? 531 00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,080 No. 532 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:41,199 It's so I don't have a 24-hour casino in my pocket. 533 00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,640 Ah, sorry. 534 00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,680 Ah, OK... 535 00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:53,999 Why are you looking at me like that? 536 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,839 Because I am wondering why you agreed to do something like this. 537 00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,400 Cos you're so persuasive. 538 00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:02,640 Let me tell you something. 539 00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:05,720 You know my secrets... 540 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,559 ..all of them. Fucking hell. 541 00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:10,119 HE LAUGHS 542 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,360 You're the only person in the world who does. 543 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:17,000 I reckon this is a safe space. 544 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:19,920 OK. 545 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,839 That weren't me friend that texted earlier. 546 00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:25,399 It were me ex, Peter. 547 00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,959 Cos I accidentally, on purpose - 548 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,959 - very on-purpose - bumped into our boy 549 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,519 the other day and he mentioned a restraining order again. 550 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,479 A restraining order? That's your son, isn't it? 551 00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,919 He's not, actually. I mean, he is. 552 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,879 He were just a baby when I met his dad. 553 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,119 His mum had buggered off and then suddenly there I were. 554 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,359 Not a bloody clue what I were doing. 555 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,480 And I bloody loved it, every minute. 556 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,919 Anyway, Peter, he met a younger model 557 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,239 who were hard for Jesus, so that were that. 558 00:49:54,240 --> 00:49:56,919 So, now I can't see him anymore. 559 00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,360 So, from being a mum to being... 560 00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:03,879 ..numb, I suppose. 561 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,720 Yeah, like I never fucking existed. 562 00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:10,200 That's shit. Sorry. 563 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,040 Oh, fucking hell. 564 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,280 Can I... Can I show you something? 565 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,079 So, this is...yours? 566 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,279 It's the last painting I sold. 567 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,279 It's beautiful. 568 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,119 Yeah, at least I kept the hand I paint with. 569 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:38,799 No, I mean it. 570 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,679 You have real talent. 571 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,240 Shades of Demuth... 572 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,999 Charles Demuth. TANNOY CHIMES 573 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,319 OK... 574 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,439 ANNOUNCEMENT: Attention, all shoppers, 575 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:54,559 Tinley Shopping Centre will close today at 4pm due to an incident... 576 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,639 Yep. Years of effort and if you're lucky, 577 00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,920 maybe you get a spot in the Tinley Centre. 578 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:04,119 Why'd you bring me here? 579 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:09,519 Sometimes I come here and I pretend like I'm in some art gallery 580 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,679 and it's like I'm in some alternate reality 581 00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:15,600 where I'm not the unluckiest person in the world. 582 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:20,759 So why did...? 583 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,559 You asked me 584 00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,600 why I agreed to do this, right? Mm-hm. 585 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,879 Cos everything I thought I had - 586 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,559 my future, me... Me fucking fingers, 587 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:33,279 and me boy - 588 00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,199 it's all nothing. 589 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,759 And I am... I am done with nothing. 590 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,040 And you need to know that. 591 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,520 Do not fuck me over on this. 592 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,479 Do not fuck me over on this, please. 593 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,960 MOBILE RINGS 594 00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:54,999 You OK, love? 595 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,719 He hasn't told you anything, has he? 596 00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,319 Who? Oh, your dad? 597 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:01,199 No, no, apart from where I can stick it. Why? 598 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,880 It's just, it feels like there's something going on. 599 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,759 Like, afoot, you might even say. 600 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:12,519 Dad and Suzie, they keep going quiet whenever I come into a room like... 601 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,200 Got to go. He's coming back. 602 00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:17,839 Alan. Alan? 603 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,960 Fuck's sake. SHE TUTS 604 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,919 Well, we should probably, er, call it a night 605 00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,919 before your cat takes out a second mortgage. 606 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,800 Yes, yes, yes. 607 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,520 The family will be wondering where I got to. 608 00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:40,079 So, erm, all right. 609 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:41,479 Well, then, erm, yeah. 610 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,399 I'll... I'll... 611 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,720 I'll be in touch. Oh... 612 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,119 Right, leave it to the one with one hand. 613 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,559 Actually, I can't just go and pretend it's been a normal day. 614 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:54,999 I'm going to go and drink some more. 615 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,080 So, despite what you said, you are welcome to come and join me. 616 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:04,440 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 617 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,040 Let's leave Janet and Samuel doing karaoke... 618 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,639 ..and go find Arthur running 619 00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:18,879 away from grief PHONE RINGS 620 00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,040 and towards a whole new set of problems. 621 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,239 Look, whatever you're selling, piss off, all right? 622 00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:30,199 I'm not selling anything, Mr Lake. 623 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,880 How are you? 624 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,159 Who's this? 625 00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,999 Le Tailleur. 626 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,839 The Tailor, like you would say. 627 00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:42,919 But, like most things, it sounds better in French. 628 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,840 We haven't met, but you have something of mine, I think. 629 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,999 I don't know what you're talking about. 630 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,039 The boat was found, and two bodies - 631 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:52,679 my associate, your partner, 632 00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,799 and the boat's cargo is gone. 633 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,039 My people checked the police evidence room. 634 00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,639 I've done my work, you see. 635 00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,239 You were working together to steal from me. 636 00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:03,119 Mate, I don't know who the fuck you are 637 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,999 or what the fuck you are talking about, all right? 638 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,799 Don't. Please. 639 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,439 Another shipment of mine was taken six weeks ago. 640 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,079 Two men in police uniform. 641 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,559 Now, one, I can shrug it off - 642 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,119 bad luck, the cost of doing business - 643 00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,160 but two...? Get fucked. 644 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:26,479 I believe appearances are very important, 645 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,879 no matter what your business. 646 00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:33,719 Perception is no mere superficial concern, it is everything. 647 00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:36,359 And the perception of my organisation, 648 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,759 to lose two shipments... 649 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:40,399 You see my problem? 650 00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:43,760 Seems to me you've got another problem, pal. 651 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,320 You've got to find me first. 652 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,159 # Ground Control to Major Tom... # 653 00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,959 He claimed not to know anything. 654 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:01,040 So, I have a journey to make. 655 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,079 No, no, I'm looking forward to it. 656 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,039 It's good to get out of the house once in a while. 657 00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:10,199 The thing about stories is, 658 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,959 it's they can take you anywhere. 659 00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:17,240 To well-paid mass murderers in search of 20% discounts... 660 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,919 ..to the places that we thought were gone 661 00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:23,520 and maybe lost forever. 662 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:30,360 Fairy tales about frogs being kissed that needed an ending... 663 00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,719 ..to a boy playing an instrument 664 00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:38,760 thinking about the mother he wishes could be his mother. 665 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:47,279 # This is Ground Control to Major Tom 666 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:51,080 # You've really made the grade 667 00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:57,560 # And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear 668 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:05,079 # Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare... # 669 00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,119 I will find the money and hang them from the sky. 670 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,320 When I'm done... 671 00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,080 ..there will be nothing left. 672 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,519 Yes, stories can take us anywhere, 673 00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,959 sometimes even back to the beginning, 674 00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,000 or the end, depending on how you look at it. 675 00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,919 I'll give you a fiver to touch it. 676 00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:43,399 You reckon we should tell someone? 677 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,200 MAN: Oi! 45268

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