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1
00:00:41,429 --> 00:00:42,430
Eddie, you want to pass these out
2
00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:43,932
- to the guys there? Thanks.
- Sure.
3
00:00:43,932 --> 00:00:47,036
That's it, prison cell. Really give it to him.
4
00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:50,240
Remember, he's in for 10 years hard labour.
5
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,544
Uh, guys in the elevator?
6
00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:55,548
Yeah, don't let our members down. Keep it up.
7
00:00:55,548 --> 00:00:58,050
Michael, don't cross in front of the camera.
Thanks.
8
00:00:59,053 --> 00:01:01,657
Men on the oral reef? Splash down.
9
00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,562
Easy, merman, easy.
10
00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:09,067
Keep it liquid.
11
00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,068
That's it.
12
00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:16,075
Mind if I ask you a question, Ted?
13
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:17,878
- Shoot.
- Oh yeah.
14
00:01:17,888 --> 00:01:19,868
Not you.
15
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,883
- Sorry, Ted.
- You.
16
00:01:21,883 --> 00:01:24,387
How do you get any work done with all these...
17
00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:26,379
hot, horny guys surrounding you?
18
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,391
Yeah, if it were me,
19
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:28,392
I'd have a permanent boner.
20
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,894
Thought you already did.
21
00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:32,097
Hot and horny action is my work.
22
00:01:32,097 --> 00:01:35,101
Ahh... it's like a dream come true.
23
00:01:35,101 --> 00:01:37,103
I can guess what kind of dream.
24
00:01:37,605 --> 00:01:39,608
Whoever thought that you, Theodore Schmidt,
25
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:42,111
loser, reject, putz,
26
00:01:42,111 --> 00:01:45,014
would wind up being the luckiest
fucker in the world?
27
00:01:45,114 --> 00:01:48,119
Do I detect a note of envy? Bri?
28
00:01:49,621 --> 00:01:52,124
I gotta get back to work.
29
00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,127
I have a new account.
30
00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,629
Baby wipes.
31
00:01:55,629 --> 00:01:56,631
Yeah, I got...
32
00:01:56,631 --> 00:01:58,133
Comic books I gotta unpack
33
00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,134
and file and display
34
00:01:59,134 --> 00:02:00,636
and then pack and file and display...
35
00:02:00,636 --> 00:02:02,138
- Mr. Schmidt.
- Well, as for me...
36
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:04,141
- There you are.
- Thank you, Eddie.
37
00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:06,144
I've got, uh, let's see.
38
00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:09,147
"Rim-O-Rama" from 2:00 to 5:00,
39
00:02:09,147 --> 00:02:10,650
I've got "Dildo Daze",
40
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,653
spelled D-A-Z-E.
41
00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:14,655
Isn't that cute?
42
00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:16,156
From 6:00 to 9:00...
43
00:02:16,156 --> 00:02:17,658
Thanks for not rubbing our noses in it.
44
00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:19,661
You're welcome.
45
00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,653
Ah, I'd ask you boys to stay,
46
00:02:21,664 --> 00:02:23,667
but I know you need to toddle on back
47
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:28,172
to your lacklustre little lives.
48
00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:29,174
Try not to work too hard.
49
00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:30,680
Fucker.
50
00:02:36,584 --> 00:02:40,590
You know you make love like you play your violin?
51
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:43,093
With an accompanist in front of a cheering audience?
52
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:46,087
On the street corner for cash?
53
00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:50,603
Like you're in a trance.
54
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,806
With your eyes closed.
55
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:57,313
And you're my instrument.
56
00:02:57,313 --> 00:03:00,817
First I tune you...
57
00:03:00,817 --> 00:03:05,022
and then I stroke you with my bow...
58
00:03:08,327 --> 00:03:11,840
and then I make beautiful sounds
pour out of you.
59
00:03:24,348 --> 00:03:26,761
I have to go.
60
00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:36,265
- You have big plans tonight?
- Oh, yeah.
61
00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:38,769
A date with copy-boy.
62
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:40,771
I'm running off posters for my comic book.
63
00:03:40,771 --> 00:03:43,274
That's awesome.
64
00:03:43,274 --> 00:03:45,967
We're going to plaster Liberty Avenue,
try to sell some of it.
65
00:03:45,978 --> 00:03:47,080
Well maybe we could work together.
66
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,582
I fiddle, you peddle.
67
00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:50,083
Starving Artists Inc.
68
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,689
That's us.
69
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:09,510
You know, if you stayed sometime...
70
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,513
we could wake up together,
71
00:04:11,513 --> 00:04:13,515
watch the sun rise.
72
00:04:13,515 --> 00:04:16,529
Makes everything red and gold.
73
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,035
Yes.
74
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,741
You are so good.
75
00:04:32,741 --> 00:04:37,045
Hey, how come when I got a strike,
I didn't get one of those?
76
00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:39,550
Hey, Donna. How come when Horvath got a strike,
77
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:40,551
he didn't get one of those?
78
00:04:43,055 --> 00:04:44,557
Come here.
79
00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:48,562
Oh, I'm up.
80
00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:54,971
Let's go, Deb.
81
00:04:58,977 --> 00:05:00,479
Love your balls.
82
00:05:00,479 --> 00:05:03,984
Thanks.
83
00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:08,490
Oh, my God! You did it!
84
00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:11,194
Fantastic!
85
00:05:11,194 --> 00:05:13,296
Let's see.
86
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:17,602
Yes! All right, let's hear it for me!
87
00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:18,603
Oh, I'm so...
88
00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:21,606
Our lady of the lanes.
89
00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:28,017
Excuse me.
90
00:05:28,017 --> 00:05:32,018
But there happen to be a lot
of really great gay bowlers.
91
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:33,023
Name one.
92
00:05:33,023 --> 00:05:35,026
I'll name more than one.
93
00:05:35,026 --> 00:05:37,017
We have our own gay bowling team
94
00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:38,530
right here in Pittsburgh...
95
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:40,032
The Liberty Balls.
96
00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:42,924
And they can knock the fucking pins
out from under you.
97
00:05:42,937 --> 00:05:44,439
Hey, bring 'em on.
98
00:05:44,439 --> 00:05:46,942
Could we get back to our game, please?
99
00:05:46,942 --> 00:05:48,945
Any time, anywhere.
100
00:05:48,945 --> 00:05:51,448
How about... here, Friday night?
101
00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:52,951
Cops against the queers.
102
00:05:52,951 --> 00:05:55,954
Ah, forget it, it's a bad idea.
103
00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,957
Afraid they're gonna kick your ass?
104
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:58,959
Trust me,
105
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,562
won't be anywhere near my ass.
106
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:06,068
Come on. Who's next?
107
00:06:08,471 --> 00:06:09,973
How could we have been afraid
108
00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:11,976
that it would never be like this again?
109
00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:13,478
Leda was right.
110
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:14,981
All we needed was a jump-start.
111
00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:18,484
She jumped us all right.
112
00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:20,486
I'm glad what happened, happened.
113
00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:21,488
You are?
114
00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:23,491
It made me realize...
115
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,995
that despite our ups and downs,
116
00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:28,998
and the occasional dry spell,
117
00:06:28,998 --> 00:06:31,502
you're still the only one I ever want to be with.
118
00:06:31,502 --> 00:06:33,817
Oh, Mel.
119
00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:43,317
Hey, girls.
120
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,823
Leda?
121
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,326
Hi.
122
00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:50,829
I heard the floorboards
123
00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:52,330
squeaking overhead and...
124
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,833
Our next renovation.
125
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,334
And I figured,
126
00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:56,837
since you're up,
127
00:06:57,337 --> 00:06:59,841
why don't we have a little slumber party?
128
00:06:59,841 --> 00:07:02,845
Just us girls.
129
00:07:06,851 --> 00:07:09,353
Oh, gosh... there's Gus.
130
00:07:09,353 --> 00:07:12,362
I better go see what's wrong.
131
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:22,872
Thanks for a good day's jerk.
132
00:07:23,372 --> 00:07:26,376
Here you go, for you.
133
00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:29,380
This is for you.
134
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:32,284
Ulysses...
135
00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,787
Perseus...
136
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,794
Hercules...
137
00:07:39,294 --> 00:07:43,299
Stanley, thanks for a good day's jerk.
138
00:07:43,299 --> 00:07:44,801
I don't get it, Mr. Schmidt.
139
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,303
Get what, Eddie?
140
00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:48,295
I overheard you telling your friends
141
00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:49,797
that it was like a dream come true
142
00:07:49,807 --> 00:07:51,810
being here with all these hot and horny guys.
143
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,816
And yet...
144
00:07:55,816 --> 00:07:58,819
just now, when they all walk by you...
145
00:07:58,819 --> 00:08:00,322
you barely looked up.
146
00:08:00,322 --> 00:08:02,825
Well, I was passing out paycheques.
147
00:08:02,825 --> 00:08:05,830
You know... had to make sure
the name went with the dick.
148
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,836
But what about the other night?
149
00:08:10,836 --> 00:08:11,838
Other night?
150
00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,341
Don't you remember?
151
00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:16,844
"Duelling dicks"?
152
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,847
Over 12 hours of non-stop j.o. action?
153
00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,852
Oh, right.
154
00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,853
It had to have been one of the
porn events of the century,
155
00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:25,355
and yet you just sat there.
156
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:26,357
Doing your books.
157
00:08:26,357 --> 00:08:29,361
You didn't look up through the whole thing.
158
00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:32,365
Not once.
159
00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:36,371
Well that's... that's very observant...
Eddie, but, uh,
160
00:08:36,371 --> 00:08:38,874
you have to understand, this is work.
161
00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:40,876
And I'm the boss.
162
00:08:41,377 --> 00:08:43,982
I have a professional demeanour I have to maintain.
163
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,985
However...
164
00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:47,996
it doesn't mean I wasn't loving
every minute of it.
165
00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:56,498
Well...
166
00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,000
if you don't need me for anything else,
167
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,002
do you mind if I take off?
168
00:08:59,002 --> 00:09:02,006
Oh no, you go ahead. I'll lock up.
169
00:09:02,006 --> 00:09:04,512
Thanks, Mr. Schmidt.
170
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:09,016
- See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
171
00:10:07,995 --> 00:10:09,998
You're working late.
172
00:10:09,998 --> 00:10:13,001
Well, that's one of the benefits of being a partner.
173
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:15,494
You give someone something to do,
they fuck it up
174
00:10:15,505 --> 00:10:17,508
and then you get to do it yourself.
175
00:10:17,508 --> 00:10:19,510
You asked for it.
176
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:22,014
Yeah, and I got it.
177
00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:24,017
Where have you been?
178
00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,018
Studying.
179
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,020
And I had to get these.
180
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,523
What do you think?
181
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:32,027
My own little advertising genius.
182
00:10:34,030 --> 00:10:35,531
I told you I'd help you.
183
00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,534
You're too busy.
184
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,037
Come here.
185
00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:42,545
I have to shower, I stink.
186
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,550
From studying?
187
00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:51,569
Sweating over a project.
188
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:05,072
You scared me.
189
00:11:05,072 --> 00:11:07,075
Relax.
190
00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:09,077
It's not that kind of a shower scene.
191
00:11:14,585 --> 00:11:17,088
I thought you had work to do.
192
00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:19,091
But I got all sweaty too.
193
00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:28,703
Brian?
194
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,999
Thank God that he started crying.
195
00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:41,001
I've never been so happy hear him scream his lungs out.
196
00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:43,505
I mean, unfortunately we can't
count on him to save us
197
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:46,509
next time she shows up wanting to... dive in.
198
00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:48,511
We could always put a lock on the bedroom door.
199
00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:50,013
I'm serious.
200
00:12:50,024 --> 00:12:52,016
We're going to have to set up some sort of blockade.
201
00:12:52,016 --> 00:12:54,019
Well, the problem is she doesn't seem to realize
202
00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:56,022
- it was a one-time thing.
- How could she not?
203
00:12:56,523 --> 00:12:58,024
It was just a spontaneous
204
00:12:58,024 --> 00:12:59,527
"I don't know how the hell it happened
205
00:12:59,527 --> 00:13:01,530
but there you are, doing it" sort of thing.
206
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,533
Well, we just need to be honest with her.
207
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,034
Okay.
208
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,035
You do it.
209
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,538
Me? What about you?
210
00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,541
- You were there too.
- I know,
211
00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:11,733
but you're much better at
rejecting people than I am.
212
00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:12,345
Excuse me?
213
00:13:12,845 --> 00:13:14,947
I meant that in the highest form of praise.
214
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:17,452
I mean, you're great when it comes to firing the sitter,
215
00:13:17,452 --> 00:13:18,953
or saying no to phone solicitors.
216
00:13:18,953 --> 00:13:20,456
I mean, how many times have you told your mother
217
00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:21,957
she can't come live with us?
218
00:13:21,957 --> 00:13:24,461
Oh, so in other words,
you're a timid little shiksa.
219
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:26,464
- That's me.
- Well, this is a lot more difficult
220
00:13:26,464 --> 00:13:28,266
than telling the salvation army to take a hike.
221
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:29,769
Leda's a dear friend. Not only that,
222
00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:32,270
she's doing us a big favour.
223
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,673
Wait, that's it.
224
00:13:33,673 --> 00:13:35,776
The deal was, she could come stay with us
225
00:13:35,776 --> 00:13:37,779
while she was working on the studio, right?
226
00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:39,279
Right.
227
00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:42,785
The studio's practically done.
228
00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:45,790
So we don't say anything,
and in a couple of days...
229
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,792
Our problem moves out with her?
230
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:50,295
Yes.
231
00:14:10,624 --> 00:14:13,627
Uh, we'll poster Gayopolis a lot
faster if we split up.
232
00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:15,129
I'll get the other side of the street.
233
00:14:15,129 --> 00:14:17,751
- Good idea.
- Okay.
234
00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:32,754
Hey, how's it going?
235
00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:34,756
Well, business is a little slow,
236
00:14:34,756 --> 00:14:37,058
but at least one devoted fan is here.
237
00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:38,059
Thanks.
238
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,864
Not you. Bertha.
239
00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:43,367
She never misses a performance.
240
00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:47,272
What've you got there?
241
00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:48,273
Posters.
242
00:14:48,273 --> 00:14:52,279
Ah, for your comic book. "Rage".
243
00:14:52,279 --> 00:14:54,782
I'm hoping to sell enough
to pay for tuition next year.
244
00:14:54,782 --> 00:14:55,784
Well, you never know.
245
00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:58,287
I hear the guys who did "The X-Men"
made a fortune.
246
00:14:58,287 --> 00:15:01,292
Hey, you want to go get a latte?
247
00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:02,793
I can't, I have to put these up.
248
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:06,788
Okay, well maybe this weekend
we can go see a movie.
249
00:15:06,799 --> 00:15:08,702
You like French films?
250
00:15:08,702 --> 00:15:10,203
I've never been to one.
251
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:13,007
Never been? Peasant.
252
00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:16,012
The student film society is having
a truffaut retrospective.
253
00:15:16,012 --> 00:15:18,014
They're showing "Jules et Jim".
254
00:15:18,014 --> 00:15:21,018
A story about two men in love
with the same woman.
255
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:23,522
Only if you'll notice, her name's not in the title
256
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:27,026
which leads me to believe that
they're in love with each other.
257
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:30,031
It's hard enough loving one person.
258
00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,034
But if you're the one the other
two are in love with,
259
00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,458
then you can break both their hearts.
260
00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:52,460
- I'll call you about the weekend.
- Sure.
261
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,263
That's cool. "Jules et Jim,"
262
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:55,768
or something.
263
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:07,281
Hey, porn king, what are you
doing here amid the serfs?
264
00:16:07,782 --> 00:16:09,283
Fuck off.
265
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,786
Oh, is that nice.
266
00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:12,789
Here I am, actually giving you the time of day,
267
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:16,794
and all you can do is level a
rather pedestrian curse at me.
268
00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:18,997
Hey, Brian, wait.
269
00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:24,503
Uh, come have a drink. On me.
270
00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:26,506
Couple of dewars.
271
00:16:26,506 --> 00:16:29,511
Well, we're serious tonight.
272
00:16:29,511 --> 00:16:33,016
The unthinkable has happened.
273
00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:35,509
"Ted Schmidt woke one morning from fitful dreams
274
00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:39,023
to find himself transformed in his bed
into a giant vagina."
275
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:41,026
Worse.
276
00:16:41,526 --> 00:16:44,030
I'm...
277
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,533
immune.
278
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:48,536
To penicillin?
279
00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:50,038
To clever literary references?
280
00:16:50,038 --> 00:16:53,142
To porn.
281
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,645
I look at it and it has no effect on me.
282
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:56,648
Zippo. Nada.
283
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:59,150
I totally lost interest in it.
284
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,655
And I didn't even know it.
285
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,156
One day, suddenly, it's...
286
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,158
just gone.
287
00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:05,159
You know what they say.
288
00:17:05,661 --> 00:17:06,661
Too much of a good thing...
289
00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:10,166
You're not helping.
290
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:13,170
I've seen all my wildest fantasies fulfilled,
291
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:15,172
live and uncensored right before my eyes,
292
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:18,177
over, and over...
293
00:17:18,177 --> 00:17:19,880
- and over...
- I got it.
294
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,381
So... maybe I need to...
295
00:17:21,882 --> 00:17:23,483
lay off for a while, you know, just...
296
00:17:23,483 --> 00:17:24,485
just give it a rest.
297
00:17:24,485 --> 00:17:27,790
Or maybe you need to stop watching and do.
298
00:17:30,294 --> 00:17:33,297
What's your most secret sexual fantasy?
299
00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:35,300
Are you crazy?
300
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,803
I'm not telling you that.
301
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:37,803
Fine.
302
00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:39,794
Live out the remainder of your days
303
00:17:39,805 --> 00:17:41,808
condemned to sexual purgatory.
304
00:17:41,808 --> 00:17:43,314
All right.
305
00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:48,316
But if I tell you, do you promise
306
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,819
not to make me feel like a fool?
307
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,635
That would be redundant.
308
00:18:07,143 --> 00:18:10,151
I may have seriously underestimated you, Theodore.
309
00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:15,154
Hey, you go, Em.
310
00:18:15,154 --> 00:18:19,160
Come on.
311
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,163
Look, look! I did it, I got them all down.
312
00:18:22,163 --> 00:18:24,166
The next time, honey,
313
00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:25,969
try and do it in your lane.
314
00:18:27,972 --> 00:18:29,974
Gotta hand it to you mom,
315
00:18:29,974 --> 00:18:33,178
this match is the worst idea you have ever had.
316
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,181
Well, what was I supposed to do?
317
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,684
Let them get away with making
fun of gay bowlers?
318
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,586
- We do.
- Yeah well, they're cops,
319
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,988
they should be held to a higher standard.
320
00:18:40,988 --> 00:18:42,891
- Right.
- We're going to do fine.
321
00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:46,295
- All we need to do is practice.
- That's right.
322
00:18:46,395 --> 00:18:47,898
'Cause practice makes perfect.
323
00:18:47,898 --> 00:18:49,700
Brian already is perfect.
324
00:18:50,201 --> 00:18:51,703
Glad you think so.
325
00:18:51,703 --> 00:18:53,205
Yeah. A little more practice,
326
00:18:53,706 --> 00:18:55,307
and I'll be perfect too.
327
00:18:55,307 --> 00:18:57,310
You actually have a lot of potential, Emmett.
328
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,312
For manslaughter?
329
00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:01,918
You just need to work on your follow-through.
330
00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:04,020
See, wherever your hand goes, the ball goes.
331
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,524
So just pretend you're throwing right at the pins.
332
00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:17,238
Throw your hand at the pins.
333
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,243
Welcome to Team Homo.
334
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,545
Well...
335
00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:23,546
Debbie, you already have a full lineup.
336
00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:25,149
Yeah, well...
337
00:19:25,149 --> 00:19:28,152
we just lost a player.
338
00:19:28,152 --> 00:19:31,157
Emmett, you're off the team.
339
00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:33,660
Whatever happened to,
340
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:34,662
"It's not whether you win or lose,
341
00:19:34,662 --> 00:19:36,163
it's how you play the game"?
342
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:38,166
Well, it needs a rewrite.
343
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:40,970
Sorry, mom. He just got out of the hospital.
It's too soon.
344
00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:42,571
Michael,
345
00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:43,573
- I'm fine.
- Ah, yeah.
346
00:19:44,073 --> 00:19:46,076
And I would like you to stay that way.
347
00:19:46,076 --> 00:19:48,579
You shouldn't be doing anything physically strenuous.
348
00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:49,882
Hear that, professor?
349
00:19:49,882 --> 00:19:52,184
No more heavy butt action.
350
00:19:52,184 --> 00:19:53,186
Do you mind?
351
00:19:53,686 --> 00:19:54,287
Just looking after his health.
352
00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:55,789
For Christ's sake, Michael.
353
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,792
Would you stop being a mother hen?
That's my job.
354
00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:59,295
He says he feels fine.
355
00:19:59,295 --> 00:20:03,800
He's not bowling, and that's final.
356
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,103
Well,
357
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,604
I guess I'm on the team,
358
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:09,612
whether her majesty likes it or not.
359
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:18,420
I'm feeling good about this. Yes, I am.
360
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,422
We're good.
361
00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:21,425
Look who's here.
362
00:20:21,425 --> 00:20:23,929
Well, what are you, checking out the competition?
363
00:20:23,929 --> 00:20:25,931
Checking it out real closely.
364
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:27,934
- I like what I see. Hey, Vic.
- Hey.
365
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:29,937
Leave it to my sister
366
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,438
to get us into this.
367
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,440
Michael, cover your eyes.
368
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,942
Hey, you look like you need a drink.
369
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,443
For once, we can be alone.
370
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:39,449
Oh my... my kid's standing right there.
371
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,953
I just wanna give you a little kiss.
372
00:20:42,953 --> 00:20:44,956
How about we go out for a drink?
373
00:20:44,956 --> 00:20:46,758
I can't, I'm meeting with the guys. We're...
374
00:20:46,758 --> 00:20:49,262
we're strategizing for the game.
375
00:20:51,264 --> 00:20:53,267
Go ahead, I won't keep you.
376
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:56,774
Considering what an expert you are... at games.
377
00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:00,277
Pardon?
378
00:21:00,277 --> 00:21:01,778
Forget it.
379
00:21:01,778 --> 00:21:03,281
You can't just throw something
like that out there
380
00:21:03,281 --> 00:21:05,284
- and say, "Forget it".
- I'm a detective,
381
00:21:05,284 --> 00:21:06,786
I know how to read people.
382
00:21:06,786 --> 00:21:08,287
You're coming through loud and clear.
383
00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:10,298
Well, I wish you were.
384
00:21:16,098 --> 00:21:17,600
Every time I...
385
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,104
try to get a little friendly, you shoot me down.
386
00:21:20,605 --> 00:21:22,708
No, I mean I told you. It's just that...
387
00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:25,211
You can't desert your team.
388
00:21:25,711 --> 00:21:27,214
If it wasn't this,
389
00:21:27,214 --> 00:21:28,716
you'd be stuffing envelopes for P-Flag, or...
390
00:21:29,217 --> 00:21:32,220
marching for gay rights...
391
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:34,723
or some other excuse not to get close.
392
00:21:34,723 --> 00:21:38,229
That's bullshit.
393
00:21:38,229 --> 00:21:39,731
You don't even know me.
394
00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:41,742
Who do we have to thank for that?
395
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,649
You're making too big a deal.
396
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:57,153
Too big a deal. You practically died.
397
00:21:57,153 --> 00:21:58,655
Yeah, but I didn't, Michael.
398
00:21:58,655 --> 00:22:01,159
I am still here.
399
00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:03,162
Yeah.
400
00:22:03,663 --> 00:22:05,665
And I still wake up in the middle of the night
401
00:22:05,665 --> 00:22:07,668
and listen to you breathe.
402
00:22:07,668 --> 00:22:10,672
Just to be sure.
403
00:22:10,672 --> 00:22:14,677
I don't want anything else to happen to you.
404
00:22:14,677 --> 00:22:16,680
If it's that important,
405
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,683
you can bench my ass.
406
00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:20,686
Now stop worrying.
407
00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:23,189
I can't help it, I...
408
00:22:23,189 --> 00:22:26,194
I have the genes of an
Italian mother in my blood.
409
00:22:26,694 --> 00:22:30,699
So how come you can't cook?
410
00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:33,703
I worry about everybody. I worry about Vic,
411
00:22:33,703 --> 00:22:35,706
I worry about... Ted and Emmett,
412
00:22:35,706 --> 00:22:37,709
I worry about Brian and Justin...
413
00:22:37,709 --> 00:22:39,711
What is their problem? What...
414
00:22:39,711 --> 00:22:43,717
which hot trick they're going to fuck next?
415
00:22:44,219 --> 00:22:47,221
I saw... Justin kissing some guy.
416
00:22:47,221 --> 00:22:49,724
Michael, I kiss guys all the time.
417
00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:51,727
You do?
418
00:22:51,727 --> 00:22:53,230
Yeah, I kiss them hello,
419
00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,231
I kiss them goodbye, I...
420
00:22:54,231 --> 00:22:56,734
It wasn't that kind of a kiss.
421
00:23:06,247 --> 00:23:07,249
It was that kind of a kiss.
422
00:23:12,255 --> 00:23:14,758
Okay. Uh...
423
00:23:14,758 --> 00:23:16,761
Does, uh...
424
00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:19,766
Does... does he know that you saw him?
425
00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,768
I was across the street.
426
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,272
So do I tell Brian or not?
427
00:23:24,772 --> 00:23:26,775
Absolutely not.
428
00:23:26,775 --> 00:23:28,777
What, rule number two of gay etiquette:
429
00:23:28,777 --> 00:23:31,282
never tell your best friend that his
boyfriend is cheating on him?
430
00:23:31,782 --> 00:23:33,785
If you're wrong, he will be furious.
431
00:23:34,286 --> 00:23:35,288
And if I'm right?
432
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:37,790
He'll be even furiouser.
433
00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:40,794
So either way I lose.
434
00:23:42,797 --> 00:23:45,300
You're not going to lie here all night,
435
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,302
worrying.
436
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:50,807
I told you, it's genetic.
437
00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:08,412
It was incredible.
438
00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:09,914
The boys behaved themselves?
439
00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:12,418
"Misbehaved" is more like it.
440
00:25:12,418 --> 00:25:15,623
It was just what I needed.
I really got my groove back.
441
00:25:15,623 --> 00:25:16,623
Groovy.
442
00:25:16,623 --> 00:25:19,126
How can I ever thank you?
443
00:25:19,126 --> 00:25:21,631
You can't.
444
00:25:21,631 --> 00:25:23,334
Hey, what size does this come in?
445
00:25:23,334 --> 00:25:27,037
"Twink", "stud" and "bear".
446
00:25:27,037 --> 00:25:28,540
I... I'll take a "stud".
447
00:25:28,540 --> 00:25:30,042
I'll take two.
448
00:25:32,746 --> 00:25:34,748
By the way, aren't you forgetting something?
449
00:25:34,748 --> 00:25:35,959
Oh. Right.
450
00:25:53,773 --> 00:25:55,776
So what was that all about?
451
00:25:55,776 --> 00:25:57,778
And what were you doing with Brian's bracelet?
452
00:25:57,778 --> 00:25:59,280
Never mind.
453
00:25:59,781 --> 00:26:01,584
Teddy.
454
00:26:01,584 --> 00:26:03,587
Since when do we keep secrets?
455
00:26:03,587 --> 00:26:05,089
And since when do we share things with Brian
456
00:26:05,089 --> 00:26:13,100
that we do not share with me?
457
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,803
I borrowed it.
458
00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:18,306
Briefly.
459
00:26:18,808 --> 00:26:20,811
Along with his life.
460
00:26:21,311 --> 00:26:22,312
I just wanted to see what it was like...
461
00:26:22,312 --> 00:26:24,314
to be him.
462
00:26:24,314 --> 00:26:27,820
Dish.
463
00:26:43,942 --> 00:26:45,945
Hey, uh... hi.
464
00:26:45,945 --> 00:26:47,349
I... can get in?
465
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:52,653
Sorry.
466
00:26:54,355 --> 00:26:56,858
You guys are slippery.
467
00:26:56,858 --> 00:26:58,861
It was awful.
468
00:26:58,861 --> 00:27:01,365
Empty... meaningless.
469
00:27:01,365 --> 00:27:04,368
Well, you really were Brian.
470
00:27:04,368 --> 00:27:08,374
It was my all-time number one fantasy.
471
00:27:08,374 --> 00:27:11,379
Now that's gone, what do I have left?
472
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,382
Here. Try this on.
473
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,389
After a while, dreams wear thin.
474
00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:21,492
Kind of like this fabric.
475
00:27:21,993 --> 00:27:25,799
Then, you realize you need something more.
476
00:27:25,799 --> 00:27:27,802
I was hoping to find that with Luke.
477
00:27:27,802 --> 00:27:29,302
Yeah.
478
00:27:29,302 --> 00:27:30,805
He was a sweet boy.
479
00:27:31,305 --> 00:27:33,308
But, he couldn't accept you for who you are.
480
00:27:33,308 --> 00:27:35,817
Turn around.
481
00:27:39,817 --> 00:27:42,121
You'll find it with someone else.
482
00:27:42,121 --> 00:27:43,122
Yeah, right.
483
00:27:43,623 --> 00:27:48,530
Love comes at the strangest times
in the strangest ways.
484
00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:50,332
It'll happen for you.
485
00:27:50,332 --> 00:27:54,737
Just you wait and see.
486
00:27:54,737 --> 00:27:57,241
You are one handsome devil, Ted Schmidt.
487
00:27:58,241 --> 00:28:00,244
You know that?
488
00:28:07,254 --> 00:28:09,758
Ready?
489
00:28:09,758 --> 00:28:12,762
What do you think?
490
00:28:12,762 --> 00:28:14,766
Oh, my God.
491
00:28:15,766 --> 00:28:17,770
It's gorgeous.
492
00:28:19,270 --> 00:28:21,777
It's everything I dreamed of.
493
00:28:23,777 --> 00:28:26,886
Look at the way the sun pours
in through the skylight.
494
00:28:30,886 --> 00:28:32,995
The sink, it actually works!
495
00:28:37,495 --> 00:28:39,999
Time for a toast.
496
00:28:39,999 --> 00:28:40,992
To...
497
00:28:42,002 --> 00:28:44,104
making art.
498
00:28:44,605 --> 00:28:47,108
To making your friends happy,
499
00:28:47,108 --> 00:28:50,620
and to making love.
500
00:29:01,728 --> 00:29:03,731
Well, now that your work's done, I...
501
00:29:03,731 --> 00:29:06,534
guess you'll be moving on.
502
00:29:06,534 --> 00:29:09,537
I hate to see you go.
503
00:29:09,537 --> 00:29:13,543
Actually, I've been thinking.
504
00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:16,548
It wouldn't take much work
to turn your garage...
505
00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:19,551
into a nice little... guest quarters.
506
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:22,556
In case someone wanted to come for...
507
00:29:23,057 --> 00:29:25,559
a visit, or...
508
00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:27,562
even to stick around.
509
00:29:27,562 --> 00:29:31,568
In fact, you might want to consider...
510
00:29:31,568 --> 00:29:33,571
renting it out to...
511
00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:35,774
a special friend.
512
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,882
Leda, wait.
513
00:29:40,882 --> 00:29:43,384
What happened between us,
514
00:29:43,384 --> 00:29:46,890
meaningful as it may have been...
515
00:29:46,890 --> 00:29:49,895
was a one-time thing.
516
00:29:50,895 --> 00:29:53,398
But it's not something we wish to continue.
517
00:29:53,398 --> 00:29:56,402
Right, Leeds. So...
518
00:29:56,402 --> 00:29:58,905
thanks for everything.
519
00:29:58,905 --> 00:30:01,821
We've really loved having you here.
520
00:30:10,821 --> 00:30:16,328
I, uh, understand.
521
00:30:16,328 --> 00:30:18,832
Well, that's a... that's a relief.
522
00:30:18,832 --> 00:30:21,336
- We were worried you...
- First,
523
00:30:21,336 --> 00:30:24,339
I renovate your attic, and...
524
00:30:24,339 --> 00:30:29,347
then I renovate your sex life.
525
00:30:29,848 --> 00:30:31,350
And then it's...
526
00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:32,851
"So long, Leda"?
527
00:30:32,851 --> 00:30:33,853
That's not what we meant.
528
00:30:33,853 --> 00:30:36,873
That's how it sounded.
529
00:31:20,716 --> 00:31:23,119
I thought I'd find you here.
530
00:31:23,119 --> 00:31:26,223
Why aren't you at Ben's,
taking care of the invalid?
531
00:31:26,323 --> 00:31:30,529
He's doing great.
532
00:31:30,529 --> 00:31:33,633
Everybody can use a hand.
533
00:31:33,834 --> 00:31:35,436
Where's Justin?
534
00:31:35,436 --> 00:31:38,339
He's at home, doing a project.
535
00:31:38,841 --> 00:31:40,342
That's weird, 'cause I... I called your place
536
00:31:40,342 --> 00:31:42,445
and there was no answer.
537
00:31:42,445 --> 00:31:44,000
Well I guess he's not picking up,
538
00:31:44,248 --> 00:31:45,005
or maybe he went out.
539
00:31:45,951 --> 00:31:47,000
Don't you guys tell each other
540
00:31:47,002 --> 00:31:50,256
where you're going or what you're doing?
541
00:31:50,756 --> 00:31:53,862
- I'm just asking.
- It's not a psych ward.
542
00:31:53,862 --> 00:31:55,463
We don't have to sign out,
543
00:31:55,474 --> 00:31:57,466
or call in and report our whereabouts.
544
00:31:57,466 --> 00:31:59,969
We've even stopped wearing those homing devices.
545
00:32:00,069 --> 00:32:01,571
All right, all right, I...
546
00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:04,074
You're free to come and go as you please.
It's just...
547
00:32:04,074 --> 00:32:05,776
Don't you ever wonder, though, what he's doing
548
00:32:05,787 --> 00:32:07,479
when you're not around?
549
00:32:07,479 --> 00:32:09,382
I know what he's doing.
550
00:32:11,085 --> 00:32:13,787
And it doesn't bother you.
551
00:32:13,988 --> 00:32:15,490
He's 19, for Christ's sakes.
552
00:32:15,490 --> 00:32:16,592
When I was his age,
553
00:32:15,602 --> 00:32:18,494
I was out fucking everything that moved too.
554
00:32:18,494 --> 00:32:19,996
You still are.
555
00:32:23,701 --> 00:32:25,004
So why should I have a problem
556
00:32:25,014 --> 00:32:29,408
if the lad wants to have a little fun?
557
00:32:29,910 --> 00:32:31,913
Well, what if it was more than that?
558
00:32:31,913 --> 00:32:33,314
What if...
559
00:32:33,514 --> 00:32:39,924
What if what?
560
00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:46,432
What if...
561
00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:48,135
there was...
562
00:32:48,135 --> 00:32:49,136
someone else?
563
00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:50,638
Someone that he was seeing
564
00:32:50,638 --> 00:32:52,141
that you didn't know about?
565
00:32:52,141 --> 00:32:53,341
What if there was?
566
00:32:55,444 --> 00:32:57,447
You'd be okay with that too?
567
00:33:00,452 --> 00:33:02,353
He doesn't owe me anything.
568
00:33:09,263 --> 00:33:10,764
What about the truth?
569
00:33:53,723 --> 00:33:56,227
You find a place?
570
00:33:56,227 --> 00:33:58,230
Lucky Leda lands on her feet.
571
00:33:58,730 --> 00:34:00,232
Like you give a shit.
572
00:34:00,232 --> 00:34:01,734
As a matter of fact, I...
573
00:34:01,734 --> 00:34:03,736
I do. I feel terrible that, uh...
574
00:34:03,736 --> 00:34:05,338
That you've turned into a proper,
575
00:34:05,349 --> 00:34:07,844
dignified, hypocritical bitch?
576
00:34:09,844 --> 00:34:12,348
I was going to say that we hurt you...
577
00:34:12,348 --> 00:34:13,349
Well you can try
578
00:34:13,349 --> 00:34:15,152
to sweep what happened on your mattress
579
00:34:15,152 --> 00:34:18,156
under your mattress, but you don't fool me.
I was there.
580
00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:20,459
I'm not saying the sex wasn't great.
581
00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:21,460
That's not the problem.
582
00:34:21,471 --> 00:34:23,463
Frankly, I'm not interested in hearing
583
00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:29,671
about any more of your problems.
584
00:34:29,671 --> 00:34:33,176
Well... Linz and I, we're a...
585
00:34:33,176 --> 00:34:34,678
a couple.
586
00:34:34,678 --> 00:34:37,182
And that means there's no room in our life
587
00:34:37,182 --> 00:34:39,185
or our bed, for a third party
588
00:34:39,185 --> 00:34:45,193
no matter how much we may care for her.
589
00:34:45,293 --> 00:34:47,296
Being with you again was...
590
00:34:47,296 --> 00:34:49,298
was nice. It brought back a lot of memories.
591
00:34:49,298 --> 00:34:51,802
- Me too.
- And seeing you and Lindsay
592
00:34:51,802 --> 00:34:53,805
and how great you guys are together,
593
00:34:53,805 --> 00:34:56,810
I couldn't help wishing that somehow,
I could be a part of it.
594
00:34:56,810 --> 00:35:00,819
I didn't mean to horn in on your scene.
595
00:35:03,819 --> 00:35:05,320
It's just...
596
00:35:05,820 --> 00:35:07,823
you know, sometimes it, uh...
597
00:35:07,823 --> 00:35:09,831
it gets a little lonely.
598
00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:16,844
You're lucky, Mel. You know that?
599
00:35:23,344 --> 00:35:25,347
Well, maybe it's, uh...
600
00:35:25,347 --> 00:35:28,853
time you found someone of your own.
601
00:35:28,853 --> 00:35:38,856
I might just do that, babe.
602
00:35:32,356 --> 00:35:35,361
I might just do that.
603
00:35:35,361 --> 00:35:37,865
Well, I gotta get going.
604
00:35:38,365 --> 00:35:41,876
You give Lindsay a big, sloppy soul
kiss for me, would you?
605
00:35:46,276 --> 00:35:48,289
Will do.
606
00:35:57,291 --> 00:35:58,793
Be sure to drop a line.
607
00:35:59,294 --> 00:36:00,295
Let us know where you're at.
608
00:36:00,796 --> 00:36:02,833
Don't I always?
609
00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:29,333
Good, good, that's nice.
610
00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:30,936
Go, go, Lindsay,
611
00:36:30,936 --> 00:36:32,438
- go, Lindsay!
- Liberty Balls!
612
00:36:33,739 --> 00:36:35,342
No way she's gonna make a dime store split.
613
00:36:35,342 --> 00:36:36,644
She'll make it.
614
00:36:36,644 --> 00:36:38,146
Fat chance.
615
00:36:38,146 --> 00:36:39,147
That's what you think.
616
00:36:39,147 --> 00:36:39,948
Come on, come on, come on,
617
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:41,450
come on, come on, come on, come on.
618
00:36:44,956 --> 00:36:46,958
Will you shut the fuck up?
619
00:36:46,958 --> 00:36:48,059
Ooh.
620
00:36:50,363 --> 00:36:55,069
Thank you.
621
00:36:57,873 --> 00:36:58,474
Oh.
622
00:36:59,976 --> 00:37:00,477
Ouch.
623
00:37:00,978 --> 00:37:02,278
Shit.
624
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,284
"Some of the greatest bowlers are gay."
625
00:37:06,284 --> 00:37:07,286
Not in this bunch.
626
00:37:07,286 --> 00:37:09,688
It's not your fault, honey.
627
00:37:09,688 --> 00:37:11,190
He deliberately threw you off
628
00:37:11,190 --> 00:37:12,191
by making that noise.
629
00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:13,693
What noise?
630
00:37:13,693 --> 00:37:15,196
That thing you do with your throat.
631
00:37:15,196 --> 00:37:16,697
It's called breathing.
632
00:37:16,697 --> 00:37:18,200
Well, knock it off.
633
00:37:22,105 --> 00:37:24,008
All right, Carl. We need you, buddy.
634
00:37:24,008 --> 00:37:27,012
Well, this oughta be good.
635
00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:31,518
Go, baby.
636
00:37:31,518 --> 00:37:35,124
Good.
637
00:37:48,942 --> 00:37:52,947
It's called sneezing.
638
00:37:54,549 --> 00:37:55,551
Bless you.
639
00:37:58,956 --> 00:38:01,659
Well, we might as well kiss this game goodbye.
640
00:38:01,659 --> 00:38:03,661
You can save your kisses.
641
00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:05,664
We still got one frame left.
642
00:38:05,664 --> 00:38:06,466
Oh, good.
643
00:38:06,967 --> 00:38:07,969
Come on, Em, you can do it.
644
00:38:09,468 --> 00:38:11,471
You only need...
645
00:38:11,471 --> 00:38:12,473
three strikes in a row.
646
00:38:12,974 --> 00:38:14,576
Is that all? Three strikes. Okay.
647
00:38:15,077 --> 00:38:16,079
Oh, wrong one.
648
00:38:25,390 --> 00:38:27,793
Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow!
649
00:38:27,793 --> 00:38:29,696
Em, you okay?
650
00:38:29,696 --> 00:38:32,100
Oh, my God! Ow!
651
00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:33,901
Are you okay? Oh, my God.
652
00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:35,904
- I think I sprained my wrist.
- Let me see it.
653
00:38:35,904 --> 00:38:37,907
See how it's hanging there limp like that?
654
00:38:37,907 --> 00:38:42,714
Doesn't really look that much different to me.
655
00:38:42,714 --> 00:38:44,416
Ben.
656
00:38:44,917 --> 00:38:46,620
- Ben.
- Debbie, I'm sorry. I...
657
00:38:46,620 --> 00:38:51,126
I can't.
658
00:38:51,126 --> 00:38:54,130
It's okay. I understand.
659
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,133
Looks like it's over.
660
00:38:56,133 --> 00:38:58,635
What do you mean, you can't?
661
00:38:58,635 --> 00:39:02,041
What the hell kind of loser attitude is that?
662
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,533
- Michael, you said you didn't want...
- How do you feel?
663
00:39:04,544 --> 00:39:06,047
I feel fine.
664
00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:07,448
Then get out there.
665
00:39:07,448 --> 00:39:09,351
- And win one for...
- Yes!
666
00:39:09,351 --> 00:39:11,853
- ...queers everywhere.
- All right!
667
00:39:11,853 --> 00:39:15,258
All right, the Liberty Balls are making a substitution.
668
00:39:15,258 --> 00:39:17,461
Whoa! Wait a minute, he's not on the team.
669
00:39:17,461 --> 00:39:18,962
If they can do it in baseball,
670
00:39:18,962 --> 00:39:19,964
we can do it in bowling.
671
00:39:19,964 --> 00:39:21,567
Huh? What?
672
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:24,070
1968, The Pirates and The Reds?
673
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:26,073
The Pirates needed a pinch hitter.
674
00:39:26,073 --> 00:39:28,076
So they took Fernando Gutierrez
675
00:39:28,076 --> 00:39:29,578
off the injury list,
676
00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:31,080
which means he was not on the team
677
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,081
at the time,
678
00:39:32,581 --> 00:39:34,584
and they sent him in.
679
00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:35,586
I'm sure all you manly sports fans
680
00:39:35,597 --> 00:39:37,188
remember that one, hmm?
681
00:39:37,689 --> 00:39:38,690
She's got a point.
682
00:39:38,690 --> 00:39:40,292
- We don't even know he's gay.
- Yeah.
683
00:39:40,492 --> 00:39:43,496
Oh, come on.
684
00:39:43,496 --> 00:39:44,898
Oh, that'd be good.
685
00:39:44,898 --> 00:39:45,500
Okay,
686
00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:49,104
he qualifies. Let's bowl.
687
00:39:56,014 --> 00:39:59,017
Fascinating sports fact about Fernando Gutierrez.
688
00:39:59,017 --> 00:40:02,022
But since when does our mailman
play professional baseball?
689
00:40:02,022 --> 00:40:04,526
Shows you what straight guys know.
690
00:40:17,742 --> 00:40:18,846
Two more.
691
00:40:20,146 --> 00:40:23,450
Who's crying now.
692
00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:30,960
Holy shit.
693
00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:34,866
All right.
694
00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:36,368
One more, one more, Ben.
695
00:41:10,815 --> 00:41:12,217
All right.
696
00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:19,726
It's okay.
697
00:41:24,433 --> 00:41:25,434
One fucking pin.
698
00:41:27,437 --> 00:41:28,938
It's hardly a victory.
699
00:41:28,938 --> 00:41:30,941
Next year, we're gonna ream their asses.
700
00:41:30,941 --> 00:41:32,844
Let's stick to bowling, shall we?
701
00:41:50,469 --> 00:41:52,971
Em?
702
00:41:52,971 --> 00:41:53,972
I let the team down.
703
00:41:54,474 --> 00:41:57,578
No, you didn't.
704
00:41:58,078 --> 00:42:00,783
It's the spirit that matters, not the score.
705
00:42:00,783 --> 00:42:02,785
And,
706
00:42:02,785 --> 00:42:04,287
you had, by far,
707
00:42:04,287 --> 00:42:09,295
the most fabulous sports ensemble out there.
708
00:42:09,295 --> 00:42:11,297
- Really?
- Absolutely.
709
00:42:11,297 --> 00:42:12,799
The way you got the shoes
710
00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:14,301
to match the shirt...
711
00:42:14,802 --> 00:42:16,804
Inspired.
712
00:42:16,804 --> 00:42:18,806
Little pins sitting with the little ball,
713
00:42:19,307 --> 00:42:20,809
and there, and the piping...
714
00:42:20,809 --> 00:42:25,816
Okay, okay.
715
00:42:26,316 --> 00:42:27,318
You know something, Ted Schmidt?
716
00:42:27,818 --> 00:42:29,821
What?
717
00:42:29,821 --> 00:42:31,846
I love you.
718
00:42:47,746 --> 00:42:49,749
To the Liberty Balls!
719
00:42:49,749 --> 00:42:50,450
Long may they hang.
720
00:42:59,662 --> 00:43:02,165
Uh-huh, the victor.
721
00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:03,668
Come to gloat?
722
00:43:03,968 --> 00:43:06,472
Come to offer my congratulations.
723
00:43:06,472 --> 00:43:07,973
Why? Your team won.
724
00:43:08,474 --> 00:43:09,475
Not by much.
725
00:43:11,478 --> 00:43:12,480
You guys were great.
726
00:43:12,980 --> 00:43:14,986
- Oh, thanks.
- Thanks, Carl.
727
00:43:17,786 --> 00:43:19,794
Hey, Horvath?
728
00:43:23,794 --> 00:43:26,801
Doesn't the winner buy the loser a drink?
729
00:43:28,801 --> 00:43:33,306
Don't flatter yourself.
Nobody here's interested in you.
730
00:43:33,306 --> 00:43:34,809
Except me.
731
00:43:41,317 --> 00:43:43,320
Oh my, oh... oh... okay, okay.
732
00:43:53,835 --> 00:43:56,840
A straight kiss at Woody's.
733
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,842
That's gotta be a first.
734
00:43:58,842 --> 00:44:00,845
I guess people really do find love
735
00:44:00,845 --> 00:44:02,848
in the strangest places.
736
00:44:02,848 --> 00:44:05,841
What about you, Teddy? You, uh...
you see anybody here
737
00:44:05,851 --> 00:44:07,854
makes your heart go pitter-pat?
738
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:11,359
- Well, maybe.
- Yeah? Who? Who?
739
00:44:11,359 --> 00:44:13,365
It's too soon to tell.
740
00:44:16,065 --> 00:44:18,569
I'm going to pretend I didn't just see my mother
741
00:44:18,569 --> 00:44:21,072
sticking her tongue down Horvath's throat.
742
00:44:21,272 --> 00:44:23,274
While you're at it, pretend she
won't be blowing him later
743
00:44:23,274 --> 00:44:25,484
in the back of his patrol car.
744
00:44:29,484 --> 00:44:33,288
It's too bad Justin couldn't be here tonight.
745
00:44:33,789 --> 00:44:35,792
I'm out of here.
746
00:44:53,616 --> 00:44:55,622
You told him, didn't you?
747
00:44:58,122 --> 00:45:01,233
He didn't seem to care.
748
00:45:19,752 --> 00:45:22,254
Jesus, Brian.
749
00:45:22,755 --> 00:45:23,756
I thought you were bowling.
750
00:45:23,756 --> 00:45:25,759
Game's over.
751
00:45:25,759 --> 00:45:27,261
How'd we do?
752
00:45:27,261 --> 00:45:29,263
Three cheers to the winners.
753
00:45:29,263 --> 00:45:32,769
Way to go.
754
00:45:33,770 --> 00:45:39,077
- It wasn't us.
- Oh.
755
00:45:39,077 --> 00:45:40,580
Where're you going?
756
00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:42,181
Taking a shower.
757
00:45:42,683 --> 00:45:45,186
You sure are taking a lot of showers lately.
758
00:45:45,186 --> 00:45:48,690
Come here.
759
00:45:48,690 --> 00:45:50,693
Later.
760
00:45:50,693 --> 00:45:52,295
- Now.
- Can't we please do this
761
00:45:52,295 --> 00:45:55,299
after I shower?
762
00:45:55,299 --> 00:45:58,804
I like smelling you.
763
00:45:58,804 --> 00:45:59,806
Not soap.
764
00:47:26,621 --> 00:47:28,124
- You like that?
- Yes.
765
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,924
Why did you stop?
766
00:47:46,524 --> 00:47:48,524
Brian?
767
00:47:51,524 --> 00:47:55,524
Go take a shower. You stink.
51507
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