Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:43,379
- To Judge Bruce.
- And Dr. Bobby.
2
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:44,382
Congratulations!
3
00:00:44,382 --> 00:00:47,352
10 years of fidelity.
4
00:00:47,352 --> 00:00:49,306
Happy anniversary.
5
00:00:49,306 --> 00:00:50,257
Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.
6
00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:51,760
Where's Jamie?
7
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,211
He said he's stuck in surgery.
8
00:00:53,211 --> 00:00:55,699
I'm sure he's operating...
9
00:00:55,699 --> 00:00:56,701
with some boy.
10
00:00:56,701 --> 00:00:58,669
Or at Club Sodom.
11
00:00:58,669 --> 00:01:00,155
That awful place?
12
00:01:00,155 --> 00:01:01,658
Where they dance
13
00:01:01,658 --> 00:01:03,143
and take drugs.
14
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:06,514
And have sex.
15
00:01:06,515 --> 00:01:07,517
So I've heard.
16
00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:09,469
It's a shame Jamie's allowed himself
17
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,972
to become a stereotype,
18
00:01:10,972 --> 00:01:12,892
instead of a role model for the community.
19
00:01:12,892 --> 00:01:15,345
Right. Hopefully one day he'll come
to his senses and...
20
00:01:15,349 --> 00:01:17,348
And realize that his... his time could spent
21
00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,268
in so many more productive ways.
22
00:01:19,268 --> 00:01:21,771
Like joining our gay men's reading group.
23
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:22,723
Yes.
24
00:01:22,723 --> 00:01:25,727
Last week, we read Sylvia Plath.
25
00:01:25,727 --> 00:01:26,729
Oh.
26
00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:28,231
And this week...
27
00:01:28,231 --> 00:01:29,165
Jane Austen.
28
00:01:31,619 --> 00:01:34,124
That's the best anniversary gift
we've ever received.
29
00:01:37,061 --> 00:01:39,532
"Gay as Blazes" will be right back.
30
00:01:40,032 --> 00:01:41,535
Blaze this.
31
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,037
Brian!
32
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,506
What did you do that for? Come on.
33
00:01:44,506 --> 00:01:45,507
You want me to chuck my beer?
34
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:46,943
That's my favourite new show.
35
00:01:46,943 --> 00:01:48,445
The actors are dreamy.
36
00:01:48,445 --> 00:01:50,331
And "The Times" says it's the most
honest look
37
00:01:50,331 --> 00:01:51,833
at gay life ever portrayed on television.
38
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,335
Well then, where's the sucking?
39
00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:54,838
- And where's the fucking?
- Jesus,
40
00:01:54,838 --> 00:01:57,759
- don't you get enough of that at home?
- The whole point of G.A.B.
41
00:01:57,759 --> 00:02:00,263
is that it's not all about sex.
42
00:02:00,263 --> 00:02:01,765
There's more to gay life than that.
43
00:02:02,266 --> 00:02:05,638
Like, reading Sylvia Plath.
44
00:02:05,638 --> 00:02:07,140
I'd sooner kill myself.
45
00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,592
These characters have principles.
46
00:02:08,592 --> 00:02:10,094
When you have principles,
47
00:02:10,094 --> 00:02:11,597
you don't need orgasms.
48
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:15,101
You have principles when you don't have orgasms.
49
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,088
I, for one, commend the writers and the producers
50
00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:19,492
for portraying us as mature and responsible.
51
00:02:19,591 --> 00:02:22,029
Instead of being promiscuous and narcissistic.
52
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:24,533
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
53
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:25,952
Oh, I wish they'd bring that back.
54
00:02:25,952 --> 00:02:27,937
Even you have to admit,
55
00:02:27,938 --> 00:02:29,424
it's important that the straight world
56
00:02:29,424 --> 00:02:30,925
sees realistic portrayals of us.
57
00:02:30,925 --> 00:02:32,928
You call that realistic?
58
00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:34,432
And who gives a flying fuck
59
00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:35,833
what straight people think?
60
00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:36,868
Hey, you better watch your mouth
61
00:02:37,369 --> 00:02:39,856
now that you're getting the Hero Award from the Centre.
62
00:02:39,856 --> 00:02:40,841
I didn't do anything.
63
00:02:41,342 --> 00:02:44,230
You saved Justin's life.
64
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,731
They can keep their golden dildo.
65
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:47,117
Hey, hey, hey, I expect you
66
00:02:47,117 --> 00:02:50,105
to be at the Awards Dinner Sunday night.
67
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,108
- Actually...
- Thanks.
68
00:02:52,108 --> 00:02:54,045
- Sunday? Darn!
- One for you.
69
00:02:54,495 --> 00:02:58,000
It's Suck-O-Rama at the tool shed.
70
00:02:58,451 --> 00:03:02,407
Oh... very mature, Brian.
71
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:03,408
Yes, there he goes,
72
00:03:03,408 --> 00:03:07,832
our hero.
73
00:03:07,832 --> 00:03:09,301
We now return to "Gay as Blazes".
74
00:03:09,785 --> 00:03:11,659
Oh... shh!
75
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,097
Ow, ow. Hurting, hurting.
76
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,099
Did the munchers send you
77
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,102
to make sure I didn't misbehave?
78
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,606
No. I thought we could misbehave together.
79
00:03:23,606 --> 00:03:26,109
I can't. I gotta get back.
80
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:28,112
Christ, don't tell me you're actually becoming
81
00:03:28,112 --> 00:03:30,015
a good example for gay men everywhere.
82
00:03:30,015 --> 00:03:33,471
No, I'll leave that to "Gay as Blazes".
83
00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:34,972
Justin still gets kind of freaky
84
00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,477
- when he's on his own too long.
- Oh, right.
85
00:03:37,477 --> 00:03:39,930
Well, what about tomorrow?
86
00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:41,933
Oh, slave tags?
87
00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:42,934
Kinky.
88
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:44,938
They're two uberpasses to Comicon.
89
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:46,441
Priority access to all events,
90
00:03:46,441 --> 00:03:48,944
a complete comic book overload!
91
00:03:48,944 --> 00:03:50,446
One for me and one for you.
92
00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:51,881
Whoa, dude!
93
00:03:52,382 --> 00:03:53,884
The kids at school will, like, puke.
94
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:55,387
They'll be, like, so jealous.
95
00:03:55,387 --> 00:03:56,856
I'll take that as a no.
96
00:03:56,856 --> 00:04:00,360
I'd run away screaming, but it's been a long day.
97
00:04:01,364 --> 00:04:02,365
All right. Well, sure. Okay.
98
00:04:02,865 --> 00:04:03,867
I'll see you around sometime.
99
00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:06,304
The sulking gives you jowls, it's not attractive.
100
00:04:06,304 --> 00:04:09,809
It's just, we haven't hooked up since I got back.
101
00:04:09,809 --> 00:04:13,314
I thought this would be a chance, that's all.
102
00:04:13,314 --> 00:04:16,268
What time tomorrow?
103
00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:19,774
6:00. Marriott downtown.
104
00:04:19,774 --> 00:04:22,293
I'll meet you out front.
105
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,296
You're going and that's final.
106
00:04:34,296 --> 00:04:35,798
The fuck I am.
107
00:04:36,299 --> 00:04:37,801
Where the hell are my goddamn car keys?
108
00:04:38,302 --> 00:04:40,305
And don't think that you can make me
change my mind
109
00:04:40,305 --> 00:04:41,741
by inducing a sugar high
110
00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:43,242
with a cheap bag of doughnuts.
111
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,680
God, the ones with the sprinkles are good.
112
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,616
Come to daddy.
113
00:04:47,616 --> 00:04:48,618
Come on, sonny-boy.
114
00:04:49,118 --> 00:04:50,120
We went to a lot of trouble to get them
115
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,589
to give you that award.
116
00:04:51,589 --> 00:04:54,058
Well tell them to give it to someone
that needs their approval.
117
00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:56,013
But it's not about approval.
118
00:04:56,013 --> 00:04:58,016
It's about honouring your bravery, your courage.
119
00:04:58,016 --> 00:04:59,501
Hey, hon?
120
00:04:59,501 --> 00:05:00,486
Do you want to try one of the crullers?
121
00:05:00,486 --> 00:05:03,457
No. I know I left them... right here.
122
00:05:03,457 --> 00:05:05,393
It's about the $300
123
00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:06,829
a plate they're charging.
124
00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:09,282
It's to raise money for a new daycare programme
125
00:05:09,282 --> 00:05:11,769
which, please God, Gus will benefit from.
126
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,773
Did you hear that?
127
00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:14,774
Daycare.
128
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:15,776
Hey, this may be a joke to you,
129
00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:16,777
but this is important.
130
00:05:17,277 --> 00:05:19,280
Not just to the community, but to Mel and me.
131
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,699
It's our first year on the committee.
132
00:05:20,699 --> 00:05:24,105
I'm sorry to fuck with your social climbing.
133
00:05:24,105 --> 00:05:26,091
You little shit!
134
00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:27,594
- Look. Honey...
- I can't believe that!
135
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,595
That's enough sugar.
136
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,047
Come on, Brian.
137
00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:31,049
You can't blow off an evening in your honour.
138
00:05:32,551 --> 00:05:34,008
Stand up.
139
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,011
Listen to me, Mister.
140
00:05:39,495 --> 00:05:41,447
You will show up at the ceremony.
141
00:05:41,447 --> 00:05:43,451
You will check your pissy attitude at the door,
142
00:05:43,451 --> 00:05:45,954
and you will behave in a manner
befitting a hero.
143
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,457
Or at least, like you appreciate
144
00:05:47,957 --> 00:05:49,960
all the love, and support, and hard work
145
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,466
your fucking friends have gone to
on your fucking behalf.
146
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:57,438
- Got it?
- I got it.
147
00:05:57,438 --> 00:05:58,439
Oh, my God.
148
00:05:58,439 --> 00:06:00,427
What, you found your keys?
149
00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:06,318
Oh, my God!
150
00:06:08,322 --> 00:06:09,823
Sonny-boy.
151
00:06:12,744 --> 00:06:16,233
Come to daddy.
152
00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:18,236
Fuck! Did you see this?
153
00:06:18,236 --> 00:06:21,241
"The Wolf in Hero's Clothing" by Howard Bellweather?
154
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:22,743
"Is there anyone less deserving
155
00:06:22,743 --> 00:06:25,747
of this year's Gay and Lesbian Centre's
Outstanding Award
156
00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:28,686
for heroism, than Brian Kinney?"
157
00:06:28,686 --> 00:06:30,689
"Mr. Kinney is a miserable example
158
00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:32,625
of a modern gay stereotype..."
159
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,563
"Totally promiscuous, completely vain..."
160
00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:37,566
Well, he's not wrong on that count.
161
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:41,038
"He can be found nightly in back rooms
and sex clubs."
162
00:06:41,038 --> 00:06:43,542
"As for the young man he rescued from a violent assault,
163
00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:47,014
he is, in fact, his 18-year-old teenage lover."
164
00:06:47,014 --> 00:06:48,915
- "So while we're led to believe...
- Is that you?
165
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,352
he is a hero, the truth is..."
166
00:06:50,352 --> 00:06:51,821
"He's a pedophile..."
167
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:53,272
"Deserving not our honour..."
168
00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:54,741
"But our contempt"?
169
00:06:54,741 --> 00:06:56,177
Who in the fuck
170
00:06:56,177 --> 00:06:57,663
is this Howard Bedwetter?
171
00:06:57,663 --> 00:07:00,116
Howard Bellweather happens to be
172
00:07:00,116 --> 00:07:02,119
the gay social conscience of Pittsburgh.
173
00:07:02,119 --> 00:07:04,056
I always listen to his radio show.
174
00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,525
I've read every word he's ever written.
175
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,531
Congratulations.
176
00:07:09,531 --> 00:07:12,536
The Centre's giving him their
Outstanding Gay Advocate Award.
177
00:07:12,536 --> 00:07:15,990
Yeah well, they oughta give him their
Outstanding Gay Asshole Award.
178
00:07:15,994 --> 00:07:17,426
I'm suing the motherfucker.
179
00:07:17,426 --> 00:07:18,427
Take it easy, Brian.
180
00:07:18,427 --> 00:07:21,850
He said I'm 31.
181
00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:23,802
I'm 30.
182
00:07:23,802 --> 00:07:25,755
Is that all you care about?
183
00:07:25,755 --> 00:07:27,758
He practically called you a child molester.
184
00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:31,769
Well, who should know better than... you?
185
00:07:35,269 --> 00:07:41,228
Don't forget, Comicon tonight, 6:00 pm.
186
00:08:04,063 --> 00:08:05,566
- Yes?
- Hi, I, uh...
187
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:07,068
I'm Emmett.
188
00:08:07,068 --> 00:08:10,073
- The agency sent me.
- The new maid.
189
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,073
I'm Blaine.
190
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,577
Please, come in.
191
00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:22,091
Sweetheart?
192
00:08:22,091 --> 00:08:26,046
- Oh.
- This is my life partner, Blair.
193
00:08:26,046 --> 00:08:27,550
Oh my God!
194
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,552
You guys are just like Bobby and Bruce.
195
00:08:30,036 --> 00:08:31,004
Who?
196
00:08:31,004 --> 00:08:34,350
You know, "Gay as Blazes".
197
00:08:34,359 --> 00:08:35,828
The TV show?
198
00:08:35,828 --> 00:08:38,282
Oh! We don't watch television.
199
00:08:38,282 --> 00:08:40,218
I'm usually pouring over medical journals.
200
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:41,654
And I'm preparing legal briefs.
201
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,990
Uh! So wait. So wait. You're a judge,
202
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,092
and you're a surgeon?
203
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,061
- Uh, lawyer.
- Dentist.
204
00:08:47,061 --> 00:08:49,060
Next thing, you'll be telling me
205
00:08:49,065 --> 00:08:50,066
You been together for 10 years...
206
00:08:50,066 --> 00:08:51,034
11.
207
00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:53,905
And that you never fuck around!
208
00:08:54,456 --> 00:08:55,457
Oh, um... sorry.
209
00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:57,911
We believe that monogamy
210
00:08:57,911 --> 00:09:00,916
is the foundation of a solid relationship.
211
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,420
- Don't we, sweetheart?
- Absolutely.
212
00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:04,906
Oh, that's...
213
00:09:04,906 --> 00:09:06,909
that's so inspiring.
214
00:09:06,909 --> 00:09:08,410
Um...
215
00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:09,913
it's going to be a real privilege to, uh...
216
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:13,368
to work for two distinguished gentlemen
like yourselves.
217
00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:15,271
So...
218
00:09:15,271 --> 00:09:16,272
where would you like me to start?
219
00:09:16,272 --> 00:09:18,242
Wait! Wait!
220
00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:20,695
What? I'm... I'm a naked maid.
Didn't they...
221
00:09:20,695 --> 00:09:21,697
tell you, the agency?
222
00:09:21,697 --> 00:09:24,202
Yes, but, um, that won't be necessary.
223
00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:25,703
You see,
224
00:09:25,703 --> 00:09:27,640
even though some members of our community
225
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,144
find it titillating to sexualize
even domestic work,
226
00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:32,146
we prefer you keep your pants on.
227
00:09:32,146 --> 00:09:34,600
We'll pay you the same fee, of course.
228
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,104
It's just our small way of bringing a little dignity
229
00:09:37,104 --> 00:09:37,605
to our community.
230
00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:39,524
Our last maid got a PH.D.
231
00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:42,429
Really? Huh!
232
00:09:42,429 --> 00:09:44,899
Well, if it's not one communicable disease,
it's another.
233
00:09:44,899 --> 00:09:47,853
So, um...
234
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,860
so, ah, which way is the designer kitchen?
235
00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,864
This way.
236
00:11:18,357 --> 00:11:20,293
Do you think sex will be this good
after we're married?
237
00:11:20,778 --> 00:11:21,746
No.
238
00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:23,749
That's why we have to have as...
239
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,719
much as we can now.
240
00:11:32,161 --> 00:11:33,614
Fuck me.
241
00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:54,679
Ah, shit.
242
00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,631
Who is that?
243
00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:01,105
Coming.
244
00:12:01,105 --> 00:12:02,508
The vibrator!
245
00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:03,492
Huh? Oh.
246
00:12:03,492 --> 00:12:04,910
Catch it.
247
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,403
Tannis... Phillip,
248
00:12:10,403 --> 00:12:11,904
- what a surprise.
- Shit. Shit!
249
00:12:11,904 --> 00:12:13,892
The awards committee is in crisis.
250
00:12:13,892 --> 00:12:15,861
We have to talk.
251
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,313
Honey, you'll never guess who's here.
252
00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:18,815
Oh, Tannis! Philip!
253
00:12:18,815 --> 00:12:22,322
What a surprise, have a seat.
254
00:12:27,294 --> 00:12:29,297
So, you were saying we have a problem?
255
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,755
Have you read Howard Bellweather's article?
256
00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:35,758
If our corporate sponsors
257
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:37,726
hear that we're giving Brian Kinney an award,
258
00:12:37,726 --> 00:12:38,728
they will cut us off.
259
00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,233
We'll lose our support, our funding...
260
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:43,236
Do you hear a buzzing?
261
00:12:43,736 --> 00:12:47,241
Oh no, I... uh, the baby monitor's on the fritz.
262
00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:50,731
Sounds like it's coming from...
263
00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:53,234
Oh! God!
264
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:54,236
- Oh.
- Ew!
265
00:12:54,236 --> 00:12:56,239
There it is.
266
00:12:56,239 --> 00:12:59,160
Did you know, um...
267
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,662
vibration in the soil
268
00:13:00,662 --> 00:13:03,116
produces ionization, which in turn,
269
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,570
stimulates growth, causing the petals to open?
270
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:06,571
It's...
271
00:13:07,072 --> 00:13:08,508
this is a completely unfair
272
00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:12,012
and dishonest attack.
Justin Taylor's a college student.
273
00:13:12,012 --> 00:13:13,014
Uh... their relationship
274
00:13:13,014 --> 00:13:15,017
is legal, consensual and very loving.
275
00:13:15,017 --> 00:13:17,404
Besides, the award is for Brian's courage,
276
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:18,907
not his sexual conduct.
277
00:13:18,907 --> 00:13:20,909
Tell that to our benefactors.
278
00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:22,912
The scent of a scandal could send them packing,
279
00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,915
along with their clutch purses.
280
00:13:24,915 --> 00:13:26,418
That is why you two
281
00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:28,921
have got to get Kinney to decline it.
282
00:13:28,921 --> 00:13:31,359
Do you have any idea what we had to go through
283
00:13:31,359 --> 00:13:32,861
to get him to accept it?
284
00:13:32,861 --> 00:13:36,770
Well then, it shouldn't be a problem, should it?
285
00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:42,775
Oh.
286
00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:44,228
He stood me up.
287
00:13:44,228 --> 00:13:45,730
No!
288
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:46,732
He promised he'd be there.
289
00:13:46,732 --> 00:13:48,585
I bought uber passes and everything.
290
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,237
Well, I hate to say this, Michael,
291
00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:52,273
but maybe you and he are...
292
00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:53,926
drifting apart.
293
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,479
Honey, it happens to the closest of friends.
294
00:13:56,479 --> 00:13:58,583
So, how about coming...
295
00:13:58,583 --> 00:13:59,819
with me
296
00:13:59,819 --> 00:14:01,487
to the Bellweather book signing?
297
00:14:01,888 --> 00:14:03,691
After what he wrote about Brian?
298
00:14:03,691 --> 00:14:05,410
Brian's hardly a hero.
299
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,430
God, Teddy! When did you become such a prude?
300
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,149
Since he lost his job, whacking off.
301
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,669
I'm not a prude. And I wasn't whack...
302
00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:12,471
I... just... I...
303
00:14:12,871 --> 00:14:14,474
I happen to think he might have a point.
304
00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:16,937
Well, I don't think any of us are in a position to judge,
305
00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:18,179
considering some of the things that we've done.
306
00:14:18,179 --> 00:14:19,681
I have nothing to be ashamed of.
307
00:14:19,782 --> 00:14:21,217
Oh, I could remind you of a few.
308
00:14:21,217 --> 00:14:23,287
Gotta go!
309
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:26,157
Yep, me too. I'm ironing my boss' pants.
310
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,562
Aren't you the one that's supposed to be bare-assed?
311
00:14:28,562 --> 00:14:29,546
I'll have you know
312
00:14:29,546 --> 00:14:31,383
they prefer me to keep my clothes on.
313
00:14:31,383 --> 00:14:32,885
Are you sure they're gay?
314
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:34,838
Ah, not only are they gay,
315
00:14:34,838 --> 00:14:36,841
they're the most decent people I've ever met.
316
00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:40,613
So the next time you see Brian, if you ever do,
317
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,216
you can tell him he's wrong.
318
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,619
Those people on "Gay as Blazes" do exist.
319
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,053
- Hey.
- Oh! Huh, hi.
320
00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:57,556
Ah, Blaine called.
321
00:14:57,556 --> 00:15:00,059
He's, uh, doing some extra pro bono work
322
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:02,563
at the gay homeless shelter
323
00:15:02,563 --> 00:15:06,002
and you're due at the
gay Harvard Graduates' Luncheon.
324
00:15:06,002 --> 00:15:10,009
I'll have this done in a... in a jiff.
325
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,012
You're doing a wonderful job, Emmett.
326
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,513
Thank you.
327
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,016
It's just, well...
328
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:16,518
seeing you two has...
329
00:15:16,518 --> 00:15:18,521
has really inspired me to, uh,
330
00:15:18,521 --> 00:15:22,526
to strive, to achieve, to better myself.
331
00:15:23,028 --> 00:15:24,030
That's a great compliment.
332
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,533
Well, if there's anything else I can do,
333
00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:29,038
- You let me know.
- Okay.
334
00:15:29,038 --> 00:15:30,522
Oh, for Pete sake!
335
00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:34,980
Let me.
336
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,982
Oops! Dropped your towel.
337
00:15:36,982 --> 00:15:38,919
Yeah, darn. I know.
338
00:15:38,919 --> 00:15:41,304
Do you think you could get that for me?
339
00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:54,809
I'm really grateful.
340
00:15:54,809 --> 00:12:58,229
I... I see that.
340
00:16:08,229 --> 00:16:09,231
Oh... oh sorry.
341
00:16:09,731 --> 00:16:13,430
It's okay. Don't worry about it.
342
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,433
Keep it up, sunshine.
343
00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:23,436
The good work, that is.
344
00:16:23,436 --> 00:16:24,404
Isn't he something?
345
00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:26,891
Mm, mother's little helper.
346
00:16:26,891 --> 00:16:28,777
Mother's little helper is valium.
347
00:16:28,877 --> 00:16:29,828
Huh?
348
00:16:30,296 --> 00:16:32,299
It's a drug reference from a Rolling Stones song.
349
00:16:32,299 --> 00:16:34,236
I know the song, thank you.
350
00:16:34,236 --> 00:16:36,239
I was listening to it before you were fucking born.
351
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:39,092
Ancient history.
352
00:16:42,531 --> 00:16:46,538
Okay, what'd he do this time?
353
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:47,989
Who?
354
00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:51,833
"Who". Is there anyone else?
355
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,337
He was supposed to meet me at the Comic Convention and...
356
00:16:57,337 --> 00:17:00,726
I'm biting my tongue so hard I'm tasting blood.
357
00:17:00,726 --> 00:17:03,654
So just say it, you will anyway.
358
00:17:09,155 --> 00:17:10,157
Why must your happiness
359
00:17:10,157 --> 00:17:12,660
always depend on someone else?
360
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,648
First Brian, then David. Now back to Brian.
361
00:17:15,648 --> 00:17:18,519
- You finished?
- I haven't even started.
362
00:17:19,019 --> 00:17:20,021
If you came back here 'cause you thought
363
00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,024
Brian was missing you as bad
as you were missing him,
364
00:17:22,024 --> 00:17:23,527
you fucked up big time.
365
00:17:23,527 --> 00:17:24,979
That's not why I came back.
366
00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:27,350
He has a life of his own.
367
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:31,222
Which is more than I can say about you.
368
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,724
And even though you're not gonna
like me saying this...
369
00:17:32,724 --> 00:17:36,663
I'm sure of that.
370
00:17:36,663 --> 00:17:40,053
I think he actually might love this kid.
371
00:17:41,053 --> 00:17:42,539
As much as he can.
372
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:45,928
That doesn't matter.
373
00:17:45,928 --> 00:17:46,912
We're still friends.
374
00:17:46,912 --> 00:17:50,918
At least I thought we were.
375
00:17:50,918 --> 00:18:00,349
That wasn't supposed to change.
376
00:18:00,349 --> 00:18:02,786
Well, one minute I'm starching his collar,
377
00:18:03,286 --> 00:18:05,791
the next minute I'm sucking his cock.
378
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:08,795
Single-handedly I've destroyed
11 years of fidelity.
379
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:09,796
That's what I've done.
380
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,299
I'm scum.
381
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,801
No, I'm worse than scum.
382
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:15,305
Uh, what's worse than scum?
383
00:18:15,305 --> 00:18:16,807
We've all been around long enough to know
384
00:18:16,807 --> 00:18:18,811
that nobody does anything
they don't want to do.
385
00:18:18,811 --> 00:18:20,312
This Blair sounds like no angel.
386
00:18:20,312 --> 00:18:24,318
He was. Now he's fallen.
387
00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:27,323
Oh, I'm... I'm the snake in the Garden of Eden,
388
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,326
- that's what I am.
- Stop blaming yourself!
389
00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:31,329
No, start blaming yourself.
390
00:18:31,329 --> 00:18:32,331
You know, it wouldn't have happened
391
00:18:32,832 --> 00:18:33,833
if you could keep your mind off of sex
392
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,836
long enough to think about something else.
393
00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:37,789
Like what?
394
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,792
Like going to a museum.
395
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:42,213
Or reading a book.
396
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:43,214
A book?
397
00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:46,218
Yeah, it's got pages. Little...
398
00:18:46,218 --> 00:18:48,221
words on it. You know, cover.
399
00:18:48,221 --> 00:18:50,725
Allegedly it improves the mind and... oh!
400
00:18:50,725 --> 00:18:52,728
Hey, here, they happen to sell them right here.
401
00:18:52,728 --> 00:18:54,231
Anybody care to join me?
402
00:18:54,731 --> 00:18:58,737
No. You keep your hero,
I'll stick to Captain Astro.
403
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,692
Oh, my God. I've got to go make dinner
404
00:19:01,695 --> 00:19:04,196
for Blaine and Blair.
405
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,164
How am I going to face them?
What am I going to say?
406
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:09,671
Don't say anything.
407
00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:15,663
And for God's sake, don't let it happen again.
408
00:19:21,038 --> 00:19:23,542
Ow. Sorry.
409
00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:25,511
It's okay. Want to go back?
410
00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:26,980
No.
411
00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:30,418
- Sure?
- Yeah.
412
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:32,823
Look, no hands.
413
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,276
Hey! Fucker.
414
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,711
It's okay, it's okay. It's okay.
415
00:19:36,711 --> 00:19:40,217
It's okay. It's just an accident.
416
00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:43,620
Don't let it throw you.
417
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:57,092
Thank you.
418
00:19:57,092 --> 00:20:01,599
Mr. Bellweather, I am so, so validated
419
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:05,104
by what you write. You are a font
420
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,059
of inspiration and wisdom.
421
00:20:08,059 --> 00:20:11,597
A font? Well, how kind.
422
00:20:11,597 --> 00:20:12,599
And you are?
423
00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:17,474
- I'm Ted.
- Yeah?
424
00:20:17,474 --> 00:20:20,479
Uh, Ted, uh, Ted Schmidt.
425
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:23,432
Uh, it's, uh, S-C-H-M...
426
00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:24,433
Sign this.
427
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,903
"To Brian Kinney,
428
00:20:25,913 --> 00:20:28,841
please accept my apologies
for what I wrote about you.
429
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,793
I'm a sucking sack of shit.
430
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,296
Love and luck, Howie."
431
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:33,247
Oh, God.
432
00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:34,198
I take it you are...
433
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,603
His teenage lover.
434
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,071
Well.
435
00:20:38,091 --> 00:20:41,426
It's a pleasure to meet such a bright,
brave young man.
436
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:42,929
If anyone deserves an award for heroism, it's you.
437
00:20:43,429 --> 00:20:44,932
You had no right to say those things.
438
00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:46,868
On the contrary, it was my obligation.
439
00:20:46,868 --> 00:20:48,820
He saved my life.
440
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,209
He's also stolen part of it.
441
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:53,194
Your innocence,
442
00:20:53,678 --> 00:20:56,064
your youth.
443
00:20:56,064 --> 00:21:00,454
One day you'll see he's hurt you
as much as your attacker.
444
00:21:01,907 --> 00:21:07,398
Come on, Brian.
445
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,335
By the way...
446
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,338
I'm 30.
447
00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:22,688
Thank you, that's great.
448
00:21:22,688 --> 00:21:25,660
Emmett?
449
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,646
You didn't tell me.
450
00:21:28,147 --> 00:21:29,149
Tell you what?
451
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:34,122
That you could cook.
452
00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:36,125
Smells fantastic.
453
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:40,131
Oh, it's... just a littlesauce piquante.
454
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:42,134
For the fish.
455
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,090
Blair will be sorry he missed this.
456
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:49,095
He's, uh... he's not here?
457
00:21:49,095 --> 00:21:50,597
It's his night to read
458
00:21:50,597 --> 00:21:54,603
to the visually impaired gay seniors group.
459
00:21:54,603 --> 00:21:59,611
Well, I'll just, uh, I'll just set the table for one, then.
460
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:03,116
Why don't you eat with me?
461
00:22:03,116 --> 00:22:08,124
I hate dining alone.
462
00:22:08,124 --> 00:22:10,628
All right.
463
00:22:10,628 --> 00:22:12,631
Mind if I have a taste?
464
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:19,642
Ah, here. Let me.
465
00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:22,646
Oh!
466
00:22:22,646 --> 00:22:24,582
Got some on your pants.
467
00:22:24,582 --> 00:22:27,587
Better... better get that out before it... stains.
468
00:22:27,587 --> 00:22:29,089
I'll take my pants off.
469
00:22:29,089 --> 00:22:30,524
No. No. No! No.
470
00:22:30,524 --> 00:22:32,528
Don't do that. Yeah, we'll just...
471
00:22:33,028 --> 00:22:35,515
We'll just do it this way.
472
00:22:35,515 --> 00:22:36,517
You know, on second thought,
473
00:22:37,018 --> 00:22:38,019
- Maybe you...
- No. No. No. No.
474
00:22:38,019 --> 00:22:41,491
Go ahead. You're doing just fine.
475
00:22:41,491 --> 00:22:46,498
But... you'd better rub harder.
476
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:48,501
Yeah, uh...
477
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,005
been to any museums?
478
00:22:51,957 --> 00:22:59,919
Read any good books... lately?
479
00:22:59,919 --> 00:23:01,388
Oh.
480
00:23:01,388 --> 00:23:04,845
Look what I've done.
481
00:23:05,845 --> 00:23:09,350
Forgive me, Father.
482
00:23:14,791 --> 00:23:16,795
Chateau Foutre, '90.
483
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:19,299
It's a very good year.
484
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:21,802
Black angus.
485
00:23:21,802 --> 00:23:25,307
So blue it moos.
486
00:23:26,743 --> 00:23:28,729
Wait till you see what's for dessert.
487
00:23:29,230 --> 00:23:32,668
Death by chocolate.
488
00:23:32,668 --> 00:23:33,670
Is there any other way to go?
489
00:23:34,154 --> 00:23:35,155
And just when you thought
490
00:23:35,155 --> 00:23:39,662
it couldn't get any better...
491
00:23:39,662 --> 00:23:41,168
Oh, yeah.
492
00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:55,353
Maybe there is more to life than sex.
493
00:23:56,722 --> 00:23:58,191
Fine food.
494
00:23:58,191 --> 00:24:00,678
Fine wine.
495
00:24:00,678 --> 00:24:01,679
Fine cigar.
496
00:24:03,097 --> 00:24:04,533
What do you want?
497
00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:07,538
You're so cynical you can't
appreciate a little TLC?
498
00:24:09,541 --> 00:24:12,917
From lesbian Lucy and Ethel?
499
00:24:15,917 --> 00:24:19,324
Spill it.
500
00:24:20,324 --> 00:24:21,826
You know the award from the Centre?
501
00:24:21,826 --> 00:24:23,745
The one you never wanted anyway?
502
00:24:24,246 --> 00:24:25,749
What about it?
503
00:24:25,749 --> 00:24:27,718
Well, guess what? You don't have to accept it.
504
00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:29,171
I don't?
505
00:24:29,171 --> 00:24:32,091
We explained to them that
you didn't feel comfortable
506
00:24:32,091 --> 00:24:34,596
with public attention,
so they said all you have to do
507
00:24:34,596 --> 00:24:36,098
is say, "Thanks anyway, but no thanks"
508
00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:38,552
and the whole thing will just go away.
509
00:24:38,552 --> 00:24:40,054
Isn't that great?
510
00:24:40,054 --> 00:24:42,057
You don't have to prepare a speech,
you don't have to wear a tux.
511
00:24:42,057 --> 00:24:44,496
Nothing!
512
00:24:45,496 --> 00:24:47,966
- That's great.
- Yeah.
513
00:24:47,966 --> 00:24:50,358
What's the real reason?
514
00:24:53,358 --> 00:24:55,360
Could it be they read Howard Bellweather's bullshit
515
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:57,864
and now they're afraid that if they honour me
516
00:24:57,864 --> 00:25:00,818
they'll tarnish their spotless image?
517
00:25:00,818 --> 00:25:02,022
Or even worse,
518
00:25:02,030 --> 00:25:05,861
lose their precious corporate sponsors?
519
00:25:05,891 --> 00:25:08,930
and now they want me to
spare them the embarrassment.
520
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
Guess what?
521
00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:12,921
I'm not doing them any favours.
522
00:25:12,931 --> 00:25:14,523
Oh, come on, Brian. You didn't even want it.
523
00:25:14,553 --> 00:25:16,760
We practically had to force-feed it to you.
524
00:25:16,769 --> 00:25:19,563
That was before I realized...
525
00:25:19,563 --> 00:25:21,065
what an honour it would be
526
00:25:21,065 --> 00:25:25,055
to be recognized by such a fine,
upstanding organization.
527
00:25:25,055 --> 00:25:27,008
I've even...
528
00:25:27,008 --> 00:25:30,948
started working on my acceptance speech,
in fact.
529
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:33,868
- Want to hear it?
- God!
530
00:25:36,873 --> 00:25:39,878
Greetings and welcome all you...
531
00:25:39,878 --> 00:25:42,382
sexually challenged,
532
00:25:42,382 --> 00:25:46,388
transmogrified, bipolar
whatever-the-fuck-you-ares...
533
00:25:49,394 --> 00:25:53,283
Hey, boys!
534
00:25:54,283 --> 00:25:56,286
Hi, honey.
535
00:25:56,286 --> 00:25:58,773
Hi, Teddy.
536
00:25:58,773 --> 00:26:00,175
Excuse me,
537
00:26:00,175 --> 00:26:02,679
but I believe these seats are reserved
for the living.
538
00:26:02,679 --> 00:26:06,134
Ma, do you have to sit here?
539
00:26:06,134 --> 00:26:08,337
Well, I don't see a sign that says
"Reserved for Brian".
540
00:26:08,340 --> 00:26:11,024
- I told you.
- I know.
541
00:26:11,026 --> 00:26:12,528
I know you're uncomfortable
542
00:26:12,528 --> 00:26:14,981
hanging out in gay bars with your mother.
543
00:26:14,981 --> 00:26:16,483
But look at it this way.
544
00:26:16,483 --> 00:26:17,985
If you meet somebody nice,
545
00:26:17,987 --> 00:26:19,988
you won't have to bring him home to meet me,
546
00:26:19,988 --> 00:26:21,491
'cause I'm already here.
547
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,447
I'm not meeting anybody.
548
00:26:25,447 --> 00:26:26,948
With an attitude like that
549
00:26:26,948 --> 00:26:28,902
you sure as hell won't.
550
00:26:28,933 --> 00:26:31,406
You two stick-in-the-muds
have got to go have some fun!
551
00:26:31,417 --> 00:26:34,411
Come on. Go dancing, huh?
552
00:26:34,411 --> 00:26:35,863
Go get laid.
553
00:26:35,863 --> 00:26:39,368
What kind of mindless palliative
is that for existential angst?
554
00:26:39,368 --> 00:26:40,770
Say what?
555
00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:42,706
A damn good one.
556
00:26:42,706 --> 00:26:44,158
You know, before you turn around,
557
00:26:44,158 --> 00:26:45,661
you guys will be our age.
558
00:26:45,661 --> 00:26:47,097
God, don't remind me.
559
00:26:47,097 --> 00:26:49,032
And you'll regret every night you didn't go out
560
00:26:49,032 --> 00:26:50,535
and grab a little life.
561
00:26:50,535 --> 00:26:52,487
Not to mention a little ass.
562
00:26:57,311 --> 00:26:59,816
Well...
563
00:26:59,816 --> 00:27:01,818
I did see an invitation on hotpitts.com
564
00:27:02,319 --> 00:27:03,755
to a B.B. Party.
565
00:27:03,755 --> 00:27:05,740
I thought you swore off the internet.
566
00:27:05,740 --> 00:27:07,209
It was a site I forgot to delete.
567
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:09,647
A B.B. Party?
568
00:27:09,647 --> 00:27:11,116
It stands for body-builders.
569
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,556
God, I just love rock-hard pecs and...
rippled abs.
570
00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:19,445
God, mom, you are such a fag.
571
00:27:19,445 --> 00:27:22,901
Yeah, it puts the rest of us to shame.
572
00:27:23,334 --> 00:27:33,650
Well, what are you waiting for?
573
00:27:43,164 --> 00:27:45,669
Oh, yeah. I'll get a drink first, thanks.
574
00:27:57,035 --> 00:27:58,538
Whoa!
575
00:27:58,538 --> 00:28:01,042
Some party, huh?
576
00:28:01,042 --> 00:28:04,547
This isn't a party. This is an orgy.
577
00:28:04,547 --> 00:28:05,481
Yeah.
578
00:28:05,481 --> 00:28:07,968
Hi.
579
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:08,970
Hi.
580
00:28:09,471 --> 00:28:10,940
Uh...
581
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,443
Boy, if Brian only knew what he was missing.
582
00:28:13,443 --> 00:28:14,445
Fuck Brian.
583
00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:28,967
Oh, my God! Do you know who that is?
584
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,970
Don't point.
585
00:28:30,970 --> 00:28:34,425
That's Howard Bellweather.
586
00:28:34,425 --> 00:28:35,927
He doesn't have a very good body.
587
00:28:36,411 --> 00:28:41,786
'Course not, he's a writer.
588
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:44,741
These guys don't look much
like bodybuilders to me.
589
00:28:44,741 --> 00:28:46,676
They certainly are getting a work-out.
590
00:28:46,676 --> 00:28:50,183
That's not all that's wrong with this picture.
591
00:28:50,183 --> 00:28:51,684
Something's missing.
592
00:28:52,186 --> 00:28:56,575
Hors d'oeuvres?
593
00:28:56,575 --> 00:28:58,078
Condoms.
594
00:28:58,078 --> 00:29:03,052
No one's using condoms.
595
00:29:03,502 --> 00:29:05,006
Including Howard Bellweather.
596
00:29:05,006 --> 00:29:06,007
Shh!
597
00:29:07,992 --> 00:29:10,996
Holy shit, I don't think B.B.
stands for body-builders.
598
00:29:10,997 --> 00:29:13,900
- I think it stands for...
- Bare-backing.
599
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,834
We're not giving Brian Kinney an award!
600
00:29:34,834 --> 00:29:38,791
How do you turn this fucking thing off?
601
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,783
Our mistake was sending committee neophytes
602
00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:48,087
- to do co-chair work in the first place.
- Fems.
603
00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:50,289
If Kinney insists on accepting the award,
604
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,727
we have no other choice
but to refuse to give it to him.
605
00:29:52,727 --> 00:29:54,163
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
606
00:29:54,163 --> 00:29:55,097
Excuse me?
607
00:29:55,097 --> 00:29:57,067
- Honey, I...
- If you take it away now,
608
00:29:57,067 --> 00:29:59,003
you'll be in breach of promise
609
00:29:59,504 --> 00:30:00,005
and he'll take action.
610
00:30:00,506 --> 00:30:01,440
What kind of action?
611
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,942
Legal action.
612
00:30:02,942 --> 00:30:05,446
Are you suggesting he'd sue?
613
00:30:05,446 --> 00:30:07,449
"Non-profit" will take on a whole new meaning
614
00:30:07,449 --> 00:30:08,901
when he's through with you.
615
00:30:08,901 --> 00:30:11,405
Is this true?
616
00:30:11,405 --> 00:30:13,909
If he wanted to, he could drag us to court.
617
00:30:13,909 --> 00:30:15,411
But... that would be financially ruinous,
618
00:30:15,411 --> 00:30:16,913
not to mention the humiliation.
619
00:30:16,914 --> 00:30:18,900
We'd be run off the board!
620
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,821
As your counsel, my professional advice
621
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:28,247
is to just give him the fucking award.
622
00:30:28,247 --> 00:30:30,200
Well, you can congratulate Mr. Kinney
623
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:36,096
on adding blackmail to his
long list of accomplishments.
624
00:30:38,096 --> 00:30:39,098
Straighten that banner!
625
00:30:39,597 --> 00:30:41,101
Breach of promise?
626
00:30:41,101 --> 00:30:42,602
Where'd that come from?
627
00:30:42,602 --> 00:30:44,605
Hey, you fuck a lawyer,
you pick up a few things.
628
00:31:03,067 --> 00:31:04,568
That smug,
629
00:31:04,568 --> 00:31:06,556
sanctimonious, hypocritical...
630
00:31:06,556 --> 00:31:08,057
who the fuck does he think he is,
631
00:31:08,057 --> 00:31:09,059
judging everybody's behaviour?
632
00:31:09,059 --> 00:31:10,995
Especially Brian's.
633
00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:13,466
To think I just spent 25 bucks on his new book.
634
00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:15,452
Maybe he'll use the money to buy rubbers.
635
00:31:15,452 --> 00:31:17,371
Is there no such thing as decency left?
636
00:31:17,371 --> 00:31:19,342
There was.
637
00:31:19,342 --> 00:31:21,345
Once upon a time...
638
00:31:21,846 --> 00:31:22,847
until I came along.
639
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,099
Don't tell me.
640
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,717
You did the other one?
641
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,000
I couldn't help myself!
642
00:31:27,008 --> 00:31:28,289
What about them?
643
00:31:28,290 --> 00:31:30,191
You said they were a happily committed couple.
644
00:31:30,191 --> 00:31:32,178
It's not their fault.
645
00:31:32,178 --> 00:31:36,184
Obviously, up against my powers of seduction,
646
00:31:36,684 --> 00:31:39,589
they didn't stand a chance.
647
00:31:39,589 --> 00:31:41,992
I'm gonna go.
648
00:31:41,992 --> 00:31:43,495
Oh, hey!
649
00:31:43,995 --> 00:31:45,882
It's just the man I've been looking for.
650
00:31:45,882 --> 00:31:48,385
Want to dance?
651
00:31:48,385 --> 00:31:50,356
- I don't feel like it.
- Come on.
652
00:31:50,356 --> 00:31:52,308
I said I don't want to.
653
00:31:52,308 --> 00:31:54,311
What's the matter with you?
654
00:31:54,311 --> 00:31:55,813
You wouldn't understand.
655
00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:58,318
And if you did, you wouldn't care.
656
00:32:01,790 --> 00:32:05,729
Fine.
657
00:32:05,729 --> 00:32:09,684
The convention, asshole,
you were supposed to meet me!
658
00:32:10,184 --> 00:32:12,639
Is that all?
659
00:32:13,089 --> 00:32:13,590
Yeah, that's all.
660
00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:15,042
I'm sorry,
661
00:32:15,042 --> 00:32:16,027
I got tied up.
662
00:32:16,027 --> 00:32:18,481
Actually, he did.
663
00:32:18,481 --> 00:32:21,418
- See, I picked up this cop...
- I don't want to hear it.
664
00:32:21,418 --> 00:32:24,372
Doesn't matter.
665
00:32:24,372 --> 00:32:25,825
Come on, Mikey,
666
00:32:25,825 --> 00:32:28,296
it's a fucking Comic book Convention,
for Christ's sake.
667
00:32:28,296 --> 00:32:30,282
Right. That's all it was.
668
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:31,784
A bunch of geeks wandering around,
669
00:32:31,785 --> 00:32:34,739
searching for lost pieces of their childhood.
670
00:32:34,792 --> 00:32:37,226
It's pretty pathetic when you think about it.
671
00:32:37,226 --> 00:32:39,229
Only the reason for going wasn't to find
672
00:32:39,229 --> 00:32:43,185
a "Green Lantern" from 1982.
673
00:32:43,185 --> 00:32:44,687
It was for us to be together
674
00:32:44,687 --> 00:32:46,189
the way we used to be.
675
00:32:46,189 --> 00:32:47,692
Before I ran off with David.
676
00:32:47,692 --> 00:32:49,128
Before...
677
00:32:49,128 --> 00:32:52,549
before Justin got hurt.
678
00:32:52,549 --> 00:32:58,041
The dynamic duo, reunited once again.
679
00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:02,047
But I guess things don't work out that way.
680
00:33:02,047 --> 00:33:05,052
You know, things go forward instead
of backwards, right?
681
00:33:05,052 --> 00:33:07,020
And nothing stays the same,
682
00:33:07,022 --> 00:33:11,011
so don't trouble yourself.
683
00:33:11,011 --> 00:33:12,997
There's no reason for you to be there with me
684
00:33:12,997 --> 00:33:15,500
and there's no reason for me to expect you to be.
685
00:33:36,382 --> 00:33:39,888
I'm, um, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.
686
00:33:39,888 --> 00:33:42,391
Uh, I hope you won't be angry.
687
00:33:42,391 --> 00:33:46,397
But, um, I have to give you my notice.
688
00:33:46,397 --> 00:33:47,900
Oh, Emmett, no!
689
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:48,901
Aren't you happy here?
690
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:50,904
Have we done something to displease you?
691
00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:54,409
Oh, no. No, no. It's... it's not you.
692
00:33:54,409 --> 00:33:55,912
It's me.
693
00:33:55,922 --> 00:34:00,919
I'm unworthy to work for two such fine men.
694
00:34:00,919 --> 00:34:02,421
You mustn't say that.
695
00:34:02,421 --> 00:34:03,924
No one has ever given us service
696
00:34:03,925 --> 00:34:05,426
quite like you.
697
00:34:05,426 --> 00:34:08,815
I was afraid you'd say that.
698
00:34:08,815 --> 00:34:10,316
In fact, Blair has told me himself
699
00:34:10,316 --> 00:34:13,321
how happy he is with your performance.
700
00:34:13,322 --> 00:34:14,823
Haven't you, Blair?
701
00:34:14,823 --> 00:34:17,277
Oh, yes. And Blaine has done the same.
702
00:34:17,277 --> 00:34:18,780
Haven't you, sweetheart?
703
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:25,223
We've never had a more congenial menial.
704
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,214
Wait a minute. Um...
705
00:34:30,214 --> 00:34:32,183
you both know?
706
00:34:32,183 --> 00:34:34,686
Of course.
707
00:34:34,686 --> 00:34:36,691
But I... I thought...
708
00:34:36,691 --> 00:34:40,196
didn't you say you were
completely monogamous?
709
00:34:40,197 --> 00:34:41,832
We are.
710
00:34:41,833 --> 00:34:44,669
But we can all use a little help around the house.
711
00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:47,072
Now, won't you stay?
712
00:34:51,011 --> 00:34:52,515
You know,
713
00:34:52,525 --> 00:34:55,818
I, uh, I... I may be a slut...
714
00:34:57,020 --> 00:35:00,025
but at least I'm an honest slut.
715
00:35:00,025 --> 00:35:02,529
So, uh, so find someone else
716
00:35:02,529 --> 00:35:04,533
to put the starch in your pants.
717
00:35:05,534 --> 00:35:08,037
Right.
718
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,209
Come on, sonny-boy.
719
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,787
- I wasn't sure I could do it.
- I was.
720
00:36:02,787 --> 00:36:04,289
What's that for?
721
00:36:04,290 --> 00:36:08,295
You know how much I love sex in public places.
722
00:36:08,295 --> 00:36:10,232
Then suck me off.
723
00:36:10,232 --> 00:36:12,235
Right here, right now...
724
00:36:12,235 --> 00:36:14,238
- in broad daylight.
- Wow.
725
00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:17,175
You are recovering nicely.
726
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,612
Bad as new.
727
00:36:18,622 --> 00:36:20,098
Look, one step at a time.
728
00:36:20,099 --> 00:36:22,600
First, we walk back to my place.
729
00:36:22,610 --> 00:36:25,055
Then I suck you off.
730
00:36:25,055 --> 00:36:26,556
I can do it by myself.
731
00:36:26,556 --> 00:36:28,410
You can give yourself head?
732
00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:30,914
No, I can walk back without a chaperone.
733
00:36:30,924 --> 00:36:32,415
You're not trying to lose me, are you?
734
00:36:32,425 --> 00:36:36,923
I'm sick of you always following me around.
735
00:36:36,933 --> 00:36:38,425
Don't you have any friends your own age?
736
00:36:38,435 --> 00:36:42,297
Yeah, but none of them adore me as much you do.
737
00:36:42,299 --> 00:36:46,254
I can think of one that does.
738
00:36:46,264 --> 00:36:48,257
Anyway, you have a big,
739
00:36:48,267 --> 00:36:50,759
important fundraiser to attend.
740
00:36:51,763 --> 00:36:58,272
You mean a boring, insignificant
timewaster to endure.
741
00:36:58,272 --> 00:37:01,275
You're a hero.
742
00:37:01,275 --> 00:37:05,189
No matter what anyone says.
743
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,230
Thank you for the standing ovation.
744
00:37:14,330 --> 00:37:18,170
All right, here goes.
745
00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:19,671
Later.
746
00:37:19,773 --> 00:37:21,649
Later.
747
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000
Just a reminder that bidding for our silent auction
748
00:37:30,009 --> 00:37:32,540
will be closing in ten minutes...
749
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:37,047
It's so stuffy in here you need an oxygen mask.
750
00:37:37,057 --> 00:37:39,501
Just keep breathing.
751
00:37:39,511 --> 00:37:41,436
Where the hell is Brian?
752
00:37:41,436 --> 00:37:43,273
Fashionably late.
753
00:37:43,283 --> 00:37:46,344
He better get his fashionable ass here.
754
00:37:46,354 --> 00:37:50,783
Our next recipient is a man whose voice
755
00:37:50,784 --> 00:37:52,887
has been a beacon of truth
756
00:37:52,891 --> 00:37:57,465
in an often stormy sea of moral uncertainty.
757
00:37:59,065 --> 00:38:01,067
A man who has challenged us
758
00:38:01,077 --> 00:38:04,021
to account for our behaviour,
759
00:38:04,031 --> 00:38:07,026
who's demanded we accept nothing less of ourselves
760
00:38:07,036 --> 00:38:11,202
than decency and dignity.
761
00:38:13,202 --> 00:38:17,710
This year's Outstanding Gay Advocate Award
762
00:38:17,710 --> 00:38:19,712
goes to Mr. Howard...
763
00:38:19,712 --> 00:38:22,015
Bellweather!
764
00:38:28,075 --> 00:38:30,044
Yay!
765
00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:46,953
How can we complain of being stereotyped,
766
00:38:46,953 --> 00:38:49,440
of being marginalized,
767
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,945
when it is often members
of our own community
768
00:38:51,945 --> 00:38:55,450
who, through their irresponsible behaviour,
769
00:38:55,450 --> 00:38:58,404
perpetuate such treatment.
770
00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:02,410
We are our own worst enemy.
771
00:39:02,410 --> 00:39:05,232
And so we must raise ourselves up by our moral...
772
00:39:06,233 --> 00:39:07,168
In conclusion...
773
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:09,137
Did he say "conclusion"?
774
00:39:09,137 --> 00:39:10,122
Shh!
775
00:39:10,122 --> 00:39:12,025
It is up to us
776
00:39:12,025 --> 00:39:14,028
to change the misperception
777
00:39:14,028 --> 00:39:16,515
that gay life is all about sex.
778
00:39:16,515 --> 00:39:17,950
Hear, hear.
779
00:39:17,950 --> 00:39:19,953
This is the gauntlet I throw down to you...
780
00:39:20,921 --> 00:39:24,427
...to prove we are the concerned,
781
00:39:24,427 --> 00:39:28,286
committed citizens we, in truth, are.
782
00:39:30,787 --> 00:39:31,788
Thank you.
783
00:39:31,798 --> 00:39:33,224
Yay!
784
00:39:47,011 --> 00:39:50,015
I still believe in what he says...
785
00:39:50,025 --> 00:39:52,518
even if I don't believe in him.
786
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:03,320
Wow.
787
00:40:03,820 --> 00:40:07,826
Our next recipient's name
became synonymous with courage
788
00:40:07,826 --> 00:40:13,134
when he intervened in a vicious gaybashing incident,
789
00:40:13,134 --> 00:40:17,141
saving the young victim's life.
790
00:40:18,141 --> 00:40:21,131
He's a... inspiration to us all.
791
00:40:22,131 --> 00:40:25,569
This year's Outstanding Gay Hero Award
792
00:40:25,579 --> 00:40:27,522
goes to...
793
00:40:27,532 --> 00:40:29,000
Brian Kinney.
794
00:40:30,944 --> 00:40:32,897
Yes!
795
00:40:48,554 --> 00:40:51,993
Well, stop standing there and do something.
796
00:40:51,999 --> 00:40:54,997
Is, uh, Brian Kinney with us tonight?
797
00:40:55,498 --> 00:40:58,436
I can't believe he didn't show.
798
00:40:58,436 --> 00:41:00,439
If only to tell the crowd where to stick it.
799
00:41:00,450 --> 00:41:02,877
And how high.
800
00:41:03,376 --> 00:41:06,180
I think he got his message across.
801
00:41:06,190 --> 00:41:10,887
Loud and clear.
802
00:41:18,332 --> 00:41:20,837
Wow, "The Invincible Iron Man" number 49.
803
00:41:20,837 --> 00:41:22,840
This is so amazing.
804
00:41:23,340 --> 00:41:27,346
$500.00? What have you been smoking?
805
00:41:27,356 --> 00:41:29,349
Buy it.
806
00:41:29,359 --> 00:41:31,352
It's a steal.
807
00:41:31,453 --> 00:41:33,854
Aren't you supposed to be somewhere,
808
00:41:33,864 --> 00:41:36,861
winning some award? Hero of the Year?
809
00:41:36,374 --> 00:41:40,365
Buy a comic book.
810
00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:39,364
You want a hero?
811
00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:45,373
Why aren't you accepting your award?
812
00:41:45,383 --> 00:41:47,376
Not that I give a shit.
813
00:41:47,877 --> 00:41:49,880
We had a date.
814
00:41:49,890 --> 00:41:52,384
Attention, everyone.
815
00:41:52,394 --> 00:41:55,388
Comicon will be closing in 15 minutes.
816
00:41:55,398 --> 00:41:57,891
You barely made it.
817
00:42:02,883 --> 00:42:06,889
Look, I meant what I said.
You didn't have to come.
818
00:42:06,899 --> 00:42:08,091
Things have changed,
819
00:42:08,095 --> 00:42:12,398
We've moved on and it's okay.
820
00:42:12,398 --> 00:42:15,903
No demands, no expectations, no regrets.
821
00:42:18,357 --> 00:42:21,861
Well, as long as I'm here,
we might as well have a good time.
822
00:42:25,251 --> 00:42:29,723
Hey.
823
00:42:26,823 --> 00:42:33,196
Let's get a picture.
824
00:42:34,006 --> 00:42:35,498
That's for kids.
825
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:38,705
Come on, Mikey.
826
00:42:38,715 --> 00:42:41,198
It's stupid.
827
00:42:45,698 --> 00:42:48,903
It wasn't stupid when we used to lock
ourselves up in your room...
828
00:42:48,913 --> 00:42:50,706
reading "Captain Astro and Galaxy Lad"
829
00:42:51,207 --> 00:42:54,645
wishing we were invincible like them.
830
00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:56,648
And pretending that no earthly force
831
00:42:56,658 --> 00:42:59,000
Could ever separate us, like them.
832
00:42:59,008 --> 00:43:03,123
And swearing that we'd always
be there for each other.
833
00:43:03,624 --> 00:43:07,097
Like them.
834
00:43:07,599 --> 00:43:12,022
You remember that?
835
00:43:27,829 --> 00:43:31,834
You don't have to be out on the streets
any more, Travis.
836
00:43:31,844 --> 00:43:35,306
From now on, you're going to be living here with us.
837
00:43:35,306 --> 00:43:38,177
You're so kind.
838
00:43:38,187 --> 00:43:41,065
I didn't know gay people like you existed.
839
00:43:41,075 --> 00:43:44,021
We're not all sexual predators.
840
00:43:44,021 --> 00:43:47,523
In fact, the only thing we like bound in leather
841
00:43:47,524 --> 00:43:50,979
is a good 19th century novel.
842
00:43:51,983 --> 00:43:56,054
Have you read Jane Austen?
843
00:43:56,064 --> 00:43:57,056
No.
844
00:43:57,066 --> 00:43:59,092
It's better than sex.
845
00:43:59,099 --> 00:44:00,093
Oh.
846
00:44:00,100 --> 00:44:02,193
Blaze this.
58061
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
