All language subtitles for The.Lovers.Guide.Igniting.Desire.2011 BluRay.English

(Male narrator) Love is a drug.
A class-A drug.

MRI scans have shown

that the euphoric dopamine rush
experienced by lovers

lights up the same areas of the brain
as cocaine and morphine.

This reaction can act
as a powerful painkiller,

and oxytocin,
known as the cuddle hormone,

can be strong enough
to blind us to a lover's flaws.

(Female narrator) The continued
release of the stress hormones

adrenaline and cortisol

can ensure that the newly-smitten
cannot eat, cannot sleep,

and cannot think about anything other
than the target of their affection.

(Man) Love can strike
anyone anywhere,

and often when they least expect it.

But, rather than doing
what comes naturally,

we and the way we lead our lives
in today's busy world

put barriers in the way.

Just because nature has given us
the basic tools and instincts,

It doesn't mean that
everyone is going to be great at it.

(Woman) The expectation that
we should instinctively know it all

can mean that we don't educate
ourselves about sex.

This increases the tendency
to dodge big relationship issues

such as safe sex, bad sex
and lack of sex.

Like most things in life,
to do something well,

you have to learn and practice.

And sex is no exception.

Anyone who has ever experienced

the groin-swelling, nipple-hardening
intensity of sexual chemistry,

knows that when lust hits hard

it overwhelms the mind as furiously
as it overpowers the body.

(Man) So why is sex
such a powerful drive?

Anthropologists, logically enough,
put it down to the need for procreation.

Sex is essential to the survival
of the human species,

so we're made to crave it.

However,
unlike our hairier ancestors,

it's not just about breeding.

Courtesy of contraception,

we are uniquely free
to explore the excitement of sex

for its own sake.

(Woman) The upsides of such
freedom are obvious.

We can get to know ourselves

by exploring different sides
of our sexuality with our partner

or indeed different partners.

We can experience
the heady highs of lust

and enjoy orgasms in myriad ways
without risking pregnancy

or even commitment.

(Man) Great sex means different things
to different people.

Libidos vary, fantasies vary
and motivations vary.

Age, upbringing, health
and personal circumstances

can all have an effect
on people's desires.

And an individual's preferences
can change from day to day, too.

On some occasions, tender kisses
and slow sensual caresses

might bring passion to the fore.

(Woman) Sex can be about lust or love,

temptation or celebration,

affection or simply occupying
yourselves on a rainy Sunday.

No one motivation
will guarantee great sex,

but it's certainly worth exploring
all the options.

It's those people
who feel comfortable

enjoying, understanding
and exploring sex

that tend to have the most fun
with their clothes off.

(Man) Being honest
about your own cravings

and willing to explore
every inch of your lover's body

in a bid to learn
what really turns them on

is an essential part of great sex.

(Woman) Sex, after all,
can't just be about your desires.

To be really synapse-sparking,
it has to be about tending to your own

and your partner's individual
desires, wants and needs,

and finding the glorious intersections
between those points.

(Man) Flirting is man's mating ritual.

It's the first way we indicate desire,

and a host of industries
are built up around it,

from speed-dating to more traditional
singles' nights, pubs to clubs.

A plethora of social occasions
are little more

than thinly-disguised
seduction opportunities.

(Woman) Many people complain
that nightclubs become duller

once you stop being single.

Which just goes to show
how carefully they are designed

to help find a mate.

And while you may not necessarily
get a chance for a good conversation,

You certainly get a good opportunity
to scope out potential conquests.

(Man) Flirting gives a subtle
indication of interest -

suggesting you are up
for forming a deeper connection,

but without the risk that comes
with a more direct approach.

(Woman) Things like direct eye contact
and an open smile

can act to indicate desire
and suggest attraction.

(Man) Although some people
are innately flirtatious,

it's also a skill that can be
learned and developed.

(Woman) Practicing flirting helps
overcome lack of self-confidence

and the fear of rejection.

The main goal is to spark
the imagination of your target.

(Man) One key thing to keep in mind
when you're attempting to flirt

is your body language.

Although you don't want to completely
invade someone's personal space,

a bit of encroachment
sends the signal

that there's more than just
chatting going on here.

(Woman) A welcoming smile,
a casual touch of the hand,

or simply listening
to someone attentively

will all help indicate your attraction,

though some prefer
the more overt approach.

(Man) Leaning towards someone,

which is often necessary
in a noisy environment,

is another way to show your interest.

The more confident you look,
the more attractive you'll seem.

(Woman) By relaxing, enjoying yourself,
and using those signals skilfully,

you can establish whether there's
a connection with a potential mate,

and, if there is,
who knows where it could lead?

(Man) Sex is a core human need,

as natural as breathing,
sleeping and eating.

And, as with all these needs,

the hunger for sex can be
a strong motivating force.

Our bodies ignite the desire for sex,

and once the craving is there,

it's the first step towards the joys
that intimacy can bring.

(Woman) Physical attraction
is an essential part of desire.

Sometimes, just the sight
of a muscular pair of arms

or a hint of cleavage can activate
a person's sex hormones,

which then rouse the body and mind
into action.

(Man) The trickiest thing
about fulfilling desires

can be finding the person
who really clicks with you sexually.

(Woman) We're genetically
hotwired to be drawn to partners

who seem to be good
breeding stock.

Youth, health and strength
are universally appealing.

But more than that,

we're also attracted to people
whose pheromones indicate

they have a complementary
immune system to our own.

When we meet a match,

the brain releases a complex
cocktail of chemicals

that produce a rush
of excitement and well being,

bonding us to a lover
and making us feel content.

(Man) The body conspires
to enhance these chemicals.

The pupils dilate, making us
look more attractive to a partner.

Meanwhile, the blood makes
a bee-line to parts of the body

that openly indicate desire.

Resulting in external signs such
as erect nipples and a hardening penis,

which all serve to arouse a partner
if they happen to catch a glimpse,

even through our clothes.

(Woman) While research has shown
that 90% of long-term couples

feel they are with the right partner,

over 50% of marriages
end in divorce.

Still, strong physical attraction
and great sex can develop

provided the couple bring enough energy
and enthusiasm to their intimate lives-.

(Man) Once the feeling
of desire kicks in,

we use the same kinds of seduction
techniques found in the animal kingdom.

Grooming, preening, teasing
and sometimes territorial behavior.

Simply placing a hand
on a lover's arm in public

can indicate to others
that they are taken,

and kissing in public is a clear indication
to others to keep their hands off.

(Woman) Sadly, these feelings
don't always last.

The most powerful chemicals
of attraction

only last for around three months,

with almost all of them fading away
within 18 months.

This is why many couples may feel
the magic has faded.

(Man) They identify the feeling of love
as being the heady mix of chemicals,

which is why it's so important to develop
more than merely a sexual relationship

when you first meet a lover.

But, with continued effort,

there's no reason that
a long-term loving relationship

shouldn't result in even better sex

than the chemical-driven highs
of the early days.

(Woman) It's only when we kiss

that chemistry really has
the chance to work its magic.

With the right partner, the world
shrinks down into nothing but the point

at which your lips are making
contact with your lover's.

As the kiss deepens,
the blood rushes into your lips,

indicating your desire,
increasing sensitivity

and making them firm with arousal.

(Man) That first kiss can
be thick with passion.

While it can be tempting
to dive in tongue first,

the entire experience becomes
so much more enticing

if you take a softly-softly approach.

(Woman) Looking into
each other's eyes

as you breathe
each other's breath,

each waiting for the other
to make the first move,

can create one of the most intoxicating
moments of a burgeoning relationship.

(Man) Going in too hard and fast
to start with

can indicate inexperience or a lack
of concern for your partner's enjoyment.

Good things come to those who wait,

and never is this truer
than with kissing.

While wet kisses do have their place,

an overactive, probing tongue suggests
you want to rush to the finishing line

rather than enjoying the sensual
pleasures that a kiss has to offer.

(Woman) Many a relationship has been
thwarted by a lack-lustre first kiss.

While technical skill has a part to play,

if there isn't that magical zing
when your lips first meet,

it can indicate there may not be
enough physical compatibility

for passion to grow.

(Man) Licking your own lips when
your mouth is mere millimeters away

from the object of your affections

delivers a sensual tease that will make
them yearn to press their lips to yours.

And taking that first kiss slowly,

letting your lips delicately
touch your lover's

before pulling away
to extend the tease

will serve to make the stomach flip
and the heart race.

(Woman) By teasing and withdrawing,
deepening the kiss then pulling away,

you help to build the passion
slowly and seductively

while still leaving your lover
in no doubt as to your desires.

(Man) That said,
as your relationship progresses,

deep, hard kissing can be
an intoxicating way to show your lover

that you still desire them
as much as you did

in the early days
of your relationship.

A passionate kiss
can be achingly intense.

Fueling the desire to let your lips
explore your partner's face,

neck, shoulders and beyond.

It will make your skin tingle
and blood pound,

and leave your lover
filled with anticipation.

(Woman) And kissing isn't just
about the lips.

Leisurely exploring your lover's neck,
earlobes and shoulders

can be achingly sensual.

Many women list their neck as one of
their most sensitive erogenous zones,

with delicate neck kissing
acting as more of a turn-on

than a more obvious approach
of caressing the breasts.

(Man) While love bites are best
avoided after adolescence,

gently nibbling and teasing suction
can send shivers of anticipation

through your lover's body.

(Woman) Kissing is addictive.

It forms a strong, lasting bond
between you and your partner.

It's a well-known truth that
when relationships break down,

it's usually the first kissing
that stops even before sex.

Think of kissing as the litmus test
of how well you're getting along.

(Man) The lips are densely
populated with nerves.

An intense session of kissing ensures
those nerves,

combined with those on the tongue
and in the mouth,

constantly send messages
to the brain.

This helps unleash numerous
sexy chemicals

that make you feel relaxed, aroused,
connected to a partner,

and ready to take things
to the next level.

(Woman) People stay in love
when they feel valued,

adored and appreciated sexually.

Don't be complacent.

Keep making your partner feel sexy,

keep flirting,
and don't let the kissing stop.

You never know where it might lead.

(Man) Touch is one of our most
basic communication methods.

However, only the caress of a lover
has the ability

to set your nerves alight

and make your mind explore
the infinite possibilities

contained within than blissful moment
when skin meets skin.

(Woman) Even something as simple
as your fingertips meeting your lover's

can be charged with erotic promise.

(Man) The average human has
an impressive two square metres

of skin surface area.

That makes the skin,
packed with millions of nerve endings,

your body's largest erogenous zone.

All it takes to activate it
is a touch from the right person.

(Woman) Stroking each other helps you
rouse each other's desires,

getting the juices flowing,
and making you both eager for more.

(Man) Caressing your partner's body
teaches you its landscape.

It's only by exploring
that you can discover exactly

what makes your lover tick.

Although the breasts and genitals
are the obvious erogenous zones,

By allowing your hands
to roam more thoroughly,

you can discover your lover's
unique body blueprint.

(Woman) For some, a finger traced
along the spine,

back of the knee
or the nape of the neck,

can produce a strong and erotic charge
as more X-rated exploration.

For others, delicate kisses
to the buttocks, inner ankle or toes

are the key to sexual bliss.

There's no right or wrong,
simply what your lover likes best.

(Man) As with most sexual contact,

caressing a lover builds
a feeling of intimacy

and releases the cuddle
hormone oxytocin.

This makes you more receptive
to touching and being touched,

sending the signal that
you can relax into your arousal.

Building these feelings with slow kisses,
tender eye gazing and teasing strokes

will only serve to heighten
the anticipation.

(Woman) Mixing up the types
of caresses and areas being caressed

helps keep the skin's nerve endings
responsive.

And there's no reason
you can't touch yourself

while your lover is touching you.

Being comfortable enough to masturbate
in front of your lover

shows that you trust them
and helps them to get to know

the type of touch that
you most enjoy.

(Man) There's no reason that touch
should be limited to your hands.

The lips and teeth can deliver
exquisite sensations,

helping your lover feel worshipped
on every inch of their body.

Sensual kisses and
whispered sweet nothings

will all add to the mood and
make you both desperate for more.

(Woman) Take time
when caressing a lover.

Give them the chance for their mind
to imagine what's going to come next.

Once someone's brain is stimulated,

it's almost guaranteed
that the body will follow.

(Man) Women in particular
appreciate slow foreplay.

While only 25% of women climax
from penetrative sex alone,

this figure increases to over 75%

if their partner spends
more than 20 minutes

on touching
and other forms of foreplay.

(Woman) Many people fantasize
when their lover is caressing them.

This is entirely natural and healthy,

even if you are not fantasizing
about your lover.

(Man) Communicating your desire
sexually with a partner,

whether verbally or through the way
you groan and move your body,

is one of the easiest ways
to get what you want in bed.

And continue to communicate
whilst you are being pleasured.

Simply moaning when your lover
caresses you in a way that you enjoy

and staying silent when they do
something that doesn't hit the spot

will help them learn
what you most enjoy.

(Woman) Most people simply
want their lover to be happy,

and you will generally find if you have
the confidence to ask for what you want,

you will get what you need.

(Woman) Touching yourself is
as important as touching a lover.

Until you truly know your own body,

you're unlikely to be able
to guide a partner

on how to satisfy your desires and
your own personal pleasure zones.

(Man) While some people
stigmatize masturbation,

it really is entirely normal and healthy.

Playing with your own body
helps build confidence

and teaches you about
your own sexual responses.

(Woman) It's helpful to be aware
of your many erogenous zones,

not just the genitals.

Everyone is different.

There is no right or wrong way
to stimulate yourself,

so experiment with different methods.

(Man) Men have an arsenal of techniques
at their disposal.

They can use a lubed up hand
to rub and squeeze the penis and balls.

They can experiment with different grips,
using one hand or both,

or even rub their penis
against something.

Once you've explored your body alone,

show your partner what you've learnt.

Side by side, masturbation can be
one of the best ways to demonstrate

what turns you on to your partner.

(Woman) When it comes
to pleasuring your man,

explore every inch
of his penis and beyond,

stroking him from his balls
to the tip of his shaft.

Follow his hands on how best
to stimulate his penis.

If he is not fully erect,

grip the penis and gently pump it
with your hand.

You may also want to coat your palm
with lubricant

and then grasp his shaft and start
to move your hand up and down.

(Man) Experiment with
different techniques.

Try holding his shaft
right underneath the head

between thumb and finger
and rubbing it.

Or grasping the shaft firmly
in a lubricated hand,

with your thumb on his fraenulum
and slide your hand up and down.

Or use one hand to stroke his shaft
with smooth, even strokes

while the other one moves around
the head in a circular motion.

(Woman) Watch your lover's
body language as you play,

and check whether he likes what
you're doing as you go along.

And don't ignore his balls.

Feel free to squeeze and tickle them,
but always be gentle,

because a bruised testicle
is a sure-fire way

to get a man immediately
out of the mood.

(Man) As a man nears orgasm,

his balls will tighten and you'll feel
his penis start to pulse.

It'll also probably feel harder.

Maintain what you're doing
unless you want to extend the tease,

in which case change the technique.

(Woman) There's a lot to be learned
from watching your partner.

Women generally tend
to prefer softer, slower

and more manual stimulation
than men.

Watch how she softly rubs
the shaft of the clitoris.

Going straight for the clitoral tip can
be uncomfortable for many women.

Look at how she swells with arousal
and keeps the pressure light.

(Man) Women tend to prefer
the gentler approach to men,

so notice how her fingers circle
around her clitoris or tease her labia,

rather than pressing hard
or rubbing fast.

(Woman) When masturbating
in front of a partner,

be honest about what you really do
when you're alone.

Although it can be tempting
to put on a graphic display,

particularly if you watch
a lot of adult films together,

there is no point going
for lots of penetration

and spreading of your labia
or finger licking,

if what you really enjoy is
a light circling of your clitoris.

Your partner can only learn
from what you are doing,

if you show what you genuinely enjoy.

It'll be even more of a turn-on if he can
see you getting wetter as you play.

(Man) It generally takes a woman
longer to climax than a man.

So, if you're going for a mutual
masturbation session,

it's a good idea to apply the adage:
"ladies first".

That way, you'll both be satisfied

and interested in what each other
is doing throughout.

Watching your lover masturbate

and then joining in
as she gets closer to orgasm,

using all the new tricks
you have learned from observing,

can be one of the sexiest show-and-tell
sessions you will ever experience.

(Man) It helps if you let your lover
show you by guiding your hand

how best she likes to be stimulated.

Feel around her G-spot,
a few inches inside on the upper wall.

You'll know when you've found it
when you find a area that swells

when you stroke it
with a come-hither motion.

(Woman) G-spot stimulation can be
the pathway to female ejaculation.

(Man) Don't be afraid
to show your lover

how much you enjoy watching
her masturbate by touching yourself.

(Woman) And many women find
watching their partner masturbate

To be a turn-on too, so you may
spur her nearer to her orgasm.

(Man) Conversely,
most men are aroused

by watching a woman lose herself
in sensual pleasure.

So don't be afraid to let
your growing excitement show.

It's more than likely to make your lover
desperately want to join in.

(Woman) The man should add
more fingers

as he feels his lover
getting more aroused,

and use his other hand to caress
her clitoris, neck or nipples

or to stroke himself.

(Man) Frontage, or rubbing your genitals
against your partners,

can be a wonderfully stimulating twist

on more traditional methods
of masturbation.

Just remember that you still
need to use a condom

unless you know you're safe
from STD's and pregnancy.

(Woman) When orgasm hits,
don't be afraid to let it show.

Not only does it let your partner know
they should stop what they are doing,

to avoid touching
over-sensitized areas,

it can also act as an incredible
turn-on for them,

spurring them towards their own climax.

(Man) Masturbating a partner
isn't just great foreplay,

it can make a refreshing change from,
or a wonderfully sensual alternative to,

full-on sexual intercourse.

(Man) Just about every animal on the
planet uses licking to convey affection.

But humans have taken it
to a whole new level.

There are numerous ways in which
people use their tongue on a lover.

Delicate licking, sensual lapping,
and tracing outlines on a lover's skin,

all have their place.

And licking isn't just reserved
for the most obvious body parts.

Exploring your lover's
entire body with your tongue

can make them tingle all over.

(Woman) Going from a standing start
straight to oral can be very sexy.

But if you make a lover crave your
tongue on their most intimate parts,

they're more likely to be aroused and
eager when you finally get down there.

(Man) The longer you extend the tease,

the more powerful a lover's
eventual orgasm is likely to be.

Whether that happens with your mouth
or fingers or full-blown sex.

(Woman) Many women find oral sex
the easiest way to climax.

As the clitoris is much richer
in nerves than the penis,

start gently rather than sucking too hard.

(Man) You should be
sensitive enough to feel

whether she wants your licks
stronger or faster.

Even simply breathing on the clitoris
can be incredibly arousing,

building her desire and making her ache
to feel your mouth around her.

Try using the flat side of your tongue
rather than the tip

as some women prefer
a big ice-cream lick

to pressure of the point
of the tongue on the clitoris.

(Woman) The golden rule is not to see it
as a race to get her to a finishing line,

but to delight in losing yourself
in a joyous activity.

Some women can feel self-conscious
about receiving oral sex,

but if you show that
you're not only willing

but actively want to take your time,

it will reassure her that
she smells and tastes great,

and can relax into enjoying herself too.

And with her relaxation
can come great orgasms.

(Man) As a woman nears orgasm,
her labia and clitoris will swell

and the wetness will increase.

At this point, you can add
a finger or two.

Or try more intense contact
using the tip of your tongue.

But again, build up slowly,

as otherwise she may
lose the moment entirely-.

(Woman) Vary how you begin oral sex.

Putting your tongue on the shaft
of a hardening penis

or engorged clitoris through underwear
can be wildly erotic-.

Try lapping at the pubic mound,
the inner thighs, the balls,

and occasionally let your tongue
snake inside the underwear-.

(Man) While there are numerous
fellatio techniques,

they fall into two basic approaches.

For a slow and gentle tease,
or as a wonderful warm-up,

lick the length of the penis
from balls to shaft

before gently flicking your tongue
over the generally more sensitive head.

To extend the anticipation,

move back from his glands
to the base of his penis

and work your way up.

Or from side to side,
or to his inner thighs,

before moving back up.

(Woman) Try playing your hair
over his shaft

as you delicately lick the tip,

softly sucking the skin between his balls
into your mouth.

Or even sucking his balls entirely
into your mouth.

Do take it carefully though,
as the balls can be incredibly sensitive

and not all men like them
being played with.

(Man) Alternatively,
or as things heat up,

go for more intense sucking,
moving your head up and down,

so that he can watch his penis
vanishing into your mouth.

Many men find it extra hot
to make eye contact at this point,

so he can see how much
you love what you're doing.

(Woman) Make sure you keep
your teeth guarded behind your lips,

and don't be afraid to set the pace.

If he thrusts too hard
or at the wrong moment,

it can set off the gag reflex.

Keeping one hand on the penis
as you perform oral sex

will also help you stay in control.

What you are aiming for is creating
a warm, wet, tight combination

that emulates the feeling of him
sliding in and out of your vagina.

(Man) Masturbating the shaft or
softly tugging or cupping the balls,

or using your fingers to put
some pressure on his perineum,

that area between his balls and anus,

can send him over the edge.

You may want to get an all-clear from
him

before you go sticking your finger
in his anus, however.

Some men love it, but others will
not take such an intrusion kindly.

(Woman) If it's the taste of semen
that you really don't like,

take the penis at the back of your throat

to bypass the majority
of your taste buds,

and if you're squeamish
about swallowing,

withdraw your mouth altogether,

and masturbate him to orgasm.

(Man) Different people prefer
different techniques,

so read your lover's body language.

Don't be shy about asking questions,

even when you're in the middle
of pleasuring your partner.

And, above all, focus on enjoying
the sensual pleasure

of having your lover's most
intimate parts in your mouth.

Some people get just as aroused
by giving oral sex as receiving it,

and you may become one of them
if you get your mind into the right state.

It really can be every bit as good
to give as to receive.

(Woman) Whilst straight-forward sex
is perfectly wonderful in itself,

many people also enjoy
some form of kink or fetish.

For some, it may simply be
the exhibitionist thrill

of watching a lover
strip or masturbate.

Being able to observe a partner
in such an intimate way

and know that they're indulging
for your gratification

can deliver an intense sexual charge.

(Man) Others find that sexy lingerie
adds an extra frisson to sex

that nothing else can match.

Dressing up and undressing
for seduction

can add a sense of naughtiness
and occasion,

particularly if a lover is
appreciative of the effort

and lavishes you with compliments.

Stockings and suspenders are popular,

and giving a discreet flash
of stocking top

when you're getting out of a car
on the way to dinner

can make a man's mind
wander all night.

Even simply seeing a pair of stockings
being slowly unfurled up a leg

can be enough to create
a spark of desire.

(Woman) And of course,
getting kinky isn't simply

about the way you dress or undress.

Spanking is one of the most
common fetishes,

often forming part of sex in which
one partner takes a dominant role,

and the other a submissive one.

With this scenario, even something as
innocuous as tickling can be a turn-on.

(Man) While most people seek out
the pleasure of touch,

the sensation of pain which also
releases a flood of feel-good endorphins

can be just as energizing.

This is exacerbated
if the spanking starts slowly

and gradually becomes more intense.

(Woman) If a long, hardish
spanking is administered,

it is essential to comfort
your lover afterwards,

otherwise they may suffer a come-down
from their body's own natural high-.

And teaming pleasure with pain
can really increase the sensations.

(Man) Even if a kink
doesn't do it for you,

by indulging your lover,
you may well find yourself

bringing a previously unknown
spark into your relationship.

Fetishes can be based
deep in the subconscious,

and connect you
to your lover's sexual psyche

in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't.

And you never know,

just because a particular kink or quirk
has never appealed to you,

it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it
if you actually try it.

(Woman) You can take things
to another level

by bringing kinky role-play
into the occasion.

Many role-play scenarios
involve a power play:

doctors and nurses,
escorts and clients,

seducers and virgins.

And you don't necessarily have
to dress up or use specialist props.

Simply using your imagination
can be all that's required

to transport you to a castle dungeon
or an Arabian harem.

(Man) Bondage, domination,
submission and masochism,

collectively known as BDSM,

allow exploration of power roles
within relationships.

Some people get a thrill
out of relinquishing

or seizing control
in the bedroom,

particularly if this runs contrary
to their position in everyday life.

Household props can easily
be adapted to kinky purposes.

Stockings or silk scarves
can become bondage ropes.

(Woman) By trying both dominant
and submissive roles with a lover,

you may tap into previously
unacknowledged desires.

However, before engaging
in any fantasy or role-play,

make sure boundaries
are clearly defined.

What may seem entertaining in fantasy
can be too extreme in reality,

and levels that you think
you'd never step beyond

may become surpassable
when you're in the heat of the moment.

(Man) Before you start playing,

it's essential to set a safe word
which means stop

and that your partner promises
faithfully to adhere to.

Many people enjoy using the words
'no' or 'stop' as part of the role-play,

so choose a word such as 'red'

which you are less likely to use
during the sex-play.

(Woman) Some couples draw
inspiration for their fantasy play

from X-rated material:

reading erotic stories,
looking at sexy magazines

and watching adult videos.

Most men have looked at some form
of pornography in their lives,

although figures for women
are on the increase too.

(Man) Producing home porn,

whether in the form of pictures
or videos of oneselfes,

has seen a massive boost
in the digital age.

While you should never take photos or
videos of anyone without their consent,

role-playing photographer and model
can be a hot fantasy.

And you can always delete any images
you take afterwards.

You may find it safest to ensure
that neither of you is identifiable

in any home porn make,
should anyone find the footage.

(Woman) Unless you're happy
to be exhibitionists,

keep your faces out of shot,

and also ensure you hide
any unique piercings or tattoos

to keep your identity
properly protected.

That goes doubly so if you intend
to post your footage online,

on the user-generated adult websites
that are now in abundance.

(Man) Sometimes
a perfectly passable sex life

just needs a little tweak to move it
into the mind-blowing category.

(Woman) In the end, good old
romance can often be best

for maintaining the spice
in a relationship.

Affection and appreciation are often
the choicest aphrodisiacs in life.

(Man) Sex toys have been around
for thousands of years.

Early dildos, known as Olisbos,
were sold in Greece around 5,000 BC.

Around the same time,
Ben Wa balls,

still used as vaginal toning devices
and stimulators to this day,

were created in southeast Asia.

(Woman) Olive oil was mentioned
as a sexual lubricant

in texts dating back to 35080.

Although it shouldn't actually
be used as a lubricant

as it can cause condoms to break.

(Man) And cock rings, once made
from the dried eyelids of goats,

were used back in 1,200 AD.

By 1600, these evolved
into carved ivory rings,

some with studs used to stimulate
the clitoris during intercourse.

(Woman) Vibrators were invented
in Victorian times

to provide orgasms as a medical cure
for hysteria or womb disease

in female patients.

The machines were administered
by doctors

who previously had developed
tired wrists

from having to cure
this hysteria manually.

(Man) Nowadays sex toys
are no longer taboo.

At a sex emporium, you can pick up
clitoral stimulators, dildos and vibrators

of every shape and size.

The choice in men's toys has also grown
significantly over the last decade,

most notably with the arrival
of a masturbator

looking like an ordinary torch.

(Woman) Around half of all women
in the West

have a sex toy of some kind,

and almost 80% of them
use them within relationships.

You can use them to stimulate nipples,
a clitoris, vagina or anus,

or indeed the penis, balls or prostate.

(Man) 80 don't see toys as something
purely to use on a woman.

Even toys such as the Rabbit,
designed with women in mind,

can be used on the man.

Try teaming it with oral
or manual stimulation.

If it doesn't float his boat,
you can simply put the toy aside.

If it works for him, you can both
enjoy more explosive climaxes.

(Woman) Women, though, often
need more stimulation than men

to attain orgasm,

and what man is capable of 6,000 revs
per minute and at the touch of a button?

Many women who do use sex toys
on a regular basis

experience more frequent orgasms,
have increased sexual confidence

and report greater satisfaction
with their partners.

(Man) This means that rather than being
a threat to your relationship,

vibrators and other sex toys
can be positively beneficial.

(Woman) When it comes
to introducing your partner

to the concept of using
sex toys together,

judge it carefully.

Some couples may be open enough
to say, "Fancy giving this a go?"

when others could be intimidated.

(Man) Not so long ago, the idea
of a woman using a strap-on dildo

to penetrate her male partner
would have been shocking.

But now you can buy backdoor toys,
G-spot and prostate massage's

to help couples reach the parts
that never see the light of day.

(Woman) Some toys nowadays
are designed for double penetration.

With enough foreplay
and plenty of lube,

it's amazing the pleasures that
such double stimulation can bring.

Then there's the extra dimension
of adding to sexual fantasy.

You can imagine group sex

without exposing yourself to
the emotional risks of actually trying it.

(Man) Remember, though,
the key word is 'play'.

So, whatever toys you choose
to incorporate into your sex life,

be sure that the end result is fun.

(Woman) Though many couples stick
to two or three favourite positions

throughout their lives,

there are actually hundreds of positions

that people can use
to have sexual intercourse.

On the internet, you can find
step-by-step guides

to doing everything from
the 'Pile-driver' to the 'Pinwheel'.

(Man) But there are really just
five main approaches to consider

when deciding which way to do it.

Man on top.

Woman on top.

From behind.

Sitting.

And standing.

(Woman) Then there's always
anal sex to consider as well,

but we'll get to that later.

(Man) Man on top, also known
as the 'missionary position',

is often considered
old-fashioned or dull.

But it actually offers a woman
a greater chance of orgasm

because it allows for great
clitoral stimulation,

particularly if you don't rush it.

This position is also conducive
to passionate eye contact

breast fondling and,
if the woman bends her knees

or wraps her legs around her partner,

deeper penetration
and G-spot stimulation.

(Woman) The woman has easy access
to caress the man's chest and nipples,

should they be an erogenous zone
for him.

She can also easily grip his shoulders
and rake her nails down his back,

and of course there's lots of scope
for both of you to kiss.

(Man) Missionary position
is a great starting-off point,

that lends itself to both
sensual and animalistic sex.

And there's nothing to stop you moving
from slow and teasing missionary

to hard and fast rutting in one session.

(Woman) Rotating the hips
in a figure of eight motion,

moving your bodies
closer together or further away,

or adding your own unique twist
to missionary sex,

such as this reverse doggie,

can all increase sensitivity
and allow deeper penetration.

(Man) There's a reason it's one
of the most popular sexual positions

with men and women alike.

(Woman) The next option to consider
is woman on top.

This position allows the woman
to be more in control

of the pace and power of thrusting
and the depth of penetration.

She can also be more in charge
of tending to the clitoris,

either by actively grinding it
against her partner's pubic bone,

or by playing with it herself.

The man has easy access
to the woman's breasts,

and again, it's easy to kiss.

(Man) As with missionary,
there are myriad variations

of woman-on-top sex.

It can be a seductive dance

with a woman grinding her hips
against her partner,

looking into his eyes
as the pair rock to mutual bliss.

Or it can be a passionate and dominant
exchange

in which the woman hungrily
takes what she wants

from a willingly supportive man.

(Woman) For an intriguing twist
on woman on top,

there is always the seated position
with the man sitting on a chair

or on the edge of a bed,
with his partner straddling him.

(Man) This is a great option

if you prefer your woman-on-top
approach to be more mutual,

as it's easier for the man to simply
drop the woman onto her back,

should he decide he wants to take
a more dominant role in the proceedings.

(Woman) Woman-on-top sex
can be slow and tender

or hard and fast,

and this is the ideal position
if a man is well-endowed,

as it allows the woman to decide exactly
how much she is going to take

and how hard she is going to take it.

(Man) It allows the man to enjoy sex
a more relaxed way,

all that thrusting can be hell
on the thigh muscles,

though it still allows him
enough freedom to thrust upwards

should he crave deeper penetration.

(Woman) As with
the missionary position,

woman-on-top gives
plenty of clitoral stimulation,

making it a great position
for mutual orgasm.

(Man) Sex from behind,
or doggie style,

allows for the deepest penetration
and G-spot stimulation.

The man has easy access to kiss
and nibble the neck and shoulders,

caress the back
or stroke the clitoris during sex.

He can cup the woman's breasts,
kiss her body,

and generally lavish almost
every inch of her with affection.

(Woman) Many woman
enjoy doggie style

because it makes even
the smallest man feel larger,

and the woman can deepen
penetration even further

by pressing backwards
onto the man's penis.

(Man) Although it gets low scores
for intimacy and clitoral contact,

doggie style sex usually
receives high marks from guys

because it allows for aggressive
thrusting

and it has a kind of raw
animalistic feel to it.

(Woman) But there's no reason
that sex from behind

always has to have
the man in control.

Reverse cowgirl
lets the woman set the pace,

whilst allowing her easy access
to caress her own clitoris,

and gives the man a graphic view
that may well speed his climax.

(Man) At quite a wild end
of the scale can be standing sex,

which can have a desperate
"must-have-you-now" urgency to it.

This makes it a great option
for quickies.

Whether it's from behind
or facing each other,

standing-up sex can offer a needy,
urgent compulsion to the act.

(Woman) There are few sexier ways
to start an evening than with a quickie

once you're all dressed up
and ready for a night on the town

when you really should be
on your way.

(Man) And then there's anal sex.

Anal sex has gone from being a taboo
act that men begged their partners to try,

to becoming increasingly popular.

Of course, good anal sex,

meaning anal sex that
is pleasurable and painless,

is not something
that happens overnight.

It can take weeks or even months
for a partner to open up and relax.

(Woman) Regardless of position,

ultimate sex is all about finding out
what works for both of you.

Don't be afraid to experiment,

and accept that making mistakes
and even laughing at various faux pas

are all part of the process.

Half the fun of learning about sex
together is the practice.

(Man) Sexual exploration
can be very exciting,

even without topping things off
with an orgasm.

But most people consider having
the big '0' as a solid finale to sex.

(Woman) Of course,
making that happen for both partners

can be more difficult than it sounds.

Women who require more foreplay
and greater stimulation during sex

generally have more trouble
reaching climax,

particularly via intercourse.

(Man) An erection is
psycho-physiological magic

and can't always be relied on
to spring up on demand.

This is when the woman
should not blame him or herself,

but take charge.

Kissing, caressing and talking sexily
can all help him firm things up.

Or you can use your mouth
more directly to spur things on.

And, rather than panicking,

the man should think sexy thoughts,

perhaps using the fantasies that
he revels in when he is alone.

And he should remember there are
multiple ways to satisfy his lover

even if his penis won't play.

(Woman) Accept this as a part
of normal lovemaking,

and an opportunity
for more oral pleasuring.

Stroking the perineum
or stimulating the prostate gland

if he's into that, can also bring things
back on track in record time.

(Man) If it's a condom related issue,

then masturbating while wearing one
will help him get used to the sensation.

Not having safe sex, though,
should not be an option,

especially early in a relationship.

Yet, however much effort
it takes to get there,

the result should be
wonderfully worth it.

(Woman) Female arousal is linked less
to direct sensory output from the genitals

and more to relaxation
and lack of anxiety.

Scans show that female orgasm
produces activity

across all brain regions
that handle emotion.

Letting go of fear and anxiety
greatly increases the chance

of reaching orgasm.

Females need to take charge
of their own pleasure.

Don't be dependent
on how good a lover he is,

it's not his responsibility
to give you an orgasm -

you have to reach one for yourself.

(Man) But a man can help enormously
by giving a woman time.

Engage in at least 20 minutes
of foreplay.

As the American sex researcher,
Alfred Kinsey, showed,

over 90% of women will reach
their orgasm after this amount of time.

(Woman) Link that with going
for your orgasm first,

get him to help you reach one
with his hands, tongue or a vibrator.

(Man) The "lady-comes-first" rule
takes the pressure off both of you.

(Woman) The two Fs
for a more guaranteed orgasm are:

Friction and Fantasy.

You have a magic button
that he doesn't have.

The majority of women,
when they masturbate,

take between three and six minutes
to climax,

but it can take over 20 minutes with
their partner in penetrative intercourse,

if it happens at all.

(Man) The second F is fantasize
while you're having sex.

Let your imagination go wild.

The joy of fantasy is that
there are no rules or regulations.

Bring in some of the thoughts you have
while you masturbate,

let yourself visualize intensely.

Your brain is the most powerful
sex organ,

use it to help you reach your climax.

(Woman) During orgasm,
the skin becomes more sensitive,

the body requires more oxygen
which speeds breathing,

blood pressure rises,
creating a pink flush in the cheeks,

and the genitals pulse
as the muscles contract.

The genital region harbours
a multitude of different nerves.

The penis has a total of 6,000,

but the clitoris has 8,000 nerves.

The orgasmic sensation varies
depending on the area touched.

(Man) Some say a man's orgasm
differs from a woman's

or that a vaginal orgasm
differs from a clitoral one

because different sets
of nerves are involved.

The nerve that gives the orgasmic
feeling sends messages to the brain,

bypassing the spinal column

which is what allows some paraplegic
people to still feel sexual sensation.

A collection of neurons
called the nucleus accumbens,

or colloquially
"the brain's pleasure center",

becomes highly active
as a woman's orgasm approaches.

(Woman) The part of the brain
responsible for reward and empathy

goes into high-alert mode,

as does the one producing
the hormone oxytocin,

the bonding chemical.

(Man) And so orgasm happens,

and it seems to last significantly longer
in women than in men.

(Woman) When it comes to climaxing,
every couple is different.

You might enjoy mutual orgasms
quite often,

you may work each other up to a state
of near-climax with words alone,

or it could take all night
and hours of foreplay.

(Man) One or both of you may find it
hard to climax from sex alone

and need to reach conclusion with
the help of fingers, tongues or toys.

There is no right or wrong,
only what makes you both feel good.

And that's something you can
only discover together.

Although the penis and the vagina
usually get all the attention,

the truth is that your mouth is the most
important part of any sexual relationship.

And not just for kissing and oral sex.

Using it for communication or sharing
is the big key

towards getting your needs met.

(Woman) As relationships deepen,
desires change.

People evolve and issues arise.

With open communication,
lovers can effectively address

all the twists and turns
of a sexual partnership

and grow together
rather than drift apart.

(Man) It is possible to go
through all the motions of sex

without allowing your emotions
to get too involved.

But surely the best sex is the kind
that deepens intimacy and involvement.

Being honest about everything,
from your erotic fantasies

to your life-long insecurities,

builds the kind of rapport that
a quick one-nighter could never match.

(Woman) Even in the early stages
of a relationship,

honesty will help you develop
a healthy, loving bond.

(Man) And when things
don't go as planned,

or there's a droopy erection
or a just-out-reach orgasm,

it's talking about it that's going
to help you survive the awkwardness

and resolve the problem.

(Woman) A healthy sex life helps
produce a healthy psychological state.

Beyond the joys of having
first-rate orgasms,

the hormones that
get released during sex

foster a sense of well-being

and an increased desire to bond with
the person lying next to you in bed.

(Man) Sex offers the chance
to become

sexually, emotionally
and spiritually fulfilled,

and sharing intimacy with another

actually allows us
to better understand ourselves.

(Woman) For many people
leading busy lives,

enriching their sex lives
might just mean

setting aside a few hours
with their partner

after the kids have gone to sleep,

climbing into bed early
and rekindling neglected desires.

(Man) As if the pleasures
of experiencing powerful orgasms

and a lover's blissful cries
weren't enough,

good sex might actually help you
prolong your life

and that of the person you love.

(Woman) With an incentive like that,
why would anyone resist the allure

of igniting desire and striving
for the greatest sex of their lives?