All language subtitles for The Three Stooges (1958) - S25E01 - Quiz Whizz

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:08,284 ♪ Hello ♪ 2 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,285 ♪ Hello ♪ 3 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,420 ♪ Hello ♪ 4 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,887 Hello. 5 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,815 The headlines are out. He won the money last night. 6 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,083 Why didn't he come home? 7 00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,851 I can't figure out how he ever answered 8 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,220 five questions correctly. 9 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,821 It was all about food, wasn't it? 10 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,523 If it's one thing he knows, it's food. 11 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,125 He's always eating. 12 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,459 But where is he? 13 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,661 He's gotta split that money with us three ways. 14 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,363 We financed him. Yeah. 15 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,564 Hey. 16 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,399 Maybe he ran out on us. 17 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:57,534 Oh, yeah. Maybe. 18 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,736 Oh, no. No, no, no. 19 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,538 Oh! Oh, Larry. 20 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,842 Pour me some water. 21 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,576 I'm too nervous. Wait a minute. Here. 22 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,015 I was just thinking. Maybe he was held up. 23 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,816 He may even be laying in an alley somewhere 24 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,018 bleeding to death. 25 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,253 Oh, poor Joe. 26 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,854 I better call the police department. 27 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,878 I'll get some coffee to quiet our nerves. 28 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,532 Hello, police department? 29 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,267 I want to report a holdup. 30 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,801 And a murder. 31 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,703 The victim's name? Joe Besser. 32 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,472 Good morning, Moe. 33 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,706 Good morning. 34 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,875 Uh, description? 35 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,411 Well, he's about 220 pounds. 36 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,215 Height? About 5'5 " by 5'5". 37 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,616 Color of hair? 38 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,051 Skin. 39 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:51,020 He was wearing a... Never mind! He's here! 40 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,877 Why didn't you tell us you were here? 41 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,825 Ooh, I'm no snitch. 42 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,661 Larry, Joe is here. 43 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,529 Hey, Joe, let's see the check. 44 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,098 What check? I haven't gotten the check. 45 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,700 Don't tell me you cashed it. 46 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,835 Oh, what do you think, I'm an idiot or something? 47 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,404 Of course I didn't cash it. 48 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,439 He didn't cash it. 49 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,023 Of course not. I invested it. 50 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,545 Joe, don't tell me. You bought the Brooklyn Bridge. 51 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,669 Certainly not. 52 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,441 That was sold last week. 53 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,726 I invested all our money 54 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,929 in consolidated Fujiyama California smog bags. 55 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,364 Filled with smog. 56 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:39,168 Oh, consolidated Fujiyama California sm... Smog bags! 57 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,304 Why, you idiot, you let them gyp you! 58 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,506 Not so loud! 59 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,675 I ought to blow the brains out of your empty skull. 60 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,699 No, Moe, are you crazy? 61 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,912 You can't shoot him here. 62 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,548 We could never dispose of that body. 63 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,582 You're right. 64 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,251 Never mind, I want to get him anyhow! 65 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,474 Wait... 66 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,457 Oh, look what you did. 67 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,158 You, uh... Ought to give you the hot face, 68 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,893 that's what I'll do. 69 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,194 Hey, hey, hey. 70 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,185 Hey, who's that? 71 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,135 Call your shots, will you? Who are you? 72 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,870 J.J. Bigby's the name. 73 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,372 Bureau of Internal Revenue. 74 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,375 Income tax to you. 75 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:21,311 Which one of you won that $15,000? 76 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,146 He did. 77 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:27,083 The government would like a check from you for $5900. 78 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,951 Uh, well, how about 50 cents on the count? 79 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,754 Yeah, on account of that's all we've got. 80 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,089 No levity, please. 81 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,759 If payment is not immediately forthcoming, 82 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,860 we will be forced to... Oh, wait, wait. 83 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,763 We'll bring it to you in person. 84 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,931 Plus $10 for a new hat. 85 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:42,932 Here, never mind. 86 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,501 Have mine. 87 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:45,669 It doesn't fit. 88 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,704 Oh, it looks perfect. 89 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,005 Sure. I can't see. 90 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,029 Well, rent yourself a seeing eye dog. 91 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,713 Now, we gotta get our money back from that stock swindler. 92 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:57,781 Tell us about him. 93 00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,483 Well, his name is John Smith. 94 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,320 Don't tell me he introduced you to Pocahontas. 95 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,855 Somebody told you. 96 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,425 Quiet. Now, where is this John Smith? 97 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,394 In his office next door to a barbecue pit. 98 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,996 Hey, does barbecues have pits? 99 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:14,997 No. 100 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,165 What are you hitting me for? 101 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,900 I didn't say it, he said it. 102 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,202 Quiet... 103 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,103 Oh, you said it. No. No, I didn't... 104 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,572 Yes? 105 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,808 Incidentally, do barbecue have pits? 106 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:25,809 Quiet. 107 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,811 We gotta find that Smith guy. 108 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:28,835 Come on. 109 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,315 Wait there. 110 00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,739 Come on. 111 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,919 Come on. 112 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,287 There it is. 113 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,458 "G.Y. Prince. R.O. Broad." 114 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,059 "G-Y-P." 115 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,427 "Gyp. Rob." 116 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,962 What'd you expect? 117 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,797 Ooh. 118 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,667 Open up. It's Joe Besser. 119 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,635 It's the fat guy I sold the stocks to. 120 00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,070 We've got to let him in. 121 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:57,139 Put on your disguise so they won't recognize you. 122 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,978 Come on, open up! 123 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,647 Okay, let them in. 124 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,516 That crook won't let us in. 125 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,684 Let's break the door down. 126 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,118 Good idea. 127 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,255 Ready, set, go! 128 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,657 Whoa! 129 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,538 Where is John Smith? 130 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,607 We threw that crook out. 131 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:34,277 Yes, he gypped some poor man of his TV winnings last night. 132 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,378 So we fired him. 133 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,514 Yeah, we're the guys he gypped. 134 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,915 Let's go to the police. 135 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,517 We'll have them catch that crook. 136 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,351 Wait a minute, boys. 137 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,620 You look like nice fellows. 138 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,322 So we're going to take care of you. 139 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,459 Oh, boy. They're going to take care of us. 140 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,327 Yes. There's an eccentric old millionaire 141 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,695 who's very lonely. 142 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,097 He would like to adopt some nice boys. 143 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,700 His name is Montgomery M. Montgomery. 144 00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,837 Oh, boy. We'll be Montgomery's wards. 145 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,006 Correct. Now, here's all you have to do. 146 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,964 Now, we'll make all the arrangements... 147 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,311 Yes, G.Y. 148 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,747 I've canceled our opera tickets and I understand. 149 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,381 I'm supposed to adopt them. 150 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:15,718 Correct. And then, of course, give them the usual treatment. 151 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,787 Oh, have no trepidations. 152 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,155 You can rely on me. 153 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:22,158 Dead men tell no tales, eh? 154 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,228 Goodbye. 155 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,586 New customers, eh? 156 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,384 I'm Mr. Montgomery's secretary. 157 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,385 Hello. 158 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,488 What nice boys. 159 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,490 You're not so bad yourself. 160 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,591 Catch. 161 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,459 Remember, you're supposed to be a kid. 162 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,461 So I'm a juvenile delinquent. 163 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:01,664 Yeah. Get out of here, you. 164 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,403 What's the matter? 165 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,438 He hit me on my little cheek. 166 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,875 Oh, Lisa will kiss it. 167 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,865 And here too. 168 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,019 Now everything is fine. 169 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,287 Come on. 170 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,957 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do Do-do-do ♪ 171 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,026 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 172 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,361 Why, you must be my new boys. 173 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,196 Yes, Daddy. 174 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:37,567 Well, well, I have some nice toys for you. 175 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,736 I don't like toys. 176 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,738 I like money! 177 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,206 Yeah, folding money. 178 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,308 Well, you shall have some. 179 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,377 Ooh, goody, goody. 180 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,713 This I like. This I like. 181 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,582 Yes, I don't blame you. 182 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,738 Oh, boy. 183 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,755 Havana. A clear Havana. 184 00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,222 Havana? 185 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,925 Oh, he doesn't smoke them. 186 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,793 Oh, no, I don't smoke them. 187 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,127 He eats them like candy. 188 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,530 Yeah, I eat them like candy. 189 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,199 Go on, eat the nice cigar, Joey-woey. 190 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,090 But I don't wanna. 191 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,371 You have to coax him, Daddy. 192 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,439 He's bashful. 193 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,207 Go on, eat that or I'll brain you. 194 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,676 You ain't gonna crab this act. 195 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:20,910 But I don't wanna. 196 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,001 Oh, I see. 197 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,450 Uh, never mind, Joey-woey. 198 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,085 Come with me. 199 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,475 Mm. 200 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,557 Now, sit on Daddy's knee. 201 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,159 Is Joey hungry? Always. 202 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,728 Well, then, eat your nice cigar. 203 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,752 But I don't wan... 204 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:53,999 Good, huh? 205 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,554 Oh, now, chew it up good, Joey, 206 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,423 so you don't get indigestion. 207 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,165 How would you like to play a game? 208 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,335 Exactly what I was thinking. 209 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,805 How about Post Office? 210 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,741 Oh, that's a kid's game. 211 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,698 Not the way I play it. 212 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,246 Let's play Blind Man's Bluff. 213 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,814 You kids blindfold yourselves. 214 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:32,882 Oh, sure. 215 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,884 Oh, boy. 216 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,708 Hee-hoo. 217 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,590 All right. Ready. 218 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,526 Right. 219 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,594 Come on. Follow me. 220 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,696 All right. 221 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,164 First one catches you gets a kiss. 222 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,188 Right. 223 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,274 Oh, look. 224 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,642 April Fool. 225 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:00,910 See? I ate it all up. 226 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,001 See? Eat the rest of it. 227 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,452 I'll catch you. So will I. 228 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,609 Come on. 229 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:17,894 Ah! 230 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,095 I'm poisoned! 231 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,296 Get out of here! Oh! 232 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,498 I'll knock your head off. Boys, boys, boys. 233 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,499 Oh. 234 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,368 Come on. Follow me. 235 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,093 Over here. 236 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,341 Where are you? Hi, there. 237 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,698 Oh. 238 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,557 Am I getting close? Mighty close. 239 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,126 Oh, goody, goody. 240 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,716 Turn around. 241 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,239 A rope. A rope. 242 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,729 Oh. 243 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,828 Oh, no, Joey. There's no more cigars in there. 244 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,264 I'll get you another one, all right? 245 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,660 Hey, what's the idea of conking me? 246 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,028 I didn't do it. 247 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,263 You didn't? 248 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,531 Hey, I smell a rat. 249 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,933 Yeah, a beautiful blond one. 250 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,201 She conked us. 251 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,665 Let's get Joe and get out of here. 252 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,414 Ouch! 253 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,516 Go away, you crazy you! 254 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,517 Ooh! 255 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,319 Come on. We're leaving. 256 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,624 We're leaving. Come on. 257 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,091 Oh! 258 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,259 Moe. 259 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,760 Come on, get out of here. 260 00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,885 They're trying to kill us. Kill us? Oh! 261 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,668 You should never have hit them with that bat. 262 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:40,870 That would never kill them. 263 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,571 But the rat poison will. 264 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,406 Be sure to pour plenty in. 265 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,507 Right. 266 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:46,876 They must be stiff as planks 267 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,100 when Prince and Broad arrive to claim the bodies. 268 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,482 They're murderers. Let's get out of here. 269 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,240 Keep an eye on the door. 270 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,062 Wait a minute! You rats. 271 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,130 You thought you were gonna get us bumped off, eh? 272 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,298 You said it! 273 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,068 And this time we won't miss. 274 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,303 Hey, don't move any further or I'll let you have it! 275 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,306 Lay that pistol down, man. 276 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,275 Okay, you asked for it. 277 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,278 Ah! 278 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,568 Let's get them! No, no! 279 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,450 Oh! 280 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,141 Oh... 281 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,886 Oh! 282 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,235 Hm. 283 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,703 Get them, boys. 284 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,605 Oh, no, no! Don't, don't, don't! 285 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,840 Please don't! Give! 286 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,035 A bull's-eye. Come on. 287 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,272 Club them, Joe. 288 00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,675 Good work, boy. Keep an eye on them. 289 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,316 Now let's get these killers 290 00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:32,614 All right, you. You're... 291 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,150 You're coming to jail with me. 292 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,273 Hey. 293 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,990 That's John Smith, the crook! 294 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,291 Hey, Moe, Larry! 295 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,459 Larry, Moe! 296 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,062 What is it? That's the crook that gypped me. 297 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:49,432 Hey, we got our money back. Fifteen thousand dollars. 298 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,599 Oh, boy, a check! 299 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,468 Give me that check! Before we lose it, 300 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,770 I'm gonna divide it up the way it's supposed to be done. 301 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,538 That's fair enough. Here's your share. 302 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,274 Here's your share, and this is my share. 303 00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,475 Hey, wait a minute. 304 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,232 Give me the income taxes. 305 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,147 At last we're in the dough! 306 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,984 ♪ Oh, at last We're in the dough ♪ 307 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,651 ♪ At last we're in the dough ♪ 308 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,153 ♪ We're in the dough Hi-hee, hi-ho ♪ 309 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,788 ♪ At last we're in the dough ♪ 310 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,390 Oh! What's the matter? 311 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,624 We tore up the check! Oh! 312 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,948 Give me some glue! Yeah, here, here. 20019

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