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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,516 He's got galloping hoofs to the heart. 2 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,218 My goodness, hoof and heart disease. 3 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,186 That means he's nearing the finish line. 4 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,787 They're going around the first turn, 5 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,156 Shemp is in lead by a... Unh! 6 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,158 Come on. He's dying, you're telling jokes. 7 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,760 We should take his temperature. If we only had a thermometer. 8 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,950 Wait. 9 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,198 Here's a thermometer. 10 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,199 Good. 11 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,267 Open your mouth, Shemp. 12 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,202 No, I don't like pills. 13 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,537 Give. 14 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,539 Ow! 15 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,374 Now you go on, heat him a hot water bag. 16 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,665 Heat a hot water bag? 17 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,080 Ten degrees below zero. 18 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,737 Hey, it can't be. 19 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,131 And what do you think you're doing? 20 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,833 What? You told me. I'm heating the hot water bottle. 21 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:32,235 Oh, I see. 22 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,236 Ooh! 23 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,604 Get out of here, you. 24 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,814 You idiot, you made him swallow the thermometer. 25 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,117 Now rub his stomach. Maybe he'll regurgitate the broken glass. 26 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,058 It's no use, he's full of glass. 27 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,893 Gather close, fellas. 28 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,162 I'm gonna kick the bucket. 29 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,664 Oh, no. 30 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,266 I'm going, boys. Now you behave. 31 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,702 If you don't, I'll come back and haunt you. 32 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,178 He sunk. He's gone to the dogs. 33 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,803 Poor Shemp. 34 00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,388 Poor Shemp. 35 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,890 Poor Shemp. 36 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,910 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 37 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,279 Yes. 38 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,314 Yes. Oh, yes, yes. 39 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,483 Shemp is not? 40 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,519 Oh, Shemp is? 41 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,443 Oh. 42 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,325 Miss Jones, bring in the earthly report 43 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,661 of my nephew, Mr. Shemp. 44 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,396 Shemp, there seems to be some mix up 45 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,031 regarding your eligibility to enter these portals. 46 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,568 But Uncle Mortimer, I... 47 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,002 Is this what you want, sir? 48 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,593 Thank you. 49 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,577 Heep! Eep! Eep! 50 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,136 Shemp! 51 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,886 I hope you brought your asbestos suit with you. 52 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,354 Asbestos suit? 53 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,790 Gosh, no, I wouldn't need it up here, I... 54 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,858 But your report shows that you and your cousins, 55 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,694 Moe and Larry have been pretty bad boys. 56 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,763 Oh. Oh, well. 57 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,764 All right. 58 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,899 Give me a pitchfork and a red union suit 59 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,389 and I'll go. 60 00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:53,560 Fret not, my friend. 61 00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:55,161 We will supply you with everything. 62 00:03:55,185 --> 00:03:56,395 Come along with me. 63 00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:58,798 Not so fast with your devilish wiles. 64 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,700 I haven't released Shemp yet. 65 00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:02,068 Thanks, Uncle Mortimer. 66 00:04:02,092 --> 00:04:03,570 Shemp, I will give you one chance 67 00:04:03,594 --> 00:04:05,271 to save yourself from our archenemy. 68 00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:08,240 You will go back to Earth and reform Moe and Larry 69 00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,309 And if you do, you can come back here for good. 70 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,844 If not... Wait, wait. 71 00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:14,146 I'll succeed, I'll reform that Moe and Larry 72 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,582 if it kills me. 73 00:04:15,606 --> 00:04:17,516 What am I saying? I'm already dead. 74 00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:21,921 You realize that they will not be able to hear you or see you. 75 00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,823 They won't hear or see me, eh? 76 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,191 That's great, just perfect. 77 00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,060 Ha, not so perfect. 78 00:04:27,084 --> 00:04:29,729 For I have Moe and Larry under my evil influence. 79 00:04:29,753 --> 00:04:31,130 And I'll thwart you. 80 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,766 Hello, big boy. 81 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,868 My name is Helen. 82 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:52,902 Helen what? 83 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,104 Helen Blazes. 84 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,705 Oh, charmed to know you. 85 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,673 Why don't you come down and see us sometime? 86 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,343 We have some real hot dances. 87 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,933 Dance? Mm-hm. 88 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,757 What am I doing? 89 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,881 Beat it, you devils. Go to blazes. 90 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,896 They nearly got me but I'm okay now, 91 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,498 and I'll reform that Moe and Larry. 92 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,499 Good. 93 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,667 Board! 94 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,202 All aboard! 95 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,038 Express, leaving from Cloud 49. 96 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,973 Bound for the Big Dipper, 97 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,608 Mars, Venus, 98 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:08,178 the Earth and Cucamonga. 99 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,213 Board! 100 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,348 You'd better hurry if you wanna catch that train. 101 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,485 I'll catch that train, but I gotta do something here first. 102 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,753 You see that? 103 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:18,854 Ah. 104 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,345 Goodbye. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 105 00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:30,366 Listen, you old rain cloud, 106 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,034 why don't you look where you're going? 107 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,436 I had the right of way. 108 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,147 What's the idea? 109 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,483 You think you're in California? 110 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,072 Gee whiz. 111 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,048 Whoo, whoo, whoo! 112 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,335 Cut it out, Uncle Mortimer! 113 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:06,924 Board! Wait for me! 114 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,075 "Et cetera, et cetera. 115 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,644 "And furthermore, 116 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,846 "Where as I, Shemp the Stooge, 117 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,615 "being of unsound mind, 118 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,416 "do hereby prove it, 119 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,520 "by leaving all my worldly possessions to my cousins 120 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,922 Moe and Larry. Share and share alike." 121 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,796 This is all of poor Shemp's worldly goods. 122 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,598 A hundred and forty dollars. 123 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,733 To be divided equally between you. 124 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,436 Poor Shemp. He left us all his money. 125 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,737 Money? 126 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,574 Oof! 127 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,009 It's a good thing you hit me with money or I'd resent that. 128 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,212 Quiet. We gotta divide this dough up 129 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,281 fair and square. 130 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,716 Say, there seems to be some more in here. 131 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:54,772 Wait a minute. 132 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,853 Ooh! Oh, oh! 133 00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:00,523 Oh, oh, oh! Ow, ow, ow, ow! 134 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:01,957 Ow! Ow, ow! 135 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,025 Oh. 136 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,921 Laugh that off. 137 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,914 A hundred and forty smackers. 138 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,149 That makes 70 bucks for you, Larry. 139 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,018 One, two, 140 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,820 three, four. 141 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,755 Robber. 142 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,090 Say, tell me, 143 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,359 how old you have to be to collect your old age pension? 144 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,328 Sixty-five. Sixty-five? 145 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,463 Sixty-six, 67, 146 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,466 68, 69, 70. 147 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,735 There we are. 148 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,037 Hey. 149 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,772 Your pile is bigger than mine. 150 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,364 Here's where I start reforming you, mister. 151 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,982 Why don't you watch what you're doing? 152 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,183 What are you talking about? 153 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,685 You know what we're talking about. 154 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,020 Yeah, you blew that money right off the desk. 155 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,994 I'll divide it this time. 156 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,128 That's better. 157 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,496 I think you gypped me. 158 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,964 Oh. 159 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,199 You've been picking on that little guy long enough. 160 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,703 It's about time you get a dose of your own medicine. 161 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,672 Oh, wise guy, huh? 162 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,074 I didn't do nothing! 163 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,542 Why, you, I'll... 164 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,812 Moe, wait. I'll mash you. 165 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,681 Hey, that's enough of this nonsense. 166 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,883 Pay me my fee. I've got a luncheon date. 167 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,451 Oh, yes, your fee. How much is it? 168 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,119 A hundred and fifty dollars. 169 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,155 Why, Shemp only left us a hundred and forty. 170 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,790 I'll take it. 171 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,759 Are you sure this is all you've got? 172 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,728 That's the last red cent, Mr. Fleecem. 173 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,397 See? 174 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:51,967 Any other lawyer would have taken the case for $20. 175 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,903 Oh, is that so? 176 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,206 That's what I call easy pickings. 177 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,309 Are you telling me. 178 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,079 Well, be seeing you later, chumps. 179 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,048 Don't stay in the office too long. 180 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,017 Dirty crook. You mind if we breathe? 181 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,552 Dirty crook. 182 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,354 Well, that did it. We're flat broke. 183 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,855 Got a dime for car fare? 184 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,447 Say, I had some air mail stamps. 185 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,128 Well, what do you know? 186 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,963 I know you're trying to gyp me again. 187 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,669 Moe, I wasn't trying to gyp you. 188 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,204 I thought I had a couple of... 189 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,205 Moe. 190 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,206 Yeah? 191 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,507 You took my money, didn't you? 192 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,508 Yeah, sure. 193 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,876 My pocket was empty, wasn't it? 194 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,740 Sure. Well, what's this? 195 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,215 Hey, 196 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,217 there's something funny going on around here. 197 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,418 I got it. 198 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:43,886 You know, Shemp said he was 199 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,421 coming back to Earth to haunt us. 200 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,589 Ah, let him come. 201 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,691 I ain't afraid of that fathead. 202 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,628 Moe, why did you hit me for? 203 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,297 I didn't touch you. That was what I was afraid of. 204 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,800 Shemp's here, it's him, his ghost just hit me. 205 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,134 Oh, I ain't afraid of ghosts. 206 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,737 Stand aside, I'll prove it. 207 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,772 Keep your hands in your pockets. 208 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,507 Shemp, if you're around here, 209 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,410 give me a smash on the chin and convince me. 210 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,951 Oh. 211 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,153 I'm convinced. 212 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,322 Ha-ha! Well, things are looking up. 213 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,445 Well, so far you boys have had easy pickings, eh, what? 214 00:11:26,469 --> 00:11:28,848 We certainly have. You know, we've made a small fortune 215 00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:29,982 thanks to you. 216 00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,517 I must admit that, uh, 217 00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:34,086 I did give you some devilish good ideas, eh? 218 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,388 Sure thing. Now if we can only get the De Puysters 219 00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:39,257 to buy our phony fountain pen invention for $50,000 today, 220 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,893 we'll be on easy street. 221 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,628 When the De Puysters see a pen 222 00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:44,062 that writes under whipped cream 223 00:11:44,086 --> 00:11:46,365 they'll will fall for it like the other suckers did. 224 00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:48,534 You know you've been very kind to us. 225 00:11:48,558 --> 00:11:49,802 Now what can we do for you? 226 00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:52,404 Oh, don't worry. When the time comes, 227 00:11:52,428 --> 00:11:53,973 I'll let you know. 228 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,308 This guy must be in too high an income tax bracket. 229 00:11:56,332 --> 00:11:59,144 Well, uh, good day, gentlemen. 230 00:11:59,168 --> 00:12:00,445 Goodbye, Mr. Heller. 231 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,237 Here's where I really start reforming you two. 232 00:12:04,841 --> 00:12:06,552 Well, a toast to easy money. 233 00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:07,586 Toodle-oo. 234 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,021 Skip the gutter. Break a leg. 235 00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:13,626 Hey, what's the big idea? 236 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,293 You did it and you're asking me? 237 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,830 Oof! I didn't do it. 238 00:12:17,854 --> 00:12:20,499 It was Shemp. He's come back to haunt us again. 239 00:12:20,523 --> 00:12:22,300 Shemp, if you're really here, 240 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,636 give us a break, will you? 241 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,392 Uh, but no tricks. 242 00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:27,239 Oh, no? 243 00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:30,609 Shemp, where are you? 244 00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,477 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 245 00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:36,715 Hey, that's the De Puysters. Get ready. 246 00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:38,859 I'll get the invention. 247 00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:41,053 Here is our invention. 248 00:12:41,077 --> 00:12:43,088 Well I'm dying to be the first one to see 249 00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:45,090 a fountain pen write under whipped cream. 250 00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:47,059 Indeed, so am I. 251 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,061 Now you take the fountain pen 252 00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:51,263 and place it in here. 253 00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,231 And put the paper in thusly. 254 00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,615 And pour the cream overall. 255 00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:58,470 Now turn the motor on to low. 256 00:12:58,494 --> 00:12:59,827 Low. 257 00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:04,209 It must turn slowly. 258 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,179 Otherwise, it would overflow. 259 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,615 Now would you care to make out your check for 50,000 260 00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,884 - now or later? - Well, I... 261 00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:12,988 Ah. 262 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,127 This is preposterous. 263 00:13:22,151 --> 00:13:24,463 What next? 264 00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:28,100 A towel, I'd like to have a towel. 265 00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,390 Oh, my... 266 00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:46,473 Well, that beats the devil. 267 00:13:48,377 --> 00:13:49,710 You and your invention. 268 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:57,752 Now, you look... 269 00:14:13,903 --> 00:14:15,748 Uncle Mortimer, it's working out. 270 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,072 I think they'll turn honest. 271 00:14:22,378 --> 00:14:25,024 Help, help! Oh! 272 00:14:25,048 --> 00:14:27,993 Help... Help me. 273 00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:29,962 I'm burning... 274 00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:30,963 I'm... Aah! 275 00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:32,097 Oh, Moe! Oh! 276 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,000 Wanna piece of pie? Moe, Larry! 277 00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:36,434 That guy's dreaming again. 278 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:37,770 Why don't you... Hey, Larry! 279 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,171 He's been smoking in bed again. 280 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,338 Get the water and the ax! 281 00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:41,339 Put me out! 282 00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:43,142 I'm burning up! You nitwit, you. 283 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,576 Oh, oh, oh! 284 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,411 You brainless idiot. Oh! Oh! 285 00:14:46,435 --> 00:14:49,447 Turn him around. Turn him around. 286 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,911 That's it. 287 00:14:52,742 --> 00:14:55,054 Why, you nitwit. Get some more water! 288 00:14:55,078 --> 00:14:56,711 Oh, oh, oh! 289 00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,992 Oh, oh, oh! 290 00:15:00,016 --> 00:15:02,516 Okay, look out, I'll... 291 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,830 Ah. 292 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,811 Ah. Oh... 293 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,101 Ahh... 294 00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:25,550 What a dream. 295 00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:26,685 You know, fellas, 296 00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,687 I just dreamt we invented a fountain pen 297 00:15:28,711 --> 00:15:30,155 that writes under whipped cream. 298 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,526 Under whip... 299 00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:36,361 There's your whipped cream. 300 00:15:36,385 --> 00:15:38,330 And there's your fountain pen. 301 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,587 Write yourself a letter. 302 00:15:43,325 --> 00:15:45,704 "Dear Uncle Mortimer..." 19925

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